"What do you mean you think you're in love with Master Jiraiya?" Shizune asked, now fully awake and eager to hear what her mentor had to say, "What happened to allow you to come to that conclusion?"
Tsunade recalled the moment not too long ago when she almost shared a kiss with her old teammate. She had the great desire to participate in that moment but wondered to herself what turn of events would it have led to. Would she have been absolutely certain that she was in love with him if they had participated in that intimate act? Or would she have become afraid to love him once again and flee from him as fast as possible? She was not sure and knew for a fact that this time around she had to tread very carefully for the last thing she wanted to do was mess everything up once again. Therefore, she was seeking out the advice of the person who has been by her side for years, hoping that somehow she would receive clarity on the situation she was faced with.
"I almost kissed him Shizune." She confessed, remembering every single detail of their encounter clearly. During that intense moment between the two former teammates, her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, her palms were sweaty, and she could not focus on anything but the man who was standing before her.
Shizune's eyes grew wide with excitement and she felt as if her heart were about to explode with happiness. She thought that her childhood dream of having a stable family unit was about to come true. However, it seemed as if Tsunade was plagued with uncertainty and it was Shizune's duty to help her overcome all her second thoughts, "What stopped you from kissing him?"
"The damn ANBU black ops ninja that Koharu assigned to me interrupted us." She explained and let out a deep sigh, "Perhaps it was a good thing we stopped before anything happened."
"Why do you think it was a good thing?" Shizune asked, "Didn't you want to kiss him?"
Tsunade then thought about how badly she wanted to just succumb to her feelings and kiss him as if she had never kissed him before. However, an annoying voice in the back of her mind was telling her to be rational and think it through before she caused something unfavorable to occur, "That's just the thing Shizune." She started "I really wanted to but I'm not sure if it was just lust or something more. I want to be certain of my feelings before I make a mistake that I can never come back from. I don't want to hurt him again."
The blonde Hokage was so confused that she laid back in the bed and reached for the pillow beside her in order to crash it down upon her face. Why did everything have to be so confusing? She yearned for simpler times when she wasn't so perplexed.
Shizune moved closer to her mentor and laid a supportive hand upon her shoulder, "Why do you think you'll hurt him?"
When Tsunade was going through the most dramatic of situations with Jiraiya Shizune was just a little girl and was completely unaware of the situations Tsunade had to live through. Tsunade didn't tell her anything because she was too young and innocent to be able to comprehend adult issues. Therefore, Shizune was still unaware of the truth Tsunade kept to herself for years.
"Because I've done it before on multiple occasions." Tsunade admitted, her voice sounding slightly muffled due to the pillow covering her face. She removed the fluffy object and sat up in the bed once again, "I hurt him when I went to him for comfort when Nawaki died. To make matters worse I hurt him again when we returned to the village to save his life."
"I remember when I woke up in a tent in the middle of the night." Shizune recalled, "I remember seeing you crying and I didn't understand why because you wanted to leave the village when I was the one who didn't. I thought that if anyone should be crying it would have had to have been me."
Tsunade remembered that fateful day when she made the decision to run as far away as she could from Jiraiya to preserve his fragile heart. She thought it was for the best, and maybe at the time it was. She was certain that she was not capable of truly being in a relationship with him without somehow causing him never ending pain. Therefore, she left him and went about her life with Shizune in tow.
"Remember when Jiraiya invited me to dinner that night?" She asked and Shizune nodded her head, "Well we ended up going back to his apartment after we ate, and we slept together."
"I'm confused." Shizune confessed as she rubbed her temples, trying her best to comprehend all she was hearing, "If you two slept together then why did we leave the village?"
"After we slept together he asked me not to leave before he fell asleep. I guess that freaked me out and I panicked." Tsunade said remembering how he basically pleaded for her to stay with him, "I was afraid that if I stayed with him I would end up hurting him again and I didn't want to do that to him. I didn't trust myself with him. It didn't occur to me that leaving him like that without even saying goodbye would hurt him even more."
"I figured it had something to do with Master Jiraiya." Shizune said. She remembered seeing her mentor's tears and feeling so confused as to why she was crying.
"That was when I knew I loved him." The blonde admitted out loud, "I loved him but I was afraid to so I tried so hard to suppress my feelings for him and for some time it worked. But then I found out I was pregnant with Riku and then my feelings for him returned."
"But then you miscarried," Shizune mentioned.
Tsunade nodded her head, "And that was when I buried my son along with the feelings I had for Jiriaya. But now those feelings are back, and I can't seem to shake them. However, I want to be certain that I really do love him and want to be with him before I approach him."
Shizune now understood where her mentor was coming from. After Tsunade explained her truth, she came to the realization as to why Tsunade constantly left the village and tried so hard to avoid Jiraiya at all costs. She was insecure about herself and her capabilities of truly being in a relationship. Tsunade and Jiraiya had so much history that adding something more to the mix such as a relationship without being absolutely certain about it would surely result in a catastrophic end. Shizune however, was happy that Tsunade was finally sharing the things that she kept hidden from her in order to preserve her innocence and decided to offer up words that would perhaps help Tsunade figure out what to do.
"Lady Tsunade can I ask you an important question?" Shizune asked.
Tsunade looked at the raven-haired woman and wondered what question Shizune had in mind, "What is it?"
"Besides myself, who is the person who knows you the best?"
Tsunade didn't have to think twice before answering that question, "Jiraiya."
"What about the person who you are always happy to see?"
"Jiraiya."
"When something great happens in your life who do you want to tell?"
"Jiraiya."
"And when something bad happens, whose comfort do you seek?"
Tsunade closed her honey colored eyes and images of Jiraiya flashed in her mind. Her thoughts brought her back to the moment when he was right by her side, holding her and trying his best to console her when Nawaki passed away. He was also right there, encouraging her and assuring her that she would make a good Hokage when doubt and anxiety plagued her being. Through every high and every low in her life, Jiriaya has always been there so when she answered Shizune's last question she knew for a fact that it was the absolute truth, "Jiraiya."
Shizune smiled to herself and held Tsunade's hand, "I believe that you love Master Jiraiya wholeheartedly. I know you're scared to be in a relationship with him because you don't want to hurt him. However, there is no guarantee that you won't face hard times in a possible relationship with him. No relationship is perfect Lady Tsunade, but you have to put your trust in the love you have for him and believe that no matter what you two might go through, at the end of the day your love will prevail."
"How do you know that?" Tsunade asked, wondering when Shizune became so adept at giving relationship advice.
Shizune let the hold she had on Tsunade's hand go and walked over to the small desk she had sitting in the corner of her room. She opened one of its drawers and emerged with a scrapbook that looked as if it had been traveling all around the world, for some pages were torn, and the cover of the book was faded. It was the scrapbook Shizune had as a little girl and the very book she vowed to keep in her possession forever. It held dear memories of her childhood and therefore occupied an important space in her heart. Shizune brought the book over to the bed that Tsunade was currently sitting on and opened it to reveal the contents on the third page.
Tsunade allowed her eyes to glance over the page Shizune revealed to her and what she saw was a drawing taped inside the book of a family that looked as if a young child created it. She looked more closely at the drawing and realized that it was a picture of herself holding an infant with wings on his back, Shizune standing beside her with a wide smile on her face and Jiraiya was standing on the other side of her. She was confused and looked up at Shizune with eyes asking for answers.
"I drew that picture when I was ten years old." She explained, "We were given an assignment in school to draw a picture of our family. I knew that you were pregnant, and I was going to be a big sister so I drew a picture of us and the baby and Master Jiraiya because I knew that somehow he would come back into our lives. I tried to show you the picture, but it was as if you weren't there. You just found out that you had a miscarriage, so you were like a ghost. Once you told me you lost the baby I made some modifications to the drawing and added wings to the baby." She said as she pointed to the drawing of the baby, "And I wrote beside Master Jiraiya's drawing 'he's not here yet but one day he will be'."
"Shizune." Tsunade said, lost for words. She couldn't believe that she did not recall Shizune showing that picture to her so long ago. However, she was grief stricken that day so it wasn't hard to understand that she simply was unaware of the drawing.
"I always believed that you and Master Jiraiya were soulmates and soulmates always find their way back to each other." Shizune explained, "I knew that from a very early age. I always wanted you two to be together so that we could be a family. You might be unaware of this but you and Master Jiraiya are destined to be with each other."
Tsunade looked at Shizune and could hardly believe that she was the same young, innocent child she took in as her own so many years ago. When they became a team, Shizune was just a little girl who lost everyone and everything dear to her and now she was a kind, caring woman. They have been through hell and back with each other and at one point, when Shizune was a teenager, Tsunade was at the lowest point in her life and caused their team to live in poverty, moving from place to place, never truly having a place to call home. Back then Shizune had every reason to walk away and leave Tsunade to wallow in her misery by herself, but Shizune never left. She stayed right by Tsunade's side through it all and now look how far they have come. They were no longer living off of borrowed money. They were now stable and Tsunade could not be happier to still have Shizune with her, sharing her life with her.
Without another thought or another word, Tsunade wrapped her arms around Shizune's slender body and enveloped her in a tight hug, "When did you become this mature and rational?"
Shizune giggled to herself, "I've always been the level headed one in our little team." She reminded Tsunade.
Tsunade then broke their embrace and gently removed some stray hair out of Shizune's face, "I know that but now you're old enough for me to talk to you about these things and you can actually give me advice on the matter." Tsunade smiled, "How did you grow up so fast?"
Shizune shrugged her shoulders and then let out a tired yawn. It was very late and exhaustion was starting to set in, "I think you should think about what I said before you make your decision."
"I definitely will." Tsunade assured her and was about to leave the room until Shizune stopped her by holding her hand.
"You can stay in here with me tonight." Shizune suggested, "We used to share a bed all the time when I was younger."
"I think I'll take you up on that offer." Tsunade said feeling the need for her adoptive daughter's company and laid on the bed next to Shizune.
It wasn't too long before Shizune fell asleep. As she was sleeping, Tsunade laid awake thinking about the conversation they just had. There was much sense in all Shizune was saying, but Tsunade needed time to let her words sink in and to truly figure out what she wanted to do. This was not the time to make any rash decisions based off of want alone. This time around she had to take Jiraiya's feelings into consideration for the last thing she wanted to do was to ruin everything she tried so hard to fix. An image of Jiraiya's smiling face flashed before her eyes and only then did she allow sleep to claim her.
The next day, Tsunade awoke from her slumber to the sensation of a wet snout brushing against her cheek. Her eyes immediately shot open and saw none other than TonTon curled up beside her in Shizune's bed, urging her to get up. She smiled upon seeing the plump pig she obtained so many years ago and proceeded to rub her eyes in exhaustion. She stayed up late the night before as she was too busy thinking about what she felt towards her teammate and trying to figure out her next move. Despite the hours she laid awake, she could not come up with any answers. Therefore, she would have to spend more time pondering her situation.
She then glanced over to the alarm clock seated on the nightstand and her eyes grew wide with shock upon her realizing that she overslept and was late in starting her day. She slapped her palm on her face knowing that she would surely receive a lengthy lecture from Koharu and also wondered why Shizune didn't bother to wake her. She let out a sigh feeling slightly agitated due to her being thrown off schedule and rose unwillingly to her feet with TonTon cradled in her arms. Afterwards, she walked out of her pupil's room and placed the pig on the ground before heading into the bathroom to ready herself for the long, taxing day she had ahead of her.
Once in the privacy of the bathroom, she freshened herself up at the sink before discarding her clothes on the floor and entering the shower. She determined that the water was to her liking, not too hot and not too cold before she placed herself under the stream coming from the shower head. She allowed the water to drench her from head to toe and felt herself become relaxed as the soothing water pelted her body. She then lathered her hair with her vanilla scented shampoo followed by its corresponding conditioner. When she was finished washing her blonde hair, she moved on to clean her body. After a few moments, she stepped out the shower, feeling rejuvenated and wrapped her body in a warm, white towel and proceeded to dry her soaked hair with another smaller towel. When she figured her hair was dry enough, she entered her bedroom to pick out her clothing for the day. She walked into her closet and dressed herself in her usual navy blue, three-quarter pants, followed by her gray kimono style top and then draped her green jacket over her shoulders. It was now time to rid her hair of tangles and knots, so she seated herself at her vanity and proceeded to brush through her rather long hair. After ensuring her hair was detangled and silky smooth, she divided her hair into two and tied off each section in her usual loose ponytails. Afterwards, she applied some light eye makeup as well as a light pink tinted lipstick to her lips and took one final look in the mirror and determined that her appearance was as good as it was going to get and exited her bedroom.
Tsunade did not have much of an appetite so instead of eating breakfast, she poured herself a cup of coffee before swooping up TonTon in her arms and leaving the comfort of her living quarters. She figured she would just drink the coffee in her office since she was already running late and didn't want to put herself even more behind than she already was. She was imagining all the piles of paperwork that would surely be waiting on her once she entered the office. For a moment, she thought about walking slowly on purpose just to prolong the time she spent away from her Hokage duties but concluded that doing so would be irresponsible. Instead, she quickened her pace and before she knew it, she was standing before the familiar door that would lead her into her office. She took a deep, steadying breath before she entered the room and when she did, she saw quite a peculiar sight. Sitting at her desk, working tirelessly at completing a rather tall pile of paperwork was none other than Shizune.
"Shizune what are you doing?" Tsunade asked while standing in the door frame of the Hokage office. She didn't understand why Shizune was doing paperwork when she always tried to encourage her to do her own work.
Shizune looked up from the task before her eyes, just realizing that she was no longer alone in the room, "I'm just helping you with your paperwork Lady Tsunade."
"But why?" Tsunade questioned as she walked over to the desk to see what document Shizune was working on. It was a mission request from a small town in the Land of Waves. It didn't look to be anything too serious, but it had to be done, nevertheless. She took a sip of her coffee before placing TonTon on the ground, "And why didn't you wake me sooner?"
Shizune stopped writing on the document and looked up at Tsunade, "I know you've been having a lot on your mind lately, so I allowed you to sleep in to get some rest." She explained, "As for the paperwork, I just wanted to help you."
Tsunade then placed her coffee on the desk and laid her hand on Shizune's shoulder, "Thank you Shizune, but I got it from here."
"Are you sure Lady Tsunade? I don't mind helping." Shizune said, knowing all too well what her mentor was going through.
Tsunade nodded her head, "I'm sure. I need you to meet Sakura at the hospital so you can oversee her training for the day."
Sometimes when Tsunade was busy, she would send Shizune to train Sakura in the healing arts. Shizune was taught by Tsunade herself, so if anyone knew Tsunade's teaching style it would be her. Furthermore, Shizune was a skilled medic herself, so Tsunade had little doubt in her mind that Shizune wouldn't lead Sakura down a good path.
Shizune nodded her head, understanding what Tsunade asked her to do and left the room. She knew better than to ask Tsunade if she thought about her situation and came up with a solution. She knew that Tsunade must have been plagued with many thoughts circulating in her mind and therefore needed space to think everything through on her own. She did not want to push her, so in that moment, she made the decision to let her be.
Tsunade took up her position at the desk that once belonged to the Hokage who came before her and peered down at the paperwork seated on the desk, waiting to be completed. Shizune definitely made a dent in the work that needed to be done, but there was still a significant number of documents that she would have to go through. She looked at the mission request that Shizune was working on and decided to take on the job. She then pulled out her ninja roster and determined what team would be appropriate for the nature of the mission. She settled on assigning the mission to Asuma Sarutobi's team and then moved on to the next task at hand. The next items on her to do list was to read through and to sign off on mission reports. She had quite a few to complete since Leaf ninja went out on missions on a daily basis. She moved through those documents as if she were a robot, just wanting to complete them quickly.
As she was doing her Hokage duties, she felt herself yearn for Jiraiya to pop up at her window like he was so accustomed to doing. She missed him despite the fact that she saw him the previous night. She wondered why she was longing to see him and then realized that it was due to the feelings she felt for him. She knew she had to figure out what to do in regard to him. Should she approach him and confess her feelings to him? Or should she suppress whatever she felt towards him and pretend as if she just wanted to remain his friend? She already established that she was in love with him after her talk with Shizune, but still she wanted to ensure that being with him was in fact what she wanted. Her mind travelled back to the night when she left him after they made love for the last time. She was so broken, so distraught, and that was due to the simple fact that she just could not allow herself to stay with him and give her heart to him. If she could go back in time and change it, she would.
She rose to her feet, ignoring her paperwork to gaze out the window and imagined herself in a relationship with the man she has known for her entire life. She wondered what it would be like, but then realized that she would never know unless she spoke to him and if he even wanted her in his life as his lover. What if he was unwilling to go down that road once again? What would she do if he denied her? She shook those unfavorable thoughts from her mind and decided to take Shizune's words into consideration. There was no guarantee that everything would be fine and dandy in the event that she would end up with Jiraiya. There is no such thing as the perfect relationship and surely she would have hurdles to jump over. However, she had to put her faith in the love she harbored for him and trust that no matter what situation they were to go through, their love would overcome it all. She took a deep breath and made the decision to seek Jiraiya out and have the talk that she put off for so long with him. She had no idea what the outcome would be, but she had to try. She could no longer stand by and imagine what would have happened if only she had been brave enough to face the man she was certain she loved.
It was after twelve in the afternoon when Jiraiya awoke from his slumber. It wasn't unusual for him to get up that late. Usually when he did not have any early plans or missions to head out on, he liked to sleep in. He rose into a sitting position on his bead with a loud yawn and stretched his arms above his head in order to loosen his muscles. He went to bed later than normal the night before and therefore, was tired. He just couldn't seem to fall asleep due to the fact that his mind was invaded by thoughts of his blonde Hokage. She was going to kiss him. That was quite obvious but unfortunately they were interrupted. He would be lying if he said that he did not want it to occur. However, what would it have led to? Would she just end up leaving him again or perhaps this time around would she have stayed? He was not quite sure. They have been down this road before but was it by no means obstacle free, and they both came out of it with permanent scars. Perhaps it would be the safer option to pretend as if the sparks between them were extinguished. However, this was Tsunade, the woman he has known for his entire life, and the one he had strong feelings for. Yes, she has hurt him too many times for him to count, but for some reason, he felt as if he could not deny her. Since she returned to the village, she changed for the better. Instead of being cold and indifferent towards him, she was remorseful for all the wrongs she has done and was desperate to rekindle their prior bond.
He got out of bed and immediately walked over to the desk that was in his bedroom. He opened one of the drawers and emerged with a discolored folded sheet of paper that looked worn due to age. He opened up the letter and read its contents. He remembered the morning so many years ago when he first came across that letter. It was sitting on the pillow that should have belonged to the woman he loved for the night. It was the letter Tsunade left him when she abandoned him once again after they made love for the last time. The message she wrote him was painful to say the least and in that moment, when he first read it all he could feel was sadness mixed with anger. He was angry at the fact that she left him without so much as a goodbye, but he was sad because he missed her dearly and wanted nothing more than to be with her. He kept that letter just to have a piece of her still with him, but he didn't dare to read its contents for a second time. As he stood there, re-reading the note addressed to himself, he could finally understand that her leaving him did not come from a cruel, uncaring person, but instead it sprung from a genuine place in her heart. She did not want to hurt him again so instead of staying, she took herself out the picture in order to spare his heart from experiencing more pain. He wondered that if on that fateful night when she deserted the village and him yet again if she felt pain as well.
He smiled to himself and held the letter close to his heart. He no longer felt any pain. Instead he felt as if Tsunade was finally within his grasp. He placed the note back into its previous spot and walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He turned the shower on and hung his head below the water, allowing it to soak his hair and body. The shower relaxed him, and he almost did not want to get out, but he could not waste the day away underneath the stream of water. He had to see Tsunade. He just hoped that she was feeling the same way he was. He quickly got out the shower and dried himself with a towel before placing some freshly laundered clothes on his body. He then unsuccessfully ran a comb throughout his tangled hair and was about to head out for the day in search of Tsunade when he heard a knock on the door of his apartment. He wondered who his visitor could have been and felt somewhat giddy at the possibility of it being Tsunade. He ran over to the entrance of his apartment and without another thought, swung the door open to reveal his guest. His heart sank slightly upon realizing the person who was paying him a visit was Kakashi instead of the woman he was so desperate to see again.
"Kakashi." Jiraiya said upon seeing the silver-haired Jounin appear at his door, "What are you doing here?"
Kakashi was reading one of Jiraiya's novels like he always did in his spare time but closed the book once he was greeted by the one he decided to visit, "I hope I caught you at a good time Master Jiraiya." Kakashi said as he noticed that Jiraiya was freshly showered and looked as if he was on his way out.
Jiraiya scratched the back of his head, "Actually Kakashi, about that." He started.
"I just wanted to talk to you about Naruto." Kakashi explained.
This sparked interest in Jiraiya, for he was curious to know why Kakashi would want to discuss the young Genin, "Naruto?" He repeated, "What about him?"
"If you were on your way to do something it can wait." Kakashi said and proceeded to turn his attention back to his novel.
As much as Jiraiya wanted to leave to find Tsunade, he knew that whatever Kakashi came to talk to him about must be important. Therefore, he decided to put off his encounter with Tsunade a little longer, "I have time." He said and moved out of the door frame in order to usher Kakashi inside his home.
"I was thinking that we could get a bite to eat and perhaps a drink or two while we have this conversation." Kakashi said while remaining where he stood instead of entering the apartment.
It was clear that Kakashi had no intentions of speaking to Jiraiya in the privacy of his apartment so Jiraiya stepped out of his home and closed the door behind him, securing it with his key. Perhaps Kakashi just wanted some company out in public, or maybe he was plotting to get Jiraiya drunk so that he could reveal the contents of the book he was working on to him. Jiraiya didn't know Kakashi's thought processes but he just hoped that their little outing wouldn't last too long for he had a rather important appointment to keep with the Hokage.
"Okay Kakashi." He started and stuffed the keys into his pocket, "What place do you have in mind?"
"Just follow me Master Jiraiya."
The two walked through the village making idle conversation with each other. Jiraiya was still confused as to why Kakashi wanted to discuss Naruto while Kakashi was busy talking about his favorite parts in Jiraiya's novels. He remembered when he started to write those books. It wasn't too long ago when he was still separated from Tsunade. He just wrote them in order to fill the void in his heart after having it constantly be broken by Tsunade. However, he never anticipated that his perverted literature would become so popular among so many. He swore that Kakashi was perhaps his most vivid reader as he was always trying to get information out of Jiraiya regarding the hidden details in his novels.
The duo finally arrived at a local tavern that was visited quite frequently by the adult population of the Leaf. The prices were not too extravagant, and it also had a wide selection of bar food as well as alcoholic beverages. In fact, that very tavern was the one that Jiraiya frequented with Tsunade back in the day. He remembered getting stone cold drunk with her on a regular basis sitting in front of the bar, laughing at nothing in particular and challenging each other to take more shots. She was his favorite drinking partner and they always had a good time in each other's company. However, at the end of their drinking escapades, Tsunade often had to empty the contents of her stomach in the back alley of the tavern with Jiraiya holding her hair to prevent it from getting caught in the mess and rubbing her back. Those were good times and memories that he would hold close to his heart.
Jiraiya and Kakashi seated themselves at the bar and were promptly approached by the bartender, "What can I get you two?" The man asked while placing a bowl of salty nuts before them.
Neither had to browse the food options presented in the menu for they were both frequent visitors, "I'll have the barbeque pork ribs and some sake." Kakashi ordered.
"Just some sake for me." Jiraiya said, not feeling very hungry. Instead of eating a meal, he settled with eating the complimentary nuts in the bowl before him.
The bartender poured both men a glass of sake and left the bottle in their possession. He then disappeared into the kitchen to fulfill Kakashi's order. Jiraiya looked around at the population of the bar and wasn't surprised to see the people in there. Almost every single person in the bar was going through something as they were all drinking hard liquor so early in the day. Jiraiya recalled a time in his life when he did the same in an attempt to forget about all the problems he faced. That only led him to think about why Kakashi was participating in such an act. What exactly did he want to talk about?
"Kakashi, what's going on?" Jiraiya asked, no longer being able to remain in the dark.
Kakashi took a gulp of his beverage and then proceeded to talk, "I'm worried about Naruto."
Jiraiya had a feeling where this conversation was headed and felt the need to take a sip of his drink as well, "Why is that?"
"You should know that the Akatsuki will eventually come looking for Naruto." Kakashi said and drank again, "How do you intend on keeping him safe?"
Jiraiya knew better than anyone what kind of threat the Akatsuki posed to Naruto's safety. There was no doubt in his mind that eventually they would come looking for him and when they do, what exactly would happen? The boy had to become stronger in order to defend himself against the likes of all those who wanted to cause him harm. That was one of the main reasons Jiraiya decided to take the kid under his wing and train him. He was in good hands, so why was Kakashi so apprehensive?
"Don't worry about Naruto Kakashi." Jiraiya said and grabbed a handful of salted nuts while Kakashi was served his meal, "I'm watching over him and I'll make sure no harm comes to him. Why are you questioning it? Do you doubt my abilities?"
"There's no question that you are one of the strongest ninjas alive Master Jiraiya." Kakashi said, "After all you are one of the Sannin, but I do have my concerns."
"And what are those?" Jiraiya asked a little offended that Kakashi had reservations of him looking out for Naruto.
"You have a track record of leaving the village." He stated, "Naruto needs constant guidance and training in order to become stronger. How can that happen in the event that you leave the village? You're the only one capable of really training that boy."
Jiraiya now understood why Kakashi wanted to have a talk with him. He cared for Naruto for he was his sensei and wanted nothing than to keep him safe at all costs. The Akatsuki was not an organization to take lightly and Naruto had to be able to stand up to them one day. It was true that Jiraiya was accustomed to living a nomadic lifestyle, moving from place to place. However, with the recent turn of events, he decided to put his old ways behind him and to stay permanently in the village, only leaving in the event of being assigned a mission. There was no way that he would leave Naruto, or even Tsunade behind.
"You don't have to be concerned with that." Jiraiya assured the Jounin, "I'm not leaving this village for anything. This is my home and it's where I belong."
Kakashi took hold of the bottle of sake and poured Jiraiya a drink, "That's good to know Master Jiraiya. Watch over Naruto and keep him safe."
Tsunade walked through the busy streets of The Leaf Village, stopping every now and then to converse with the villagers who wanted to say hello to her while keeping a lookout for a familiar white-haired man. She was trying to locate Jiraiya so that she could have the conversation she desperately wanted to have with him. Therefore, she did not necessarily want to be delayed by the villagers. However, as the Hokage she could not just simply evade the people who looked up to her and idolized her. She had to greet them with a smile, listen to their concerns, and assure them that she was running the village to the best of her abilities.
When she was finally free from all the villagers and their burning questions, she started down the path that would lead her to Jiraiya's apartment building. She travelled down that path as if she had walked it a thousand times before. Every turn in the road, and every detour that would get her to her destination faster were burned into her memory for she had visited Jiraiya's home on multiple occasions. In her youth she usually had to go to Jiraiya's apartment to awake him from his slumber when they had to venture out the village for a mission, or sometimes she would have to go there to administer medication to him when he was wounded or ill. When she thought about it, she rarely ever visited him just to say hello. However in this particular occasion, she was seeking him out to profess her love for him. How things have changed.
She walked up the stairs that would lead her directly to Jiraiya's apartment. There were quite a few of them since his home was located on the third floor of the building. With each step she took, she remembered that fateful night when she climbed up those same stairs in the pouring rain when she was engulfed in pain and darkness after learning that her dear younger brother suffered a cruel death. She didn't remember exactly why she decided to go there that night, but figured that in heart she knew that Jiraiya could somehow make her unfortunate situation better. That night so many years ago was the start of the journey she embarked on with Jiraiya, where they would both walk into unfamiliar territory with each other. It was by no means easy, and they both had to endure a lot of pain and suffering, but in the end she could say with honesty that she realized that she loved him with all her heart.
She stopped in front of the door and felt as if she was stationary there with her arms by her side, a nervous bead of sweat running down her back, and her heart beating uncontrollably in her chest. She was apprehensive to come face to face with the man she harbored so many feelings for. She feared that if she were to confess her feelings for him, she would be rejected and then what would she do? She was all too familiar with the fact that she caused him unimaginable pain on multiple occasions so it would not come as a surprise if he were to tell her that he could not go down that road once again. If that were to happen, her first instinct would be to run as far away as she could from him. However, she could not simply run away this time. She was now the Hokage, so regardless of whatever emotional turmoil she could go through, she had to remain in the village. She had to be certain of what she was about to do, and for a second, she was about to turn away and return to her office and pretend as if her feelings for him did not exist. But then, she thought about how she felt last night, and how much she wanted to melt into his arms. She loved him so much that she was willing to put herself through the pain of rejection just so she could let her feelings for him be known. She took a deep, calming breath and knocked on the door before her anxiously waiting fo her knocks to be acknowledged by the man on the other side of the door.
"What are you doing here Granny Tsunade?"
Tsunade looked behind her and saw a familiar blonde-haired boy with bright blue eyes. She didn't quite know how to answer Naruto's question. How could she tell him that she was there to confess her love to the boy's master?
"Hi Naruto." She said, "I was just here to speak to Jiraiya about something." She explained, hiding the truth from the young boy.
Naruto walked over to the door and reached under the doormat to retrieve the spare key that Jiraiya stored under there, "The Pervy Sage is probably still asleep." He said, "I say we go in there and wake him up." Naruto proceeded to open the door, "He's supposed to train me today."
Tsunade did not necessarily want to let herself into Jiraiya's apartment, but Naruto almost had the door open so it was no use in stopping him at that point.
"I just hope he doesn't have some lady in there with him." Naruto cringed and pushed the door open.
Tsunade blushed furiously at the boy's words and also felt jealous towards the possibility of Jiraiya being with another woman. What exactly would she do if the genin's words were true? Once the door was open, the duo could see that the apartment was in complete darkness. Tsunade then turned the light switch on and walked into the apartment with Naruto by her side. In her opinion, the apartment was vacant, for she saw no signs of him being there. However, she didn't look in the bedroom and wasn't sure if she could bring herself to venture in there.
"He must be sleeping." Naruto declared and opened the bedroom door.
Tsunade's heart was in knots as Naruto entered Jiraiya's bedroom. She was silently praying that Jiraiya was in there alone.
"AHHHHHH!" Naruto shouted which caused Tsunade to join him in the bedroom.
When she entered the room she saw an empty bed that was not made due to the rumpled sheets and and scattered pillows atop it. She felt her anger boil which caused her to punch Naruto in the head, "Why the hell did you scream idiot?!"
"OW!" Naruto shouted in pain and held the spot on his head where he received the blow from the Hokage, "Pervy Sage is supposed to be training me today and he's not even here!"
Tsunade rolled her eyes, "Didn't he train you yesterday?"
"He did but I have to train everyday if I want to get stronger and bring Sasuke back to the village!"
Tsunade shook her head at Naruto's words. He wanted nothing more than to bring his friend home and save him from darkness. Jiraiya felt the same way towards Orochimaru, but was unsuccessful in his quest to save his friend, "In that case." Tsunade started and placed her hand upon Naruto's shoulder, "Instead of waiting around for Jiraiya, perhaps you should try training on your own sometimes." She explained, "You can get stronger all on your own, I know you can."
Naruto thought about what she said and ultimately decided that she was right. If he wanted to become stronger, he had to take matters into his own hands sometimes, "Okay Granny." He smiled, "But if you see Pervy Sage, tell him to meet me in the training fields!"
Naruto then ran out of the apartment in order to fulfill his training for the day. The will of fire burned forevermore throughout his entire being, and that was something that Tsunade admired about him. She was now left alone in her teammate's bedroom and couldn't help but look around her surroundings. Of course, the room was a mess since it belonged to Jiraiya, but it also carried his masculine scent. It was a scent that Tsunade grew accustomed to over the years. Her eyes then wandered over to a picture that was sitting on top of his dresser. It was a picture of their team back when they were just Genin ranked ninjas. In the picture, Jiraiya was glaring at his rival and friend Orochimaru, while the snake Sannin had an expressionless look on his face, Tsunade was smiling sweetly in the middle of the two, and their sensei Sarutobi was standing behind them, smiling proudly with the young children he was in charge of. She smiled at the fact that Jiraiya still had that old photograph, but couldn't blame him for keeping it since she still had her copy as well. She couldn't waste anymore time, she had to find Jiraiya. She walked out of his bedroom and shut the door behind her before walking out of the apartment. As she stood outside his home, she thought about where else he could possibly be. The only other place she could think of was on top of the Hokage Stone Monuments. He often went up there to think in his youth, so perhaps that is where he wondered off to. She walked off on her journey to find Jiraiya, determined that this time around she would finally encounter him.
It didn't take her too long to arrive at the steps that would take her up the mountain to the Stone Monuments. This time, she took a path that was not too populated with villagers. It was getting late, and she didn't want the day to pass without speaking to Jiraiya. Furthermore, it would only be a matter of time until Koharu sent a search party out for her. She started her walk up the stairs and noticed that two construction workers were busy starting the carving process of her own monument. She felt somewhat weird about the fact that soon, her likeness would be carved into the mountain among her predecessors for the entire population of the village to see. How strange it would be to look up at the mountain from her office window and see her own face. She shuddered at the thought and continued her journey up the mountain and waved at the two construction workers who were working so hard to ensure that her carving would be perfectly done.
After what seemed like forever, she finally arrived at the top of the mountain. It was so peaceful up there, and one could see the entire village from that height. It was beautiful to say the very least, the perfect place to become lost in one's thoughts. However, her heart sunk after looking around and noticed that Jiraiya was not up there. Where could be possibly be? The sun was starting to set, and she realized that she would not be able to talk to Jiraiya, for he was nowhere to be found and she exhausted her ideas on where he could be. She sighed heavily and started her descent back to the village. Perhaps she would get the opportunity to reveal her feelings to him another day. She just hoped that she wasn't too late.
As she walked through the village on her way home, she noticed that many of the villagers returned to their homes for the night. It was perhaps time for them to sit down to a meal with their families. She wished that she could have the opportunity to do the same, but she was robbed of that many years ago. Yes, she was happy with the family unit she had with Shizune, but she yearned for more. She wanted love and compassion, but felt as if she would never have the chance to obtain all she wanted in life. She walked past the local bar that she visited quite often in the past, and wanted nothing more than to drown herself in alcohol. Ultimately she decided against it and proceeded on her journey home.
"It was nice talking with you Master Jiraiya."
Tsunade stopped dead in her tracks upon hearing Jiraiya's name. She turned around and saw Kakashi standing outside the bar with none other than Jiraiya. Kakashi looked as if he were under the influence, but Jiraiya looked completely sober.
"Remember what I told you Kakashi. Don't worry about Naruto." Jiraiya said and then noticed Tsunade looking at them, "Oh, Hi Tsunade." He smiled.
"Hello Lady Tsunade." Kakashi greeted with a slur, "I'll see you two later." He said and started to walk in the direction of his home. He was somewhat unsteady due to all the drinking he participated in, but they were certain he would make it home safely. He was Kakashi after all.
"Where have you been all day?" Tsunade asked Jiraiya, relieved that she finally found him, but also confused as to why he had been drinking with Kakashi.
"Kakashi wanted to speak to me about Naruto." He explained, "How are you even out and about without your entourage of security?" He asked, wondering what she was doing away from the Hokage mansion.
"I don't need them to be around me all the time." She said, "I've been looking for you all day."
Jiraiya was somewhat taken back by what she just told him, for he has been meaning to find her, "Why have you been looking for me?"
She took hold of his hand and stared intently into his eyes, feeling the need to have this conversation elsewhere, "I need to talk to you."
Thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it!
The next chapter will be the last one :'(
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