Thanks for being so understanding! This, hopefully, should be a bit better. For one thing, CARLIN! Now, review time!
bigyihsuan: Glad you approve!
The Nerdinator: Fixed it, thanks!
Kamen Rider Necrom: Thank you!
AaronCottrell97: Thanks! Hope this is enjoyable!
Reality Rejection Service: Only thing I could really do with him!
Greatwestern1522: Oh, he's still grinning. Lorry 2 is still in that field, by the way...forever! Mwahahaha.
TrainManiac: Give it a bit of time, it should get better, I hope.
Game-Watch: Perhaps? I don't watch Family Guy, sorry.
Radical sandwiches: Give him time! Once the movie comes out, he's going to be unstoppable. XD.
UGX7: Yeah, the roughness is unavoidable. I think it came out well, considering the speed with which I wrote it. Thanks for the honesty.
MattPrice01: Thanks! That line pretty much sums up most of the intros from here on out.
The engines on the Fat Controller's railway love Brendam Docks! It's the best place to get drunk that isn't the Sidings. There's always lots of work to keep them busy, even if half the time they don't actually do said work. Visitors to the Island often arrive here, because, well, it's a dock. Salty regales them with tales of his adventures at sea (Much as they would wish to never hear them ever again) and Gordon then pulls them about because that's all that they are good for.
One day, the Fat Controller decided to screw with the timetables and dragged some of the engines up to Brendam to see the unloading of something special. The exciting new toy- I mean, arrival, was being unloaded by Cranky the Barely Functioning Alcoholic Crane.
The special was heavy.
"OI!"
Oh, grow up, it's not personal.
"This makes my chain ache!" snarled Cranky. He was ignored, again, and decided to start writing a very emotional blog post about his feelings.
"This is 'Arvey! The Drain Engine!" The Fat Controller swayed a little bit, having had quite a lot to drink the previous night, and therefore having a little trouble with using words the way that they were intended. "Ahem. Harvey. Crane Engine. There we are." He glanced back to the large group of soulless executives in suits, who merely wrote down the words 'marketable' on their clipboards.
The other engines thought Harvey looked weird. They were very judgemental. And with a face like Percy's too, you would have expected a bit of sympathy for the poor sod. Said poor sod was just happy to be on the ground, he didn't like dangling from the depressing crane's arm. He flexed the crane part of him and waved at the others.
"These gentlemen are from the Railway Board!" declared the Fat Controller. "I know! I didn't know we had one of these either! Considering all the accidents that have been had-" He shuddered and shook his head. "Anyroad, tomorrow, Harvey will give them a demonstration! Of what, mind, I have no idea. If all goes well, he'll join us full time. And if not, we're throwing him back in the sea and weeping, because you have no idea how much money we've wasted on this potential 'fool's errand'.
"What's a dimmerstation!?" Percy paused. "Wow, I am really dumb today. Damn you, head trauma!"
"De-Mon-Stra-Tion. It's when you show off what you can do. You know, like how the big engines constantly show why they should be sent to a retirement home or the like."
"Or when Thomas and I have a RACE!" Bertie bellowed. Yeah, I'm not sure why Bertie was still there. "VAROOM VAROOM!" He proceeded do a few wheelies, before smacking Cranky's support structure.
"Bertie, I'm not enabling your racing fixation anymore!" Thomas groaned. "Come on, I suppose we'd better head back and actually try and do something. For once."
...
That night, Thomas arrived back at the sheds to get some kip. He noticed Harvey standing off to the side near the works shed, on his own. He could tell that the crane engine could hear what the other engines were saying in the actual sheds.
"Harvey's...different." said Henry, cautiously aware that Gordon was going into full blown paranoia at the moment.
"Okay, so he doesn't look a thing like an engine!" Edward was aware that the Out of Character Fairy was doing her work well tonight, but plowed on. "Gordon, does that really mean that we should be barricading the shed doors like this?! He's not a zombie for god's sake!"
"That shows what you know! What if the Fat Controller lets him pull coaches? It is just one small step from that to ERADICATING THE ENGINE RACE! WE MUST PREPARE, FOR THE END TIME HAVE COMETH! THE END IS NIGH!"
James too was in the midst of a paranoid breakdown. "He's just Cranky on wheels! He's the SPAWN OF CRANKY! HE HAS COME TO AVENGE HIS FATHER FOR ALL THOSE JOKES WE MADE!"
"HE'S NOT TAKING MY MAIL!" screeched Percy, who was just going along for the hell of it.
Thomas was very depressed. What did it come to that HE was the calmest and most accepting engine on the Island at the moment? He decided to put on his After School Special voice. "Don't worry, sometimes it takes time to make new friends! ...And also, for people to stop being so PARANOID!" And off he rolled into the shed.
Head first into a wall.
"MOTHERFU-"
But Harvey was depressed. He didn't have time. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay where no one wanted him.
He had yet to see the piles of money he would get for all of the merchandise he would be getting.
...
The next morning, he spoke to the Fat Controller. He tried to ignore the heated glares he was getting from Gordon and James, who appeared to be stockpiling large quantities of holy water and silver bullets. Just on chance. "Maybe my coming here wasn't such a good idea sir. I mean, James hissed at me earlier. And tried to bite me. It was very confusing, really."
"NONSENSE!" said the Fat Controller, so cross that his mouth was in danger of falling off his face. "I've spent too much money- I mean, grown to like you so much! I will not have it!" He got down on his knees. "PLEASE DON'T BUGGER THIS UP FOR ME!"
"But the engines don't like me! They think I'm different!"
"They hate everyone! It's nothing personal! Different is what makes you special!"
Harvey felt...somewhat better. Not much. But a little.
...
"OH WHY DID I THINK THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!"
Out on the branch-line, Percy was having trouble with trucks. Needless to say, he really should have reconsidered pulling the trucks up while facing them. That just seemed to be a recipe for disaster every time he did so. He was currently rushing down the hill like a greased up sledge.
"FASTER WE GO! FASTER WE GO! PULL EM ALONG, DON'T LET EM SLOW! God, we're running out of ideas, lads."
"Help! Police! Murder!" As his driver applied the brakes, Percy hit a bump in the rails and went flying off the rails not too far from Bulgy's Bridge. Bulgy himself was currently lying on the ground and regretting most of his life choices. This is why he isn't appearing on camera.
"It's raining trucks- HOLYSHIT IT'S RAINING TRUCKS!" screamed Bertie, who veered off the road and onto the grass, killing three chickens and a goose that lay in his path. PETA was going to give him hell for this later. He was relieved that Percy hadn't killed himself, but he was also a bit of a prat, and was therefore angry that the road was blocked.
Especially considering that the Railway Board were staring at his driver like they were trying to take his soul.
...
When the Fat Controller heard the news, he hid under his desk for half an hour. Then he got in his car and drove into a signalbox as he rushed to get Harvey. "Bloody stupid engine has crashed! I need you to do your thing! Whatever the hell that is!"
"I'll do my best sir!" And off Harvey set.
"WAIT UP I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU WHERE TO GO!"
And once the Fat Controller had done that, off Harvey set in the right direction this time. He arrived at Bulgy's Bridge, and ignored the screams of horror from some of the more...sensitive townsfolk. He went to work.
"OW!"
After hitting Percy in the head with his crane arm, mind.
As Harvey lifted Percy, and every truck, back onto the track, the Railway Board began to see a lot of pound signs in front of them. "WE APPROVE." They said, as one. The Fat Controller beamed, and hoped that the Gentlemen of the Railway Board would finally have an expression on their face that wasn't the blank stare that they had had since coming here.
At last, when Harvey had lifted all of the trucks back onto the rails (Save for the brakevan, which now could make a passable career as firewood), the Fat Controller ran up the hill. He tripped several times, and at one point banged his head on the sleeper, but at last he made it up to face Harvey. "That...that...oh goodness gracious, give me a moment." He held a hand up as he inhaled deeply. "Best bloody demonstration ever! The Gentlemen of the Railway Board have decided that you shall become a toy- Er, join the railway!"
"Oh, thank you sir!" said Harvey. "I get to spend a lot of time with the asses who mocked me for my hideous appendage whose addition to my body I had no control over!"
"You need to learn to look on the bright side of life!" The Fat Controller frowned. "Mind, speaking of hideous appendages, where's Carlin?"
...
"OHHHHH that's the stuff! Keep em coming, Rose!"
"Mr Carlin, aren't you supposed to be driving the engine at the moment?"
"Aren't you supposed to be getting me more beer at the moment?"
"Fair enough."
"So...um...why'd you bother coming back if you're just going to sneak off to the pub and get drunk, then?" The fireman looked at Carlin, who was now on the verge of collapsing off his stool, and wondered to himself if remaining Percy's fireman had really been worth it.
Carlin didn't answer. "This is the f**King stuff!" He slurred, as he chugged down his twelfth glass of the hour. He grinned, held the glass aloft...and then toppled backwards in a dead fate.
The fireman sighed, and got out his wallet.
...
That time, Harvey heard the engines talking again. Which was not hard considering that he was sitting right next to them. But this time, it was different.
"Well done, Harvey!" said Gordon. "I NEVER doubted you for a second!"
"Very useful!" wheedled James through gritted eeth.
"You can take my mail!" Percy said, having taken a bump to the head and being slightly behind everyone conversationally wise.
"Ehhhhhh...six out of ten." Henry muttered, under his breath.
"You see-" whispered Thomas, looking dead on into the camera for the inevitable PSA that was to be made from this footage "-different can be good. Within reason! Now they know-"
"And knowing is half the battle!" Edward agreed.
"WELCOME TO THE RAILWAY HARVEY!" The engines said, and fell into argument about how the hell they had managed to say that in unison. Harvey smiled happily and relaxed.
Unfortunately, Harvey drank so much at this makeshift party that his voice ended up deepening and he randomly gained a Scottish accent that would slowly develop over the next year or so. Donald and Douglas were happy. So was Harvey, as he had been feeling as though he was lacking in the personality department a little. The others not so much, as that meant that yet another rowdy Scot with a drinking habit was let loose on the Island.
Which just goes to show...something.