Chapter 41: To Calmer Waters

"So... Beats, is it?"

"That's me, coolest vegan DJ this side of the Milky Way!"

"You're a vegetable."

With the threats gone and the game plan back on the right track, everyone was free to explore their curiosities and questions once again - and Applejack was the first, questioning why a 3-foot beet with a face was standing there talking to her. In fact, she was pretty sure a beet consisted part of her dinner the other night. It was the same sort of feeling as if a fully cooked, and stuffed turkey started a conversation with a human the day after Thanksgiving.

"Hey, you're a pony," Beats responded with his arms out in a wide shrug. "And that's all right with Beats, yo!"

"In all fairness," Blah said to Applejack, "He's used to really weird things happening all the time. He's basically in the same category as Bo-bobo."

"At this rate, I'll believe just about anything," Twilight chimed in. "Although the fact that you were helped by Discord is still a hard sell for me."

"Yeah, he's still just a statue!" Rainbow Dash continued. "The only way he could get free is with the Elements of Harmony..."

Blah thought for a moment. "Time travel?" he guessed. It was the answer to a lot of questions lately.

"I KNOW Celestia wouldn't let that happen," Twilight immediately refuted. "Discord is the embodiment of chaos. Giving him the ability to travel through time is just begging for trouble."

"He did seem pretty thrilled about the idea of causing a paradox," Astra recalled. "However, he said that he wasn't actually there, just that he was talking to us through a 'proxy'."

"When did you say this happened again?" Blah asked.

"Mefirst had knocked me unconscious. I woke up on Derse, met Beats's dream self, and he spoke to us shortly after."

Blah began to pace back and forth. Derse... it may have been 20 years, but he remembered everything he knew about Homestuck as clearly as if it were yesterday. The purple moon directly bordered the Furthest Ring, a sort of void between universes without consistent linear flow of time and space, occupied by hyperdimensional eldritch abominations known as Horrorterrors. Was it possible Discord enlisted their assistance? Or was it enough for him to simply be there at some point and abuse its nonexistent timeline? That might count as time travel, he thought, a kind that not even Celestia could prevent.

"Hmm." Blah stopped. "I think I might know what happened... but it's complicated and would require a lot of explanation. Long story short, he probably did time travel, or at least find SOME way to influence our past from his future... which means that we have to release him."

There was a collective gasp from the other ponies, which Blah completely anticipated. "Now I know what you're thinking," he quickly continued, "but if we don't set him free, he won't be able to send that message through time. It would cause a paradox."

"So it's either set Discord free, or suffer the consequences of a time paradox." Twilight grimaced. "We fell right into his trap."

"All devils have their ways of making you seal the deal," Beats added.

"But he did make me remember who I was," Blah argued, "which ultimately allowed us to revive Beats and keep Charge out of the Medium. I'd say it's a win-draw situation."

"There is NO WAY we are going to free Discord!" Rainbow protested. "You remember what happened the last time! His work is already done, we don't have to do jack squat."

Blah sighed. "Believe me, if I had any say in it, I would agree with you. But if we don't create a stable time loop, we may end up branching our timeline off of the alpha, dooming us all."

"He has a point," Astra backed him up.

"Well I may not get all this fancy time gibberish, but they're the experts, and I trust 'em," Applejack put in her two bits. "We just need to convince the others, once they're ready..."

She and everyone else glanced in the direction of the club, outside of which stood Fluttershy, who had been patiently waiting for an opening, unnoticed for an ambiguous amount of time. As silence had fallen, she walked forward and cleared her throat softly. "Uh... Blahsadfeguie, sir, Pinkie Pie wants to talk to you in private..."

Blah felt a knot in his throat. He had been waiting for this moment, but pushing his worries to the back of his mind only made them stand out more when the time came. "Alrighty then..." he responded with a gulp as he shakily approached the double doors. Fluttershy ducked back inside for a moment, and left again with Rarity following. Blah took a deep breath and disappeared inside.

Beats scratched his head. "So what's the scoop here?"

"It's a LONG story," Hailstorm replied.

Blah silently walked into the room. Several boxes and envelopes, the aftermath of Astra's battle with Mefirst, had been swept off of the dance floor and organized into a neat little pile in one corner. But in the other corner stood the reason he was in here, her head bowed in anticipation.

"Pinkie...?" Blah inquired, approaching cautiously.

"Blah." She did not turn around. She barely even moved. "It was you." The emotion seemed to be completely drained from her voice.

The former human began to wonder if the talk that she had supposedly been having with Rarity and Fluttershy during his entire battle with Charge changed anything at all. Thinking carefully of how to respond, he inhaled. "Look, I-"

"It was you," she interrupted. "I fell in love with a guy who worked so hard to find his way in an unfamiliar, unforgiving world, who just wouldn't give up no matter what went wrong or who looked down on him, because he knew deep down that if he kept trying, he would eventually succeed. He was smart, fun, and talented in so many ways not even he could understand. And he always stood by, and stood up for, his friends. The only thing that kept me from telling him how I felt..." Pinkie turned, gazing at Blah with shimmering eyes. "...was that he was a human."

Blah's eyes widened as his mouth curved into a slight smile. "It WAS me... The whole time..."

Pinkie nodded. "I just couldn't work up the nerves to talk to you because, well... that would just be weird..."

"Heh..." Blah shuffled, knowing exactly how she felt. That would have been just about the most awkward thing possible.

"But... I understand that you're different now. I know that Light Star felt the same way I did but he turned out to not be who he really was and-"

"Pinkie." It was Blah's turn to interrupt. "I may not have known who I really was, but that didn't stop me from being myself. Light was just me with amnesia; we are the same person in every other way." Blah grinned. "Everything I said the day I got my cutie mark still stands. You're the only one for me, Pinkie Pie. It just took me 20 years and a full-body transformation to realize that."

A wobbly smile stretched across her face as tears started to fall. "Oh, you'll always be my Lightsy!" she cried as she tackled him, unsuspecting, to the ground.

"Ok... that..." he stuttered. "That... I can live with. Until... I suffocate, that is."

"Whoop, sorry!" She bounced off of him and continued bouncing as he picked himself up.

"Hmm, now that I think about it..." Blah brushed himself off. "I just realized... I talked to myself at one point. We did occupy the same time period." He thought back to that moment, a few weeks ago from one perspective and several years from another. A little more thought brought him to another conclusion. "You knew the Light me long before you even met the Blah me... and you crushed on both..."

Pinkie giggled, obviously feeling much better. "So? You turned out to be the same person in the end! Maybe I secretly knew that all along! My Pinkie sense never fails, after all!"

Blah put on a playfully skeptical smirk. "What's the sign for 'both of the guys I love are actually the same person', out of curiosity?"

She put a hoof around his shoulder, leaning in closer. "My heart skips a beat, there are butterflies in my stomach, and my breath gets all heavy."

"Really? What a coincidence!" Blah mirrored Pinkie's gesture. "Me too."

Pinkie suddenly recoiled in confusion. "Wait, you also love two guys who are actually the same person?"

"Pfft. Ahahaha." Blah burst into laughter. "Of course not, I was just trying to be romantic! Jeez!"

"Well then kiss me already, you dummy!" She pulled him abruptly closer, their harmonious laughter ceasing at the touch of their lips.

Sniff sniff. "What's that smell?" asked a curious Don Patch, crammed into the front seat of the Miracle Machine with the other Hajikelists and Beauty.

"Why, I think it's cheese," Jelly Jiggler responded, taking a whiff for himself.

"You're right!" agreed Bo-bobo. "Something smells unnecessarily cheesy! I think it's coming from where we just left!"

"What are you talking about?" Beauty asked, pointing her nose out the window. "I don't smell anything..."

Bo-bobo patted her on the head. "You'll understand when you're older, dear."

"Hey! Eyes on the road, idiot!" Don Patch snatched the wheel from in front of him. The vehicle started to swerve.

"Remember to put your hands at 10 and 2," Jelly Jiggler helpfully advised. The steering wheel was an actual clock.

"You guys are hopeless..." lamented Beauty as the three began to argue about what time it was.

"...and so Blah got his memory back, we defeated Mefirst and Charge fled, so here we are," Hailstorm finished getting Beats up to speed.

"Sounds like quite the quest," Beats commented. "Maybe you should get some rest?"

"Believe me, we'd love to," Hail sighed. "But the longer we wait, the more meteors will fall... so we have to get everyone into the game as quickly as possible." He looked back at the Egg-Desperado, which Twilight Sparkle, Astra, and a reawakened Dr. Eggman worked to repair. "How's the repair coming, guys?"

Eggman sat back, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Not so good," he replied. "That axe cut through my mech like a plasma-edged knife through iron. We'll need a blowtorch and some spare parts at the very least."

"Well there goes our transportation..." muttered Hail, his gaze wandering... until it landed on Wario's car, where the stout man still slept. "Wait... has he been sleeping over there this WHOLE TIME?"

Astra looked up from tightening a bolt. "Oh. So he has."

"I hope y'all know we can't ALL fit in that," Applejack stated.

"The jet is still our best option," Rarity held firm. "I'd rather ride first class than in some dinky old wagon anyway."

"h-HEY!" Wario snapped awake at the mention of his ride. He hopped out of it and stomped up to the unicorn. "Who do you think-a you are to be talking-a like that?"

"Oh, dear." Rarity turned away at the sight - and smell - of him up close. "Would you mind stepping back a tad... and perhaps eating a breath mint...?"

This only served to anger Wario further, but before he could say or do anything in response, Astra tapped him on the shoulder. Wario craned his head and was met with the sight of several gleaming gold coins. "Here's your fare," she assertively announced. "We won't be needing your services any more."

Wario took the gold and inspected it. Everything seemed to check out. "You lucked out this time, horse," he snapped to Rarity before stomping back into his vehicle and starting the engine. "But don't-a get comfortable, 'cause Wario never forgets!" He drove off in a huff.

"Well, I never."

"Ok, so we got rid of him," said Hail, "but how will we get home now?"

"I think I know a superheating spell," Twilight suggested, putting her armor back on. "I could probably maintain it for a long time with this. Will that help?"

"If you can weld metal with that magic horn of yours, then why not. Go nuts." Eggman crossed his arms grumpily. "We still need replacement parts."

Beats stood up. "Beats thinks he can rustle up some junk. He's got all kinds of old musical memories, but if it means getting our groove back, then he's cool with it." He strolled over towards the club, stopping to listen and make sure Blah and Pinkie were finished with their talk. All he could hear was giggling. "Uh..."

"What's going on?" Hail followed him up to the front doors, and heard the same thing. Laughter.

Cautiously, Beats approached the doors, but before he could push them open, there was an explosion. The doors slammed open, sending Beats flying a good ten feet, and leaving Hailstorm to take the brunt of the fallout - a gigantic mass of tan and yellow colors engulfing him and spreading out in front of the building. It smelled rather delicious.

Everyone dropped what they were doing and ran up to the goop, unsure whether they should try and brave the mess. Before anyone could come to a decision, a pony-shaped glob leaped out of it and onto uncovered ground. It shook itself off to reveal hints of pink underneath.

"We found the kitchen!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Heehee!"

A hoof emerged from the stuff, followed by a gasping Blah's head. "I think I added too much yeast... heh..." He chortled, rolling out of the path of destruction and laying to rest.

Finally, a third figure crawled out form underneath the culinary catastrophe, coughing and sputtering with his wings spread. "Bleargh. Why. Why me."

Beats stood up again, analyzing the carnage. "Heh. I've seen parties crazier than this. Left bigger messes, too."

Pinkie thoroughly cleaned her lips with her tongue. "Tell me about it! Oh, you would not BELIEVE what happened at Fluttershy's last birthday party! It was off da HOOK!"

Fluttershy blinked, her cheeks displaying a highly-visible shade of red. "I th-thought we agreed n-n-never to bring th-that up again..."

"No worries, what happens in Partytown stays in Partytown," Beats assured. He turned to Rainbow Dash. "Yo, Rainbow Rave! Do me a solid and lift me up to the top window!"

The multicolored pegasus chuckled at the nickname as she let Beats climb on. "Heh. Sure thing, veggie guy!" She hovered in front of the window as he opened and climbed through it.

"I'm surprised he didn't blow his top seeing what we did to his club..." Blah admitted, trying to rub some of the pastry mix off of him.

"What can I say," Astra answered for her friend, "he's as optimistic as they come."

A few hours of solid teamwork and catching up later, the Egg-Desperado was looking good as new, save for a few dents and dings. Once Eggman gave the go-ahead, the entire party boarded the vessel as they made their way for the next destination - Canterlot. The site where Discord was presumably being held in statue form in the middle of a sculpture garden. If their predictions were correct, he should be there waiting for the group to free him and stabilize the time loop. Not everyone fully understood it, but by this point, there was more than enough trust to go around.

"...but what about the Princess?" asked Twilight. "She might not be as easy to convince as everyone here. This is still Discord we're talking about."

"Eh, I'm sure she'll understand," shrugged Blah. "We haven't met, but... I've done nothing but good since I arrived here. I'm probably near the top of her favorites list already."

"Need I remind you of the greeting we received in Ponyville, after Twilight was kidnapped?" Astra contributed.

Blah thought for a moment. It had been two decades ago from his perspective, after all. "The guards... didn't seem too fond of us. That is true." He lightened up. "But then I went on to save EVERYBODY. Surely Celestia would recognize such a heroic act."

There was a sudden jerk in the motion of the plane, causing everyone to shift inside, and many of them to rather angrily express their discomfort.

The PA turned on, and Eggman's panicked voice rang out. "Er, pardon the sudden jolt... but there appears to be something around the city keeping us out. I had to make an improvised change of course."

Everyone rushed to the window. They had arrived at Canterlot, only to find a magical pink force field covering the entire city.

Twilight recognized it immediately. "That magic barrier is put up around the city only as a last resort to ward off immense threats and natural disasters..."

"Like a meteor shower?" suggested Hailstorm.

Twilight nodded. "Exactly like a meteor shower."

"Let's hope meteors are the only thing they're trying to keep out..." squeaked the paranoid Fluttershy.

"If only we had a way to communicate directly with the Princess and find out," lamented Blah as he squinted out of the window.

"Ahem." Spike stood up, gesturing at himself.

Blah turned around. "Oh yeeeah. Twilight, considering you're still definitely on good terms with Celestia, would you do the honors?"

Twilight frowned. "'Dear Princess Celestia,'" recited Twilight sarcastically, "'could you let us in for a moment so we can free Discord?' Yeah, that'll go over well."

"No need to mention Discord just yet," Blah decided. "Just ask what's the deal with the force field, and make sure we're still clear for entry."

"Considering what we're here to do," Rarity cut in politely, "I doubt Princess Celestia would appreciate not knowing until it's too late."

"So just ask about the barrier, and see what her response is before talking about coming in?" Blah shrugged. "Better to play it safe, I guess."

Twilight hesitated for a moment, ending with a sigh. "All right. It's worth a try. Spike, take a letter." Spike produced a quill and parchment from seemingly nowhere. Blah was somewhat impressed at how prepared the little dragon was, even after being fake-napped. Twilight cleared her throat, thinking carefully about how to word the letter. "'Dear Princess Celestia, I am aware the recent meteor shower has only gotten worse since it began; however, I wasn't aware that it was dangerous enough to warrant such a great expenditure of energy to protect Canterlot. So, I must ask one humble question out of mild concern: is the barrier in place just to hold back meteors, or is there an even greater threat on the horizon? Your swift response would be much appreciated. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.'"

She stopped, and there was silence as she played back the query in her head. Nervously, she asked Spike, "Would you read that back to me, please?"

As Spike opened his mouth, Blah interrupted with an anxious "Just send it already. Time is kind of at a premium by this point."

Twilight reluctantly nodded, and Spike took a deep breath, engulfing the letter in green flames and sending it off. Everyone sat on pins and needles as they waited for a reply.

"Gas doesn't grow on trees you know," Dr. Eggman finally said, causing everyone to jump. "I have to land this thing eventually."

"Go ahead," Blah permitted as the rest of the passengers calmed down.

The plane cruised into a landing on the road just outside of the city, as there was little other flat terrain for a suitable landing. Everyone hopped off, allowing Eggman to transform the Desperado back into its mech form and remove it from the path, setting it down in the grass.

Just as everyone was about to settle down again, the sound of Spike belching brought everyone to their feet. A rolled-up letter materialized in a puff of smoke, which the dragon quickly caught and unfurled.

He cautiously began to read. "'My dearest Twilight, it is with great regret that I must inform you that no living being is permitted to cross the city limits of Canterlot at this time. Furthermore, I strongly advise that you and your friends stay away from Blahsadfeguie and do not assist him in his reckless, endangering behavior. His very presence attracts evils the likes of which have never before been encountered by ponykind, and it is all we can do to prevent further-' hey!" Blah snatched the letter from Spike, as well as a blank parchment and quill.

"Forget the formalities, I'm talking to her myself," Blah grumbled, angrily scribbling out a reply. "I've got to set this straight."

"With that attitude, it's no wonder the princess doesn't seem to like you," Twilight asserted, trotting over to him. "Now put the quill down before you make a bigger mess."

Blah stopped for a moment, finally deciding to follow the unicorn's directions, inhaling and exhaling slowly to calm his nerves. "Ok... you're right, but if Celestia won't let us into Canterlot..."

"We'll just have to reason with her," Twilight continued, passing the writing implements back to Spike.

"Do you think there's a way for us to meet her in person?" Spike begged, anticipating a very long conversation.

"No need to worry about that," answered a strong voice from above. Everyone directed their attention towards the looming white figure of Princess Celestia descending on their position, followed by a group of four royal pegasus bodyguards. All of the ponies immediately bowed, as did Spike, Astra, and Beats. Blah looked frantically between the others before remembering to show his respect as well, while Eggman leaned against his mech, watching indifferently from the background.

"You may rise," Celestia permitted, and everyone relaxed... slightly. As the princess continued to look down on everyone with an expression of stern authority, it was hard not to feel rather intimidated. Particularly for Blah, who gazed upon her majesty for the first time, her striped mane flowing proudly despite little wind.

"Your Highness..." began Blah, mustering every ounce of confidence in his body, "you've probably heard a lot about me and the things I've done, including the fact that many of the 'evils' that plague Equestria and its surrounding lands were conceived by me at some point. And so it would be logical to assume that I am the cause of it, and I'll admit that is a very strange coincidence, but I'm actually doing my best to prevent it. I want them all gone just as much as you do, Your Majesty."

"I've already heard that you plan to free Discord so that he can influence the time stream," Celestia refuted. "I cannot allow you to do that."

Blah flinched, as did many of his party. How did she find out so fast? With Blah unable to find a way to respond, Astra picked up the slack. "With all due respect, Princess..." she addressed, "We have no choice. It's because of Discord that Blah was able to get his memory back, and as this is an event that already happened, we must stabilize the time loop he created by freeing him and allowing him to do so from his future. Otherwise, a time paradox will be created."

"He also talked like he knew a lot more than he let on," Beats added. "If we can squeeze out of him the facts, we can finally get down to brass tacks."

Beats's rhyme helped to lighten the mood a bit. "Also, Princess..." Twilight stepped forward. "There was something that one of the villains said that still bugs me... Something about continuities, and the rehabilitation of Discord..."

Celestia took on an expression of mild bewilderment, as if Twilight had read her mind. "Ever since Discord's defeat not long ago, I have considered how his magic might be used for good, if it were possible for him to be reformed... there's the potential for good in everyone, after all, no matter how cold the heart. And it is true that the same goes for you, Blahsadfeguie."

Blah felt most of his tension leave him in an instant, replaced by a tingling warmth that could only come from a princess's compliment. "However, Discord is a fickle soul," she continued, keeping the focus on the matter at hand. "Getting him to cooperate will be hard enough, let alone taming him outright."

"So we'll have the Elements of Harmony ready!" Rainbow Dash contributed. "That way, if he tries anything funny, we can just stone him again. Simple as that!"

There was chatter of agreement among the rest of the crowd. "And he already helped me, in the future," said Blah. "That means either we'll succeed, or he was planning on helping all along. 'Hard' is not the same as 'impossible'!"

Briefly considering the facts, Celestia nodded. "That is correct. And if anyone can accomplish this task, it's you ponies. All right, you've convinced me. I'll escort you to the garden in which Discord is kept. Come along, we have no time to lose!"

The group began to follow the princess as well as her guards, who showed a bit less confidence than the co-ruler of Equestria just did. "Hey..." Dr. Eggman spoke up from the back, for the first time in a while. "What about me? Am I free to go, or what?"

Blah turned around. "We'll need SOME form of transportation when we're finished," he explained. "But I doubt Celestia trusts you as well as all of us, so you should probably hang out here and wait. Go listen to your music or something." He turned again and caught up with the rest of the gang.

Grumbling, Eggman climbed back into his mech, got as comfortable as he could, and donned his headphones.