Chapter 8: Return to Abnormality

The cheering had eventually died down under Twilight's request to begin fixing the damage from the corruption and that final battle. Blah picked a nearly park bench on which to rest while the ponies enthusiastically started on rebuilding their town. Aside from the library and surrounding structures, most of the buildings were still in decent shape.

Occasionally, a pony would approach Blah and ask a few questions or offer him food and drink, which he gladly accepted. Before long, he had a small pile of various baked and confectionery goods, and a large glass of root beer.

"Homebrewed root beer is just the best," mused Blah between giant gulps. "I can't even remember the last time I had root beer this awesome. You've just earned yourself a new regular customer!" he praised the drink-bearing unicorn, who was overjoyed.

He continued snacking, watching as Twilight planted a sizable acorn in the spot where the library used to be. He was in the process of estimating how long a tree might take to grow to the size of her library when he was interrupted by yet another pony's voice.

"Pardon me, sir... Blahsadfeguie, was it?"

He glanced down at the bespectacled, dark-coated earth stallion, who had trouble maintaining eye contact in the wake of his gaze. Blah certainly hadn't expected any of them to get it right on the first try. "Yep, that's me," he affirmed. "Just Blah is fine, though. What's up?" He took another sip of root beer as he awaited a response.

"I-I just w-wanna know..." the stallion stammered, "how do you do it?"

Blah expected a bit of elaboration, but when none came, he grew slightly impatient. "Do what?"

"Uh..." The pony gulped audibly, searching for the right words to use. "How do you stay so confident?"

"Confident?" Blah repeated, to which the stallion nodded. Blah wasn't quite expecting such a personal question, but he didn't want to be caught stumped by it. He decided to stall. "Having self-esteem troubles, are we?"

"Just look," the pony resigned, turning his body somewhat shamefully to the side.

Blah calmly sipped from his glass again, confused as to what exactly he wanted him to see, until he suddenly realized what it was. This obviously adult pony had no cutie mark on his flank whatsoever. Blah had to take a moment more to process the meaning of this fact. "...Oh. I see," he said solemnly, trying to imagine what it must have been like for a pony to reach adulthood without discovering their special talent, their true calling. This pony needed help. "What's your name, buddy?"

"There you are! I should've known you'd be over here..." The stallion flinched at a stern voice from behind him. Blah looked up to see Hailstorm approaching, though to his surprise, he was looking at the other pony. "Look, if I couldn't help you, and your parents couldn't help you, I don't think this stranger's going to make any difference. Let's just leave him alone." He started to turn away.

"But... okay." The markless stallion reluctantly followed, giving up quickly.

Blah stood up. "Hang on a second," he called after the pegasus. "Hailstorm? Is this a friend of yours?"

"This doesn't concern you," snapped Hail. "You're the hero. You'd rather be basking in the glory and attention of every pony in Ponyville, anyway."

Blah stopped dead. Was his ego really showing that badly? "But you're a hero too," he cried.

"Not according to them," retorted his former ally, without even bothering to turn around. His friend, on the other hand, took a brief wayward glance at Blah before being halted by a sour glare from Hail, leaving him to stare uneasily at his feet instead.

The human remained frozen, stunned by the sudden hostility. "We can have that talk now!" he attempted, but neither pony so much as twitched.

Blah threw down his glass in disdain, the rest of his root beer seeping into the ground. He might have gotten carried away, but being denied a chance to make amends would weigh heavily on his mind for a long time. Knowing that one of his now biggest fans had such a soul-crushing problem and needed his advice didn't help either.

He sighed. All he could hope for at this point was that Hail would eventually cool off enough for him to apologize, and perhaps he'd get another opportunity to help his friend as well.

His absently drifting eyes rested on something large and brown. His train of thought having docked at the station, he was able to register this object. It was the library! Blah had to remove his glasses and wipe them on his shirt. When he put them back on, he confirmed it. The giant tree was back, exactly the way he remembered it from the cartoon.

Bewildered, he shuffled up to the door, giving it a few knocks. Yes, it was real. A few seconds later, he heard Twilight's voice answer from inside. "Come in!"

Blah pushed open the door. The interior was much the same as well, except most of the books were in a huge, disorganized pile on the floor. Twilight Sparkle was in the process of sorting through them, one by one, and placing them back on the shelves with her magic. A small, purple dragon fumbled through some of the books as well, thinking long and hard about where to place them.

Twilight quickly turned her head to identify her guest. "You didn't have to knock," laughed Twilight, returning to her books. "This is a public library." The young dragon turned around with a smile, waving at the human.

"Uh, yeah... of course." Blah could still hardly believe what he was seeing. "How did you..."

"Rapid growth spell," the unicorn answered matter-of-factly. "This isn't the first time the library was destroyed due to some crisis."

"Right..." Blah wasn't sure that he could accept "magic" as an explanation for anything he didn't understand, even in a world where magic had a real presence, but he had more important things to worry about. "So, uh... Twilight, you're an expert on friendship, aren't you?"

"Well, I don't know if I can call myself an expert," she modestly replied, "yet. But I'm working on it. Why do you ask?"

Blah took a deep breath. "Okay, so if you caught any amount of conversation between me and Hailstorm, you may have noticed that he and I haven't really been getting along. Now he won't even talk to me. He won't even let his friends talk to me."

"To be honest, I can understand where he's coming from," said Twilight. "When everypony turned back to normal, they saw how different you were and how, er, heroic you acted, and they assumed you were the one hero. You practically stole the spotlight. Nopony paid any attention to Hail at all."

Blah scratched his head. "Yeah, but... you were pretty important in that fight too, and you don't seem to care as much that you aren't getting showered with praise either."

"I don't need the recognition as much," Twilight explained. "I wield the central Element of Harmony. Me and my friends have saved Ponyville, and most of Equestria for that matter, loads of times. I'm actually getting kind of tired of being the center of attention. Hailstorm, on the other hand, hasn't had many opportunities to be a hero. This is probably his first time."

"Oh..." He hadn't thought about it that way. Blah didn't remember having such an opportunity himself, so he loved being able to take in the experience, but he didn't even consider that Hailstorm might have wanted the same thing. "So how do I fix this? Do I just go to each pony in town and say 'Hey, Hailstorm helped too'?"

"He did?" A bright and cheery voice from behind caused Blah to jump. "Wow, I should throw him a party too! You can never have too many parties!" He turned around, meeting face to face with the bounciest blob of pink he had ever seen, standing in the open doorway.

"Pinkie Pie?" Blah identified. "How long have you been standing there?"

Pinkie inhaled in a loud and drawn-out manner. Blah cringed internally in anticipation. "Not long actually 'cause I was looking all over town for you since you're new in Ponyville and also just saved it from being all purple and icky so I wanted to say hi and thanks and welcome and then throw you a big party but I couldn't find you so I figured I'd start by inviting Twilight and Spike and look here you are so thanks for saving the town and by the way how did you know my name we haven't even met yet but anyway welcome to Ponyville!"

When the cacophony of words and inflection was over, Pinkie stood perfectly still with a wide smile on her face, waiting patiently for Blah's response. Once again, he found himself at a loss for words, this time contemplating how it was even possible for any living being to say that much in one breath. Twilight and Spike shared a stifled chuckle.

"Well," Blah finally said, "I appreciate the gesture, but I don't really do parties."

"Awwww, don't be silly," Pinkie giggled. "You wouldn't not attend your own party, wouldn't you not?"

"Um." Blah paused, hung up on the exact meaning of the question. Was that a quadruple negative? "Okay, I'll come to the party," he surrendered, knowing it probably wouldn't have mattered what his response was.

Pinkie happily bounced twice her height into the air. "Great! Oh, you'll love it! There'll be games and music and balloons and streamers and root beer and cake and-"

"Wait wait wait," Blah interrupted, "how did you know I liked root beer unless you saw me already at that park bench, and therefore could have approached me there?"

"My Pinkie sense told me, duh!" the pink pony answered. "I already know everything about you, just like you know everything about me! I also know that you know everything about me! Well, not everything, but a lot of things!"

Blah raised an eyebrow, no less lost than when they began. "So why didn't you use your Pinkie sense to find me in the-"

"See you tomorrow at eight o' clock!" Pinkie finished. "Oh, and that's AM, not PM, sorry! Just go to bed early, okay? Bye!" She briskly bounded off into the distance, leaving Blah with no chance to say anything else.

"Bye, Pinkie Pie!" Twilight called after her. She turned to Blah. "Well, there you go! Instead of explaining the situation to everypony in town individually, you can just bring it up at the party. Assuming you are going."

"I was looking forward to being able to sleep in tonight..." Blah mumbled, glancing away. Twilight gave him an incriminating glare. He shrunk away, having had no idea that a pony could even be remotely intimidating. "But I guess a party could be fun, especially one hosted by Pinkie Pie."

"Good answer," approved Twilight, lightening up. "Now, speaking of whom, I have a question for you: you're obviously not from this world, so how do you know so much about everypony?"

Although he hadn't exactly been trying to hide it, Blah couldn't help but feel a bit taken aback that Twilight had figured it out so quickly. "Well, er..." he stammered, trying to figure out the least outlandish way of explaining it. "Where I come from, Equestria is a fictional world created by a team of people for a cartoon show meant to sell a line of pony toys for little girls."

Hearing this caused Spike to break down into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Twilight tried as hard as she could to keep a straight face, but Spike's laughter was too contagious, and soon she couldn't help but join in. 'Wow,' thought Blah with a roll of his eyes, 'the one time I'm not joking, and it knocks them dead.'

Noticing Blah was unamused, Twilight's laughter stopped. "Wait, you're serious?" she asked.

Blah nodded impatiently. "Without going into too much detail," he began, knowing that he could hardly stop himself from overstressing his opinions on the matter once he got going, "there's basically a huge fanbase for the show consisting of people my age, including males, due to its quality. Some of them can be..." He paused, searching for the most appropriate wording. "...really obsessive. Not me, though. I just happen to find the show enjoyable."

The puzzled expression on Twilight's face conveyed that she still didn't quite believe it. Blah continued. "Have you ever stopped and thought about Equestria, the way it's run, and its population and customs? Doesn't it all seem like the sort of thing specifically crafted by some other society to market to young girls?"

Thoughtfully, the unicorn paced off to the side. After a few seconds of mulling it over, her eyes grew wide. "I think you have a point..."

"Oh, come on, Twilight," Spike said between laughs. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Think about it, Spike," Blah tried. "Why is the ruler of all of Equestria a princess, rather than a queen? Why are all of the main cha- er, wielders of the Elements of Harmony exclusively female? Why is everyone a pony? And don't even get me started on cutie marks!"

"Okay, okay, I get it," Spike cut him short.

"Well, regardless of how it might have been conceived in another reality," Twilight asserted, starting to get annoyed by Blah's tone, "it is our reality, and now it's a part of yours. You would do well to respect that."

"And I do," Blah quickly defended himself, eager to suppress any further hostilities towards him. "I'm just saying, I've firmly established to myself that Equestria is a fantasy world, and then being thrust into that world and having to accept it as reality... it's really jarring, to say the least. Try to bear with me while I get used to it. Please?"

Twilight slowly nodded. "I understand. I know what it's like to be pulled out of one's comfort zone. I just have to make sure that you're not here to cause any harm."

"Actually, I'm honestly not sure why I'm here at all," Blah corrected. "I only remember vague details about my past life, specifically the world I came from, but I don't remember much of anything about myself, let alone how I wound up here. I don't even remember my own name. 'Blahsadfeguie' was the first thing to come to mind, but that's not even a real name. It's literally gibberish."

"You got that right," muttered Spike.

"So then," Blah resumed, ignoring the dragon for the time being, "I'm sure you're also wondering what's the deal with Ipsus and the Corruption. As you already know, Ipsus is one of my characters, so the two issues are probably linked. Do you think we can... help each other try to figure this out?"

"I was wondering when you'd ask," admitted Twilight. Blah emitted a sigh of relief as she continued. "I need to finish cleaning up this library. These books won't do us any good scattered all over the place like this. In the meantime, I'll send a letter to Princess Celestia and await her assessment of the situation. By the time Pinkie's party starts tomorrow, hopefully both of those things will be taken care of and we can get right on to the research. So, meet me back here tomorrow right after the party. Until then, just do... whatever it is you do."

Blah absorbed Twilight's instructions eagerly. "Awesome, you got it!" he agreed, already edging for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, then!"

"Bye!" said Twilight as Blah pulled the door closed behind him.

Spike glanced at the pile of books next to him with a groan, noting that it was still about his height. "He could have at least offered to help with the books..."

"Baby steps, Spike," concluded Twilight as she went back to sorting through her own pile.

Blah spent the rest of his time in Ponyville quietly picking up the dark scales and purple ore that the Eater of Worlds left behind, stashing them in his backpack. He then headed straight back for Blahtown using his all-too-convenient tunnel, as he probably would have gotten lost otherwise.

Applejack met him on the other side, about to tote a cart full of goods back through the tunnel. "Howdy, Blah," she greeted. "Leavin' so soon?"

"I'd ask you the same question," Blah responded, staring at the nearly overstocked cart.

"Well," said the earth pony, setting down the harness, "now that we have our farm back, I figured I should be gettin' all these crates and junk outta your way. Why, do you need me for somethin'?"

"I just assumed you'd be sticking around..." stated the human. "Blahtown's only going to grow from here, and we could really use a merchant." Despite having downed way too much confectionery goodness lately, he couldn't help but think about how much he loved that apple pie.

Applejack looked downward in thought. "I'll kinda have my hooves full with my usual chores on the farm, but seein' as this tunnel's still here... shoot, I might just try to visit once a day and see what y'all need."

Blah smiled, shaking the pony's hoof gratefully. "Cool, thanks! And if you ever need a place to stay, or store stuff, that house I built for you is still yours."

"Much obliged," Applejack returned the favor. "So, what are y'all up to next, anyway?"

"The Eater of Worlds dropped a bunch of demonite ore and shadow scales," Blah explained. "I was going to upgrade my gear with it, and maybe go exploring." Another thought tugged at the back of Blah's mind. "Oh, and I should probably tell you that Pinkie Pie's throwing a party tomorrow for... for our victory against the corruption." He had been about to say the party was for himself, but decided against it mid-sentence. "Tomorrow morning, eight o' clock."

"Pinkie already done told me, but thanks," laughed Applejack, leaving Blah feeling slightly embarrassed. "It sure didn't take her long to find the tunnel. Anyway, you can bet your bottom bit that I'll be there!"

"Cool," he answered. "Well, I better get started on those upgrades. See you later!"

"Have a good one!" said Applejack as she picked up the cart and disappeared into the tunnel.

Blah turned around to make the short walk back to his house, but he nearly bumped into someone standing right behind him. Jumping back warily, he saw that it was only Cody. "Dear God," Blah exclaimed. "You scared me... how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," the guide coyly replied, starting to follow Blah back into town. "So, am I invited to this party?"

"I didn't even know you could leave that chair," quipped Blah. "You should probably stay in Blahtown and keep watch. That way, you'll be useful for something."

Cody was unperturbed. "All right," he obeyed with a shrug. "Not that there's anything really to watch. It's boring in that wooden shack, you know."

"Shut up and tell me what all I can make with demonite and shadow scales," Blah ordered, not in the mood for any of Cody's remarks.

"Depends on what all you want to make," remarked Cody.

Blah drew in a long breath and sighed. "Fine, I'll just stick to my original plan," he resigned as he reached the door to his house and opened it. Cody walked in after him, making a beeline for his favorite chair.

Hastily setting his demonite ore in the furnace, Blah scattered his shadow scales on the anvil nearby to count them. Typically, from what he remembered in the game, the Eater of Worlds dropped enough materials to make one or two pieces of equipment, and here was no exception. By the time he retrieved the refined demonite bars, which pulsed with an eerie purple glow, he determined that he had enough to make two things at least. Cody looked on in mild curiosity as Blah hammered them together.

Blah held his first completed tool in his hands: a slender indigo pickaxe. Its shape was rough and irregular, and it exuded minuscule dark particles every so often from the tips. 'The Nitemare Pickaxe,' Blah reminded himself, holding his sinister creation at a slight distance. 'Capable of mining stronger materials like obsidian, meteorite, and... hellstone, I think? Eh, either way, an upgrade is an upgrade,' he dismissed as he set the Nitemare Pickaxe down. 'Now for the more important one...'

He had to utilize nearly all of his remaining shadow scales to compile the second upgrade; essentially a large sphere covered in spikes, from which protruded a long, gnarled stick. After gripping the menacing conglomeration of malice in the vague shape of a hammer tightly in both hands and lifting it from the anvil, he learned quickly that it was extremely heavy and poorly balanced. Gravity's pull was too strong, and the hammerhead yanked his arms downward, resulting in a large crack across the floor.

"Is The Breaker too heavy for you?" teased Cody, leaning back in his chair.

"I'll grow into it," Blah promised as he attempted to lift it again, using all of his strength. After going through the trouble of making the thing, he had to get at least some use out of it, and he knew that not much could hold back the mass of this weapon if it were swung. He just had to work out how to swing it without causing just as much damage to himself.

Determined to get a feel for it, Blah set down the Breaker for a moment and scrounged up some of his leftover wood, carrying it outside. Using some of his rope, he fashioned it together into a crude humanoid dummy and stuck it into the ground. Cody walked up to the window and watched Blah drag his new hammer out of the shack and towards his primitive training grounds.

Blah lifted the Breaker up a few inches from the ground. He took on a wider, lower stance to increase his stability. Taking a few deep breaths, he stepped forward, using all of his remotely relevant muscles to bring the hammer around and sling it in the dummy's general direction. The hammer moved, but he had misjudged his distance from the target and missed by a mile. The hammer kept going, and Blah attempted in vain to correct his balance. He lost his grip on the handle and fell, landing violently on his rear end.

"Looks like you should've made Light's Bane instead," bantered Cody.

Blah angrily stood and glared at the guide. "I am not resorting to using swords," he asserted, brushing himself off. "I just need more practice with hammers. The damage output is more than worth the awkwardness!"

"If you say so," Cody shrugged. "You might want to keep around your old hammer until then, though. Just a bit of friendly advice."

Blah sighed. He had really wanted to get some exploring done before the end of the day, but he'd have to spend all of that time training if he wanted to bring the Breaker along. "Guess I'll have to train with this some other time," he resolved as he dragged the Breaker back into his shack. "On the bright side, Cody," he added as he passed the smug man, "here's something you can watch. Make sure it doesn't get stolen or anything while I'm out, got it?"

"As heavy as it is," retorted the guide, "I doubt anyone would find it worth the trouble. But I'll keep an eye on it."

"Good." He set the hammer against the anvil, then circled around the room, regathering his supplies. He made sure to grab some wood and gel for torches, his old silver warhammer, and his quartz lance. He was happy to at least be able to pack his Nitemare Pickaxe as well.

As he stuffed the objects into his backpack, his peripheral vision picked up some movement out of the window. It was Applejack, presumably making a second trip to carry the rest of her merchandise back. 'Perfect timing,' thought Blah as he donned the pack and rushed out of the door to greet her again.

"Hey, Applejack!" he called, causing the earth pony to perk up. "I know this might be a tall order, but do you have about a dozen healing potions I can buy?"

Applejack laughed. "Funny you should mention healin' potions," she said, dropping the cart next to her building and heading inside. "Follow me, I got somethin' that'll knock your socks off!"

"It'll have to knock off my shoes first," Blah joked, trailing behind the pony eagerly.

Applejack walked up to a shelf and carefully brought down a crate full of bottles. She took one of them out and set it on top of a table. It was full of a candy-red, bubbling elixir. "This here's what I call Sparklin' Red Cider," she introduced. "I remembered you makin' those potions in the barn, so I went out, got the ingredients and tried it myself. But, the taste was so dog-gone awful that I had to add a little somethin' to the mix."

"So you mixed in some of your apple cider," Blah inferred. "Clever! I bet this stuff won't be nearly as sickening as a standard healing potion."

"Darn tootin'!" exclaimed Applejack. "I know your money is a bit different from ours, but I think five silver a bottle should about cover it."

Blah rummaged through his pockets. It seemed that the Eater of Worlds had dropped a couple of gold coins, so he had more than enough - 3 gold and 89 silver, to be exact. A good number, noted Blah. "Sweet, I'll take twelve of those, then!"

The merchant happily accepted the human's sixty silver coins in exchange for a whole dozen of her cider-potion hybrids, placing ten of them carefully in his pack and one in each of his pockets for quick retrieval.

Applejack tossed the silver coins into one of her saddlebags. "Pleasure doin' business with you. Use 'em wisely!"

"I will, thanks!" Blah waved as he walked outside of the building, finally ready for some alone time out in the world. 'Though if they taste anything like the cider I had before, I might not be able to help myself...' he worried. 'Maybe those other potions taste horrid for a reason...'