Glad to see that little cliffhanger got everyone so interested! And I'll say right now, there are going to be some loose threads that are going to be tied up from the previous volume.
AaronCottrell97: Yeah, I'd agree with you there. It's weird, because Season 8 is probably the season that I think was closest to being good. Perhaps if David Mitton had stayed on, the music was the original stuff, it would be good. Not great, but decent. But there are some decent episodes in that first season of HIT's.
Reality Rejection Service: By this point, what doesn't exist in this wacky universe?
Bronze Shield: One of my favorite tropes is when characters find out the very weird stuff that they've been involved in. This was one such example of taking the relatively strait-laced character of Duck and having him...react.
Game-Watch: Same.
TrainManiac: Ha! Yeah, that was a fun scene to write.
Kamen Rider Necrom: Hmm...an interesting theory. Let's see, shall we?
Radical Sandwiches: I'm a simple man. I see praise for a joke, I extend it! And yeah, Thomas was an ass that time around.
UGX7: Holy shit man, you too!? I love Watership Down, probably one of my favorites! The film's great, and I'm curious to see how they'll adapt it for the new show...also, you really don't want to know what Oliver did.
MattPrice01: You guessed correctly! And, er, as to what this story exactly is? ...I'm not entirely sure myself.
CUE THE THEME!
In the summertime when the weather is hot, you can stretch right up and touch the sky. When the weather's fine, you got women, you got women on your mind-
Ahem, sorry. Waxing lyrical there.
Anyway it isn't summertime, despite what the script might try and convince you. No, it's November. Seriously. Just...just take our word for it, all right? It was Halloween last episode.
But enough about that. It was the time of year when the Best Kept Station Contest came around once more, where the stationmasters decided to out-do each other on how pretty they could make their stations looked, before they returned to their usual state of looking like a crack den. The engines love to help to, as it gets them out of doing more boring work that's less rewarding.
"So, Oliver." said Stepney as he passed him "Duck let you back in the shed yet?"
"No." Oliver was looking grumpy. "I didn't get saved from scrap for this!"
"Of...course not, Oliver."
...
One morning, the Fat Controller came to the sheds. "EH, BAH GUM." He said at random. No one bothered to comment on it, they had gotten far more used to this over the last few months. "I want Percy ta collect some flower bushes for Lower Tidmouth Station!"
"Some what?"
"Bushes!" Carlin grinned. "Perfect timing. I could have used a hit off this thing."
"They are at Maithwaite!"
"Oh balls." said Percy, and he set off.
...
"Okay, Gordon, what are we doing here? It's sunset. I've got things to be doing. I have a life outside of being your punching bag, you know."
"Pfft. No you don't." Gordon didn't see the slight shadow that crossed Edward's face at that. "And as to what it is that we're doing here...I've decided I need a shed."
"Gordon, this is a new level of arrogance. We're not getting you a shed all to yourself!"
"Oh, no no no, not like that. ...Although that is an idea that could work. I am, after all, the most important engine on the planet. Why should I have to share it with all of you?" Gordon paused. "Nah. I'm talking a garden shed. Where else am I going to keep all of my stuff?"
Edward blinked. "Where we all keep our stuff. In our sheds. The ones we live in."
"What?! And run the risk of having James or Percy mess it up!? Ha! I think not!" Gordon grinned. "And Shed World is the place to find a real shed for all of my stuff! You're here to carry it! I need to think my plans through, I can't waste even the iota of strength it would take me to pull it along."
"I hate you sometimes, Gordon."
...
Percy puffed anxiously through the fog. "OOOH ER!" He wailed. He doesn't like travelling to Maithwaite at night. He is afraid that there will materialize large lime carts that seek to cover him in horrible stuff that takes ages to come out. Also, hoodlums.
Said hoodlums resided, for the most part, in an area where a junction ran past a spooky old quarry-mine. One would assume that they would make up their mind as to whether or not it was a quarry or a mine, but no. Quarry-mine.
Carlin was pleased, however. He wanted to get more crack from the dealer who worked in the old mine to cope with the relentless pains of old age. He was hoping the exact opposite of Percy, who was praying that the signal was set at green. Neither he, nor the fireman, wanted to stop anywhere near that mine without a good set of bodyguards with them.
Unfortunately, the plot had to happen. The signal was red.
"You know-" said Percy casually, in an attempt to stave off fear "-I don't quite recall there being a mine of this size being on the Island before."
"Must be another bloody mystery." muttered the fireman, as he watched Carlin rush over to the old building.
At which point, something very odd happened. A large smokestack beside the mine had been standing there, puffing away as per usual...when it began to sink into the ground. Not collapse, like most things would do. No, one moment it was there, the next it had slid down like a fireman going down a pole.
"Did...did that just happen?"
"BOUNCING BUFFERS!" shouted Percy, who had a stronger reaction than the fireman. Carlin climbed back on board, high as all hell and none the wiser as to the disappearance of the chimney. Which meant he was either blind, deaf, dumb, or all three at the same time.
The second the signal changed, Percy was off like a shot.
...
The next day, he was telling the twins about the missing chimney. Both of them found this hilarious, for some reason. They were bored at Maron, and so decided to screw around with Percy some more.
"It's tha naughty gnomes!" said Donald, randomly plucking a mythical creature out of the air...or out of his arse, same difference.
"Wee fat men with big feet! They make straaaange things happen!" Douglas was hamming it up a little bit for the benefit of the smirking trucks, who for once weren't giving the game away with their cackling. "It's legendary what they do ta ye! They steal yon wheels and pinch yer funnels! That's how yon diesels came to be, victims of the gnome crisis of 1937!"
"They were the ones who assassinated tha Archduke at the beginning of World War One!"
"They shot JFK!"
"They spoke ta that wee crazy bastard who thought Catcher in the Rye was telling them ta murder people!"
"They commissioned Eldorado!"
Percy, who was suffering from injuries sustained during the Magic Railroad crisis, suffered a little bit from what they called being an idiot. He didn't want to believe what the two obviously lying engines was saying, but he wasn't sure.
He puffed off, leaving Donald and Douglas to watch in amusement as Edward pulled seventeen sheds behind him, wheezing all the way. "Bloody Gordon!" He hissed as he passed.
...
At Dryaw station, the Fat Controller was drunk on the platform. He made up the excuse that he was waiting for Percy as a reason to vent some of the bitterness that had come about because of the (aptly named) bitter ale he had drunk earlier that day. "I want you...heheheheheh...to go and collect some trucks from t'abandoned mine! Again!"
"Y-yes sir." said Percy. Carlin was, once again, the only happy person there. He was glad that he got to get high twice in one week.
"Right." hissed the fireman. "We get in and out, no problems, no fuss, just get the trucks and then go home." Percy agreed with this plan. Carlin did not, as the second they drew in, he hurried off to take a whiz near the mine.
"SPOOKY!" said Percy, stating the obvious.
At which point, the old building that Carlin had just exited (Having used the toilets) promptly began to sink back into the ground in a similar fashion to the chimney. Carlin was, once again, oblivious to this, wiping his hands on Percy's buffers as he clambered back on.
At which point, he turned around, and spat out his newly bought drink. "The F**K is that?!" He shouted.
"OH! Now you notice!" shrieked Percy. "DOUBLE BOUNCING BUFFERS! I WILL MAKE THIS A SAYING!" And so scared was he, that he rushed forward and smacked his head right into the trucks. At this point, worrying about head trauma was sort of academic.
And then he looked up.
"NAUGHTY GNOMES!"
"Have you been looking at the internet again?" slurred Carlin, now with a concussion. "Cause you can find all sorts of shit on there!" Then he looked up. His inebriated mind decided that this was a wise thing to freak out about, especially the two that had randomly landed feet up without any damage. "AAAAARGH! RETREAT! RETREAT!"
And they did. Swiftly.
...
They arrived back at Lower Tidmouth, everyone bar the fireman screaming bloody murder and weeping for their immortal souls. The Fat Controller wondered if he was still drunk, and if so, could he please become sober soon? This was awkward.
"AAAAAAAH!"
"Carlin-"
"AAAAAAAH!"
"Carlin."
"AAAAAAAAH!"
"CARLIN SHUT THE HELL UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR DRINKING PRIVELEGES!" This silenced Carlin. "Now, what's going on?"
"THE MINE SANK AND EVERYONE'S DEAD! ...I'm not sure in what order that goes, but-"
"IT'S THE GNOMES!" wailed Percy. "THE NAUGHTY GNOMES ARE COMING TO GUT US IN OUR SLEEP! AND WEAR THOSE GUTS AS NECKLACES! No doubt this is retribution for all the times we shoved them besides ponds where they did not belong! IT'S LEGENDARY!"
"Oh piss off." said the Fat Controller, who was exhausted. "The buildings are collapsing into old mine shafts, it's perfectly natural. If unsafe, I'll grant you."
"BUT I SAW THE GNOMES!" practically shrieked Percy.
"Well you would. They are garden gnomes."
"...Garden...gnomes?" Percy stared at the Fat Controller in bafflement.
"To decorate this station. They're not scary, they bring good luck, supposedly."
Percy thought for a moment. And then he came up with a sudden realization. "YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, AREN'T YOU SIR!? I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE A LITTLE TOO SQUAT AND FAT TO BE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING! YOU WERE MERELY A SCOUT FOR THE GNOMEPOCALYPSE!"
"Percy, we're going back there right now to show you."
"I'M NOT SCARED! I'M NOT SCARED! I AM! I AM!" Percy argued as he set off. As he arrived, he waited for something spooky to happen. But it didn't. The Fat Controller was right. The Garden Gnomes were far more ugly than scary. So they were loaded up and brought back quickly.
And later that week, the stationmaster thanked Percy for the victory. "We'd not have won if it weren't for you making a tit of yourself! Again!"
"Oh. Ta. Er...sorry, about that, sir. Naughty gnomes can be lucky after all."
"Fat and Squat, eh? We need to have a word. All of us." Carlin cursed as the Fat Controller grabbed him by the ear.
None of them noticed the faces on the gnomes change ever so slightly.
...
Silence reigned over the ghost town of Trumpton. The workmen looked at each other nervously, awaiting the arrival of...that thing.
And then, said thing materialized. First one pupil, then the other. For a moment, it glanced at the humans, who quickly looked away, before making it's way swiftly and silently to the entrance way of the old town hall.
Everyone there snapped to attention the second that it entered.
"Where is the Captain?" It's voice was a creaky one, no more than a hushed whisper. And yet it carried clearly across the room, more so in fact than had it been shouting.
Reginald, the Captain's second in command, looked at the thing. "Well, your worship-fullness, the captain's...gone off somewhere."
"His personal odor is of no concern to me."
"What? Wait, no, I mean he's...gone somewhere."
"Oh." The thing quickly covered it's embarrassment over such a mistake with another question. "When will he return?"
"Uh...soon?"
That was not a good enough answer. But it was one that the thing had to deal with. Slowly, it deposited the lantern down on top of a large pile of other lanterns of varying sizes and ages. And then it moved forward slowly, and reached into the body of a battered old narrow gauge engine.
And Ivo Hugh jerked up and stared in fascination at them.
"In his absence, shall we discuss the plan once more?"
...
The old woman who answered the door was soon to regret that she had ever done so. Then again, she was going to regret many things over the course of the remaining five minutes of her life. "You! But that can't-"
"Hello there, Ellen. Now...where's my son?"
Yes, that is Captain Zero at the end of the chapter. Yes, I will explain what's going to happen. Yes, this is going to be very, VERY important for later on.
Also of note, Gordon and Edward's search for a shed will continue throughout the series. Just to build up another plot I've had in mind for the two of them.
And for those of you who remain from the previous volume, you will recall that Ivo Hugh's body was never recovered from the Other Railway during the events of Magic Railroad. And you'll also recall that one of the glimpses of the Multiverse offered up a pair of glowing eyes shrouded completely in darkness. Say hello to another threat. No name for it yet though. That would be spoiling.