Chapter 2 - Under Pressure

Somehow, the world had seemed just a little more grey ever since they had had Sakyo's funeral.
At first he thought it was just the change in the weather, since Fall was adamantly different from summer, the forecast was typically a lot of rain nowadays, so he hadn't really paid it too much mind. But even when it was nice out, even when the colors of the leaves and trees and all other things around the city were bright and laid bare for all the see, he had noticed that the colors were still muted, as they were on dreary days. Everything just seemed to lack the usual vibrancy that he knew it should have, like some sort of light had just been turnt off and hadn't come back on. He thought that maybe he was going a little color-blind, since he remembered from a science unit in school a couple of years ago that that was most common in males, but he knew it wasn't that almost right away. He didn't mistake one color for another; he could see all the colors of the world, just not in the same light that he knew they originally had.
He had attempted to look it up awhile ago, and hadn't come away with much other than random blurbs and various medical conditions that didn't fit the deal. But one of the suggestions on there had been 'Depression', and had even given a whole article that explained it and what it could do to a person's mind.
But he wasn't depressed. Or at least... Takanosuke didn't think he was.
He had read enough of the article to get the idea of what depression was, and the symptoms, and how different age groups and sexes reacted to it. But he wasn't angry at anything, he wasn't completely hopeless... Sure, he was still grieving over it, but that had be normal right?
He couldn't remember much from when his grandmother had died, that had been years ago, when he was still just a child and hadn't really understood the concept of 'death' all that well. But, then, she had been old, well into her time on earth and basking in the sunset of it - Sakyo had been different.
He wasn't irritable, nor did he blame the people around him for it - he had even met Minoru not too long ago after the younger of the Hagane brothers had apparently gotten acquainted with Zyro and the others, and he had seem pretty alright. He wasn't mad at him, or at anyone, really... Yes, he cried a lot these days, but it was hard thing to go through...
He wasn't detaching himself from the rest of them, he wasn't not trying. He could still get up in the mornings and do his chores and eat breakfast and hang around. He never spent too much time with his dad anyways, since he was always working and was hardly ever at home at all.
He could take care of himself as he typically did.
He was fine, wasn't he?

These thoughts continuously ran through the blonde's head as he lay on his bed, staring at the open door to his room, on top of the blankets and fully clothed, half curled into a ball of too big clothes and heavy red sheets.
He had noticed that he was finding himself here in this way more often than not these days - curled up on his bed in some form, listening to nothing but the silence that eternally reigned in the air, staring at whatever his eyes just happened to land on. It was a habit that he had developed not long after they had gotten back, and it often kept him cooped up in the house far more than it probably should. But it left him alone to his thoughts, to his memories, to his anguish and laughter and grief and joy and-...
Okay, maybe he might be a little depressed, since that did sound a little screwed up now that he really thought about it. But it wasn't a big deal. He was still okay, for the most part. It just hadn't been the same since Sakyo had died, and he couldn't help himself from thinking about it every now and then.
The last memory he ever had of his friend had been of his face, shouting at him with raw desperation and fearful agony that was altogether cold but still fraught with emotion that only Sakyo could really muster. After that there was nothing; nothing except for the blood-soaked room that they had come back too, a place that he had once thought of as beautiful and incredible.
He had never been able to get that image out of his head, of the blood that had been splattered across the floor, gathered in pools where the stone dipped slightly from its even terrain. And that always brought him to the one question that never left him alone... What had happened to Sakyo in there?
Sure, Alcorin had described it in his own sickeningly sadistic detail, but that had never been enough, never really registered. It wasn't a happy thought, but it was something that plagued him nonetheless.
He never allowed himself to think about what else had been on the floor, though.

Takanosuke breathed out a heavy breath through his nose, and then pushed himself up into a sitting position, bringing his legs up to his chest and curling in on himself once more in that position, allowing his cerulean eyes - uncharacteristically somber and dull - to gaze aimlessly towards the bean bag chair that he had had since forever.

...

Nope. Still in the same position as ever.
He hadn't even sat in that thing for the longest time, not since he had first started spending full days with Sakyo and trailing along behind the elder wherever he had gone. But those days were gone now, had been since the moment he had run out of that room in the fear that had consumed him all too entirely, the thundering orchestra of wolf paws rumbling at his ankles.
For awhile he hadn't even really been capable of believing it.
Even after what Alcorin had said, even after seeing that room painted with blood and still filled with the lingering stench of death and bone and unheard screams, he hadn't been able to actually believe it. Or, at least, a strong part of his mind had been unable too. But the rest of him had always known, had not been clouded in the denial that had plagued him all the way back to this city that held so many of his memories.
But then Sakyo's funeral had happened, and that had been the nail in the coffin. Somehow that had been the knife that cut through the last string that had still allowed part of him to deny that his friend was actually gone, and after that he had had nothing left to cling to, and he was left alone with his grief and scattered remembrances...
He breathed through his nose silently again, and then shifted a bit to look around, searching for where he had put his phone. Sometimes he forgot where he put objects nowadays, when they were in the plainest of sight or simplest of places to remember.
He found it on his bedside table, right under the antique lamp that he had inherited when his grandmother had passed away (he had always loved playing around with it when he went over there, even though there shouldn't be too much that was so interesting about a lamp), and reached over without moving from his spot to retrieve it.
Once he did, he returned to his original posture, but this time he focused his eyes on the screen as he turned it on and started flicking through the dozen photos that he had on there.

He had lied that day, at Sakyo's funeral.

He had said that the framed picture he had leaned up against Sakyo's gravestone was the best picture that he had of his friend, but that had been a lie.
Sure, it was one of the better ones, but the best one he had was from later, after the aforementioned photo had been taken, and it was the last picture in his Camera Roll.
Not too long after he had pulled that surprise selfie on the elder blader, Sakyo had seemingly decided that he wanted revenge for that.
That day, not too long before they had learnt of Alcorin's victory and Gingka's supposed death, they had both been on the sea-walk that wound its way along the ocean-facing edge of the city, and Takanosuke had pulled out his phone to take a picture of a seal that had popped its head out of the water, since the sea mammals weren't a very common sight around this area of the coast of Japan. He had gotten a fairly nice picture, but, before he had even had the chance to look at it, Sakyo had come up from behind him and, being much taller than Takanosuke might ever be (or so he told himself), snatched his phone out of his hands. And just as the blonde had turned around to question the red-and-white-haired blader, Sakyo had placed an arm around his shoulder - as Takanosuke had done only a couple weeks prior - and lowered himself to Takanosuke's relative height before snapping the photo that the blonde had had no time to prepare for or foresee. Just as quickly as it had happened, Takanosuke had suddenly found his phone back in his hands, with Sakyo standing up to his natural height and claiming that they were going on.
Of course, the Griffin Blader had been dumbstruck for several moments, and it had taken a good few seconds before he actually looked down at his phone in his smaller, gloved hands. The camera had still been open, turned into the front-facing view, as Sakyo had set it. Curiously, he tapped the bottom left corner of the screen, and brought up the surprise selfie that Sakyo had taken.
It was practically a complete parallel to the one that the blonde himself had taken before, although Sakyo still took up about 60% of the screen, with himself as the one taken off guard by the unexpected act. And there was Sakyo, pressed up against him with his arm around his shoulders, a serene calmness having washed over his face in those few seconds with his lips forming the smallest of smiles that could have gone unnoticed.
In that moment, Takanosuke had been unsure of what he felt, but the sudden warmth that had flooded his chest in that moment was the one he had been sure of. He could have sworn that he had almost felt like crying in that moment, but he hadn't, and he had soon heard the elder blader calling his name, causing him to look up and see the mentioned redhead looking at him over his shoulder with that typical look of icy indifference.
However, it had been a face that he had always been used to, and he gladly followed along behind the Dragoon Blader.

It was the same picture that the blonde looked at now, the last one that he had on his camera roll and the last that he would probably have for awhile. Even with as much light and goodness that it held, a snapshot of a happier time before things that truly gone to hell, it too was as dull as everything around him. But that didn't take away from the small bit of warmth that pooled in his chest as it had all that time ago.
Sakyo had never smiled often. Or at all, really.
Takanosuke had never seen Sakyo smile for himself outside of the photo that the redhead had unexpectedly taken that day, and that had to be the only time that he had seen such a thing on the Dragoon Blader's face.
No, the one that he had placed at Sakyo's grave wasn't the best that he had, but he had not found the heart to put the one his usually bright eyes were currently looking at there instead. It was too close to his heart, and, although it was selfish, he had decided to keep it for himself.

It was only then that he suddenly heard a knock at the door downstairs, the thin walls of his father's house making the pounding resound loudly throughout and easy to hear.
No one ever really came to the house that much, since his father was never there and nobody ever really came looking for Takanosuke. Except for one person, and the boy knew by now who it was. After all, she had been the only one for the past few weeks who had actually come to check on him.
Slowly, Takanosuke got off of his bed and left his room, making his way down the single, carpeted hall of the second floor to the stairs, and heading down the wooden steps in his socked feet with his hand on the ancient banister. The front door came into view as soon as he was halfway down, set nearly dead center in the middle of the wall and leading into the living room, while an archway on the right of coming in lead to the dining room.
He already knew automatically who would be standing outside of it, so he never had to wonder.
But he didn't even make it to the bottom step before his vision suddenly blurred, black spots forming around the edges of his sight and blackening his view of the world as his head suddenly pounded painfully in a spontaneous headache.
The blonde didn't feel himself stumble, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut as the relentless pounding in his head overtook all of his senses, making him yelp unconsciously in pain and raise a hand to his head, gripping his blonde curls harshly as the images flashed before his eyes forcefully, a stinging sensation forming deep behind his eyelids.

No, no no, not again, no...

A train, silver and stark in the setting sun...

What? No, why?...

White walls, grey walls, green walls?... Footsteps..

He felt a warmth from somewhere in the center of his face, and felt that familiar thick wetness rolling down from his nose...

Ruin... everywhere... Black smoke and rubble, distant... screams? Yes.. no... Yes..

He didn't even notice that he had been falling until a splitting pain erupted through the side of his head, his shoulder quickly following along with the rest of his body, and it was only then did the visions suddenly vanish and the world suddenly came back to him. And he was left with a pain in his head and his shoulder that momentarily dulled everything.
He faintly heard the sound of the unlocked front door opening on its slightly creaky hinges, and the sound of her voice reaching into the house.
"Oh my god!" He heard her exclaim suddenly as his hearing and awareness slowly started to come back, "Takanosuke!"
And before he knew it, a worried Ren Kurenai was by his side, helping him sit up from his position on the ground.
"Oowww..." The male blonde groaned as he raised a hand to his head, feeling the bruise that was forming just an inch and a half away from his temple.
"Are you okay?" Ren asked worriedly, helping him scoot up against the closet door right opposite the stairs, her concerned brown eyes scanning the side of his head and his face, "Hang on, I'll get... Uhh.. Something!" With that, Ren was suddenly on her feet and bolting towards where she knew the kitchen was...

It was only about twenty minutes later that Takanosuke found himself on the living room couch holding an ice pack up against the side of his head, while Ren held another one on his left shoulder of which he had also hit when he had fallen off the stairs.
"So, how did you manage a fail like that?" The Phoenix Blader asked as finished wiping off the few remaining bits of blood from under Takanosuke's nose with a wet paper towel.
"I tripped, I guess..." The Griffin Blader replied sheepishly, shrugging his one good shoulder, since it was advised that he not move his other one for the time being.
"You guess." Ren pointed out, tossing the damp, pinkish-brown bundle of paper towel onto the coffee table in front of the couch and leaning back with her now free hand on her hip, "I kinda doubt that falling down the stairs really makes you get a nosebleed. Unless you fell on it, which I know you didn't."
Takanosuke looked at her for a moment, before moving his gaze off to the side with an uncertain look on his face.
Ren didn't know about his visions, or about any of the 'Seer' heritage in his family - he had never felt comfortable with telling her about it, since he knew there was the possibility that she might think of him as crazy or off his rocker.
Then again, she had been the one to apparently be possessed a number of times by two different people on several different occasions, and had also been one who had seen most of the otherworldly things that had gone on in their pursuit of Alcorin, so there was also a strong possibility that she may believe him. Even so, he didn't take the chance of it.
Ren sighed beside him, her shoulders sagging dramatically.
"Look, you don't have to tell me if something's wrong," She reminded him as she had several times in the last month or so since she had come to visit him, "but just don't go falling down the stairs all the time. It worries people, and it could end badly if you go hitting your head like that. Especially on wood floors."

"It's not like I mean too!" Takanosuke protested, sweat dropping slightly.
"Yeah, I know, but try to refrain from it as much as possible, alright?" Ren asked curtly, and Takanosuke nodded his promise to that. "Good." Ren responded, satisfied.
Takanosuke smiled awkwardly at that, and decided to change the topic of conversation.
"Yeah, so..." He started, "Why did you come over here, exactly? I mean, other than to 'see how I'm doing', like you usually do?"

"Oh, yeah!" Ren said as though suddenly remembering, "Well, I came to check on you, really. You didn't show up when we went to see Zyro off, so I was wondering if something else came up."

"That was today?" The blonde asked, suddenly exasperated and shocked at having received this sudden news, and when he saw Ren nod he slumped both of his shoulders and looked down at his lap, "Dammit, I forgot... Sorry."
Ren just smiled at him.
"Hey, don't worry about it." She said dismissively, "It's not that big of a deal. Besides, you're not the only one who didn't show up, since I'm pretty sure that Zyro may have invited Kira to be there... But, anyway, don't worry too much about it, it's cool!"
Takanosuke raised his right arm and gently scratched the back of his head sheepishly.
"Still, sorry about that." He apologized again, "I even wrote it down on the calendar too... I think."
Ren audibly stifled a laugh with her one hand. "Yeah, well, it's all good!" She reassured him with a lightheartedness that he had long learned was just so like her, "Besides, he'll be back eventually. I think we've grown on him a bit too much for him to be able to stay away." At that, she winked, and Takanosuke laughed lightly, although it did make his head hurt a little.
That was true... He didn't know Zyro as well as the rest of them did, but it was obvious that Metal Bey City had really grown on him, as it seemed to with a lot of the people who came and went all the time. And Zyro, in turn, had grown on a lot of people who did have their homes here as he had also grown on them along with the city.
The people who left always seemed to eventually come back time and again, even if they could never stay, so there was no need in doubting that Zyro would definitely plan to come back to their great city, and that was most definitely something to look forward too.
But even with those thoughts, Takanosuke could never shake the images - blurred and vague as they were - that had appeared before him earlier, could never get rid of those sights and sounds, and even smells that he could swear actually could make their way through his senses. He never could... And in all the times that he had ever supposedly foreseen anything, he could never trust those visions to be false even if he wanted to. And the last one very deeply worried him.
"Okay, just keep this here," Ren started, emphasizing what she meant by balancing the ice pack she had been holding on the boy's shoulder, "and I'll go make us some of that tea you have!"
Wordlessly, Takanosuke just nodded, and watched as Ren stood and walked around the couch to make her way to the kitchen again, grabbing the discarded paper towel on the coffee table on her way. It was only when she got to the archway that lead to the kitchen did she slow and stop, before turning around with a raised eyebrow.
"Wait, you do still have tea, right?" She asked.
Takanosuke shrugged his one shoulder as he looked over his other one at her.
"We have iced tea, I know that..." He responded somewhat lamely.
Ren kept gazing at him a moment longer before shrugging her shoulders. "Good enough!" She said, and then continued on to the kitchen and out of sight.
Once she was gone, Takanosuke sweat dropped. She was a good friend, but she sure was something else, sometimes...

Kira wasn't sure exactly why he hadn't gone to see Zyro off that afternoon. He had been invited by the Ifraid Blader himself less than a week prior, and the raven had even said that it was fine either way whether he showed up or not, which meant that Zyro wouldn't mind if he didn't.
But he still wasn't sure why he had stayed away... He had thought about going, he would admit. He had thought about it longer than one probably should on such a thing, debating silently on the unnecessarily troubling subject as he lay facing the ceiling, his body still as stone on the sheets of one of the beds provided in the 'living quarters' at the Bey Stadium, where all the ex-DNA bladers were still currently staying for as long as it was provided.
And in the end, he had decided not too, although he could never give a reason why he came to that decision. And he wouldn't ever say 'because he didn't feel like it' or 'didn't want to', because by now that was hardly an excuse.
Maybe he could have used it if he hadn't grown so close to Zyro and the others in the past while, but he had. Sure, he wasn't necessarily close to them, per say, but he had found that he had developed a sort of... Likeness towards them. Zyro, especially, was in the center of that soft spot, but he would not admit that to anyone.
Maybe that was why he had stayed away.
Whatever the reason, Kira couldn't understand it, and it frustrated him to not understand himself, especially after all of these years that he had spent with no one but himself.

"Pft..." He seethed quietly, his one eyebrow pulled down in a look of irritation, "Ridiculous..." The more frustrating part was that he didn't know who he was calling 'ridiculous'.
Him or them. Maybe both, he didn't know.
Silently, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, resting his arms lazily on his bent knees as his pressed together his purple lips in thought.
It hadn't been too long after they had all returned to Metal Bey City that Kira had finally come back to the rest of the ex-DNA bladers, who had been lazing around ('as per usual', he had thought bitterly) with nothing to do other than train, although most of the training they did was unnecessary. Or so they claimed, at least.
None of them had said anything about him going off to join Zyro and his friends in their 'escapade', but had simply welcomed him back with a vague passive-aggression that did not go unnoticed in the air. The only people who had lacked the passive-aggressive attitude had been Yoshio and Genjuro, the former of who had been genuinely happy for him to have returned, and the latter of who had understood his reason for going as much as he could understand.
Genjuro had simply flashed him a look, and the Bahamoote blader had to guess that the Genbu blader had a little 'chat' with them. Or at least as much as Genjuro could have a 'chat' with anyone.
Since then, things had gone back to their relatively 'normal' state when it came to the ex-DNA bladers, only now they weren't training as rigorously or frequently, since they knew that the tournament had no hope of starting back up any time soon with the school year fast approaching. Which still left the lingering question of what all of them would do when it came to that, since none of them really had anywhere to go.
Kira had thought about that briefly, but had simply just decided that it wasn't worth the time to really consider. It wasn't like he - or any of them, really - could suddenly just show up as the new students in class full of well-behaved, proper youth after all the things that they had done. Half of them, himself included, were hardly sane or orderly enough to even make it past a school office. Not that it mattered, either way.
All of them had fairly well agreed that it was best if they stayed as they were: together, in their little group of outcasts in Metal Bey City, no matter how connected or disconnected they happened to be. But now Kira wasn't too sure what he was going to do now.
Now that Zyro and all of his other friends were heading back to school as well, and the former to his home town of which he knew was quite a ways away. It was strange to think of Zyro not wandering around somewhere in the city with his friends. Hard to imagine him not being there because, for as long as Kira had ever known of him, Zyro had been here, in this city.
Of course, he had known him about as long as any of them had for the length of summer, so of course it would strange to see him leave, although it was definitely necessary on the raven's part.
Okay... Maybe he did care about him a little, but that was besides the point...

Kira sighed irritably and swung around atop the sheets of the bed to place his feet flat on the ground, and stood up promptly, making his way down the walkway between the beds that lined the room and over to the hallway that lead out of the makeshift 'bedroom'.
He knew it was too late to say goodbye to Zyro by now, the digital clock that he could sometimes bring up in his eye patch reading 5:37pm. But he might as well head over to the train station anyway, just to say that he had indeed went there, even if he was not there to see the Ifraid Blader off. Maybe it was stupidly sentimental, and he could safely assure himself that it was, but he didn't care at that point.
Zyro had done a lot for him, even after all that he had done to cause his suffering back when Doji had still had them wrapped around his little finger, so he could do this little thing for him in return. All of the ordeal with Alcorin be damned...

Typically, Sichiro considered himself quite good at being able to handle most situations under pressure. There were people that would easily agree with him as well, most of them being colleagues and co-workers from Headquarters, and the Chief of their 'Technology' department.
He did well at completing projects and crucial work assignments on short notice, even if they weren't of the most top-notch quality, and he knew how to stand in front of crowds and speak, and he knew how to work on multiple things that needed to be done at nearly the same time.
He was good at that.
But being 'under pressure' was one thing - this was something else.
'Under pressure' was not how he would describe the itching in the back of his head, the constant worry that plagued him and caused him to pace around frequently at night when he was trying to sleep, the uncontrollable reflex of glancing over his shoulder no matter where he was that he developed, the overstimulating fear that they could know, they could be watching.
Anyone who knew would call him unreasonable, crazy, even, and he knew that. So he did his best to push that raging anxiety into the back of his head when he was in public, did his best to seem normal, like he was getting enough sleep as he once used too.
But he knew that people noticed, because he could never hold it down. And the worst part was that there was no possible way he could say a word about it, lest he put his own life and the lives of possibly dozens - hundreds - of others at risk
. And even if that didn't happen, people would dub him crazy, because 'how could such a thing be possible, be allowed?' they would ask.
But it was possible, and there were, contrary to what one might think, quite a lot of people who knew.
He had known from the moment he tapped that button that it was a mistake. He had known and yet he had done it anyway, pure impulse fueling him in that one moment and going against the logic that he so prided himself on most of the time, that had kept him alive all these years. The only thing that had gone through his mind was the fear that they might know, that they were dangerously close to knowing, and in that moment he had made that split second decision that he knew he shouldn't have. But he couldn't stand to think that they knew, that they had that information, and he couldn't stand to ever think of her being antagonized and objectified like that by them.
So he had gotten rid of the thing that he had seen on that screen, and hadn't realized until moments later that he may have just signed the contract to dozens of peoples' death sentences, including his own.
Of course, any other person would point out that it had been little over a month and nothing had happened in response to that, so everything must be fine, they would never know, never figure it out. But no.
Sichiro knew them. Had always known them, and he knew that that man was not one to make rash decisions unless a situation desperately called for it, and this was not one of those situations. He was like a snake, cold and predatory, and Sichiro knew better than to underestimate that terrible man, because he had access to technology that most countries, and even most of this one, could only dream of having. And, after all of these years, there was no telling how far they could have advanced it.
So when people said that it was useless to be so paranoid of 'being watched', Sichiro could only possibly laugh at them, because he had every reason to be scared. He always had.
And he was scared now, just as he always was nowadays, and just as he had always been for all of his years since then without realizing, as he sat in the dark space of his living room in his small apartment, huddled on the burgundy, leather armchair that he had bought at one of the large thrift stores on the west of town. Still in his work clothes, long black hair pouring over his slim shoulders and blending him in almost entirely with the blackness that came with having no lights on.

It was like this most days when he returned home. He would have all the lights off, the blinds and curtains closed, most of the appliances unplugged because yes, they could use those. The only light that he allowed to be on was the stove light, and occasionally the emergency blackout light in the bedroom. But, even then, he knew they could probably be watching, because how could anything - anyone - ever be away from them?
This thought was what constantly plagued him as he sat there, along with many others that wouldn't dare leave him be, and he huddled him closer on himself like some scared child in the dark of night, afraid of monsters under the bed. Thinking constantly...

They know, they have to know, how could they not?

And of course, he knew that that was his fault.
He had been trying to protect her, protect him for years, even if indirectly. He had always known from that moment that he would never see her again, and he had been fine with that, because he had believed the same as her; nobody deserved a life like that. He had always been trying to prevent it, even if he had never realized it before now, prevent anyone from ever knowing. But he, in his idiotic impulsiveness, had caused everything to start come crashing down. And it was only a matter of time before the first physical move was made.
And, sometimes, he wondered if this was how she had felt in those last few years. After all, something had to have driven her towards it, right?
There was always a reason. And Sichiro now believed that he may have understood hers...

Knock Knock Knock

The sudden pounding that came against the heavy wooden door to the apartment nearly made Sichiro jump out of his skin and off of the chair, the silence of the house unexpectedly torn away by the loud intrusion. He swiftly turned around and looked towards the general direction of the door, the knocking now having gone silent as the person outside waited for the door to be answered.
And that person could be anyone.
Cautiously, Sichiro got out of his armchair and made his way around it, body rigid as he peeked around the corner towards the front door, a thin beam of light protruding from under it. Of course, the lights were always on out in the hall, as most apartments tended to leave them that, and he could clearly see the beam interrupted by two separate shadows spread evenly apart - feet.
The raven didn't dare turn any of the lights on, and crept along quietly to the door so as to not alert the person outside that he was home if they happened to be someone that he didn't want to come in contact with. He held his breath, socked feet padding lightly against the carpet, stepping over that creaky floorboard underneath a patch of it, and pressed himself against the wall just behind the door, his heart beating frantically in his chest.
Slowly, he reached across the length of the door towards the doorknob, altogether leaning forward to look through the peeky-hole in the center. But before he got to it, a voice - a female voice, muffled slightly by the separation of the door - suddenly called out.
"Sichiro?" A voice that he knew all to well spoke, "Are you home?"
One huge, collective sigh of relief escaped the raven's mouth, his tense shoulders lowering as his body instinctively relaxed. However, the dread that had come upon him didn't face. Hesitantly, he reached up and unhooked the door latch before actually opening it, and revealing the all too familiar face of Ayano.
"Oh, hey." The raven greeted as casually as he could, "I didn't expect to see you here."
Ayano shrugged her lithe shoulders, which were now covered by a long-sleeved pink shirt that he had seen her wearing a number of times when she wasn't at work.
"I was walking by, so I figured I'd stop by for a couple minutes." The greenette explained, her hair out of its usual bun but tied into a low ponytail that was equally as tight, "If that's alright?"

"Oh, yeah!" Sichiro said somewhat awkwardly, and stepped aside to allow her entry, although he knew it might not be the best decision, "C-come in."
Graciously, Ayano stepped inside the apartment and onto the carpeted floor, slipping out of her black heels and leaving them by the front entrance behind her colleague's.
"Sorry, it's pretty dark in here." Sichiro apologized, reaching past her to flip on one of the light switches which turned on the light above them, and then heading off into the living room/kitchen to turn on the rest of the lights - or at least the ones that were necessary to have on.
Ayano followed along behind him slowly, her cerulean eyes gazing around at the pasty white walls of the small apartment and the few framed pictures - all of painted scenery - that hung in the hall and above the couch and television and 'dining room' table. Sichiro couldn't help the prickle of nerves that went through him, but forced himself to calm down.
Of all people, the last person that he really wanted here was Ayano.
Yes, he dreaded the white and black suited men that could possibly show up, the official looking persons that could have come knocking on his door any time during the last many years, feared them in his dreams and in his waking hours.
Ayano was not any of those people - sure, she was a very sophisticated and professional woman, but she wasn't them. He didn't fear her coming for him, but he did fear her ability to read him, as she had almost always been well capable of, and for all he knew she could be seeing every one of his secrets like he was an open book.

"Would you like anything?" He asked her as he flipped on the kitchen light, trying to seem as casual as possible, "Coffee? Tea? Anything?"
"No thanks, that's okay." The greenette replied as she stood beside the couch, her arms folded loosely over her chest, "Besides, I don't think you could make any, anyway..." She gestured to just to the side of him on the counter, where the coffee maker stood, "The coffee maker's unplugged, as I see."
"Uhh... Yeah." The raven said awkwardly, steel grey eyes looking anywhere but at her, "I, uh... I unplug it when I'm not here to, um, conserve power..."
Slowly, Ayano nodded, her cerulean eyes never leaving him except to glance around a small bit.
"Okay..." She said, although Sichiro knew that he could not convince her of that, "You seem to unplug almost everything else, too." Of course, she had noticed the cords of the table lamps hanging off of the wooden furniture they were placed on, and had also noticed the lights that should be on above the fridge were off as well, as well as the timer light on the microwave and the TV, who's cords lay hanging out from behind the stand.
To that, Sichiro said nothing, and she never missed the way that he refused to look at her. Her dark green eyebrows pulled together on her forehead, her face frowning worriedly.
"I'm guessing you keep all the lights off when you're at home, too?"

"Ayano, where is this going?" Sichiro very nearly interrupted, but had managed to restrain himself long enough to wait until she had just finished her question.
"You should know where this is going." The greenette accused, her concern prominent, "Sichiro, I know your work hours like I know my own schedule, and unless you just got here, which I really doubt, you've been home for the past two hours... And I think that's enough time to plug everything back in."
The raven could feel his heart pounding against his rib-cage, the nearly painful thudding an unwelcome guest, and he fought to keep his breathing right as he gripped the edge of the counter top. This is what he had always been afraid of - someone, anyone, figuring out anything about him, being able to read him like she knew how too.
It had never bothered him before now, because before now he had had nothing to worry about, nothing to really hide because he had a completely different life here, where nobody knew who he had been or the things that he had done.
It hadn't mattered before now. But, then again, he had always known he wouldn't be able to run away from it all forever, no matter how hard he tried to act like there was no problem, like everything was fine. He had done that for 6 years, back then. Maybe just a month more had actually been the limit.
"Why are you here?" The raven asked, although he knew the answer, willing himself to look over in his companion's direction. At first, the green-haired woman didn't answer, but then she did.
"I'm worried about you, okay?" She said after their brief silence that could span centuries, "And others are worried about you too... You're not getting enough sleep, you're barely talking to anyone anymore, you keep acting like something's watching you, or just wrong, and yes, we've noticed." She said when she saw the look on his face like he was about to protest, "Don't try to tell me that nothing's bothering you, because something is bothering you."

"It's fine, it's not important..." He lied through his teeth, "It's... It'll been fine, eventually..."
"Bullshit..." Ayano stated with a slow shake of her head, her eyes digging into him like they always had been able to, "'It's not important', huh?... If it's bothering you for the last month, then, yes, I think it's probably pretty important, Sichiro. Whatever it is, you can tell me! I'll listen, you know I will."

"Yeah, but it's not something you just talk about." The raven ground out, his skin flushed white, folding his arms over his chest tightly.
"Did something bad happen?" Ayano asked quietly, her voice soft in the silence that filled the apartment, "Is it family? Are you hurt? Sick? In trouble? What's going on? Please, just tell me. Whatever secrets you have, they're safe with me, I won't tell a soul."
"Yes you would." Sichiro said suddenly, his voice firm and dead set on the apparent mere thought, and her eyes widened slightly at his change in tone. She said nothing for a second.
"Why do you say that?" She asked.
"Because anyone would say something." Sichiro said with what sounded like amused irony in his voice, "I mean, that's what you'd logically do, right? Tell someone? It's not like it's rocket science... You wouldn't believe a word I say anyway. Why would you?"

"Sichiro." The greenette said firmly, which managed to drag the raven's steel-colored eyes over to her, "We've know each other for years, I seriously doubt there's anything you could tell me that I wouldn't keep a secret if you wanted me too. I just want to know what's wrong, I want to help!"
"Well, you can't!" The raven-haired man shouted suddenly, making the already pale woman pale even more as she jumped at the sound of his voice - angry and frustrated, hurt, afraid... "You can't help!" Sichiro went on, steel eyes narrowed dangerously with his whole body turned towards her, "No one can! Trust me, I know! Sure, you can try to fix things all you want, but this... It's not possible to fix something like this, it never has been! The only thing that trying to help with something like this is good for, is killing people! Don't you get it?!" After that he suddenly fell silent, panting harshly from his frustration and anger, and it took several moments before he finally realized the mistake he had made. He quickly lifted a hand to cover his mouth, eyes wide in fear as he stared across at Ayano who stood just as shocked as he was afraid and guilty. Looks like a month really was all he needed to snap.
"S-Sichiro, I..." Ayano tried to say, but her voice stuttered and failed, leaving her looking dumbfounded and completely lost for words as the raven himself was. "I-I'm sorry, I... I-I didn't... I didn't mean..." She tried again, but still she was unable to find the words.
Sichiro didn't blame her.

"Please..." He whispered over his hand, lowering it slightly from his face and refusing, once again, to meet her eyes, "Just go... Please..."
The quiet that filled the space was unbearable, and both of them were unable to ignore the fact that it was there as Ayano carefully backed out of the room, her cerulean eyes eyeing the floor, her bare feet not making a sound against the rough carpet.
"You can talk me, you know..." She said softly, and the hitch in her voice nearly made Sichiro fall apart right then and there, "I won't judge you..."
Then she disappeared from his sight, and the south of the front door opening and closing quietly - although it was so loud in the quiet - told him that she was gone.
Quickly, Sichiro whirled around a full 180 degrees to face the sink that was just behind him, gripping the edge of the counter top fiercely with his free hand and pressing the opposite one to his mouth again, eyes wide as he stared down into the stainless steel bowl below him.
The nausea in the pit of his stomach was overwhelming, his throat burning and suffocating him as he felt the sudden urge to gag in revulsion. The lights that were on around him were suddenly all too bright, too bright compared to the darkness that he had become so used too after all this isolation. And the brightness that they let off seemed to weigh down on him, press into his back and blur his vision in his panic and guilt and regret.
Of all the things that she could have ever needed to hear, that wasn't one of them.
Oh god... What had he just done?...