Fun fact about this episode. Originally I had planned to set this around Christmas time, so that I could move the series onto 2003 and avoid any real lingering continuity problems. Then I discovered that there were two other winter themed episodes at least left in the season, scattered throughout. So, once again, I'm relying on the Sudrian weather system to get me out of a jam here.
AaronCottrell97: Now there is an idea...oh, and yeah, winter holidays. That's going to be fun.
Reality Rejection Service: As I explain in the episode itself, it's not so much the term that annoys me, really it's not that big a deal. No, what surprises me is that it's pretty clear that the holiday that they are celebrating is Christmas, and will continue to be obvious for the remainder of the time it is used.
Game-Watch: That oak tree knows too much!
BronzeShield: I'm with you on that. A lot of the shots are unique, and this was the first episode I was introduced to including the Pack, so not a bad one overall.
Kamen Rider Necrom: Yeah, that one is shorter. This one is a bit longer, so I hope you enjoy.
MattPrice01: That's fine! I am honestly not expecting every episode this season to be a gut-buster. It's just the way the season works. Glad you enjoyed the bit at the end!
Radical Sandwiches: Oh Jack is VERY endearing...very endearing. And also, thanks for the nice reviews! WINTER IS COMING. And is in fact already here.
UGX7: Sorry about that! Hopefully it didn't ruin the thing for you guys!
CUE THE THEME!
It was winter holiday time on the Island of Sodor-
...
The door promptly fell off it's hinges, and Angelis, Allcroft and Mitton jumped as Edward stormed in angrily. "How did you get through the front door?" Mitton asked, weakly.
"Never mind that!" Edward looked at all of them, and put on his best fake smile. "Now, I think we need to talk about this...seriously. I like the three of you. Really. True, you're no Ringo Starr-"
"Oh, ta, it's not like the press don't automatically assume that the series always had Ringo in it. Not like I actually dedicate my life to this sort of thing!" snapped Angelis.
"-but you're all people who I admire and respect for making this series a really, really, REALLY good one, one that sets the bar for kids show's in this country." Edward's smile dropped. "However, we need to have words about the new episode."
"Yes?" Allcroft sighed, tapping her hand against the desk.
"It is set, according to you, around about Christmas time, correct?"
"That is the idea."
"First of all, IT'S AUGUST! I know the weather is a little insane this time of year, but come on!" Edward grunted, and then admitted. "But whatever, I get it that you want to show it at a later date. What I don't get is why we're dancing around the subject. It's CHRISTMAS. All I see in the cue cards which you are routinely forcing us to use nowadays, is Winter Holidays."
"Yes."
"Winter. Holidays."
"There's a problem with this?"
"...Okay, let me back up a little here. This? This is a minor blip. I'm not saying that this is anything to get too worked up about." Edward paused. "Point of the matter is, we're doing this after six seasons? People know that we celebrate Christmas, Britt! Our first three seasons showed how we celebrate the holiday on the Island! Hell, I don't believe in God, and I celebrate the shit out of it! There is nothing wrong with calling it Christmas!"
"I agree."
"Then why are you making us say WINTER HOLIDAYS?!" Edward fumed. "I wouldn't be so angry, except you've inevitably opened up a can of worms. This is going to dog us for a long time. Oh, and also-" He pointed to the footage "-THAT IS A SODDING CHRISTMAS TREE! DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO START CALLING IT A WINTER HOLIDAY, BECAUSE THAT IS JUST RIDICULOUS."
"I always thought you a very liberal engine, Edward."
"Me?! I'M AS LIBERAL AS ANYONE! Edward the Liberal Engine was my original title! ...I'm just saying, maybe we shouldn't be acting like the word 'Christmas' is such a bad word. For hell's sake, we're not Richard Bloody Dawkins! Besides, it looks...silly."
"Fine. We'll edit it."
"Thank you." Edward paused. "Now, on another note, how do I get out of the house?"
...
Okay. Okay. Are we done? We are? Good.
It was cold, but the engines loved it. As can be seen by their smiles, frozen upon their faces not just by cold, but by sheer determination to not let it show how much pain they are in. They love this time of year, especially when the stations look jolly and gay in their WINTER HOLIDAY decorations. There is plenty of work, like passengers and parcels to be delivered, no matter what the weather, or how catchy the music is. Mike and Junior were earning their keep once again.
"Driver says that there's more bad weather on the way!" said Edward. "Which begs the question of whether or not there's some mad scientist with a weather generator messing things up something proper!"
"Soon be wearing our snowplows!" growled James.
"Ooooh, you'll enjoy that, won't you, Thomas?"
"Bite me, Henry. You know I won't! I hate it! I hate it I hate it I hate it!"
"Didn't we go over this five seasons ago?" muttered Edward, directly to the camera. The cameraman shrugged. They had no idea either of what was going on. And as Thomas puffed off, Edward sighed, and watched as more snow began to fall.
...
Sure enough, that night, the wind blew and the snow came tumbling down, crushing and smothering all in it's path, making it a veritable winter wonderland. Mike and Junior were lucky in that it only inspired them to make a title for their song. The next morning, the Fat Controller arrived, skidding and wailing along in his car. The engines were to have their snowplows fitted.
"Have your snowplows fitted!" he said. See? "And YOU! Protagonist! You're collecting something special at Callan for the feast on Toby's branch-line!" He paused, and then shrugged. "Why some idiots would have a feast on the actual tracks of that old tramway is beyond me. But still, do so! And have a happy WINTER HOLIDAY...MUS...Oh god, really? Are we doing this now?"
Thomas was excited about the special, less so about the snowplow. "Please sir, my plow is awkward and uncomfortable, do I have to wear it?"
"Thomas, you are awkward and uncomfortable every single day. And yet I have to tolerate you."
"Wow." said Thomas. "I walked right into that one."
"Besides, everyone has to wear one. EVERYONE."
...
The fitter helped with Thomas's snowplow. By helped, I mean they smacked it into his face. The snowplow had seen better days, and it had gone to seed faster than Thomas himself had. "We'll...er...have to try that again!" laughed the driver.
"STUPID BIG UGLY HORRIBLE LUMP OF CRAP! I HOPE YOU DIE!"
Henry began to cry.
"No damn it, I didn't mean YOU, Henry! HENRY! COME BACK HERE SO I CAN APOLOGIZE!" Thomas glared at the snowplow and spat at it. "Stupid bloody thing!" he hissed. "A POX UPON YOU!"
He was much happier when he arrived at Callan station. The surprise was a big WINTER-
...
Edward burst in, and the three of them held up their hands.
Slowly, Edward retreated, never moving his eyes from theirs.
...
Ahem!
The surprise was a big Christmas tree.
Edward nodded. Much better. "The tree's to stand in the middle of the village and have lights and everything! ...So, you know, an actual tree. Don't know why I assumed you didn't know what one was. Make sure you get it to Toby safely!"
"I will! Jeez, Dad!"
Edward stared at him. Thomas began to hurry off, for he feared that Edward would be mental on him. He could not have been more wrong. "HE CALLED ME DAD! HE CALLED ME DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Edward proceeded to spend the rest of the day crying from sheer joy, which made things very awkward around the yard, and confused the hell out of everyone.
After a long time of puffing along, Thomas finally arrived at the recently reopened Maithwaite. Toby was waiting there, and admired the tree. "The villagers are going to love it!" He declared. "I'm glad you've got the snow plow, I can't clear the snowdrifts by myself!"
And as they set off, the two of them began to reminisce together.
"Remember the party with Mrs Kyndley!"
"Oh yeah, I know! James drank seven beers! And he spent the next day being sick as a dog...and remember that sing song we had!? I've never heard Silent Night be butchered so badly!"
But as they were talking, Thomas failed to see a large rock hidden under all the snow. With a clang, the snowplow flipped to one side like a mousetrap gone haywire! "Oooh er!" He declared. "The plow's broken!"
The driver, getting really tired of having to do this, hit the brake hard. But with a crash, the snowplow caused a nearby water tower to collapse completely.
"What was that thing made of?!" spluttered Toby. "F**king PAPER!?"
"CINDERS AND ASHES!"
"Real helpful, Thomas!"
"Can't go any further! And there's no one to come and help us!"
"BUT THE VILLAGERS NEED THEIR TREE!" belted out Thomas, trying to win himself a BAFTA. "Let me try again! Please! I'll make it or bust!"
It wasn't easy, but Thomas forced his way through, determined to not let things end this way. Toby hurried after him, determined to make sure that the tanked up engine didn't screw things up somehow. Both of them tried as hard as they could, but one snowdrift after another popped up, blocking their way and making them fight like mad dogs to get through. It was like Rocky, except the snow was not nearly as charismatic as any of the villains in those films. Save for Tommy Gunn. Anything was more charismatic than Tommy Gunn.
Finally, they arrived at the station! Thomas blew his whistle, and a mighty roar went up as the villagers laid eyes on their tree. "HURRAH!" They said. "HURRAH!"
"Oh, I am knackered!" wheezed Thomas, and he passed out.
...
"Oh, dear." muttered Duck. This did not inspire Thomas, as he had been summoned by the Fat Controller. The blue engine gulped as he pulled in. He didn't want to hear what Fatty had to say about the shattered snowplow.
Surprise surprise, he wasn't angry. "The villagers had a wonderful feast! I should know! I ate most of it! You were very brave to take on the snow without a plow! Course, it's not going to be a regular thing, but I appreciate your bravery!"
"Ta sir!"
"Oh, and also...no spares. So, you'll just have to make do without one!"
"YIPPEE!" bellowed Thomas.
...
"No contact with the others?" Duck shook his head, and Toby sighed. "Right. Well that's worrying."
"Ah well! All's well that end's well, that's what I say!" Edward sighed and relaxed backwards. "And we'll never hear anything about winter holidays again!"
DUN DUN DA.
"Why the sudden dramatic music, lads? ...What? ...What do you know that I don't? ...Oh fu-"