I'm excited to say that we'll be returning to our regularly scheduled idiocy soon! But first, let's finish off this Pack lot for the time being.

AaronCottrell97: Yeah, it is FREAKY. I think it bothers me more because they did such a good job at creating the illusion of size with the Narrow Gauge Engines, and you can clearly tell when the two models are swapped out.

Reality Rejection Service: Hopefully you'll get to see a sample of the hi-jinks at a later date.

Game-Watch: Funny thing is, part of this sequel is my attempts to avert that a little. But more on that at a later date.

BronzeShield: I agree! Especially considering that they're on for such a small amount of time, it's a shame they didn't get more use during the model years.

Kamen Rider Necrom: Thanks!

MattPrice01: It's fine! Bob the Builder was a big childhood favorite of mine, and seeing as Series 6 takes place in the time period where it was at it's biggest, I felt it would be fun to throw in a few references...and who knows? Maybe more...

Radical Sandwiches: Ta for the opinion. I am teasing the idea of having the Pack stories take place after Season 6, just to get them out of the way with, but who knows at this point? Oliver is glad you enjoyed the drugs. He did too.

UGX7: I hadn't thought of it before, but I think that's who I based Kelly off of. I was worried that it would come across a little mean-spirited, but it's just a bit of very black comedy. And yeah, it is weird. I honestly wonder if it had something to do with no having a proper Oliver episode or even a speaking role in Season 6. Eh, who knows?

JD145: Glad you're enjoying! It's harder than it looks, I agree, but the fact that I've been doing this now for over a year is mindboggling to me! Thanks for your support, and I hope you enjoy the rest!

Hughie96: Thanks! Actually, I think part of the reason the Pack thing never got off the ground was because HIT thought it was too similar to Bob the Builder. A pity really, would have been nice to see what they could have done with it.

CUE THE THEME!

"So, um, about this Pack spin-off?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's a good idea and all, and they are an interesting bunch...but don't you think it's a little too similar to Bob the Builder? I mean, HIT'll have a field day with it!"

"Who cares?" David shrugged. "Talking vehicles have existed on TV for years, but we didn't let that stop us making the series, did we?" He paused as he recognized Britt's somewhat glum face. "What?"

"See...we may have to co-exist with HIT a bit more than we usually would do..."

...

thomas puffed along a very deserted area of his branchline, thinking about his new 'friend' Jack. The quote marks were around the word friend primarily because of how mandated the thing felt. He sighed as yet another cue card was passed along for him to read. "I hope that he is doing better today." He sighed. "Dear oh dear, I hope that Jack will join the Pack and please Miss Jenny something fierce. Oh please, God-" He suddenly rammed forward, knocking the cue card to the rails and running it over just for emphasis. "Oh. No." He said, mock-sadly.

For those not keeping track, the episode before, Jack had broken the rules and had gotten into trouble. Well...broken is perhaps a exaggeration. Only on Sodor would trying to help someone be considered a rule breaking offence.

The Pack was widening the road between the old quarry bridge. Byron was currently engaged with his arch-nemesis, the old oak tree, while Oliver routinely smacked the ground. He was currently on a massive high, and thought that there were large dogs trying to bite his wheels.

Jack and Alfie were loading up Max, all to the tune of a jaunty Irish jig that had been left on in the background just in case Miss Jenny came back, to gain her favor. Dust and dirt flew everywhere. Work had never been so much fun...said no one ever.

"FUN!" Jack bellowed.

"YEAH YEAH! ATCHOO!" Alife agreed. he was not a wordy person. The last of the suspiciously chocolate-like soil was loaded into Max, and he shot off like a cork from a bottle. Alfie, who was simple at heart, did a full three hundred and sixty degree turn to celebrate...for some reason.

Jack, for his part, felt very proud. He had worked hard, done all his jobs and followed all the rules...and he had managed to not blow anything up, which was a plus point in many ways. But still he was worried that Miss Jenny would cut him from the show proper- I mean, let him stay. He needn't have worried, for Old Ned, the village idiot, had arrived to work at that very moment.

Wisely, they had stuck him at the bottom of the quarry when they had been working there previously. He was clearing away rocks in a part of the road that everyone was sure couldn't lead to trouble. They had reckoned without Ned's big bucket, big heart and small brain. The rocks banged into Max's back with the beat of an over-enthusiastic drummer. "CAREFUL, YA BUMBLEBUCKET! WASSUP!?" bellowed Max, the amateur rock star.

"Sorry!" said Ned, cheerfully. It would have meant more had he not been talking to a wall. Max had already zoomed off, out of the episode.

...

Thomas couldn't wait to get to the Old Bridge. As much sarcasm as can possibly be found has been poured into those words, can you tell? He knew the Pack were working there, and so he wanted to...hell, I don't know. See how Jack was doing? Trying to get some more toys out of the situation? Who knows?

Back at the site, the foreman bellowed. "OLIVER! PLEASE MOVE THIS TOPSOIL!"

"I'LL DO IT!" bellowed Jack, and he raced under the bridge towards the large pile of soil. He heard Alife bellow his name in as melodramatic fashion as anyone, but before anyone could stop him, he was at the soil. He was about to fill his bucket, when he remembered Miss Jenny's warning. And very, very drunk rantings about how clearly she should have stuck to working at a boarding school, as they were more co-operative that this lot.

"OLIVER!" Jack shouted in the other vehicle's ear. "THIS IS YOUR JOB!"

"Thank you, I didn't know that before. Asswipe." said Oiiver in as polite a manner as possible when dealing with Jack the Blithering Idiot.

"Well done Jack!" Kelly called, as he tried to hang himself with his own hook.

"Yes, well done Jack!" called Alfie and Isabella in the most patronizing manner possible as they attempted to rescue Kelly from killing himself, or otherwise giving himself a very sore neck.

Jack beamed proudly. "I DO GOOD!" he said, like a British Hulk.

At that moment, Ned ambled on over. One could faintly hear the chords of doom being played as he moved forward. Despite the fact that his banksmen had warned him to lower his crane arm...he wasn't doing so good on that side of things. "I must be careful, I must be careful, I must be-"

CRACK.

"-oh bugger!"

Jack watched as Ned somehow managed to take out both keystones of the bridge. It was an impressive mistake, no one was quite sure how Ned had managed to do so accidentally. The bridge began to crumble, as did everyone's hope of a quiet day.

Thomas, meanwhile, ambled along, unaware of any of this and wondering why it was that he was the only engine who interacted with the Pack at all. He faintly heard Jack melodramatically scream "THOMAS!" as he rounded the bend.

Jack had jumped in, slamming his front loader up in an attempt to keep the bridge from falling down. He pushed with all his might, as the flagman arrived too late to stop Thomas from rushing onto the broken section of track. His driver had applied the brakes, but it was too late.

"CINDERS AND ASHES! WHAT A SHIT CATCHPHRASE THAT WOULD BE ALSO HELP!"

Jack didn't let go, until Thomas raced backwards, screaming all the time that he was 'too young and too pretty to become dead' all the way. "Holy up, Jack! I'm coming!" shouted Kelly, who had been considering whether or not being crushed by a bridge would actually kill him or not. Unfortunately, he missed his chance, as Jack had to back away and let the bridge fall, harming nobody.

"BOO!" wailed Kelly. "Are you all right, Jack?!"

"I THINK SO!"

"Good! Then I can KILL YOU!"

...

That night, Miss Jenny had called a meeting of the Pack. It was a little bit like a gang meeting, which made Thomas wonder if they were going to beat the holy hell out of Jack for making the mistake. Jack was worried of much the same, having jumped in again and damaged his arms in the process. But Miss Jenny was oddly pleased. And for some reason, Ned wasn't punished despite making the same mistake as Jack had the previous day. The mind boggled.

"Spot on, Jack! You make a mother proud, jakers!"

"And a tank engine grateful." muttered Thomas, who had to admit he owed Jack his life.

"It's off ta the works with you, m'boy! The Pack can't have a front-loader with broken arms, now can they?"

"YOU MEAN I CAN STAY?!"

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Except for that time where I threatened to have you thrown out, but that was so yesterday, girlfriend."

"We're a cracking crew." muttered Kelly, angry that he had not been given the chance to die a noble death that day.

"AND all the better for having Jack with us." growled Isabella, realizing that she'd have to keep an eye on Kelly, lest he decide to drive off of a pier at some point just to spite everyone.

"Welcome to the pack, Jack!" cheered Alfie.

Jack was so excited, he didn't know what to do...so he just waved his arms up and down. Thus started the strangest dance party in Sodor's history. And as Thomas departed, on his way home to Tidmouth Sheds, he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit happy for Jack.

"Welcome to the Pack, Jack. Please try not to get cancelled, though."

...

ELSEWHERE.

Edward looked up. "F**k me, is it snowing AGAIN!? Thank god, it's almost Christma-" He paused as he read the script. "The hell is a winter holiday?!"