Title: Before my core is dry
Author: JoeHundredaire
Rating: PG-13/FR15
Disclaimer: Captain Fangirlhumper… err, J.K. Rowling owns the world the Harry Potter series takes place in. Wish the characters were mine so I could do utterly retarded things to them and watch my bank account get steadily larger, but sadly not mine. Kill La Kill, Ryūko Matoi, Satsuki Kiryūin, and all related characters and concepts are the property of Studio Trigger. Not mine, don't sue, and so forth and so on.
Summary: "It still had windows, if that's what you mean. Other than that… Ryūko's right. It is kind of a dump, at least compared to Honnōji Academy and even Honnō City. But even if this place is an antiquated dump, it's my dump and so I'm going to save it."
Joe's Note: While this will be the final installment - at least as far as I currently have planned - in my series of misadventures for Luna, this is actually one of the first ideas that I came up with. It just took me a while to sort out the 'how' and 'why' to a degree that I was happy with a story outline, and then obviously time to flesh it out into an actual story. Given that we know someone who makes a light up Ragyō wig, someone who makes kamui, and someone who cosplays Luna… I feel like this could become a thing at a convention at some point? If it does, I'll definitely take and post a bunch of pictures.
Dedications & Thanks: To Nicholas, Alexander, Howard, Daniel, Christopher, Luke, Zachary, Marc, Ziryo, Elliot, Crusifikz70, Timothy, Leigh, Jason, Chris, George, Koby, Ken, MJ, Thyatira, William, Wil, Invernos, Jack, Pat, Warren, Chris, Mitch, and Jess for sponsoring me on , and making it easier for me to spend more of my time writing.

"Stop."

Based on the way that Rubeus Hagrid lurched to a stop, Harry Potter was reasonably sure that the half-giant's compliance was magically-induced. And then a chill settled over them where they stood, forcing Harry to breathe even more carefully than he had been before as the dementors patrolling the outer trees sent the air temperature plummeting. They no longer affected him - the fact that he'd survived death burned inside him, serving as an even more effective protection than the patronus of his father's stag form - but that didn't mean they couldn't expose his deception.

Someone passed by Harry so close that a robe brushed against his face, and he realized that it was Voldemort himself a moment later when the man spoke, his voice magically magnified so that it rolled across the castle grounds, crashing upon Harry's eardrums. "Harry Potter is dead. He was killed as he ran away, trying to save himself while you lay down your lives for him. We bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone. The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you and the Boy-Who-Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist - man, woman or child - will be slaughtered, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle, now. Kneel before me and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build together." Silence reigned, and Voldemort was so close to him that Harry didn't dare open his eyes again. "Very well. Come." Voldemort continued on ahead, forcing Hagrid to follow behind him. With a bit more distance between him and his foe, Harry risked opening his eyes a fraction. Voldemort was striding on ahead of him, wearing the great snake Nagini around his shoulders. But there was no way that he could draw his wand without being noticed by the Death Eaters who marched on either side of Hagrid across the slowly lightening lawn.

"Harry." His breath hitching, Hagrid sobbed deeply, sending great tears of grief falling to splatter against Harry's skin. "Oh, Harry… Harry…"

Unable to do anything and not wanting to risk discovery, Harry shut his eyes tight again. He knew that they were approaching the castle and strained his ears to distinguish - above the gleeful voices of the Death Eaters and their tramping footsteps - signs of life from those within. "Stop." The Death Eaters ceased their forward advance at Voldemort's command, and then Harry heard them spreading out in a line facing the open front doors of the school. Even through his closed lids, he could see the bright glow of light streaming out of the Entrance Hall and falling upon them. He waited. Any moment, the people for whom he'd tried to die would see him in Hagrid's arms, supposedly dead.

"No!"

The scream was all the more terrible because he had never expected or dreamed that Professor McGonagall could make such a sound; Harry heard another woman laughing nearby and knew that Bellatrix Lestrange gloried in McGonagall's despair. He squinted again for a single second and saw the open doorway filling with people, as the survivors of the battle came out on to the front steps to face their vanquishers and see the truth of Harry's death for themselves. Voldemort remained directly in front of him, reaching up to stroke Nagini's head with a long white finger. Still unable to act, Harry let his eyes drift closed once more as the shouts of his friends washed over him.

"No!"

"No!"

"Harry! Harry!"

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny's heartbroken voices were even worse to hear than McGonagall's; Harry wanted nothing more than to shout back to them, let them know that he was okay and that not all was lost. Yet he forced himself to lay there silently in Hagrid's arms, waiting for the perfect moment. His friends' cries acted like a trigger, the crowd of survivors from the first battle finding their voices, screaming and yelling abuse at the Death Eaters until… "Silence!" Voldemort's shout was accompanied by a bang and a flash of light so bright that it penetrated Harry's closed eyes, and then the world around them went silent. A mass Silencing Charm. His opponent was powerful… increasingly close to being defeatable, but powerful to be sure. "It is over! Set him down, Hagrid, at my feet, where he belongs!" With a muffled cry, Hagrid obeyed and Harry felt himself lowered onto the grass of the castle grounds. "You see?" Like the great dramatic ponce that he was, Voldemort began pacing back and forth beside Harry's prone body. "Harry Potter is dead! Do you understand now, deluded ones? He was nothing, ever, but a boy who relied on others to sacrifice themselves for him!"

There was a long few seconds of silence, and then a familiar voice called out. "He beat you!" Harry fought to keep his face impassive at the sound of Ron Weasley's voice, and at the shouts and screams that followed from the defenders of Hogwarts until a second, more powerful bang extinguished their voices once more.

"He was killed while trying to sneak out of the castle grounds, killed while trying to save himself…" Voldemort sounded gleeful as the lie slipped from his lips, only to shift to incredulous as he uttered the last few syllables before trailing off. Harry heard a scuffle and a shout, then came a third bang and a flash of light followed by a grunt of pain. Harry opened his eyes an infinitesimal amount, just enough to see that someone had broken free of the crowd and charged at Voldemort. They stood in front of the man defiantly even as someone on Voldemort's side of the battle lines crumpled to the ground. Had they deflected his curse, then? What was going on? God, Harry wished he could give up his ruse… "And who is this? Who has volunteered to demonstrate what happens to those who continue to fight when the battle is lost and the war is over? Who dares to defy me?"

Bellatrix gave a delighted laugh that sent shivers down Harry's spine. "It's Luna Lovegood, my Lord! We sought to capture her so that we could gain leverage over her father, but nobody could find her. The little coward has returned, it appears, from wherever she ran off to."

That announcement more than anything tested Harry's control. Luna was back? She'd been missing since some point early the past summer; she'd RSVP'd to Bill and Fleur's wedding but failed to show. While the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army alike had been occupied with more important tasks, both had put out feelers on Harry's behalf. All had come up empty. It was as if the little blonde Ravenclaw had fallen off the face of the earth… and yet now here she was, back in the thick of things. How? Why? And most importantly… what made her think facing off with Voldemort was a good idea? Where was Neville? What had happened to their plan?

"I used to fear you, you know. When I was a child. Then I visited Tokyo. Met Ragyō Kiryūin. Was tortured and infused with Life Fibers as a part of her mad plans. Communed with the Primordial Life Fiber. Now I know what true evil is. Now I know what to fear. You?" Stepping forward, Luna shook her head as she slowly closed the distance between herself and Voldemort. "You are an irritant. You are a pest. So I've come back to exterminate you and yours, like you should any troublesome infestation. And I've brought my new sisters with me to help."

Unlike when Luna had shoved her way forward, the crowd formed by Hogwarts's defenders parted willingly this time, allowing two more girls to advance unimpeded and join Luna. With all attention thoroughly diverted from him by their defiant display, Harry took a moment to slip under his Invisibility Cloak before hopping to his feet so he could get a better view. The newcomers were… definitely sisters. Luna's sisters, on the other hand? Not likely. If nothing else, the fact that they were quite obviously Asian debunked that claim. The girl standing to Luna's left was the younger and shorter of the two, with a bright red streak in her short black hair. Clad in an odd navy and red outfit while wielding what appeared to be two halves of an oversized pair of red scissors, she was definitely not someone that Harry would have wanted to cross. Neither was the longer-haired older sister, who surveyed the battlefield-to-be imperiously from her position at Luna's right side, a black-bladed short sword in one hand and a dagger in the other as her white dress rustled softly in the wind. "This is where you used to go to school? God. What a dump."

"We're here to help them, Ryūko, not insult them."

"It's not an insult if it's true, Satsuki. This place is a mess."

"I'm sure it was nicer before the war broke out."

"It still had windows, if that's what you mean. Other than that… Ryūko's right. It is kind of a dump, at least compared to Honnōji Academy and even Honnō City. But even if this place is an antiquated dump, it's my dump and so I'm going to save it." Luna drew herself up, the lapels of her black vest coming alive as a pair of yellow and orange eyes glared out at the world angrily. Then her hair erupted with rainbow light, casting a multicolored glow on the pale skin of her face as she grinned widely. "And I'm going to use every power at my disposal to do that. Let's go, Maketsu!"

In perfect synch, Luna reached up to stab two fingers against the odd bracer that ran along the top of her left arm even as Ryūko bit at the bracelet on her left wrist so she could pull a piece free and Satsuki slid the fingers of her right hand up her left arm, nimbly closing three blue clasps. The trio erupted with light…

"Life Fiber Synchronize, Kamui Senketsu!"

"Life Fiber Override, Kamui Junketsu!"

"Life Fiber Harmonize, Kamui Maketsu!"

…and then dimmed to reveal three girls in outfits that made Harry blush. They were terrifying, to be sure, but also very revealing. Without any regard for her near-nudity, though, Luna lashed out with a kick that sent Voldemort flying back into the crowd of Death Eaters even as Satsuki went airborne with a shout of 'Junketsu Senpū!' and Ryūko neatly decapitated Bellatrix with one slash of the slightly larger scissor… blade… contraption in her right hand. Wow. Luna really wasn't kidding about taking back Hogwarts by force, was she? Silver eyes met his unerringly and then Luna made a beckoning gesture, repeating it until Harry shrugged off the hood of his cloak and approached her. "Satsuki has the dementors. Ryūko will take care of the giants and then join Satsuki to take care of the acromantula. Leave the Death Eaters to your friends. We'll take Voldemort."

Harry opened his mouth to protest - they had a plan, it was a good plan, they just needed to execute his plan and Voldemort would be defeated forever - and then one of the giants let out a roar. Jumping, Harry spun around just in time to watch Satsuki flit past the giant's head in a streak of blue light… and then the giant tipped sideways, his massive head parting from his neck and hitting the ground a few seconds before the rest of his corpse. "Looks like Satsuki has at least one of the giants… but yeah. Sounds good to me. Good plan. Let's do this."

"I thought you'd like it. Maketsu Tanken!" Thrusting her fists forward, Luna generated a set of vicious-looking white claws from between the knuckles of her black-clad fists before stalking off in pursuit of Voldemort. From out of nowhere came Nagini, the great serpent lunging at the girl who had assaulted her master with fangs bared. Luna was utterly nonplussed, absentmindedly swinging her right arm in an arc and carving the snake into three pieces with her new claws. "You have to kill him, right? That's the prophecy?"

Shooting a glance back over his shoulder as the pieces of Nagini splattered against the ground, Harry nodded absently. "More or less, yeah."

"Does it specify that you can't have help killing him?"

"No."

"Oh goody. I was hoping you'd say that." Luna's grin turned vicious and Harry followed her gaze, spotting Voldemort limping toward them with his wand in one hand and the other clutching his chest. "Evidently he had my father killed. I say evidently because I haven't had time to properly investigate. That's what I've heard, though. So I was planning on killing him and making it hurt. If I can't kill him? I can still make him hurt and then let you kill him. If you don't mind, that is?"

Without waiting for him to respond, Luna threw herself forward and stabbed Voldemort in the stomach with all four of her claws. The scream that emerged from the man was different from the one that Harry had heard when Nagini had died: full of pain and indignation instead of rage and hatred. Pulling back, she retracted the claws on her right hand long enough to punch him twice in the face, and then extended them again just in time to catch a whip made of fire to the side. What should have been a damaging if not fatal stab to the chest went wide to the left as her entire body was rocked by the blow, and Voldemort fired a Banishing Charm into Luna at point black range for good measure. Harry gulped as Voldemort's scarlet eyes landed on him, widening for a moment before narrowing in hatred. "I guess this is still technically part of the plan…"

Unlike the practice duels he'd been a part of while training with Dumbledore's Army, there were no courtesies observed or spells shouted. One moment, they were staring each other down. The next, Voldemort was lashing out with a sickly yellow spell… that was deflected off to the side as Ryūko dove past him, using one of her blades to bat the spell away like they were playing ball. It hit a Death Eater in the back and he went down screaming in pain. Not the Cruciatus but definitely nothing Harry was in a hurry to experience himself. Taking up a defensive stance in front of him, the girl shot a glare back over her shoulder. "Can you please try a little harder to stay alive? I don't want to have dragged my ass out here for nothing."

Harry growled as the girl batted away two more curses, slipping into place beside her and hurling a hex of his own at Voldemort. "I could have handled that. All three of those. I'm perfectly capable of casting shields when I need one; I don't need you to protect me."

"Fine then. Have fun trying not to die." Twirling in front of Harry as she deflected another curse, Ryūko thrust her blades out to either side and triggered… something… that caused them to unfurl, doubling in length and impaling a pair of Death Eaters who had been rushing to their master's aid. "I'm gonna go stab those giants to death, and then slice up some spiders."

"You do that. Because I can handle this without your help." Harry shuddered as Ryūko flicked her blades downward and then back up, bisecting the impaled Death Eaters and freeing her weapons. Then she mimicked her sister's earlier feat, shooting up into the air with a shout of 'Senketsu Shippu' as her outfit shapeshifted to have jet… leg… things. Rather than resume their battle, both Harry and Voldemort opted to track her progress as she raced toward a giant who seemed perilously close to overpowering poor Grawp. Perilously close became not at all capable as Ryūko reached her target, spinning her newly lengthened blades through the air and separating both of the giant's arms from his torso. Coasting to a stop, she shouted something at Grawp that caused the runty giant to guffaw loudly before going to work on the disarmed giant's face with both massive fists, Ryūko jetting off in search of new prey. Turning back to Voldemort, Harry nodded in the girl's direction. "Getting rid of her was probably a bad idea, huh?"

Chuckling lowly, Voldemort raised his wand as he prepared to hurl a new barrage of spells Harry's way… only to get knocked on his ass as a jet-propelled Luna slammed into him.

Okay, maybe he was fine without Ryūko.

Also, he was surrounded by some scary girls these days.

A black-hilted dagger went flying past his head close enough to ruffle his hair, Luna catching it without even looking and diving forward to plunge it into Voldemort's right shoulder. In the middle of attempting to rise to his feet, Voldemort let out a scream as he collapsed back to the ground; before he even hit the grass, Luna had absently flipped the dagger up into the air so that Satsuki could snatch it as she flew past on her way to the next cluster of dementors.

Make that very scary girls.