And here's where another one of my ideas from Magic Railroad comes into play. Namely, the destruction of Crovan's Gate. Aside from getting rid of the Works and allowing us to prepare for the Steamworks to arrive, it also gave me a chance to explain away the shift in how the Skarloey Railway works from Season 6 onwards.
AaronCottrell97: Yeah, but as a forerunner to that episode, I think last episode did fine.
Reality Rejection Service: It's going to be big when it does happen.
Bronze Shield: Pretty much!
Game-Watch: He kinda is. But...well, there are consequences.
UGX7: Give him time, and he will. Oh god, will he ever...
MattPrice01: It is, isn't it!? It's a real shame.
JD145: I have watched JBS! And honestly...I really liked it! The characters were my favorite part, I'd love to see more of them in Season 22...if they can use them, I mean. And I've already got tons of ideas for what to do if I ever get that far.
LoneDrifter213: Hope it lives up to expectations!
GreatWeestern1522: That's kind of the idea, at the moment. If a bit more emotional.
CUE THE THEME!
"We have an issue."
Edward's eyes, looking a little duller than they had previously been, snapped up to meet Duck's. "What? Serious issue or 'Haha, Gordon's fallen in the well' issue."
"Serious. Hatt, Britt, David and the Railway Board have been in that office for close to an hour now." Duck was worried. "The Duchess should have gotten back to me by this point, which means either she's decided we're not worth the risk-"
"Or something bad's happened...yeah." Edward sighed. "Where's Toby?"
"I think something came up with that...you know, condition he has. The chest thing? Think he needs to get something. Which means, matey, it's just you and I to see what's going on."
"Funny. I could have sworn I just saw Bertie taking a bunch of camera guys off."
Duck laughed. "Oh, that. Apparently, they want to get a few of the Narrow Gauge engines in on the action, so that they're not completely forgotten about...or turn into background characters. Can you imagine being turned into a background character, Butch?"
"OH YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, DO YOU!?"
...
Following the Battles of both Sodor and Shining Time, the Skarloey railway had been severely damaged, possibly more so than the standard gauge one had been. Several historic stations had been hit by the bombing runs, and had therefore been closed to try and reconstruct them. Crovan's Gate had been completely obliterated, and no one had been able to get through to examine the damage in more detail due to the severity of the blast. Therefore, most of the engines had been forced up into temporary accomadation in the mountains, where the old Culdee Fell railway had been located before it had quite literally fallen off the face of the earth.
To add to that, they were now a few engines down. Smudger, or Bertram, or whatever he called himself, had died painfully, while Duke's body had yet to be recovered from the ruin that was Crovan's Gate. And Sir Handel...well, he'd dropped off the face of the universe. They weren't sure how he had gotten off the Island (After being informed about them by Duck, Skarloey hazarded a guess that somehow he'd passed through one of those mysterious portals that popped up everywhere), but there had been reports of him popping at one of the few quarries that still used working steam engines, and was staying there for a time.
Not that anyone cared enough to look for him. Peter Sam had lost it when Rheneas had suggested it, and Peter Sam angry was something that no engine ever wanted to see again. It was like discovering that a butterfly could also eat your face, it was very distressing.
And so it was that one day, Rusty, Skarloey and Rheneas were called up to assist at the Incline Quarry. Apparently, they were supposed to be cheerful. Skarloey and Rheneas weren't.
"Do we have to?!" whined Rheneas, now in the 'man-baby' personality that he had developed recently.
"Yes!" snapped Rusty, a cheerful face plastered on. "We are going to work with Duncan AND ENJOY IT! Now pick up the pace!"
"Boyo, this is some real shit." Skarloey moaned. He hadn't gotten to eat recently, and was therefore staring at the nearby sheep with something approaching agonizing desire.
"Hurry up!" Rusty didn't want to be left on his own with a whimpering Rheneas and...well, Duncan. Not when there was an important job to be doing.
...
The engines enjoy working at the incline railway, particularly because it means getting out of the rather angry atmosphere in their more ramshackle sheds And also because they are rather childlshly excited about seeing the clever way trucks are...you know what, you know how it works, I know how it works, let's move on.
But there was always a catch to this sort of thing. And the catch's name was Duncan.
Being careful here was always something that you should do. Just ask Peter Sam. Or don't. His bad mood was so weirdly upsetting that it might destroy your day.
And Duncan didn't like being careful, as has been noticed before. He didn't like working here in general, always ready to go back to the Junction (The equivalent of the Sidings for littler engines) and get drunk as a skunk. This makes him even more careless than usual, and gets him into more than the usual amount of trouble.
Why, who can forget the memorable incident where he accidentally managed to, somehow, stack a ton of trucks atop each other for a monster truck to drive over? Or the time that he somehow managed to derail while acting as a middle engine, along with every other truck in front and behind him? Or somehow managing to shatter an entire truck just by shunting it the wrong way?
When Duncan failed, he failed hard.
Rusty had hoped that on this day, Duncan would at the very least try and stay out of trouble.
They were oh so very wrong.
"Ah'm a plain speaking engine!" huffed Duncan, after felling a few trees on accident. "So collect ye fooking trucks and get out of here, sharpish!"
"WAAAAAH! What a bossy boots!" sobbed Rheneas the Whinging Engine.
"Boyo, he's a pushy puffer, so he is! I'M AN ADULT." Skarloey was suffering a nervous breakdown. He hadn't been fed yet.
"Look! He just wants to get back to the bustle of the Junction. As do we all! So man up!" Rusty was feeling a little bit more angry than usual, mostly because of how tiring managing them could be.
But as the day went on, Duncan grew more and more demanding, hurrying everyone on not matter what, despite sustaining several concussions in the course of his work. "YER SUPPOSED TA BE HELPING ME!" He grumbled, in that voice that made Rusty's teeth set on edge. "But ye're as slow as snails! And just as slimy!"
"Well, we're proper workers!" snapped Rusty. Already, they were beginning to feel their fifth migraine of the day coming on. "We're following the rules like we're supposed to!"
"We can't send up more than four trucks at a time!" parroted Rheneas. Skarloey was just too hungry to speak. Already he was beginning to see his brother as a large and very annoying chicken drumstick.
"THEN WORRRK, FASTER!" growled Duncan, who promptly crashed through a wall, so angry was he.
...
Later, after briefly becoming a mole and travelling underground, Duncan began to work the incline. "HA! AH'LL SHOW YE HOW FAST A REALLY USEFUL ENGINE CAN-A WORK!"
Rusty groaned, and watched as Duncan biffed one truck into another, and then another, until at last, he had the maximum four trucks that the incline could handle. We'll ignore the fact that we've seen at least five trucks on said incline before, because quite frankly, the way that the quarry worked was ramshackle at best.
"Nothing ta it!" He bragged to Rusty.
"Careful, mind. The trucks'll pay you back...as will the foreman when he sees what you've done to the place!"
"Ah can handle trucks! And when yer opinion is needed, I'll ask!" And off he puffed. Rusty, meanwhile, realized that they had better get going before Duncan's inevitable doom caught them in the crossfire. So they, Skarloey and Rheneas took the trucks of slate off to their destination.
In retrospect, leaving Duncan alone was not the wisest move. As he puffed about, swaggering like he owned the place, he buffered up to the trucks. "AH'LL SHOW THAT SMELLY DIESEL AND THOSE WHINY STEAMERS WHAT A REAL ENGINE IS LIKE!" He boasted to the crows. They found this hilarious.
"Careful. You're asking for it!" said the driver.
And he got it. For what Duncan had not realized was that the larger than average coupling was still attached to the truck's own. The winch began to wind upwards...at which point, Duncan suddenly discovered what it was like to climb a hill whilst not under his own steam.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! BOUNCING BOO-FERS! IT'S GOT MEH!"
Rusty arrived back in the yard, having been guilt tripped into doing so by their conscience, to see Duncan near the top of the incline. "I go away for FIVE minutes!" They sighed. "And here I was trying to warn him! ...Ah, this is going to be an awkward conversation to have back at the sheds."
"Never listens!" said the driver of the little diesel. He suddenly did a double take. "Oh wow, I'd have thought it would have given out before they reached top."
"Apparently not." Rusty sighed. "But you went ahead and said it, so...here we go."
And just as they finished this chat, the chain holding Duncan and the trucks decided that it couldn't take either the weight or Duncan's caterwauling anymore, and snapped.
Duncan hung for a second in mid-air a la Wile E Coyote (SUPER GENIUS) before hurtling back down at a speed that no engine his size should have been going at. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPP!"
There was worse to come. For some reason, the buffers on this Island were still made of wood, and not, I don't know, titanium. Considering how many times the engines crash, it would have made sense to construct them that way. But no. So when Duncan hit the buffers, they shot off into the distance. Duncan shot off into a more decisive direction.
Namely, the large muddy bank of earth.
In terms of accidents, Duncan appeared to have rather nicely topped himself.
"GLUG GLUG GLUG." He said (He was weird like that) "BUGGLE MY BOILER!"
"I shall not!" said Rusty, angrily. "Sounds dirty!"
...
"Stop looking at me with those smug faces!" snapped Duncan, after being brought back to (relatively) dry land.
"YOU-" shouted the Fat Controller, when he arrived from his meeting. "HAVE NOT BEEN A RELIABLE ENGINE! ...Is that on me, because I keep expecting you to actually learn a lesson here? ...CURSE YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK BADLY OF MYSELF. YOUR CONFUSION HAS CAUSED CONFUSION, DELAY AND A WHOLE SHIT TON OF REPAIRS!
"Can you stop shouting sir-"
"I'M NOT- I'm not shouting. You owe these engines an apology at any rate!"
"Sorry!" said Duncan through gritted teeth.
"Once you've been repaired, you'll be working the incline until you know how to be patient and careful!"
"Yes sir!" snapped Duncan.
When the incline burned down later that week, the Fat Controller reconsidered and shoved Duncan back on the sidings while he worked out how to make sure that the incline was made safe, but at a cheap price.
He had far too much on his plate already.
...
"Ah. Is this seat taken?"
"...Truro, as you well know, it isn't."
"Hah. Could never pull over your eyes." Truro rolled up opposite her, and the Duchess was forced to look at him. Following the Battle of Sodor, he had had the large faceplate that served as both mask and medical device repaired. Now, once more, his face remained hidden. But they all remembered that ugly look on his face that night. No one had been able to forget it.
They sat in silence for a time, before Truro casually remarked. "Have you ever heard of the proverb known as 'For Want Of A Nail', Duchess? ...It's been around for centuries. The first few usages date it back to around about...twelfth century I think, appropiate, really, considering that's...around about the point we started off, wasn't it? Not us specifically. But the Iron Circle."
He spoke aloud, thoughtfully
"For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the message was lost.
For want of a message the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail."
He smiled, or at least, the Duchess thought he did. "Life's like that, in a way. The arrow that killed Harold Godwin at the Battle of Hastings, the bomb that failed to kill Hitler...we live in a world now that's full of nails that we should have taken more care to examine. We thought that things would get better once we finished off the USSR and that Apartheid business, but in reality, what we've done there's coming back to hurt us majorly."
"Hurt the Americans, you mean. We're just...bystanders."
"True. Too true, in fact." Truro backed up onto a long line of trucks. "Thing is, I've been thinking about our own, for lack of a better term, nails. I've come to a conclusion. We should have prepared a back up goal for when we found the Lost Engine. And if you help me...well, this goal is going to be very worthwhile."
"I shall think on it."
"...I hope you shall. For your own sake."
The second that Truro left, the Duchess turned around.
She needed to talk with Duck. Urgently.
...
"...Well that was murder."
"Quite literally. Thought they were about to tear us apart!" Mitton wiped his brow. "So...you're owed an explanation."
"I think I am!" Hatt was stressed. The Railway Board had finally left after what felt like hours, but in reality had only been one. They had grilled all three of them on problems with costs, with merchandise graphs, with various other things that showed that the series needed to change.
"...Since the movie's failure at the box office, there's been rumblings about possibly selling the rights to filming on the Island off. At first I thought it was just that, I could maybe act as a creative consultant, while still keeping the team on. Unfortunately, things have gotten so bad that HIT Entertainment might have to take Gullane entirely. That's including all of our other properties, but the main one is the rights to Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. Though apparently long titles confuse kids, so they're shortening it."
"Wait, so...why are they interested? The show itself continues, we still get the money-"
"Because...look, back in the eighties, when things were looking grim, we poured most of Clearwater into the Railway. Then when it changed to the Britt Alcroft Company, and then to Gullane, that grew and grew. We're talking about getting at least forty percent of your investment from our show. You yourself only hold maybe...thirty percent? And the rest of it is essentially a bunch of Barons and Earls and Lords and other such people who own various smaller parts of the railway. But the point of the matter is this. If you don't confirm the decision to sell off our...our stock, in a sense, to HIT...the railway is going to begin to suffer immensely financially."
Hatt groaned. "Shit. Shit shit shit...what's HIT like?"
"Not bad. They've got good things going on with Bob the Builder and such...but at the same time-"
"At the same time, what they have planned for the show isn't something you're going to like." Mitton spoke up for the first time. "The stuff we do with the cameras is expensive, sure. And the shots we set up with, of course they're going to cost a lot, that's the price of quality. It's the reason we did so well to begin with. But the HIT guys are nowhere near as creative or as...as versed in how to make something look good as this lot are."
"...But you have to sell?"
"I'll be sticking around as Creative Consultant for at least another season. And David is...David's leaving at the end of next series."
"Done all I can do. It's getting harder and harder to make things exciting or dynamic. ...Asquith will be taking over. He's got the right stuff, been with us from the beginning, he'll know what to do."
"...Thank you. For everything."
Edward and Duck listened to this grimly.
"This is bad."
"Very much so...but the question is, what can we do?"
Duck didn't have an answer.
Okay, so economics isn't my strongest subject. Or a subject I ever intend to take up. But still, I imagine that having forty percent of your finances gone would be a bad thing, right? Obviously, we're building up to the end of the Classic Series in more detail now. Even down to me putting my own feelings on the screen regarding how the New Series looks and feels.
Ah well.
See you next time!