nightelf37: As usual, inventory time. Seems nothing's changed in it this time, aside from what I've forgotten to add two chapters ago. Sorry again. Looks like the Temmie Armor certainly helped.

Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Nice Cream, Umbrella, [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage:

Beans Can, Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Cloudy Glasses, Crab Apple, Sea Tea, Spider Donut

Tasen Logbook Records:

directions_to_snowdin, ascii_catgirl, color_tile_puzzle_guide, monster_compendium, temmie_village_directions, gaster_note, the_undertale, underground_compilation, ask_gerson_about_the_king_later, negotiation_proposal_(draft)

To Guest: I guess I forgot about that, but I wanted to advertise the Trope Pantheons as well. And as for that other question, remember that when a monster dies, they turn to dust and their SOUL vanishes. And with the Komato skirmish, quite a lot would be scattered, making your suggestion impossible. No spoilers, please.

To wingedcatgirl: Moldaverage is an actual monster name in-game, seen when you CHECK Moldbygg.

The interior of the Lab was dark, but was quickly remedied with Iji's flashlight. From what she could see, the walls were a light shade of green, the floor was composed of light blue tiles with yellow in-between.

The small entrance hallway she was in then opened up to a fairly sizable expanse as she walked along. Ahead, she could see a conveyer belt moving towards her direction, a huge television screen showing…her right now, a garbage can, a computer accessing some kind of puzzle in Snowdin on a desk littered with instant noodle bowls, research notes, a coffee mug, and two figurines (one of them a catgirl), a refrigerator filled with instant noodles and soda, and a bag of dog food. Further ahead was a metal door that seemed to lead to a bathroom if the sign next to it was any indication.

And then the door opened (Iji quickly turned off the flashlight) and a monster emerged from it. It was a yellow reptilian (or pangolin-esque) female monster that was 4 feet 9 inches tall. She had scales, round glasses, protruding teeth, and donned a white lab coat. Iji remembered Vateilika getting an interest in glasses lately, even though her visor should correct her vision thanks to Nanotechnology.

Shortly after that, the lights went on, and the monster then walked towards Iji before stopping and reacting in shock.

"Oh. My god." The monster, now identifiable as a female began to panic and spin a bit. "I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and…" She trailed off from there, panicking for another minute before calming down as she turned to face Iji again. "Ummm… H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's royal scientist!"

"Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Alphys," the human greeted. "My name's Iji Kataiser. Just call me Iji."

"I see. B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the 'bad guys'! Actually, since you stepped out of the ruins, I've, um…been 'observing' your journey through my console. Your fights, your friendships, everything!"

"So that was your cameras, then. Is that the Underground's surveillance system?"

"Um…yes. I was originally going to stop you, but… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!"

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Just Alphys is fine. Well, actually, umm, there's just a tiny issue. A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something."

Iji nodded, having read up on him.

"Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um… Anti…anti-human combat features?"

"Was this in response to the alien attack several weeks back? 'Cause I understand if you did that."

"Of c-course! B-b-but when I saw you coming, I immediately decided I have to remove those features! Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um…" Alphys began to look really nervous. "Now he's an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood? Ehehehehe…"

Having had to deal with Dan lying to her before, and not just about the Tasen Alpha Strike merely attacking the area around the facility he and their father worked in but the entire planet, Iji knew this was a flat-faced one. "Right," she replied with sarcasm.

Alphys didn't seem to notice, though. "Heh. But, ummm, hopefully we won't run into him!"

And then a small rumble occurred. Alphys looked a little confused, and Iji grew a little tense as another rumble came.

"Did you hear something?"

"If what you're saying about Mettaton is true, I'll see if I can take him out," Iji replied as the rumbles continued as she drew her Nanogun. "Just tell me where his central processor unit is so I won't end up destroying it by accident. Wouldn't want to deprive the Underground of their celebrity, right?"

Alphys looked more panicked than usual. "W-w-what?!" And then the lights turned off, leaving everything completely dark. Iji immediately switched her Nanogun to Resonance Reflector mode as she heard something crash through a wall. "Oh no."

"OHHH YES!" a robotic voice came, just like with Sentinel Proxima. "WELCOME, BEAUTIES…" And then a spotlight shone down on the speaker, who seemed to have broken through the wall just past the bag of dog food. "TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!"

This seemed to be Mettaton, whose appearance was that of a gray, largely rectangular box with a grid of lights at the top… similar to the mechanism in Snowdin Forest used for Papyrus's Tile Puzzle. The grid of lights seemed to be able to change colors to substitute for facial expressions. He had four dials along the bottom of his body, and at the bottom, he had a single leg which ended in a wheel. He also had two segmented robotic arms which ended in white gloves.

Two disco balls and a neon sign reading GAME SHOW descended from the ceiling as Mettaton's facelights turned yellow.

"OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!" The 'M' pattern on his screen was formed again. "EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!" Mettaton clapped his hands together as his 'face' flashed blue and yellow before defaulting to yellow again. "NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS?" His face showed an 'M' again. "NO PROBLEM! IT'S SIMPLE!" And then it showed a '1'. "THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE. ANSWER CORRECTLY…" He then paused for a bit before his face lights flashed yellow and red. "OR YOU DIE!"

And Iji's SOUL began to shine once more; it was time to battle. She set her Nanogun to Shotgun mode, aimed it down at Mettaton's wheel leg, and fired. And to her expectation, and to Mettaton and Alphys' surprise, the leg was instantly shattered into scrap metal and the robot's main body crashed into the floor. (1) Luckily for him, he didn't fall over onto his face, back, or side.

This action left everybody silent for a full half-minute, Mettaton being seemingly unresponsive, Alphys with shock and fear, and Iji with a little discomfort. The latter of them broke the silence. "Would you look at that."

And then Alphys moved in between Iji and Mettaton to protect him. "NO! Please don't destroy him!"

And then it finally clicked in her as she lowered her Nanogun. "Wait a second… Is this…all an act?"

The scientist seemed a little surprised, but nodded profusely.

"I read that there was a new program Mettaton was going to air in. Is this what this was for?" She only barely noticed Alphys react. "Because if it is, If you hoping I would react predictably, I think I might've gone off the script."

"Y-y-y-y-yeah! That's it!" Alphys was nervous again, but was it from having been exposed, or was it because she was hiding something else? Iji will probably know later. "I'm sorry for lying to you about Mettaton, but monsterkind needed a new show to keep their spirits up, especially in light of the recent alien attack here. I never thought they'd be real."

"I understand." And then Iji had an idea as she snapped her fingers with one free hand. "…Say, what if I went along with the script for now? And maybe an interview, too?"

And then Mettaton decided to speak up once more. "OOOH! AN INTERVIEW? WHAT FOR?"

"Well, I'd like to explain why I'm really here, if your surveillance cameras haven't gleaned that out from me yet. Things on the surface…well…let's just say that Barrier aside, you're actually better off than us right now."

"Huh? I don't understand," said Alphys. "I mean, I'm sure the aliens attacked the humans above while they sent some here as well for some reason, but…is it really that bad up there?"

"I'd rather not explain right now."

"WELL, WELL WELL," Mettaton spoke up again, and then, from its base emerged long black-clad legs ending in pink high-heeled boots. "THAT INTERVIEW SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA! WHERE CAN WE FIT THIS IN, ALPHYS?"

The scientist turned to face Mettaton, then to Iji, then to Mettaton again. "Umm…well…why don't we all talk together for this one?"

For the next hour, Iji, Alphys, and Mettaton talked about how the quiz show program was going to go over instant noodles from Alphys's fridge (with Nice Creams and a box of raisins for dessert from Iji's inventory); the other parts the non-humans thought can go as planned and be adapted to whatever Iji does. Alphys also upgraded Iji's Phone (and gave her number), and the two females worked together on it, with the human helping by using her Nanofield's functions so that she can access its functions without pulling it up all the time (hanging out with Yukabacera helped her be knowledgeable in its intricate functions, though still not as well as him). Iji also promised not to hack Mettaton, which the robot was thankful for, as well as asked for a second Phone for…a friend of hers, which she planned on giving to Ansaksie later.

The upgraded Phone certainly looked more modern like the latest models (with keyboards) before smartphones with their touchscreens became a thing. It came with texting, a storage system (which incidentally led to the items in the storage boxes Iji had been using since Snowdin Forest), a second storage system, and connection to the Undernet's social network (which she promptly signed in again as NanoAnomaly75, Alphys's was…ALPHYS). Iji hoped Ansaksie knows about social networks and how to register.

Alphys wanted to study the Nanogun and Nanofield, but Iji wasn't willing to part with the former, remembering Dan's promise, and she had no time to be sidetracked and stay for the latter ("Once I meet with the king."). She also did the interview part with Mettaton (including her alien encounters and current situation of humanity), which was recorded for later use. After recording it, he had commented, "WELL, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING".

The scientist also apologized for lying and that she should've known that an adult like Iji wouldn't be fooled with the farce she and Mettaton were about to pull on her, because it had worked twice before (or was it once?) and they had rehearsed it so much not to ditch the entire script from just one complication such as a competent adult being the 'subject'. The script for Mettaton's show also had to be modified to fit into Iji's pronounced intentions.

Iji also asked the scientist about progress with the Barrier, given the Alpha Strike that hit it, about the alien SOULs they surely have collected, and the whereabouts of assistant scientists/interns. Alphys answered the following questions in order: 1 & 3) She has all her interns examining the Barrier for weaknesses and current 'integrity', and 2) Asgore was able to determine early on (somehow, probably after fighting them off when they attacked) that Tasen and Komato SOULs cannot be used in conjunction with human SOULs and even if enough of the alien SOULs were collected, the Barrier was made by humans and so can only be destroyed by human SOULs.

Iji was still determined to try and destroy it by force, though, and was confused why the alien SOULs couldn't work; they were from Earth/Origin just like humans, and suggested to Alphys to gather all the Tasen and Komato SOULs and bring them to the Barrier after the show; surely enough of them had died to equate or exceed the power of seven Human SOULs, even if the Human SOULs they already have aren't used in conjunction.

After arranging all that, and getting a package of Instant Noodles from Alphys, the three positioned themselves at the spot where they first met, intending to take this from the top, as the the whole game show performance prior wasn't really live; just a test run. The first part has already been recorded for use in the program.

"READY, EVERYONE?" Mettaton said.

"Ready." Both women replied.

"ACTION!"

Things went as they usually did before Iji shot Mettaton's leg, but this time she didn't do that, and her Nanogun was holstered. Instead, with her new Phone integrated with her Nanofield, she Checked him. Mettaton. his metal body renders him invulnerable to attack. …Most attacks, anyway.

"LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!" Mettaton said before putting away his microphone and taking out a cue card. "What's the prize for answering correctly?" Words then appeared in front of Iji beside a single letter, each representing a choice in a quiz shoe. They read as follows:

A) Money

B) Mercy

C) New car

D) More questions

Four boxes representing the choices then appeared around Iji, waiting for her hand to touch them. There was also a counter right in front of her, representing a countdown timer. If she doesn't answer in time or answers incorrectly, Mettaton will zap her with magic. Given that they were going with the script this time, Iji knew all but a few of the answers, though she liked to try and pretended like she didn't. But for now, she moved her hand to 'D'.

"RIGHT! SOUNDS LIKE YOU GET IT! HERE'S YOUR TERRIFIC PRIZE! What's the king's full name?"

A) Lord Fluffybuns

B) Fuzzy Pushover

C) Asgore Dreemurr

D) Dr. Friendship

Heheh. Dr. Friendship. Never heard that one before, thought Iji as she hovered her hand onto 'C'.

"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER! ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME! What are robots made of?"

A) Hopes & Dreams

B) Metal &Magic

C) Snips & Snails

D) Sugar & Spice

She immediately selected 'B'.

"TOO EASY FOR YOU, HUH? HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!" But it actually wasn't, and he was speaking very quickly, but Iji was able to keep up. "Two trains, Train A and Train B simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7 mph towards Station B and Train B is moving at 253.5 mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?"

A) 31.054 minutes

B) 16.232 minutes

C) 32.049 minutes

D) 32.058 minutes

She began to think fast too, even though she's already been told the answer. 252.5 miles between the two stations. Train A moves at 124.7 mph, so 60 minutes for every 124.7 miles, 2.078 miles a minute, means it takes 121.492 minutes for Train A to reach Station B. Train B moves at 253.5 mph, so 60 minutes for every 253.5 miles, 4.225 miles a minute, means it'll take 59.763 minutes for Train B to reach Station A.

Next. (X,Y) graph, Y is distance, X is time. Station A location (0,0), Station B location (0, 252.5). Train A end at (121.492,252.5), and Train B end at (59.763,0).

For Train B, (0, 252.5) and (59.763, 0) are the two points, so equation is ?X + ?Y = 59.763. Determine Y's coefficient. ?(0) + ?(252.5) = 59.763, so ? * 252.5 = 59.763, so ? = 59.763 / 252.5, means coefficient is 0.236. Determine X's coefficient. ?(59.763) + ?(0) = 59.763, so ?(59.763) = 59.763. Makes X's coefficient 1. So Train B's equation is X + 0.237Y = 59.763.

For Train A, (0,0) and (121.492,252.5) are the two points, so equation is ?X - ?Y = 0, which is also ?X = ?Y. Use end time and distance for Train A, so (?)121.492 = (?)252.5. Need X to be 1, so equation will be 121.492 = (?)252.5, so 121.492 / 252.5 = ?. Y's coefficient will be 0.481, therefore Train B's equation is X - 0.481Y = 0.

Train equations are therefore X + 0.237Y = 59.763 and X - 0.481Y = 0. Y easier to determine, so remove X, and get 0.718Y = 59.763. Y is therefore 59.763 / 0.718, which is 83.254. Now with Y, determine X using X - 0.481Y = 0, or X = 0.481Y . That means X = 0.481 * 83.254, which is 40.058.

Meeting point of two equations therefore (40.058, 83.254), means trains pass each other 83.254 miles from Station A 40.058 minutes from when they depart at 10:00 AM. 10:08 in the equation, so subtract 8 minutes and get 32.058 as the answer. (2) As soon as concluded her calculations, Iji moved her hand over to 'D' with a second to spare.

"WONDERFUL! I'M ASTOUNDED, FOLKS! DON'T COUNT ON YOUR VICTORY… How many flies are in this jar?" Moving over to the hole where he emerged, he procured a jar with flies in it and set it on the floor between himself and the contestant.

A) 54

B) 53

C) 55

D) 52

Now this was a problem. Counting a large number of moving objects was extremely difficult even for Iji to do. Luckily, she has the answers she was told to fall back to, not to mention Alphys forming letters with her hands, but she didn't need to look there. For the sake of the viewers, she decided to pretend to ponder on the answer. Once it was 9 seconds left on her clock, she chose 'A'.

"CORRECT! YOU'RE SO LUCKY TODAY! LET'S PLAY A MEMORY GAME!" After taking away the jar of flies, Mettaton then produced a holographic image. "What monster is this?"

A) Froggit

B) Whimsun

C) Moldsmal

D) Mettaton

The image was of half a Froggit's face, but given how self-centered Mettaton made himself to be, this was likely a trick question, so she answered 'D'.

And she was right; the hologram zoomed out to reveal Mettaton wearing a T-shirt with a Froggit's face on it. "I'M SO FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED! BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? Would you smooch a ghost?"

A) Heck Yeah

B) Heck Yeah

C) Heck Yeah

D) Heck Yeah

A little confused with this, and since her timer is going up instead of down, Iji decided it was safe to pick one at random.

"GREAT ANSWER! I LOVE IT! HERE'S A SIMPLE ONE. How many letters in the name Mettaton nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…"

A) 11

B) 6

C) 8

D) 10

As Mettaton droned on, the numbers also began to rise from their current value. Thankfully, like with the jar of flies, she was already told the answer, and chose 'C'.

"OF COURSE THAT WAS EASY FOR YOU! TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS! In the dating simulation video game Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, what is Mew Mew's favorite food?"

Iji gulped. Crap, I haven't seen that animé! I was about to before my dad took me to his workplace, and than that fateful day happened.

Before the robot could produce the usual however, Alphys raised her hand. "OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!"

The human made a face. Eww! Snail ice cream?!

"IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about friendship and…" Alphys slowed to a stop as Mettaton turned to face her.

"ALPHYS. ALPHYS. ALPHYS. YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU?" The scientist shook her head in denial, but that was just part of the script. "OOOOOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION…" She then put her hands to her mouth. "YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?"

A) Undyne

B) Asgore

C) The human

D) Don't know

Wait, this wasn't the question Mettaton was supposed to ask me, Iji thought as Alphys tried to plead her not to answer. Also, her timer wasn't moving. Hmm…Undyne sure has talked about Alphys a lot. While the two were of the same gender, Iji had no issues with such couples. She remembered reading Tasen logbooks of one Wak Torma worrying for Maeja's safety, and with the exception of Yukabacera, all Tasen Soldiers Iji had encountered were female.

And so she answered 'A', much to Alphys' embarrassment as she covered her blushing face. "SEE, ALPHYS? I TOLD YOU IT WAS OBVIOUS. EVEN THE HUMAN FIGURED IT OUT. YES, SHE SCRAWLS HER NAME IN THE MARGINS OF HER NOTES. SHE NAMES PROGRAMMING VARIABLES AFTER HER. SHE EVEN WRITES STORIES OF THEM TOGETHER SHARING A DOMESTIC LIFE. PROBABILITY OF CRUSH: 101 PERCENT. MARGIN OF ERROR, ONE PERCENT.

"WELL. WELL. WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU, THIS SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT. BUT! THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS…!" With that, Mettaton retracted all four of his limbs to his body, then his base began to expunge fire and he took off like a rocket. The Lab happens to have an opening that revealed itself to allow him to exit through it before closing again. Also, Iji's SOUL faded after that, because the 'battle' was over.

"…Well that was certainly something." Alphys said after a few moments. "…I'm going to the bathroom. See you later, Iji." She then made for it, opening before going in, and closing it behind her.

This made the human a tad suspicious. Monsters don't defecate since monster food doesn't create waste material; Alphys must be hiding something big, but Iji won't pry for now. And she didn't seem dirty enough to have to bathe.

Before leaving however, Iji decided to look around some more. She's already visited it while discussing with Alphys and Mettaton, but she decided to visit there again by taking the conveyer belt leading up to the second floor, which led to the scientist's quarters. There, the first thing she really saw were the bookshelves, which had very dusty scientific books, books labeled Human History (which are various manga, but none that are mainstream), and VHS tapes and DVDs of various animé. Is this what Alphys has "deduced" of our kind? Then again, she's found them all from the garbage dump, and hardly anybody dumps important books down the river.

Aside from the conveyer belt that'll take her all the way across the room, further to the left was a strange machine dripping pink goop and processing tall grass from Waterfall…for some reason. Behind it is a tool rack holding two wrenches, two hammers, and one carpenter's saw. Left of that was a dusty table with a chainsaw, hand drill, and blueprints (presumably) for Mettaton. Behind it was a portrait of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie's protagonist.

The next item on the left was a wardrobe of of dirty lab coats…and a single clean black dress with white polka dots. After that was a desk with a lamp with pink fish on the lampshade and the lack of a light bulb and a stack of letters from many monsters. Froggit, Snowy (Snowdrake), Doggo… and all of them unopened. And the last item before reaching the conveyer belt back down was a blue box that was actually a folded-up bed, behind it a poster of the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie title screen.

And right opposite the conveyer belt back to the first floor was a promo poster for Mettaton's TV premiere. On the flap on the top right corner, it said 'Thank you for making my dreams come true'.

With everything explored, Iji went back to the first floor. But then she remembered something.

First, she exited the Lab the way she came in, went all the way to the dark room with the crystals, and contacted Ansaksie with the communicator program in her Nanofield. The Komato Assassin teleported in in an instant.

"I'm here, Iji."

The human handed over the second Phone. "Here." After explaining the phone's functions (including Nanofield compatibility) as well as signing in Ansaksie to the social network (the Komato chose the username TDZCora42, Tadezocora being the Komato home planet) and adding each other as Friends, she added. "The Phone also has access to two Dimensional Boxes, just like this one, so if either of us were to put an item in those boxes, the other can use it. For some reason, though, the Boxes cannot be accessed when you're in a battle against a monster, which happens when your SOUL is glowing; you'll have to place them in your Phone's own inventory."

Ansaksie nodded. "I see. Thanks."

"Speaking of SOULs, I was wondering…what did your SOUL look like when you faced a monster in battle? Mine was a red heart shape."

"Oh, so that's why a purple circle shape appears on my chest whenever they try to attack me."

"I see. Well, just letting you know that Dr. Alphys and Mettaton have arranged a show and I'm the "unwitting" star. I'm telling you so that you don't end up accidentally crashing it."

"All right. There's something else I should tell you. I think Sans is on to me. You may have to come up with a good explanation for my presence soon."

"Well, I've at least mentioned you to Undyne, but not about you being here in the Underground, and Alphys and Mettaton know too."

"I see. I'll make sure to stay out of their sight. Well, I gotta go, try and keep Sans off of me as long as possible. I'll be watching." After a wave goodbye, Ansaksie teleported away.

"Bye…" And with that, after sending a friend request to StrongFish91 (which was actually Undyne's username), Iji…went back to Gerson's to purchase food for Ansaksie, and then took the boat back to Snowdin to get some Bisicles from the shop there before finally returning to Hotland to re-enter the Lab and exit it from the other side. Oh, and she wrote a note and put it in the Dimensional Box A to ask Ansaksie to not touch the stuff in it.

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, Sea Tea

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

[Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty] [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Iji found herself at a narrow path with a sharp left turn. Before she could take a few steps out, she received a notification.

"ALPHYS updated status. just realized i didn't watch undyne fight the human v.v"

And then just before the corner, another notification appeared.

"ALPHYS updated status. well i know she's unbeatable i'll ask her abt it later ^.^"

And not a few steps after that, yet another notification appeared.

"ALPHYS updated status. for now i gotta call up the human and guide them. =^.^="

"Strongfish91 has accepted your friend request."

Oh, so this is like Twitter. And nice that Undyne has accepted. Iji decided to put a status update of her own. "NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Undyne was strong, Alphys. But not enough to handle Hotland's heat with her armor. Don't worry. ;) She's all right. I took her home. Call her just in case."

"TDZCora42 updated status. What does that symbol - the ;) - mean? I'm not familiar with that custom."

Looks like Ansaksie is using the social network, too. "NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Those are emoticons. They're mean to represent facial expressions like a smile :) or a frown :( ."

"TDZCora42 updated status. I see. Perhaps you could tell me all about these emoticons."

Around this time, Iji has found herself in front of two conveyer belts going in opposite directions. Pipes ejecting green flames marked the entrance/exit. And a monster was strolling against the left belt leading further in.

She identified the monster as a Vulkin, which resembled a volcano, with the conical structure that is a common characteristic of such lava-erupting landforms. Lava can be seen leaking from its crown, and little puffs of smoke can be seen spewing out steadily. Its had its eyes closed, and a permanent blush was on its smiling face.

Right. The first thing I'll have to arrange terms on concerns these fellows.

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. I'll talk later. About to run into a monster. Can't use the social network while doing so."

With that, Iji went to the left conveyer belt and ran into the Vulkin as it made a smoke hoop and it jumped over it, prompting her SOUL to glow.

Upon noticing Iji, Vulkin turned around and said, "Thunder! Helpful speed up!" From its crater emerged a smiling cloud that fired bolts at a wide angle toward her, the bolts separating more the farther they travel. After she got hit by one bolt, not only did it actually feel like electricity, it seemed to speed her up somehow, making evading the other bolts a little harder.

Once that was done, Iji went closer to Vulkin, knelt down to its level as soon as the two reached the end of the conveyer belt, and said, "Vulkin, I know you think your lava helps, but…while I don't know if that's true for monsters, it's not helpful to humans."

Despite not trying to be mean, this seemed to hurt Vulkin greatly as its expression turned extremely lonely. "Ahh… Not… helping? Okay…" And it decided not to attack.

Feeling bad for Vulkin, Iji decided to give it a hug to cheer it up. Thanks to her Nanofield, the heat it was giving off did not harm her at all. The little volcano smiled again, its eyes turning to heart-shapes somehow.

"Ahh…so…LOVEY!" it said as two columns of lava materialized from two sides and shot fireballs from these that converged onto Iji's position before returning to the lava sides they came from. Vulkin in her arms since she forgot to let go, she dodged all of the attacks.

"If you could spread the word about me and what I said, Vulkin, that would be nice," Iji requested as she put the monster down.

"Yes! Will help! Here!" Vulkin spewed out a pouch of coins from its volcano inside. It seemed to be fireproof, though, and it chucked the pouch on the nearby ground. "See ya!" It then began to waddle off down that path.

Staring at Vulkin's coin pouch, Iji opened her Phone and taught Ansaksie about emoticons as she picked it up, then followed where Vulkin went…which was to yet another pair of conveyer belts, except they both zigzagged like snakes. Just as she reached the middle point between the two pairs of belts…

"ALPHYS updated status. gonna call them in a minute! =^.^="

As she reached the belt that would take her forward, Iji 'tweeted', "NanoAnomaly75 updated status. To TDZCora42: TTYL. Talk to you later. To ALPHYS: Why not call now?"

"ALPHYS updated status. later. u have not reached the first puzzle yet. um, who's TDZCora42?"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. She's the friend I gave the second phone to."

"ALPHYS updated status. i see. where is she?"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Not telling, sorry. She's…the shy type. I'm her only friend as far as I know."

"TDZCora42 updated status. Does the "To" sign indicate who you're talking to?"

Iji finally disembarked the belt and continued northward, which showed several small "islands", glowing lava, and what seemed to be steam vents meant for transport, not that Iji needed those with her Jump upgrades. "NanoAnomaly75 updated status. To TDZCora42: That's right. Kinda helpful when you're talking with multiple people at once"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Normally, I'd use the 'at symbol', which is a lowercase letter 'a' within a circle, but I'm not permitted by this service."

"ALPHYS updated status. so i can't be friends with her? v.v"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. That's up to her, unfortunately, ALPHYS."

Just as she reached the vent though, Iji saw something headed her way.

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. TTYL. Another monster about to battle me. IIRC, I believe it's a Tsunderplane." She cracked a smile. Ahaha. A "tsundere" plane monster.

Flying towards Iji was what appeared to be a very small (for an airplane) Airbus A340-300 wearing a pink mob cap with thin ribbons on it. Her "face" also sported a faint blush.

"Hmph! Don't get in my way!" the aircraft monster said as another Fight began and Iji's SOUL glowed. Then, despite not having anywhere to hold missiles, Tsunderplane "launched" small planes from its turbines somehow which began flying straight over Iji and dropping bombs at her position.

She did her best to evade their points of impact and the pillars of smoke they produced once she found out they hurt as much as the bombs, and used her Resonance Reflector to repel the attacks; there was no point in hiding that anymore, with Undyne as witness and Alphys and Mettaton knowing through surveillance observing the fight at the crag. So far, only that and the Resonance Detonator have been witnessed, and she only remembered using the Shotgun one on her first Fight in the Ruins to scare off a Forggit and Whimsun and once against the Mad Dummy. No other Nanoweapons have been used, though surveillance (and eyewitnesses) has shown Iji's feats of strength.

While Iji hasn't watched a lot of animé, the Phone suggested—apart from Check—Flirt, and Approach. From what she's watched, she knew that being direct with a tsundere character was unwise, so she decided to approach Tsunderplane as she followed suit, but not too close.

"Eeeeh? H-human…?" Tsunderplane's flight was getting a little jittery as she "launched" more planes straight at Iji, which were bigger this time, and had big green auras surrounding them. Given that green auras always came with benefits, she reached out to these auras without touching the plane attacks themselves. And each time she did, Tsunderplane began to (somehow) blush deeper and deeper. "I-i-it's not like I like you or anything!"

"I'm not asking you to. I just want to continue on without you or others like you trying to hurt me."

Tsunderplane seemed to think on it as she circled Iji like a buzzard. "Okay. But not because you asked or anything!" And then, for some inexplicable reason, she shrunk into the size of a collector's model airplane and flew off. "Baka!" she fired off before disappearing.

With her out of the way, Iji took the path with the vent, but obviously did not use it. Seeing a path leading north, and a path leading south. She decided to take the latter, jumping across the gaps with ease.

The area consisted of a vent switching back and forth between left and right, and conveyer belts looping all the way back to it. There was also a belt leading to it from somewhere further south, but it wasn't possible for Iji to traverse there unless she jumped her way against the belt, and she wasn't willing to risk falling into the lava. A burnt frying pan can also be found to the left, which she immediately went over to pick up and place in her Phone to check it.

According to her Phone, which turns out to have a feature that describes items (an upgrade from Alphys), told her that the Pan heals an extra 4 HP whenever its holder consumes a food item. Given that she doesn't want to fight anyway, Iji decided to take it out and hold onto it, keeping her Nanogun holstered, and made her way back to the previous area and moving northward.

But she was waylaid by another monster. It had a fireball with a smile for a head, had a coil of rope that wound smaller on the way down to its disembodied feet. The compendium file called this one a Pyrope.

The compendium advised turning up the heat to satisfy it, but Iji had no idea where to find a thermostat in the Underground like it suggested.

"Feel the heat," the Pyrope said as he lobbed bombs at her. They were easy to step aside, and the Resonance Reflector got them out of range of her and the Pyrope.

"Say, Pyrope. I don't know how much hotter it can get in Hotland with the magma below us, and while I can set your body on fire, I really, really, don't want to kill you."

"You can light me up?!" the fire monster said. "Even better! Only thing that'll put me out is too much cold and getting hit."

"So setting you ablaze doesn't count?"

"No, siree!"

"All right." After taking out a lighter, (the type with the long tube, not the tiny type), the Pyrope approached and let itself be set on fire.

"Hot! HOT! Hotter! HOTTER!" he screamed as ropes emerged from behind his body and connect behind him. Well, they stopped short and orange flames manifested between the ends. Pyrope then began to swing and jump like it was a jump rope…and the rope was headed straight to Iji. Knowing monster bodies hurt more when attacking than fire does (and the Nanofield protects against fire), Iji side-stepped so that her SOUL would pass through it.

When she received damage, which burnt like she remembered from so long ago when she scalded herself one time, she realized the "flames" weren't actual fire but looked like a monster's attack. But what did she need to do to not get hurt by those attacks. Body and white attacks damage on contact, blue attacks only damage moving SOULs, …what if orange attacks required something different?

When the Pyrope's 'attack' made its next pass through her, Iji was swinging her body…and her HP didn't decrease. Maybe moving through these attacks is what I needed to do to get past them unharmed. She managed to do the same with the next attacks before he finally stopped.

"Nice you're satisfied, but I need to go," she said to the Pyrope. "I'm on Mettaton's show right now, and I don't think he appreciates me being late."

"Right!" said the rope-coil-and-fire amalgam. "Have some Gold for the road!" After handing over a Gold pouch, the Pyrope skipped away, allowing Iji to continue after picking up the Gold.

Upon entering the other path past the steam vents, Iji came to another path that veered to the right, which was barred with orange and blue lasers and consisted of pipes rather than stone, making keeping a steady footing there difficult. Soon after stepping into the room, the Phone rang.

"Hi, Alphys," Iji answered.

"Oh! Um, hi!" She seemed to be surprised.

"Just guessing here, but do the blue lasers work like blue monster attacks?"

"Um, yes."

Iji decided to make a guess from what she learned in her Fight with the Pyrope. "And do the orange ones hurt me only when I stop moving?"

"Um…yes."

"How much moving exactly do I have to do for orange attacks to count me as moving? Will standing and waving my arms count?"

"N-no. It tracks your SOUL's movement, so you'll have to at least be walking for it to count."

"I see. Thanks, Alphys."

"You're welcome. Uhh, bye!"

A few seconds after she hung up, Iji received a message.

"ALPHYS updated status. OMG I DID IT! claws haven't shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather… v.v"

Weather? She decided to call the monster in question, then decided not to, connecting the dots: just as Alphys has a crush on Undyne, it may also hold true the other way around.

Setting that aside, Iji walked past the first two lasers, which were orange. She could easily destroy them, but not only was that inappropriate, it wasn't part of the script.

"ALPHYS updated status. WAIT THERE'S NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME"

The next few lasers were easy. A simple moving blue laser, another orange, two more moving blues, then another orange. A bit of walking and waiting later, Iji was finally on the other side, where there was a switch ahead. She pressed it, and the lasers behind her stopped, allowing for an easy backtrack.

The next area consisted of the path veering upward before becoming an intersection, with vents to help smaller people across. There was also a message from the social network.

"ALPHYS posted a picture. CUte PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^.^"

Iji looked at the attached image. It depicted a garbage can with several pink, glittery filters over it. This worried her and she replied back.

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. To ALPHYS: Please don't think of yourself as trash. :("

"TDZCora42 updated status. I see you're done with the monster. What does 'IIRC' mean?"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Oh, sorry. It means 'if I recall correctly'."

As Iji continued to chat with Ansaksie about abbreviations and emoticons, she glanced ahead of her and saw a large gate that seemed to be specially locked, with two dimly-lit red sets of lights. She them remembered something Toriel said long ago, regarding puzzles. The center vent was also rotating clockwise in four directions.

A call then came from the Phone, interrupting her chat with the Komato.

It was Alphys. "A-A-Alphys here! Th… the northern door will stay locked until you… S-solve the puzzle on the right and left! I… I think you sh-should g-g-go to the right first!"

"What kind of puzzles are they?" Iji replied.

"Oh! They're just shooting puzzles. You have a limited amount of shots. You try and move blocks aside so you can hit the opposing ship. I'm sure you can figure out the rest."

"Okay. Thanks, Alphys. I'll call again if I need your help."

"Thanks! Bye."

Iji then sent, "NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Sorry. That was ALPHYS on the phone. I got some puzzles to solve. TTYL."

"TDZCora42 updated status. Okay. I'm at Waterfall right now. Just saw Undyne heading for the River Person and their transport. No idea where she's going."

Iji traversed to the right path, where she could find two monsters sitting on the ground. One was dragon-esque humanoid with a business suit, and the other was a black wisp-esque humanoid with an undershirt and green pants and was holding a cup of coffee.

More intel on life in the Underground couldn't hurt, so Iji decided to greet them and ask what they're doing there.

"The way to work is blocked, so I had time to catch Mettaton's show on my phone," the dragon-esque monster answered. "The special effects were amazing today! That human almost looked real! Of course, an experienced viewer like me knows CGI when they see it…"

She couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Still, those things she said have me concerned. I hope Mettaton's show is going somewhere with this."

So it looks like he's released the interview video. She turned to the other guy.

"Mettaton?" he guessed she was about to ask, which was incorrect. "Yeah, he's the most popular star in the underground! His fan club probably has at least two… no, three dozen members! And that's not even counting me!"

"That few?" Iji commented. "I was certain he had hundreds."

"Those are just casual fans. I'm talking about real fanmonsters!"

"…Oookay. I'll leave you two be. I'm just gonna open the door."

"Take your time, gal."

With that, she went to the doorway opposite them leading to the puzzle room…which showed a huge screen depicting white boxes, black boxes, and two arrowheads depicting ships like in Asteroids. A joystick and button were also in front of the screen, being the buttons to help solve the puzzle, and to her right was a disembodied fox head with disembodied black shoes.

"The door leading through the area is closed?" he said. "So I tried the puzzle? But I kept running out of ammo, and it kept restarting? And my two co-workers won't help? It's like they don't even wanna go to work?"

Iji realized he wasn't asking, but that his way of speaking just comes off like that, then moved to operate the puzzle. As soon as her hands were on the console, two upside-down symbols appeared next to the ship. So these depict my ammo. I only have these many shots to solve the puzzle. Moving the joystick, she moved one of the black boxes out of the way (the white ones stayed in place), then shot once to destroy the other one, and then shot again to destroy the ship, which broke in half. A CONGRATULATIONS! then appeared above the area with the boxes. Okay. Looks like I took care of that.

"Wow? You solved it?" the fox head was impressed. "I'm impressed? You must be a total nerd?"

"You're welcome," she replied before leaving and then turning to her right. She also noticed that the puzzle room's upside-down heart above its entrance was now lit up. As she made her way to the other puzzle room, she saw that one set of lights on the door was now glowing green. Progress.

The area ahead was just like the one on the right, except mirrored, had two different monsters (females, judging by their school uniforms [and later voices], one of them a purple-skinned skateboarder, and another a fire one like Grillby but green), and a blue laser. Iji decided to jump over it, and did so with ease, though her phone rang while she was mid-air. Upon landing on the other side, she answered, guessing it was Alphys.

"Alphys! Here!" It was. "Th-that blue laser seems totally impassable! B-b-but!"

Iji decided to cut her off. "Already made it past. Check the cameras if there are any. But please turn off the laser anyway. There are two monsters stuck here."

A few seconds of silence, and the laser was deactivated. "O-oh! All right, then!" And the call ended.

Shrugging it off, she decided to call out to the monster girls. "You're free to go. If you need to get past the closed door, I'll have that open in a moment."

"Finally!" said the green fire girl. "Someone turned off that laser! Now that we're free we can… well, I guess we'll just keep standing here."

"We were hanging out when suddenly, a buncha puzzles reactivated out of nowhere. This is a huge problem… It rules! They've GOTTA cancel school over this! Wait a second… Auuuugh, it's summer vacation!"

Shaking her head, Iji went into the puzzle room. It was the same as before, except there were more blocks in the puzzle, and no disembodied fox head monster. It was a little harder, but nothing she can't handle. She then left the room, and made her way to the door, whose light were now all green. Upon seemingly detecting her presence, it parted and allowed her to pass, which she did.

She was greeted with a small pathway, and a steam vent pointing to the left, as well as three more platforms with more of these vents, and a lime-shaded floor with several large dots further ahead. Iji then decided to notify Alphys.

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. ALPHYS Passed the door with the shooting puzzles."

"ALPHYS updated status. good! =^.^= mettaton's up ahead"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Thanks for the heads-up."

And then the phone rang with a call. It was from Papyrus.

"I HEARD YOU GOT TO MEET METTATON!"

Another voice came. "Really? Careful, that dude gives me bad vibes."

Iji was a little surprised. That was Undyne. "WH-WHAT? BUT HE'S SO POPULAR…"

"I don't care about people just because they're popular."

"WELL, YOU CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE POPULAR."

"Pssshhht, what!? Popular with WHO?"

"YOU'RE POPULAR WITH ME!"

"Awww… Papyrus, you're popular with me, too."

"AWW, WOWIE! WAIT… DOES THAT MEAN YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME…?"

"Undyne?" Iji inserted. "What are you doing with Papyrus?"

"I decided to check up on him," the piscine monster replied. "And continue teaching him how to cook spaghetti."

She remembered what Ansaksie notified her regarding the captain; if Papyrus is still at Snowdin, Undyne must've taken the River Person's raft to go there. "I see. In case I haven't told you yet, I'm on Mettaton's show right now."

"WOWIE! YOU'RE ON TV?!"

"Wish me luck. I'm clad in yellow-and-blue armor I got from Temmie Village, so you can pick me out. And tell Undyne I'm coming for her if her cooking burns your house down."

"ALL RIGHT! BYE NOW!"

"Wait, what did she just—" Undyne tried to say before the call ended.

Iji then hopped across the platforms to reach the lime floor ahead, taking care to avoid the vents as while she's too heavy to be lifted by them, they're strong enough to screw with her jumps. And then she continued to the 'stage' ahead.

The next area was completely dark, but thankfully there were magical railings to keep anybody from falling over. As was in the script, Alphys called.

"H-hey, it's kind of dark in there, isn't it? Don't worry! I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!"

The lights went on, and it was revealed that she was now in a kitchen complete with fridge, stove, sink, countertops, and everything that comes with it. One of those countertops had a carton of eggs, a carton of milk, and a bag of flour. Another of these countertops had a microwave, and above that was a cupboard. There was also a faux-window with curtains and a clear blue sky and clouds, and it gave her another pang of sadness; that was the same sky she saw right before the Tasen hit the planet with their Alpha Strike.

"Oh no," moaned Alphys. This was scripted, too.

The countertop opposite the 'window' was the one with the sink, and also had a chopping board, a cleaver, a kitchen knife, a bowl, and (weirdly) a hunk of cheese. And then from a secret hatch on the floor, Mettaton surfaced with a chef's hat.

"OHHH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIER COOKING SHOW!" He paused for a while as the title screen appeared on the audience's TVs. "PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING…A CAKE! MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. EVERYONE GIVE HER A BIG HAND!"

He applauded as confetti fell in front of Iji, some distance away from the countertop, leaving them to fall into the lava way below.

"WE'LL NEED SUGAR, MILK, AND EGGS. GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART!"

Iji promptly did as Mettaton asked, but took her time doing so as was part of the script as he began to advertise two of the appliances onstage.

"OH YES! MTT-BRAND OVENS CAN REACH TEMPERATURES TO NONE-THOUSAND DEGREES! ROASTING! TOASTING! BURNING! CHARRING! YOU'RE EXCITED, AREN'T YOU, DARLING? (TM)"

As he spoke, she picked up the items, realizing they are just props. She also wondered if they somehow had chickens and cows here or some other monster equivalent for them to make food like this.

"MTT-BRAND MICROWAVE! ORIGIN OF THE MTT CHALLENGE! PUT YOUR FOOD IN AND SET THE MICROWAVE ON HIGH FOR FIVE MINUTES… IF YOU CAN STILL RECOGNIZE YOUR MEAL, WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK!"

With those ads over, she set all the items down on the countertop Mettaton was at.

"PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE! MILK… SUGAR… EGGS… OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!" From below the countertop, he produced a chainsaw. "A HUMAN SOUL!"

He then proceeded the inch his way closer to Iji, who just looked at the thing impassively. It was a physical item, and wasn't using magical energy, so her Nanofield should render this useless. She found herself reaching out to it with her hand (which was not according to script), and Mettaton responded by raising it out of reach, but acting as if he was just rearing it up, preparing to bring it down.

Suddenly, but expectedly, Mettaton's steely advance was halted by a phone call. "HELLO…? I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE." And his faux-annoyance was showing.

"W-wait a second!" It was Alphys. "Couldn't you make a… Couldn't you use a… Couldn't you make a substitution in the recipe?!"

"…A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, USE A DIFFERENT, NON-HUMAN INGREDIENT? …WHY?"

"Uhh, what if someone's… … Vegan?"

"…VEGAN."

"Uh well I mean—"

"THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, ALPHYS! ACTUALLY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPTION RIGHT HERE! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE! A CAN OF WHICH… IS JUST OVER THERE ON THAT COUNTER!" To his left, leading further into Hotland, there it indeed was. "WELL, DARLING? WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT?"

Nodding, Iji immediately broke into a run just as the counter seemed to lower and shake. Just as she managed to grab it, she found it was stuck, and the counter ascended in a fast rate. (4)

"WELL, WELL, WELL," commented Mettaton as he flew up to her level, since she hadn't let go of the can. He also spoke in a low voice. "YOU SEEM TO BE HANGING IN THERE."

"Ha, ha," Iji can't help but reply sardonically. "I wasn't meant to reach the can, was I?"

"OUR LAST STAR WAITED WHEN THEY NOTICED THE COUNTER MOVE. WE DIDN'T ACCOUNT FOR YOUR RUNNING SPEED."

"Well, I'm pretty tall, even for a human my age."

"CONSEQUENCES OF BREAKING THE SCRIPT. BUT ALSO CONSEQUENCES OF FAILING TO ANTICIPATE THIS."

After adjusting the script to account for Iji's actions, Mettaton stopped the counter so Iji can go down it. She also discovered that Alphys had put a jetpack function into her phone just for this cooking show segment. So perhaps she can use this another time. This function wasn't in Ansaksie's phone, though.

Once Mettaton has explained what he needed to explain to the audience before leaving, Iji glanced back to the kitchen to see if there was anything she could take with her…and saw a familiar something sink back into the ground.

Uh-oh! How long as Flowey been following me for?! Just what is his agenda? Surely he knows what I'm doing. Maybe Ansaksie is right; I will need to kill him for the sake of the peace I wish for monsters, humans, and Tasen. I should tell her about this. Taking out her phone, she made a call.

"Ansaksie, are you busy?"

"I've managed to evade him for now. I'm telling you he's deceptively powerful, but I think it's offset by his laziness. Be careful around him."

"I see. Do you remember the talking flower you met?"

"Yes?"

"His name is Flowey, and he's very dangerous. He may have to die if peace is to be brokered. Can you help me when that time comes?"

"…Sure thing, Iji. But you better be certain before you do. I only kill when I absolutely need to, and I won't have a dead innocent on my conscience."

"Don't worry, I will. Good luck on evading Sans."

"Mm-hmm." And the call was ended.

With that taken care on, Iji continued onward, leaving the patterned floor and returning to the rocky ground as she made her way to the next area, which comprised of a long path with a view of an ominous structure looming to her left. Another call came and she answered.

"S-see that building in the distance?" It was Alphys.

"Yeah?" Iji replied.

"That's the Core. The source of all power for the underground. In converts geothermal energy into magical electricity, by—"

"No need to explain, I get the gist. This could really help in rebuilding our world."

"Are things really that bad up there? It's still kinda hard to believe."

"Yeah. Ironically, the Barrier that's trapped you all has protected you. But it's long since served its purpose. Time for monsters to rejoin humanity, but not before arranging some terms so that war won't break out again. That's the last thing we all need."

"I see. Uhh, anyway, the Core's where we're going to go. In there is an elevator directly to Asgore's castle. And from there, after negotiating with the King, you can go home."

"Thanks, Alphys. Talk to you later." She ended the call as she continued walking, eventually reaching what seemed to be an elevator. But aside from looking like it traverses a pipe, and the usual lift buttons, the sign on top of the elevator read R1.

Iji pushed one of the elevator buttons and it opened immediately. She then saw the buttons inside didn't lead to conventional floors. Right now, while she can see three Left and Right Floors, the only ones currently available were Left Floor 1, Right Floor 1, and Right Floor 2.

She decided to check Left Floor 1 first.

The elevator seemed to move at first like a conventional elevator, but then she felt it move sideways for a bit before resuming its conventional feel and then stopping and opening. She found herself facing the other side of the place the two Hotland royal guards used to block off. Satisfied with what she saw, she returned inside and selected Right Floor 2.

Upon exiting the door, she found a pathway to her right and to the left a dead end with a small flame monster.

"Heh," it said. "I'm Heats Flamesman. Remember my name!"

"You certain there are no others like you in Hotland?" Iji asked.

"You'll know when I ask you when we meet again."

"Okay."

And with that, she proceeded to the next area…and found (apart from a Vulkin and one other monster enjoying hotdogs) Sans manning a hotdog stand on his station. And there was still snow on the roof. Maybe I should tell him about Ansaksie, she thought as she bypassed the monster she didn't recognize. She looked like a cyan harpy with a bird head, a pink dress, and was clearly well-endowed compared to Iji or Undyne; Alphys was short and hunched over, so she wouldn't know about her, and Toriel's robes hid quite a lot of her figure.

"I love hot dogs! Hey… Isn't it weird there's snow on that guy's roof? …guess he's just too lazy to clean it off."

"Can't be snow," Iji commented. "It should've melted long ago this deep in Hotland." She then reached Sans's station. "Hi, Sans."

"hey buddy, what's up? wanna buy a hot dog? it's 30g."

"Sure." Forking over 30 Gold, she got hers. However, she then found that the 'meat' of the Hot Dog was made of a "water sausage" before putting it inside her Phone.

"thanks, iji. yeah. 'dog. apostrophe-dog. it's short for hot-dog."

"This ain't a hotdog. This is more like a cattail-dog. Please don't scam like this, unless monster like these and don't care."

"guess i can't get anything past you, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. Another thing." She leaned in closer and spoke in a hushed tone. "There's this friend of mine who says you've been following. Might as well let you know, because I don't want you to kill her or out her to the guards."

"who's this friend of yours?"

"Ansaksie, same species as the aliens who attacked this planet, but she's a good guy, or at least has no reason to kill monsters without reason, like being pursued. She's just watching over me just like you say you are over me. Please tell no one of this. I'll vouch for her."

Sans winked in response. "okie, dokie. i'd still like to meet her, though, and see for myself."

"Maybe I can arrange a meeting."

"mtt-resort. it's close to the core."

"All right. See you later."

"later." (5)

"Before I go, can I get your username?"

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty]

After getting Sans's user name (anonymus), Iji continued walking. As she reached a side path to her left, she swore she could barely see a path leading to the right. Taking out the stick, Iji approached where this path might be and prodded it. It was solid enough. She then swept the stick left and right to determine width. It was wide enough for her to cross safely.

Despite the fall should she miss, Iji decided to pass through it, finding it can hold her weight. Eventually, she reached a weird small area flanked with three platforms with cacti. There was also a sign in the middle.

Art Club: Meet here! Next meeting: October 10th 8PM

Iji checked her watch, and saw that it was indeed October 10, and it was a few hours before them. Whoa. I've been here for only 3 days? The Underground must be smaller than I thought. She then heard the sound of footsteps.

"Ahhh! I'm late! I'm late! I'm so sorry!"

Immediately turning around. She found a monster rushing right into her. It was a primarily orange dinosaur or kangaroo-esque monster with brown accents, a white bottom, and light brown hair, donned a gray vest and a cowboy hat. He was barely a foot shorter than her, and she was able to brace herself so as not to fall over. It also helped that she had physical armor in addition to her Nanofield.

The monster pulled itself off of her and for some reason a Fight began as indicated by Iji's now-glowing SOUL.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! How clumsy of me… I've bumped into you," he said. "I'm such a klutz. I was just here to find something to draw, and… Oh no, it's ok! It's OK! I'll give you a give to make up for our troubles. Let me look in my vest!"

Before Iji could get a word in edgewise, he had already turned around, his tail swishing at her and glowing blue. She stood still and while it smacked her, it did not damage to her HP. When it glowed orange however, she knew she had to move or she could actually get hurt. But with the sign and the monster (which the Phone called So Sorry and described him as "This creature is definitely in the wrong time and space!") between her, that only left room to sidestep. The tail still smacked harmlessly, but she felt it rude to just leave him, so she stayed in the general vicinity.

"Say, what's your name?" she asked, but So Sorry seemed too preoccupied to hear as he turned to face her.

"Ummm, I couldn't find anything I want to give away." And then he came up with an idea. "Wait, wait!" He then produced an item. "I've got my notebook! I can draw you a picture in it! I'm quite the artist, you know. I'll draw you a great picture!" And with that, he turned around again and swished his tail at her again. And again she moved (or not moved) accordingly until he turned around again.

"S…sorry… The drawing didn't come out very well," he said.

"I can't tell if you haven't even shown it to me."

But he wasn't even listening. "Wait! I know the problem! I just have to find a better piece of paper for it!" Once again, he turned around, but this time he was tossing huge crumpled balls of paper her way, and getting hit by one of them actually brought her HP down a bit! She stepped back a bit during this so she can use the Resonance Reflector without hurting So Sorry in the process.

"Could you please watch it?"

Eventually, he turned around again, ignoring what she just said. "None of my papers are good enough to use… IT'S OK! I know what I can do! I'll use my magic pencil! It has to be under some of these papers somewhere!" And then he turned around yet again and began chucking crumpled papers behind him, and always had his back to Iji even as she tried going around him. He seemed to be pretty self-conscious of others seeing his things.

Finally, he produced it as he turned around. "Here! I got it! My magic pencil is amazing! Everything I draw with it looks… completely real!" A flash then came from the pencil, and two Loox-shaped doodles materialized between him, leaving him surrounded by them, Iji, and the sign she had been cornered to previously. "Uuuuhhhh, oh no! That's a little too real!"

These "Doodlebogs", as the Phone called them, shot out rings of swirly…things and sent them straight for Iji. There was barely enough room to dodge them, but dodge them she did. And none of their attacks hit So Sorry in the process. Taking advantage of their brief moment of reprieve right after, she approached one of the Doodlebogs and kicked them off of the area and into the depths below. She did have to draw a line to her pacifism somewhere; being constructs, these Doodlebogs can't be more "alive" than Tasen Turrets, Komato Skycrashers, or Sentinel Proxima.

"AHHHHH!" So Sorry continued screaming as the other Doodlebog (named Doodlebog C) attacked faster this time, still managing to avoid hitting its creator in the process. Iji was already onto it and punted it away just like the other one.

"I've messed up. I've really messed up." So Sorry was lamenting. "Oh no. I'll just use a regular pencil! I'll try my best!" He turned his back on her once more as he chucked more crumpled paper and swished his tail. Thankfully, upon hitting the ground, the papers ceased to be attacks that could hurt Iji. By this point, she decided to wait until he was done rambling.

Once again, he turned around. "Are you ready!? I just finished!" He then produced his notebook." "Here's your picture! What do you think!?" It was a red heart shape, just like her SOUL. "It's a representation of your deepest essence… It's great, right!?"

She had to admit it actually was.

"They think my art is terrible," she then heard himself whisper to himself, then he put away his notebook. "Well! I'll leave you with that thought! Goodbye! See you later! Sayonara! Nice knowing ya! Hasta la vista." But he wasn't moving yet. "I should leave."

Getting tired of this, Iji decided to grab him by the shoulder. "Wait."

"Wh-wh-what?!" he yelped.

"I'm not sure if you've watched Mettaton's show or not, but I'm a human, but I also come in peace. Can you please tell your club that? And if you have an account in the UnderNet, can we be friends there?"

After saying goodbye to Samael D. Butterdragon (So Sorry's real name), getting his username (SoSorrySamael), and telling him he was actually way too early to the meeting, after getting back to the main path, Iji decided to make a call.

The called person answered. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Ansaksie. I'm sorry, but I just want you to know that I've notified Sans of you. I didn't want you to end up killing him if he does find you, or you dying to him if he's as dangerous as you say he is. I've already vouched for you."

There were a couple of seconds of silence. After a while, she replied. "You must have thought hard on this. Do know that if you are wrong about this, either he will die, or I will die. I hope you've come to terms with that."

"I know. Thank you for hearing me out. I hope it doesn't come to you two meeting."

"I'll do what I can. See you later."

"Bye." And the call ended. After pulling her phone away from her ear, she found the following notifications were up.

"ALPHYS posted a picture. dinner with the girlfriend ;)"

The attached image depicted a catgirl figurine next to a bowl of instant noodles.

"CoolSkeleton95 posted a picture. ARE WE POSTING HOT "PICS?" HERE IS ME AND MY COOL FRIEND"

The next attached picture was of Papyrus flexing in front of a mirror and wearing sunglasses. Giant muscular biceps were pasted onto his arms, and those were also 'wearing' sunglasses.

"ALPHYS updated status. LOL, CoolSkeleton95! …that's a joke, right?

"CoolSkeleton95 updated status. THE ONLY JOKE HERE IS HOW STRONG MY MUSCLES ARE."

Iji decided to join in on the fun, walked partway back the way she came, accessed the camera function, took a picture of herself (making sure to catch Sans's hot dog station in the background), then sent it before walking forward again.

"NanoAnomaly75 posted a picture. Just now in Hotland, Right Floor 2."

"ALPHYS updated status. is that snow on that station? 0.o how does that even work?"

"CoolSkeleton95 updated status. WHAT? MY BROTHER'S ACTUALLY AT HIS STATION?"

"StrongFish91 updated status. What? I thought he only had three stations."

"CoolSkeleton95 updated status. NO, HE HAS… AT LEAST FOUR?"

"StrongFish91 updated status. Who the heck keeps hiring this guy?"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. To StrongFish91: No clue. And nice to meet you too, Undyne. Well, GTG. Have to make it to the next place Mettaton's show is taking me."

With that, she pocketed her phone and took the left side path, which led to a dead end, as well as what looked like a small brown-and-pink stained apron.

This apron and the pan I have belong to yet another child, doesn't it? That makes five. Undyne said six SOULs have been taken already. I wonder what items were the last one's?

Before she could approach the apron, she received a notification from her phone.

"NAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you a friend request. Accept the request?" Oh, it's Napstablook. Before Iji could move to accept it, it seemed to have already rejected itself.

Hmm… After sending a friend request herself to Napstablook, she went over to the apron, picked it up, and stored it in her satchel. She had to admit it was a little hard to do so after having had to rearrange it and her Nanogun holster to put on the Temmie Armor, but she managed.

Iji's Phone Inventory:

Cinnamon Bunny, Dog Salad, Dog Residue, Instant Noodles, Hot Dog…?, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Box Storage/Dimensional Box A:

Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie, Snowman Piece, Old Tutu, Cloudy Glasses, Sea Tea, Spider Donut, Note from Iji, [Empty], [Empty]

Satchel Inventory:

Supplies, Canteen, Water-Purifying Pills, Flashlight, Pen, Tasen Logbook, Flares, Stick, Barbs of Wire, Bookmark, Box of Raisins, Toy Knife, Worn Glove, Worn Glove, Manly Bandanna, Ballet Shoes, Bag Of Misc. Junk, Torn Notebook, Stained Apron

Dimensional Box B:

Beans Can, Spaghetti, Bisicle, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty], [Empty]

Ansaksie's Phone Inventory:

Abandoned Quiche, Crab Apple, Bisicle, Bisicle, Cinnamon Bunny, Sea Tea, [Empty], [Empty]

Getting back to the main path, Iji found herself looking at two conveyer belts, and the one leading forward had three switches. And then the Phone rang, which she answered.

"H…hi…! It's Dr. Alphys. This p-puzzle is kinda… um… timing-based. Y-you see those switches over there? Y-you'll have to press all three of them within 3 seconds."

"What's blocking me that requires me to flip those switches?"

"A force field. It's pretty deadly, and it doesn't turn visible until a SOUL gets close, but not close enough. And given that magic attacks go through your Nanofield, I'm not sure if you can bypass it easily."

"I see. Thanks."

"I'll t-try to help you with the rhythm!"

"No need. I think I can handle it."

"O-o-okay." And like that the call was over. Prepping herself to the switch-flipping, Iji made sure the switches were in reach, then marched along the corridor, following Alphys' instructions efficiently. Then, she proceeded to the path that was allegedly blocked and was able to cross it.

The next area was a complex-looking one. It contained seven pillars of steam vents with five floor panels on four of the pillars and the starting position. A conveyer belt heading the other way made for an easy back-track after solving it, but Iji didn't trust the vents to account for her weight, so—after re-evaluatiing how high she can jump—she just decided to bound over the vents and onto the buttons in the center of them. She could also run against the conveyer belt, but she didn't trust her balance; landing her jumps was better.

Alphys didn't call the entire time, though that was because she knew she couldn't lie about the bathroom to Iji, and knew she wouldn't be fooled.

After making it to the other side, Iji continued walking.

Eventually, she found what looked like a microwave on the outside next to a formation of rock with a mouse hole. Upon closer inspection, the microwave was actually a computerized laser-safe protecting a piece of cheese, the edges of which have been melted by the laser.

After scrutinizing the cheese for safe edibility, Iji decided to try and crack the safe, just to make sure she wasn't getting rusty (even after she did help in making her second phone with Alphys). In a few seconds, she got the lasers deactivated, collected the cheese, and—after making extra-sure it was safe—popped it in her mouth to eat it.

She then received some status updates.

"ALPHYS updated status. OMG? ppl think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLLL that's a joke right…"

"ALPHYS updated status. omg… DONT THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC"

"ALPHYS updated status. My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy Nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 stars"

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. To ALPHYS: I'd like to see it sometime. Including the second so I can see for myself WHY you see it as trash."

"ALPHYS updated status. just watch the sequel w/o me, ok? i'll hand the cds over."

"NanoAnomaly75 updated status. Okay. Once I break the Barrier."

The next area consisted of a straight path with pipes and scaffolding to her right. Just before she could make it to the right turn ahead—

"Hey! You! Stop!" Iji turned around to see two familiar black armored guards walk over. Upon closer inspection, she could see one was draconic (and named RG 02 by the phone) and one was rabbit-like (and named RG 01). Their 'helmets' also showed their features, with 01's rabbit ears poking out, and 02's having draconic fins on the sides of his head.

Right. These two are still under Undyne's standing orders. "Anything I can help you with, officers?" Iji asked, hoping they would have no comment about her holstered Nanogun.

"We've like received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a striped shirt. They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now… I know, sounds scary, huh? Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you someplace safe, OK?"

"Actually, I'm on my way to the area ahead. I'm on Mettaton's show now. May I be escorted there instead?"

Rather than answer, 01 tapped 02 on the shoulder and pointed at Iji.

"Huh? What is it, bro?" asked 01. "The shirt they're wearing? …like, what about it?" 02 just pointed again. "Oh, under the armor?" 02 nodded.

Iji checked to see if the stripe was possibly visible, but it wasn't. The armor actually did cover her torso completely.

Wait, does 02 have x-ray vision or something? If that's true… oh, that pervert!

"…Bro… Are you thinkin… What I'm thinkin?" 01 turned to look at Iji again. "Bummer. this is, like… Mega embarrassing. We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff."

And then her SOUL began to glow; it was time for another fight, and the guards drew their sabers. She tried to calm herself down; retaliation for (potential) perverse actions wouldn't do her (or them) any good. Her Phone's Check advice was to whisper to their ears or polish their armor. How is this supposed to help me?

"Like, team attack!" said 01.

"…team attack." said 02 as they charged and swung their sabers down on Iji, who blocked both blades with the pan. Surprisingly, it held, though she would find out after the entire business with the Underground that the Nanofield not only covers clothing, but items like weapons as well; it's just that prior to entering the Underground, the only weapon she held after her conversion into a cyborg was her Nanogun.

The two broke off and swung again, this time attempting to catch her from both sides. Seeing the blades imbued with magical energy, she knew that trying to bare-hand block them would just result in her getting hurt, so she weaved to evade one and blocked the other with the pan. Brief memories of a Disney film flashed in her mind before she concentrated once more.

In the middle of evading and blocking sword swings, Iji's free hand brushed against 02's armor and came away with some kind of dirt on it. Remembering she read on cooling dirt being used by Hotland Royal Guards on the UnderNet, Iji began wiping that dirt off as she and the guards fought. ("Like, perish and stuff." "…getting…warmer.") 01's armor didn't have this dirt for some reason. Hopefully, 02 would get too sweaty, perhaps pass out, and she and 01 would have to carry him somewhere cool and she's be able to convince them to spare her.

Eventually…

"…can't…take it." 02 began to complain as he and 01 put some distance between them and Iji. " …armor…too…HOT!" After tinkering with some of the joints in the armor, 02 took his breastplate off. "…much better."

Iji found her face feeling flushed at the sight of 02's large muscular torso. And the scales added to the sex factor. And then she found 01 feeling the same way, with the sweat drops coming out of his helmet, as well as his obvious body language. …Oh…

Recovering from her hormonal urges first, Iji turned to 01 and gestured to 02.

"I… I…" 01 stammered before charging at Iji.

"… … what?" 02 asked before following suit.

The change in their attack patterns became very apparent. 01's attacks were becoming erratic as a result of his roiling emotions. After seeing his attacks were failing…

"D-dude… I can't… I can't take this anymore! Not like this!" 01 began to confess as he and 02 stepped away from Iji. "Like, 02! I like… I like, LIKE you, bro! The way you fight… The way you talk… I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, bouncing and waving our weapons in sync… 02… I, like, want to stay like this forever…

"… …." 02 seemed to be silent.

"Uh… I mean, uh… Whew, bro! That human put me, uh, under mind control! What was I just saying? It's a blur dude! Whoops!"

"I so did not do that," Iji deadpanned. "I'd do much more if I did."

"…01." 02 asked, ignoring the comment.

"Y-Yeah, bro?"

"… do you want to…get some ice cream…after this?"

"Sure dude! Haha!"

"02?" Iji inserted.

This broke them out of their conversation. "Hm?" said the draconic guard.

"How are you sure I have a striped shirt under the Temmie Armor?"

"I…can see through things. Helps find…illegal things."

"Did you…look further in?"

"…no. I've no interest in human girls."

He did not look there, he did not look there, your voice is identifiably feminine.

"Well, see ya later!" said 01. "Maybe we'll kill you later and stuff."

"Actually, Undyne doesn't want me dead anymore, but she knew if she said that you'd assume she was under mind control."

"…Yeah. We'd, like, totally think that."

"Why don't you head over to Snowdin and ask her personally?"

"We're…not allowed to leave our posts," explained 02. "As Hotland guards, we can only stay in Hotland until out shift ends."

"That's a bummer. Unless you have Undyne's number, I can't explain my case. Perhaps you'd like to come with me as guest stars for Mettaton's show?"

"Hmm…"

Now accompanied with two escorts as far as the rest of the Underground is concerned, after reapplying the cooling dirt on 02's armor and putting it back on, Iji proceeded further along the path, looking briefly at Alphys' posts in her phone before continuing on as it U-turned all the way to a dark area, just like before the kitchen segments.

"It's, like, dark in here." commented 01 as he held 02's hand as they walked behind Iji.

And then the Phone rang. To their credit, neither of them jumped in panic as the human took it out and answered it.

"Okay, I'm here!" said Alphys. "A-another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M-my hacking skills have got things covered!"

When the lights turned on, the three found themselves in a series of ground patches bridged by sets of pipes and green scaffolding. A wide conveyer belt, two steam vents, and a set of security lasers littered the area as well.

To her left was a platform with four rows of three rocks each, and nex to a huge pipe was a pink bomb with a timer.

Above and to their right was a set of cardboard props, with a small hole in the middle as if to focus on her. If she were to guess, perhaps it was to emulate a figure on TV in front of a camera.

In their immediate area was a white dog (the same one from other times before?), a basketball, a glass of water, a binder with plenty of pages, a video game case, and a gift box. This reeked of suspicion. It was also the scripted scenario, though they probably didn't plan for her unexpected escorts.

"Are you serious?" Alphys then whispered, "Keep it on speaker."

"OHHHHHH YESSS!" came Mettaton's voice from the other side of the cardboard, out of view. "GOOD EVENING, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! THIS IS METTATON, REPORTING LIVE FROM MTT NEWS! AN INTERESTING SITUATION HAS ARISEN IN EASTERN HOTLAND!"

"Keep calm, guys," Iji warned 01 and 02. "This is all just part of the show."

"FORTUNATELY, OUR CORRESPONDENT IS OUT THERE, REPORTING LIVE! AND SHE SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND HERSELF IN CUSTODY! HOTLAND ROYAL GUARDS 01 AND 02 ARE ON THE SCENE! BUT NEWS IS NEWS! BRAVE CORRESPONDENT! PLEASE FIND SOMETHING NEWSWORTHY TO REPORT! OUR TEN WONDERFUL VIEWERS ARE WAITING FOR YOU!"

"Only ten?" she wondered out loud. Right. The attack. Perhaps there aren't that many TVs. Shrugging, she said, "Let's check everything before we decide." As Iji went for the basketball, 01 went for the script while 02 went for the dog to pet it. The cardboard seemed to move in accordance to her position.

"BASKETBALL'S A BLAST, ISN'T IT, DARLING?" commented Mettaton. "TOO BAD YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH THESE BALLS. THEY'RE MTT-BRAND FASHION BASKETBALLS. FOR WEARING, NOT PLAYING. YOU CAN'T GET RICH AND FAMOUS LIKE MOI WITHOUT BEAUTIFYING A FEW ORBS."

Oh, so these are what Papyrus was wearing during our "date". Iji then went for the glass of water.

"OH MY! …IT'S A COMPLETELY NONDESCRIPT GLASS OF WATER. BUT ANYTHING CAN MAKE A GREAT STORY WITH ENOUGH SPIN!"

Iji bent down to sniff at it…and found a distinct scent. It was like bananas, but it gave her a little headache. Nitroglycerin? Bombs. She then stood up, "accidentally" tipping the glass over the edge, and then looking over to see it fall into the lava below…and explode long before reaching the molten rock.

"WELL, LOOKS LIKE THAT GLASS OF WATER WAS SO UNINTERESTING SHE PRACTICALLY THREW IT AWAY! WELL, THAT'S JOURNALISM, FOLKS!"

Ignoring that and bypassing 01 as he perused the binder, Iji checked out the video game.

"OHH LA LA! THIS VIDEO GAME YOU FOUND. IS DYNAMITE! THOUGH I DON'T MAKE AN APPEARANCE IN IT UNTIL THREE-FOURTHS IN. BUT I LIKE THAT. APPEARING FROM THE HEAVENS LIKE MANNA, SLAKING THE AUDIENCE'S HUNGER FOR GORGEOUS ROBOTS… OOH! THAT'S METTATON!"

Deciding not to choose this yet, Iji went to the gift box.

"OH MY! IT'S A PRESENT! AND IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, DARLING!" Checking the tag, it indeed was signed To: Iji Kataiser "AREN'T YOU JUST BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT? WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL, NO TIME LIKE THE "PRESENT" TO FIND OUT!"

"I think it's better to keep the folks in suspense," Iji said to herself as she went over to the dog, who was now being belly rubbed by 02.

"WHAT A SENSATIONAL OPPORTUNITY FOR A STORY! I CAN SEE THE HEADLINE NOW: "A DOG EXISTS SOMEWHERE." FRANKLY, I'M BLOWN AWAY."

"Hmm…nah." Iji got up and went for the binder 01 was nearing the middle of.

"OH NO! THAT MOVE SCRIPT! HOW'D? THAT GET THERE? IT'S A SUPER-JUICY SNEAK PREVIEW OF MY LATEST GUARANTEED-NOT-TO-BOMB FILM: METTATON THE MOVIE XXVIII... STARRING METTATON! I'VE HEARD THAT LIKE THE OTHER FILMS... IT CONSISTS MOSTLY OF A SINGLE FOUR-HOUR SHOT OF ROSE PETALS SHOWERING ON MY RECLINING BODY. OOH! BUT THAT'S! NOT CONFIRMED! YOU WOULDN'T—" He faux-coughed. "—SPOIL MY MOVIE FOR EVERYONE WITH A PROMOTIONAL STORY, WOULD YOU?"

Hmm. Now this is a juicy story. "Let's leak this script." She then turned to 01. "Lift it up and show it over there."

"Cool idea, man." 01 did as Iji said, closed the script, and presented it to the cardboard hole.

"ATTENTION, VIEWERS! OUR CORRESPONDENT'S ESCORT HAS FOUND… A MOVIE SCRIPT! OH MY! AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S FOR MY LATEST FILM! LET'S NOT KEEP THEM WAITING! LET'S OPEN IT UP AND GET THE SCOOP!"

01 opened the binder once more…and for some incomprehensible reason, a black round bomb like the one in cartoons appeared. And its fuse was lit, though it wasn't receding.

"OH? WHAT'S THAT INSIDE THE SCRIPT? THAT TICKING SOUND… THAT LIT FUSE… OH! LOOKS LIKE I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE MOVIE! WE DEFINITELY HAVE A BOX OFFICE BOMB ON OUR HANDS! AND IT'S ABOUT TO BLAST YOU TO BITS!"

Immediately panicking, 01 dropped the script off the edge of the platform. Despite the "danger", Iji couldn't help but chortle a bit from the pun.

"DON'T GET TOO EXCITED! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN THE REST OF THE ROOM YET!" The cardboard set then began to fall apart as Mettaton has revealed himself to be hovering, his back turned on the three as he addressed a camera Iji couldn't see. "OH MY! IT SEEMS EVERYTHING IN THIS AREA IS ACTUALLY A BOMB!" THe video game case was opened and showed sticks of dynamite. "THAT PRESENT'S A BOMB!"

The gift box opened to show a similar black bomb.

"THAT DOG'S A BOMB!"

Its tail turned into a fuse and 02 reeled back from it and joined 01 and Iji.

"THAT BASKETBALL'S A BOMB!"

The basketball's top flecked off like paint to show its black bomb self underneath, complete with fuse.

"EVEN MY WORDS ARE...!"

Mettaton trailed off and all of a sudden, word shapes came from above and dropped down on the area, creating tiny explosions upon impact. Iji could swear they looked like the very words Mettaton had been saying. (7)

"BRAVE CORRESPONDENT… IF YOU DON'T DEFUSE ALL OF THE BOMBS…" He then gestured to the pink one on the far left. "THIS BIG BOMB WILL BLOW YOU ALL TO SMITHEREENS IN TWO MINUTES! THEN YOU WON'T BE REPORTING 'LIVE' ANY LONGER! HOW TERRIBLE! HOW DISTURBING! IF YOU ARE WHO YOU CLAIM YOU ARE, YOU MUST SUCCEED FOR THE SAKE OF OUR HOTLAND GUARDS! OUR NINE VIEWERS ARE GOING TO LOVE WATCHING THIS! GOOD LUCK, DARLING!"

And Mettaton sped off somewhere, before 01 or 02 could ask what they should do, Alphys' voice came up on the phone. "D-don't worry! I installed a bomb-defusing program on your phone! Use the 'defuse option when the bomb is in the DEFUSE ZONE! N-now, go get 'em!"

A plan already in place, Iji handed over the phone to 02. "You heard the doctor. You and 01 go disable the other bombs with this. I'll take care of the big one!"

"A-are you sure?"

"I've learned how to disarm bombs in the military." Though not ones like this. I wonder if my cracking will work? "We're short on time to be arguing!"

"R-right, dude!"

Ignoring the urge to rebut, Iji made her way to the pink bomb and placed her hands on it, willing the nanomachines around her body to do their work. She couldn't explain in words how they worked on non-Tasen and non-Komato security systems (in those, it just felt like a mini-game where she should get from Point A to Point B with no backtracking or bumping into blocks). But she could feel the nanomachines go through lots of programming stuff and cut them off from the detonation command, and then cut off a lot more to ensure a simple switch won't undo everything. It was still taking quite a long time though, even longer than a Level 10 Tasen/Komato security system.

She ignored the comments Mettaton spouted as he flew by, talking about how 01 and 02's own progress was going, and her own apparent laziness. From what she could pick up, they had managed to defuse the video game, the dog, and the present.

Eventually, just as she believed she finally defused it, Mettaton spoke up.

"OH MY! IT LOOKS LIKE OUR CORRESPONDENT HAD A TRICK UP HER SLEEVE! SOMEHOW, JUST BY TOUCHING THE BOMB FOR AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME, SHE HAS DISARMED IT SUCCESSFULLY. WHAT COULD IT BE?"

Standing up and turning to face Mettaton, Iji decided she could leak a bit for the audience. "All I'll say is that I'm not fully human and that part of me is machine." While it's not like she has a cybernetic limb or anything, she has implants that enhance her strength and jumping ability, as well as the Nanofield; technically, all those machines have since essentially become a part of her.

"A BONA FIDE CYBORG? WHAT A SURPRISE! BUT WHERE ARE THE ROBOT LIMBS?"

"That is a secret. You're not getting info on that so easily. But I will say my kind stole tech from the aliens that attacked this planet and this place."

"OOH! CURSE YOU, HUMAN! BUT I DON'T CURSE MY EIGHT WONDERFUL VIEWERS FOR TUNING IN! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLING!"

And with that, Mettaton left the scene, and 01 and 02 went over to Iji.

"Wow, man, that was cool," said 02 as he returned Iji's phone to her. "Also, Dr. Alphys wants to talk."

"W-wow… W-we really showed him, huh?" she said, as part of the script, especially since 01 and 02 were present. "H-hey, I know I was kind of weird at first… but I really think I'm getting more… Uh, more… M-more confident about guiding you! S-so don't worry about that b-big d-dumb robot… I-I'll help you protect against him! A-and if it really c-came down to it, we could just t-turn… Um, nevermind. Later!"

Just seconds after that call ended, another one came, this time from Undyne. Iji decided to put this call on speaker. "Yeah! You totally kicked his butt on the news! Stopping the bomb just by touching it was more awesome that it looked! But I bet Alphys was helping you, wasn't she? Oh my god! You guys becoming friends… It's kinda..."

"Captain?" 01 and 02 said.

Iji could only imagine the look on her face when she realized who was present. "01! 02! I saw you guys on the scene, too. What were you doing there?!"

"The human invited us to come along," 01 replied. "Is it true you don't need her dead anymore?"

After spending several minutes clarifying the whole matter about Undyne's clashes and befriending of Iji to the Hotland Royal Guards, the trio continued onward, walking a pathway that turned to the left, and then to the left again as it overlooked the CORE, in which another call came. Iji answered as they walked, and found it was Alphys.

"Umm… Are you w-worried about meeting Asgore?"

"No. I'm sure I've faced far more powerful Komato than him."

"I'm pretty sure he'd be able to beat them. He even defeated two of those what you called Annihilators."

"Well, I beat their leader who rode a much stronger suit than those. And just like humans, their defenses aren't determined by their empathy. Your king and I are gonna have a lot of talking in store after I break the Barrier."

"Are you sure your weapon can even break it? If the Barrier can protect even from the Alpha Strike, what makes you think your weapon can do more than that?"

Like before, Iji found an elevator just like the one she used earlier, opened it, and she and the guards entered it.

"I reasoned that after that hit, surely the Barrier is weak enough. Even if it's magic, there's no way it's as tough as it was before. And if it endures all of that…well, I told other people where I am and to look for me in this mountain if I'm not back after a couple of weeks." I hope the Velocithor can pass through the Barrier even if it can't break it. That'll send Dan and the others coming. I just need to know the Barrier's limits first. "But if you have anything else you can tell me about the Barrier, then please tell me. " She then gestured for 02 to push the button for Left Floor 3, and he complied.

"All right. Since we've seen it's no use lying to you…the Barrier cannot be crossed with one human SOUL. It…" Alphys sounded like she was really, really hesitant to say it, and even nearing the verge of tears. "It takes one human SOUL and one m-m-monster SOUL to do so. But…only Boss Monster SOULs linger after death, and…K-K-King Asgore is the only B-B-Boss Monster we know that still exists. You will…you will have to take his SOUL to cross the Barrier and leave."

Iji knew she couldn't do that. She's here to negotiate peace, and killing their leader would be a completely wrong step. Also, the elevator stopped and the three exited it to find themselves in another area of Hotland, and it seemed to be (relatively) indoors without any lava below. "Didn't I already tell you? I'm here with the explicit mission of brokering peace between our kind. Killing him would be going against that mission, don't you think?"

"R-right! O-o-of course! You wouldn't do that!"

"The king has collected six human SOULs so far, right?" She then heard a jingle notifying her of a status update, but she'll check on that once she's finished with the call."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, I think it was sort of a good thing he didn't do it as soon as he was able to, but I think his Majesty can cross the barrrier with only one human SOUL. He doesn't have to go and take one more human SOUL from the other side, I won't ask that of him. Instead, I'll just ask him to take a signalling device I'll give him," She didn't know if flare guns were a thing in the Underground, so she used a different term Alphys could perhaps understand. "Use it once he's outdoors, and then return to the Barrier. My friends are sure to come and we can work something out, meeting just within the boundaries. Of course, this is assuming I fail to break the Barrier." And Ansaksie and I have to find Flowey first and take him down. He could ruin any chance of peace.

"Wow. You really seemed to have thought this through."

"I did some research in Snowdin's Library. You can't be an ambassador without knowing the other party. Undyne helped provide info as well after I befriended her. But I'll need to reach the king first. I hope to win some favor by participating in this show. I'll see you later."

"Okay. Bye."

Once the call was ended, Iji checked the social network, and it startled her for a bit.

"TDZCora42 posted a picture. Guess I'm caught. We'll meet up with you at the resort."

And attached to the notification was a picture. She didn't know where they were aside from it being Hotland, but she knew who was on the picture. It was Sans. His left hand was outstretched, and one of his eyes was glowing blue.

Oh no. I wonder what Sans'll have to say to me?

nightelf37: Dun-dun-DUUUN! Well…for those who truly know Sans for who he is. Or seen spoiler fanart. Oh, and in case you're wondering, Sans posed for that pic after catching her and asked her to send the pic of him to Iji.

If you remember one tidbit about "If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier… It will be destroyed.", if you're wondering how the Tasen Alpha Strike equates to that… well, I'm gonna say it barely reached the required seven. As for the Komato Alpha Strike that was about to hit near the end of Sector X (and does in one ending as of Iji 1.7), it would destroy the Barrier…and the entire Underground beneath it. As for Iji's arsenal attacking it, though, and whether or not the Barrier 'regenerated' after the Tasen Alpha Strike, I'm still debating how that would go.

Damn FF dot net for not letting me use the "at symbol".

(1) And it's this one action—not Iji facing Undyne as soon as she saw her—that forces a significant deviation from "the stages of the canon". Besides, on top of Iji's intentions and her actions in Snowdin and Waterfall, there's no way Alphys could continue her plan, and (after hearing of the surface's situation) neither could Mettaton (spoiler:his agenda is separate from his creator's). Alphys' prolonged panic was from realizing there was no way her plan could work on Iji but she was in too deep to stop now. Until…well…

(2) Yes. I actually did all the math with a calculator. Toby Fox did not put in random numbers in that quiz question. If you can calculate the answer fast enough, you don't even need Alphys' help for it, most people likely will either way. I liked doing this exercise and wanted to show my work, which is why despite the farce being revealed, the three continued on with the show.

(3) Wow. As of late, I'm allowing other monsters to act first when it's always the player first. In the game, there's only ONE who does this, and I'm not telling who. *coughphotoshopcough*

(4) Yes, the can is actually stuck to the counter in the game. You only find this out either after coming back or if you're on a true killing spree.

(5) So, no hotdog stack. Not everything will be explored, just as I skipped the talking rock in the Ruins to demonstrate the Nanofield.

(6) Yup. Glyde, and now So Sorry. And while all elevator stops have to be available first, I decided to skip that step. And since no one has ever attacked the Doodlebogs (and put it on video), I'm forced to make assumptions.

(7) That's how I'm going with this 4th-wall break.

Up next: Iji meets Muffet, Sans and Ansaksie, a gauntlet of mercenaries, and confronts Mettaton himself!

See ya on Third!