The Doctor told her. Almost everything.
He told her about River. Not too much because it still hurt to remember her life had ended in the library with his tenth incarnation who had no idea how essential she'd been going to become in his life.
He told her he was a professor at the university nowadays, and he told her about Bill, a brilliant student of his, and Nardole, basically a pain in his arse but very helpful and nice chap in general.
He told her about adventures Bill, Nardole and he had together. Clara laughed, mostly. Her breath was tickling his nose in a pleasant way, so he told her funny stories more than the sad ones just to feel her breath again and again.
"I'd love to meet your friends. And sit one lecture of yours, I still can't imagine you as a professor, I just can't!"
The Doctor couldn't quite believe it himself.
"So, you liked Nardole?"
He couldn't stop thinking how right she felt in his lap, with her hand slightly brushing his short hairs, or what was left of it after shaving, on the back of his neck. It brought a pleasant tickle down to his body and he let himself enjoy it just much.
"From what you're saying he really cares for you, stop being so harsh on him. And I'd love to know Bill closer."
In the back of his mind, the Doctor also thought the reason why he had kissed her the second time when he knew that she wouldn't have accepted it. He knew that he cared for this little woman, and whatever made her happy made him happy. Well, that's how it had used to be, before the Trap street. He would let her date Danny the soldier boy, even when he had much disliked him. He would do whatever she asked him without question. Without reward. Without…
He cared for her, right? It meant he wouldn't ask anything from her. He'd barely had, back in happy good old days. She had been the one who started their kiss and hugs and so many things more. So what was it? This feeling crushing his chest when she wasn't around.
What was different this time?
Time.
He thought he had learned his lesson. He had used to think he knew exactly what was best for his Clara, and he learned it was wrong, he'd been just selfish, when the neural block backfired at him. He had accepted the loss of impossible girl; missed her very much, yes, even fantasized them meeting again, but he had always respected that new space between them.
Oh, but now it was just so tempting to forget all what he had learned, be it for good or bad…
They heard a knock on the door, almost a shy one. Barney.
They ran out of time.
"Well, I think this is it. For today." Clara carefully slipped down from his knees, to the void that surrounded him, and he felt so weightless all of a sudden. And cold.
He tried to smile, just for her, to pretend everything was okay. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yep."
Casual. Like nothing had happened.
He heard her little footsteps being absorbed by the void and then, just like that, she disappeared from him again.
All the way back to the cell Clara was smiling, all her thoughts with the Doctor and how lucky she had been to find him on Zetta-2.95. That had been truly something magical happened to the universe, if it was generous enough to let them meet each other again.
But there was another thought nagging in the back of her head. That it was wrong, the universe shouldn't have let them meet together ever again for its own safety.
She thought about his first kiss, and the second. The Doctor was giving them a false hope that he would fix her oh-not-so-little-problem of being a walking dead. They should stop this. She mustn't fell for him so easily next time.
But…
"You have no idea what it is to be locked inside your mind alone. The pain."
With River Song gone, and no one who knew him quite well, and now with the sight gone, he was alone in this world. Not just feeling lonely, he had new friends from what she'd heard. But really alone, and it brought back memories of Trenzalore. Was it the same? Could she find it in her heart to be harsh to the person who was just clenching to the last warm straw which could satiate his cold hearts?
"I've been waiting for you."
As Clara heard his voice she froze at the entrance. In the dark corner of her cell, on the left bed, was sitting a figure of someone she hoped she'd never see again.
"What are you doing in my cell, Pepe?"
Pepe smirked and lurked out of the shadow.
"I've told you already. I've been waiting for you. What took you so long? Where were you? I couldn't find you anywhere!"
"In the library," she told him before she could stop herself. She would probably regret it later. "And it's none of your business."
"It is, luv, we are going to be together!"
Clara really tried to calm down. This man just wasn't the type who knew what the word 'no' stood for.
"We are not. Frankly, I don't know where you've got that idea."
"What? You can't just say no to Pepe!" And just like that he proved her previous thoughts.
"I think I've just did." She stopped in the middle of the cell and shrugged. "Go away. I'm tired."
Pepe then was dangerously closing the space between them. Clara was ready for another verbal fight with him, but when she recognized a feral hatred on his face she felt a sharp fear in her stomach, and it was too late.
Rashly, Pepe clenched at her wrists and slammed her against the wall. "You've found someone, haven't you?"
"N-no!" That wasn't the answer he was waiting for so she felt a stinging pain in her wrists when he clenched more strongly, powered with jealousy which was written on his face. "Don't touch me!" She was wriggling to no avail.
"And who is that, mmm? Is that Barney?! Is that him?! He's working in the library and… and… You know, he is retarded! He's a fucking vegetable! Oh, nonononono. No, Clara, why? I can't – Is that because he was the first to enter your cell?!"
"Stop, please, you're hurting me!" She was honestly scared of the man and couldn't think of a way to stop him. She tried aiming at his crouch with her boot but he was too close, literally pinching her into the wall.
"Why?!" He didn't listen to her. "You knew I had an eye for you, I was so gentle with you, I helped you in the mines, why would you want someone like Barney?!"
"I don't have anything with Barney!" Clara cried.
"He's a pet for an old man, he's a coon!"
"I DON'T LOVE HIM."
"You don't?!"
"No!"
"Oh. Sorry. I am… so sorry." Pepe let her go and ran before guards came to Clara's shout.
Clara succumbed on her knees, desperately trying to hug herself. She felt dirty and pitiful. She was immortal, literally nobody could hurt her much, she was the strongest creature on this planet but yet she couldn't do anything.
And Pepe wouldn't just stop it.
Clara tried to stop a lump in her throat.
Shewasn'tincontrolshewasn'tincontrol
Her hands were shaking as adrenaline was leaving her body. There were prints on her wrists left by Pepe's hands that would probably turn into bruises tomorrow.
What would the Doctor do if he was cornered? He would fight it. Even if there was no chance for him. As he had rammed at guards, blind and clueless on Zetta-2.95. He would use Venusian aikido if needed. Or sonic.
She was immortal but what was the point of it? She couldn't save the prisoners on transfer when they crossed over the desert, she couldn't save them, she couldn't save herself.
Pepe was just a bully, she tried to reason with her inner voice. You can't overdo a bully when he is in rage, you can only fight back later.
But that wasn't the reason, right? She was trying to be the Doctor, and she miserably failed on it so many times now.
When her eyes were dry again, she climbed on her bed and tried to sleep.
"So who is she?" Barney asked quietly so not to disturb those deep thoughts surrounded the Doctor.
The Doctor wasn't moving since she had left, as if by merely not moving he could save her sweet essence for a little longer. He was thinking of an escape plan, now that they were together at last, daydreaming of days long gone, and thinking of the way to save Clara's life, as the universe was so generous to give him the third chance to make it right. He thought he found one when Barney interrupted him.
"Can you keep an eye on her for me?" the Doctor said.
Barney was shuffling to the table, he could hear him closing the space. "Why?"
"Because I can't and I really need her to be safe. Surely you know how cruel can be people around here."
Barney knew it quite well in fact. "Very well, Doctor. But you didn't answer my question."
"It would be safer for her if you didn't know. Sorry." The Doctor shrugged with a sad smile.
"She's your wife," it wasn't a question.
Technically? He thought so, yes. They were doing stuff that only married people would do. Were they married actually? No.
"No comment, Barney," he smiled knowingly. "Now, what did our good old administration give us this time?"
Don't you worry guys. I'm alive, to prove that I decided to update with short chapter. The next update won't take so long (there's just too many going in the future. I promise it's worth waiting for).