Chapter 16) Archbishop

Life in Grutia is warm. It is peaceful. I learn a lot from the people here. However, as the days pass, we become antsy. When will we talk with the local Resistance? When will we plead our case, and learn what they will require in exchange for joining us? We have to gather people together, and we don't have time to waste.

At the same time, I enjoy these more peaceful moments. They remind me of what I am fighting for. I just… I feel like I should be doing more to 'earn' them.

I had never realized how hard farming was. Never would I have thought that so much work went into preparing the fields and planting the seeds. I also never would have considered the amount of injuries the farmers obtained from the farming. But I had been treating bruises, scrapes, and popped blisters since Skuld led me out into the fields, with barely any time to breathe. It was almost a shame, since I had wanted to learn how to weave baskets with her, but I did enjoy healing.

"There we are," I murmured, finishing my treatment of a little girl's hand. She smiled at me, showing missing front teeth. "Take it easy for an hour or so, to make sure your hand doesn't hurt again, and come straight back to me if you see more scrapes or blisters, okay?"

"Okay!" she chirped, giving me a hug. She then jumped back and raced back into the fields to continue running errands for the farmers. All the younger children did that. "Thank you!"

"Be careful!" I watched her worriedly, half-standing from my seat just in case, but she soon disappeared into the crowd, so I sat back down on the ground next to Skuld to arrange my staff and medicines.

After a moment, realizing I had a break, I searched the fields, finding Hezul and Baldur easily. Hezul and Baldur worked together to loosen the soil and remove the rocks to make planting easier, and I smiled when I saw them laughing together, dirt smeared across smiling faces. Not far away, Noba and Dain actually worked on planting, being very careful with each seed. The people nearby reassured them that they were doing well, via smiles and pats on the back. Vala wasn't in sight, but I knew she was actually using her fire magic to help clear some areas, and to generate ash that they then dusted over some of the soil.

"Skuld?" I began hesitantly, glancing over at her. While she didn't look up from her basket weaving, she made a noise to let me know she was listening. "Why are you all dusting the ground with the ash?"

"Some plants do well with it," she explained. It was fascinating, watching her turn a pile of bark strips into a durable basket. I wished I had time to learn. "So, we sprinkle the ash over those areas to give them the extra bit of help."

"I see." I looked up as another person, a young man with a mess of popped blisters on his hand, walked up. "Ah, goodness, did you overdo it?"

I tended to his hand, and then treated the rest of the injured who made their way over. I kept an eye on the fields, just in case, and I found Neit meandering through the people. I wasn't sure why he didn't plant or do anything with the soil, but I did watch him poke and bully people into taking breaks, and push a few to come see me. Typically, they were the people with injuries that they swore could be 'ignored', but were really signs of something worse or something that could become very bad, very fast.

When the wave of injured subsided, I looked to Skuld again. "Is it too impolite to ask why Neit doesn't help with the planting?" I asked softly. The question felt rude, but I truly was curious. "I mean no disrespect."

"You're not the first to ask, and you won't be the last," Skuld replied. She finished up one basket, and set it to the side before starting another. "He has extensive scarring on his back, and it makes it difficult for him to handle the physical stress. Which is a shame, because he certainly has more stamina than the rest of us. But after an hour of the work, he'd be in so much pain that he can't move." She smiled softly, laughing a bit. "And I know this for a fact because he tries to help out during the night, when no one can see him limping about."

"I see." I needed to ask Hezul about his scars. Hezul was covered as well, but he had never showed anything like that. "Neit is quite awkward, isn't he?"

"He is." Skuld giggled, but there was something sad about it. "Though he says he wasn't part of the priesthood, I still think he was. But I think they hurt him terribly when he tried to leave."

"I had never heard of anyone leaving, truthfully." That made me curious, though. I knew of the Child Hunts, and how those who survived were twisted horribly, with broken smiles and laughs that sounded mad. For the first time, I wondered if any of the priests had been that way. I had only seen the survivors become generals or nobles, but I didn't know everything. Some could have become priests. If so, that made me sad, too sad for such a bright day. So, I looked over to where everyone was working together, planting crops. Yet it only made me sadder. "...Everything is so peaceful…" I looked down and absently traced random shapes in the dirt, mostly just to do something. "Yet…"

"Are you worried about the battles to come?" Skuld stopped her weaving to smile warmly at me. "I don't think you should."

"Truly?" I thought of the few battles we had fought in the past. That also made me remember the village where we first met Baldur, Noba, Dain, and Vala and how it ended up torched because of a Child Hunt. I thought of Cathleen and Darina in Miletos, about their sad pasts that were so common, and about the building set aflame. I thought of Sabia and Rados and all the people who died to the plague. I thought of Magni in Chronos, and his battered group, including the girl who was only just beginning to recover. "Ah, I know you are right logically. I just..."

"You are a kind person who dislikes violence."

"Honestly, I am not certain if it is a dislike or a lingering…" I could fight. I could kill. But I did still remember Galle and how he had never let me hold a weapon. I still remembered how violence had been 'normal', and even celebrated, and how I had hated it. "Regardless, though…"

"It would be nice if things could be solved without violence. No matter what happens, people will die. Good people. But the option to end things peacefully disappeared a long time ago, before we were born. Before our parents were born." She made to pick up her basket again, but decided against it and folded her hands in her lap instead. "Before Neit showed up, we lived in fear. The dragons and Resistance did what they could, but the priests still would steal our children. My sisters both lost children recently, up north where there is no conveniently powerful magic user to protect them." For the very first time since I met her, her smile fell. Without it, she looked terribly melancholic. "The Resistance managed to save one. But not the other. My little nephew is lost forever."

"I am so sorry…" I wondered if… well, if it had been recent, then I likely hadn't seen them. But it did make me wonder, truly wonder, about the children I had seen die so many times. I had made myself not think of them in Belhalla, for my own sanity, but now, I could search my memories and see the broken families behind each of them. "I am so, so sorry."

"The tale is common, sadly. I'd like it not to be, one day." She picked up her basket again to weave. "We make due. But I look forward to a brighter future and you can't change the world without fighting for those changes." She gestured to everyone, laughing and joking even as they worked hard enough to hurt themselves. "This is a world worth dying for, Gwyneth. It's worth living and fighting for as well." She smiled, and it was warm and encouraging. "You're doing fine. We believe in you. That is why we let you stay with us."

"...Thank you, Skuld." I smiled back, touched. "I shall remember the words."

"I'm glad to assist."

We fell silent then, a comfortable and warm silence. While I watched Skuld weave, half-hoping I could learn simply by watching, I absently noticed Baldur and Dain trying to nudge Hezul over towards us. I wondered why, especially since Hezul seemed to be protesting, but eventually, Hezul did come over, holding a bundle of flowers. It confused me, and it also confused me when he handed them to me, but I couldn't help but blush and smile anyway. It was a gift from him after all, even if I didn't understand why someone would give me flowers.

But, based on Skuld's happy giggle, there was something important to it, so I stood up and kissed Hezul's cheek in thanks, earning a blush and shy smile from him and another laugh from Skuld. He quickly returned to work, and I sat back down, admiring the flowers. I had no idea what type of flower they were, only that they were small white flowers that looked almost like stars, but they were pretty. I would treasure them.

Everyone worked in the fields until the sun set, taking only a break for lunch that we all ate outside, under the sun. Everyone was laughing and joking around as we dispersed, though Vala and I had to linger to give people balm for aching muscles and to tend to last-hour injuries. Then, because our group was apparently not absolutely exhausted, the others decided to do some training in the area behind the house we borrowed. I 'conveniently' chose to practice my magic, reading through my tomes inside, while the others chose to practice with weapons outside. After a while, it turned into sword lessons for Dain and Vala, with Baldur and Hezul as their teachers, while Noba skipped inside to cook, humming all the while.

"I can't tell if you are tripping or if you are adding percussion to your song," I teased after hearing yet another series of 'clacks' and 'clangs'. It was quickly followed by a pause in the humming for distressed noises. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Noba replied, voice a bit thin as it drifted from the kitchen area to the 'living room' where I was reading by the fire. I wondered if she had hurt herself again. "Nothing is broken! I think. Food isn't ruined, at least! I think."

"Do you want help?"

"I'm fine! You keep studying!" Noba went back to humming, and I wondered what the song was. It was certainly a cheerful song, at least. "Are the others back inside yet?"

"No, they aren't."

"Don't tell Dain, then!"

"They are going to know something happened anyway."

"Meanie!" It was easy to imagine her sulk, even though I couldn't see her. "I'm not that klutzy, you-ACK!" There was the sound of something falling. "Ow…"

"Are you well?" I marked my page and stood up, setting my tome to the side. "Here, let me-"

"No, no, you study! I've totally got this!" Noba went back to her humming, so I reluctantly sat back down and opened my tome up again. "Shouldn't be too much longer!"

"I see." I flipped back to my page and began reading again. "Has there been anything from the Resistance yet?"

"Nope!"

"Of course there isn't…" While it had been nowhere near as long as it had been with Emer and Miletos, I still felt the weight of each passing day pressing into my shoulders. I knew we couldn't rush, but at the same time… "I hope it is soon."

"I'm sure it will be!" There was another series of bangs, followed by a triumphant 'haha!'. I thought she might have dropped something, but caught it. "Everyone seems encouraging and wants to fight. I'm sure the trouble is reaching them in the first place, between the mountains and these dragon things."

"That is true." I wondered if Skuld had a map that I could borrow to see the actual distance. I had never realized how large Jugdral was until Hezul and I fled. "They could also be busy in the north."

"Yep! Lots of things could be going on." Once again, there was humming. I needed to ask her what the song was later. "Speaking of lots of things going on, though, how is your bow practice going?"

"It is… um…" I sighed, whimpering a bit. My back ached as I thought of those lessons. "I can probably fire a bow in combat at this point?"

"That's amazing!" Noba's laughter was loud and bright, filling the entire house. "It's kind of funny. The too-thin noblewoman who barely knew how to hold a knife is now a healthy rebel with a mastery in bunches of weapons!"

"Ha… that is true." I looked down at my arms, and smiled. They were far more muscled than they had been when I had lived in Belhalla. The burn scars also showed how different I was. It was so strange, but I loved it. I loved being different. I hoped I continued to grow. "That said, I am certain my choosing to keep at it is a sign of my stubbornness and insanity."

"Oh, well, we already knew that." This time, there was silence, and that worried me. It worried me enough that I stood up and headed towards the kitchen. "Say, Gwyneth?"

"Yes?" I stopped right by the kitchen, not going in. "What is it?"

"Everyone is learning more than one except for me." Noba stepped out of the kitchen, one arm wrapped around her waist while the other arm hung a little limply at her side. She was hunched over a little, head bowed. "I keep wondering if it's selfish to not branch out. I don't want to feel like a beginner again, not with so much riding on us, but…"

"I believe it suits you." I smiled as warmly as I could and she gave me a confused look. "No matter how skilled of a warrior you are, Noba, your smiles are brightest when you are helping people. You love cooking for us. You love mending for us. These are things that we are slowly ignoring, because we focus so much on our training. But they still get done, because you handle them with a smile and a laugh." I took her hands and squeezed them reassuringly. "It is thanks to you that we can do these things. There are too little hours in the day. So, I think it suits. If anything, I would argue we are the selfish ones for branching out as we are."

"Ah." She smiled shyly, though strangely, her face became red. "That's…"

"Your face is red suddenly…" I peered at her worriedly. "Are you ill?"

"No, I'm embarrassed!" She sulked, puffing her cheeks out. "It's a blush."

"Oh." I giggled, muffling it with my hand, and she sulked more. "I am sorry. I am still not used to people blushing."

"You should be, with all the cuteness you and Hezul get into." Noba laughed, back to her cheerfulness. "Oh, your reactions were so cute with the flowers~! Surprised Hezul didn't know about the whole 'give flowers to loved ones' though."

"We didn't do that in Belhalla." The only flowers Galle ever gave me were jeweled fakes used as ornaments. "We are still learning 'normality'."

"We're probably the worst people to learn 'normality' from."

"Perhaps." I smiled at her though. "However, it is from you all that Hezul and I first learned the world could still be kind. We wouldn't trade it for anything."

"Ugh… I've got to be red as an apple right now." She sighed, but then suddenly helped. "Ah, wait! Apples!" She darted back to the kitchen and I peeked inside to make sure everything was okay. She waved me away though, pulling something that looked like a pie out from the oven, so I returned to my books and smiled when she went back to her humming. By the time she had finished cooking, the others limped back inside for baths and food. It was a typical evening for us, and I loved every bit of it.

Dinner was lovely, and we all had fun telling stories and the like before getting ready for bed. Strangely, however, my sleep wasn't peaceful. Instead, I dreamed that I was drowning in pitch-black water, or perhaps it was blood because it seemed thicker than water. It dragged me down, no matter how much I fought to reach the surface, filling my lungs, my ears, and my eyes. So, for the first time since I was a little girl, I woke with a gasp, coughing as I ran my hands over my face and chest. There was no sign of the black, but I still could 'feel' the sensation. I could still feel it pressing into me.

"When was the last time I had a nightmare?" I whispered to myself, glancing over at Vala and Noba. Both were curled up together, as was normal, and I was tempted to join them. It wouldn't have been the first time. "I can't remember…" It was probably before Galle got the tome. After that, my waking moments slowly turned into living nightmares, and I didn't dream about anything. "What had that been anyway?" The strangest thing was how the pressure wouldn't disappear.

Now too restless to sleep, I sighed, and stood up, brushing my hair out of my face. Then I froze because there was another person in the room. It was a cloaked person, moving with a strange fluidity, and they… they had the Loptyr tome. They had the tome, and were trying to escape…!

"No!" I grabbed the first weapon I could, an axe, and slammed it into their side. They crumpled instantly, blood oozing out, and I caught the tome before it hit the ground. I nearly dropped it anyway, though, as it burned. It burned and flickered with a dark flame, and the shadows seemed to dance near it, as if it was calling them to it. "What is…?" What was going on? Had the tome acted like this before? I hadn't seen it, but most of the time, we hid the tome away.

"What's with all the noise?" Vala whined, yawning and pushing herself up at last. She blinked blearily at me, rubbing her eye, but then all sleepiness left when she saw the body. "Holy…!" She shook Noba awake and scrambled up. "Who the hell?!"

"I don't know," I whispered, hunting for a tome. I wanted my 'best' weapon on hand with things so… "They tried to steal the Loptyr tome, though. I almost slept through it."

"We got complacent." Vala rolled Noba over and then went to grab her own tome. Noba groaned and shook her head, groggily sitting up. "Oh, man…"

"This is bad…" I found Nosferatu and, after hesitating for a moment, picked it up. I had never used it in battle before, but it was easily my strongest tome. It hummed in my hands, reminding me that I could finally use it, just as Heim knew I could. "If there was one, then perhaps there are…" I groaned when bells rang right then, warning bells. "Of course."

"To be fair, they were going to ring whether or not we set up a good punchline or not." Vala kicked Noba's spear over to her. "Up, up, up! Before the floor sets fire or something."

It took a little longer to get Noba up, mostly because it took her that long to realize there was something wrong thanks to how sleepy she was. But once it all processed, she was darting out of our room before us and bursting into the boys' room to make sure they knew what was going on. Thankfully, they did, since the bells had woken them up. Without saying anything, we gathered our weapons and stepped outside, lingering back so that we could actually see the situation. There were many battles, and many more dead, but from what I could tell, it seemed like Neit was the only one actively fighting, using his magic to toss the attackers to the side. Everyone else was trying to not die, and assisting with evacuations, evacuations headed by Skuld, based on her shouting.

"Well, this has become a mess?" Baldur noted with a nervous laugh, the kind of laugh that you had when you had no idea what else to do. Of course, we had a dead child not five steps away from the house, their hand outstretched like they had tried to reach for something. The bandages on them told me I had treated them earlier today, in the fields. "So, where to?"

"The best thing is probably to go to Skuld," Vala pointed out. She shifted back a bit, probably to use the rest of us as cover. "We can ask her what she… Guh…!" However, she stumbled suddenly, gasping in pain and spitting out blood. It took a couple of blinks to realize it was because there was a lance sticking out of her gut. It took a couple more to see the one who ran her through was… was the person I had hit with the axe earlier. However, the grey skin and blood-red 'flame' flickering in their eyes screamed just what they were. They were a Deadlord. A simple axe was, by no means, enough to kill one of them.

Decapitation was, though, and Hezul quickly proved that. While Hezul kicked the head away, and dragged the body out, I ran back inside to fetch my staff while Noba and Baldur pulled the lance out of Vala's stomach. Sadly, I had to heal it fast, so it left a scar, but Vala's wan smile told me she didn't care. She was just glad to have her insides where they were supposed to be.

She did let us hug her, though, before we ran for where Skuld was. Vala and I had to go a bit more slowly, mostly because we used our spells to cover civilians racing for safety. Even with all the chaos, I couldn't help but feel proud that I was using this spell. I was proud I proved Heim right. I was proud I had gotten strong enough. Even as I despaired at all the fighting and dead, I couldn't help but be a little happy. It made me feel horribly nauseous, though I did my best to not show it, especially as we got closer to the castle's gates.

"Skuld!" Dain was suddenly a blur of movement, and it took a couple of blinks to realize that Skuld had been in danger. A Deadlord had tried to run her through. Dain, however, blocked it and attempted to skewer the Deadlord. He yelped, though, when the Deadlord continued attacking, even pulling itself down the spear to get a better hit on him. "What the hell?!" he snapped, kicking the Deadlord back. It caught his leg, but Dain used that to unbalance it and pinned it to the ground. "How the hell do you kill these things?!"

"Go for the head!" Hezul explained, voice very calm given the situation. He emphasized his words by swinging down hard and shattering the Deadlord's skill. "The other is to strike where the magic is centered, but that's different for each one."

"Oh, lovely."

"It is, isn't it?" Hezul shrugged and looked around. For a split-second, his eyes widened and he stiffened, but he quickly looked away, glancing around. I frowned worriedly at him, but he shook his head. Whatever it was that startled him, he didn't want to speak about it right now. Then again, we were in the middle of a battle. "Ah, Neit."

"They have the dead, and I really want to strangle that maggot for it," Neit grumbled, stomping up to join our grouping. The annoyance almost hid how his hands shook, and how his eyes darted around. "Glad that you all could join us."

"We had one in our house, so we were slightly delayed," Baldur retorted instantly. Noba and I shared a wry smile behind his back. "We also didn't think there were, you know, dead walking about? Much less Deadlords?"

"That… for once, that wasn't actually meant to be caustic. I am very glad you're out here." His expression was serious enough, but amusingly, his tone was still dry. "Ugh… Skuld?"

"Yes, yes, I'll help you," Skuld replied, laughing a little. She was dressed in a simple nightgown, her hair falling out of her braid, and seemed completely unshaken by all of this. She assisted a little girl passing through the gates to the castle, and nodded. "You had wanted to head around to a different area, yes? I'm sure everyone here can keep us safe."

"Then I'm leaving now before I bite off the foot in my mouth," Neit muttered. He bowed quickly to us and ran, disappearing into the shadows of an alley instantly.

"He should've waited a moment to make sure you were okay with that." She sighed, and smiled kindly at us. "I didn't mean to volunteer you."

"I think we volunteered ourselves," Dain pointed out. He shrugged and looked at the rest of us. "I'll continue protecting Skuld. Not sure how you want to… oh, damn it."

All of us ducked as an axe swung just above our heads. Dain rammed his spear through the person's head, and the rest of us spread out a little to fight off the attackers. We didn't go too far from each other, since Deadlords required multiple people to take down typically. They were magically enhanced, after all.

"You know; I thought there were only like… twelve or something," Noba complained at some point, pushing a Deadlord off of her after it tried to pin and bite her. Vala then set it aflame, burning the head off. "I see more than twelve!"

"There are twelve unique names, but more than twelve Deadlords," Vala explained. She wiped the soot off her face, smearing blood across it. "We've probably got twenty here, and there's likely a few more in the capital."

"Is there an army of them?"

"No, I don't think so?" Vala glanced at me. "Gwyneth?"

"When Hezul and I were there, there were forty that I knew about," I replied, casting Nosferatu again on a nearby Deadlord, one Baldur was fighting. I blasted the arm off, allowing Baldur take its head. "The process is tedious and draining, and they require the corpses to be in 'appropriate condition' among other things." Galle mentioned something about having to either be quick about it or use the corpse of someone who had a great deal of 'quintessence'. "So, they are very picky about who they make into Deadlords, choosing those with a great amount of skill and power in life. You can see how the First Emperor's Deadlords destroyed everything though." I got on my tiptoes and saw Hezul fighting off some Deadlords that had gotten too close to the gates. Dain helped him, though he prioritized keeping Skuld safe. "We should…" A spike of power made me jump back, just in time as a thunder spell hit the nearby building and made it collapse into a pile of rubble, cutting Baldur and me from the others. Though, I wasn't sure if Baldur noticed, since he was still in the middle of a fight.

"Well, that happened," Vala groaned, voice horribly muffled. She then sighed. "We're okay, so don't try to climb over, Gwyneth."

"I don't think I can anyway." I eyed the pile dubiously, thinking it looked unstable. "My hands are a little full."

"Loptyr tome, your tome, and staff. Right, right." There was some sort of yelp. "Ugh… more… we're okay, so find a way back to us!"

"We shall." I stepped back from the rubble, just in time for a few pieces to bounce down, and looked over to where Baldur just emerged victorious in his fight and now was staring blankly at the blocked path. I opened my mouth to call to him, but my voice died when I felt something worming in my skull, carving paths in my mind. I shook my head roughly and, when the feeling didn't go away, hit myself in the temple with the heel of my palm, almost dropping my staff with the movement. The pain actually dazed me briefly, but the sensation disappeared at least.

I looked up and around, wondering just what caused that feeling, and I stilled when I saw a person standing not far away. I knew his dark purple-red robes immediately, before I even confirmed they were edged with gold embroidery. The embroidery was what made it stand out, because no other Loptyr priest had that. Only the Archbishop was allowed. Archbishop Acheron… I had always hated him. He was the one who gave the tome to Galle. But I couldn't believe he was here. While he had always traveled to the various countries, checking on the Child Hunts, the fact that he happened to be here, when I was… when the tome was…

"Princess Gwyneth," he called, voice patronizingly polite. His smile matched the tone perfectly, and fear and dread flooded me. I had seen that smile far too often over the years. It was the same smile he wore when sacrificing children to Loptyr. "It is so good to see you again."

"I am afraid the feeling is not mutual," I replied, stepping back. Sadly, I didn't have anywhere to run, and gods above, I wanted to run. He made me feel like a little girl again, helpless as my 'picture perfect happiness' fell to pieces. "You tried to invade my head, didn't you?"

"My, my… I didn't expect a bite out of you. No wonder I had so much trouble. I thought you would be as tractable as always, pliant as a doll. But I suppose some fools made you think you could be pieced together again." He smiled with all the kindness of a cup of water placed just out of reach when you were dying of thirst. I shook at it, recognizing it as nothing good. Acheron adored picking people apart before killing them. "Such idiocy. You both already drowned in the shadows. Reaching for the light is only going to hurt you."

"I…" I knew I should respond. But my mouth was dry, and my voice was nothing but a croak in my throat. "I can…"

"I'm sure you must hurt. You were always such a gentle princess." Though he didn't raise his voice, his words somehow became louder. They became 'grander', as if more than one person was saying them. "Such fighting… so many dead… why must you do this? Why would you kill them?"

"I…"

With a loud yell, Baldur suddenly charged at Acheron, startling me into remembering I wasn't alone. However, before I could even try to help, Acheron easily dodged Baldur's strike and blasted him with a Hel spell. Blood poured down Baldur as he stumbled, coughing up even more blood, his eyes wide with shock and pain. Then Acheron snapped his fingers and another spell slammed into Baldur's back, cracking it open like a glass window. Baldur… Baldur crumpled, hitting the ground with a strangely loud 'splat'. His blood pooled under him, muddying the ground.

I knew I needed to run to him. I knew I needed to heal him. But I was frozen. I couldn't move. All sound disappeared. Most color disappeared. All I could focus on was the Baldur's red blood, and how each drop represented his life, and his death. I knew… I knew death was possible for us, given the insanity of what we were planning. I knew death of loved ones was painful, no matter how many you have lost. But never had I experienced so much pain before. I felt like my heart just shattered, the pieces gouging me, and if I weren't frozen, I swore I would have been screaming.

Then I couldn't do anything. Something burrowed its way deep into my skull, and I… I couldn't fight it.

"Another dead because of you. My poor princess, it must hurt so, to be responsible for so much pain." Acheron's voice was everywhere and nowhere now. "I'll take the pain away, though. You'll be happy again, if you just let me help, Princess Gwyneth." Fragments of memories danced around me, pictures in a tapestry slowly starting to unravel. "You really shouldn't fight destiny, you know. It just leads to you being hurt." Little shards were falling away, and I… I…

All at once, the feeling disappeared. I was back in the 'real world', out of my head. It took everything I had to lock my knees and keep from collapsing, though I did drop my staff and claw at my head. I dug until I felt blood drip down my face, biting my lip until I tasted iron. Desperately, I tried to think of some important memories and, to my relief, they came easily. But I still felt horrible. My skin crawled. I felt like I needed to tear off all my skin to even have a chance of feeling 'better'. But that was for another time. With the pain came a sense of clarity and grounding, and I looked up to see just why Acheron had stopped. I decided it probably had something to do with the sword sticking out of his chest. That seemed like something that would distract from a spell, especially when the wielder of the sword was someone who, by all logic, should be very dead.

"Fuck. Off." Baldur kicked Acheron off his blade and stumbled back. Blood still streamed down his body, ruining his clothes. Blood was smeared everywhere, and even his steps were bloody thanks to the puddle. Yet, despite all of that, he still stood tall. He still stood defiant. He had to be at death's door, but still he… "Just because you're afraid to heal doesn't mean you get to stop other people from doing so," he growled, bringing up his sword for another strike. It shook badly, and his arm actually dropped a bit. "You're not getting a single thing here!"

"Little… maggot…!" Acheron growled, hood falling back. His eyes flashed with rage, and I absently remembered how Acheron never reacted well to pain. No one but Galle got away with it. But that hardened my resolve and brought more spark to my spirit. "I'll flay you alive!"

"You shall do no such thing!" I snapped, gesturing sharply. Light burst from my hand and shot towards Acheron, biting deep into him. The light then surged back to me, filling me with warmth. It was a similar warmth that I felt from healing magic. "I am no docile doll anymore, Acheron!" I hunted for my staff and saw it was thankfully near. "I took my life back, and I won't let you steal it from me again!"

I attacked twice, once at Acheron and once at a nearby building. The one at Acheron missed, but the one at the building didn't. As the rubble fell, Baldur stumbled over towards me and I scooped up my staff. Acheron screamed as the rocks hit him, but I didn't care. I only cared about…

"I can't believe you're walking," I grumbled, healing him up. He simply smiled, bright and cheerful despite the blood staining his teeth. "I do thank you for your assistance, but I am dumbfounded. Flabbergasted."

"I was angry enough to punch death in the face," Baldur joked. He even laughed, though he winced pretty quickly. "Oh, the numbness is going away. I hurt. Who is the bastard anyway?"

"Archbishop Acheron is the head of the Loptyrian priests. He's the one who likely broke that poor girl's mind." Then he tried to do the same to me.

"Oh, lovely. More reason to split his head open." There was a sudden spike of power and we both ducked down, just in time to avoid the flying pieces of rubble Acheron 'threw' at us with his magic. "That… that is so not fair."

"Welcome to life with him."

"Remind me to give you bunches of hugs later."

I didn't bother replying. Instead, we both rolled in different directions to avoid another magic attack. Acheron was bleeding badly, with bits of rock stuck in his skin and robes. He snarled, rage-filled eyes darting between Baldur and me, trying to pick a target. He eventually focused on me, probably because he couldn't believe that I, the docile doll, the quiet princess, had actually hurt him.

"Idiot girl!" he roared, bringing both hands up. Black fire spiraled around his arms. "Drown!"

"I would rather not," I replied, keeping strangely calm now. I casted Nosferatu at the same time and the two spells collided together. There was a flash of silver light, and there was a loud sound like a thunderclap, but when everything settled, I saw the two spells had canceled each other out. It startled me, because I knew he had to be stronger. But, then again, it was possible he was holding back against me, for Galle's sake.

He snarled in fury and cast his spell again. I did the same, and this time had to dodge as a small bit of dark magic flew past where my Nosferatu crashed against his spell. But it was weak enough that I could dodge easily, and Acheron became more and more furious, focusing entirely on me and ignoring Baldur. Baldur, of course, took full advantage of that, and while I fought Acheron, he snuck around behind him. He waited for the perfect moment and then struck twice, catching Acheron across the back both times. Baldur jumped back and to the side to dodge Acheron's flailed-casting of Hel, and then he surged forward to run Acheron through the chest.

However, a tornado erupted in front of him, and so, Baldur scrambled backwards, wincing as bits of rock gouged his face and neck. I rushed forward to heal him, and flinched as I was hit as well. With the wind died down, a Deadlord carrying a green tome had the badly bleeding, and actually unconscious, Acheron on its back. It stared at us blankly for a long moment before darting away, joining some other Deadlords who were fleeing. Within seconds, they were completely out of sight. They… they retreated, possibly because Acheron was at death's door.

However, they certainly left their mark. There were corpses strewn about the streets. There was blood splashed everywhere. Buildings were crumbling. The wind was heavy with the screams of the injured and the mourning. It was… it was a far cry from the happiness from earlier. Worse, though, was that scenes like this would become all too common if we managed this rebellion.

This was all our… this was all my fault.

Everyone was moved into the castle, for safety's sake. Vala and I tended to the injured, while the rest of our group helped with patrols. After everyone was healed, I decided to take a walk through the halls to stretch my legs. However, after a while, I simply found a window that overlooked the city and stared out. The moon was full and the stars glittered beautifully, but the city was still wrecked. For some reason, no one was in a hurry to gather up the bodies. Skuld said that it could wait until the morning.

"She mentioned something about how they have sky burials due to the rocky soil," I whispered to no one, leaning against the glass. It was almost painfully cool. "I wonder what she meant by that."

"It means leaving the body out for the birds and dragons." Neit's voice startled me, but now that everything was over, I was honestly too exhausted to be startled. "People will hike up the nearby mountains with the dead and set them up," he continued, walking over. Unlike the rest of us, he seemed completely fine despite the battle. There was no trace of exhaustion at all in his demeanor or expression. "Then the families will set up quiet memorials in their houses, and go about their business. The land here is a bit too harsh for extended mourning practices like burials and funerals."

"I… I see…" I murmured, not quite sure how to respond. Truthfully, my immediate reaction was horror, but I supposed it made sense. More importantly, it was part of their culture, so I didn't necessarily have a right to judge. "So, there are no ceremonies?"

"Skuld might make a speech since it was so many, but that will be the extent. People keep their mourning quiet. You and yours won't be required to do anything except maybe do a bit of extra work so that those mourning can rest." His eyes narrowed and he studied me closely, even leaning forward slightly. "Please tell me that a single attack isn't enough to shake your resolve." His voice was incredibly dry. "You can't be that idiotic."

"What makes you believe something is wrong?"

"You staring blankly out the window for a good hour?"

"...That is a good point, I suppose." I hadn't realized I had been standing here for so long. I hoped the others weren't worried. "No, it isn't necessarily that, but I do grieve the fallen."

"And you think it's your fault they died?" He still spoke dryly, and I frowned at being so easily read. "Don't think you're the only one who made these sorts of choices. When you choose to change the world, you automatically choose to sacrifice the few to save the many. And you don't get to choose who those 'few' are, or the consequences of those deaths. It sucks, but in situations like this, the only other option is to let everything die."

"Yes, that is true." I didn't like it very much, but I knew they was nothing that could be done to change it. Even if we somehow snuck in and assassinated Galle… well, the assassin wouldn't make it out of Belhalla alive, for one thing. "I know what I am fighting for." Skuld's words from earlier still comforted me, even if I viewed this as my fault.

"Then what is wrong?" He crossed his arms, and I had the sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't let up until I answered. He was as stubborn as Baldur.

So, I sighed, and chose to just… be blunt. "If you're broken, is it really so foolish to expect that you can put yourself back together?"

"Yes." His reply was instant, no-nonsense, and made me wince. "The phrase implies that you expect to go back to how you were. And that's impossible. Even when you repair something, you can see the cracks. Some minor pieces will be lost. It will never be as it once was." After a moment, he smiled, and it was surprisingly soft. "It is not foolish, however, to learn how to live and make something different from the pieces."

"Truly?"

"Yes." He looked out the window now, eyes distant. "Where I am from, there was a terrible war. I won't go into the details or anything. But I was rash. I was foolish. I was captured by horrible people who put me through torture unimaginable, to the point that when I was freed, I couldn't even recognize my reflection."

"That sounds…" I struggled for a word, and couldn't come up with anything. "I am so sorry."

"I am too. When I was 'rescued'... well, I wasn't very happy." He rolled his eyes. "I lashed out. I screamed. I attacked everyone who came near, in the hopes that they would kill me. I tried to kill myself. I was broken, and the shards had carved away important parts of me." He smiled, though, and it was that same soft smile. "But there was one person who never gave up on me. We had never met before then, but she stayed with me. She supported me. And, in time, the missing parts became scars." He looked to me. "That's what you and the people of Jugdral do. You live, you fight, you bleed, you break, you heal, and you scar. The scars can make some things harder, but they can also remind you that you have survived."

"Yours cause you pain."

"They always will. But I lived, and the one who did this to me didn't. I killed him myself." His eyes narrowed. "Of course, bastard is still causing problems, but that's just what maggots do, I suppose." He sighed, and shook his head. "Regardless, healing takes a while. Walking away from that feeling of wanting to die takes a while. Of course, then you have fools like Baldur who get hit with two should-be-fatal spells and decides that death is just another thing to be fought." He rolled his eyes, and I couldn't help but laugh, though I quickly muffled it. "A bit of advice. Work towards not hiding your laugh. You'll be surprised how much better the world feels."

"I shall keep it in mind." This was also the most talkative I had ever seen him. "May I ask you about another thing that has been bothering me?"

"You sure you want to? I think I've used up most of my low supply of tact."

"I was just thinking you were being talkative." I smiled, and he actually chuckled. "It deals with dark magic, though. At least, I think it does."

"Ah, in that case, go ahead."

"Did Acheron track Hezul and me?" That honestly terrified me. That he had showed up exactly where we were, where the Loptyr tome was… it was unnerving, and it made me fear for everything.

"Hmm…" He studied me and brought his hand up. Gentle purple light wrapped around his hand and, after a moment, he brought it down again, shaking his head. "No, there is no tracking on you. It is possible you were scried, though."

"Scried?" It took a moment to remember what that word meant. "Ah, you mean they used a mirror to see me from afar?"

"Impressive that you know it. But it's any reflective surface, for the record." He shrugged, smiling slightly. "Wind mages are able to do something similar, via listening to the sylphs, but dark magic is the magic of knowledge. Shadows are everywhere, and 'see' everything. Those with dark magic can simply… reach."

"That is a better explanation than what Galle gave me." Galle did hate the magic, though. I wasn't sure why, but it had always irritated him. "That is... disconcerting." Vala was right. We had gotten far too complacent.

"It is also entirely possible that he came here to deal with a 'problem area' himself and then he got lucky. I've been killing priests here for around a year roughly. It was only a matter of time before they sent someone important." He gestured vaguely. "From there, he likely just sensed the tome, and it 'reached' for him. It wants to return to its proper wielder. It dislikes being away from him."

"You make it sound like it is alive." I remembered Scathach saying 'Loptyr devoured him', but in retrospect, I truly should have asked her more about what that meant.

"It's more like a bond. Think about, say, how you feel when alone versus how you feel when you're with your family." When he put it like that, I supposed it made some sense. Though, I was still confused by 'sentient weapon'.

But that was neither here nor there. "Is there a way to destroy it?"

"The bond or Loptous?"

"Lopt… pardon?" I frowned. "What is…?"

"The tome. It's called 'Loptous'. It translates to 'Tome of Loptyr' or 'Book of Loptyr'." He shook his head. I wondered how he knew that. "Sadly, I do not know. I would imagine so, everything can be destroyed, but I do not know it offhand. I will do some research and see if I can find anything." He then grimaced and started poking my shoulder. "Okay, I have used up all of my allotted social interaction. This way."

"Pardon?" I began walking, and he continued poking. "Why?"

"Just walk."

Remaining evasive, Neit nudged me down the hall before giving me one more shove and then all but running away. I wondered why he had done so before I realized Hezul was here, looking out a window much as I had been. I had to smile, realizing this was Neit awkwardly reminding me that I still had my friends, my family. I still had Hezul. Even if I was broken into shards, I had people who could help me find something to make from the pieces. Even if I was drowning, I had people who could anchor me and even pull me out.

"Hezul?" I called softly. His eyes darted over to me and he smiled. "What has you out here alone?"

"The noise got to me, and I wanted to think a bit," he explained, waving me over. I did my best to not skip, since it didn't suit the mood of the city. "Though Vala was talking about looking for you. You have been gone for a while."

"I had to do some thinking myself." I looked out the window briefly before focusing on him again. "Seeing Acheron was a little…"

"I think that's the first time I've heard you say his name."

"Ah… yes, I suppose so." Back in Belhalla, he had just been 'Archbishop'. I had been too afraid to use his name. Now, though… "I suppose it is just another way I have changed."

"It is. It's fun to see." He hesitantly ran his hand through my hair, and I smiled. "Reaching for the light will only hurt, huh?" He chuckled. "I don't think I mind. You often hurt after a good spar, but that only means your muscles are getting stronger."

"That is a good way to look at it." I hesitated before I got on my tiptoes and kissed him. Shyly, he kissed me back, pulling me close. "So, you heard him?"

"He was being loud. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, though." His hand left my hair to linger by the scabs on my face, leftover from the Tornado shrapnel. I closed my eyes, enjoying the touch. It felt reassuring and comforting. "To be separated like that, with you in danger…"

"I probably wouldn't have even been in the situation if I hadn't frozen." I held his hand on my face and opened my eyes to smile at him. "I shall be fine."

"I like protecting you though." Hezul smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me again. "Ah, we can argue about that at a later time. Let's think and talk of other things."

"That sounds good." I giggled, already feeling lighter. Later, we would try to figure it out. Right now, I just wanted to enjoy being alive, being free, and being here. "Should we join the others?"

"In a moment." He kissed me yet again. "If that is okay?"

"I am fine with that." We could meet them later, and we would. They were the ones who showed us the light in the first place, after all. "I…" It was almost frustrating that I still couldn't say those simple words. But he understood anyway. "Thank you, for staying with me."

"Always."

Our Family

Gwyneth

21 years old

Class: Shaman; Weapons: Fire - B, Thunder - C, Wind - B, Light - A, Staves - A; (Axes - D, Swords - D, Lances - D, Bows - E)

Skills: Critical, Paragon

Was confused by the whole 'giving flowers to loved ones' thing because the only time she saw people 'giving flowers' was leaving flowers for the dead. Still, they're pretty and she likes the gift

Feels uncomfortable about Acheron's attempt to wipe her memories, and is terrified she's forgotten something important. However, she does her best to not let her worries show, because she doesn't want to trouble the others.

Hezul

22 years old

Class: Paladin (dismounted); Weapons: Swords - A, Lances - B

Skills: Pursuit, Ambush, Wrath

Has no idea what a 'traditional courtship' is like, and swears that Baldur and Dain are just messing with him. But he decides to play along, and admits that Gwyneth's smile at the flowers was lovely

Half-thought he saw his father among the Deadlords, but he isn't certain. He keeps quiet on it because he's uncertain, but it is a reminder that he has to prepare himself for that possibility. He never saw all of the Deadlords after all.

Noba

19 years old

Class: Soldier; Weapons: Lances - A

Skills: Adept, Nihil

Sorely tempted to tell Hezul outrageous 'acts of courtship', just to see him do them, but holds off because she thinks it might be a little too mean. Even if it would also be absolutely hilarious

Frightened by the Deadlords and is very grateful that she knows the fates of her loved ones. The very idea of facing one of them as a Deadlord is enough to make her nauseous.

Baldur

22 years old

Class: Mercenary; Weapons: Swords - A

Skills: Pursuit, Charisma

Due to the extensive damage, and how quickly Gwyneth had to heal him, he is now covered in scars. He takes it in stride, though, joking that he has almost as many as Hezul. He is apologetic about them, though, and how his temper got the best of him, for once.

Was ordered to rest, but everyone gave up enforcing that when Baldur encouraged no less than ten pranks in as many minutes, helping as much as he was able. He did make sure to rest, if only to not make Vala yell at him.

Dain

23 years old

Class: Soldier; Weapons: Lance - A; (Swords - D)

Skills: Nihil, Adept

Still more than a little freaked out by the Deadlords, feeling like he only just now understood why they were so horrible. And why Hezul taught them how to try and avoid that fate.

Really confused by Skuld's insistence on showing him 'proper gratitude' since he doesn't think he did anything worth thanking him for. He'd protect anyone who needed it, after all. He wonders if it's a local thing.

Vala; Fjalar

18 years old

Class: Fire Mage; Weapons: Fire - A; (Swords - C, Thunder - E, Wind - D)

Skills: Wrath, Miracle

Was terrified during the battle that she might see her family among the Deadlords. While she didn't, the sight of them reminds her of the possibility.

Plans on telling Hezul some ridiculous courting things she's seen, mostly as pranks. She's the 'little sister', after all, and little sisters are supposed to make trouble for the rest. And it reminds her of happier memories of her family. Her brother had been engaged before the priests took him, after all.

Our Allies

Neit

Unknown Age; appears 25

Class: Unknown; Weapons: Dark - A

His entire body is covered in deep, raised scars, which severely limits his flexibility. The scars frequently pain him as well, which does not help his mood one bit.

Took the time to speak with each of the group, awkwardly checking in on how they were doing after such an unsettling battle. He's impressed, and exasperated, by their resolve, but thinks that is why they 'glow'.

Skuld

21 years old

Truly believes in the group and their goal, finding joy in their strength and determination. She also, however, loves how they constantly question themselves, because she thinks it makes them more worthy of leading than those who are blindly confident

Attempts to thank Dain for saving her life and protecting her, but he brushes it off every time. It's frustrating for her to say the least.

Author's note: 'Acheron' is the name of a Greek God, and a river in Greece, believed to be one of the rivers of the underworld. It was known as the 'River of Woe' or the 'River of Pain'. There is no evidence that 'Loptous' translates into anything, much less 'Book of Loptyr'. It is just me trying to reconcile the inconsistent localization for this tome (Loptyr in Awakening, but Loptous in Heroes). The idea of the 'Holy Weapons' (for a given value of 'Holy') calling to their wielders/majors is something I mentioned in Memoirs of the Holy War with Yewfelle and Brigid.

The scene with the 'shards of memory' is based off of the Oosawa rendition of Manfroy erasing Deirdre's memories. Baldur surviving two hits is because, in FE4, Hel actually can't kill you. It can in FE5 (because FE5 hates the player), but not in FE4.

Now, in FE4, there are only 12 Deadlords (6 show up in FE5), and in the main game part of FE13, only 12 show up. However, in one of FE13's DLC, 36 show up (though there's only 12 'unique' types), so I'm going with the assumption that there can be more than 12. I am also assuming, however, that it's a tiresome process, which is why there's not an entire army of them.

I could be very wrong on this, but from what I can recall, necromancy/undead only appear in connection to nonhuman things. In FE2/15, you have the Terrors that rise up due to the broken Divine Accord (therefore connected to Duma and Mila). In FE8, you have the Demon King, Fomortiis. The Risen are a bit different (thanks to revelations in FE15), but even then, it deals with an accidental creation (which could be due to who the hell knows what). Regardless, I am assuming that the magic is tied to dragons (and whatever the hell Fomortiis is) and not something humans would normally know, hence Neit's surprise.

Scrying doesn't show up in the Jugdral games from what I can remember, but it does show up in the Fuyuki and Oosawa Mangas (iirc), so I brought it in here as well.

Next Chapter - Dragons