CHAPTER 22: Truth Cakes
"So..." started Hailstorm, the face of the massive castle continuing to penetrate his confidence. "You think your brother is in there...?"
"Yes..." answered Luigi. "I hope-a he's ok..."
"Well, what are y'all waiting for?" Applejack took charge. "Let's bust in and give 'im a hoof! And a hand!"
"Wait, wait!" Luigi stopped the country pony in her tracks. "They'll be expecting-a that... we should sneak in through-a the window."
"I would certainly promote that idea," Seraphina agreed, "but we have already been spotted."
Two dark, armored Koopa guards wielding iron spears were in the middle of rushing across the bridge to drive off the heroes.
Hail stared, frozen with fear, at the incoming guards, and his wings unfurled reflexively. This reminder brought a wave of confidence back to the pegasus. "Hah! Are you forgetting something?" He took off into the air, carrying a startled Luigi, and flew over the guards and straight for a window. Sera followed his lead and teleported herself and Applejack on the guards' other side.
One of the guards quickly motioned to the other, and both of them sprouted wings of their own. One chased after Hailstorm, and the other turned around, hovering in front of Applejack.
A quick glance behind himself brought this oversight to Hail's attention. "And of course they can fly too..." He turned around to meet the Parakoopa, only to realize that he had misjudged the sentient turtle's air speed... which was surprisingly fast for one with such heavy armor.
Luckily, Luigi was ready - he deflected the Koopa's spear thrust with his hammer and was gearing up for a counterstrike. Unluckily, Luigi began to lose his balance at that time. Hail had to struggle to keep him mounted.
"Don't attack, we can avoid them for now," Sera instructed Applejack, already poised to dash at the guard. She reluctantly complied, and Sera blinked both of them to a nearby castle windowsill.
They hardly expected the Koopa to almost instantly chuck his spear with lethal accuracy straight at Applejack's head. She ducked just in time, and the spear merely clipped her ear as she retreated into the castle itself. The Koopa followed close behind.
The other Koopa recovered his grip on the spear and stabbed at Luigi again. Hail dove under the swing, putting Luigi in the perfect position to clobber the Koopa right in the relatively lightly-covered stomach. The recoil pushed both parties apart from each other, and Hail took the chance to dart into the window. The Parakoopa recovered shortly and followed.
Once inside, on solid ground, Luigi dismounted Hailstorm to meet the Koopa face-to-face. The plumber and the pony rushed at the Koopa from two sides at once, and the turtle made the mistake of aiming for Hailstorm first. Hail dodged easily as Luigi slammed down on the Koopa with his hammer, causing him to withdraw into his shell so that Luigi could kick him out of the window and straight into the lava moat.
Applejack waited just inside the castle for the other guard, facing the opposite direction, and just as he entered, she unleashed a powerful two-legged buck which sent Bowser's minion out of the air where he suffered the same fate as his patrol-mate.
"Whew..." she sighed, getting a good look at the castle's interior. Impressively large stone brick arches and pillars composed much of the architecture, and it was rather well-maintained, decorated with dark red tapestries and engravings resembling the castle's owner. The two of them appeared to be in a wide hallway with many branching rooms.
Hail looked around a bit for the other half of their rescue party, but found no one. Luigi and Hailstorm were in a completely different wing of the castle. "All right then, let's go back for Ap-"
SLAM. Black, metal bars slid down over the open windows, barring them in the castle. "Seriously...?"
"Well, so much for that plan," Applejack lamented at the window that had shut behind her as well. "At least we don't have to deal with lava or nothin' for a while."
It seemed that separation was the least of their worries - the entire castle shook as giant internal mechanisms slid into place. The very floor was changing around them. Large chunks were elevated upwards and downwards, or removed entirely and replaced with pits of lava, creating a complex obstacle course. Spikes emerged from the ceiling and parts of the floor. Wall turrets gushed streams of flame. Koopas wearing blue robes and odd glasses materialized onto some of the safer platforms in a process Sera was quite familiar with. Brandishing wands, the magicians cackled in unison as they awaited each pair's first moves.
"Okie dokie... that's a new one..." Luigi mumbled anxiously.
"New?" Hail repeated, his eyes fixated on the hazardous halls. "I'd assumed you were used to this kind of stuff."
"Bowser usually isn't this-a thorough."
Blah stepped out of his half-built stone brick house, made from materials he had stashed in the back of his backpack, and gazed at the meteor that was nearing the earth. It would touch down very shortly, and shortly after that, he would arrive and mine it out.
He was cruising through previously unexplored territory, so he'd get a bit of exploration done in the meantime. Hooray for unintentional multitasking!
Blah looked down at the land below the island, noting that they were over a desert. There was a mountain range up ahead that he had previously overlooked, and the mountains extended higher than the island was hovering.
"Can we fly over the mountains?" Blah asked a nearby echidna.
"We cannot change elevation," the echidna replied. "We will plot a course around them."
Blah frowned. That would take forever...
"No. Keep going straight ahead." Blah's tone was quite serious.
"But..."
"Don't question me, I am your leader!" Blah fetched his Breaker and headed for the front of the island.
"Is he seriously planning to..." one echidna started to whisper to another.
Blah stood at the very edge, waiting for the mountain to approach. The pilot tentatively careened forward, slowing down a little bit, to which Blah held up his hand and said simply "Just trust me."
The mountain approached swiftly. He held out his hammer, tightening his grip as well as his closed eyes. The red aura flowed through him once more. "Fist of the Milky Way..." He waited until the mountain was just out his his reach. The echidnas were exchanging nervous glances.
Blah raised his hammer, which began to glow a deep, dark red. "Terraform!" he shouted, bringing it down on the mountain the moment it was in range. There was a deafening crack, and the mountain had split in two, crumbling away before everyone's very eyes. The resulting tremor in the mainland chipped away at some of the other mountains as well.
The island pushed the debris aside and moved on, past the desert and the above the lower mountains. Blah was forced on his behind from the rebound.
There was a lot of tense, awe-struck murmuring from the crowd, but perhaps the most impressed soul on the island was Blah himself. He looked down at his hammer, then at his own two hands, catching a glimpse of the aura as it faded away. He felt suddenly very winded and disoriented, his short-term memory playing tricks on him - was that really him? Was he that strong already?
Or did the meteor colliding with the ground at the exact moment that he crashed the mountain have anything to do with it?
Blah scratched his head. Yet another coincidence for the skepticism pile...
AD: See? You're alive. You're capable of accomplishing great things after all.
HD: but how though
HD: im still in my house
HD: did the meteor just disappear or something
HD: i dont think space rocks can just vanish
AD: Have you tried looking out your window?
AD: ...Reed?
AD: Oh dear. You seem to have fainted.
AD: Well then, I suppose you won't mind if I poke around your room a bit
AD: um
AD: what is that
AD: reed please wake up there are demons in your house.
AD: and they are stealing your chairs.
"...did you hear that?" Astra perked up from the backseat.
"Uh, not at all," replied Sonic sarcastically. "It's not like the meteor that we were watching just crashed into the ground."
"It sounded like more than a meteor..." Astra continued.
Tails glanced back at her. "I'm... not really sure I know what you're-"
"Aha! Check it out!" Sonic pointed out a certain floating island visible in the distance over the mainland. "Looks like he's heading for the crash site... How much do you wanna bet that Blah is responsible for the meteor somehow?"
"He might be strong," Tails admitted, "but I doubt he can summon meteors from space. I can't think of any logical way within our technology that could do that."
"Oh... I could think of a few ways..." Astra said, thoughtfully gazing into the sky.
"...whatever," Sonic dismissed. "All I know is, the sooner we catch up to him, the better. Full speed ahead, buddy!"
"You got it, Sonic!" Tails maximized the throttle and the Tornado zoomed forward at nearly double its cruising speed. Sonic even had to crouch down at that rate.
There was a distant humming. Blah looked to the sky behind the island, and squinted to see the tiny reddish dot that rapidly approached. "Oh jeez, is that who I think it is...?"
He was not looking forward to talking to Sonic anytime soon. His best guess was that the gang had come for their island back, even though he needed it for ways that they couldn't really understand - heck, not even Blah fully understood it, but if it was his decision, he was going to stick to it. He stood up, strapped his Breaker to his back, and headed for the opposite end of the island. Many of the echidnas followed suit, unsure if they wanted to defend their new commander in the case of an attack, or rebel...
The plane landed, a safe distance from Blah, and he kept a calm hand on his hammer as he waited for the dismount. The first one off the plane was a face that he was quite familiar with, and not at all wary of.
Astra glanced across the field at Blah with a look of concern, of sadness. Blah was incapable of speech as Tails and Sonic set foot on Angel Island.
"I think you know why we've come..." Astra said simply. She saw Blah's hand, frozen on his weapon, and she placed a cautious hand on hers as well.
Upon hearing her voice for the first time, Blah blinked. He withdrew his hand, sensing no hostility in her voice whatsoever - it was as if she was calling for help. As if he was a close friend, maybe even relative, with a shoulder to lean on. And, even though he had not yet spoken a word to her, he felt the same way. It was somewhat comforting, and yet chilling at the same time.
"Well..." Blah replied, his voice shaken. "I had to do it... nobody takes me seriously... they wouldn't help, they wouldn't understand..."
Astra walked up to the now completely submissive Blahsadfeguie and put her hand on his shoulder. "It's ok. The truth is often difficult to comprehend, let alone swallow." She gazed into his mirror-like eyes. "But as long as you firmly believe it yourself, you have every right to be taken seriously. Do you believe, honestly, that what you have done... are doing... is necessary?"
Blah looked down. "I don't know anymore. I can't even take myself seriously."
"Then perhaps it is not the truth?" Astra questioned. "Maybe there's another way?"
Blah's eyes shifted. There was no way of knowing what the truth even was. All he had was what he had been told, and in a world where questions outnumber answers, he had to stick with something lest he go insane. The voice provided guidance, something he could stick to. He had to follow its advice, even if it meant going against everyone else's wishes... right?
He thought back to the voice's commands. Challenging Knuckles to a high-stakes fist-fight solely to prove that he wasn't worthless... what. He defeated the Eater of Worlds, and was already a hero in the eyes of many! Not to mention the many friendships he had made in the course of his stay in this world.
As much as the idea pained him, maybe he did have a lapse in judgment - and the voice was not entirely to blame.
Blah sighed, picking a large rock to sit down on. "Yeah, I goofed," he admitted. "Everyone makes mistakes, and I am by no means an exception. What's the point of trying to repair lives if you're just going to destroy them in the process? Tell Knuckles he can have his island, as well as his people, back. Right where I got it from, if he wants. Tell him that the Master Emerald will remain intact as long as I have any say in it. And finally, tell him that if he wants me off of his island, I will gladly leave quietly. Just let it be known that I tried my best to rescue a world from chaos."
Astra smiled, as did Sonic, Tails, and the entire echidna tribe. Blah felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.
"Look..." Sonic approached him. "If it means that much to you... we'll help you out in any way we can. You've given me all the proof I need to trust you." He looked over at Tails, who nodded understandingly.
"So, how are we going to do this?" Blah asked. "We can't all ride back on that plane, can we? And should I bring the island back, or...?"
"No need to move just yet, I can call him with this," said Astra, pulling out a smart-phone-like device. She pressed a few buttons, and a soft ping came from it. "Huh... I've got an urgent message from a friend."
"Go ahead, this can wait a few minutes," Sonic allowed.
- accommodatedDragon [AD] began pestering starfaringPioneer [SP] at 18:30 -
AD: We have kind of a problem here.
AD: Me and Reed started playing this game and his entire house was teleported to a weird place
AD: just in time to avoid getting hit by a meteor
AD: But now he's currently unconscious while demons are looting his furniture
AD: they'll find him soon
AD: What do?
SP: I told you that this game was a bad idea...
AD: But it's a computer game, it's kind of hard to believe it could put someone in real danger
SP: And it's kind of hard to believe you're an actual dragon...
SP: but I do, despite having no actual evidence of this...
SP: sometimes you just have to trust your friends, you know?...
AD: Ok ok, I get it, but what's done is done
AD: How do I get a sleeping Reed up in time to deal with some freaky fox monsters out to kill him and smash his chairs
AD: pestering doesn't work as usual.
SP: What is it with you and chairs, anyway?...
AD: I just happen to like chairs, is all.
AD: Something about the shape.
AD: But that's not important.
AD: Help please?
Astra was biting her lip; she really did not know how to answer her friend.
"No way, is that really... is this... Pesterchum?" Blah exclaimed excitedly, looking over her shoulder. "And, are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"
"Hey!" She withdrew her phone, taken aback by Blah's light-heartedness. "This is a private conversation..."
"Too bad, I just so happen to know exactly what you guys are dealing with."
"...ok, fine. Just be thorough, she's not all that familiar with computer games." She handed the phone to Blah.
SP: hello, testing?
AD: Testing what, this is serious
SP: kay, this is Astra's friend Blah
SP: she has no clue about this game but I've seen it before
AD: Blah? That's kind of a silly name.
SP: yeah yeah
SP: anyway certainly by now you know about the basic cursor commands right?
SP: like, select, deploy, revise, etc?
AD: Oh... right.
AD: I accidentally dropped his bed through the window the first time I tried it, so I didn't want to mess with that.
AD: Any more than I had to, I mean.
SP: lol
SP: that happens a lot, don't worry
SP: anyway a server can usually kill imps by dropping something on them
SP: or removing the floor underneath them maybe
AD: I'd rather not screw around with his house any more than I already have.
SP: then you'll have a hard time playing SBURB
SP: but whatever, if you really don't want to do that
SP: just pick up something with select and try poking this Reed fellow with it
AD: He's kind of a heavy sleeper.
SP: make some noise, then
SP: use something big
SP: set the house on fire
SP: but don't actually do that
AD: Um, he has a grand piano in the living room...
SP: that will do nicely
AD: You want me to hit him with his piano?
AD: Seriously?
SP: nah, just dropping it might work
SP: it's a piano, it makes noise
AD: If you say so.
AD: Oh dear.
AD: Well, at least he's awake now.
AD: On the other hand, there's a massive hole in the floor where his piano used to be.
SP: you are welcome.
SP: :L
Blah tossed the phone back to Astra triumphantly.
"Remind me never to take advice from you in the future," Astra commented.
"Oh yeah, speaking of advice," Blah said, "You'll probably end up having to play the game yourself in the future. As well as any other friends you might have on your chumroll. I might even become a part of it too." Blah giggled at the thought. Sure, it was a dangerous game, but it was a FUN game.
"How do you know so much about this game anyway?" Astra asked skeptically. "Have you played it before?"
"Not exactly." Blah looked back at her with a wide grin. "Let me tell you about Homestuck."
Fun fact: I had no idea what to name this chapter.
Fun fact 2: I also have no idea what else to say about it.
Fun fact 3: Thanks for reading!