A Different Kind of Pacifist

by nightelf37

Instead of an innocent unarmed child, a seasoned young adult equipped with the greatest weapon and armor humanity has left thanks to the Tasen enters Mt. Ebott. Like the child, this adult refuses to kill. Unlike the child, this only extends to a personal level. How much will change? How much will stay the same? This is a writing experiment. Rated T for casual mention of death.

2. Out of the Bonfire, Into the Cooler

Disclaimer: Iji belongs to Daniel Remar, and Undertale belongs to Toby Fox.

Trivia: I beat The Undying and lost only 12 times in the process. Although I did have the benefit of watching previous Let's Plays by Russ Money and Jacksepticeye. Also, Doggo has Riddoch syndrome.

nightelf37: These will come up every chapter. I won't count the Gold or other stats.

Phone Inventory:

Beans Can, Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Faded Ribbon, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

This one however won't and is simply a reference for what Iji has here.

Iji's Nanofield

LEVEL: 50, HEALTH: 10, ATTACK: 7, ASSIMILATE: 10, STRENGTH: 10, TASEN: 10, KOMATO: 10, CRACK: 10

All Supercharges Collected, All Weapons (exc. Null Driver) Collected, Scrambler Not Acquired, Jump Upgrade, Armor Upgrade Level 3, Nanofield Reset Learned

---

Iji exited the previous room, thankful it was finally over. On the bright side, she ran into quite a few monsters and earned quite a bit of gold. In regards to healing, it turns out the Vegetoids were a good source and were willing to part with some of their body once they agreed to spare her. She was hesitant at first, but found out that for sentient plants, they tasted okay.

Somehow, the stick that she had used to poke the first Vegetoid she saw was still in her hand. She stored it in her phone, if only to see if it worked.

The room she was in now seemed to be a hallway with a fork to the left. There were also leaves both green and red, the latter scattered in the left-hand path. Up ahead, she could see a sleeping Froggit snoring softly next to what seemed to be a doorway to a balcony. As she wasn't the type to look for a fight, she bypassed it.

She walked into the balcony, her open agape as she stared into the skyline. Building after building, row after row of streets, an entire city laid before Iji, exposing all of its glory. It was a magnificent sight as the stone ceiling was carved upwards to mimic the sky above.

The sight made her think of how things were on Earth before the Alpha Strike.

She gazed into the city streets, noting that there were much fewer monsters in it than what the city suggested. Parts of the city were crumbling into the streets, while others fell on top of each other. In other words, the city was abandoned. It saddened Iji, and as she turned away, she took notice of a knife on the floor.

Upon closer inspection, the knife was actually a plastic toy. For some reason, she decided to pick it up and put it away in her phone. Upon exiting the balcony, she saw the Froggit was awake, but did not make any move to attack. Thankful for that, and feeling a little tired, she walked to the fork marked by the red leaves. If the next room didn't lead to Toriel's place, she was going to have to make camp.

The next room had a black leafless tree with red leaves all over its base. Iji couldn't tell if it was dead or if that's what trees are like in the Underground. Past the tree was a cute and tidy house, made with the same brick as the rest of the ruins. above the doorway was a sign that read Home.

And there was a familiar figure coming her way. "Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would."

Toriel walked to one side of the tree and was about to call Iji when she realized that she was already here.

"Iji! I was just about to fetch you."

"Well, I'm here now," the human replied.

"That you are. Please come inside."

---

Iji's nose was assaulted with the scent of pie as soon as she entered the doorway with Toriel, making her stomach grumble. She hadn't eaten any of her rations so far, and it looks like she might not need to tonight. Or was it today? She remembered packing a wristwatch, and planned to put it on later, not having put them on before for reasons regarding her Nanofield.

Before her was a simple room. There were two doorways on both sides, and some stairs with a guardrail leading downwards to who knows where. In the upper right corner of the room was a small bookshelf with an unlit candle. A vase with some flowers sat in the opposite corner while a mirror hung over the stairs. The ground had wood flooring and the room was painted a pale tan.

"Do you smell that?" Toriel asked. Iji nodded, causing her to smile. "Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie!"

So that's why she asked. Probably forgot to ask her other question before hanging up the first time.

"I thought we might celebrate your arrival; I want you to have a nice time living here…So I will hold off on snail pie tonight."

Ugh. Snail pie?! I'd rather try escargot again!

Toriel chuckled at Iji's scowl as she led her guest down the right-hand hallway and to the door of a simple room. The hallway was painted a soft yellow, and various potted plants like water sausages and some red flower she can't recall the name of were scattered throughout the hallway. Small, unlit candles were attached to the wall at various points of the room, and an oriental rug hugged the ground underneath Toriel.

"Here's your room," she said as she opened the door. "I'm sorry if it's a little small." Her hand instinctively went to Iji's shoulder and she rubbed it. And then her nose twitched as she sensed something. "Is something burning? Um, make yourself at home!" And she ran off to the other hallway, which was more like a living room and presumably to the kitchen, probably to save the pie.

This left Iji to contemplate on the day so far. Should she keep trusting Toriel? After all, Flowey attempted to kill her after looking so friendly. Maybe this was a long-term trap. She hoped that wasn't the case. With that, she entered the room, and saw truth in Toriel's words.

It was a room fit for a small child and was painted red. A small bed with a box of toys sat in front. Next to the bed was a small cabinet. A red rug adorned the floor. Two lamps sat in the room, one next to the bed and the other on the opposite side near a chest of toys. There was also a shoe rack that held kid-sized footwear. On top of that was a very dusty and empty photo frame.

Fatigue caught up to Iji, especially after that confusing previous puzzle, as well as the hike up Mount Ebott to find the hole leading to this place. Immediately, she took off her satchel, set it on the floor next to her bed, and crashed for the night. Just in case she might be attacked in her sleep, she also took out the Nanogun from its holster and cradled it in her arms.

As she slept, she recollected past events. From life before the Alpha Strike, to her long battle against both Tasen and Komato before finally convincing them to stop destroying Earth completely, and what had happened after.

Sometime after the Tasen invasion and the destruction of much of her world, after convincing the Komato that followed them (to exterminate the Tasen) to leave them be, humanity began to rebuild, and worked with the few Tasen that have remained. A truce managed to form between the two races, and over time relations became more amicable.

During the rebuilding process, while she, Dan, and some of the Tasen she befriended visited a surviving village, they discovered legends telling of another race on Earth; the Monsters of Mount Ebott. According to the tales, they and humans lived together long ago, before war broke out between them. The humans had won, and (back when they still had magic) sealed the monsters underground. There has been some heated debate between Iji's group and the villagers, but it was decided that Iji should check it out, despite the legends also saying that those who climb the mountain never return.

Iji had decided if she wasn't back in a month, they would send a search party after her. When they were asked why a month, Dan rationalized that if the monsters Underground were still present, they would likely have a society of their own, and that means Iji would probably be busy making negotiations there.

Now that she was finally here, now that she had proof that they still survived and were making a living here, she had to know where their leader is so she can talk to them. She hoped Toriel would be supportive of her decision.

---

Iji awoke to the smell of pie. As she got up from her small bed, she looked around to see if anything has changed. Thankfully, none of her stuff seems to have been taken, though the ambient light in her room was now dimmed. There was a plate in the middle of the rug, though, and it held a slice of what must be the butterscotch-cinnamon pie. And there was a note that came with it, too.

Food items stored in the phone will remain in the same condition as you have inserted them in. Useful, right? -Toriel.

Indeed, it was. Still feeling hungry, but feeling she should be presentable while inside another's home, Iji searched her satchel for a change of clothes. While the Nanofield can protect from most forms of damage, it still can't protect from climates, illnesses, or stains. Unfortunately, that means unless Dan knows how to deactivate it temporarily, any form of surgery is out the window.

Along with a watch, she took out a dark gray shirt with a blue stripe across it, long light gray sleeves, and a dark green collar, extra socks, and another pair of black pants, longer than the ones she had now, which—come to think of it—were more like long shorts than pants, to be honest. She'd have to ask later if there was a bathroom or a means of washing clothes.

A couple minutes later, she had changed her clothes, put away her old ones in a plastic bag, and even decided to put on the Faded Ribbon she found; loose hair can potentially be dangerous if left unkempt. She was just too busy surviving back then (Mia's ribbons, hallucinations as they were, were too short), and didn't feel like doing so after getting the Komato to leave. Now that she was in the fray again, she can't have it getting in the way, but she didn't feel like having a haircut either, so she decided to use the ribbon to tie her hair into a ponytail. Maybe it looked ridiculous, maybe not, but Toriel didn't seem to be the type who minded. The Nanofield covered her entire body, and extended itself to cover whatever clothing she puts on, so there were no worries of not being ever able to get out of the clothes she had woken up in after the Alpha Strike, or of what she's wearing from suffering damage.

Leaving her room, and carrying all her stuff with her, she then made her way to the house's living room. It also seemed to be a dining room, judging by the table was set up at one end of the room for two adults and a child, a decorate plant on top. Toriel was sitting on a brown armchair next to the golden fireplace, wearing a pair of reading glasses and holding a book about snails in her hands. A warm bookshelf remained next to the fireplace with some tools for tending the fire in the corner.

"I see you're awake, Iji," Toriel greeted. "I believe it's time for dinner."

As she made to get up however, Iji said, "Actually, maybe I should cook instead. I'm still not accustomed to monster food just yet if there's a difference between it and human food, and—kind as you are—I'd want to trust my own food for now."

"Believe me, our food is safe for humans to eat."

"Oh, right." Toriel had apparently taken care of other humans, children, before I came here. Of course she would know. "But, maybe you'd like to give human food a try? I brought some with me when I came here."

The monster seemed to contemplate this. "Hmm…maybe a few bites won't hurt. Allow me to do the cooking, though. It's safer to use fire magic."

"So you use magic here?"

"Of course." Toriel closed the book and took off her glasses as she got up from her chair. "Don't humans have magic, too?"

Iji shook her head. "No. Not anymore, at least."

"I see. Well, let's get started."

---

Making dinner had been interesting. Food like burgers, eggs, milk, hero sandwiches, steak, instant noodles, and ice cream existed in the underground, but canned food that wasn't for pets was a sight for Toriel. There was even some pie left over, and the two were now at the table, eating together. As they ate, Iji noticed that the pie seemed to seamlessly dissolve into her mouth and rejuvenate her somewhat, though she pegged it on Toriel's skills. She had also taken a history book from the bookshelf and so far was at the following passage:

Trapped behind the barrier and fearful of further human attacks, we retreated. Far, far into the earth we walked, until we reached the cavern's end. This was our new home, which we named… Home. As great as our king is, he is lousy with names.

They talked about a couple of things, including the barrier that kept them here, but because they had little in common, it wasn't long before Iji decided to talk about what happened on the surface. She began though with a question. "Toriel, this may be a strange question, but… " The Tasen's Alpha Strike hit the entire planet, so it must have affected Mt. Ebott and by extension the entire Underground. "Has anything strange happened within the past seven months or more?"

Toriel thought about this. "Now that you mention it, a huge earthquake hit here. So many monsters, including myself, had been scared when it happened. However, despite that, none of the tunnels seem to have collapsed unto themselves. Only in the old city is there proof that it happened at all, and it has long since been falling apart."

"Whoa. That must've been a miracle."

"Or maybe the barrier that traps us here also protected this mountain. Why do you ask?"

"Well…"

Iji explained what life had been before the Tasen Alpha Strike, and covered her entire story, starting with what the last scientists of the D.C.M.F.P.R. Research Facility did to her while she was in a coma before they died, continuing with her discovery that it had not been just the Facility that got hit but the entire planet, that she did not (personally) take a single life as he marched through all the soldiers trying to kill her, to make it to their leaders so they could leave, and getting herself tangled in the Tasen's last stand with the Komato. Starting from her awakening to finally getting Tor to call off the Komato, all of this happened in the span of two days.

Toriel shed a few tears when she heard the parts of her reunion and rescue of her brother Dan. Once she regained her composure, she asked why was Iji down here in the first place. The human's answer: find the monsters in this mountain, and negotiate peace between them and humans. By this point, dinner was done.

"That means I'll have to go to the Underground's leader—I think it's a king—and talk to him," she finished. "If it's too much to ask you to take me to him, could you at least lead the way?"

However, the reaction she got wasn't what she expected. Toriel expression had turned dark, as if what Iji had said offended her in some way. The monster refused to look at her and—after a few seconds of silence—said, "…I have to do something. Stay here." And with that, she got up from her seat, and made her way out of the living room, but not into the kitchen.

Iji thought something was suspicious and got up as well to go after her, seeing the monster head down the stairs leading down. She vaulted over the guardrail to close the distance further. Ahead, she could see that the stairs led to a long hallway, grading purple brick lining it. Toriel had stopped, seemingly allowing her to catch up. "Toriel! What's going on?"

Fire magic seemed to radiate off of the monster. "You wish to know how to get to the king, do you not?" For the first time, she sounded dangerous. "Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. A one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I'm going to destroy it."

What?!

"Nobody will ever be able to leave again. Now be good and go upstairs." And then she continued down the hallway.

Iji was extremely offended. The Tasen and Komato in general had treated her as insignificant because she was a human. Now Toriel was treating her like someone who needs sheltering from danger, despite the independence she displayed, despite the life story she confided to her. "Toriel!" she yelled as she followed. "I just told you why I came here! and you're going to stop me? Why?!"

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate," Toriel replied as the continued down the hall, not once looking back. "I see it again and again. They come. They leave. They die. You naive human… If you leave the Ruins… that king you seek… Asgore… will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? …go to your room."

"Don't treat me like a child, Toriel! What I told you at dinner was no exaggeration! What makes you think he even can when all those others couldn't?! I can convince him!"

Toriel did not dignify that with a response as the two reached a left-turn corner. "Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning," she said as she turned it.

Iji turned the corner as well and saw a large double door slightly less than twice as tall as Toriel. The air felt heavy, and she wasn't sure if it was from being this far underground. Beyond, she could sense cold air, almost like winter.

As the two finally stopped there, Toriel said, "You want to leave so badly?" Iji could sense the feeling of betrayal. "Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself… Prove to me you are strong enough to survive the world of monsters." Slowly, she turned around, her narrowed eyes sending a shivers down Iji's spine. Suddenly something in her paw sparked, her paw catching ablaze, a fiery glow in her eyes. And then Iji's SOUL glowed.

NO! I'm not going to fight Toriel! Iji marched straight for the door, intending to open it and go right past. Toriel wasn't like the others. Not like Krotera. Not like Asha. Not like Iosa. Not even like Tor. Toriel wasn't going to kill her, just try to scare her off. But after everything she's been through, a pyrokinetic monster wasn't that threatening. Even if her Nanofield was all but useless in this battle.

Toriel waved an arm and summoned a slew of fireballs from her hands in an attempt to dissuade the Human Anomaly and hurled them at her.

As she powered through them, Iji realized that when her SOUL gets hit, she gets a moment of invincibility, just like when her Nanofield's Health takes a hit either from Armor depletion or a Nanoweapon explosive. Bypassing Toriel and reaching the door, she made to push them open, but the monster grabbed her by the waist, proving to be also strong physically and hurled her back to the other end of the hallway.

Rolling as a result of that throw, Iji shortly got to her feet and started walking again to the door. Once again, as she made to push them open, and once again Toriel made to grab her. But this time, Iji kept her at bay by pushing her away with a leg. The doors began to creak open, but suddenly a huge explosion of fire sent her flying back again to the hallway.

As she got up, sorely hurt, Iji checked her phone…and saw that out of the 56 HP she had, she was down to 14! Toriel must be much stronger than the monsters she's faced so far to inflict this much damage. Still, she had to make a point here. To turn back was to give up. On talking to the king. On leaving the Underground. On seeing the surface, ruined as it was from the Alpha Strike. On seeing Dan again. And she'll be damned if she was going to let that happen.

Her energy sapped, Iji tried yet again to approach Toriel, weathering through her next fire attack. "What are you doing?" the monster whispered to herself, summoning up more fireballs in her palm and launching them at Iji in an erratic pattern. Well, not erratic, but they certainly made to weave left and right, making them difficult to evade.

It wasn't worth living if she was going to be stuck here forever, but for some reason, Iji trusted Toriel wasn't going to kill her. She decided to stand her ground; if opening the door and bypassing Toriel altogether was not an option, she would have to take advantage of Toriel's kindness—as bad as she would feel doing it—and hold her position. Not once did she decide to take out her Nanogun and fire a warning shot.

"Attack or run away!" Toriel launched more fireballs, which Iji started dodging, but some of them managed to hurt her further. After which, the rest of them immediately disappeared.

This confused Iji, as no other attack of Toriel's had done this. Still, she stayed her eyes on the monster.

"What are you proving this way?" Toriel's voice cracked as she unleashed yet more fireballs…but they purposely moved away from the human as soon as they almost made to hit her.

If Iji checked her phone, she would see that her HP has gone down to 3.

"Fight me or leave!" More fireballs.

"No." Iji decided to stay in place and keep her stare level at Toriel as her attacks moved out of her way.

"Stop it." Toriel said firmly.

The human took a step forward. The next fireballs continued to move out of her way.

"Stop looking at me that way," the monster averted her eyes while saying it.

Another step. More fireballs avoiding her SOUL.

"..."

Iji decided not to push her luck any further and stopped where she was. It wasn't like she could do this over if her next move turned out to be a mistake. (1)

"… …" Toriel turned her entire face away, her stern expression turning into a sad one.

It made Iji feel very guilty, even as the monster finally stopped hurling fireballs.

" I know you want to go home, but…"

What? I didn't say anything about going home? Iji was puzzled, but let Toriel continue.

"But please… Go upstairs now. I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but… We can have a good life here. Why are you making this so difficult?"

Could it be that all the humans that came before me were children, and they underwent the very same ordeal as I am? Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't I say a word?

"Ha ha… Pathetic, is it not? I cannot save even a single human." From her tone, it was obvious that Toriel was weary and tired from re-experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak.

Hopeful that Toriel wouldn't attack anymore, Iji approached Toriel until they were close enough for a hug. She wanted to know just how much was burdening her. "Toriel, just how many—"

But the monster cut her off. "No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down there. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations… My loneliness… My fear… For you… I will put them aside."

And with that, Iji's SOUL stopped glowing. The human immediately moved to give Toriel a hug.

"I guess I was reminded of all the loss I felt that I forgot you were a capable adult instead of a helpless child," she continued, her hands now glowing green as she cast curative magic on Iji, restoring her HP. "I had also forgotten you still have a family to go back to, and that it would be cruel of me to force you to leave them behind, not to mention selfish. If you truly wish to leave the Ruins… I will not stop you. However, when you leave… please do not come back. I hope you understand."

"I do." And then they broke off from their hug.

"Goodbye, Iji."

Before Toriel could walk away, Iji grabbed her hand to stop her. "Toriel."

"Hm?"

"About King Asgore. Is there any advice you can give me? Anything at all?"

"…No. I'm sorry."

Iji shortly let go and saw Toriel walk on, turning the corner, leaving the Human Anomaly standing alone with her thoughts as she sorted them and her emotions out.

It took her a few minutes before she was ready to go. She needed to reach Asgore. Surely he'd be more understanding than the alien leaders she tried talking with long before. And as for the barrier, she hoped her Nanogun's strongest weapon, the Veloci—no, the Massacre, would be able to tear it down. Just how strong was the barrier, anyway? I mean, even if it survived the Alpha Strike, surely that's mostly thanks to the mountain itself, right? and even if it did, surely another blow would finally break it, right?

Shaking off her doubts and facing the door, she pushed them open wide…and saw a very long hallway. Steeling herself, and taking out her Nanogun in case another monster was waiting, she marched forward in silence. I will return one day, Toriel.

It took a long time, but she finally made it to the end, where she found herself in a room similar to where she first met Flowey and Toriel. And to her mild surprise, Flowey indeed was there.

"Clever. Verrrryyy clever," it said condescendingly. "You think you're real smart, don't you? In this world, it's kill or be killed."

Iji scowled upon hearing that. It was very "social Darwinistic". She didn't kill when she woke up; she wasn't going to start now.

"So you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person. Hee hee hee…" It then frowned. "I bet you feel pretty great. You didn't kill anybody this time."

Damn right, she didn't. And without going technical about it either.

"But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer? You'll die and you'll die and you'll die. Until you tire of trying."

Iji decided it was time to talk back. "You really think that little of me?"

"What will you ty to do then?" Its face then turned monstrous. "Will you kill out of frustration?"

I won't, and I never will. Though Krotera had been was killed by Vateilika, Sentinel Proxima was a machine and its artificial stupidity killed itself anyway, Iosa was killed by Ansaksie, Asha killed himself after she avoided him altogether, and Tor also committed suicide after she beat him. What if there will be no outside circumstances next time? What then? She hadn't thought of that.

"Or will you give up entirely on this world…and let me inherit the power to control it? I am the prince of this world's future."

Wait, what?

"Don't worry, my plan isn't regicide. This is so much more interesting." Its face then expanded and it laughed maniacally before shrinking back and Flowey retreated down into the soil.

If left Iji deep in thought again. What's going on here? What have I gotten myself into? Dammit. Only one way to find out. She moved forward, past Flowey's spot, and into the doorway ahead.

---

Phone Inventory:

Beans Can, Canteen, Spider Donut, Stick, Toy Knife, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Once Iji made it to the other side, what she saw took her breath away. Ahead of her was a snow trail, there was a large bush to her left, and the trees were clumped too close to each other for her to pass through. She could blaze a trail with her Nanogun, but she needed to conserve the ammunition.

How does this even work? What is the extent of monster magic? Iji thought as she checked the bushes for any ambushers, only to see what looked like a surveillance camera. What? What is this doing here? Who's watching me? But there was nothing she could do about it, so she decided to leave it be and walk along the trail.

Along the way, she found a huge branch. She passed it by, but not 15 steps later, she heard a noise. She didn't know what it was, but when she turned around, the branch had been broken. Feeling a little tense, Iji walked a little faster, but it took only a while before that sound happened again. More alert this time, she took out her Nanogun as she reached what seemed to be a wooden fence meant to keep out intruders…only they were wide enough for a child to pass through, and low enough for Iji to jump straight over. It also spanned a small chasm with only a plank bridge without any guardrails as a means to walk across.

Before she could think about doing that, a voice came up right behind her.

"Human," a masculine voice said. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

How did it sneak up on me with all that snow? And so fast, too! Iji swiftly turned around and aimed her Nanogun at…a short and big-boned skeleton with a perpetual grin on his face and small white circles for eyes. He wore an unzipped blue hoodie, a white t-shirt or sweater (or was that his ribcage she was looking at?), black shorts with white stripes, and a pair of pink bedroom/bathroom slippers.

The skeleton seemed to be unfazed with the weapon aimed straight for his face. Maybe he doesn't know what it does, but she refused to believe he was that naive. Maybe he's confident in his ability to dodge or otherwise negate her attack, not that she would pull the trigger. Maybe he knows she wouldn't go through with it. Or maybe she was worrying too much about Asgore and Flowey.

In any case, the skeleton extended a hand, which didn't look at all like a skeleton's. Then again, he was probably a monster and thus can get away with not being all akin to a skeleton.

Iji decided she should take it. If he was friendly, not taking it would be rude. If he wasn't, they'd start fighting, and she didn't want that. Noticing he was extending his left, she lowered her Nanogun and did the same. The moment their hands tightened in their grip… the sound of a whoopee cushion came out. The ridiculousness of the sound managed to put a small smile in her face.

"heheh… the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick," he said. "it's always funny."

"Yeah," Iji found herself agreeing as they broke off and the skeleton put his hands back to his pockets. "I guess it is."

"anyways, you're a human, right? that's hilarious. i'm sans. sans the skeleton."

"Iji. Iji Kataiser."

"im actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now."

Iji immediately aimed her Nanogun at Sans again.

"but… y'know… i dont really care about capturing anybody."

"Oh?" She didn't quite believe him.

"now my brother, papyrus… he's a human-hunting FANATIC. hey, actually, I think that's him over there." Iji turned to where Sans was looking, but saw no other living beings, skeletal or otherwise. "i have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone."

The two walked through the gate, Iji still feeling a little weird as she ducked along the way.

"quick, behind the…uhh, stand over there."

Indeed, in the area, there seemed to be what looked like a sentry guard's station filled with condiment bottles (the type for hotdogs), a lamp conveniently shaped like a human child, and two small bushes filled with snow. After returning her Nanogun to its holster, Iji made a dive for the station. Shortly thereafter, she heard the footsteps of another person coming to this area.

"sup, bro?" Sans greeted whoever came.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S 'SUP,' BROTHER!" an exuberant male voice came. "IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!"

Iji risked a peek and saw what must be Sans' brother, Papyrus, who was a tall, perhaps anatomically inaccurate skeleton with a skull shaped in a straighter and more geometrical structure (in contrast to his brother's more rounded skull). His mouth seemed to be in a smile shape most of the time and his eyes are pupil-less, resembling vertical slits, and 'pseudo-brows' to emulate expressions. He was wearing a custom-made costume made up of a white torso piece with various golden trims (and embroidered with a strange symbol she barely identified from an old video game), a rough red scarf or cloth around his neck, red gloves (trimmed with gold), blue briefs with a golden belt, and long red boots. His spine, legs and arms were covered by black sleeves.

"staring at my station," Sans replied. "it's really cool. do you wanna look?"

What? gasped Iji. Sans means to betray me?!

"NO!" Papyrus refused as he stomped on the ground with his left foot. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!"

She sighed inwardly in relief. Or was that reverse psychology?

"WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY! I WILL BE THE ONE! I MUST BE THE ONE! I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!" The taller skeleton then assumed a pose as his cape fluttered in the non-existent wind. "THEN, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET ALL THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE! RESPECT… RECOGNITION! I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK, TO, BE MY, 'FRIEND'? I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING."

"hmm…maybe my station will help you," Sans suggested.

This got Papyrus stomping again. "SANS! YOU'RE NOT HELPING! YOU LAZYBONES! ALL YOU DO IS STAND AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!"

"hey, take it easy. i've gotten a ton of work done today. a skele-ton." He immediately winked at…something to his right.

Papyrus seemed incensed at the pun. "SANS!"

"come on. you're smiling."

"I AM AND I HATE IT!" He then let out a sigh. "WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME… HAVE TO DO SO MUCH JUST TO GET RECOGNITION…"

"wow, sounds like you're really working yourself… down to the bone."

That joke was funny enough (on top of the humorous exchange) that Iji was struggling not to laugh out loud.

"UGH! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES… AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE… 'BACKBONE' INTO IT!" Papyrus then let off a loud laugh, which also masked Iji's own laughter as she couldn't take it anymore. Both of them finished laughing at the same time and the tall skeleton shortly left, but not before doing one more "HEH".

Iji hadn't laughed like that for a long time. While poking Vateilika over and over and hearing her past with Yukabacera as a result was amusing, they were both inside a Komato ship during that, on top of the entire war and everything.

After a while, Sans said, "ok, you can come out now." And she did. "you oughta get going. he might come back. and if he does… you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes."

"Thanks, Sans," replied Iji as she made to leave.

Just before she could take the path Papyrus took, Sans spoke. "actually, hey. hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor? i was thinking… me brother's been kind of down lately. he's never seen a human before. and seeing you might just make his day."

"Are you sure about this, Sans?"

"don't worry, he's not dangerous. even if he tries to be."

"I think I noticed."

"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead." And with that, Sans walked…toward the path the two took earlier. When Iji looked back to the path ahead, she realized the trees were comparatively shorter, and were evergreens. And then she noticed something else. Among the trees behind Sans' station was a camera, just like in the bush from earlier. Who was watching her? Was this the kingdom's surveillance system? Shaking off those thoughts, and hoping Sans was right, she walked down the path.

---

The next area consisted of the path bending a bit to the left before going to the right again, as well as a separate path to her left, which led to a river, judging by the sound of flowing water. At the corner of the detour and the path ahead was a sign and a box.

Iji decided to examine the sign, which read, This is a box. you can put an item inside or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don't worry about coming back. Sincerely, a box lover. Hmm…is this supposed to be some sort of storage network or something? She opened the box to reveal… a pink leather glove. It was too small for her hand, but she decided to keep it anyway in her phone. As for testing it out, she decided to use the can of beans she put in her phone and put it inside the box.

She wasn't even three steps away from the box before her SOUL glowed and a native monster swooped down from the sky.

It was a giant ice blue bird, only slightly shorter than Iji. Its big head somewhat resembled a snowflake, its wings did seem a bit small to actually fly, but what really caught Iji's attention was its beak. It had several teeth here and there, but they were moving, as in the upper ones and the lower ones moved in opposite directions like they were attached to treadmills inside the monster's beak.

As if things couldn't get worse. Another monster made themselves known and strutted out from the trees to join this monster. It was a small humanoid figure made of snow with a disproportionately large head. It had large, sunken eyes and a rotating, drill-like nose. It proudly wore a Mohawk-shaped hat made of ice, which was colored like a tourmaline.

As the two posed like a duo of "bad boys", Iji proceeded to use her phone to Check each of them.

"Snowdrake. This teen comedian fights to keep a captive audience. Ice Cap. This teen wonders why it isn't named "Ice Hat"."

"Better not "snow" flake out!" said the Snowdrake as he launched boomerang-shaped projectiles that looked like feathers and either arced towards Iji or just went in straight lines as he fluttered around.

"Your head looks so… NAKED!" gasped Ice Cap as it emitted a "wave" that restricted her movements. The hits that landed on her made her feel cold as they sapped her HP.

While the attacks went on, Iji was already thinking of what to do to spare them. She decided perhaps making a joke would help… break the ice. Maybe that would work.

"If you're alone and get too cold, you might become ice-olated."

Snowdrake didn't seem to be amused. "Hey…"

Ice Cap on the other hand was, and rolled on the snowy ground. "Ha! Imitated it spot- on!"

The avian was incensed, puffed himself up, and shot more feathers, while the hat-wearer, whilst laughing, summoned top hat-like objects on the ground, which began to launch chunks of ice upwards, which of course fell back down.

Iji had to act quick and console Snowdrake. But just as she managed to think of one, a hit caused a brainfart, making her forget. Meanwhile, Ice Cap had rolled off somewhere, and dropped some gold coins.

Snowdrake decided to try again. "M… m… macaroni and "freeze"!" And then it launched more projectiles. For some reason, his attacks were more ferocious. Perhaps it was because Ice Cap was no longer there to help attack.

If joking back wasn't working for Snowdrake, maybe laughing will. And that's what she did. Honestly, his joke wasn't the best of jokes, but it was good enough.

"You have good taste! (in jokes)." he replied as he launched more projectiles as he laughed. This time, they were easier, as none of them arced and just went straight.

Iji was able to avoid getting damaged, and decided to converse again. "Hey, Snowdrake." The monster stopped laughing. "I'm not sure if you know, but if you could point me to someplace where I can camp, that would be great."

Snowdrake narrowed his eyes at her for a second, then made his answer. "I know someplace better. Snowdin isn't too far from here. Not exactly close, but it's your best bet for now. There's an inn there called the Snowed Inn." Iji scoffed at the pun, eliciting another smile from the avian monster. "Oh, but it's kind of expensive… If I remember correctly, last time I checked, their fee was 80 Gold." Snowdrake ruffled its feathers a little with its beak until it extracted a small pouch and tossed it to Iji. The human opened and saw a bunch of gold coins inside. "It's not much, but I hope it can cover part of the fee."

"Wow." Iji was a little impressed. "Are all monsters this generous?"

"You don't seem to be that bad for a human. I can't really speak for the others, though. Well, time for me to go! I need to find more people who will appreciate my puns! Take care, human!" With a last fluttering of its wings, Snowdrake retired back into the forest. And Iji's SOUL stopped glowing.

"Huh. That was interesting." Iji sighed in relief as she made her way to where she heard the flowing water.

Turns out there was a river. And there was a fishing rod affixed to the ground. Curious, Iji decided to reel it in. Attached to the hook was a photo of a weird looking monster. "Call Me! Here's my number!" it said.

It wasn't a good idea to call strangers, but since she was in unfamiliar territory, she needed to know everything she can about it and decided to actually call it. During the ringtone, Iji realized that the monster had been literally 'dropping a line', but she couldn't remember what the idiom meant. Just then, somebody answered.

"Hello?" they said. It was male.

"Um, hi."

"…Oh…my…gosh!" His next words implied his phone was away from his mouth. "I can't believe it! Somebody actually called my number! They said it wouldn't work. They said I was crazy. Let's see who's laughing now!" And he started laughing.

Iji was dumbfounded with whom she had called. Then again, it was that of a total stranger. Given general opinion on humans, she was a bit hesitant in following this path. "Um, hello?"

He stopped laughing. "Oh, right! What can I do for you, miss?"

"Shouldn't we give out our names first?"

"Right. Right. My name's Nishibi. What's yours?" (2)

"Iji."

"So, Iji, Wanna—"

"I think I get why you decided to drop a line, but I'm not exactly looking for a date."

Nishibi sounded really disappointed. "Aww…"

"But I could use some help. I need directions to…" She feigned recalling the name from Snowdrake. "…Snowdin. I'm at where you left your fishing rod."

"Well, you're a lucky gal! I, Nishibi, will relay instructions."

Realizing this may take long, even if she had a good memory, she decided to speak up. "Hold on a second." She fumbled in her satchel for something, producing a Tasen logbook Dan decided to take from the facility. He knew how to hack into them and type in English text, and he was able to teach her the same. "Ready."

---

"I hope that helps. See you at Snowdin. You know what I look like."

"I will. Bye." And the call ended. Well, that was certainly an interesting conversation.

With no other paths to go, as she put the phone and the logbook away, Iji took the one that took her past the box, and found herself confronting Sans and Papyrus in the middle of a conversation.

"SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE…" the taller of the skeletons cut himself off as he took notice of Iji. He then turned to Sans, who in turn turned to her, and then he turned to his brother, who in turn turned to her. This exchanged continued with increasing speed until they started spinning wildly before stopping to face her, then turned their backs. "SANS! OH MY GOD! IS THAT… A HUMAN?!"

Sans turned to face his brother again. "uhhhh…actually, i think that's a rock."

"OH."

Iji sneaked a peek back and indeed saw a rock right behind her. Does Sans really mess with his brother like this?

"hey, what's that in front of the rock?"

Papyrus turned to face Iji again, who stood there unassuming. "OH MY GOD!" He whispered to Sans, "IS… IS THAT… A HUMAN?"

"yes"

"OH MY GOD! SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL… I'M GONNA… I'LL BE SO… POPULAR! POPULAR! POPULAR!" Papyrus then addressed Iji as he cleared his throat. "HUMAN! YOUI SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! THEN… THEN! I'M NOT SURE WHAT'S NEXT."

Iji resisted the urge to face palm. Before she could say that what she came here to do, he was speaking again. "in any case! CONTINUE… ONLY IF YOU DARE!" He took off laughing as he ran further down the path, leaving his brother behind.

After a couple of moments of silence, Sans spoke. "well, that went well. don't sweat it, iji. I'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." And with that, he walked after his brother.

Once they were gone, following the instructions Nishibi gave her, Iji walked after them, her Tasen logbook out as she read. But just as she reached a guard station, she received a call from her phone, and answered it.

"U-uhhh… (Oh my god, help…)" The voice seemed to be that of a socially-awkward female. "I'd like to order a … Umm… A pizza…? With, uhh… The toppings are, uh… I have them copied, I'll just paste them to you." A monotone voice proceeded to spell out letters, numbers, and symbols.

Iji realized that somehow, even though the phone could not receive texts, the local network realizes it and narrated them out loud. She quickly started typing the characters in her logbook. Once she was done, as the caller put down her phone, Iji took a look at the characters that were spelled out and was surprised. From an ASCII perspective, the characters depicted a picture of an animé catgirl. And nowhere in the picture does it read any pizza toppings. It was amusing, though, so Iji decided to keep it.

Turning her attention to the guard station, which was actually a giant cardboard box cut and folded to look like the one Sans has, she saw some words on it. They read, "YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER… I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN! (NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN.)"

Chuckling to herself, having found Papyrus's station, she moved on. But not before taking note of the camera she almost missed just behind it.

---

"Aboslutely NO MOVING!" read the sign.

Iji stood stock still, standing by should something strike. After several minutes, nothing happened and she walked on. As soon as she walked in front of the sentry station, which had the image of a dog on top as well as the type of bell seen in offices on the 'desk', a furry black-and-white head popped up from behind its counter, making Iji freeze once again. Was this the one who wrote the sign? It seemed to be a dog-like monster (a Rottweiler, to be exact), his suspicious gaze darting from one place to another. Despite standing right in front of him, his eyes didn't seem to focus on her.

"Did something move? Was it my imagination?" he asked as he jumped outside of his station, revealing to be a biped, though was only a foot shorter than Iji. The monster wore a pink tank top that had the face of a white dog on its front and a pair of yellow pants that had a cheetah-dots pattern. Iji stifled a chuckle, but the canine seemed to hear it and turned to face her.

"I can only see moving things. If something was moving… For example, a human…" The dog materialized a pair of daggers. "I'll make sure it never moves again!"

And just like that, Iji's SOUL began to glow. Dammit. She flinched, then knew that the guard has seen her. Quickly, she Checked him using her phone.

"Doggo. Easily excited by movement. Hobbies include: squirrels."

"Don't move an inch!" Doggo said as he put his two daggers side to side in front of him. The blades soon began to glow light-blue and joined to form a luminous longer sword. Doggo closed his eyes and started to move it from right to left like a scanner. Against her better judgment, Iji decided to endure the blow to see how much damage she'd take. The weapon phased right through her body as if it were a ghost, but minus the chill.

So blue attacks don't hurt if I stand still. If the monster is canine, I wonder if… Her phone still out, she accessed her inventory, took out the stick, and tossed it. Much to her surprise, Doggo sheathed his daggers and ran to fetch the stick.

"HUH! A FUN STICK APPEARS!"

The two then proceeded to play fetch for a while. Iji felt really weird, thwarting who was essentially border patrol by playing fetch with them. Obviously, this would not work on all canines, but it was nice to try this out first. After a few minutes however, Doggo came out of his daze, realizing how he'd been acting. He shook his head and rapidly stood up, the stick in Iji's hands. Nervously examining the area around him, he backed up a couple of feet, Iji's SOUL fading once more. Finally, Doggo jumped back in his sentry station while mumbling to himself.

"A stick appeared out of nowhere, then disappeared. Was it a ghost stick? Did I just return it to the afterlife? I need some dog treats to think about this." And then a bag was flung from the structure, landing right in front of Iji. She took it and saw that it was a bag with 30 Gold! "Take this money and leave me alone, you- you… stick summoner!"

Iji continued to wait until Doggo's head was totally covered by the counter of his sentry station before moving. Just then, she smelled a horrible stench. It was on the left side of the path. It was a couple of reddish bones that had been burnt halfway. Ugh. He's a smoker? Geez.

---

The next area was a frozen over lake with a patch of land in the middle with a sign. There was also a path ahead, and to the left. Oh, and Sans was waiting for her.

"hey, here's something important to remember," he said. "my brother has a very special attack. if you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you."

"I think I already know that with Doggo back there."

"good for you. guess you don't need me."

"Perhaps you could tell me if anything strange happened seven months ago? Like an earthquake?"

"why do you ask?"

"Just wondering how the Underground was affected by it."

"i see. well, there was an earthquake. shook off all the snow from the trees. monsters panicked for a while. nothing special, really. we're still stuck here, though."

"So, no huge chunks of the mountain fell? The earthquake was really powerful."

"the barrier's very strong. you humans really made it to last."

"I see. I was actually thinking of turning myself over to Papyrus. I came here to speak to the king."

"I wouldn't recommend doing that, iji. papyrus hasn't had this much fun in a long time. I want it to last, so do me a favor and just humor him. besides, you don't even know much about king asgore. don't you think you can learn more about him by talking with the citizens?"

"I guess you're right. I'll entertain your brother a little while longer."

"thanks. i owe ya."

---

The detour took Iji to a cliff side with a snowman at the end. She approached it cautiously, remembering Flowey.

"Hello," it then said. "I am a snowman. I want to see the world. But I cannot move… If you would be so kind, traveler, please… Take a piece of me, and bring it very far away."

"Are you sure? It could melt long before I get there. And how will you know?"

"The snow I am made of is different from ordinary snow. It'll last. I know where every part of me is, and it can heal you for a lot if you eat it, but I'll be very disappointed with you if you do that."

"If you say so. Which part should I take?" asked Iji as she approached the snowman.

"Anything you want. Just don't take too big a chunk, though."

She put her hands into the snowman's body, and took a ball of snow as large as her fist, then stored it inside her phone.

"Thank you… good luck!"

Iji waved she snowman goodbye before going back to the lake and skidding across its surface to check the sign. Snowdin was at the east, and in all directions (including Snowdin) was Ice. With only one way to go, she went east.

But before she could do that, she felt her SOUL glow again. Seeing no enemy in front of her, she turned around, and saw another Ice Cap. This time, its hat was blue.

Last time she dealt with one, it was with a Snowdrake. Alone, she was confused in how to deal with it. Checking her phone, she saw that among her choices were Compliment, Ignore, and Steal. Given it was an attention whore, she figured that she should choose Ignore.

Noticing her turn her attention away, it said, "HELLO? My hat's up here." It tried to get her to look at it by spawning "top hats" that shoot ice chunks.

Iji wasn't inattentive, though, and easily evaded its attacks. She continued keeping Ice Cap at her peripheral vision, seeing it check if she was looking at its hat, but she wasn't going to be swayed. It didn't look that fabulous as it was making it out to be, anyway. Thought that's probably purely from her perspective.

"OK! I'll ignore you too," Ice Cap conceded as it repeated its previous attack.

Once that attack ended, Iji said, "Since we're gonna ignore each other, do you really need to stick around?" She hoped it wouldn't instead do anything drastic like demand attention in ways other than its hat.

"…Right. Take this!" Ice Cap then hurled a pouch of coins that hit Iji in the face, though it didn't even hurt thanks to her Nanofield. She was unamused either way, but it was already gone. Then again, she did outright ignore him, so he was entitled to that.

---

The next area consisted of a strange darkened square area between her and the two awaiting skeleton brothers, who were currently conversing with one another.

"YOU'RE SO LAZY!" Papyrus complained. "YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!"

"i think that's called… sleeping," Sans corrected.

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!" And that's when the two noticed that Iji was watching them. "OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU, MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE…QUITE SHOCKING!"

An electric-based trap? Wonder if my Nanofield can protect me from that?

"FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP!" In the middle of this, Papyrus procured said orb, which was made of Paraiba tourmaline. "SOUND LIKE FUN? BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALY RATHER SMALL I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW."

Well, either this will be easy, or I'm in for a real shock, Iji mused. I won't have to worry about it killing me, though; he wants to capture me alive. She marched forward, but as soon as she entered the darkened zone, she heard the sound of an electrical shock. And it was coming from Papyrus, to her puzzlement (and slight concern). It only seemed to cover him in soot, though, and he quickly shook it off.

"SANS! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" he demanded of his brother.

"i think the human has to hold the orb."

"OH, OKAY." With that, the taller skeleton walked his way to Iji…inadvertently giving her the solution to the puzzle as he approached her. And judging by his stature, he towered over her by just 5 inches. "HOLD THIS, PLEASE!" As soon as he handed the orb over, he quickly dashed back the way he came. "OKAY, TRY NOW!"

Rolling her eyes, Iji decided to march through the darkened sector, deviating from the path Papyrus "laid out". The orb delivered its promised shock, but her Nanofield kept her from harm. Apparently, this electricity wasn't magic enough to go straight through.

Papyrus was amazed as Iji made her way to his face. "INCREDIBLE! YOU WEREN'T THE SLIGHTEST BIT AFFECTED! YOU MUST HAVE NERVES OF STEEL! I'M SURE YOU AND UNDYNE WOULD GET ALONG WELL! HOWEVER, THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE AS EASILY THWARTED BY BRUTE FORCE! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" And then he moonwalked out of the area. But Sans was still here.

Iji walked over to him and handed over the orb. "Your brother forgot this."

"thanks, iji," he replied. "my brother seems like he's having fun."

"I feel like we're babysitting a younger brother."

Sans shrugged his shoulders. "well, that's because he kinda is."

"Really?"

"yeah. I'm actually the older of the two. by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing?" She nodded in response. "we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since... keeps calling it his "battle body." man... isn't my brother cool?"

"I guess he is. Well, I better keep on trudging on to Snowdin."

"good luck."

---

At the next area, Iji saw what looked like a transportable ice cream stand with a red-and-yellow umbrella. Tending to it was a light blue furred rabbit-like monster. He had a red nose and a tuft of fur sprouting from the top of his head. He wore a bright yellow short-sleeved shirt with a single, vertical red stripe in the middle, and bright red pants.

Hoping he wasn't one of those attack-on-sight monsters, she approached him and heard him mutter to himself. "I don't understand why these aren't selling… It's the perfect weather for something cold…" The second he noticed the human right in front of him, his face lit up. "OH! A CUSTOMER! Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!"

"Sure, I'll have one." Iji brought up the gold and he gave her an ice cream bar. Or should she say, a 'Nice Cream bar'.

"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!"

But she wasn't done. She did know a bit about commerce. "I got some advice for you, sir. Cold treats in cold weather don't make for good sales. Try looking for a hotter venue."

He seemed to appreciate the advice. "Thanks. I sure will."

Nodding to him farewell, Iji proceeded to the small wooden bridge just ahead. In front of her was another darkened zone, and there was a snowball. Further ahead was Sans, which was weird since she did not see him pass her by even in her peripheral vision while ordering from the Nice Cream vendor. Shrugging, she investigated further, and saw that the 'dark zone' also had a frozen lake and a hole. Putting all this together, Iji deduced that this was a game where one moves the snowball to the hole.

Deciding she could kill some time, she moved over to the snowball and nudged it. It went rolling in the direction she was facing, Already, she noticed it shrinking, and it bounced when it attempted to leave the 'dark zone', so Iji quickly got to work. Calculating the possible moves she could make, the human moved the snowball as accurately as she could, trying not to be too impatient.

A few seconds later, she shot the snowball into the hole. When that happened, a yellow flag popped up and a short tune played celebrating her victory. On top of the flag were three Gold. As she took the coins, she saw that the flag read, "YELLOW - Your sure-fire accuracy put an end to the mayhem of 'Ball.'"

As she turned her gaze to Sans again, planning to talk to him, she noticed in her peripheral that somehow the snowball was there again. What? That's weird. She wondered if she could earn more Gold in this game, considering that if she manages to Spare more and more monsters in this area, they'll stop trying to attack her and by extension, not provide her any Gold, weird as that was. Besides, the Snowed Inn's fee was 80 Gold, and who knows what other things are out there that she'd need to pay for?

Also, beneath the lump of snow next to the other snowball that was actually a snow-decahedron was yet another camera.

---

After playing a few times, (and taking a break by talking to Sans, who offered 'fried snow' he doesn't even have for 5G, 50G, 5,000G, and then 50,000G), as soon as Iji shot the snowball into the hole within ten second starting from the moment she touched it, a red flag came up this time, and a pouch sat on top. The flag read: "Bravery. Justice. Integrity. Kindness. Perseverance. Patience. Using these, you were able to win at 'Ball Game'." Inside the pouch was 50 Gold. She would later learn that a "snowball tax" is where the money comes from, and it would confuse her to no end.

That should be enough, Iji mused to herself as she claimed the pouch. She also recalled the area past Sans. It held two guard stations that looked like Doggo's, and had a small forest behind them. There was also a sign between the stations that read: Snow Smell – Snowman, WHITE Rating, Can become YELLOW Rating. Unsuspicious Smell – Puppy, BLUE Rating, Smell of rolling around. Weird Smell – Humans, GREEN Rating, Destroy at all costs! The color words were written in their respective colors except for GREEN, which was in red. Right. I think dogs are color-blind.

The next area past the Ball Game zone was a much smaller version of the "electricity maze" area. A piece of paper was in the center, and on the other side were the two skeleton brothers again. How did Sans get here so quickly?

"HUMAN! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR…" Papyrus then noticed something and yelled, "SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"

"it's right there. on the ground," the shorted skeleton pointed at it. "trust me. there's no way she can get past this one."

"We'll see about that, Sans," replied Iji as she approached the puzzle and picked it up. It read Monster Kidz Word Search. The word search contained a bear-faced ice cube named "Ice-E" and a bear-faced snowman named "Nightmare". She then rummaged her satchel for a pen, in case she ever needed to do any writing.

She solved the whole thing in 25 seconds flat, though she later noticed that one of the words she though she crossed out was misspelled, thus making the puzzle impossible to actually solve. Pocketing the pen, Iji walked over to Papyrus and handed it over to him.

After taking the solved puzzle, he scolded, "SANS! SHE SOLVED IT TOO FAST!"

"whoops," Sans replied. i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

"what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

"UN. BELIEVABLE." Papyrus then addressed Iji. "HUMAN! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE! WHICH IS HARDER?"

Seriously? He looks very incompetent for a guard. Iji didn't say those thoughts out loud, immediately came to an answer, and said, "I have a name, you know. It's Iji, and I think crossword is harder."

Papyrus wasn't satisfied. "YOU TWO ARE WEIRD! CROSSWORDS ARE SO EASY. IT'S THE SAME SOLUTION EVERY TIME. I JUST FILL ALL THE BOXES IN WITH THE LETTER "Z", BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A CROSSWORD, ALL I CAN DO IS SNORE!" He then laughed at his own joke before running off.

"papyrus… finds difficulty in interesting places," sans commented. "yesterday he got stumped trying to "solve" the horoscope."

Iji was a little puzzled. "Wow. I'm surprised Papyrus even managed to hold his position for so long. Either standards are different here, or he has personal relations with the Captain."

"i think it's the latter. from what papyrus told me, she's been his personal tutor."

"So the captain's a female, huh?"

"yup. well, you should get going."

"Yeah."

---

The next area was a small one, where there were two tables, a note, and a mouse hole. One of the tables had a plate of spaghetti. The other had an unplugged microwave. Iji approached the note first and read it.

"HUMAN!" it said. "PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI. (LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!) NYEH-HEH-HEH, PAPYRUS"

As if. Wouldn't work on me anyway. She decided to check the spaghetti anyway. It was frozen, and stuck to the table. A normal human wouldn't be able to pry this out, but Iji's Nanofield has also bestowed her with immense strength that thankfully only 'activates' when she wants it to. Placing one hand on the plate and another pressed onto the table lest she end up lifting both, she began to pull. To avoid potentially tossing it out of sight upon freeing the plate, Iji moved the whole table close to the wall with the mouse hole first.

Thankfully, the plate finally came loose with some effort, with nary a strand or sauce portion lost. Next, Iji approached the microwave. Upon closer inspection, she saw that all of the settings said "spaghetti". I wonder if monster appliances can operate standalone? After placing the spaghetti inside, she turned the knob to one of the "spaghetti settings" and waited for a minute, just to check if it was really working.

Once a full minute has passed, she opened the microwave and checked the spaghetti. It was still as frozen as ever. Welp. So much for that. I best take it with me. Taking out the phone, she added the Spaghetti to its inventory, then decided to take the microwave too.

---

The next area was yet another expanse of snow. Closest to Iji's location was a sign that read Warning: Dog Marriage (Yes, you read that correctly), which confused her to no end. Next to it was another tree… and there was yet another security camera among its leaves.

Just then, something else caught her attention. On the distance, she could distinguish a quickly growing lump of snow. She cautiously approached, wanting to figure out what it was. By the time she was close enough to touch it, it was already as tall as she was.

At the right side of the lump was a white furry dog. It wore gray, presumably metal armor with a darker gray band around the waist area. Near it was a shield leaning against one side of the hole and its top protruded from the edge. It bore the same rune as the one on Toriel's robes. This got Iji wondering. What? What hasn't Toriel told me?

There was also a sword in the dog's mouth as it furiously dug into the snow. What's it doing? Does it want to bury its weapons?

All of a sudden, a miniature avalanche buried her up to her torso. Shit. To make things worse, the dog had taken notice, stood on twos, retrieved its weapons, and was now approaching her position. She quickly dug herself out, but before she knew it, her SOUL was glowing. Knowing the usual procedure, she took out her phone to Check her opponent. "Lesser Dog. Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite." She held back a laugh from the puns.

Lesser Dog stood there panting for a while before lifting its sword, which began glowing a familiar shade of blue. The dog swung it down and two spears emerged from the ground, one blue and one white. Remembering her previous encounter, after judging the timing in which the attacks will reach her, she let the blue attack go straight through, then evaded the other spear. Lesser Dog's head was now cocked to one side.

This dog seems more dog-like than Doggo. I wonder… Once she procured the stick and waved it, Lesser Dog snapped to attention, its ears perking up and its tail wagging. Like with Doggo, the two played fetch for a while. During their play time, on occasion, a little dog made out of snow would emerge and jump right for Iji. Catching them turned out to be a mistake, as they were actually SOUL attacks, but she didn't blame Lesser Dog for it as it sank back into the snow like it was water.

By the end of the 'game'. Lesser Dog was close enough to be pet. Deciding it couldn't hurt much, she decided to do it. She only managed to lightly touch it and it already got overexcited. Its neck almost looked a little longer, too. Another snow dog came and pounced, but she evaded it fast this time.

She continued petting regardless for some reason, adoring its very soft fur. Lesser Dog's tail was wagging wildly fast and it was panting and barking a lot. And now she could tell that its neck was definitely getting longer. Spears diverged from its sword and turned around to hit Iji. She braced the blue one before dodging the white one, also taking Lesser Dog out of its path. She felt weird after that, since not once did she ever do that. The Iji who crossed the Tasen and Komato would've let the attack hit. Maybe it was the dog's cuteness, and her curiosity as to how long its neck could get. She didn't want to kill it in the process, though.

Iji continued petting and dodging attacks, and she noticed that Lesser Dog's tail was wagging faster and faster as its neck grew longer and longer. After a while, it disposed its sword and shield, clearly wanting more petting done. Eventually, it began to tower over Iji, making it extremely difficult to pet it. For a while, jumping managed to get her in range of the dog's head, but even that soon became insufficient and she had to settle for the neck. All the while Lesser Dog was making very un-doglike sounds like a revving motor, a plane taking off, and a kettle whistle.

Iji continued petting Lesser Dog still and didn't notice until it barked that it had somehow U-turned its neck so that it could come right back down to where she could reach it. Petting its head again, the petting continued until its head now reached the ground. Iji decided that was enough and she crouched down to address it.

"Uhh, Lesser Dog?" she began. The monster tilted its upside down head to show it was listening. "Weren't you doing something important before I interrupted you? Maybe we should stop here…"

Lesser Dog whined and showed them its best puppy eyes… literally, but in the end Iji's soul finally stopped glowing.

"Awww, I know." She then hugged Lesser Dog's torso, "I'll miss this too."

Lesser Dog's arms wrapped around Iji, its tail wagging at a more tranquil pace. It even adjusted its neck so that it could rest its head on Iji's shoulder. She thought it freaky, yet cute.

When they finally separated, Lesser Dog's neck retracted like a measuring tape, sound and all, startling Iji a little. After picking up its weapons, it happily barked twice and gave her a little bag with money. Then it ran ahead… even though that was not the place it had been digging in at all.

With a smile on her face, Iji continued past where she saw Lesser Dog. Ahead of her was a large patch of snow, somehow different from the rest. To the left of it was a line of spikes.

Before she could approach those, yet another Ice Cap appeared. This time, its hat was red, and it was not alone. But instead of a Snowdrake, there was what appeared to be an organic UFO-shaped monster. It had three dull-thick spikes, some black spots, very long narrow arms, four legs, two eyes on its widest portion of their body, and swollen lips. And the Ice Cap seemed to be annoyed with their companion. Iji was quick to Check the new monster.

"Everyone knows Jerry. Makes attacks 2 seconds longer."

What?

"I just loooove my hat, okay?" Ice Cap was boasting.

"Man, the wifi sucks here." Jerry sighed.

Wait, what? They still have internet here? Iji couldn't continue that train of thought as she started dodging ice chunks summoned by Ice Cap. And it seemed the phone was right about attacks lasting two more seconds. Once the attack was over, she specifically averted her gaze from Ice Cap, and scrutinized Jerry, see what it would take for her to spare him as he sneezed without making any effort at all in covering his nose. Rude.

"What? What are you doing?" Ice Cap was confused.

Jerry however didn't seem to notice or care that he was being looked at. "Guys, it's COLD. Does ANYONE care?"

He then took out some food from somewhere and ate it. It was powdery, and he began to lick his hands loudly. Meanwhile, Ice Cap tried to garner attention again with another of those ice chunk attacks.

Iji was tempted to check if her Resonance Reflector can work against monster attacks, but the presence of surveillance cameras all over the forest (and possibly beyond) told her not to reveal too much of herself for as long as she possibly can. She continued to ignore Ice Cap, keeping her attention on Jerry.

"Fine! I don't care!"

A "wave" attack came next, which was very easy to evade. And once that was over, Ice Cap decided to bail, tripping over a pebble and dropping a small pouch of Gold before getting up again and leaving. As for Jerry, he just stood there, bored and with nothing he can do to harm the opponent he was currently facing.

Iji went over to Ice Cap's dropped pouch, keeping an eye on Jerry as she retrieved them, and wondered what exactly she should do with him. He's harmless right now, but is it possible to be on good terms with him as she has with many other monsters before him? All the phone said was to Ditch him. But what was the difference between that and fleeing from him?

---

(A/N: Guess we'll never know.)

Leaving Jerry, Iji easily jumped over the line of spikes, then crossed the short wooden bridge ahead. To her right was the next area, but she found herself confronting two more canine monsters. They were near identical in appearance, both having round snouts, floppy ears, and muscular builds covered by dark hooded robes with the face of the other printed on the front. Their main differences in appearance were that one of them had a thick lowered brow, cowlick and pseudo-moustache, while the other had emphasized eyelashes. They both wielded long battleaxes, with eyes that showed features imitating those of their owners.

Once the two slowly flanked her, one of them said, "What's that smell?" Their voice was masculine.

"Where's that smell?" asked the other, their voice a deep feminine.

"If you're a smell…"

"Identify yoursmellf!"

The two then proceeded to run around her before converging on her location again. Throughout this inspection, Iji didn't move, though her stick, which was in her pocket, was ready to be used. Her phone was also in hand, ready to Check them.

"Hmmm… Here's that weird smell…" said the male. "It makes me want to eliminate."

"…Eliminate YOU!" finished the female, after which Iji's SOUL glowed, signaling the start of the battle.

Iji's first move was to Check her two opponents as they jumped back a fair distance.

"Dogamy. Husband of Dogaressa. Knows only what he smells. Dogaressa. This puppy finds her hubby lovely. SMELLS ONLY?"

Wait a second. Those two stations past Sans while I was playing that Ball Game… are those theirs? That sign!

"Don't touch my hot dog!" said Dogamy.

"He means me…" said Dogaressa.

The two's axes then glowed a faint white hue before they charged straight for Iji. Even before the Alpha Strike, Iji had prior military training, which was how she was able to threaten Asha when he held her brother Dan hostage with a shotgun and be confident enough not to harm her brother in the process. This training also taught her how do dodge melee weapon attacks like theirs, and despite working in tandem, the pair was unable to deal as much damage to the "weird smell" as they wanted, though when Iji once attempted to parry one axe swing with her bare hands, just touching the blade even on the side inflicted damage to her SOUL.

Maybe the stick won't work on these two this time. But it doesn't hurt to try. Once the attacks ceased for a while, Iji produced the stick and waved it. The two dog monsters dropped their axes proceeded to play fetch with her.

"No. 2 Nuzzle Champs '98!" commented Dogamy.

"Of course we were second," pointed out Dogaressa.

During their game, snow dogs just like with Lesser Dog emerged and one of them started barking at the other, 'summoning' a ring of eight heart shapes, half of them white and half of them blue. Iji dropped to the snowy floor and rolled to get out of its way.

By the time the attack has ceased, Dogaressa was looking over her lying-down form, close to her head…and was sniffing her again. Dogamy was doing the same.

"What! Smells like a…"

"Are you actually a little puppy!?"

Iji decided to answer that by rubbing their jaws with the intent to pet them.

Dogamy was excited. "Wow! Pet by another pup!"

So was Dogaressa. "A dog that pets dogs... Amazing!"

"Dogs can pet other dogs?"

"A new world has opened up for us…"

"Weird smells can bring good things."

"Friendly fun fetch!"

"Thanks, weird puppy!"

"It sure was fun to "stick" together!"

Iji's SOUL then vanished as the two dogs helped her to her feet, retrieved their axes, and then left her with a pouch of Gold. This is gonna take some getting used to.

---

The next area had yet another kind of puzzle ahead. There were two blue Xs, a formation of rocks, a pressure plate, and a sign. Iji approached the sign first, which read Turn every X into an O. Then press the switch.

Easy peasy. Wonder how quickly every child before me solved these. Iji did as instructed, seeing a line of spikes further ahead and Papyrus on the other side of them, pushed the switch to lower the spikes, then approached the skeleton.

"WHAT!?" he gasped. "HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY... IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

Any lef—oh, the spaghetti! "I took it with me. I tried to cook it, but the microwave isn't working. And I took that with me, too."

"REALLY!? WOWIE… NO ONE'S EVER ENJOYED MY COOKING BEFORE…"

"I didn't say I—"

"WELL THEN! FRET NOT, HU—UM, IJI! I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS… WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!"

And with that he was off again. Iji sighed to herself. At least Papyrus addressed her by her name now. Guess he's not all there. With that, she continued on to the next area… only to see Papyrus waiting for her at the start of the path ahead.

"MY BROTHER STARTED A SOCK COLLECTION RECENTLY," he said. "HOW SADDENING… SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT HE WOULD DO, WITHOUT SUCH A COOL GUY TAKING CARE OF HIM? NYEH HEH HEH!" Smiling, she continued forward, and saw ahead of her a sign, a pressure plate, and an arrangement of snow and blue Xs. Papyrus shortly caught up to her as she paused to figure out to solve it. "IJI! HMMM… HOW DO I SAY THIS… YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO… I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE… BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE. UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND. I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS… WORRY NOT, IJI! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF. I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!"

The puzzle was so easy a child could solve it (and the ones before her probably did). Obviously, Papyrus didn't represent all of monsterkind's military force, but so far the Dogs proved relatively easy to thwart that she didn't even need to heal much between encounters. But maybe this Undyne Papyrus talks about wouldn't disappoint. Because even if the mountain survived the Tasen's Alpha Strike, surely they had sent troops in the mountain in search of humans (and in the case of the Komato, search of remaining Tasen). But there were still so many questions still left unanswered. She'll have to reach Snowdin soon to find out.

Once she made every blue X a red O, then pushed the switch (turning all the red Os green), Papyrus ran over and said, "WOW! YOU SOLVED IT! MY ADVICE HELPED! IT REALLY HELPED YOU! INCREDIBLE! I'M IMPRESSED! YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO! WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE THEN! IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!" And he was off yet again.

I swear he's just in his own little world, Iji mused to herself as she made to progress further, encountering Sans at the now-receded spikes.

"good job on solving it so quickly. you didn't even need my help," he congratulated. "which is great, 'cause i love doing absolutely nothing."

---

The next area consisted of a small wooden bridge leading to a strange floor of forty-eight gray tiles in a six-by-eight rectangle formation. On the other side of this floor were Papyrus, Sans (she didn't bother asking anymore), and a gray, largely rectangular box with a grid of (currently-off) lights at the top and four dials along the bottom. The brothers seemed to be waiting for her.

"HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN!" said Papyrus. "YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! YOU SEE THESE TILES!? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH… THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!"

"Wait!" Iji interrupted as she rummaged her satchel for her Tasen logbook. After producing it, she held it in ready to write, then said, "Go ahead."

"taking notes, huh?" commented Sans. "she must be real serious with this. eh, papyrus?"

"I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT! NOW, RED TILES ARE IMPASSIBLE! YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM! YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC! THEY WILL ELECTROCUTE YOU! GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES! IF YOU STEP ON THEM, YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER! ORANGE-TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED. THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH THEM IF YOU LIKE, BUT IF YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES, THE PIRANHAS WILL BITE YOU. ALSO, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ALSO ZAP YOU! PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY! YOU WILL SLIDE TO THE NEXT TILE! HOWEVER, THE SLIPPERY SOAP… SMELLS LIKE LEMONS! WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE! PURPLE AND BLUE ARE OKAY! FINALLY, PINK TILES; THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. STEP ON THEM ALL YOU LIKE. HOW WAS THAT!? UNDERSTAND?"

As soon as Iji typed down the last of her notes for the color tile puzzle, she hoped monster knew what a thumbs-up was and gave one to him.

He seemed to get the gist of it. "GREAT! THEN THERE'S ONE LAST THING… THIS PUZZLE… IS ENTIRELY RANDOM!"

Uh oh.

"WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH, IT WILL MAKE A PUZZLE… THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! NOT EVEN I WILL KNOW THE SOLUTION! NYEH HEH HEH! GET READY…!" He then operated the machine, and the tiles started to shuffle in various colors, slowly increasing in speed.

Iji didn't worry, though. She still got the rules memorized as she put away her logbook back into the satchel. After fourteen seconds however, her memorization was rendered moot: the "puzzle" consisted of a path of pink tiles with red ones on either side leading straight to the other side.

Papyrus was completely bewildered by his rotten luck and slowly spun out of the area, Sans getting out of his way.

Disappointed that she wouldn't be challenged, Iji walked straight through. As she passed Sans, he said, "actually, that spaghetti from earlier… it wasn't too bad for my brother. since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible."

Iji frowned at the shorter skeleton. Whether Sans was telling the truth or not, he was still insulting Papyrus. But it wasn't her place to tell him how to treat his younger brother, so she didn't raise the subject and proceeded.

---

The next area consisted of a pathway, a dog guard station, and plenty of "snowdogs" with elongated necks, but all broken halfway. Was this Lesser Dog's station? As she approached the station, she noticed something behind it among the trees, and upon checking it saw it was yet another camera. Inside the station was a box labeled "pomeraisins". She immediately got the pun. The sign next to it read, AWARE OF DOG. pleas pet dog. Oh, Lesser Dog…

And then she noticed a monster different from the ones she's seen so far. They were deer-like, reminding her of the mythical faun. They wore purple pants, and a purple jumper with teal stars in it. As she approached them, they said, "A dog just rushed in here, filled with inspiration. It kept trying to build a snowdog that expressed its own emotions... But, as it built, it kept getting more excited about the sculpture... Its neck got longer and longer, and it added more and more snow, until... It was rather sad to watch, but I couldn't turn away."

Reflecting back on the snowdogs, Iji could only agree. It seemed like the monster pitied and condescended Lesser Dog for its efforts.

---

What greeted her in the next area was yet another puzzle just like the one before, but on a slippery ice floor. It also seemed that ice in the Underground lacked friction, as if it were a physics-defying miracle lubricant that rendered any who cross it unable to make the slightest change in direction until reaching an obstacle, wall, non-ice section, or worse, a bottomless pit.

There was also a path to the right, so Iji checked there first, but all she saw were two snow sculpture, though calling one of them that was being generous with the term. One of them was a lump of snow with 'sans' written on it in red marker. The other was a muscular sculpture of Papyrus, complete with a red scarf of its own. And it looked recently made, as if the brothers were doing that while waiting for her or something.

Back to the puzzle, Iji already knew what to do, and slid accordingly to each X before finally making it to the button to solve the puzzle. Upon reaching that button, a bridge opened up in front of her, leading straight across a thick forest path that was also slippery like the ice. With no other paths, Iji took it and sailed straight across. When she reached the other side, she felt snow crumble from atop her head.

Ignoring that little issue, she sees a path further ahead, and a detour to the right. Always the type to explore everything, she took the detour, which was a slope downward to another sector. (3) Leading right was another path, which she took, and to her right were strange caves and as she traversed them, she noticed eyes peering out of them. It worried her a bit, and then she saw a monster right in front of her, and it brought her SOUL to light, ready for another battle.

It appeared to bear the basic body structure (and coloration) of a reindeer but with noticeable differences. It had a mouth that opened sideways, which contained a bunch of pointy teeth. Its antlers branched in three different directions, two of them pointing up having pine trees on top of them. Other basic details were the four polka dots on its back, and the variety of decorations it had on it, such as a box of raisins, 'streamers' out of wire from pipe cleaners, and a lenticular bookmark.

As always, Iji Checked the monster. The phone said, "Gyftrot. Some teens 'decorated' it as a prank." Poor Gyftrot.

"Is this funny to you?" the monster asked before commencing its attack, which was to summon three 'gift boxes' in between itself and Iji, then shuffled them for a bit (in which the human decided to take a few steps back) before launching them straight at her. She noticed one of the boxes were blue, and immediately got into its path before staying still long enough for it to pass her by.

Judging by its words and the phone's comment, Iji knew what to do. Iji dashed towards Gyftrot and swiped the raisin box from its back before backing away again, knowing it probably had personal space issues. And she realized she could've just told the monster and gestured before taking it.

Gyftrot seemed a little pleased, regardless. "That feels a little better…" It then proceeded to launch a slew of balls conjured from its 'tree horns'. These were a little harder to dodge than the boxes, and it took a slight toll on Iji's HP. (4)

Next up was the wire, and Iji spoke up beforehand this time. "Gyftrot, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna remove some things on you." She raised her hands in a generic gesture of peace.

The monster was cautious, but eventually relented and let her approach. As soon as she was in range, she untangled the wire around its antlers. They were barbed, but given her Nanofield can stop anything short of other Nanoweapons (and magic) from penetrating it, barbs on wire were nothing.

"That's a little better." Gyftrot said begrudgingly. "But…you're a human, so…"

"Isn't that ungrateful to do after what I did for you?" Iji admonished. "I won't even ask for Gold. Just tell the others I mean no harm." And with that, she took off the bookmark, which depicted a smug teen winking.

"A weight has been lifted. I guess I will." With that, Gyrftrot nodded and walked past Iji, but not before shaking off less than three dozen gold coins from its 'trees'…somehow. "I know you didn't ask, but… I think you still deserve some." And then it trotted off, Iji's SOUL fading as well.

I'll never fully understand these monsters. Iji thought as she collected the coins, then proceeded further on, finally reaching the end of the path, which overlooked a large expanse of forest, with a clearing in the middle and a house in that clearing. And it seemed inhabited. But there was nothing she could do about that, so she checked out the cave to her right.

---

Inside there, it was a long hallway leading to a non-snowy patch of land with four glowing mushrooms clusters, firefly-like lights, and a mysterious door just across her. She was curious as to what lay beyond the door, and was tempted to bust it open, but if this was a resident's house, she didn't want to intrude. Knocking on the door probably wouldn't help either, as the occupant may not hear it, refuse to pay attention, or may not even be there at all. Still, she wanted to know a bit more about it, so she reminded herself to ask or research about the door another time, and then approached the door to at least get a feel for it.

The door seemed to be made of stone, and it bore the same symbol she saw on Toriel's robes and Lesser Dog's shield. Is this their national emblem or something? Is on the other side of this door something important, or is it just a patriotic monster's home? Hmm.

"Ooohh! A fan!" a voice came.

Iji turned around, and saw yet another kind of monster. It seemed to be floating, had a long thick body, an arrogant smile on its face, iris-less eyes, long curved wings/fins, and its tail had a glowing portion at the end like fireflies, anglerfish, etc. Oh, and her SOUL was glowing again.

"Glyde," the phone said about it when she Checked. "Refuses to give more details about its statistics."

"Sorry… for NOTHING *ollies*" it said and its tail glowed brighter, shooting out star-shaped bullets, which Iji had a little difficulty dodging, but she didn't get hit.

Once the attacks paused and it did some fancy flips, Iji could tell that Glyde was very pretentious and rude, so she decided to do to it what she did to Ice Cap; nothing.

Unfortunately, Glyde didn't seem to get the message as it said nothing and continued attacking, this time sending out large star-shaped bullets as well, which upon collision exploded with words like "RAD", "SICK", "NICEY", "VIBIN", and "SPICEY".

"Now what other slang can I come up with for 'cool'…" Glyde was talking to itself. "Oh, 'freakadacious'!" And then the attacks continued, only to pause for it to give itself a high-five, or whatever its equivalent was.

This isn't working! Iji thought as she tried to find a way out. Escaping from battle has always been an option, but right now Glyde was between it and her. And judging by its continuous actions, it wasn't the type to take no for an answer. It was tempting to kill Glyde, but she didn't spare hundreds of murderous aliens back on the surface only to break her streak now all because of one attention whore. Though avoiding the Komato Assassin Asha altogether was a happy coincidence; she would not have hesitated to take him down if they had crossed paths again, not after he took her brother Dan hostage once. Looks like I'll have to indulge in its desires for once.

Relenting to its desires, Iji clapped, however sloppily. She was obviously not amused to do this, but Glyde milked it for all its worth.

"Ok! I rule. I admit it!" The attacks continued however, and Glyde refused to leave.

Maybe it needs more praise. Iji continued clapping between its attacks, and Glyde continued sucking it all up.

"What else do you have to say?" it said as it continued attacking. None of the "big stars" came out since, however.

That's it. It needs to be knocked off of its pedestal. Iji booed at Glyde, complete with thumbs-downs, but the monster seemed appreciative of that, too.

"Boo? What a wimpy ghost."

More attacks. She tried again. He sucked it up as he grew jealous of its own reflection in a mirror it carried. And more attacks came.

"Mmm, Fresh Sweet Haters."

At this point, Iji was getting tired. If it loved attention, positive and negative, maybe the best way to get it off of her was to do nothing. Maybe the only way to get rid of Glyde was to do that after showering it with attention, as doing nothing from the start just made it keep attacking.

So that's what she did. Glyde looked disappointed. "Eh? You forgot to clap." It then tried attacking her again to catch her attention, but numerous instances of that song and dance got her accustomed to dodging them. Her SOUL was still moderately hurt, but she could still make it to Snowdin. As she continued to do nothing, it seemed desperate now, but Glyde had its fun, and she wasn't going to give it more. "HELLO? I'M RIGHT HERE!"

Yet another slew of attacks came and went, and it went crazy with its flips just to catch her attention, but Iji was already starting to miss Papyrus's puzzles and the skirmishes with the Dog guards, as much as she couldn't believe saying. Finally, Glyde seemed to get the message and flew away. As it did, it happened to drop a large pouch of coins.

"Does every monster here keep their Gold in pouches?", the human thought to herself as she picked it up and deposited all the other Gold she accumulated so far, then stored it inside her phone, since her pockets were getting pretty full.

---

Going back to the other path, Iji saw that ahead of her was a small dog house, and plenty of "snow poffs". She checked each of them (the sign next to the dog house said Woof.), and eventually found 30 Gold inside one. As for the one at the very end, blocking the path forward, a tail popped out, and then a head of a dog. It barked cutely at her, but she was more confused than enamored. Her caution proved to be helpful, as the dog then revealed the rest of itself.

The dog's fur is wholly white, and it wore gray armor adorned at the wrists with apparently functional dog faces, much like the spear weapon it presently held. It was as tall as a Tasen Commander (8 feet 2 inches).

And then Iji's SOUL glowed again; it was time for battle. As per usual, the first thing Iji did was Check her opponent. "Greater Dog," the phone said. "It's so excited that it thinks fighting is just play."

How does that help me?

Greater Dog then made its move; summon a snow dog, just as Lesser Dog, Dogamy, and Dogaressa have before. But it seemed to be sleeping. The cold, not to mention all of whatever the dogs before this one had on them, was getting to Iji, and it made her sneeze. The dog woke but did not get up, and started barking. The words BARK flew straight at her, and she immediately dodged them before it eventually buried itself into the snow.

Note to self; don't wake the dog. Better do what I always do. Iji took out the Stick and waved it. Like with all the other dogs before, they began to play fetch for a while. Greater Dog performed a half-hearted attack that consisted of summoning a spear from the snow just as Lesser Dog did, only this one alternated between blue and white. It was easy for Iji to avoid, and she convinced Greater Dog to stop fighting.

With her SOUL fading back, Greater Dog…revealed that it was actually a dog piloting the armor as it revealed its real front legs, popping them out of the neck portion of the armor, propped them against Iji as she stood straight in front of its face, then licked her at her face before retracting them back to its armor and walking away.

All this left her stunned for a bit that she didn't think of following after Greater Dog immediately and use them to escape whatever puzzle next awaited her. And knowing Papyrus, he certainly has. Shrugging to herself, she pressed on.

---

The next area consisted of a bridge out of rock, painted to look like wood, and had two rope railings on the sides. On the other side of the bridge were Papyrus and Sans, and past them were the lights of civilization; Snowdin must be just up ahead. She also saw a camera hidden somewhere at the end of the bridge she was at right now.

Wanting so badly to rest right now (no thanks to Glyde), she walked across the bridge's length until she was within earshot of the skeleton brothers.

"IJ!" Papyrus called as soon as he noticed her. "THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!"

On cue, the following things appeared: a spiky ball tethered by chains, two spears, a dog hanging on a rope tied around its body, an oil drum fire pit, and a cannon.

"WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN! ARE YOU READY? BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!"

Iji gripped both rope railings, then bent down, ready to sprint past the danger.

But nothing seemed to be happening and Papyrus turned away.

"well? what's the holdup?" Sans asked.

"Yeah," Iji agreed. "You saw me go through the electricity maze just fine."

"HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!?" Papyrus denied. "I'M… I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!"

And still nothing happened. Iji wondered if she should take a step forward to prod Papyrus to activating the gauntlet. But then decided not to; on top of the fight with Toriel, playing fetch with the five "guard dogs", mental stress from confronting Glyde, playing the "Ball Game", and everything else, all Iji wanted now was to rent a room at the Snowed Inn so she can rest. Hopefully, the resident monsters don't attack her on sight for being a human.

"that, uh, doesn't look very activated," commented the shorter skeleton.

"WELL! THIS CHALLENGE! IT SEEMS, MAYBE, TOO EASY TO DEFEAT THE HUMAN WITH." Iji scoffed at that. "YEAH! WE CAN'T USE THIS ONE! I AM A SKELETON WITH STANDARDS! MY PUZZLES ARE VERY FAIR! AND MY TRAPS ARE EXPERTLY COOKED! BUT THIS METHOD IS TOO DIRECT! NO CLASS AT ALL! AWAY IT GOES!" And away all six weapons went, leaving a human that's half disappointed and half relieved. "PHEW!" Iji noticed the sigh of relief as Papyrus turned away and looked at him curiously. He noticed and turned around to face her again. "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? THIS WAS ANOTHER DECISIVE VICTORY FOR PAPYRUS! NYEH! HEH! ...HEH?" He seemed to lose heart at the last laugh as ran off.

Glad the whole thing was over, Iji crossed the bridge, and as she noted yet another camera nearby ad hidden, Sans spoke up. "i don't know what my brother's going to do now. if i were you, i would make sure i understand blue attacks."

"I really don't want to fight Papyrus," Iji sighed. "And I get the feeling he doesn't want to fight me either."

"maybe. but maybe you two can work it out somehow while fighting."

"Perhaps you're right." She remembered all the guard dogs and how easy it was to get past them. Then again, Papyrus probably doesn't have the same weakness to sticks as they do. She'll just have to wing it. Or research in whatever library may be in Snowdin. But first thing's first: find a place to rest.

---

The first thing Iji saw upon entering Snowdin proper was the sign made out of white tarpaulin that read Welcome To Snowdin. It warmed her heart to see a quaint winter town that reminded her of what the surface was before the Tasen came here running from the Komato. It also saddened her to be reminded of that fateful day.

The first buildings (according to their signs) were the Shop and the Snowed Inn. Between their entrances was a box similar to the one she first saw right after Sans's station. Peering into the box, she saw that her can of beans was there. It even had the slight dent in that one specific spot. Feeling a little more confident now in its purpose, she put the toy knife, the box of raisins, and the microwave inside the box as well, leaving her phone with a canteen, the donut bought at the spider bake sale, the stick, the pink glove, and Papyrus's spaghetti.

Deciding she could check the shop tomorrow, she entered the inn first. She was greeted by a warm yellow reception room with a red couch to the right, stairs leading up at the far left, and the reception desk was being tended to by a pinkish rabbit monster. A small white one was to the right, but not tall enough to reveal their head over the desk. Behind the desk was a painting of a proud kingdom, probably 'taken' back when monsters still lived on the surface. There was also a lamp at the corner.

"Welcome to Snowed Inn, Snowdin's premier hotel!" the innkeeper greeted. "One night is 80G!"

Iji was surprised at this incredibly warm reception. Does she treat all visitors like this? Or maybe she doesn't even know what a human is, since monsterkind has been stuck Underground for so long, and their descendants no longer know what humans look like. Either way, Iji decided to take advantage of this and coughed up the cash.

"Here's your room key. Make sure to bundle up!"

---

The room Iji was given had all the basic commodities of a hotel room; in addition to a bed was a shower (though no toilets, strangely enough), a kitchenette, lamps, a desk, though no mini-fridge or television. No other fancy additions were present. She was lucky to get this one; all the rest didn't have such things. She was still miffed at having no toilet, though. She'll have to read up on monster physiology tomorrow.

Not bothering to change her clothes this time, Iji just plopped herself onto the bed belly-first, dropping her satchel just next to it. After that, she quickly got up again, removed the holder for her Nanogun, put the thing around her arms, then lay down on the bed again, this time on her back. With rest finally in reach, Iji closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.

[break]

nightelf37: I just wasn't in a writing mood for the longest time. Sorry for the long-ass delay. And why does FF dot net keep eating up underlines unless they cover one word only? It's frustrating!

(1) Spoilers. Iji actually has the ability to SAVE, but she doesn't know about it, and she cannot see the Save Points. I'm not gonna treat this like a game world Undertale is. Additionally, she won't recover HP at Save Points in this story.

(2) Remember. The Child still follows "stranger danger" when it comes to calls. Iji was thinking more rationally. As for the name Nishibi, it was just random.

(3) I don't know how to handle Sans teleporting around in this area, so I decided not to have him there.

(4) For future reference, even if it'll never come up, HP refers to Iji's SOUL, Health refers to her Nanofield, and 'health'…means just that.

See ya on Third!