The four began their descent to the Leaf Village on a long, seemingly never ending, dirt road. The journey had just begun, but already they were far away from the town they left. Not much words were spoken among them, so the journey was mostly silent. However, it was made awkward by the fact that Tsunade and Jiraiya wouldn't even mutter a word to each other nor make any eye contact whatsoever. It wasn't an ideal situation, and they wished that it didn't have to be that way. Unfortunately it was, and neither was willing to break the ice and start anew.
"Things aren't awkward at all." Shizune whispered sarcastically to Tsunade as they walked behind Naruto and Jiraiya.
"Not funny." Tsunade grumbled.
"I wasn't trying to be funny Lady Tsunade." Shizune informed her mentor, "I was trying to state a point."
"So what do you want me to do? The situation is awkward, so what?"
"I want you to make it less awkward. Just try to ease the tension between you and Master Jiraiya. You're going to see him often from now on anyway. Just do it for a peaceful life." Shizune pleaded.
"Nothing I do can ever ease the tension between us." Tsunade sighed, "Don't you see that the man hates me now?"
"I highly doubt that he hates you Lady Tsunade."
"And I'm done talking about this." Tsunade said stubbornly and walked a few steps ahead of Shizune.
There was no use. Tsunade didn't want to try to make things better, because in her mind, her situation with Jiraiya could not be resolved.
They continued their commute to the Leaf Village when Jiraiya stopped walking suddenly and turned his head to the right.
"Why did we stop Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked and looked in the direction in which Jiraiya focused his gaze. The boy's demeanor lit up when he realized just what his teacher was looking at, "Are you thinking of going there?" He asked in excitement.
"I don't see why we can't stop by for a little." Jiraiya said.
Tsunade and Shizune also looked at what the males were staring at, and were nearly appalled when they saw it. It was a poster advertising a hot spring resort that condoned mixed bathing. No wonder the old hermit wanted to stop by.
"Absolutely not!" Tsunade shouted, "You're such a pervert Jiraiya. All you want to go there for is to get a peek at naked women. You disgust me, and as Hokage I say that we continue our journey home."
"Honestly Tsunade, I don't care what you think of me, but I know that you would love to relax with a bottle of sake and sit at a slot machine for the very last time until you officially become the Hokage." He said with all the persuasion in the world. He was smart. He knew that Tsunade could never resist drinking and gambling.
Unlike before, Tsunade thought about it. It was true that she would not get the opportunity to drink all day and gamble everything she owned once she returned to the Leaf Village. She would surely miss her favorite activities, so it didn't take her too long to agree to Jiraiya's plans, "Okay fine."
"Lady Tsunade no!" Shizune squealed, "Let's just go home."
"Zip it Shizune." She snapped and looked at the poster once more, "It says that the resort is only two miles from here. If we hurry, we'll make it there in no time at all."
"Sounds like a plan to me." Jiraiya smiled and walked off with Naruto.
"Oh brother..." Shizune muttered under her breath and followed behind the people who actually wanted to go to the hot springs resort.
After walking for two miles, they finally arrived at the resort. Before they walked into the main office to check in, Tsunade stopped and turned to face the party she was with.
"We'll stay for the night and then head out in the morning." Tsuande said.
"In the morning?" Shizune repeated wearily, "Lady Tsunade, the village council is expecting us to arrive in the village at a certain time. We can't delay just to stay overnight at this resort." Shizune said, trying to reason with her.
"It's already late in the afternoon Shizune." She started, "If we're only planning on staying the day then we won't have a lot of time to spend here at the resort." Tsunade knew that she had to be in the village soon, but the truth as that she was holding off on going as much as she possibly could, in order to get herself further acquainted with the fact that she was going to have to give up the life she grew to be accustomed to. It was going to be a big change, so she had to fully prepare herself for it.
"Tsunade is right Shizune." Jiraiya agreed only because he wanted to participate in the mixed bathing.
"Of course you would think she's right Master Jiraiya." She sighed under her breath so that her words were inaudible, "Let's go then." She said louder and they all walked into the resort.
"Welcome!" A fairly young woman who worked at the resort said as she saw them walk into the main office, "How can I help you today?"
"We need two rooms, each with two separate beds just for the night." Tsunade said.
"Okay, and how will you be paying for them? Remember, all the attractions we have to offer are included in the price."
"Cash." Tsunade said and handed the woman money to pay for the room for her and Shizune. She then turned to Jiraya and held out her palm, waiting for his money. She watched as he dug around in his pocket then put the money in her hand. She then handed that money to the woman.
"You have room A7 and room A12, which is just down the hall from A7." She said as she accepted the money. She then dug around in her draw and emerged with two keys, "These are your room keys."
"Thank you." Tsunade smiled and handed room A12's key to Jiraiya.
"No problem, have a wonderful stay."
They put their belongings in their respective rooms and went down to the lounge in the resort. Naruto and Jiraiya decided to head down to the hot springs, while Shizune had the desire to see the sights. Tsunade on the other hand, wanted to do nothing more than to sit in a gambling hall and indulge herself in sake. She left the group without a word, although they all had a pretty good idea on where she was heading off to.
Shizune worried about Tsunade, but she knew that her mentor needed this time to be alone. So many confusing emotions were running through Tsunade's body, so time and space was all she was seeking.
Meanwhile, Jiraiya and Naruto were at the hot springs. Jiraiya of course was waiting for the company of chesty females while Naruto was just enjoying the water, allowing it to sink into his bones and relax him.
"The water is great isn't it Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked while floating on the water on his back.
"It would be better if some women joined us." Jiraiya sighed, continuously looking around for any sight of the female body.
Naruto stopped floating around and sat beside his master with a devious smile on his face, "Why won't you ask Granny Tsunade to join you then?" He asked, "I could get out and give you two some privacy -" He said before being cut off due to the fact that Jiraiya placed his hand on the boy's head and dunked him into the steamy water.
After a few seconds, Jiraiya brought the boy back up to the surface.
The boy coughed twice then gave the sage a nasty glare, "What the hell was that for Pervy Sage?!"
"Next time think twice before suggesting something like that!" Jiraiya shouted and tried to get the thought of sitting naked in steamy water with Tsuande out of his head. He was supposed to dislike her, and if he participated in such a tempting act, it would only make it harder for him to not like her. He didn't want his old feelings towards her to emerge for nothing in the world. Too much has happened between them for romance between them to even be an option.
"But why Pervy Sage?" Naruto asked in a whiny voice, "You're the biggest pervert in the world, and Granny Tsunade isn't bad to look at. Why aren't you all over her?"
"Is it so hard to believe that I'm just not attracted to her?" Jiraiya groaned, clearly lying.
"I know you're attracted to her." Naruto spat back, "Why won't you hang out with her?"
"That's none of your damn business boy! Just shut up and soak!" Jiraiya shouted, completely done with the conversation.
Naruto couldn't understand for the life of him why Jiraiya was being so strange towards Tsunade, and why she was so closed off. Naruto shared a good relationship with everyone on his team, and he would do anything to go in the hot springs with Sakura. It was just so weird, but he knew that he would never know exactly what the two members of the Sannin's problem was unless one of them told him. The likelihood of that happening was very slim.
Shizune was walking through the town just outside of the resort and took in all the beautiful sights. The hot spring itself filled the air with a scent of sulphur, and exotic birds were in abundance. Everything was so breathtaking that she wanted nothing more than to share it with her adopted mother, but unfortunately Tsunade was in a place in her life of great confusion. Shizune wished that there was something she could do to help her, but it was left up to Tsunade to truly find peace within herself.
"I wish Lady Tsunade could see how beautiful everything is in this town." Shizune said to her pig TonTon while admiring the vibrant colors of a flower that she was unfamiliar with, "This would have been the perfect end to our nomadic lifestyle; taking in the rare and exotic sights of this town." She sighed and then sat on a nearby wooden bench, "I'm going to miss certain things about our old life."
She remembered all of the things that happened from the very moment Tsunade found her rummaging through the garbages in a back alley. That was the start of them. They lived through poverty where they had to live off of Tsunade's inadequate salary, and then that unfortunate miscarriage. A lot has happened to them, but ultimately, they grew together, and while Tsunade became more introverted, Shizune became a caring woman. They did everything together, and now it was their turn for a stable, prosperous life.
In that moment, Shizune decided to look for Tsunade and invite her out to a bar. Shizune in no way condoned Tsunade's drinking habits, but she wanted to spend some time with her mentor and perhaps make her feel better. She knew Tsunade wouldn't want to come if it were tea, so alcohol had to be used as the incentive.
She walked straight into the gambling hall and saw Tsunade sitting at a slot machine, digging in her wallet, probably looking for money that she didn't have to put into the machine. Her purse wasn't large at all and yet she was still digging around in it. Obviously she had no money left, but the blonde held onto the hope that something would magically appear in her wallet.
"Damn it!" Tsunade cursed and slammed her head on the machine in defeat when she realized that she was completely cleaned out, and therefore had to stop gambling.
"Lady Tsunade?" Shizune said and placed a hand on Tsunade's shoulder.
Tsunade turned her head and looked up at her adopted daughter, "What are you doing in here Shizune?" She asked and sat upright, "I thought you went to go look at the crappy sights."
"The sights are actually very beautiful." Shizune informed her, "I actually came here to ask you if you want to accompany me to the bar in the resort. I have some money so I'll pay for you since from the looks of it, you're broke." Shizune said while taking notice of Tsunade's empty wallet.
"Are you joking?" Tsunade asked while looking at Shizune as if she has gone made, "You're always encouraging me to give up alcohol for good, and here you are asking me to join you for a drink." Tsunade said, "And when since do you drink?!"
"I don't drink Lady Tsunade and I never will. I just want to spend some time with you before you become Hokage and the only way to do that is to do something that you love to do." Shizune confessed.
Tsunade thought about it and found that it was actually very sweet of Shizune to actually want to spend some time with her.
"Okay then." Tsunade said with a slight smile, "Let's go to the bar, and remember, you're paying."
The two women found themselves in the bar that wasn't too crowded, but was occupied by a few people. They both took a seat right at the bar, and Tsunade immediately ordered a bottle of sake, while Shizune just requested a glass of soda.
"You should really have a drink once in awhile Shizune." Tsunade said before taking a swing at her alcohol, "It will loosen you up."
"I'm quite fine with my non alcoholic beverages." Shizune said and then took a dainty sip of her soda.
"Boring!" Tsunade teased.
They sat there talking about nothing in particular until it grew silent for a few moments. There was however, a question on Shizune's mind that was never answered no matter how many times she asked it. It was an important question, and she knew that it would make her master uncomfortable, but she needed to ask.
"Are you ever going to tell Master Jiraiya about-"
"No." Tsunade said quickly, stopping Shizune in mid-sentence, "This is neither the time nor the place to tell him anything."
"Tell me what?" Jiraiya asked from behind them.
Tsunade's heart nearly stopped within her chest when she heard his masculine voice from behind her. A chill ran through her body when she realized that if she did not cut off Shizune, her secret would have been out.
"Nothing." Tsunade said quickly without turning to face him.
"Whatever." He said, brushing off the awkwardness. He clearly knew that there was something Tsunade was hiding from him and vowed to himself that eventually he would find out, but not right now. He turned to Shizune who was looking at him and said, "I actually came here to ask you about your plans for dinner."
"Yes, dinner! I'm starving!" Naruto said gleefully, happy at the prospect that he would soon get some food.
"Perhaps we could have sushi." Shizune suggested.
"I'm down for some sushi." Naruto nodded his head.
"I'll fine with anything really." Jiraiya shrugged.
"Are you okay with sushi Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked Tsunade.
Tsunade got out of her seat and said, "I'm not hungry." Before walking out of the bar.
"Lady Tsunade." Shizune called out, but her mentor would not return.
"Why did Granny Tsunade just walk away like that?" Naruto asked?
"Who knows." Jiraiya said, "Are we going to eat or what?"
He really did not care whether Tsunade wanted to join them for dinner or not. Quite frankly, he was happy that he would not have to sit with her and try to make things not so awkward.
They decided to go without her, although Shizune wished that Tsunade would have joined them. However, Jiraiya didn't seem to care, and of course Naruto was only concerned with the food that he would soon receive.
They ordered their food and sat in silence, waiting for it to arrive. Naruto excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Jiraiya and Shizune alone.
"What is Tsunade hiding from me." Jiraiya asked, using the opportunity to his advantage.
Shizune sighed, and tried her best not to make eye contact with her mentor's old teammate, "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because it isn't in my place to tell you." She explained, "If you want to know, you're going to have to ask Lady Tsunade herself."
Jiraiya decided to accept Shizune's reason for not telling him. He didn't wish to make her feel uncomfortable. After all, he wasn't upset with her for anything, it was Tsunade who he was upset with. Still, he wondered what on earth it could be that Tsunade wasn't telling him. If Shizune couldn't tell him, did that mean it was something serious?
"You clearly aren't thrilled to see Lady Tsunade." Shizune commented, "What's up with that Master Jiraiya? I thought you loved her."
Jiraiya sighed and rubbed his temples wearily, "Maybe I did, but that was long ago." He said, "I realized that I deserve happiness, and with Tsunade constantly walking out on me, I could never be happy. I was always there for her, and she could never accept all the love that I was offering. You know that."
"I understand Master Jiraiya, and I can see why you're angry with her. After all, she didn't return to the village to help out when Minato died."
"I just have a lot of issues with her."
"I know." Shizune said sadly. She completely understood why Jiraiya fell out of love with Tsunade and was not happy to see her after such a long time. However, she still wanted him to love her, because she had a feeling that Tsunade loved him. It was her childhood wish for them to be together, but it seemed as if that wish would never come true.
Tsunade was perched upon the windowsill looking out at the starry night sky. She was lying when she said she wasn't hungry. The truth was that she just didn't want to be in the same space as Jiraiya for another second. Her secret was almost revealed, and because of that, she became frazzled and disoriented. She knew she would eventually have to tell Jiraiya, but she just didn't know how. How does one simply inform the person who they conceived a child with that they had a miscarriage eighteen years after it happened?
She heard a knocking on her door, and figured that it could only be Shizune. She grumbled as she walked to the door, "Shizune why are you knocking when you have a damn room key?"
She unlocked all the latches on the door then opened it only to see her tall, white haired teammate standing before her.
"Jiraiya." She said softly, clearly in shock to see him of all people standing before her.
"Lady Hokage." He said formally.
She sighed and looked at the ground, "Don't call me that."
"Get used to it, because that's what people are going to be calling you once you step foot in the village." He reminded her.
"I know, but coming from you it sounds weird." She told him, "Just call me Tsunade."
"Is that an order Lady Hokage?" He said with a slight smile playing on his lips.
This caused Tsunade to giggle a bit, but then confusion erased the smile on her face, "W-Why are you here?" She asked.
"I wanted to talk to you." He said, "May I come inside? I don't really want everybody in this resort to know what I want to talk to you about."
"O-Okay." She stuttered and allowed him to enter her room, then shut the door behind him.
"I didn't really want to talk to you, but you're going to be the Hokage, therefore I'll have to see you often. I don't want things to be awkward, so I'm just going to come out and say what I need to say." He explained.
"Just spill it Jiraiya."
"I'm angry at you." He stated, and she felt as if her heart was about to collapse within her chest, "I'm angry that you continuously walked out on me and didn't come to help the village when the nine tails attacked."
"I know you are."
"And I deserved to be treated better than how you treated me when I was trying to love you."
"You did, I now know that, and I'm sorry." She apologized, "I'm sorry that I couldn't be all that you wanted in a woman. And I''m sorry for not returning to the village when I was needed the most."
He honestly could not believe that she was apologizing so willingly for all that she did to him in the past. Perhaps she had a lot of time to think about it when they were apart.
"I'm willing to leave the past in the past." He told her, "Aren't you?"
"Of course." She said with a glimmer of hope that everything could be alright between them again.
"Then let's forget about it and move on."
"Okay."
He was just about to leave the room when he decided to turn around and address one more issue that he had with her, "By the way, I tried to get Shizune to talk, but I didn't get anywhere with her, so can you please tell me what it is that you're hiding from me?"
She felt a red tint rise to her cheeks, and her palms started to sweat due to how nervous she was. Was this the moment she would finally tell him, or would she keep her secret hidden?
"Tsunade." He said when she didn't say anything.
"I-I have nothing to tell you. I'm not hiding anything." She lied, and felt like a complete failure.
"I don't believe you." He said then walked out of her room, leaving her all by her lonesome.
Why couldn't she just tell him? Was she that afraid of him hating her? In that moment, when she saw the look of defeat on his face after she told him that blatant lie, she knew for sure that nothing could be as it was in the past between them until she told him the secret that she held from him for eighteen long years.
So they're going to try and return things to how they were before they ever overstepped their boundaries and slept together. Will Tsunade ever tell Jiraiya her secret?
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