Another impromptu tribute in this one: This time to Peter Sallis. Wallace and Gromit and Last of the Summer Wine are both big parts of who I am, and I have to say, it's going to feel weird knowing that he's no longer in the world. Hence, the much referenced Yorkshire comedy is finally getting a proper mention as tribute. It's small, but it's something.
Uh, this episode! Yeah, this is a good one. I like it, it's enjoyable. I think the music is great, especially the theme for the titular balloon. I think James overreacting once again is great, even if it does reach the point of parody now. Oh, and there are quick references to the Red Balloon music video, with the editing to appear in Making Someone Happy and Train Stops Play. Just for fun.
Oh, random question that I'm just going to ask because I'm bored. Who is your favorite character from the story? Again, you don't need to do this, I'd just be curious to find out your opinions!
AaronCottrell97: I know! Bizarre, right? I'm glad to hear that! As you can tell, it's taking a turn in this chapter. Again, for the moment it's just comedic...but who knows? ...FORESHADOWING.
Reality Rejection Service: Eh...sort of. It'll be explained in more detail later, as per usual. And the build up COMMENCES! Honestly, Edward's being quite tame. It's not going to go well for him in this chapter, either.
Bronze Shield: Yeah, going into Magic Railroad, that was something that I wanted to explore. Considering that by that point, Diesel had been written off in a decent manner, it would have been interesting to have them become the more manipulative baddies. But no, petty stuff is what they'll be doing.
Game-Watch: Oh don't worry. Things are going to begin to build up to a crux.
UGX7: One of those questions will be answered by the last episode of the season. The other...well, I'm going to say that it'll be revealed fully around about Season 8 or 9. I just don't want to give the game away yet.
Radical sandwhiches: That's a completely legitimate worry to have! But the thing is, I do have a plan to establish the Malignance as being of a different kettle of fish to the Malevolence over time. The nickname itself is only going to be used up until I reveal what exactly it is, and by then, you should have an idea of how they are different.
MattPrice01: Maybe it's just because I was convinced that Angelis's...somewhat below average performances started to an extent in Season 7, but I was surprised by how fun his narration is. He's putting more effort into it than Alec Baldwin, an actual Hollywood actor! Oh, and that Edward/Gordon stuff? It is leading into that, to be sure. But there is something else that I've had in mind, something that ties in with the arrival of a certain Stirling engine in the next season. Fun fact, when the time comes, I am going to ANALYSE the shit out of my decision to so. So, just a warning! XD.
CUE THE THEME!
Last of the Summer Wine Night was usually a somewhat calm affair. It was something to usually calm down the rather excitable engines of the shed with something that wasn't exactly going to give them heart attacks. Of course, it had all gone a bit weird since Bill Owen had died, but it was still somewhat enjoyable to watch. It had Peter Sallis in it, and Peter Sallis equaled impressive to all the engines.
Usually, however, was the key word in the sentence.
"I don't see-" seethed Edward, rage hidden behind a rictus like grin that was weakening by the second "-why it is I have to go out and get the shed NOW! It's freezing out there, and we can just as easily do it in the afternoon!"
"And risk going out in inclement weather!?"
"It is night!" Edward said, barely restraining himself. "Night-time's clemency has never been a factor in any of our decisions! This is just a way to make me suffer, isn't it?" He turned, hoping to find some comfort from some engine. But they were all busy watching the TV. Sensing that his staying here would only make matters worse, he reluctantly dragged himself outside, and shivering, set off into the distance.
...
It's summer holiday time on the Island of Sodor...in a parallel universe where this takes place in the summer. Because the next episode is set in WINTER! So we're going to grin and bear our way through the next four minutes because the timing is all off! I WANT LOGIC FROM MY SHOW ABOUT TALKING TRAINS DAMN IT!
Ahem. Sorry. Long day.
Holidaymakers come from far and wide to enjoy the beauty of the Island. And then they leave quickly afterwards because it's not nearly as impressive as the brochures make it out to be. It's the busiest time of the year for all of the Fat Controller's engines. Apart from all the other times that we will be told the exact opposite. I wish they'd make up their minds.
Thomas was excited. When isn't he, I hear you ask. He had been chosen to take a special special special that was special to Dryaw Airfield. Percy, wanting to see if it was something that could ruin Harold the Helicopter's day, arrived cheerfully.
"WHHHHHAT have you got there?!" He said, trying to hype it up as much as possible.
"A BALLOON!" said Thomas, also trying to do the same. It wasn't as effective as he had hoped. "Just...just roll with the punches, okay?"
"Fair enough. Is it a party balloon!?"
"NO, YOU SILLY BILLY!" Thomas laughed and laughed and laughed until he began to wish he were dead, before stopping. "It's a very special, unique, super-secret-awesome-great balloon. One that they shall write songs about for some reason. And yet Henry's yet to get a single song about him!" And he sped off before this painful segment could get any more awkward.
...
As he puffed off, Thomas saw-
"LOOK AT ME! I'M TIGER BLOODY MOTH!"
-that guy, and arrived at the airfield with plenty of time to kill. So he sat and watched as the enthusiasts, who had little to no life left in them outside of this, puffed hot air into the balloon.
"You know-" said Thomas, casually "-it just really looks like a normal balloon, really. Except, you know, it looks massive because of the perspective of the shot." He paused. "I'll shut up now-"
"WHAT THE FRICKETY FRICK IS THAT!?"
"Ah, hello James. Still discovering Internet Speak, I see." Thomas looked back to the balloon. "It's a hot air balloon. Keep talking and you'll give it more power!" he paused. "Cause...cause hot air, right? ...Fine. It's taking holiday makers round the Island."
"BUT THAT'S OUR JOB!" raged James. "THAT BALLOON IS TRYING TO TAKE MY SPOT ON THE SHOW!"
"Certainly could act better than you."
"WHAT WAS THAT, DRIVER OF MINE?!"
"You heard."
And then as if by magic, or...you know, the law of physics, the balloon rose up into the air.
"But WHAT-" cried James "-will happen if this...balloon, if that is it's real name, decides to take our passengers!? WHAT. WILL. HAPPEN. TO. US. THEN?!"
"Very dramatic James. It would be more effective if you hadn't raised the complaints about Harold, Harvey, several Diesels, the advent of the Smart Car, that one time that hang-gliding became a craze-"
"CAN'T HEAR YOU GOING TO SPREAD THE GOSPEL!" And so James shoved off. Thomas, despite his best efforts, couldn't help but feel a twinge of worry. And then he felt extremely stupid because it was a balloon, for gods sake.
The balloon could be seen by all. Duck was staring at it for so long, wondering whether or not it was an enemy weapon of mass destruction, that he ran into the back of Stepney.
"Ooof! I didn't come here for this, you know!" Stepney sighed. "Well, you want to keep watching this?"
"I've got nothing at all better to do."
"WHY-" cried Donald, who was feeling like saying something particularly stupid today "-tis a floating basket with folk innit!"
Douglas rolled his eyes and poured as much sarcasm as he could muster in his own contribution. "What ever will they think of next?" Because apparently the concept of a hot air balloon had never been even conceived of on the Island, traffic halted, fire-engines came to a stop and Gordon temporarily forgot about being an arsehole. It was a miracle.
...
At the level crossing, Thomas and James had met up again. They waited for Jorge, the Spanish cousin of George the Steamroller, to cross. And they were still bitching to each other about the red balloon.
"Well, I mean, if it takes out passengers away, what use will there be for us then?" Thomas intended there to be much sarcasm in his voice. He didn't quite pull it off.
"Passengers should travel on rails, instead of in silly balloons! WE MUST SHUN THOSE WHO WOULD CHOOSE SUCH A THING! SHUN THEM! SHUN THE-Aye up?"
The balloon was coming down at a tremendous rate. "WE'RE OUT OF HOT AIR!" wailed the balloonist.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH." screamed James, as per usual, the most level headed of engines. "Wha's happening?! OOH ER, I DON'T LIKE IT! MAKE IT GO AWAY-MMMPH!"
"Ah well-" sighed Thomas, as the red balloon covered James completely "-there are worse ways to go. And at least I'll get one hell of a story to tell at his funeral!"
James, meanwhile, was so scared that he:
A: Passed out.
B: Let out such a long and loud whoosh of steam that flooded the balloon and suffocated two or three people in his cab. But on the plus side, it ended up lifting the balloon up again, back into the air.
"Well done, James!" said the air-deprived driver, trying to recover his somewhat worse-off fireman. "Your hot air has been useful at last!"
"James, you boob!" snapped Thomas. "You have DESTROYED everything and now the red balloon shall get all of the passengers!" He didn't really care that much. Any excuse to mess with James, and/or to have an excuse to blame him for their eventual failure.
"I didn't mean too!" wailed James, for once aware that there was no way to foist this onto someone else. And where ever he went for the rest of the day, he saw the balloon carrying holiday-makers, as if to mock him.
His rage was unlike that anyone had ever seen before. "RAILS-" He roared "-ARE BETTER THAN HOT AIR ANYDAY-OH F**K A SHEEP!"
One delay later, he arrived at the station to see the Fat Controller, having been lifted from a large ditch by Butch, standing there waiting for him. "Well done, James!"
"BUT NOW THE PASSENGERS SHALL RIDE IN THE HOT AIR BALLOON AND ALL SHALL BE LOST! LOST I SAY!" The Fat Controller laughed. "Well I'm glad you're having a nice time of it, sir! IT'S OUR LIVES WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!"
"Yes James, they will come to see the balloon. And they'll need a ride home...in a train what a shocker!"
James was delighted, and for the rest of the day, he extolled hard the virtues of our one true lord and savior The Big Red Balloon. It was even rumored that thanks to his somewhat overhyped declarations, an entire cult started up around said Big Red Balloon. Rumors came about regarding the Red Balloon's involvement in events such as Mrs Kyndley's ride in Harold, or the cricket game that Stepney had interrupted. Legend had it that it was thanks to a combination of Cyril the Fogman and the Red Balloon that the Malevolence was destroyed.
They were busier than ever, the engines, as the Fat Controller was right.
Whenever James sees the Red Balloon, he whistles and toots. Some say this is because he is proud of it. Others say he wants the people in it to die so that he may claim it for his own. This interpretation is helped by the fact that at night, he dreams that he can fly like the Red Balloon.
What I'm basically saying is that the Red Balloon potentially needs a restraining order.
...
Meanwhile, somewhere between Aisle 1931 and Aisle 1940 of Shed World, a very confused blue mixed traffic engine stared at the map in befuddlement.
"I swear to God, next time, I'm just going to head off to the quarry and crash out there for a few weeks. It's far easier that way." He paused. "Besides, they'll come look for me soon...right?
Right?
...Riiiight?"
He paused. No one answered him.
"I'm going to die here." he stated, glumly.