CHAPTER 10: Bobbing for Pokemon
The Ampharos's cry caused Bob to jump, out of both joy and astonishment. "Saucha!" the trainer acknowledged. "There you are! How many times do I have to tell you not to wander off in the middle of the night?" His tone quickly shifted from relief to disappointment.
"Yeah, yeah..." submitted Saucha the Ampharos, accepting the blame as if this incident had happened way too many times already.
"Honestly," continued Bob, shaking his head, "I'm beginning to think I should just never let any of you out of your Pokeballs until it's time for a battle..."
As if Blah had any doubts before about the odd-looking young man's identity, hearing the name of his Ampharos confirmed it. Bob Sladfigy was one of his first Pokemon-related characters, created as a sort of extreme caricature of himself at first, but slowly developed his own personality. It was a bizarre coincidence that, of all the Pokemon trainers in Sinnoh, Blah would run into him first.
"Hey, pal, do you mind? I can't lecture my Pokemon with you staring at me like that."
Blah snapped back to reality, suddenly aware that he must have been absently staring at the trainer for a full minute or so.
Bob angrily stared back, probably waiting for some kind of apology. "You got a problem with applying a little discipline where it's needed?"
"Of course not," Blah answered. "But I don't think it's really needed here." As much as he didn't want to antagonize anyone else, especially with Bob in one of his moods, he felt that the Ampharos deserved a little better. "It's pretty much your fault that you lost her, anyway. She fell into a cave and you failed to notice." Saucha perked up, surprised that anyone would come to her defense.
Bob scoffed in disbelief. "My fault? Failed to notice? I'll have you know I'm very vigilant when it comes to my Pokemon." His Buizel rolled his eyes dramatically at that statement. "Not that it's any of your business anyway. You don't see me telling you how to raise your Pokemon."
Blah shrugged. "I don't even have Pokemon, but I know an overreacting guardian when I see one."
Bob raised an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses. "Wait, you don't have Pokemon? What kind of a Pokemon trainer doesn't have Pokemon?"
"I never said I was a trainer," Blah replied.
"Then what are you doing in a Pokemon Center?" Bob seemed to have completely forgotten about his anger and was now curiously questioning Blah.
"I'm the one who found your Ampharos," Blah stated, "and I helped her out of the cave and lead her here, in the hopes that we might run into her trainer."
"Oh, you found her?" Bob suddenly grabbed Blah's hand and shook it gratefully. "Wow, thanks man! How can I ever repay you?"
Although Blah should have expected that behavior from his own character, Bob's complete 180 still left him winded. "Uh..."
"I know! I can help you catch a Pokemon, and show you the ropes!" The volatile trainer now wore a look of pride. "I like to think I'm a pretty great role model for newbies."
"He sure does like to think that..." muttered the Buizel.
"See, Franz agrees with me!" Bob falsely interpreted. Franz's facepalm went unnoticed. "Come on, I'll take you out to Route 212 right now! The first Pokeball's on me!"
As much as Blah wanted to respectfully decline in favor of making his way back in time, he did like the idea of having a companion with no external obligations, willing to help with whatever he needed. And the fact that he could apparently communicate with them made it all the more desirable. 'Shouldn't take too long, right?' Blah nervously asked himself. "Sure, sounds good," he accepted with a slow nod.
"Great!" Bob, still holding onto Blah's hand, practically dragged him to the door of the Pokemon Center. "You won't regret this, Mr., uh, what did you say your name was?"
"Blahsadfeguie," the older man introduced himself. "But you can just call me Blah."
"Really?" asked Bob. "That kinda sounds like my name. Bob Sladfigy. Funny how that works sometimes, huh?"
The realization struck Blah like a brick. Both of their names did sound remarkably alike, despite the fact that Blah pulled his current moniker completely out of thin air. Or so he thought...
The moon's light was obscured by the thick canopy above Blah and his new mentor, making the night as dark as it could be without leaving them totally blind. Blah would have opted to wait until the morning if he weren't on such a tight schedule. Bob, however, did not seem to mind the darkness at all, happily demonstrating his mastery of Pokemon hunting by walking in circles in the tall grass over and over again.
"Are you sure this is the best way to find a Pokemon?" Blah half-questioned, half-sighed.
"Patience is the key, young apprentice!" snapped Bob without stopping. "Sometimes the RNG doesn't play nice, but yes, you'll eventually encounter a Pokemon this way."
Bob's liberal use of video game terminology in this context left Blah baffled. "Is... is he for real...?"
"You know how they say there's always a method to the madness?" Franz chimed in. "Well, his method is madness."
Again, Blah knew he shouldn't be surprised, and yet seeing Bob's insanity in person was simply too much for him to comprehend. "How does he even function...?"
"He has us," Franz answered bluntly. "Without us, Bob'd probably challenge his own shadow to a fist-fight for stalking him everywhere. And lose."
Blah had to laugh at that one, though he quickly stifled when Bob gave him a strange look.
Franz flashed Blah a similar expression. "You actually understood that?"
"I did," Blah said back. "I'm apparently some kind of Pokemon whisperer now."
"You could stand to whisper a little quieter, then," scolded Bob, before resuming his exercise in futility.
Both of them went silent after that, letting only the sounds of nocturnal creatures fill the night air.
The silence was broken by a new voice that Blah had never heard before. "You have me to thank for that."
Blah jumped, looking frantically around for the voice's owner. It was feminine, precise, and quite airy. But that wasn't why Blah was so startled by it. It sounded crystal clear and very close by, almost as if it came from his own head. Neither Franz nor Bob seemed to visibly react to the voice, either. Blah shrugged it off as some kind of hallucination brought about by lack of sleep.
"You are not imagining things," the voice spoke in his head again. "I am as real as you are."
By this point, Blah would normally be uneasy, but the voice was oddly soothing, like that of an angel. "...Who's there?" he finally breathed, so quiet that he suspected nobody else heard it.
"Look behind yourself, in the treetops."
Blah did as the voice commanded, and found himself gazing into a pair of faintly glowing purple orbs, glistening from between the branches.
He put two and two together. 'A Psychic-type Pokemon...?' he guessed in his head, before attempting to come up with a response.
"That is correct." Blah froze. Somehow, the possibility that the Pokemon could directly read his mind escaped him. "No need to be alarmed. I have been watching you ever since you came here, Blahsadfeguie."
'How is that not cause for alarm?' retorted Blah.
"It was inevitable that you and I would eventually cross paths," the voice continued, ignoring Blah's qualms. "When I sensed your presence, I began to mentally translate all nearby Pokemon for you."
'Well, that was kind of you, I guess...' thought Blah, not satisfied in the slightest. 'But who are you, and why are you doing this for me?'
The orbs blinked out for a microsecond before the voice continued. "I am called Seraphina. I have foreseen much chaos in this world as of late. Ever since your arrival here, I knew that you would be the one who would ultimately set it straight. I therefore wish to assist you in any way I can."
Blah could hardly believe it. Some strange psychic creature he just met was telling him that he would save this mixed-up universe from an unknown force of chaos, like he was some kind of chosen one. It sounded ridiculous. However, if this presumably powerful Pokemon wanted to devote herself to his causes, he had no reason to complain. At the very least, it sounded like it would be much harder to screw up this friendship.
That, and he couldn't stand to spend another minute outside in the cold, dark night with that lunatic of a Pokemon trainer.
"I understand you would like me to satiate this obnoxious human," Seraphina spoke again, taking the words right out of his brain. "Very well, I shall reveal myself."
'You'll really just let me capture you?' asked Blah.
"I never said that. I intend to become your ally, not your slave."
'But what if Bob...'
Blah's thoughts were cut short as a brief flash of lavender light abducted the orbs from the took Blah a moment to realize that Seraphina had teleported in front of him. The light was barely sufficient for Blah to recognize the outline of the Pokemon - an Abra. As fond as he was of the species of psychic fox, he began to wonder how useful she would be with Abra's limited set of moves.
Regardless, Blah figured it would be sufficient to get the boy off his back. He loudly cleared his throat. "Hey, Bob, look what I found."
On the brink of lashing out, Bob turned around. "This better be im-" His own gasp interrupted him as he spotted the Abra. "A Pokemon! Quickly, Franz, use Aqua Jet!"
Blah was afraid that Bob would be eager to start a battle. "Now, hold on a second..." he began, to no avail.
"Finally, some action!" Franz, oblivious to the Abra's true purpose, excitedly enveloped himself in water and blasted off, heading straight for Seraphina. Instead of colliding with her, however, Franz kept going and crashed into a nearby tree.
The Abra had teleported away. Blah predicted that much. He, and especially Bob and Franz, could not have predicted what would happen next - a ball of green, undulating energy shot out at Franz from behind, knocking him harshly to the ground just after he recovered. The two humans tracked it to its source and found Seraphina standing several yards away.
"What the heck was that?!" Bob shouted, utterly confused.
"I think that was Energy Ball..." Blah recognized. A strong Grass-type move, he recalled. Not one that was outside Abra's potential as a whole, but the fact that she knew more than just Teleport was interesting to say the least.
Bob shook his head. "Whatever it was, it was just a fluke!" he exclaimed. "Franz, shake it off and use Pursuit! That works against Teleport, right?"
His trainer's words brought Franz to his feet, despite being visibly shaken by the super-effective move. He glared at the Abra and charged with blinding speed, not about to be fooled a second time. As Seraphina teleported away, just as he anticipated, he stopped and turned around, expecting another ranged attack from behind.
Instead, the Buizel was met with a sharp kick to the face. It wasn't a very strong kick, coming from a physically weak Pokemon, but it broke his concentration long enough for the Abra to seize him high into the air with telekinesis and slam him into the ground.
Blah was very much impressed, but Bob began to panic. "Come on, Franz, we can't lose to a wild Pokemon!" he encouraged. "Especially not in front of this newbie," he quietly added through gritted teeth. "Use a Swift attack!"
Franz, on the other hand, was more frustrated than worried, but he certainly shared Bob's determination. "Let's see you dodge this one," he growled as he jumped to his feet and slung his tails around, producing a contingent of bright star-shaped projectiles, which homed in on the Abra.
Rather than teleport away, Seraphina stood firm with both arms in front, taking the hits in stride. The moment the assault ended, she disappeared again. Franz already knew that the Abra could attack from any distance. This time, he was ready for anything. He scanned the horizon, hoping to find the outline of his opponent before the attack even came.
Both Bob and Blah immediately saw that he would never find her this way, though. Bob's fists clenched. "Franz, above you!" he shouted.
But by the time his Buizel heard the warning, it was already too late. He looked up and only caught a slight glimpse of the Abra before her Shadow Ball finished him off. Franz fell unconscious, his energy diminished, as Seraphina landed gracefully on the ground nearby.
Bob was completely still and silent, frozen with his jaw wide open at what he had just witnessed. As soon as he remembered Blah was there, he hastily regained himself. "Uh, don't worry," he uttered, returning Franz to his Pokeball and sorting through his others, "I've still got plenty of other Pokemon..."
Blah held up his hand. "Bob," he addressed, "stop. Just stop."
"No, no, I can do this, just you wait!" yelled Bob, finally settling on another Pokemon to use, reeling back his throwing arm.
"I would advise that you listen to Blahsadfeguie," Seraphina calmly spoke, causing Bob to freeze again.
"Did..." Bob started, slowly lowering his arm. "Did that Abra just talk...?"
"Oh good, I'm not the only one who can hear her," Blah observed, half-sarcastically.
"I am not here to battle you, or to be captured," the Abra continued. "I am only here to assist this human."
"You were incredible for not being here to battle, though," Blah complimented. "Where did you pick up those skills?"
"Observation," she answered simply.
"So..." voiced Bob, desperately trying to evaluate what had just happened, "...you had a Pokemon this whole time? You lied to me, just so you could humiliate me?"
"That's not it at all!" protested Blah. "I had no idea Seraphina existed until a few minutes ago... she spoke to me and said that she wanted to help me save the world, or something along those lines."
"Oh. Yeah. I totally believe that." As Blah talked, Bob grew more and more certain that his earlier statement was the truth. He threw his arms up into an exasperate shrug. "Look, guy, if you wanted a battle, all you had to do was ask!"
Blah's heart sank as he came to the realization that he had indeed antagonized yet another person. "But neither one of us was looking for a battle..."
Bob cackled a very worrying, somewhat maniacal cackle. "Well, too bad, because you just got one!" He drew his arm back again. "Go, Tryder!" The Pokeball hit the ground, opening up to reveal a rather confused Togetic.
"Perhaps we should leave him," Seraphina proposed. "He is upset about his defeat, and cannot listen to reason at the moment."
Blah did not like the idea of simply leaving someone who was mad at him. "But..."
"It is not your fault that he is angry. He simply misunderstands our situation. There is nothing we can do but leave and let him cool off on his own."
"Something tells me Bob's not going to let us escape..." argued Blah.
"I would like to see him try and stop this," Seraphina objected.
Blah was about to ask what the Abra was talking about, but before he knew it, she was seated on his shoulders, around his head. Giving nobody a chance to speak, the two of them promptly disappeared in a flash.
Bob was outraged. "No! There's no running from a trainer battle!" he shouted to the empty air, but they were already long gone.
The sudden change of lighting caught Blah off-guard, forcing him to cover his eyes. It didn't take them long to focus again, though, and he realized he was standing back in his crude wooden house in Blahtown, where Cody had been sitting in his chair, passing the time with a book.
Blah's unconventional entrance did not even faze Cody. "Welcome back, Blah," he greeted as he turned a page.
It took a moment for Blah to realize what happened, and when he did, he laughed. "Wow. I completely forgot Teleport works on other people as well..."
"I trust that you no longer doubt my usefulness?" asked Seraphina from atop the workbench, a hint of playfulness in her voice.
"Oh, I stopped doubting you the moment you used Energy Ball, Seraphina," smirked Blah. "By the way, mind if I call you Sera?"
"Only if I may call you Blah," answered Sera.
"Excellent," Blah interjected as he removed his backpack. The weight of it reminded him that he still had a massive load of ore from his most recent spelunking trip.
Almost subconsciously, he started by retrieving the silver ore and throwing it into the furnace. Sera quietly watched as he removed bar after bar from it, setting them into a neat pile nearby.
It was Cody who eventually broke the silence. "So, who's your new friend?" he asked.
"If you were listening at all, you'd know by now..." sighed Blah as he moved on to his gold ore.
"I am Seraphina," Sera patiently introduced. "My purpose is to aid Blah, and ensure his survival and triumph in this world."
"Why, is he the Chosen One or something?" joked Cody.
"According to my sources, yes," the Abra responded. "It is his destiny to reverse a great disaster that would befall this universe."
"Is that so?" said the guide, in a way that left Blah unsure whether he believed it or not. "What kind of disaster?"
"Something about chaos, I guess?" shrugged Blah as he set his gold bars next to the silver ones. "I think the Corruption might have been part of it."
"I am unsure of the exact nature of the disaster myself," admitted Sera. "I will have to meditate on that tonight. Perhaps the answer will come to me."
"Yeah, good plan," Blah yawned as he took off his armor and crawled into bed. He was looking forward to getting a good night's sleep in a real bed for once, especially after such a long, eventful day. "Be sure to wake me before 8:00, alright?"
Sera nodded. "Of course. Good night, Blah and Cody."
Blah rolled over onto his side. "Night, Sera."
Cody did not budge. "Don't let the bedbugs bite."
Anticipating several minutes of laying awake, Blah began to revisit his most prominent questions: Who was he, really? What's the deal with this mixed-up universe? Could he succeed in patching things up with Hailstorm? Sure, it felt silly to lump in personal matters with the rest of his overarching issues, but Blah couldn't bear to simply abandon his chance at befriending his first real acquaintance in this world.
But his interactions with the other people he met gave him continued hope. He realized his mistakes, was assured that not everything was always his fault, and learned that even though nobody's perfect, there's potential for good in everyone. Perhaps even Bob could forgive him in due time, if they ever met again.
Whether due to newfound comfort or sheer exhaustion, it did not take long for Blah to drift off.