Chapter 39: The Speed of Light
"All right," Hailstorm began, "As long as everyone's here, and we have some time to kill, let's get a few things straight."
The party, its size now swollen to 10 members, were all seated in the cargo hold of the Egg-Desperado, which Eggman had had the foresight to allow transformation into a sort of jet plane. For quick escapes, most likely. Eggman himself was of course in the pilot's seat, communicating to the others through a PA system that he had included at the last minute.
"Ok, so I think this might be the first question on everyone's mind: Light Star," the dark stallion snapped to attention as Hailstorm addressed him, "How did you do that black hole thing?"
"I still don't know what you're talking about," Light denied. "When the Daleks attacked, I thought all hope was lost, so I... hid in a dumpster."
"That would explain the smell," Rarity remarked.
"I only came out when I heard that they were retreating," Light continued.
"But... that can't be right," Hail asserted. "You winked at me and everything."
"Maybe it was a different pony?" Spike suggested with a shrug.
"Oh, that was Lightsy all right," Pinkie affirmed. "I know my colt when I see him!" She gave Light an affectionate glance, which caused him to blush slightly.
"You don't think..." Twilight began to think back to earlier conversations. "...time travel was involved?"
"I didn't think Hajike was powerful enough to travel through time..." Light stated.
"Maybe it isn't," Twilight pondered. "It's very possible you could have come up with another way to do it. Perhaps even because we're having this conversation in the first place. Time is weird that way."
One thing came instantly to Hail's mind. "The TARDIS? I guess if he found it in the future, he could have traveled back to now knowing that he was supposed to save us..."
"So why doesn't he use it to travel through time, gather all of the guys who were scattered across it and save us all the trouble?" Twilight asked. "No, there's something bigger going on here... and I have the feeling Eggman doesn't know about it either."
"I'd just like to point out that this is all very confusing," Eggman's voice echoed throughout the plane. "And unnecessary. It doesn't matter HOW he saved us, just that he did. And we should be... thankful," he grudgingly added.
"What I want to know is," Applejack cut in, "how in tarnation does Eggman already know where Astra is? We never told him. It's mighty suspicious if you ask me."
"It's a long story," Eggman dismissed.
"How much time do we have?" Hail reminded him.
Eggman sighed. "There's a tracking device on her suit, okay? I can track where she is at any given moment."
"That wasn't a very long story..." Fluttershy noted.
"Yeah, if you always know where she is, and she's always stealing machinery from you, you could just track her down and capture her any time you feel like." Hail recalled the moment when they first encountered Astra in Metropolis. It had been heavily implied that Eggman had no way of chasing her. "What are you not telling us?"
There was no response. Hail banged his head on the wall in frustration.
"Well, if you won't tell us that," Twilight changed the subject, "will you at least give us the information you promised?"
The PA clicked on again almost immediately, followed by a few seconds of silence before Eggman spoke. "Right, right, yes. The Universe Jewels, or whatever you call them. I've been tracking their locations ever since I heard about them... but not too long ago, one of them disappeared off of my radar! And rather recently, a second!"
"Jewels are disappearing?!" Twilight gasped. "Are they being destroyed?"
"I can confirm that they still exist," Eggman continued. "Because I was locked onto their wavelengths, I was able to figure out where they went. They were relocated to another dimension."
"Wait... didn't I hear that the jewels were bound to their own universes or something?" Hail recalled.
"Indeed," Eggman affirmed, "and because of this, the jewels took their portion of the multiverse with them. Two entire regions are now filled with huge chasms in space. We just can't see them because what was left of this universe attempted to repair itself, folding the remaining points together. From our perspective, what was bordering those regions on opposite sides are now directly linked, meaning you could travel across the fold and not even notice."
"That's the game's doing, isn't it!" Hail realized. "Two players have entered so far, and I guess instead of just their houses that went with them, it took their eighth of the universe?"
"So, problem solved!" Rainbow Dash attempted to understand. "The universes are separated as they should have been, nothing else needed!"
"Not quite," Eggman debunked. "The universes were left to mingle with each other too long, so each jewel brought artifacts from whatever other universes interacted with its space. The corruption in the Everfree Forest, for example, will get abducted with everything else in the pony universe when that jewel's time comes. Breaking the jewels is still needed to sort everything out again for good, but this makes it far easier to reach them."
"So the existing universes and all of their residents don't get decimated by meteors!" Twilight exclaimed. "That's great news!"
"Sounds good to me," Hail approved. "All that's left is to make sure everyone gets into the game properly."
"Ooh, I think we're here!" Pinkie shouted excitedly, spying Veggie Vegas out of the window, as well as Wario's car, where the obese human snoozed blissfully.
"Ack... Oof. What the heck. Are you SITTING on me?!"
Mefirst was perched on top of Astra as she was sleeping, sitting cross-legged and reading a newspaper to pass the time.
"Maybe," he said casually, flipping a page.
"Listen, there's a way to revive Beats," Astra cut to the chase, "but we have to hurry."
"I told you already. He's dead, Jim." Mefirst turned another page.
"Ugh." She knew not to bother with questioning why he claimed to want the game to go on as normal, but wouldn't give one of its players a chance to come back to life and play it. If she had a penny for every time she was lied to... Instead, she decided to ask something else. "What are you waiting for, anyway?"
"My boss. When he gets here, he'll sort everything out. And then you can go." Pageflip.
Unsatisfied, Astra decided to check her person for the tool that the strange voice gave her on Derse. It took a bit of squirming, which did not faze Mefirst, but she found it. She wasn't sure whether to be surprised or relieved. She didn't dare take it out yet though. As much as she hated it, she had to wait along with Mefirst.
And wait they did for a few minutes, which seemed like hours to Astra. There was no telling how Mefirst felt.
It was then that they heard the jet engine approaching. Mefirst perked up. "I think we've got company," he stated, starting to get up. "Be a good girl and stay put."
"You're putting a lot of trust in me all of a sudden," Astra chided. The noise grew closer.
"Quiet doggy," Mefirst replied. He walked to the door as he put his sunglasses back on, just in time to see Eggman's Desperado take a landing.
Eight colorful ponies, a baby dragon, and a stocky bald man piled out of it. "I've heard of clown cars, but clown PLANES?" greeted the mailman.
"Look who's talking," Dr. Eggman fired back. "You look like you just escaped from the circus yourself... to open up a chain of fast-food restaurants!"
"You must be glad I did, 'cause your belly is sure showing it." Mefirst volleyed, crossing his arms and wearing a smug grin. "I'll supersize you any day of the week. You can even have the senior discount." Eggman was positively fuming at that one. "What's the matter? Not loving it? Put a smile on, Big Mac!"
Eggman already had a ray gun pointed at him, to the chagrin of Twilight. "Oh, you think you're real funny, don't you," he snarled. "Think again, joker. You're vastly outnumbered. If I were you I would just surrender."
"You would surrender at a time like this," Mefirst jaunted, showing no signs of fear. "Besides, you're too late. Even if you kill me, you can't change anything."
"Yes we can," Astra announced, bursting out of the club.
"I knew I should've put you on a leash," Mefirst joked.
Hailstorm lit up upon seeing Astra was ok. "Astra! Glad to see you're alive."
"The feeling is mutual. What is Eggman doing here?"
"Long story short, he works for us now," Twilight explained, causing Eggman to grumble.
"I'll take your word for it." While Mefirst was pinned by Eggman's gun, Astra walked up to the snowy pegasus. She presented him the Sonic Screwdriver. "I was told by the self-proclaimed 'best pony' to give you this."
"Wait, HOW did you get that?" Mefirst blurted out, but nobody paid any attention.
Hail took the device and looked it over. "Isn't this that tool that Blah picked up after defeating the Wall of Flesh...?"
"I wouldn't know, I wasn't there. Whoever it was said that you'd know what to do with it."
"I have no idea how this thing works," Hail admitted. "And who gave it to you again?"
"I only heard his voice. All I know about him is that he's male, and apparently a pony."
"Maybe it was me from the future again," Light Star suggested, approaching the two. "Did he sound anything like me?"
Astra shook her head. "No. Completely different voice, and nobody I've heard before either. Also, I don't believe we've met."
"...really? I could've sworn..." Light looked off into the distance, searching his memory. 'Just a deja vu I guess,' he thought. "Eh, no matter. I'm Light Star." He held out a foreleg.
"I dunno if now's a good time for introductions," Rainbow commented.
Ignoring her, Astra shook Light's hoof. "Astra," she replied.
As he looked into the girl's eyes and held her hand, Light felt an eerie sensation - like a part of his mind was desperately trying to bring to the surface a distant memory, but something was in the way. A few fragments slipped through. He had seen her before... talked to her, even... he was sure of it, but he couldn't quite place where or when.
"You've been holding his hoof an awful long time, missy," Pinkie Pie warned.
She let him go. "What, it's only been a few seconds..." Astra defended, but she could not deny in her mind that she felt something odd as well.
Light began to feel a little dizzy. He looked over at Hailstorm, who still held the Sonic Screwdriver. "C-can I see that...?"
"You ok, Light?" Hail asked as he approached the woozy stallion with concern.
Light did not answer, instead snatching the screwdriver from Hail's hoof and staring at it. Hail bemusedly stepped away, unsure what was going on but deciding to give some space. Light's head throbbed. He'd seen this device before, as well. It was as if a fog was slowly lifting.
Mefirst began to creep closer to Eggman, whose head was turned towards the pony in an attempt to figure out his problem.
"A Sonic Screwdriver..." identified Light.
"Yeah, that's what he called it..." Hail affirmed. "How do you know what it is...?"
Once again ignoring Hail, he turned to Astra. "Who did you say gave this to you again?"
"Some disembodied voice belonging to the 'best pony'?" she repeated.
A name immediately sprang to Light's mind. "Discord?" he guessed, hardly realizing that he had said it.
"Discord?!" the six mares shouted reactively, nearly in unison. Twilight began to stammer. "How did... how would... why... what..."
Slam! Mefirst had managed to topple Dr. Eggman and snatch his gun in one maneuver. "Ha! Who's the joker now?" he taunted. "Nobody move or the doctor gets it!"
Almost immediately, a light buzzing noise echoed. The gun in Mefirst's hands sparked and fell apart. Everyone turned to stare at Light, holding the Sonic Screwdriver in his direction.
"He's not the Doctor..." Light replied, keeping the screwdriver pointed at the mailman. "...but neither am I. In fact, what the heck did I just do?!" He dropped the device in shock. The past 10 seconds, it was as if something else took over his body for a moment. Some kind of instinct.
Mefirst began to look worried, and not just because his only means of defense had just been disabled. "Impossible... He can't be... Not already..."
All that anyone could bring themselves to do was watch at this point. Following some deep subconscious instinct, Light turned his head, catching a glimpse of his cutie mark. A galaxy. Space.
He recognized the symbol. A phrase reverberated through his mind. "Knight of Space..."
The barrier shattered. A torrent of memories and emotions flooded into his head. A grassy field, the Corruption, Ponyville, Sinnoh, the Everfree Forest, Metropolis, Angel Island, meteors, Bowser's Castle, the Underworld, Moros... Charge.
The stallion panted, his heart rate hastened to an extreme level, now on the decline. "Charge..."
"Wh... what?" voiced Hail.
"That fiend... that clever, clever fiend... Hahahahaha..." He laughed a very toxic, almost masochistic laugh.
"Lightsy...?" Pinkie uttered. "This isn't very funny..."
He lifted his head, directing a piercing gaze at Mefirst. The mailman flinched. "And you knew," he reproached, stepping closer. He was not deliberately intimidating Mefirst, but Mefirst was definitely intimidated. "That boss of yours, he thought he could keep me down... by ponifying me?" He laughed again. "Sending me back in time as a baby foal with all of my memory wiped? Making me live 20 years' worth of an entirely new life?" He could still hardly believe it himself, and the thought both amused him and agitated him beyond all logic. "Clever... oh so very clever... but next time you see him, tell him that he has made a powerful enemy."
"Why don't you tell him yourself?"
Everyone turned to see Charge himself, in the flesh, walking down the road with his battleaxe over his shoulder.
"Yeah I figured it was only a matter of time before you found out," he admitted, plopping his axe down and leaning on the handle. "I thought I'd have more time though. I can't deny it, you're not so dull yourself, Blahsadfeguie."
By this point, there was nobody present besides Mefirst, Charge, and Blah who didn't have their jaws on the ground. Especially Pinkie Pie.
"WE KISSED!" the pink pony exploded.
Blah froze, having nearly forgotten the life he had just led. "Pinkie..." he started, turning towards her.
"BUT IT WAS YOU! THE WHOLE TIME!" What was perhaps more shocking to the others than what they had just witnessed was the unnatural rush of rage and disbelief that was bursting from their normally cheerful and perpetually optimistic friend. "I knew something wasn't right but I hadn't had these feelings before so I didn't care and I ignored it and we spent time together and I LIKED IT but it was a LIE! IT WAS ALL A LIE." Bawling loudly, Pinkie rushed into the building and slammed the doors behind her.
Blah was wracked with guilt and regret. He began to go after her, but Applejack blocked his way. "I think she needs some time alone, partner."
"What, it wasn't my fault!" Blah attested. "I didn't even know it was me!"
"She's still having trouble believing that," Twilight intervened. "Applejack's right, she needs time to herself."
"I'm not so sure, dears," Rarity spoke up. "I certainly wouldn't want to be left alone after a revelation like that. I'll go talk to her." Rarity started for the building.
"A-and me, too," Fluttershy whispered, following Rarity. "I-if that's ok with you..."
"Hmm..." Twilight sighed. "Well... I guess if anyone can handle it, it's the Elements of Kindness and Generosity. You'll have your turn soon enough, Blah..." She put a hoof on his shoulder. "You're not the one to blame, don't worry."
"I know who THAT would be..." Blah aimed his death glare at Charge. "This never would've happened if you didn't turn me into a pony."
Charge shrugged. "I didn't make you fall in love with Pinkie. Or the other way around. I'm not the cause of all this drama."
"Well? The least you could do is change me back!" Blah stamped his hoof.
"I'm afraid that's not my department," Charge shrugged again. "Now, are we done?"
"Uh... I guess now's not a good time, then?"
Everyone followed the source of the deep voice to see Bo-bobo, Don Patch, and Jelly Jiggler all dressed in black funeral dresses and heavy make-up, carrying a coffin. Beauty took up the rear, in her normal attire, her palm glued to her face.
"Let me guess..." Astra glanced at the coffin, and then at Beauty. "Beats?" She nodded, her hand unmoving.
"Beats!" Blah exclaimed. "That's who DJ was. Of course, that makes sense... and Mefirst, too..."
Astra looked at Blah. "I was told you'd know what to do?"
"Er..." He picked up the Sonic Screwdriver. "This does a lot of things... but bringing people to life isn't one of them..."
"Exactly," Charge said, stepping forward. "So step aside and let me enter the game already. You said that the eight players were all your characters, and I'm your character too. If anyone can save the day, it's me."
Blah wasn't about to give up that easily, however. The cogs started to spin in his head, for the first time in years. "Wait! Duh! Astra, you can kiss Beats!"
"Seriously?" Astra wished she had a nearby wall to bang her head against. "Why does everyone think that's a good idea...?"
"It works though," promised Blah. "I'm dead serious. When SBURB is involved, you have a second-"
"I know," Astra cut him off.
"I don't..." muttered a disappointed Hail.
"...Oh, Discord told you already?" Blah asked.
"What makes you so sure it was Discord?" Twilight demanded. "He's still frozen in stone. He can't do anything."
"In this continuity," Mefirst chimed in. "His release and subsequent rehabilitation didn't happen yet."
"...what are you talking about?! And who are you talking to?" Twilight raised an eyebrow at Mefirst, who was facing the opposite direction.
"I'm not breaking the fourth wall, I swear!" denied Mefirst as he turned around.
"Ahem," Blah got everyone's attention. "I know it's Discord because Discord is best pony. Obviously. And he knew that I would say him if someone asked me who the best pony was."
There was silence. "Ok, well, I guess now I'm the best pony."