Title: In My Head
Author: JoeHundredaire
Rating: PG-13/FR15
Disclaimer: Captain Fangirlhumper… err, J.K. Rowling owns the world the Harry Potter series takes place in. Wish the characters were mine so I could do utterly retarded things to them and watch my bank account get steadily larger, but sadly not mine. "In My Head" belongs to Jason Derülo or his record label; not quite sure how that works in this age of manufactured musical acts. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.
Summary: Hermione's looking for love, oh. That's the reason she's at the club, oh. She ain't gonna find it dancing with him, no. Luna's got a better solution for her, uh huh.
Joe's Note: First one in, last one out. This was the story idea that launched my recent foray into assorted Luna-centric stories. Couldn't it get it just right, though, so I decided to wait until it was perfect before releasing it. Enjoy.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, MJ, Daniel, Christopher, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Noh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Judedeath, Ken, Thyatira, William, Wil, Thomas, Jack, Pat, Chris, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

"I don't think you should be an auror, Harry." Luna Lovegood's sudden interjection brought the conversation to a halt, silence falling as everyone turned to look at the elfin blonde Ravenclaw. "The aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of dark magic and gum disease."

In the middle of taking a sip, Harry Potter abruptly found himself inhaling half his mead up his nose as he started to laugh. Really, it had been worth bringing Luna just for this. Emerging from his goblet, coughing and sopping wet but still grinning, he saw something that promised to raise his spirits even higher: Draco Malfoy being dragged by the ear toward them by Argus Filch. "Professor Slughorn, I discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party and to have been delayed in setting out. Did you issue him with an invitation?"

Malfoy pulled himself free of Filch's grip, looking furious at being put on the spot in front of a number of professors and assorted other important individuals. "All right, I wasn't invited! I was trying to gate crash, happy?"

"No, I'm not!" Filch's statement seemed at complete odds with the maniacal look of glee on his face. "You're in trouble, you are! Didn't the headmaster say that nighttime prowling's out unless you've got permission? Didn't he, eh?"

Unfortunately for Harry, Slughorn waved his hand dismissively at the caretaker. "That's all right, Argus, that's all right. It's Christmas, and it's not a crime to want to come to a party. Just this once, we'll forget any punishment; you may stay, Draco." Filch's expression of outraged disappointment was perfectly predictable - he seemed to live solely to make as many people as unhappy as possible - but why, Harry wondered as he eyed his nemesis, did Malfoy look almost equally unhappy? And why was Snape looking at Malfoy as though both angry and - was it possible? - a little afraid?

But before Harry could put too much thought into what he'd seen, Filch had turned and was shuffling away as he muttered under his breath, leaving Malfoy to compose his face into a smile and thank Slughorn for his generosity and Snape to… stand there looking like the overgrown bat he was. Interestingly enough, despite his willingness to let Malfoy stay, Slughorn didn't seem particularly interested in conversing with the Slytherin. "It's nothing, nothing. I did know your grandfather, after all…"

"He always spoke very highly of you, sir. Said you were the best potion-maker he'd ever known…" Harry found himself staring at Malfoy. It wasn't the sucking up that intrigued him; he'd watched Malfoy do that around Snape since his arrival at Hogwarts six and a half years earlier. No, it was the fact that Malfoy looked… ill, almost. Their paths crossing infrequently, Harry hadn't seen Malfoy up close for ages; he now saw that Malfoy had dark shadows under his eyes and a distinctly grayish tinge to his skin.

As Malfoy turned, perhaps intending to slip into the crowd and either enjoy the party or return to what he'd originally been doing when Filch caught him, Snape's hand came down hard on his shoulder. "I'd like a word with you, Draco. Now."

"Oh, now, Severus, it's Christmas. Don't be too hard…"

"I'm his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard - or not - to be. Follow me, Draco." The pair abruptly left, Malfoy looking resentful as he led the way, forced along by Snape's hand on his shoulder.

Harry stood there for a moment, uncertain of what to do, before finally coming to a decision and turning to his date for the evening. "I'll be back in a bit, Luna. Err, bathroom."

Luna stared at him unblinkingly for a long moment and Harry knew instinctively that she had seen right through his excuse. But apparently she didn't care. "Alright. Good luck." Yeah, she knew. Oh well. Who cared if he was a horrible liar? All that mattered was finding out what Malfoy - and apparently now Snape - were up to. His lips quirked up in a faint smile as he turned and disappeared back into the crowd, her voice reaching his ears over the crowd as she explained the Rotfang Conspiracy to Professor Trelawney…

Watching as Harry rushed out of the party, Hermione let out a growl of frustration. How was she supposed to hide from Cormac - or at least blunt his advances - if the only person she knew at the party was gone? This was turning out to be an immensely bad idea in hindsight. Just because 'Won-Won' wanted to act in an infantile manner and let Lavender slobber all over him didn't mean she needed to lower herself to his level. She was better than that, darn it. Better than him.

"Hermione!" Oh no. Grimacing, Hermione slowly turned to find Cormac rushing towards her. "There you are. I was just talking to a few members of the Holyhead Harpies, and Gwenog Jones - you know, their captain and one of the beaters - mentioned that one of their newest reserve members is a muggleborn like you and I thou-"

Suddenly, there was a pulse of red light behind Cormac and his eyes went wide for a moment before shutting as he tipped over forward. A small squeak escaped from Hermione's lips as she dodged to the left, letting him pass through the space she'd just been occupying and crash to the floor. She stared down uncomprehendingly at Cormac's insensate form for a few seconds before looking up to find Luna standing there in all her spangly silver glory. "Cormac McLaggen only agreed to be your date because he was hoping to meet some of the quidditch players that were Slug Club members back when they were in school. I'm sorry, Hermione, but he's just not that into you."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, it's not like I was 'into' him, Luna. I just asked him to come as my date to annoy Ron." And now that one of her friends had attacked him, even if she was inclined to try a move like this again, the odds of Cormac agreeing to it were somewhere between slim and none…

"I know, Hermione, I was there when you told Harry. Remember?" Oh. Right. Hermione winced, running one hand through her disheveled hair. God, tonight was turning into such a disaster. She just wanted to head back up to Gryffindor Tower, crawl into bed, and- "You should have asked me." What? Hermione fixed Luna with an incredulous look, the blonde staring back unblinkingly. "I noticed Ronald looking at me before he asked Lavender out; I think he was considering dating me to make you angry. So you asking me likely would have made him even angrier than you asking Cormac, because not only would you have been taking someone else, you would have been taking someone he was hoping to use against you at some point. And I'm a far better conversationalist than Cormac. Or at least I'd like to think I am."

Sadly enough, Hermione couldn't exactly argue with that one. Luna was also better behaved. And, thinking back on her night… sitting there debating with Luna about whether or not there actually were nargles infesting the mistletoe would have been a lot more interesting than trying to avoid getting pawed by Cormac under it. There was just one problem with Luna's supposed solution to her Ron-baiting conundrum. "Harry asked you."

Luna reached out, taking Hermione by the hand and leading the unresisting girl out into the center of the room. "Harry asked me earlier today. If you'd asked before that, you could have been my date instead." Oh. Well, that explained why Harry hadn't talked about it with her any and why she hadn't heard about it until dinner that evening. Caught up in her thoughts, Hermione didn't even put up a token resistance as Luna brought Hermione's right hand up to rest on her shoulder before taking the left in her own. Wrapping her own right arm around Hermione's waist, Luna began to guide Hermione in slow circles around the floor. "And… one, two, three. One, two, three…"

Watching as the world slowly whirled past around her, Hermione found her body instinctively falling into a familiar pattern of steps as her body submitted to Luna's gentle guidance. But while she knew what she was doing - at least in the literal sense - Hermione had no idea why she was dancing in the middle of Slughorn's party with Luna. She wanted to, though. Know, that is. Well, she was quickly getting into the dancing and so she wanted that too… but she still needed to understand. And since there was really only one way to resolve the matter to her satisfaction, she opted to ask the blonde. "Luna? What are we doing?"

"The waltz. Slow waltz, if you want to be technical." Luna's quirky little smile made Hermione certain that the blonde knew exactly what she was being asked and was deliberately being evasive. How very… Luna. "If you'd rather try something else, we can wait for the Weird Sisters to play a song in common time and try tango or foxtrot?"

Hermione blushed brightly at the idea of being wrapped around the slim blonde Ravenclaw in some of the positions she'd seen her mother and father assume at their dance lessons while learning the Argentine tango. There was no saying that Luna was referring to anything more daring than the standard English-style tango, but just in case… "Let's stick to waltz."

"Tango later?"

"…maybe."

"It is an act that is crucial to success, Draco! Where do you think I would have been all these years, if I had not known how to act? Now listen to me! You are being incautious, wandering around at night, getting yourself caught, and if you are placing your reliance in assistants like Crabbe and Goyle-"

"They're not the only ones. I've got other people on my side, better people!"

"Then why not confide in me, and I can-"

"I know what you're up to! You want to steal my glory!"

There was a long pause, and then what little warmth had been in Snape's voice abruptly disappeared. "You are speaking like a child. I quite understand that your father's capture and imprisonment has upset you, but-"

Harry had barely a second's warning; he heard Malfoy's footsteps on the other side of the door and flung himself out of the way just as it burst open. Pressing himself back against the wall, he watched Malfoy stride away down the corridor, past the open door of Slughorn's office and then around the distant corner, disappearing from sight. Hardly daring to breathe, Harry remained crouched down as Snape emerged slowly from the classroom. His expression unfathomable, he returned to the party. Harry remained on the floor, hidden beneath the cloak, his mind racing. What… what had he just heard? What did it mean? And what was an Unbreakable Vow, and what role did it play in whatever was going on?

Hermione would probably know.

Hermione.

Who was still at the party.

The party!

Cursing under his breath, Harry jumped to his feet and hurried towards the door of Slughorn's office, stuffing his invisibility cloak back into his pocket as he went. Pausing in the doorway to assess the best way to reenter the gathering, Harry noted the position of a few key individuals - Snape, Slughorn, Trelawney, Eldred Worple - and then plotted a path that would keep him as far from them as possible. Harry did his best to keep his head low as he bobbed and wove around his peers, making his way toward the far side of his room. From there, he could establish an alibi of having been out of sight, rather than out of room, if anyone asked. And… Harry's brain abruptly short-circuited as he reached his destination and found it occupied.

By Hermione.

And Luna.

Who were kissing.

When they finally came up for air - thankfully without the sickening pop that seemed to accompany the end of Ron and Lavender's snogging sessions - Hermione's eyes went wide at the sight of him. Luna reacted far more calmly, looking back over her shoulder at him. "Harry. You spent a very long time in the bathroom. I was starting to worry about you."

Harry couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. 'Worrying'. Is that what they were calling what Luna and Hermione had been doing now? "You, uh, seem to have found a way of keeping yourself entertained."

"I have, haven't I?" Looking supremely pleased with herself, Luna snuggled closer to Hermione and rested her cheek on the brunette's shoulder. "After you left, I decided that I wanted to try my hand at your 'saving people' thing and decided to rescue Hermione from her date. That led to us deciding to keep each other company, which involved waltzing, and then a bit of West Coast Swing, and then a bit of mead because Hermione was still a bit too tense…" Ah. And here Harry had thought the flushed cheeks were purely due to him catching them. "…and then some tango, which led to kissing. That's when you showed up. Oh, and Harry? I think we should see other people."

Considering they had been there as friends, she didn't really need his permission or anything… but Harry couldn't help an incredibly stupid question from slipping out. "…any chance I can keep seeing you seeing other people?"

"Hmm." Luna appeared to consider for a moment before shrugging. "I'd say your odds are about the same as being as mauled by a polar bear and an owlbear in the same day."

Despite knowing her answer was essentially the equivalent of 'no chance in hell', Harry actually found himself pondering that one. "Well, if you think about it? I've already survived the Killing Curse, being bitten by a basilisk, three dementor attacks, and two duels with Voldemort. The odds of something like that happening to me are… well, pretty good."

Hermione and Luna exchanged surprised looks; clearly Luna hadn't taken that one into consideration before throwing out that particular answer. "Oh. Right. Hmm. So does that mean I'm supposed to let you watch then?"

Evidently, Hermione hadn't drunk quite enough mead to be amenable to that particular proposal. "Not if you want to get past first base with me, it doesn't."

"Oh. Well, I do want that. So sorry, Harry, but it looks like the answer is no."