Chapter 50: Defusing the Drama Bomb
"So what is it with that Discord guy, anyway?" Broshi leaned on one of the railings around the control center of the TARDIS as Tom Nook calmly piloted it. "Not wanting to demonstrate his powers, then hurrying the meeting along... The way he talked, it sounded like he was hiding from someone."
"I'm not sure," Tom answered. "All I know is that he contacted me shortly after I arrived in this universe. He told me everything I know about this universe as well, including who will be playing in its SBURB session and how to ensure that they all enter in due time. And, of course, we set up the meeting that we just had."
Spike sat up suddenly. "Oh, I can't believe I didn't think about it before, but... I thought the Elements of Harmony were supposed to be watching him..."
"The what of who?" Broshi questioned.
"Six ponies who each wield one of the... well, the Elements of Harmony!" Spike replied enthusiastically. "They're all about the magic of friendship. Let's see, there's Kindness, Laughter, Loyalty, Honesty, and of course, Generosity..." He paused for a moment, staring wistfully off into space in the memory of a certain white unicorn. "Put them all together and you get Magic!"
"Hah, figures that the ponies would have some kind of magical friendship powers," Broshi laughed. "And I didn't think Ponyville could be any more childish. It's like... the perfect setting for a pop-up book."
Spike was visibly offended by this, but Nook spoke before he could retaliate. "That's an ironic thing for a Yoshi to say," he pointed out. "Three words: 'Super Happy Tree'. Hoho!"
Nook and Spike shared a good laugh at that. "Super Happy Tree?" Spike repeated. "What does that grow, smiling fruit?"
Broshi groaned. He had a feeling that thing would be used against him at some point. "So what if it does? I think we have more important things to talk about." He waited for the dragon and raccoon's laughter to die down. "Now, you were saying Discord was supposed to be under someone's watch?"
"Yeah, he once threw all of Equestria into chaos... it took all of the Elements to seal him away. We had to free him again so that he could give Blah that screwdriver, but only under the Elements' supervision." Spike's worry manifested as a chill running slowly down his spine. "So... if we found him alone... and he looked like he was hiding..."
"This sounds like the kind of thing you should have picked up on earlier," scolded Broshi.
"Hey, I was distracted by Discord being there in the first place..." Spike defended. "And it's not like we could've done anything about it anyway. ...or could we?" He began to form an idea in a fit of desperation. "Can't we, like, go back in time or something and warn somepony?"
"Wow, he even said 'somepony'..." muttered Broshi.
"We could," Nook responded, "But I'm afraid that doing so will drive us into a doomed timeline. Time is a fragile thing, you know! Whatever happens happens, but just remember that in the end, it will all have been worth it."
"Well... I sure hope so," said Spike. "...how do you know when you're in a doomed timeline?"
"Everyone starts dying," Broshi stated bluntly. "In the timeline Charge sent us from, everyone on Earth died except for Blah and Tails."
"...yes, that is correct," Nook affirmed, "although I would have worded it differently..."
"So as long as everyone's still alive, we're ok?" Spike asked.
Tom Nook said nothing. He simply worked the controls of the TARDIS, prompting the familiar grinding noise as it came to a halt. "We're here."
Knight and Seraphina arrived back at the Canterlot sculpture garden, both of them still somewhat disgruntled. They immediately noticed that Discord was gone, and that only Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack were still on the scene. Twilight ceased her pacing back and forth as soon as she noticed the Kadabra and the fox.
"Sera, thank goodness you're back," she greeted, running up to her with the other two mares close behind. "How did it go?"
"I have no time to explain," Sera said tersely. "Our friend here will fill you in on the details. I must be going."
"Hey, wai-" Twilight attempted to stop her, but she had already disappeared. Twilight sighed. "Ok then..." She turned to Knight. "Tails, I presume?"
'I'll handle this, if you don't mind,' Tails told Blah inside his head.
'Fine by me,' allowed Blah. 'I could use an excuse to kick back and watch for a bit.'
"Yes and no," Tails answered Twilight. "Basically, there was an accident and now Blah's in here instead." He tapped his head. "We have to share control of my body now, and it can get confusing, so you can just call us Knight."
"I see," Twilight replied, deciding that there was very little at this point that could surprise her.
"Will Blah be all right, then?" Rarity asked. "Is he conscious?"
"I am, and he is," Knight doubly confirmed. "Yeah, I did say it could get confusing. Just pretend we're the same person, and you'll be fine. Unless you need to talk to one of us directly."
"Well shoot, Blah," Applejack addressed sympathetically, "Sorry for all you've been through lately. I know it must be hard, cause it sure is for us..."
"Oh, don't worry about it," Knight dismissed. "We've got more important things to think about, like who killed her and why."
'Did you just answer for me?' questioned Blah. 'She was talking to me, you know.'
'Yeah, well... they don't know the difference,' Tails argued. Blah could feel the nervousness in his thoughts. 'Just relax, ok? We can get through this if we work together, and don't forget that "working together" means that I get to contribute too.'
Blah guessed that Tails was dancing around the subject a bit. Something felt a bit off about the situation, but he decided to let it go for now.
"Yeah, well, speaking of which..." Twilight stepped forth, "We haven't found anything new yet, mostly because we were waiting for Sera to get back... Princess Celestia, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy went back to the castle to keep an eye on Discord, so it's just the four... er, five of us now."
"So let's start by summarizing all that we know," tried Knight. "Maybe we'll find something that stands out."
"Pinkie entered Discord's room at around 5:30, I think," Twilight began. "We didn't hear a peep from her room for the next thirty minutes, until you arrived somewhere around 6, at which point we decided to check on them. That's when we opened the door and..." She had to take a moment to breathe, the unsettling image springing to her mind. "...discovered the body. It was under a table in the front of the room. The cause of death was a single stab wound to the back, made by a bladed instrument. According to Sera, there were no signs of a struggle or traces of blood anywhere in the room, implying that she had been stabbed under the table and that the death was instant."
She paused again, making sure everyone had those details in mind, then continued. "We'd spent 5 or 10 minutes examining the scene. We left shortly afterward to find Discord, which we did around 20 minutes later here in the garden. He claimed that he and Pinkie had been out on the town, with him in disguise, until she was apparently kidnapped 10 or 15 minutes prior to us finding Discord. Even though the body had been discovered shortly before that." She sighed. "And that's all we know so far."
"Man, this would be an open and shut case if time travel wasn't a thing," lamented Knight. "I mean, the alleged time of kidnapping would be a clear contradiction. And we know that Discord himself can't time travel, but Pinkie could, potentially. For all we know, our current Pinkie is still alive somewhere, and the one we found was from the future or something. Maybe even an alternate timeline."
"That's right, dear, stay optimistic," encouraged Rarity.
"What I'm curious about, though..." continued Knight, more or less ignoring her, "is what Pinkie did when you saw her last. If she escaped with Discord as he claims, she probably knew about it or even came up with the idea in the first place, which means maybe there's a clue in her prior actions."
"Ah, good thinking," Twilight complimented. "The rest of us were huddled, trying to figure out what to do with Discord, when Pinkie came into the room. She said, and I quote, 'Heeeeey everypony! I'm going to go hang out with Discord for a while, so don't worry your pretty little heads, kay? We shouldn't have to bother each other for a good long while!' And then... she winked at me. And left."
"Yes, now that you mention it," Rarity remarked, "that does sound like Pinkie may have been planning on sneaking out."
"She winked at you in particular, you say?" Knight prompted.
"Yeah... or at least, she looked at me when she did it." Twilight shrugged. "I thought that was just Pinkie being her usual quirky self. Do you think it meant anything?"
"Quite possibly," Knight assured. "You can't overlook even the tiniest detail in a murder case."
"So if she winked at you, that'd mean you knew something, Twi," Applejack suggested. "Probably the fact that they were gonna run off."
"I doubt there was anything I could have said or did to plant that idea in her head," Twilight said, looking up in thought.
"Well, we ALSO know that Discord can disguise himself," Knight reminded them. "Put two and two together, and..."
"He disguised himself as me and suggested that Pinkie sneak out with him," Twilight guessed. "Wow. If that weren't the keystone of a murder plan, I'd think that was actually kind of clever."
"But if his plan was to get her out of the castle," Rarity brought up, "why would he leave the body in his own room for all to discover? He would have had the perfect opportunity to hide her."
"So it's obvious that the murderer wanted the body to be discovered," Knight concluded.
"Which would make it easy for Discord to be given the blame..." Twilight followed up. "However, he could still be using reverse psychology... I can't think of any other way he could feasibly pin the crime on Charge."
"So let me get this straight," began Knight. "Discord disguised himself as you to convince Pinkie to take him out of the castle, then killed her and pulled some kind of time shenanigans to transport the body back to his room. And this was all so that it'd look like he was being framed by Charge or someone. So why take her out of the castle at all? He could just invite her into his room and kill her like that, then sneak out by himself under a disguise."
"Except the guards were told to be on the lookout for any suspicious activity," Twilight answered. "We knew that Discord could very well try to pull something like that. He probably needed Pinkie in order to fool them. Though I'm not even sure how he managed that when they knew that all six of the Elements were needed around him at all times."
"I could see it happening," Rarity said. She cleared her throat, putting on her best Pinkie impression. "'The Princess said it was ok for me to head out which is great because we're like SUPER bored so I brought a friend and we're gonna do some sightseeing ok bye!'" Her voice strained as she ran out of breath near the end, and she inhaled deeply as she finished. "Something like that, and then she would leave before the guards even had a chance to respond. But they wouldn't think much of it, because Pinkie wouldn't lie to them, right?"
"Good point," Twilight commented, impressed at the accuracy of Rarity's imitation.
"Ok, forget trying to solve this ourselves," Knight surrendered. "There's just too much that could work either for him or against him. But there is one person who knows exactly what happened and would be willing to tell us, and that's Pinkie Pie herself." There was silence, as none of the others caught on to where he was going. "Soooo, if we were to prototype Pinkie into a sprite, we could ask her ourselves." Still more silence. "Basically, the game of SBURB gives you a sprite thing which you can 'prototype' with an object or being, living or dead, and they become the sprite. It's sort of a way to cheat death."
"...What." Twilight gawked. "Why didn't you tell us this sooner?! We could have continued to focus on getting you guys into the game..."
"Well..." Knight looked away. "It's not exactly a fate I would wish upon anyone. They kinda become tasked with being your guide, aren't fully tangible, and usually can't go far from the player's house. And if the prototype is made before entry, some of the underlings take on the appearance and traits of the object or being. If after entry, that doesn't happen, but we can't skip the pre-entry prototyping because prototyping is what gives Skaia its form and makes the game winnable. So Pinkie would have to combine with whatever we first prototyped with."
There was yet more silence. "...You lost even ME on that one, Blah," said Tails finally.
"Ok, in short, we have to prototype before entry to win, and if we don't want to fight a bunch of Pinkie-esque monsters, we have to prototype her after entry which will combine her form with that of the first prototype. I don't know if she'll be okay with either of those things, let alone being a sprite in general."
"Well..." Rarity said, "I think I can confidently say that Pinkie Pie would like nothing more than to be with you again, Blah."
'...What is she talking about?' Blah thought, unsure how to respond.
"I-I think you're right," Tails answered for Blah again, faltering slightly. "If there's a chance to bring her back, we'll take it."
'Ok, what the heck,' Blah complained. 'Did I miss something important? Why is Pinkie interested in me all of a sudden?'
'Uh... She...' Tails reprimanded himself for not seeing this coming. He wasn't sure if he could come up with a convincing lie at this point, and he didn't want to risk Blah becoming crazy again.
"Blah?" Rarity queried. "Or... Knight, I think it was? You look troubled. Are... both of you all right in there?"
'Spit it out already,' Blah demanded. 'What really happened while I was out?'
Tails sighed, unaware that the gesture was noticable by everyone else. Perhaps he could afford to tell the truth, now that the idea of reviving Pinkie was plausible. 'Well, Blah, you don't currently have... ALL of your memories.'
'Go on,' Blah requested, becoming less patient.
'You and Pinkie were... a couple, apparently.' His heart rate started to quicken as adrenaline coursed through his system, though he was unsure whose instincts triggered it. Regardless, it made Tails quite uneasy. 'A-and because you thought Discord killed her, you went crazy. You were irrational. So Sera had to cut those memories out so that you'd cooperate.'
"What's happenin' to them?" Applejack questioned with concern, watching the external signs of Knight's internal argument play out.
"I guess they're talking to each other mentally..." Twilight replied. "Not much we can do about it..."
'You made me forget about someone I loved just so that I would calm down...' Blah wasn't sure what to feel. 'There are better ways to calm people down, you know...'
'Well, it wasn't my idea!' Tails hastily defended. 'That was all Sera. And to be perfectly honest, I don't think you would have listened to reason at that point either.'
Blah was silent. The thought of what their relationship could have been tormented him. If a loved one is lost, their memory is the only thing left of them, and taking that away from someone... making it like they never happened... could that really be justified? Was it any different from the act of murder?
His thoughts were heard by Tails, and he began to wonder the same thing. Horrid feelings crept through him as he contemplated how he could have just let such a thing happen.
The idea occurred to Blah to storm back into Eggman's lab and demand his memories back from Sera, but something nearby told him to reconsider. The act would be no different than the rampage that Sera went to such extreme measures to prevent in the first place. Blah denied this voice of reason at first, thinking that he had every right to go crazy after all that he had been forced through. But what would that really accomplish, the voice asked. He'd be putting his own emotions and desires above the safety of innocent lives. Although Sera may not know how best to deal with drama, she does know how best to facilitate the saving of the universe, and that's what matters the most in the end. And, with him realizing that, Sera would probably give him all of his memories back anyway.
'...Ok, Tails,' Blah gave in. 'You got me. I can forgive Sera. Me going insane would be even worse.'
'That... that wasn't me,' Tails denied, impressed at Blah's thought processes. 'You came to that decision on your own...'
'...oh. Well then, glad I can still rely on my common sense! Not that I don't trust you, I mean...' Blah added nervously.
'It's ok,' Tails understood. 'I was almost ready to give up, myself... In my experience, you're not exactly the most stable person ever.''
'Man, will you forget about Angel Island already? That was, like, 30 chapters ago.'
'Chapters? In what book?'
'The book of... life, I guess? I dunno, I was just trying to make a joke! Anyway, we have a few concerned ponies here...'
'Okay then...'
Knight cleared his throat, causing all three of the spectating mares to jump. "Sorry about that, just had a bit of a... domestic disturbance, I guess you could call it. But that's all settled."
"Was Blah about to go all hog wild again?" asked Applejack.
"...Pretty much, yeah," he admitted. "We squashed that problem once and for all, though!"
"Good to hear," Twilight praised. "Now, about Pinkie..."
"Right, well..." Knight thought for a bit. "I still can't decide whether to prototype her before or after entry, but that decision's not going to matter if I, er, Blah, doesn't get into the game. And I don't think I can bring Tails with me. Why not, is there anything stopping us from going together? Well, probably not, but SBURB is a major investment and I'd be taking up pretty much all of your time. You'd still like to be able to do other things, right? Well, sure, but if it can't be helped, it can't be helped. What would I even do on my own, anyway? It's not like Eggman can give us any more trouble. True, but Charge can. Two heads may be better than one, but we have a lot of enemies, so don't you think we should divide and conquer?"
"My, my..." Rarity uttered to herself. "He's just... talking to himself. This will certainly take some getting used to."
"Tell me about it," Sera responded. She had returned at some point during Knight's self-conversation, and her sudden announcement caught everyone off guard.
"Sera, there you are!" Knight stopped talking for a moment. "Did you find anything out?"
"I had the foresight to keep a backup of all of your knowledge of the multiverse," Sera began. "I searched those databanks for anyone who might know a little more about souls, and I came up with one person: Professor Elvin Gadd of the Mushroom Kingdom."
"E. Gadd!" Knight repeated. "Wow, I can't believe I didn't think of him..." He paused. "Wait, I thought he was a expert on ghosts... are ghosts the same as souls?"
"As far as I know, there is some overlap," Sera answered. "Chances are, this professor may be able to shed some light on the subject."
"And then suck it up with a vacuum," joked Knight. He could practically hear the crickets. "It's funny because he invented a vacuum cleaner that sucks up ghosts, and you shine a light on them first... and you know, explaining the joke doesn't help make it funny." He sighed. "Whatever. Anyway, that sounds like a great idea. Let's go find E. Gadd. Please."
"I think I've heard enough from you. Just tell me where my son is already so I can talk to him myself."
Swift Star's patience was wearing thin, although by this point it lead more to exhaustion than anger. Hailstorm sighed for the umpteenth time, unable to find an answer to his questions that was both believable and truthful.
"Well, he's..." Hail searched the sky, as if he expected the clouds to spell out the answer for him. Running out of ideas, he decided to give him a straight and simple answer and hope for the best. "He's in Canterlot."
"Ok, good, now we're getting somewhere," Swift said, somewhat satisfied. "Now, I can't head all the way up there since I'm technically still on the job, but can't you ring him up on that... doohickey of yours?"
Hail looked down at his tablet, staring at the Pesterchum window. Blah's account was online, at least. He figured it was worth a shot. "Well, I can't guarantee we'll reach him right now, but I can try..."
However, just before he could initiate the message, a box popped up. Someone had messaged him first.
- desultoryMonarch [DM] began pestering hailStorm [HS] -
DM: hey hail, whatever you're doing, you need to drop it
DM: this is important
Hail blinked. Apparently, by sheer coincidence, Blah needed to contact him about something as well. Hail played along. "Looks like I got him."
"Great, give me that thing," Swift ordered, approaching. "I need as close to a direct father-son chat as possible."
"Uh... one moment," Hail held back the computer, typing out his own response.
HS: sorry but so is the thing im doing
HS: your dad is here he wants to talk to you
DM: ugh, really?
DM: I don't have time to talk to my fake dad. or, I should say, YOU don't have time for me to talk to him.
DM: a meteor is falling on your position as we speak. you need to enter the game right now.
DM: go back to your house, I'll connect as your server
HS: what
HS: did you get all that stuff sorted out already
DM: yes and no.
DM: you're talking to blah from the future
DM: you may have already seen me helping you guys out here and there
DM: and now, since my past self is preoccupied at the moment, it's my job to get you in
HS: dont you want to at least tell him the truth
HS: hes worried sick about you and ive tried to tell him that youre really blah but he doesnt believe me
DM: give him a rest already, will you? I stopped caring about him long ago.
DM: just please go to your house so we can save the god dang universe already
DM: and also so you don't die, that's kind of important too
Hail had been watching the screen so intently that he failed to notice Swift looking over his shoulder, reading along. "Is that really him?" he spoke, causing the winter pony to jump. Hail turned and nodded softly. "So all that stuff you said was true?" Hail nodded again. Swift faced away and took a few steps, his head bowed. "So I'm his 'fake dad' now... Did all those years mean nothing to him...?" Although Hail could not see his face, he was certain that the stallion was starting to break into tears. As the Rogue had predicted, Swift's denial had simply been a defense mechanism to mask his sorrow.
Hail could do nothing but turn back to his computer and confront Blah.
HS: blah he can read what youre saying
HS: i think you seriously hurt him
DM: our relationship is not going to matter in a few minutes when both of you are nothing but a smoking crater in the ground.
DM: sorry to say, but on my priority list, swift takes second to carrying on the chain and getting these universes back in order.
DM: you've got 10 minutes, bucko. move that colorful rear end of yours.
Hail bit his lip. As urgent as the game was, he figured that Blah would at least be a little less harsh on the stallion who had been his father figure for the past two decades, especially after showing as much compassion as he did with Twilight regarding Spike. However, as he had learned on numerous occasions lately, drama was an obstacle best avoided, lest it waste precious time.
And yet, Hail couldn't ignore the other pegasus. His usual image of a proud, assertive pony was now distorted before him, and he felt partially responsible. There was no telling when he'd see him again after entering the Medium. So, he began to form an idea. Compromising seemed to be his strong suit lately, so he decided to give it another shot.
HS: okay but on one condition
HS: swift is coming with me into the medium and after were in you owe him an explanation
HS: and an apology
DM: fine. let's make it a party.
DM: as long as you enter in time, everything will be just peachy.
Hailstorm, satisfied that he had made some progress at least, put down the tablet and turned to his broken boss. "Swift..." he addressed, putting a hoof on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to... experience that. Things are just really complicated right now, and Blah's probably not at his best. If you come with me, I'll bring us both into the medium, and when that's done, you can talk to him right away. I'm sure you'll be able to patch things up then."
At Hail's words, Swift exhaled audibly, regathering himself to his authoritative air as best as he could before he turned around. "Let's do it. I just want to get to the bottom of this."
Man, if I were Hailstorm, I'd punch future me in the face. Except it'd be more of a kick because I'd have hooves and it's over a chat so it'd have to be an insult or something, which makes the punch/kick thing irrelevant anyway. So I'd probably end up punchkicking present me on his behalf next time I see me/him.
...did I really just explore a hypothetical situation in which I'd strike myself in the face?
Oh well. Since I'm here, I'd like to wish you all a preemptive happy Halloween! Yes I know next Friday is closer to October 31st, but then it'd be a belated wish and I hate being late.
I should probably also consider not typing author's notes at 2 in the morning.