We just got a chapter~ we just got a chapter~

We just got a chapter~ I wonder if it's dumb?

(in other words, hello, I'm not dead, sorry for the wait, blah blah blah here you go.)

CHAPTER 27: Triangular Tryhard

It was true that Wario's car was way too small to conceivably fit 6 different people. However, Wario could be pretty resourceful for the right price. Blah, Astra, Broshi and Violet (Astra thought it a fitting name) rode behind in a minecart that Wario hitched to the back of his car with some rope that he found. Blah still had no idea whether or not that stuff was actually his, but he didn't care. He'd had far too many mishaps for one day as it was.

But it seemed that he'd still have a bit of down-time as he waited to arrive at the castle - about ten minutes or so, according to Wario.

He turned to Astra. "So..." he began, the rushing wind concealing his voice to everyone but her. "Rocket parts? Shooting for the stars, eh?" He had always been curious, but had never had a chance to ask until now.

Astra looked back at him apprehensively. "Well... it's not so much the stars I'm shooting for..." She didn't seem eager to say any more.

"C'mon, you can trust me," said Blah, "You can tell me anything, sis." Blah didn't realize what he had called her until several seconds later. Somehow, it felt completely natural for him, and something told him that it felt just as natural for Astra as well.

She released her tension with a sigh. "Ok... well... I've been trying to figure out who my parents are for the longest time... I've never met either of them, you see... but I was told that my mother went into space..."

"Your mom was an astronaut?" Blah asked.

"Maybe... but it's the only lead I've got, so I'm going to build a rocket and..."

"Space is kind of big," Blah noted. "Are you sure you're going to be able to find her by just cruising through space in a rocket?"

Astra glanced away silently. Blah put a hand on her shoulder. "Look - it may be tough, but I can help you build that rocket and look for her. Space is my specialty now, we'll have it conquered in no time." Blah smiled. He was also looking forward to getting to explore space as well, even if it was the space of another universe.

"Ok... thanks," said Astra. "I was starting to doubt that myself, but I didn't expect it to be easy."

"Anytime," Blah replied with a nod. He began to lean back in the cart.

"Waah!"

Blah's slight rest was interrupted by a shriek from Waluigi, and Blah glanced over in time to catch him coming up from a duck. He looked at the object he had just dodged, and it was a red Koopa shell.

"What, are we playing Mariokart now?" Blah guessed as he checked the direction it came from, and his question was answered immediately. It appeared to be a massive battle between Koopa Troopas and an alliance of ponies and toads. Upon closer inspection, another kind of reptile was fighting alongside the Koopas. They looked like dragons, but not all of them had wings as the ones that he already encountered had.

"Are we driving THROUGH a war zone?!" Astra shouted.

"We'll be out in a jiffy!" Wario yelled back. "It's faster this way!"

Another shell whizzed by Blah's head. "Faster to our graves, maybe!"

"Ack!" cried Violet, ducking under a stray beam of unicorn magic.

"Hmph!" Broshi stood in the cart, getting quite fed up with the danger. His tongue shot out, lapping up an incoming fireball and spewing it straight back where it came from. It struck a Parakoopa out of the sky.

"Oh yeah, I forgot Yoshis could do that..." muttered a flabbergasted Blah.

Broshi continued to defend their cart from projectiles, and when the fire started getting really hectic, Blah took up his hammer and began to hit things himself. Somehow, the six of them managed to get out without injury.

"Thanks for nearly getting us killed..." whined Waluigi.

"What a bunch of babies..." Wario mumbled.

The wasteland terrain began to get more and more uneven, and mountains blocked the setting sun, creating a dim twilight. The landscape was ravaged and charred. There were occasional pools of lava supplementing what little light there was. And, in the distance, a dark castle loomed.

Wario screeched to a halt. "Ok, this is where you get off," he grumbled.

"What, you're not coming with us?" Blah asked, climbing out of the cart.

"You think-a we're stupid or something?" Wario answered. "We're merchants, not heroes. Now unless you got-a something else you want to buy, get out!"

"Hmm." Blah thought for a moment. "You have any bombs?"

Waluigi cackled. "Waah, but of course!" He pulled out a large bag, opening it to show off a sizable pile of Bob-ombs. "The going rate is 50 silver per bomb!"

"10 should be plenty," Blah said, handing him 5 gold coins in exchange for a small bag of bombs.

"Pleasure doing business," Waluigi chuckled after pocketing the coins. "Now come on, let's amscray."

"Way ahead of you," said Wario, shifting the car back into gear. "See you later, if you're still alive! Wa ha ha!" The mustachioed duo zoomed away.

"Well that certainly makes me feel confident," Blah remarked, picking up his pack and bomb bag.

"So, about that battle..." Astra began as they walked the rest of the way towards the castle. "I think that pretty much concludes that Trank and the dragons are connected."

"More or less," said Blah. "And Trank may not have had the capacity to summon an army of dragons, but there is something familiar about the dragons themselves... for instance, do you think it's odd that none of the dragons we've fought so far could breathe fire?"

"Well, I'm certainly not complaining..." acknowledged Astra.

"I think I might have an idea of what they are," Blah stated. "But it's just an idea. I'd like to have a bit more evidence before I go jumping to conclusions this time..." The idea he had in mind was a bit too strange even for him at this point. "Anyway, we should focus on getting through this castle. Stay back..."

The four of them hid behind a large rock, out of sight of the two Koopa guards at the entrance. Blah took a single bob-omb from his bag, lighting it, and charged at the castle. As soon as he was within throwing range, he let the bomb loose. The two Koopas didn't know what hit them. And neither did the castle, which now had a massive gaping hole where the main doors used to be.

"...is this necessary?" questioned Astra, shocked.

"There's no time to fool around with traps or guards," Blah called as he ran into the castle, the rest of his bombs ready at his side. "Come on!"

Astra and the Yoshis followed, keeping a safe distance and watching his back.

Blah, as if reading a mental map of the castle, bombed his way through the floors and walls to carve a path straight to the throne room. He was so quick, the guards couldn't group fast enough to make a proper counter-attack. The ones that did manage to gather were caught in the blasts, seriously damaged. Blah didn't care who or what he bombed. 6 explosions later, he jumped through the floor of the throne room and aimed another bob-omb at the furious, deathly confused Bowser.

"You! Free all of your prisoners right now or I blow everyone sky high!" shouted Blah. He had not seen any trace of the first rescue party, so he had to assume the worst - they had joined the existing prisoners.

Bowser was speechless, but another voice did the talking for him. "You've come a long way just to die, nub."

Blah stopped. He had never heard the voice before, and yet he knew exactly whose it was. He turned around - time to face the music.

There they stood, creator and created, staring at each other face-to-face for the first time. Blah felt an intrusion in his very mind, as if Trank's glare burrowed through his own eyes and into his brain. There was a moment of eerie silence... for all except Blah.

/That was a fun show. So much firepower, all to save a few friends you barely know from a fate you were never sure of.\

Blah remained silent. Bowser, Astra and the two Yoshis waited for someone, anyone to make the first move.

/How does it feel to let it all loose? To show the world what you're capable of? But is it enough? Go ahead. Prove to me how strong you are. Prove that you're not a nub.\

Blah's face slowly took on an expression of anger. He brandished one of his three remaining bombs, poising to throw. "Take care of Bowser for me," Blah commanded. "I've got Trank."

**Trank has awoken!**

Blah began by immediately throwing his bomb. Trank merely stood in place, letting the bomb detonate on him. Part of the floor crumbled, but Trank remained fully intact as if nothing had happened. Blah, not very pleased, charged at him with his phaselance. Trank pivoted on some invisible axis and grabbed Blah's lance-wielding hand, wrenching it from his grip while simultaneously taking him down with enough force to further weaken the floor.

While this was happening, Bowser snuck up behind Astra and grabbed her with his claw, her armor thankfully keeping it from piercing her skin. She was immobile, however, and Broshi reacted with a springing kick to Bowser's stomach, causing him to release her.

Violet had retreated to the corner, not wanting any part of this battle, but it wasn't long before what remained of Bowser's army began to file in with the intention of protecting their master. Reflexively, she mopped up the first wave with her tongue, producing several eggs in the process.

Trank, now in possession of the phaselance, held it to Blah's throat as he laid on the floor. His legs outside of Trank's vision, he lifted them up and brought them down on the floor one last time, causing part of it to shatter. Trank seemed only capable of hovering a few feet off of the ground, and so he fell along with Blah. In mid air, Blah reached for his hammer and had it ready just as he reoriented himself and landed on his feet. Trank landed close by, right-side-up as well. The two of them were in a small library/lounge inhabited by Magikoopas on break.

Astra drew her scythe while Broshi continued his onslaught, punching and then headbutting Bowser in his exposed, less protected gut. The Koopa King slid back a foot or so, but quickly recovered and began spewing a steady stream of flame at Broshi and Astra. Broshi attempted to swallow the flame, but it was too much at once and he was forced to dodge. Astra leaped over it altogether and sliced downward at Bowser, who tilted his head to block the scythe with his horn.

The crowd had died down, leaving Violet with several cartons' worth of ammo. She took aim and fired at Bowser from afar, who was too busy dealing with Astra to stop it from hitting his face with an eggshell shrapnel explosion. The beast reeled, and before the other two could take advantage of the opening, he withdrew into his shell and launched himself at all three of them in a way only a Koopa could.

Trank and Blah charged at each other, each with enraged tunnel vision, and began to swing their weapons. Trank kept Blah from getting too close with his lance, and being a much faster weapon than a hammer, he was able to poke around Blah's defenses and put a dent in his armor. This brought the triangle close enough for Blah to retaliate with a downward hammer smash, chipping part of Trank's tip. The surrounding Magikoopas abandoned the room pretty quickly.

Astra and Broshi practically dove out of the way of the giant spiked projectile, but Violet was already backed into a corner. The shell plowed through half of her eggs, and she was forced to jump over it, flailing her limbs frantically to gain more height. Bowser had already come out of the shell and thrusted it upwards, catching her with many of the spikes. Violet flopped to the ground in serious pain.

Broshi was furious. He zoomed forward, bringing one of the unbroken eggs to him with his tongue and immediately throwing it back at Bowser. He deflected it with his arm, but it bought the orange Yoshi enough time to close the gap and give him a rough uppercut to the jaw.

With Trank stunned, Blah twisted his hammer around and slammed him again on the side, just under the arm. The angle sent him to the ground, but he bounced back quickly like a repelling magnet and drove the lance upward towards Blah's head. He leaned back and rammed his knee into Trank's elbow, causing him to drop the lance. Blah snatched it up with his foot as he brought his hammer around again to slam into Trank, but he caught the top of its handle with his other hand, much to Blah's surprise.

Broshi and Bowser began a series of fast-paced close-range exchanges, Broshi weaving dexterously out of Bowser's slashes and ducking back in to deliver a punch or two, and repeating. Bowser, becoming more and more frustrated, lunged forward and attempted a massive bite, to which the Yoshi responded by leaping over him and pounding his entire body onto his head, right between the horns. This sent him onto his stomach, giving Broshi the opportunity to finally go to Violet's side...

Blah caught the lance in his left hand as Trank tossed the hammer behind himself, which slid under a bookshelf and lodged itself there. Switching hands and retrieving his shield, Blah charged at Trank, aiming right for his center. But Trank was just too fast, dodging around the lance on the opposite side of the shield. He leaned forward, his tip now facing Blah, and in the course of a second, he began to spin like a large drill, driving himself right into Blah's ill-protected right side. By the time he was able to slap Trank away with the broad side of his lance, his armor had cracked nearly in half.

The purple Yoshi had received several deep puncture wounds all over her body. She gazed up at Broshi with longing eyes, begging for him to do something. She was losing blood, and fast - and with Blah preoccupied, she didn't have much time. Broshi didn't waste any of it as he tore down one of the egotistical tapestries hung about the room and wrapped it tightly around her, putting much needed pressure on the wounds. It was by no means a permanent solution, but it would grant her additional time. Broshi removed his shades for a moment. Hang in there, his determined ogle conveyed. I'm not giving up on you.

/You're going to have to do better than that, nub. One of your friends is dying already.\

The words echoed through Blah's head in Trank's devilish voice as he concentrated on regaining himself from the force of the drilling. "You don't even know the half of my full potential," panted Blah, stalling while he reached for his backpack, hoping to find SOMETHING he could use to change the game... and the first thing he felt was the musket that he had procured from breaking the shadow orb on Angel Island.

/Then what are you waiting for? Rise up. Unleash your power, and destroy. That is, if you can. Nub.\

Blah took on a new look, one that rivaled Trank in terms of pure spite. He began to produce an aura, this time one of a deep navy hue. He pulled out the musket. "You know," he surged, aiming the firearm, "that 'nub' thing is getting waaay old. Fist of the Milky Way..." The aura intensified as Blah pulled the trigger. "Photon Flurry!" The aura spread quickly to the musket, which began to fire musket balls with the force of a rifle, and the rate of a machine gun. The constant barrage of bullets constrained Trank back against the wall and put several dents in his exoskeleton. Trank was helplessly pinned, and the bullet rain kept pelting, weakening his armor further.

He began to rush forward, still firing like mad, now with one hand as he grabbed his lance with the other. Just as he ran out of bullets, and before Trank could peel himself from the wall, he loaded his phaselance into the musket and launched it like a rocket. The lance penetrated through Trank, but only a few inches, pinning him once again, and by that time Blah was within range to pound the lance further through with the stock of the musket.

Blah removed the lance, and through the large hole in Trank's hide escaped a thin gas. The lightness that privileged Trank to hover in midair left him, and he crashed to the ground with a clank, rendering him immobile. The hole was just big enough for Blah to stuff a lit bomb into, which he accomplished with a triumphant chortle. "Who's the nub now?" Blah taunted, wasting no time in leaping onto a nearby bookshelf and up through the opening between floors just as he heard the satisfying KABOOM.

**Trank has been defeated!**

A deeply disturbing sight met Blah's eyes as he emerged. Violet was bound in a bloodstained tapestry as her orange counterpart did everything he could to keep her alive. Behind them, Astra and Bowser were once again locked in close combat, both of them expending their energy meeting each other's strikes. It looked like either one could fall over at any time.

He reached into his pack, digging into the bottom for a bottle of Applejack's cider. He saw Violet turn her head towards Broshi slowly, knowing that she could still be saved, but this window of hope was closing fast. He picked up his feet and rushed over towards the Yoshis... I'm going to make it... thought Blah, his heart pounding faster than he had previously thought possible...

Suddenly, a beam from the side hit Blah in the hand, causing him to lose his grip in the potion in pain. The bottle shattered on the floor, the cider pooling uselessly out. Blah nearly slipped on it, but caught himself and turned his head towards the source of the shot. In the doorway stood a Magikoopa, cackling madly.

"Well it's about TIME you showed up, Kammy!" yelled Bowser as he backpedaled away from a swing of Astra's scythe.

"Sorry, Your Vileness!" Kammy Koopa apologized. "We've never had so many prisoners at once, those misfits are hard to deal with..."

During the banter, Blah frantically reached for another potion - however, Kammy caught on quickly, this time shooting the pack straight off of his back, tearing it by the straps and thrusting it against the far wall. "Next one's going straight for your ugly head!" she threatened.

Blah desperately examined his options. All he had on him was an empty musket and his phaselance; everything else was in his pack which was now halfway across the room. If he attempted to retrieve a potion, he'd be under constant assault from Kammy without any way to counter her. He hesitated, perhaps for a bit too long.

Kammy's work was not yet done, however. With a cackle, she teleported directly behind Astra and conjured a large, yellow block above her. She had barely enough time to react and she rolled out of the way, the block pounded into the floor behind her. Bowser jumped back as well, taking a moment to catch his breath for once. There was a moment of pause.

Neither of the villains paid any attention to Broshi, however, assuming that he was preoccupied with keeping Violet as stable as possible. He took the opportunity to lash out his tongue at Blah's broken pack, barely reaching it and bringing it closer. He dove his arm into the opening, shoulder-deep, and grabbed one of the last intact bottles of cider. Before Kammy or Bowser realized what was happening, he had already uncapped it and fed it to Violet.

Violet coughed. The bleeding slowed, and Broshi carefully unwound the tapestry, revealing that most of the wounds were starting to close up. She had taken the potion at the very last possible moment; it was enough to save her, but not nearly enough to put her back into fighting condition. Nevertheless, the two gazed into each other's eyes, their connection now stronger than ever. Even Bowser felt a little relieved at the sight.

The only thought going through Blah's mind at that moment: Do Yoshis kiss?

His question was answered. Not even caring about their witnesses and surroundings, for the moment was just too right, the two leaned towards each other and shared a passionate embrace, one of contentment and extrication. Not one of the onlookers could pry their eyes from the scene, or bring themselves to interrupt it in any way.

"This is stupid," Kammy exclaimed, quickly becoming an exception and casting a spell at Violet. In her place was a large, magenta-hued metal block.

...

The air stood still, and what seemed like a whole minute passed, no one moving an inch.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Blah shouted, breaking the silence. Everyone stared at the Magikoopa.

"It was gross, and way out of place," she stated nonchalantly, her arms folded. "I put an end to it."

"You're just jealous because you're old, ugly, and alone." Blah's tone had escalated to that of serious rage.

His words cranked up Kammy's temper as well. "N-no way! I'm not ugly! I'm BEAUTIFUL! I'LL show YOU ugly!" The exchange was something reminiscent of a couple of rowdy kindergarteners at recess. Kammy lifted her wand and aimed at Blah, charging up another spell.

The human prepared to dodge, and the blue aura returned to him - but there was no need. A spinning egg shattered on the witch's hand, causing her to lose her grip on the wand.

Broshi stood tossing another egg up and down in his hand, staring Kammy down with a burning intensity equivalent to the sun. He was dead silent, as his blazing glare said all that was needed, enough to steal the words from his objective as well.

Kammy began to regret everything.

Yep.