A/N: I'll be going to work soon, but I decided to review this chapter before I leave, since I have some time.
Yep! Now Vincent knows, and there's a mess of demons showing up for no real reason. Well… maybe there is a reason, but it won't be solved as quickly as Clara would like it to be. Anyways, I hope you guys are ENJOYING the story. Maybe I'll post another chapter… but it probably won't happen until, at the very least, tomorrow or maybe after my shifts are over. Considering Easter is now over, it's the usual steady, slow flow of customers. So, hopefully, I won't have to deal with a lot of stress. ENJOY the rest of you week, guys!
! #$%^&*())(*&^%$# !
"Is… all of that really going to happen? The… apocalypse? The end?" you heard Vincent ask, and you could tell his butler was also unnerved by this revelation.
But all you could do is smile meekly in response.
"I should be dead, right now," you decided to say, but as you noticed Vincent shaking his head, about to utter something, you continued, "but… Undertaker found me. Healed me from the wounds I had… and… I… was given another chance," you smiled meekly, but then your eyes stared at the ring, glaring at it as if it was the bane of your existence, "but now… it's no longer possible to pretend that nothing has been happening. That everything is alright.
"I had this fear, at first, that the ones that ended up being thrown back in time would end up messing up time… and could… start planning an early end of days, planning on starting the rapture and all that crap. I-I just… pretended it wasn't happening. For the longest time," you sighed, your head plopping down on your hands as you leaned into the table, losing your composure as you sighed tiredly, once more, "I just… accepted. I accepted that… that I cannot go back home. This has to be my home, now. I need to make a life here in Victorian England. If not here, somewhere.
"And maybe it was my chance to be human, again. I lost my humanity so long ago… I-it was weird, to lose my heightened senses. Lose what… I grew to develop, over the years. I was surprised that my Phantomhive ring hadn't returned to me. Maybe there could only be only one, I kept telling myself, but…" you frowned, glaring at the ring as you continued, "I cannot continue to sit by and let innocence get killed and destroyed by the evil that is out there. I cannot just accept that the world is okay, because it ain't. It ain't okay… If I just… let this all happen all over again… I'd be just as terrible as any other demon out there.
"I tried to get the reapers to start doing stuff. Maybe, preparing early or, at the very least, start having conversations. Changing their ways. Being a bit better at their jobs, but… nothing," you scoffed in disgust. "They're ignoring the problem, and now, so have I…
"… I guess what I'm trying to get at," you continued, your eyes staring at the ring rather then at the people who were listening to you, as you scoffed tiredly, "is that… this is my problem. It truly is. If the reapers won't take this seriously, and the angels won't be helpful, I need to do something. The thing with this… New Jerusalem group is that… this is a warning. A threat. They're tempting me to go out and confront them, "you scoffed in annoyance, "and… they're taunting me.
"Vincent, if you finish this case, they'll kidnap you, maybe even kill you, but more importantly they're going to use you as leverage to get to me. They could end up kidnapping your family, our family… they will stop at nothing to get to me –"
"Why, though?" he scoffed, your head moving to look at him, just slightly, as he continued with a disgusted huff leaving his breath. "You're just a girl. A Phantomhive, sure, but if you're just a human then why would they bother you like this?"
"… What the reapers didn't understand," you continued in a meek tone, "is that… while they attempted to create the perfect reaper that could take down the devils, stop the war, and stop the apocalypse… what they were really doing is starting it," you decided to say, pausing for a moment before you scoffed, suddenly sitting up properly to glare in his general direction. "It was absurd. Obviously, certain beings wanted it to happen. That's why no one is doing a damn thing to stop it! The council, their god damned council, is corrupt as shit! Of course, the underlings are being kept out of the dark about this, but if I'm not careful, they are not careful… everything is going to start centuries too early. I cannot let that happen," you scoffed in disgust, "and, I do not want them to try to birth a bunch of children like me, ever again. I had to go through so much pain and torment before I got the truth, and even then, it hurts. The pain is still there… I don't want another child to suffer like me, just because they're desperate for a solution," you told him, pausing before you looked back to Vincent, looking him in the eyes before you sighed, tiredly.
"What they want from me… is for me to turn back into that powerhouse I used to be. The one that could level entire buildings with a single energy swipe and slaughter millions in the span of seconds. What they want is to control me, and in this form I'm in now, they could capture me, then force me into becoming that… thing I always hated," you scoffed, but then paused, your eyes looking away mostly out of regret, "but… then again… it was all necessary a-and… I tried so hard to not be that monster… I just let it happen," you stated, suddenly brushing away a stray tear before you looked back at him, as seriously as you could muster. "There's a lot a simple human cannot understand. I could try to explain everything, but even then, it'd be difficult.
"Let's just say that what the council did in a desperate attempt to have strong children… well, what they wanted was for the personification of Death to reemerge in a child," you told them, specifically at Vincent. "My human bloodline had that strength to pull off any sort of transformation, and my reaper blood is inclined to be entranced by Death, already. My half brother… he failed my father," you continued in a sad tone, "and so, I was created. Considering my mother was already curious about the dead, it wasn't too hard to have sex with her, then have me. I didn't even know about all this crap until I was about eight, and even now I cannot possibly understand the point to this.
"… Do you know… how, in the Book of Revelation, there are four horsemen of the apocalypse? There are a lot of ways to interpret that book, but… while it was a dream, it also wasn't a dream. It shows the present, the past, and the future all at once.
"The thing I'm getting at is… the four horsemen are four different sides of Death itself. It's more of a… personification then it is an actual living, breathing entity. Pagans would call Death a god, but… it's not quite that either. It just… something that exists. Like Life, like Light and Dark, Good and Evil. All of that. It's just there.
"And the book says that when all four come, the apocalypse will happen. The end of days will be here. Doomsday. The end of the world, all of that… but strangely enough, each horseman has a mix of both good and bad. Life and Death. That's not something the reapers could fully understand. They just understood that they needed half grim reaper, half human babies to make it happen… and, amongst other problems… it was just inevitable," you sighed, closing your eyes tightly before you shook your head and scoffed, "and stupid. Honestly stupid. Whoever thought it was a good idea should drop dead, right here and now. All of that triggered the apocalypse because they had the four, at the same time. Four children, humans willingly becoming grim reapers, in one way or another, and that's what started everything. And while we fought to stop it…
"I lost a lot, Vincent," you scoffed, "and… I-I don't know if it'll just happen, even if I do nothing. Even if I do something. Time travel… it's not an easy thing to wrap your mind around. Trust me. I-I don't know if this is some other timeline, if I just need to accept that my universe got destroyed and my actions will stop the apocalypse… or if I trigger it, because I do things in attempt to stop it. It's beyond my understanding," you huffed, "and sadly, that's just something I have to accept, these days.
"The point I'm trying to make is… I guess… I was hoping I wouldn't have to get involved, but it seems like, to me, I may just have to," you pouted, reaching and grabbing your ring as you stared at it with an irritated glare. "… The Phantomhives are cursed, Vincent. Whether you wish to admit that to yourself or not. In one way, in another way. In many ways, from our own doing and just by fate, we are just cursed. It just… sucks… but I am a Phantomhive," you continued, picking off a piece of dried flesh from your ring before scoffing underneath your breath, "and while I am not bound to anything, no loyalty to a god or a queen or anything, I cannot… just let this happen," you sighed, shaking your head as you slowly set the ring down upon the table, but now it was in front of you instead of in the center of the table. "I don't want you to be involved because I don't know if it'll change fate. If you'll end up dead too early. If something gets too messed up.
"Just… you need to let me handle this. That's what I want to say. That's why I told you everything… I want to see you happy," you continued in a sad, meek tone, and you gave him a meek smile in return. "I want your family to be happy. For however long that'll be, you need to enjoy your family. Your wife, children, everything. Cause, it never lasts. Not for us Phantomhives… just… please. I know you have a buttload of reasons to why you need to help me, but please… don't. If you know what's good for you," you finished, waiting for an answer.
And you heard him scoff.
"Seriously? The point is to deter me? Clara, I do have an order from the Queen and –"
"Doesn't matter. I'll even tell you what happens, let you see the scene of the crime, but I won't let you get directly involved. No. I cannot allow it," you huffed, holding up a hand before he could continue. "No."
"… I won't let you go alone," Vincent spoke, softly, hesitantly, and all you could do is let out a huffy snort. "I'm being serious. It's dangerous. Not just because you're a woman. I know the strength of women, understand that. J-just… you need to be happy too. I wouldn't be doing all of this, being a Watchdog, if I didn't believe that my work was benefiting others that deserve it," he decided to say, your eyes staring at him happily, though also sadly at his own conviction. "I get rid of the bad, live amongst the evils of the world, so the good people out there can have happy, fulfilling lives. How can I accept you doing any of this, if I cannot help? At least let me help, Clara."
"… No –"
"Lara! –"
"Don't be a whiny brat," you scoffed in irritation. "When I say no, accept that. I've acted sweet and proper and whatever, and I've tried my best to be, well, human, but no. I don't care what you want, Vincent. I need you to be safe –"
"And let me guess, you won't, at the very least, let Undertaker go with you?" he spat out, and as he noticed that you were sitting there, staring at him with a tired, hurt look on your face, he huffed. "… Just as I thought. You cannot push people away like this, Clara. You're going to end up alone and dead before you reach –"
"I was supposed to be dead by now! Hell, I was supposed to be dead by the time I reached my twenties! I was ready to be a martyr! Do not, do not tell me that! Don't you think I know that?" you began to sniffle, noticing you had stood to your feet in your rage, and your sudden burst of anger shocked Vincent, and even Tanaka, but you didn't care. Your hands gripped into fists upon the table, as you tightly closed your eyelids in an attempt to stop your tears. "I push people away to protect them. I'm a fucking walking curse, and I know that. If I can just… not mess up, for once, just… I'm tired of being weak," you decided to say, opening your eyes as you began to wipe your tears away, exhaling in an attempt to calm yourself.
Just… stay calm. You need to stay calm and not freak out too much.
You don't want your asthma from flaring up, again, and if you're bedridden… Vincent will just get himself killed.
You know it.
You just do.
"I'm tired of reapers thinking that I'm just better off as a human. Maybe I'm not, okay? A-and I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay, cause it ain't. it ain't okay… A-and I just… won't accept you throwing your life away. I don't care if I do. In fact, living on the edge has always kept me going. I don't dwell on too many dark thoughts, too often," you scoffed, sniffing and rubbing at your face to stop your tears. "I don't know how many times I have to say this. No. No, you cannot come with me. And no, I will not accept it if you do show up, unexpectedly. I won't. How dare you think I'm okay with you doing this," you huffed, but you flinched as you felt arms around you, staring up wide eyed only to narrow your eyes in raw anger. "How long have you been listening?!"
"Well… the part where you both wanted to kill yourselves," Undertaker smirked, snickering at the grumbling noises you made, but you let him slump his head on top of yours, glancing over at the two other humans, who stared at him, probably shocked that he showed up almost out of thin air, before Vincent huffed in response.
"How can you just let Clara do this to herself? –"
"I don't like this anymore then you, boy," he began, but you flinched, mainly out of confusion then shock as he kissed the side of your head, "but… I promised to be supportive… and I never stop a human when it comes to their choices. I lost my ability to choose a very long time ago… but I'm going to have to say that you need to bring someone –"
"Right, right. Back to that again. No," you stated bluntly, only to feel your body being moved around so Undertaker was facing you, smiling lightly at you, only for your eyes to glare up at him and a low snarl to leave your breath. "Undertaker –"
"I also told you that I'd have your back. Do you believe that I cannot be helpful to you? Is that it? I can show you, if you truly believe that I cannot take down a few pesky demons –"
"T-that's not it –"
"And if you fear that I'll die, I don't care. I died a very long time ago –"
"That's not it either! I don't want to lose you," you stated, gasping as he hugged you tightly, only for an annoyed huff to leave your breath. "… Don't read too much into that."
"I will~" he snickered, before he gently let you go, only to run his long hand over the side of your cheek, and you began to look away. Noticing your sad stare, he could only let out a tired huff in response. "… I don't think Vincent should go –"
"Hey! –"
"But… I won't let you walk to your inevitable demise alone. I'm not willing to lose you, either," he stated, only to stare at you sadly as you looked at him, close to breaking down into tears, again.
"I-it's just… w-what if… you hate what I am?" you had to state, only to see the man smirk widely in response.
"Hey now. I'll love whatever you are. Whoever you are. You just need to accept yourself, Clara," he told you, and you let out a shaky sigh. "… Please. Please say yes," he continued, frowning as you backed away, slightly, only to turn around and grab your family ring, looking at it with distain.
But your irritation over the situation became a soft numbing feeling, and you sighed. "… There are so rules if you go," you decided to say, only to feel his arms wrapping around you, again.
"Great! I'll do whatever you wish!" he giggled, causing you to blush madly, and noticing the amused look on Tanaka's face, and the slight blush on Vincent's own face, you put your hands to your face and let out a whimpering groan.
"Stoooop~"
"Nope. Never," Undertaker snickered, playfully poking the side of your cheek before he turned to the other humans, giving Vincent, in particular, a light smile. "We'll take it from here, dear earl."
"… If you're sure –"
"I am. I don't make promises I cannot keep," he stated, only for Vincent to scoff.
"I'll be in the city. Come by the townhouse once you're done, and tell me what happened," Vincent stated, only for his gaze to turn to you. "… Are you serious? Do you know what you're doing?"
"I never know what I'm doing," you smirked in response, only to hear the man scoff, but you chuckled lightly to yourself. "Vincent, just breathe. Just give us tonight."
"Tonight?" you heard Undertaker ask, but you turned your head to give the man a slight smirk.
"Yes. I know exactly how to find them. Where they are… but can I really trust you?" you decided to say, only for the man to give you a light smile in return.
"Of course, love. Anything, for you."
"You're not just saying that because I'm like Claudia, right?" you huffed in irritation, only to feel the man pat you on the head.
"No. You're completely improper, compared to that countess."
"H-hey! –"
"Vincent," Undertaker spoke, causing the Phantomhive to sigh lightly, only to give the man a slight nod in return.
"Hmm… you two enjoy your evening, and I'll pay for any damages."
"Don't worry about it," you told him, only for the man to give you a meek smile.
"Yes… stay safe, Clara. Undertaker."
"You too, Vincent… Tanaka-sensei," you decided to say, the man giving you a light smile and a nod before he grabbed his lord's coat, effortlessly placing it upon his shoulders.