Chapter 42: Dancing with the Devil

In the vast sculpture garden of Canterlot stood, among the various statues, three earth ponies, three pegasi, two unicorns, a dragon, a human, and a beet. Before them towered the anguished, serpentine form of a petrified draconequus, his every limb and horn borrowed from a different species of animal. Despite being frozen in such a pitiful pose, his impish, malevolent eyes still cast a powerful, condescending stare, as if consciously sizing up the new arrivals and poking fun at them. No innocent soul was nearby, as they had all been instructed to clear the area for their own safety.

Princess Celestia had already left to take care of the other issues on her plate, entrusting the rest of the task to her subjects. Each of them exhibited varying amounts of confidence.

Donning the symbols of the Elements of Harmony, six of the ponies stepped in front of the rest, harnessing their multicolored power and focusing it on the statue. With bated breath, the others witnessed the stone cracking, giving way to the might of the embodiment of chaos itself. Bursting forth in an explosion of rubble, the satisfied Discord stood amongst smoke, stretching and refamiliarizing himself with movement.

"Whew!" sighed Discord as he loosened up his joints in every direction imaginable, while the onlookers stood vigilant. "Thank goodness you arrived, I was just starting to get a cramp." He took interest to Blah right away, hovering around him and studying from every angle before moving on to Hailstorm. "I see you've brought some new fruits to the basket. Or vegetables, in this case," he mused as he lackadaisically poked Beats in the head.

"Hey man, lay off the dome," the vegetable protested.

"Why would I, with a 'dome' as round and spectacularly moist as yours," laughed Discord, backing off to study Astra, who was still in the process of studying him as well.

"We're not here to give you things to poke at!" proclaimed Twilight.

Discord crossed his arms, giving Twilight a coy glare. "Oh, I figured THAT much, my dear Twilight Sparkle." He ruffled the unicorn's mane to her chagrin, making it puff out. "But I figure the least you could do when greeting an old friend would be to leave out a few innocent, woodland creatures for me to play with."

"After what you did to them the last time," Fluttershy asserted herself, "we wouldn't let you get within a hundred yards of one..." She trailed off as Discord swooped within inches of her face with an intimidating expression. He laughed, watching her shrink away.

"All right, Discord," Blah said as he stepped forward, "I know you're a man... pony... dragon of action, so I'll cut to the chase."

"Ah, the no-nonsense leader type, are you?" Discord pulled up a large, cushioned chair out of thin air and nestled himself comfortably in it, folding his legs and twiddling his fingers. "How boring. But do go on."

Blah was taken aback for a moment at his beloved spirit of chaos calling him 'boring', but he continued. "We're here because a future version of yourself played a significant role in rekindling the reunion of the universes, and in order to complete the time loop, we have to set you free."

"Now I KNOW that's preposterous," Discord denied, sprawling himself across the arms of his chair. "Time travel and I don't get along very well. I'm basically a walking paradox as it is, and entrusting me to keep the timelines straightened out is like asking a fox to watch over a chicken coop."

"It's true..." Astra added. "It's literally impossible for a being that radiates as much chaos as he to have a physical presence in any time but the present... which is why he used what he called a 'proxy'."

"Hmm... I never thought of that. I like your style, kid!" Discord affectionately stroked Astra's cheek. She wondered if she should regret what she had just told him, as did just about everyone else.

Someone in the group didn't quite think so, however. Pinkie Pie could sense something just a bit strange about Discord's behavior. "You knew all that already, didn't you?!" she accused, eyeing him suspiciously, and rather closely.

Discord froze for a moment. Then laughed. "Hah hah, Pinkie, you really do remind me of myself." He floated wistfully through the sky, shrugging. "Who's to say that wasn't me from the PAST that you interacted with? You might have just freed me for no reason for all you know!"

This only served to make everyone feel worse. Including Pinkie. "Oh... yeah..."

"...so in that case, do you know who I am already?" Blah asked, trying to keep his cool. As much as he liked the guy, actually meeting him in person was another thing entirely.

"Oh, anypony can tell there's something different about you," Discord said as he produced measuring tape and noted all of Blah's dimensions. "You're not quite like the other ponies, that's for sure. One might almost say you have two too many legs."

"So you DO know," concluded Blah. "And since you helped me before... or perhaps later... do you think maybe you could..."

"Turn you back into a human?" Discord guessed. "Well, it's certainly within my capabilities... I am a master of transformative magic after all..." He demonstrated this ability on a nearby flower, turning it into a toothy, snapping venus flytrap, "...but what's in it for me?"

"What was in it for you when you helped Blah get his memory back?" Hailstorm confronted.

"I think you already know the answer to that, my little markspony," Discord taunted as he picked up a pebble and flicked it at the winter pegasus, beaning him right between the eyes. It didn't hurt, but it definitely shut him up.

There was much panic among everyone by this point, considering the deed has already been done. Their original plan was to free Discord so that it he's able to accomplish the task that is yet to happen from his perspective, but now the possibility that it was him from the past was revealed, meaning this act may have been unnecessary.

Twilight wasn't quite convinced, though. Clearing her mind and focusing on the present, she spoke. "You're still here." She gave the draconequus an accusing stare. "If it was you from the past... and there was nothing else you needed us for... you would have long since tried to escape by now, or else risk getting found out and sealed by the Elements again. But one or both of those things are false. Because you seem to have no intention of leaving..."

"Well, well, Twilight... using logic against a deity of chaos..." Discord took on a dull, defeated grimace. "Well played. All right, there is no need to panic... you did the right thing. I'm not even sure what this proxy might have been, but it almost certainly would...or will have involved someone else's help. Someone who knows the ins and outs of the time stream well enough to find a few loop holes to exploit..."

"So," Blah stepped in again, "there is the matter of what you still need us for... Surely a group as powerful and influential as us has some use to you, am I right? And I really do miss having hands..."

"Whoa, hold on there, pardner," Applejack interrupted. "Are you absolutely SURE that y'all want to offer more of your help to Discord over somethin' as simple as becomin' human again...?"

"Well I for one don't care who or what he wants to be," Pinkie added. "He'll always be my Lightsy, no matter how many legs he has or how much clothing he wears!"

"The choice is up to HIM, after all..." Discord nodded. "Stay as a pony forever... or help out little ol' me with some teensy weensy errands?" He blinked rapidly, giving Blah the puppy-eyed treatment.

"...Can we at least hear what you want us to do before I decide?" Blah asked, showing some hesitation. It was obvious to all that he was trying to stall so that he'd have more time to decide, and it wasn't helping to calm their nerves at all.

"It's simple, really," Discord said with a grin, producing a white screen and a projector, initiating a slideshow along with his upcoming speech. He donned a pair of 3-D glasses, even though the slides were in no way three-dimensional. In fact, they were overly cartoony.

"Our goals already overlap in a lot of places." The first slide was one of that exact moment - the group of heroes standing around the projector controlled by Discord. Most of them were depicted with speech bubbles above their heads filled with question marks. "I already know you're trying to separate the eight universes from one..." A diagram of the eight Jewels of Universe, each one a distinct color. "...by playing a game designed just for that sort of occasion." Eight planets in the exact locations of the Jewels from the previous slide, orbiting a complex black-and-white checkered shape. "And some of the main obstacles in your way are Charge and his minions."

A crude drawing of eight figures with exaggerated evil expressions, most of which were easily recognized: Charge, Trank, Mefirst (with a giant red X scribbled over him), Ipsus (with a similar X, but also a question mark drawn above him), Edwin, Rochelle, and Sihok, but the eighth was a clearly female humanoid with smooth, jet black skin and small, solid white eyes. Blah at least identified her species to be Dersite, a race of chess-themed inhabitants of the dark moon Derse. There were a handful of key Dersite "NPCs" in the iterations of SBURB that he had seen, but she was not one of them as far as Blah could tell.

"They seem pretty intent on infiltrating the game in someone's place, are they not? Well I simply want them... Out of the picture!" The next slide was a copy of the previous one, except there were red X's over all of the figures, and Charge's was covered entirely in angry scribbles, as well as the word "DEAD" written nearby for emphasis.

"Wanting all of them... d-dead?" Fluttershy quietly observed. "Th-that seems a bit harsh, even for you..."

"Fluttershy's right," Twilight added. "Killing in self-defense is one thing... but we wouldn't want to kill anybody that we didn't have to..."

"I'll have you know that Mefirst's death was absolutely necessary," Hailstorm defended, even though nobody had been threatening to accuse him. "We were too late to save Beats using the... uh, the 'standard' method."

"Beats ain't holding anything against you, bro," Beats gratefully reinforced with a thumbs-up.

"Oh, trust me, you'll have to finish every last one of them off," Discord assured. "If you don't, they'll keep coming back, strong as ever. You've already seen that with Ipsus. And after all they've put you through so far, don't tell me that you don't want to put an end to it, once and for all."

"They ARE the main reason we've made so little progress after such a long time... what EXACTLY are their plans, anyway?" Blah asked.

Discord turned back to the slideshow. "They also want to separate the universes, only once that's done..." A slide showing each of the rival gang standing on top of the eight planets, each wearing a crown. "...they want to rule each of them as gods. This is part of the game's reward to the players for completing it, you see. And with them in charge... haha, see what I did there?" Mixed reactions from the crowd. "...Anyway." A slide of a very sad, small Discord slinking away from the towering Charge. "I won't have any influence over the universe at all. None! I'll lose all of my power. And of course, so will Celestia and Luna. Not that I care about them. It's a package deal, really."

"So it all boils down to this..." Blah summarized. "Either let Discord on the loose, where chaos MIGHT get out of hand... or let Charge on the loose, where there will be no hope for anyone whatsoever."

"When you put it like THAT..." Twilight bowed her head solemnly. "It's the lesser of two evils... but since one comes with the princesses losing all of their power..."

Discord shut off the projector, which disappeared along with its image. "Of course, you'll also have me on your side to make the task much easier. And I KNOW you'll have a rough time against Charge without my help. I don't like fighting directly, but just imagine what you could accomplish with the powers of chaos itself aiding you!" He emphasized his last statement by darkening the sky, casting lightning from it ominously.

"...but it can't be that simple," Twilight followed. "This is still Discord we're talking about, and all he's asking is to completely exterminate a group of wrongdoers we were already up against... There has to be a catch."

"Yeah," threatened Rainbow Dash, getting within striking distance of Discord, "he probably wants to do the exact same thing - take someone's place and rule the universe himself!"

Discord stumbled away, appalled by Rainbow's suggestion. "Why, that's absurd! I would NEVER backstab my new allies in such a dastardly way!" The sarcasm and inflection in his voice was thoroughly scathing. Nobody was amused. "...Especially not when they're THIS ADORABLE," he neared Fluttershy, whose frantic scrambling was in vain as he snatched her up in an exaggerated hug. "Look, who could betray this face?" He held the cowering yellow pegasus up to the heroes. Still nobody was amused.

"Man, put that poor girl down," Beats shunned. "Nobody's buying it, you uncool clown."

"Oh, and you think YOU'RE cool just because you rhyme every other sentence," Discord muttered, setting Fluttershy on the ground where she scampered to safety behind Twilight.

"All right, let me revise my earlier summary, in full, unabridged detail," Blah said forcefully. "Discord wants us to kill some dudes that we very well could have ended up killing anyway, in return for turning me back into a human and offering his 'help' getting us past the game and the dudes. Where he might eventually stab us in the back afterward to become the single ruler of Equestria and possibly more. It's either that, or I remain a pony just like I've been for the past 20 years, and we'll just have to deal with the game and the dudes ourselves, which I say we're pretty well equipped for. Not to mention, considering I am a Hero of Space, and a veteran of Hajike, I'll probably find a way to change back on my own. Well guys, what do you th-"

"Did you say Hajike...?" Discord interrupted. He seemed genuinely surprised at the mention of the word.

"Y... yes," Blah confirmed, sensing that he may have just introduced a new variable into the equation. There were confused looks all around. "What does it mean to you?"

"Well, my boy..." Discord put an arm over Blah's shoulder. The latter was too interested on what the former had to say to mind. "Hajike means a lot to me... for it's essentially weaponized chaos!"

Something snapped in Blah's head. "So... are you saying that we both get power from the same source...?"

"More or less! Tell me, what's your style?" This was more than just a tactic to keep the conversation going. Blah could tell that Discord was legitimately interested, and the connection was definitely plausible.

"I use Fist of the Milky Way," Blah explained. "My attacks are themed after celestial bodies and phenomena..."

"How fitting! I bet you're pretty good, but I could teach you how to be even better," Discord proposed. "Learn a few tricks from the master himself, and you might just have a chance against Charge..."

"Blah, don't tell me you're going to fall for something like that!" Twilight cut in, showing that not everyone quite believed the same thing Blah did.

Blah remained cautious. "What do you have to teach me that I couldn't learn from, say, Bo-bobo...?"

"Bo-bobo's an expert, sure, but I am the MASTER. Hajike draws power from chaos, and you're talking to chaos incarnate! The question you should be asking is, what DON'T I have to teach you?"

"Ooh! Do me too!" Pinkie Pie jumped excitedly.

"Pinkie..." resounded an exasperate cry from the other ponies.

Ignoring them, she carried on. "Blah said a while ago that I might have potential with that hash brown stuff, and I'd have to be pretty dumb to ever pass up the opportunity to be as cool as him! So teach me how to use it too!"

"Heh, at this rate I could open up an entire dojo," mused Discord. "It's only fair that you both should get an equal chance at my training."

Blah looked back at the other heroes. None of them seemed too thrilled about the idea. He cleared his throat. "All right, allow me to modify our working arrangement... You'll change me back into a human, as well as teach me and Pinkie some of your secrets. In return, we'll take out Charge and his accomplices for you WITHOUT your supervision. You must stay here in Canterlot, under Celestia's watch, in contact with us via Pesterchum or something so that we can complete the time loop as planned whenever we figure out how to do it. Furthermore, you will not be allowed to go on any of your famous chaos sprees. Failure to comply will result in you being sealed in stone, right back where you came from. How does that sound, everyone?"

There was some begrudging approval among the crowd.

"Hmm, talk about getting the shorter end of the bargain," Discord complained. "I'm not getting a whole lot of freedom here..."

"On the contrary..." Twilight refuted. "The fact that we're allowing you to move around the city rather than spend your time as a statue until you're needed is freedom enough, don't you think?"

"You... have a point." Discord sighed. "Ok, you win this one. But I have just one more amendment to make." Everyone groaned, anticipating the worst. "You don't get the full extent of my services... just yet. With each member of Charge's band you take down, I'll deliver more and more on my promise. By the time you're ready to face Charge himself, I'll have given you all the training you need to defeat him."

Blah thought for a moment. "I think we can live with that, as long as you follow all of the other restrictions..."

"Oh, I will. If nothing else, I'm a draconequus of my word."

"I don't know how believable that is," said Twilight, "but given his situation, and especially his vicinity to Princess Celestia, he's not in much of a position to try anything."

"Also, I suggest the six of us stay here in Canterlot as well," Rarity suggested. "Blahsadfeguie doesn't need our direct help to enter his little game. And that way, we'll have the Elements of Harmony nearby if Discord really misbehaves. Plus, I've always wanted another opportunity to stay here in the city for a while..."

"But..." Pinkie was the only one who had an obvious problem with that. "I want to go with Blah..."

"Sorry, Pinkie," Twilight apologized, "but the Elements won't work if somepony's missing. We learned that the hard way last time, remember?" Pinkie nodded sadly.

"And hey, don't worry," Blah reassured her as well, "it sure sounds like we'll be coming back here a lot for Discord's training anyway. Perhaps even more often than that." Pinkie nodded again.

Discord sighed again, more due to impatience this time. "So do we have a deal or not...?"

Everyone looked at each other one last time to make sure there were no objections. They were all ready for the commitment they were about to make, including Pinkie Pie.

"I believe so." Blah extended a hoof, which Discord was more than happy to shake.

The deal was sealed. There was a collective sigh of relief.

"Ok. I think we all know what comes first." Blah looked up at Discord expectingly.

A moment of silence passed, before the king of chaos realized what was going on. "Oh... pardon me, I'm just not used to going that long without something silly happening." He stretched his fingers, wiggled them a bit, and pointed them in Blah's direction. The stallion closed his eyes, knowing that he would open them as something different entirely...

Poof. For a fraction of an instant, Blah felt complete nothingness, as if he had passed through nonexistence, but it was over just as quickly, replaced with... a feeling that was very familiar, and yet very alien. It felt natural, yet new at the same time. It was something he hadn't felt in ages, so it made sense to him that it would feel a little odd. He was prepared for that. He felt colder in some areas than others, which meant that he had clothes instead of fur. His old clothes, no doubt. They felt rather tight and awkward in some areas, but he expected it to feel weird after a couple of decades of wearing barely anything at all. Their presence was a definite plus, anyway. His eyes opened, revealing the world from a taller height than he had been used to. It was rather dizzying... He noticed everyone else was staring at him as if they too were seeing something for the first time in 20 years.

Blah raised his arms in front of him, seeing that he definitely had hands now... clenching them into fists to test that they were real. They were, and they were great. Next, he tried bringing them up to his face, clutching his hair with one hand and his glasses with the other. An old, subconscious tic of his, still very much present. His hair reached his shoulders, roughly the same length that he remembered it, and his glasses were definitely there. The staring continued. He couldn't get over some of their faces, now that he was focusing more on the crowd... some were of shock, some of confusion, and Discord himself seemed overly amused for some reason, barely holding in his laughter.

Blah opened his new, human mouth to speak. "What's the matter, guys, I feel fi..." He stopped. Something wasn't right. His voice... sounded completely different than what he remembered. It was a lot higher-pitched.

He looked down at himself, and immediately regretted it. It was a human body, yes, but there was a significant problem with it. It was not a male human body.

"D-Discord..." Blah addressed, fully aware of how unnatural he (or she) sounded. "What did you do."

"What are you talking about..." the culprit asked, trying very hard to stifle his amusement. "I turned you... into a human..." At that point, he doubled over in mad laughter.

"Oh yeah, I can see that," Blah's voice went even higher in a combination of disbelief and rage. "But this... I didn't agree to this." Discord's laughter did not stop. "This isn't funny! Change me back right now, or else...!"

"What?" Discord wiped away a tear, sitting up on the ground and letting his guffawing die down. "Didn't I say you wouldn't be getting 'the full extent of my services' right away? It was part of the deal, remember? Plus, I must say... it's not a bad look for you!" He burst into laughter once again.

"Are you saying now I'm stuck like this until we kill one of Charge's minions?" As the shock wore off, Blah began to feel extremely uncomfortable and nervous in front of everyone else.

"...just look on the bright side," Twilight was the first of the witnesses to speak. "You're human now. You can use hammers again, among other things."

"Biological sex is really of little importance," Astra said next. She seemed the least fazed by the change. "Especially compared to what you were wanting in the first place... to be human again..."

Blah shuffled a bit. "I guess you're right... but I'm bound to see somebody else before it's all said and done. What will they think of me...?"

"Silly Blah, we've already been over this!" Pinkie giggled, bouncing closer. "You're still you on the inside, no matter how many changes you go through on the outside!"

"I didn't think you'd be taking this as well as you are, Pinkie..." Blah noted. "What about... us?"

Pinkie laughed. "What? We can still hang out and laugh together like we have been." She leaned in closer for a whisper. "The more... intimate stuff might have to wait a bit though. I mean, unless you're up for trying something new..."

Blah's eyes went wide. "I didn't think you were, uh..." He couldn't figure out how serious she was being.

"...You're enjoying this, aren't you." Twilight gave an incriminating, dissatisfied glare in the direction of Discord, who hid away a bowl of popcorn and faked an innocent smile.

"Ok, listen," Hailstorm finally spoke from the back. "Discord is obviously trying to stall for time by creating shock and drama. Blah, you of all people should know our time is important... I say we wrap it up and get straight to entering the game."

Discord drooped. "Aww... you're no fun at all."

Blah was somewhat grateful for the opportunity to change the subject. Hail had a point. "I agree completely," Blah said, "but you're forgetting something. We're still missing two of our players. Seraphina and Broshi. Does anyone have any idea where, or dare I say when, they went?" As he talked, he collected the armor his equine self had worn not long ago. It certainly wouldn't fit him now...

Eager to get down to business, Astra stepped forward. "I used some special equipment of mine to scan the remnants of the vortex from which Hailstorm emerged. I learned that, other than you and him, someone entered the current timeline about a month ago, and someone else landed 2 years in the future."

"So one of them won't be available to us for another 2 years..." Blah repeated. "However, we do have reason to search. Ok. Since we have some players ready to enter the game right now, we'll just have to get started with the first couple. Beats, you'll be Astra's server."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," the veggie-man accepted. Astra nodded as well.

"Meanwhile, me and Hailstorm will go back to Blahtown and prepare ourselves. Something happened to my backpack, so I need a new hammer at least. I'll serve Beats when he's ready, but until then we'll search for Seraphina and Broshi. If one of them has been around for a month, there has to be some clue as to where they are..."

"Right," Hail acknowledged. It was a great feeling, hearing Blah assert his command again, even if it wasn't quite his voice. "Oh, also!" Hail fished out his tablet computer and set it in front of Twilight. "You should take this, in case you need to communicate with us while we're gone. I'll be with Blah, so you could talk to me through him." He paused, conscious about the inaccuracy of the pronoun he just used. "Uh... Blah? Sorry if this is a strange or an awkward question, but..."

Blah sighed, not even looking at Hail. "I would still prefer being referred to as a 'he', but to be honest, by this point I wouldn't really care. Just say whatever comes naturally. And that goes for all of you, really. Narrator included." If such a narrator even existed, he would be sure to keep that in mind. Right after punishing him for breaking the fourth wall.

"...well, anyway," Twilight went back on track, taking Hail's device, "we'll keep in touch."

"Good. That settles it." Blah was more than ready to go. He turned to Pinkie once again. "I'll come back very soon. Hopefully by the time we meet again, we'll have gotten most of these things sorted out and I'll be back to my old self..." Pinkie smiled brightly. Blah could still hardly believe she didn't mind so much, but perhaps that was just one advantage of being Pinkie.

"W-what about me?" asked Spike, suddenly drawing everyone's attention. Many of them had forgotten he was even there. "Where do I go...?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "You can go with Blah, who will take you back to Ponyville," she decided. "Someone has to look after the library while we're gone. Not to mention inform all of the townsponies where we'll be for the next... who knows how long. You can handle that, right Spike?"

Spike gave a salute. "You can count on me, Twilight!"

"We'll try our best to keep him out of trouble," promised Blah. "Now, let's get this over with..."

The Egg-Desperado was in motion once more, with its passenger count cut in half. Their plan was already in motion. Twilight and the other Element-wielders told Celestia about the deal they had made with Discord, and the Princess immediately helped the seven of them get settled within the city. Blah, Hail, Astra, Beats, and Spike boarded Eggman's jet. Their first destination was Astra's house, in order to finally prepare her for entry into the Medium as soon as possible. Veggie Vegas was next, as it was still Beats's place of residence, followed by Ponyville to drop off Spike and take care of some unsettled business. Eggman would then stop at Blahtown and deliver his remaining two passengers, then he was free to return to Metropolis. Along the way, they planned to search for traces of the one friend that was dumped into the timeline a month before.

"So... is there anything else you know about where they landed?" Blah asked Astra, wisely using their travel time to discuss the missing players.

"They should have all arrived in or near Ponyville," she answered. "So far, both you and Hailstorm ended up in the same physical place... so it's only reasonable to assume that Sera and Broshi did as well."

"That's a good point," Blah agreed. "So it sounds like Ponyville is the best place to search for clues... Perhaps some of the residents can remember back to a month ago..."

"Also..." Hail chimed in. "I think that Broshi must have been the one that wound up in the past. If it were Sera, she probably would've been able to find you easily. Maybe even as Light Star."

"Another good point. But what would he have done..." Blah gazed out of the window thoughtfully. "I'm pretty sure a month is further into the past than when I first arrived here. He might not have even realized what time it was, went searching for us, and is probably lost somewhere." He sighed. "But we'll worry about that when we get to Ponyville. It's not like we can learn any new information without talking to someone who was there that month..."

A few moments of silence passed. Spike cleared his throat loudly. "I live in Ponyville, you know..."

"Oh! That's right!" exclaimed Hail. "Do you remember anything strange happening around the town a month ago...?"

Spike thought back. "Now that you mention it, a weird sound woke me up one night last month." He tilted his head in thought. "I don't remember it too well, because I was still sleepy, but I looked out the window and saw... something round, I think."

"Something round?" repeated Blah.

"Yeah, just this large round thing sitting in the middle of the road." He strained to remember. "It was dark and rainy, too, so I couldn't make out any details..."

"That doesn't sound relevant at all," said Hail. "Neither Sera nor Broshi are that round. I think they'd both have some kind of easily distinguishable features, even to someone who's half-asleep and has very little light."

"I wouldn't say that," said Astra. "Remember the state that Blah was in when he arrived 20 years ago. He wasn't even human anymore. Maybe whoever it was suffered a similar change."

"Did the round object do anything?" Blah encouraged Spike to continue. "Did you attempt to get a closer look, or wait until morning?"

Spike shook his head. "I was too tired to do anything about it, so I went back to bed. I didn't see it again in the morning, so I thought it was just a dream."

"That... doesn't really tell us much," concluded Hail.

"Hey, I'm trying my best," Spike defended. "Maybe somepony else saw it too and can remember more?"

"Well, that'll have to wait until we get back to Ponyville," said Blah. "We've got a few places to go fir-"

WHAM! The plane shook violently. A small alarm blared.

"W-what was that?!" cried Spike, taking cover under a seat.

"Don't panic," Dr. Eggman announced, "but we're under attack!"

"That sounds like reason to panic to me," Hail argued as Blah and Astra rushed to the window to attempt to get a better look.

"We'll have to make an emergency landing..." Eggman said uneasily, yet showing good concentration. "Most of my weapons are covered up in this plane form, I can't transform this thing with passengers in the back."

The plane tilted suddenly, dodging some kind of pulsating green projectile. Blah barely spotted it as it whizzed past. "May I ask WHAT is attacking?"

"It's too small to see from up here," replied Astra.

"We can't even catch a break today," Beats lamented. "I just want to go home and play..."

The plane neared the ground, aiming for a flat, grassy plain. Two figures stood in the middle of it. One of them watched as the other shot projectiles of various colors.

"Who are they?" Astra questioned.

"We'll find out soon enough..." answered Blah as the plane touched down. Its passengers filed out as quickly as they could, entering a battle pose. Whoever it was, they stopped to confront the heroes directly.

Nobody recognized them straight away, except for Blah... who was shocked at the two beings that stood before him.

One was Bob Sladfigy, the strangely-fashioned trainer that he had defeated a long time ago in a rather rough battle. He had with him a Pokemon, but it was not one Blah had seen him with before. It was a Kadabra, and judging by the shortness of the whiskers, a female one.

"Is that..." Blah uttered, keeping his guard up.

"Huh. Is that really all of you?" Bob asked, a little surprised himself. "Nobody else on board?"

"Who wants to know, anyway?" Hailstorm demanded.

Bob shrugged arrogantly. "The name's Bob Sladfigy. I'm looking for a medium-haired, hammer-wielding bully by the name of Blahsadfeguie. No relation. My new friend here tells me that he was on that plane." He pointed sharply at the pegasus. "Now where are you hiding him?"

"W-what..." Hail began, unsure how to react to this odd-looking fellow who knew a surprising amount about Blah. He glanced discreetly at Blah for direction. Blah shook his head slightly. "...are you t-talking about," Hail stuttered from the pressure. He turned out to be a terrible liar. "I n-never heard of anyone by that n-name..."

"An obvious lie," the Kadabra spoke in a cold voice, startling everyone. "Blah is already standing right in front of us."

"Really?" Bob studied each of the heroes closely. He stopped on Eggman. "You're not saying he suddenly got old and fat, are you?"

"I take offense to that," Eggman responded angrily.

"No," the Kadabra stated bluntly. "Blah appears to us in the form of that woman." She pointed in his direction.

"Ah, I see... a clever disguise to avoid my wrath," Bob mused, walking up to Blah. "That's about as fake as fake gets." He poked Blah's breast smugly. Blah wasn't sure whether to feel offended, violated, or both.

He slapped Bob's hand away. "I assure you, they're real, and don't you get any ideas," asserted Blah. Astra silently facepalmed.

"Wow, seems a bit extreme of a measure just to avoid someone..." Bob shrugged again. "Whatever floats your boat, I guess!"

Anger slowly boiled within Blah's core. "I never said I did it to avoid you specifically, or that I even had any choice, for that matter... But it's a long, unimportant story. One that you have no business with. What I want to know is why you're looking for me all of a sudden."

"Isn't it obvious?" Bob sneered. "I'm looking for a rematch! I went through some training, tweaked my team a bit, and now I'm ready to really show you who's boss!" Bob chuckled darkly. "And don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're a girl now... apparently..."

Blah ignored that last comment in order to ask one burning question. "In that case, would you mind introducing us to your new team member here?"

"Hah, gladly!" Bob gave the Kadabra a flourish. "Introducing, the elusive and gifted Seraphina!"

Hearing that name was a shock to everyone, Blah included. It was just as he had feared. This Kadabra was indeed Seraphina, evolved and in Bob's possession.

She had a piercing stare, one that didn't suit her in the slightest, directed at Blah in particular, as if he had murdered someone very close to her.

"Sera..." Blah addressed. "Surely, you remember me...?"

"I remember you far too well, Blahsadfeguie." Sera's eyes were unblinking, fixated on her former ally. "How you abandoned me, leaving me defenseless at the mercy of Charge... but Bob showed me compassion."

"Huh...?" Blah couldn't quite grasp what had happened. If Sera was here, it meant that she was the one who had to wait a month after that trip back to the alpha timeline... what had Charge done to her?

Bob chuckled again, interrupting Blah's thoughts. "It's ok, I understand you don't know what compassion is. But that's not going to matter after this fight."

"...D-do we HAVE to fight them right now?" Hail complained, taking a step away from the intimidating Seraphina.

Before anyone could respond, Bob cut in. "Hold on, I never said anything about fighting all of YOU. It's Blah and only Blah I want my revenge on! Now let's get started already!" Bob tossed his remaining 5 Pokeballs, one by one, until he was surrounded by Pokemon. His team was roughly the same as his previous team: the Butterfree, the Typhlosion, and the Ampharos were here, and it looked like two of his Pokemon evolved into Togekiss and Floatzel. His Gallade, likely having learned his lesson from the previous battle, was absent. Bob's team stared down the heroes, eagerly awaiting their first commands.

"This is hardly fair..." Astra stated. "Six against one? Not to mention, Blah doesn't have his signature weapons with him."

Astra's words caught Blah by surprise. She was right, he had almost forgotten about his backpack with all of his equipment... How was he expected to fight without any weapons? He did get by against Knuckles all that time ago, but he was about to go up against Pokemon, and six at once...

"I don't blame you for not knowing, because you weren't there," Bob refuted, "but our last battle was actually six against two. So... I'll allow him one partner in this rematch."

"Just one...?" Blah looked between the rest of his current party. Who could possibly give him the best chance in this battle?

Dr. Eggman stepped forward, clearing his throat. "Pardon me, rainbow hair," he confidently jeered, "but don't you think that your victory would be worth even more if you fought against all of us at once, instead of ganging up on two people like a coward?" Bob's eyes widened in realization. "Of course, we'll understand if you're too afraid..."

"A-afraid? Of course not!" Bob was now just as angry as Blah as he desperately worked to maintain his tough image. "We're prepared to take on a dozen fighters at once without breaking a sweat." Some of his team exchanged nervous glances in the wake of their leader's determination, but they weren't about to let him down.

Blah was impressed. Eggman knew how to get straight to his enemies' heads. "That's more like it..." he remarked. "But before we start... you wouldn't happen to have any long blunt objects laying around, would you?"

Eggman thought for a moment, running through the blueprints of his Egg-Desperado in his mind. "I think I know just the thing." He rushed inside, and emerged seconds later with a massive wrench. It was solid stainless steel, about 3 feet long. "I use this masterpiece for those pesky hard-to-reach bolts. I'm sure it'll do a number on pesky hot-headed youngsters as well." He smiled a classically evil Robotnik smile.

Blah gladly took the wrench, noting that it was surprisingly dense, balanced, and symmetrical. Almost as if it was designed as a weapon. It certainly felt like a hammer in his hands, and countless battles' worth of combat experience returned to him in an instant simply from the feel of the weapon.

"This is perfect," Blah said, entering a fighting pose. "Everyone, ready!"

Hailstorm took to the air, whipping out his crossbow. Astra drew her scythe and pointed it at Bob's team. Beats brandished two vinyl records with a smooth motion. As Dr. Eggman hopped back into his jet, Blah noticed that his crew seemed to be one member short.

His suspicions were confirmed when the jet transformed, exposing the cowardly purple dragon. Still wanting to do with this, all he could manage was a frightened squeak as he repositioned himself behind the mech's leg.

"...Oh," Blah voiced. He had completely forgotten about Spike. "Somebody get Spike to safety, he's by no means a fighter."

Beats broke formation momentarily to carry out Blah's request. "Come on buddy, follow me," he beckoned. "You'll be safe far in this tree."

Something about Beats's rhyme comforted Spike just enough to coax him out of his current hiding spot, and he climbed hastily up the tree that the beet indicated, a good distance away from the makeshift battlefield.

"Heh, so you're outnumbered after all..." Bob contemplated pompously. "Not even a giant hunk of scrap metal like that can save you against the power of teamwork! Not like you know what that is. You're just a hateful villain who can't make any friends of his own, so he has to build some..." Bob was on a roll, proudly taking an early revenge against Eggman. "Whatever arbitrary reason you decided to side with these guys, you're just going to end up abandoning them when you don't need them anymore... leaving you to jealously play with your toys, alone in a corner, wondering where it all went wrong."

The residual heat coming off that burn was enough to make even Blah sweat. A moment of silence passed as the mech pilot let it sink in.

"Oh hoh hoh hoh..." he laughed darkly. "You must have an iron gut to think you could get away with saying something like that to ME, Dr. Ivo Robotnik!" He pressed a button and flipped a switch, unveiling an impressive reserve of missiles and gun barrels.

"Where did he find the time to reload those...?" muttered Hailstorm.

Blah tried his best to drown out the banter between Eggman and Bob, focusing on the battle ahead. Not only was he fighting an old foe seeking revenge, but that foe somehow got an equally vengeful Seraphina on his side... evolved, and likely several times more deadly than the prodigy of an Abra that Blah originally met. What could have happened for her to suddenly disregard their previous relations?

Before he could ponder this question any further, Eggman had already begun the charge. It seemed he would have to take a hands-on approach...

Can I just say that this has been one of my favorite chapters to write so far? In case you forgot, yes, the protagonist is still me, and I do think Discord is awesome :L.

Coincidentally, this is also the longest chapter in the story so far. I didn't even notice! And now I'm only adding to its word count by extending this author's note. Does anyone even read those? Whatever, I write what I want! Insert smug goofy smily here.