I think this might be the show's last legitimately spooky Halloween episode of the classic series. At least, in my opinion, it's entirely possible that I've forgotten one. Therefore, it's a good enough time for me to introduce a character who is going to be very important to the story. And for the record, like the Fat Director, he is not entirely unoriginal. Let you ponder on that for a bit.
By the by, in your reviews, would you prefer me to explore some of the alternate universes in this story, or in Tales from Abridgement? Cause last time, one of the issues was that the parody and the story interfered too much, so I want to fix that as best as I can.
AaronCottrell97: Same here. And considering that it was around this time that the movie was released...yeah, it's a hell of a coincidence.
Reality Rejection Service: Damn straight! She's one vindictive force of nature, is karma!
Bronze Shield: Absolutely.
Game-Watch: Yeah, well, Diesel's a bit of a prat. A clever prat, but one none the less.
TrainManiac: Yeah, a lot of the things I've planted as hints back in the first volume will be coming into play here. As I said, I have a lot of plans prepared. Angelis going full-Yorkshire though is why I always like his Fat Controller voice more than any others...except maybe Baldwin's. Actually, GTAT is aways a way, but hopefully you enjoy this one just as well!
Kamen Rider Necrom: Pretty much!
Radical Sandwiches: RIGHT? It was like the story was originally intended for someone else completely. Don't get me wrong, it's a great episode, but Diesel doesn't feel nearly as Diesel-like as he usually does.
UGX7: Moore's films are definitely products of the time. But in many ways, I appreciate them all the more. They're fun, and there are those amongst them that I would legitimately call great examples of the franchise. Plus they were my first exposures to the franchise, and for that, I shall be forever grateful.
trestonfortson2016: Thank you. Yeah, if you take a look at them, just bear in mind that they are products of the time they were made in (The Connery ones especially), so there will be stuff in there that does raise an eyebrow. But they are great stuff. And Roger Moore was and always will be the best.
Hughie96: Thank you!
CUE THE THEME!
For once, it was actually the time of year that it was supposed to be on the Island of Sodor. In this case, Halloween. The engines look forward to Halloween, as it is the only time of the year when scaring people is kinda encouraged. Hence there are often many hi-jinks that ensue. These include:
-Regular attempts by Gordon and James to mess with Edward by moving his glass of beer every time he turned his back.
-Henry getting freaked out by Salty and Percy messing around with the Flying Kipper.
-Endless amounts of horror movie marathons.
They also love the Fat Controller's fireworks, kept from the public eye until this time of year as Hatt tends to get a little bit power mad and sets them off in people's is apparently illegal. Go figure. Also, the children dressing up as wizards and witches. We'll ignore the ones who came as Frankenstein's Monster, Mummy's and Devil's though, I guess.
They also love Edward's spooky stories.
...
"Come on guys." sighed Edward. "Everytime I tell one of these, you get all sarcastic on me. What if I don't do one this year?"
"Now Edward-" said Henry, faux-kindly "-don't make us use peer pressure."
"I'm not going to do it."
"DO IT EDWARD DO IT EDWARD DO IT EDWARD DO IT EDWARD DO IT EDWARD DO IT EDWARD-"
"ALL RIGHT YOU...lovely people." Edward shouted through gritted teeth. "All right, now this is a horror story...
...
THIRTY MINUTES LATER.
"And they say, on Halloween Nights like this one, the ghost engine returns to the Smelters Yard, still searching for his lost whistle...and if you go there on that night, then he'll take your instead!"
"Ooooh."
"Aaaaah."
"Spooky."
"SEE! You're being sarcastic again!" Edward looked upset.
"Well, I'm sorry, Edward, but it is a bit silly." Duck rolled his eyes. "Like, for example, the fact that the ghost engine appears to be just Donald minus his tender and with a red filter thrown on him."
"That's the artist's rendering! It's far more spectral than that!" Edward looked grumpy. "Right, that's it. I'm going to meet up with Toby and Douglas at Wellsworth. We're going to eat sweets, gorge ourselves on horror movies both great and silly and have a fun time as friends who don't make fun of each other! Goodnight!" And off he stormed.
"I feel so bad." Henry said, completely deadpan.
The Fat Controller arrived soon after. "THOMAS, PERCY AND DUCK!"
"Turn it down a little, sir." said Duck, mildly.
"SORRY DUCK, I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING! CAN'T HEAR A WORD! I HAVE A SPECIAL JOB FOR YOU. CHUFF OFF TO THE SMELTERS AND GET SCRAP! ...WHY I WAITED UNTIL NIGHT TIME, I HAD NO IDEA."
"Oh boy." said Duck. He was savvy to the ways of the Halloween episode.
"ON HALLOWEEEEN!?" shrieked Percy, hamming it up something fierce.
"DON'T WORRY! YOU SHALL BE BACK IN TIME FOR MY FIREWORKS! HO HO HO!"
"Oh, that's not what he's worried about." Thomas grinned, slyly.
"Now, Thomas-" warned Duck "-do you not remember the other times that you've tried this plot? I seem to recall you spending the night in the sheds whimpering for most of the night last time."
"That was different. CAUSE PERCY'S A SCAREDY ENGINE!"
"What wit." muttered Gordon.
"I AM NOT!"
"You are."
"NOT!"
"ARE!"
"NOT!"
"ARE!"
"Oh, god, I've got to put up with THIS all the way to the Smelters!" ranted Duck as they set off.
...
At the Smelters, all Percy could think about was whether or not combining sponge cake and chocolate cake together would create the ultimate taste experience.
Also, Edward's ghost story.
Thomas knew that Percy was scared and teased him mercilessly. Well, even more so than usual. All the while, Duck tried to not euthanize himself. It was getting harder and harder with every day.
"OH MY, PERCY, WHAT IS THAT UP THERE? IS IT A SPOOK?!"
Thomas, as you can tell, is both a bit of an idiot, and not a very good actor.
"It's just a broken piece of scrap!" snapped Percy nervously. So nervously in fact that most of his words sort of began to merge into one giant one. His voice also appeared to have risen somewhat in recent times. "ISN'T IT, DUCK!?"
"Sure thing, Perce." said Duck, fixing firmly upon his Dan Dare paperback. Thomas had much more fun throughout the day.
"CAREFUL OR THE GHOST WILL GET YOU! BOOGAGAGAGAGA!"
"Oh real mature, Thomas! There's no such things as ghosts!" Percy looked, however, miserable. Duck sighed, and put away his book. Despite his best efforts not to, he couldn't help but feel sorry for his pal.
"Come on, mate. It'll be fine. Thomas is just having his 'I'm a Dick who has his own show' phase." Duck frowned. "Now that I think about it, he goes through that phase every few years or so. Wonder if that's a trend or something. Anyway. Nobody's brave all the time! Take me for instance! Why, just like week..."
...
LAST WEEK.
"Ah, now this is nice." Duck sighed, and leaned back in his shed. He glanced down at his book and read out loud:
"-And so James moaned as Henry rammed his flying kipper down his-"
Duck slammed the book down and stormed out of the shed in search of it's other usual occupant, who was currently giggling. "OLIVER YOU BASTARD!"
...
"Slash fic, man. It can mess with your head." Duck shuddered. "Now I'm paranoid that Oliver's done similar stuff with all my other books. That was just Winnie the Pooh! What's he going to do for Silence of the Lambs!?" He stared off into the distance before snapping back to the matter at hand. "Sorry, we were talking about something, weren't we?"
"I AM NOT. A. SCAREDY. ENGINE."
"Course not." said Duck sympathetically. "I tell you what it is, it's the tablets. They're messing with you a little bit. I told the doctor not to give them to you at this late a time, next thing you'll know, you'll be tripping on the walls and moonwalking all over the place."
Percy moved off, while Duck thoughtfully checked his copy of Watership Down. And then quickly shut it again, determined to make Oliver pay.
Eventually, the job was nearly done. "WELL DONE!" declared Mr Price, the foreman. "Now I need one engine to finish up!" He gave them all an evil eye, which was rather odd to say the least.
Duck instantly saw the chance for payback on Thomas. "Please sir!" he said, using his most grovelling voice imaginable. "I'm sure that Thomas is just dying to stay the night here!"
"WHA-I mean, of course!" cried Thomas, realizing that his (all in his head) status of being the alpha dog was being challenged. "I'm not a scaredy engine!" He was very confused when Duck began snickering to himself under his breath. Both engines left.
At which point, the doors slammed shut.
"Well that's...unnecessary." Thomas muttered to himself. "I mean, what if I need to get the trucks out in time?! And...And..." He fell silent. Every sound, now that he was alone, was spooky. The sound of an old cab tilting in the wind sounded like the rattle of chains. The sparks flying hissed and crackled, like the wheezy whisper of someone long gone. The wind blew strongly, and a cobweb floated down. It brushed against Thomas.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah-okay, I'm fine. I'm fine." Thomas said. "No such thing as ghosts, do you hear me? No. Such. Thing." He smiled. It didn't last long. "Come on, how did that song go? Ah. Boo boo, choo choo...Don't be afraid of the dark. It's easily explained you see Why things go-"
Bump.
Thomas froze. "WHO'S THERE?! You want to come out, and FIGHT?!" He was so busy looking for ghosts that he rushed backwards, not looking where he was going. He apparently didn't notice the massive red light that was shining upon him. He also apparently didn't notice the chains, which were like ghost fingers. Which on a side note, would be an awesome name for a biscuit.
"GHOST'S GOT ME!" Thomas wheeshed. "Now...Now calm down! How did that song go? Oh yeah, closed his eyes, counted to ten and remembered the wise old owl-"
Said wise old owl swooped down in front of Thomas, causing the Number One engine to almost do a number two out of sheer fright. At which point, an old steam whistle suddenly activated, hissing steam everywhere. "THE GHOST WHISTLE! I AM SLAYED!" screamed Thomas, and he ran off wildly screaming like a southern belle out of an old black and white movie. For some reason, the doors opened for him, and he shot through, the sight of two pinpricks of light in the darkness spurring him on even faster, so fast that he didn't realize that he had lost his lantern.
"THE GHOST ENGINE IS AFTER ME!"
If you asked the duck at the watermill what the engine was babbling on about, he would merely respond with "Quack." Because it's a duck. It would, however, be a very confused quack.
...
"It was a bit of a dick move, teasing you like that." said Duck, thoughtfully.
"Ah well, he was only playing." said Percy, magnanmous after having escaped from the death trap that was the Smelters. "I hope he hurries up! He might miss the fireworks!"
"HE'S AFTER ME!"
"I don't think he'll be late." snickered Duck, as Thomas rushed through the station and plunged into the darkness.
"Did you time that?"
"No, it was just a great bit of bloody luck! And let me just say, it's made this night entirely! Come on, let's see if we can't get an explanation from him!" And so they headed off until they joined the other engines for the fireworks. Edward had stopped by briefly to stock up on more snacks for his and Toby's movie night.
"Where's Thomas? He'll miss this!"
"It would serve him right for that teasing." muttered Duck.
"Yeah, but-" Percy hesitated. "-well, you know him. What if he's accidentally gone and hit a wall somewhere? Or come off the rails? Or both?" He shook his head. "Nah. I'm going to find him."
"You're a good engine, Perce- OI! OLIVER! A WORD WITH YOU, NOW!"
Percy found Thomas quivering under a blanket in the shed. "Er, are you okay, Thomas?"
"ME?!" shrieked Thomas, the blanket being thrown off with some force. "I'M FINE! I'M DANDY! I'M BEANO, AS A MATTER OF FACT! I'M THE HAP-HAP-HAPPIEST KID IN THE WORLD! I FEEL LIKE I'M IN F**KING DISNEYLAND RIGHT NOW! WHOOP-DE-DOO, I CAN JUST EXPLODE FROM HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW!"
"...You don't look happy."
"Pah." Thomas, most of his tension having gone out with his rant, went limp. "So I was a bit of a dick to you today."
"Yeah."
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
"Duck was right. We all get scared sometimes."
"And say sorry as well! Come on, we can watch the fireworks just as well from here! And we don't have to listen to Gordon all night!"
And he was right.
On a unrelated note, Mr Price was later arrested by four teenagers dressed in sixties-esque clothing and their dog for running a counterfeiting scheme behind closed doors, using the legend of the old ghost to cover up this business. When asked for a quote on the matter, Mr Price did remark "I would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for those meddling kids, and their dumb dog."
...
A few seconds later, long after everyone had gone home for the night, two pinpricks of light slowly faded into existence. They peered one way. Then the other. And with a quiet chuckle, it's attention turned to a lantern, dropped by Thomas in his fright.
And then he looked up, past the roof, past the sky, past even the space, to an audience that only he could see.
"Happy Halloween." he said, and along with the lamp, he vanished into nothing.