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Chapter 33
Loose Cannon
"I don't know who's crazier—the blue-haired freak beyond that door, or you two with the brilliant idea of asking her for help," a vexed Vi glances at the swordsmen behind her as they walk down a dark, narrow corridor.
"You don't have to come along," Riven responds.
"Yeah, right…and let you guys slip up, allowing her to get away? No thanks. I want to be right there, ready to plant this right in her face the moment she tries something," balling an oversized fist. "The same goes for you! I know you're supposed to be 'rehabilitated' and all, but you aren't all too different from her if you think about it."
"If you have something to say, say it head-on," the Exile growls.
The Enforcer ceases her steps, and turns around, pointing a mechanical finger at her. "Your kill-count is right up there with hers! Maybe you've changed, maybe you haven't. All I know is that I am not going to allow you to mess up again!"
Heated glares meet each other in a sudden spout of tension. With both women being wielders of giant weapons, each with a knack for making a mess with them, the intensity creates the feeling that the hallway might erupt at any moment.
"Enough, Vi. We have a job to do," Caitlyn intervenes, looking over her shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah. I just don't recall babysitting in the job description when I signed up."
"Quite. After all, I've been having to do just that for years now."
Vi returns to the Sheriff's side, and the remark clicks in her head. "Hey! You knew what you were getting yourself into when you asked me to join!"
The two begin bantering about their partnership, and Riven catches up to the mercenary-knight.
"I'm already having reservations about your plan," she clutches her sword tightly, a nerve struck.
"Try to endure it a little longer. We've stepped into some sensitive territory with them, too," Ephrial takes the situation in as a whole. "Who knows…maybe you two might even wind up getting along," he shrugs.
The ex-soldier gives him an unamused look. "Is that an attempt at humor?"
"We're here," the Sheriff announces.
"Alright, Cait. You play good cop, I'll play bad cop," Vi launches her fist into her palm.
"Remember, we are here to try to obtain her assistance, not to assault her."
"Speak for yourself."
The party passes through a pair of large doors, with another set just after them. As the steel barriers open way, the dim scenery becomes brightly lit. A small room is revealed, with a single table in the middle. On the opposite side is a huge threat to the city in a small package. Sitting in front of them is the blue-haired maniac known as Jinx, a criminal wanted for more charges than can be counted.
Her arms are crossed, staring at all those that enter, especially Vi. The Loose Cannon is bound by heavy chains clasped around her wrists and ankles, barely small enough to fit her skinny physique. She is dressed in black and white stripes; prison clothes that are about one size too big. While not mandatory, the matching hat rests on her head upon her own request. With a scowl on her face, she sits silently, waiting while impatiently tapping her finger on her arm.
"Alright, Jinx. Let's get this over with," Caitlyn slaps down an overfilled folder that has been wrapped with twine to keep from spilling.
"I'm not talking until I have my lawyer!" the twin-tailed menace revolts.
"You think you have a choice!? Listen here you little—!" Vi explodes.
"You don't have to answer that!" Jinx suddenly raises a sock-covered arm, mimicking mouth movements with her hand, and speaking in an exaggeratedly deep voice.
"Tsk! There you are!" speaking in her natural tone again.
The Enforcer gives her a funny look, and becomes more infuriated with her antics. "Alright, kid! Your little sock puppet looks thirsty. How about I offer it some punch!" raising a mechanical fist.
"That's enough," Caitlyn stops Vi, then turns to Jinx. "Do you know why we are here?"
The crazed girl exchanges looks with her pretend attorney, which gives her a nod. Jinx switches back to the officers, "Well, it isn't for a cup of tea, that's for sure."
Piltover's Sheriff pulls out the invoice she had received from Ephrial, placing it flatly on the desk, and slides it over to Jinx on the other side. "Why attack these places?"
Glancing at the paper, "Pfffft. I don't know. You tell me, 'Detective'. Do I look like the kind of girl that makes a list?"
"Do you have a partner we don't know about?"
"Spare me the twenty questions—I know why you're here," rolling her eyes. "You need my help, don't you?" an impishly sharp grin carves its way on her face.
The officers look at her in moderate surprise. They are used to her always being one step ahead, but she still manages to shock them, even after being arrested.
"Come ooooon, admit it!" Jinx continues. "The large, intimidating file, like I care what I did? Dragging me into an 'interrogation', as if that's going to go anywhere? The 'Exiled One' and the Newbie over there in the corner? And look! You two even ditched the uniforms and put on the clothes from back when we first met! It's like a family reunion, with some plus-ones!"
"This approach was never going to work, even without Riven and I being present," the mercenary-knight speaks, arms folded in patient observation. "She's crazy; not stupid. We should probably stop treating her as such."
"Thaaank yooou," Jinx displays slightly exaggerated, but honest appreciation.
"Since when did you become a criminal expert?" Vi turns around, feeling trespassed."
Jinx begins making funny faces at Vi behind her back, alternating between various expressions and looks every few seconds.
"Probably by the time I was her age," Ephrial implies the lesser-known part of his past. "People only do extreme things out of ambition of some form. Otherwise, there's no reason to go out of one's way to do what they do. In Jinx's case, she's always been forthright about it. Her motivation is self-entertainment, as you two are no doubt familiar with."
"Quit stating the obvious and get to the point!" impatience stirs.
"Tracking down the unpredictable is a different story, which is where she comes in. However, as with most people, there needs to be an incentive to trigger some sort of cooperation."
"Hold on. Are you saying we should let her blow up a building just so she would help us out!?"
"Not quite."
Vi turns back to Jinx, who is caught sticking her tongue out at her. She quickly retracts it, and looks innocently at the ceiling.
"What is it you propose then?" Caitlyn rests her hand on her hip.
"The proposition is not mine to make," Ephrial looks at Jinx.
A Chained Cannon looks at each of them in silence a moment, then leans over to her side. She begins whispering back and forth with her sock puppet, covering their 'conversation' with her other hand, and briefly pausing to look at the others again before continuing.
Vi slams her knuckles into the steel table with a loud bang, cratering the metal into a cast of her fist.
Jinx breaks away from her puppet and clears her throat. She straightens her posture, holding a position of refinement and poise, as if mocking a noble. "I will help you free of charge."
"Wait, wha—" the Enforcer, taken by the unexpected answer.
"On two conditions!"
"…Do you even know what 'free' means!?"
"Well, I had to make it dramatic somehow! Duh!"
"All right, spit it out. What do you want?" Caitlyn asks.
"First condition! I demand the immediate release of Fishbones, with full pardon to all his crimes, past and future!"
"You mean that annoying rocket launcher of yours? No way!" Vi snaps.
"Hey, you have your partner, he has his," pointing at her, then Ephrial. "I'm outnumbered here!"
"Forget it! The only way you're getting that lame shark back is after I gut it and let you have what's left!"
Jinx gives a long, exaggerated gasp. "You wouldn't! Well, you would. And just like that, I'm not helping!" crossing her arms, and turning her head away in a stuck-up manner of defiance.
"I'll give you five good reasons to change your mind!" ready to clobber her again.
"We can have the boys back at the lab disable it, making sure it does not pose a threat."
Vi snorts, lowering her arm in reluctance.
"What is your second condition?" the Sheriff demands.
"You two have to call me 'Super Mega Bullet Master' from now on!" pointing at the officers.
"What the hell kind of condition is that!" Vi erupts again.
"Those are my client's conditions, and we're sticking to them!" poor sock-ventriloquism at work.
"Why aren't they supposed to call you that!?" extending a hextech palm at the two swordsmen.
"You're the reason I'm locked up here, and they're the reason I'm being set free! Doy!"
"Let's get this straight right now. You are, by no means, being set 'free'. You will remain in our custody the entire time, and you will be deposited in the maximum-security penitentiary as soon as this is over," Caitlyn says, coldly.
"Fiiiiiiiine!" an overemphasized sigh.
"As soon as you step out of line, just once, say good-bye to all your teeth!" Vi leans in.
"Ah-ah-ah!" Jinx wags a finger. "'Say good-bye to all your teeth,' what?" pushing for her new title.
"You can't be serious…"
"No. No, I can't," she rests her chin on her hand in a carefree manner, speaking with a likewise tone. "Why are you so serious all the time?"
Piltover's Enforcer grits her teeth, locking a death stare with her grinning rival.
"Now that that's out of the way, tell us what you know. You're clearly more aware of the situation than we had previously thought," Ephrial moves things forward.
Reddish eyes of insanity turn to the inquiring mercenary. "Well, I know whoever is responsible for these pathetic displays used me as their scapegoat."
"Are you saying we caught you by…mistake?" Caitlyn's expression changes.
"Well, of course! C'mon, you think you would have caught me that easily? Pffft. It was a fluke!"
"So that's why you're willing to aid us. Payback, is it?" Ephrial states.
"Hey, we had a nice game of 'catch me if you can' going on, and they had to come along and ruin it!" referring to the seemingly endless chase between her and Piltover's Finest. "Besides, revenge is best served face-to-face, right, Hot Stuff?"
The mercenary-knight ignores what could either be a reference to his fiery blade and business with Warwick, or a personal advance. "Where do we begin?"
She promptly holds out her shackles in front of the officers, tilting her head in a pout. Caitlyn sighs, taking out a key, and releases her, against every instinct she has as a policewoman. Jinx rubs her wrists, puppet lawyer still attached.
"Alright, now the kickers!" stretching her feet outward.
"No way!" Vi objects. "You're lucky you're not coming along tied up in a straightjacket and muzzle!"
"If we're going to get her out unseen, we should depart now," the Sheriff looks at the hextech clock on the wall.
"Eh, that clock's five minutes ahead," looking at the watch she had built in one of her gauntlets. "We still have time to further our arrangements…" Vi threateningly flexes her mechanical digits at Jinx.
"The earlier, the better."
"Come on, people! Let's get this show on the road!" an enthusiastic menace pops up from her chair, and starts toward the door.
"Hold it, twerp!" Vi grabs her by one of her braids. "We can't just let you walk out of the station looking like you just broke out!"
"I am breaking out, Fathands! In fact, you two are my accomplices!"
"You're going undercover, and for that, you've got to look the part. And I've got something special in mind just for you…" Vi grins at her, a turn of pace that unsettles Jinx.
"Let's get going," Caitlyn opens the doorway.
Jinx takes her hair back, and takes a few steps toward the exit. She stops a brief moment, as if forgetting something, and takes off her pretend lawyer. With a slight toss, the prison-striped sock lands on the battered table. She shapes her hand like a gun, and takes a phantom shot at it, blowing away invisible smoke right after.
"You're fired."