Chapter Four/Peeta's POV
The room is comfortable. But stuffy. It brings a claustrophobia I didn't know I had to the surface. Or maybe that's just my overwhelming fear. I hear the Peacekeeper vaguely telling me it's time for goodbyes, but I don't acknowledge him.
My parents are the first ones in. My father sweeps in and hugs me tightly. I'm surprised to see unshed tears sparkling in his eyes. "You can do this, Peeta. You're strong. Really. Hand-to-hand combat is a factor; please, just listen to your mentor and come back to us." I nod, swallowing, and he backs away.
Mother walks forward and stands in front of me. There's no tears in her eyes, but there is sadness. "You know, District Twelve might have a victor this year," she says thoughtfully. Have I really made her this sure of me? "She's a survivor, that one." My heart drops. Of course, she doesn't mean me. "Who? Lucy?" I ask bitterly. "Of course not. The one with the squirrels. Katniss, if I'm correct," my mother tells me. "Yes. Katniss."
Father shoots Mother a glare. "Stop that! Peeta is just as capable. He has to be," he snaps. Just then, a Peacekeeper pokes his head into the room. "That's time. Your next visitors are coming." My parents leave the room, and my two brothers come in. My oldest brother, Randy, stands in front of me awkwardly. He's like my mother in some ways, but not as cruel. "You can do this, Peeta. Don't go down without a fight, but more importantly, don't go down." Jonas, who's eighteen, sits next to me on the couch and wraps me in another hug. "Exactly. You have to come to us, Peet. Got it? You can't leave us. We'll be vouching for you all the way."
Jonas' words push me over the edge and a sob wracks my body. Randy starts, but doesn't know what to do. Jonas simply lets me lean on his shoulder. Weak. Coward. That's what the commentators will call me when the cameras find me again at the train station, but I don't care. I just don't.
The Peacekeeper enters again to call my brothers out, but Randy grabs my shoulders at the last moment. "I know, Peeta. About Katniss. I'll make sure her sister is okay. I'll make sure!" he promises as the Peacekeeper pulls him away. I'm left stunned as the door closes behind them.
How can he know? About that day in the rain when I was eleven years old, watching the girl I'd been crushing on since kindergarten die of starvation? Or does he mean that he knows I like her? That must have been what he meant, because he promised to watch over her sister. I'm confused, scared out of my mind, stunned, furious at my mother. But underneath that… Am I relieved? Because even if Katniss is dead - gone - their will still be some remnant left of her in this world, in her sister? Not that I'd ever go for Primrose, of course, but it would be a relief to know that Katniss is still out there somewhere.
I lean back against the couch and let myself cry. Who cares if the cameras see me with a red nose, puffy eyes? Who cares? Certainly not me. Perhaps it will work out for me, like it did a few years back from a tribute that pretended to be a complete weakling until the final few. She ended up killing savagely.
Forty-five minutes later, after visits from friends and distant relatives, I'm led away to the train station. I can see the other tributes - Lucy, Gale, Katniss - being led by other Peacekeepers. At one point, I notice Katniss stumble over the uneven pavement. A Peacekeeper reaches out to push her forward, and Gale growls something I don't catch at him. What are the two of them? Katniss and Gale? I don't let myself dwell on it, especially not when Effie Trinket appears to guide us onto the train.
The train car is lush and bright. There's tables of food and comfortable velvet seats. Lucy chooses a spot at the far end of the car. When I go to try to talk to her, she just spits at me, "Get lost, doughboy!"
I do. Quickly.
Katniss sits alone, staring out the window. Gale is picking up two bowls of stew at one of the tables. I slide into the car across from her. "Um… Hi," I greet. Katniss jumps, whips around, and relaxes when she sees it's me. "Oh. Hi," she replies. She seems at a loss for words, but I'm not any better.
We sit there in awkward silence until Gale, the tall boy that I see at her side all the time, plops down next to her. "Here. I got you some food," he says, passing her one of the bowls. She thanks him quietly and takes a bite. I'm not sure what to do, when Gale turns to look at me. His eyes are the same gray as hers, a fact that makes me realize just how much I like her when I only notice his eye color now that they're boring into mine and I know hers even when I've never spoken to her directly.
"You're Peeta, right?" Gale asks, which instantly sets me on edge. Why does he want to speak to me? He's two years older than I am, in Randy's class. Randy once told me he'd noticed that Gale Hawthorne had a habit of staying in the background, never the limelight, listening but rarely speaking. And when he did talk, he had a strong voice, an even stronger opinion. It unnerved him, and I can see why.
I shake away my thoughts and nod tersely. "Yes. I am. Why?" I ask coolly. In my peripheral vision, I can see Katniss tense, like she's ready to spring away. Why? Is Gale going to attack me? Something in her expression makes me think it'll be worse. "I wanted to thank you," Gale says. Both Katniss and I do a double-take. "Th-thank me? Why?" I ask, utterly confused.
Gale sounds uncomfortable. Maybe he hoped I would understand on my own, but I don't. "Well… because… I don't know any details, really, but Katniss told me a long time ago that you saved her life once. If you hadn't, I never would have met my best friend." He chuckles quietly. "My only friend, really." "Oh. Um… I mean, it's what any decent person would do, right?" I can feel my face turning red. Katniss mutters something I don't hear. Gale looks down at her. He heard. "What?" I ask. She repeats herself, slightly louder but still a whisper. "Your mother didn't. She saw me, but she yelled at me. Chased me away."
Right. I remember hearing my mother screaming, but I didn't know what it was about. She was telling Katniss to leave? Condemning her to death? That must have been what she meant by saying that Katniss was a survivor in the room back in the Justice Building. I feel my anger at her return.
I don't have an answer to Katniss' comment, so I don't say anything. She goes back to looking out of the window, watching the landscape flash by, but not before she reaches for Gale's hand.
As discreetly as I can, I observe their demeanor. They seem completely comfortable holding hands, but not in a boyfriend/girlfriend way. It's more like they're steadying each other. Maybe like siblings would. Gale rubs his thumb in concentric circles on the top of her hand. They're both lost in their own thoughts, not in each other like significant others. And Gale called her his best friend; no, I conclude, they're not a couple. But they're definitely close.
I decide to look out the window too, and I'm like that for about five minutes before Katniss stands. "I'm going to go to bed," she says. It's still light out, but no one argues. Gale just releases her hand and settles back in his chair. "Okay. Goodnight."
A few minutes later, Lucy gets up and silently goes to her compartment, as well, and it's just me and Gale. I'm on edge, but I don't let it show.
After a while, I can feel the eighteen-year-old's gaze on me. I turn my head and meet his eyes, which I know instantly is a bad idea. But now that I've acknowledged him, there's no going back.