She sat behind Jay, blocked by a wooden railing. And even though it was this small frail wooden railing, it felt like the biggest barrier in the world they was between him. She couldn't reach out and touch him even though she so badly wanted to. He couldn't reach back because he knew she wasn't allowed to reach forward to hold his hand. He was more worried about her right now than he was than this trial starting. Steven's family's legal team had somehow managed to fight the fact that they weren't allowed to be there and had it overturned. They weren't made aware of it until they walked into the courtroom and Olivia made direct eye contact with Steven's parents. It took everything in Jay for him not to lose his cool. Olivia swallowed her fear and assured him it was fine, this would be fine and kissed him before he had to take his seat away from her.

Olivia sat with Hank to her right and Hailey to her left, and the rest of the team, 51, and a few people from Med on either side of her. She kept her stare on the judge and on the back of Jay's head. She could feel Steven's parents glare burning a hole in the side of her head. This was the first time since her 'death' that they had seen her, and would now be getting the full story on why their son had died. Olivia had been trying to keep her composure, mostly for Jay's sake. He didn't need to be focusing on her when he needed to be focusing on himself and keeping sane through all this.

It was right after Thanksgiving when the trial started, and the had just had such a great holiday and weekend, and that was what they were using to push them through the start of the trial. They had been sitting in the car in the parking garage putting off coming inside when Olivia blurted out they should just have a court house wedding. Jay refused, and Olivia pleaded with him. He wouldn't give in, he wanted to propose, and have time as an engaged couple, plan a wedding and a honeymoon, and have a day of celebration of their love, not a rushed courthouse ceremony. He wanted to give her all she deserved and more.

"Detective Halstead, is being accused of wrong doing, simply because he was doing his job. His job in which he vowed to this city to serve and protect. Detective Halstead was doing what he found to be the right thing to protect a victim, who was in harms way. Something he has been trained to do by this very city, much like other law enforcement officials around the country, and around the world. Not only is he part of an elite unit here in Chicago, he was part of a carefully selected team with the army. Detective Halstead was doing his job, a job in which he had dedicated his life to."

The opening statement by his lawyer felt strong, and even though she had heard it many times being rehearsed, it all felt new to hear. The first day was filled with comments and evidence from both sides, and Jay's legal team ripped apart everything Steven's side presented. They left, walking hand in hand and Steven's parents called out to her. But Olivia kept her head held high and continued to walk with Jay, not once giving into their calls. Her cold, well held together stature, was one she had been used to from her life in New York. The press was itching to work a story about a Chicago detective being accused of a wrongful death, but Hank and Olivia's personal legal team were doing everything the could to keep it from going public. This story would never see the light of day. Olivia and Jay had gone back to Hank's and stayed there for a few hours until it was clear that they weren't being followed. Jay had gone to call Will and talk about the first day of the trial and Olivia sat in the kitchen with Hank having coffee.

"You holding up okay kid? You look a little off."

"I feel off."

"What's going on?"

"Hank he can not take the fall for this. He did nothing wrong. I can't let my life from New York ruin mine or his life in Chicago."

"And it won't. He's gonna beat this. He has the best legal team there is."

"I've got to make a phone call."

Olivia went to stand.

"You're not making any calls."

Olivia sat back down.

"I know your life in New York was more than what you told Jay. I know who bounced around in your family circles. They can not got involved this, do you hear me?"

"You can't tell Jay."

"Olivia, you don't think he already knows?"

"He's never said-"

"Do you think he's really going to? Olivia your family has loose ties to very dangerous people. Jay knows you have no ties to them anymore, but if you make that phone, you'll ruin everything you have with Jay. The very second you hit send, it's over for you."

When Jay and Olivia got home that night, Jay knew something was bothering her. She was quiet, stoic, cold. Her eyes weren't warm like they always were, they were blank.

"Livi, what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Olivia."

"Don't Jay, alright, because I'm just gonna end up saying something that I'll regret later."

"I don't care just say it."

"How long have you known about who my parents know?"

Jay didn't answer.

"How long!"

"Since you told me your real name. I searched the new york data base. I didn't know what else to do.

"How about respect me?"

"Respect you, respect you? Where was the respect you showed me when you didn't tell me the truth for years!"

"I HAD NO CHOICE! I WAS SCARED FOR MY LIFE!"

"IT WAS ME OLIVIA, NOT SOME FUCKING RANDOM PERSON! IT WAS ME!"

Olivia shook her head and grabbed her bag and keys.

"I'm gonna stay at Diana's or Yvonne's for a while."

Twelve days, it had been twelve days since they last spoke. Olivia still showed up to support him and be there, but they never spoke. On the thirteenth day of silence, Jay couldn't do it anymore.

"I'm sorry." he said, " I should have never pushed you to talk about it."

"I didn't want that part of my life to affect my new one. I can't have my old life and have you, and I chose you. And as much as I want to make a call and change all this, I can't because it could ruin everything you've ever worked for."

"Stay with me tonight, my place or you place, just come home with me because I can't go another night without you"