This is going to be fairly light. No story at all, save for a linking story about the Pack on their way to the BAFTA's, which should be fun, I think. Also, for sake of variety, we'll be using the intended titles as opposed to the ones HIT slapped on when these were released. Hence Oliversauras instead of a Visit From Thomas.
AaronCottrell97: Agreed! Hence the reference to Mike in the mountain.
Reality Rejection Service: Things are picking up. For that matter, we're going to be addressing the Duchess of Hamilton thing soon enough, don't you worry.
Bronze Shield: When we get to Season 7, it's my intent to explain the change in attitude. He's definitely far more confident without the Fat Director around, but how and why? That's going to be interesting.
Game-Watch: To say nothing of his emotional state.
MattPrice01: Again, as I will mention many times throughout these thirteen episodes, we'll get more into that in Season 7. Needless to say, there is an explanation.
JD145: ;D
GreatWeestern1522:
UGX7: Fixed! And as to the age of Zero...well, we'll be getting into that in Season 7. With regards to Terrance, I do have a plan regarding that, which you'll have to wait and see. Mitton will be mourned when we get to the appropriate time and place, because we kinda have to pay tribute to him. I hope you like my interpretation of her!
Radical Sandwiches: Yep!
Hughie96: Be prepared for some more stuff with Truro in the coming season. And yes, there will be an explanation for what the hell's going to happen now. I hope you think the wait is worth it! Ta, mate.
CUE THE...lee than impressive theme music.
"Oh for god's sake!"
The Pack looked blearily at the long, long line of traffic in front of them. To the left of them? Traffic. To the right of them? Traffic. Behind them? Open space! ...No, just kidding! Traffic.
"SO THIS WAS A GREAT PLAN ON YOUR PART, OLIVER."
"Oh shut up, Jack."
Isabella looked grim. "We're not getting to the BAFTA's, are we?"
"Nonsense! OF COURSE WE WILL!" Nelson was enraged by the idea of being left behind. "We're winning the best ensemble award! It's not going to Bob the ruddy Builder AGAIN!"
"So how do we do this?" Kelly cut in.
No one had any answer for that.
...
A YEAR AGO.
It was a-
Ohhhhhhhh god. THIS AGAIN? Really?!
So it's a pretty decent day on the Island of Sodor let's just move on with this stuff. Thomas had managed to whine his way into appearing in all thirteen episodes of this show (Or at the very least, having someone he knew be in this show) and was thus taking the Fat Controller to the plot convinient area. I'm sorry, I've got the sarcastic script here. I meant the 'new school building site'.
Oddly enough, located right where Drampf's house had been. The way things worked out was interesting like that. The Fat Controller had even given the land to the school, because he was feeling generous one day and decided that this seemed like a good idea.
The Pack were doing their thing. Jack was running around like an overeager Jack Russell screaming at everyone, Kelly was waiting for the release of death, Isabella was...there, Alfie was being stupid, Oliver was smoking the latest drug (Called the 'Busting Boiler Special') in the pit and Buster was-
Hmm? Who's Buster?
You know who Buster is! He's always been there! We're not just randomly introducing new characters left and right? That's not going to be confusing at all.
All right. Buster was the Steamroller for the Pack. And he was...okay. A bit dim, but not as dim as Ned. Or Jack.
"THE SCHOOL IS A PROPER USE FOR THIS LAND!" said the Fat Controller over the chaos and noise of the building site. "Much better than that crack den idea that Carlin had! Imagine if that was the case, Miss Jenny!"
"Yes, Toppers! Of course... Who wants to be happy, eh?"
"What was that?"
"Nothing, nothing. Let me show you the football field!" Miss Jenny led him away towards another part of the site. "Of course, I wanted a fecking lacrosse playing area, but apparently the wee brats don't play that anymore! Ha! Now in my day-"
Hatt drifted off, ignoring Jenny's rant about how her 'gels' back in her old boarding school had nown the true value of sports. He'd heard this rant so often he could practically quote it off by heart.
Buster was having a wonderful time rolling the earth flat. "Oh boy, look at me rolling the earth flat." He said.
Byron, locked into battle with his arch enemy The Old Oak Tree, was not so cheerful. "GET A SHIFT ON!" He snarled. "We've got ACTUAL work to do!"
"Hey hey, no need to be so brutal, my man." said Buster, who thought himself a soul brotha, but in reality was actually more offensive than anything. "We just need to chill! Be like Oliver!"
"OH MY GOODNESS WHY ARE THE GNOMES COMING TO GET ME!?" wailed Oliver, currently twice as high as he normally was.
"It'll be a grand football field, in any case!" Jenny was still sulking that no one had taken her suggestion of lacrosse seriously.
"Grand." said the Fat Controller, who wanted to go home and have tea.
...
"DIG DIG DIG DIG! YEAH YEAH YEAH! DIGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG!"
"Ah. And this must be...Not-Muck." said Hatt, as he watched Alfie happily dig away at the foundations.
"He prefers the name Alfie."
"I'm sure he does. But that's not what I'm going to call him. Why are we digging trenches for the library?"
"Oh, we don't have enough money to actually build a library, so we're just going to shove a bunch of books down there and throw the kids in every so often."
"Ah. Just as Tom Brown intended."
"Ah go ta hell with ye! It'll be a good library!"
"Splendid." said the Fat Controller, who wanted more than ever a cream bun.
As they walked away, they decided to ignore the slight 'clink' and the far louder 'boom' as Alfie accidentally detonated a world war two mine.
...
"And this will be the swimming pool!"
"...Then why are Oliver and Max in that hole five miles from it?"
"...FOR GOD'S SAKE! GET IT TOGETHER, LADS!"
"I SEE THE END OF THE WORLD!" proclaimed Oliver. He had to dig very carefully to make sure that the hole had straight sides.
"All swimming pools must have straight sides!"
"Yes." said Hatt, who honestly could not care less at this point. And after this last little show of lunacy, he hurried off to Annie and Clarabel, got in and proceeded to eat himself to near death on his way home. It was the happiest he had been all day.
Max, meanwhile, was becoming impatient. "Eyyyyyyyy! Get a move on, you slowpoke! Gotta go fast! Gonna rock and roll all over the joint! WASSUP! ...with all the time you're taking?!"
Oliver would not be hurried. He was coming down on his high HIS way damn it, and he was going to dig carefully while he was at it. And to show this, he brought his shovel down with a loud clunk.
Only part of that was down to the force he hit the ground with.
Oliver's eyes widened. "Ohhhhh no! I'VE KILLED SOMEONE! I CAN'T GO TO JAIL AGAIN, MAX! NOT AGAIN!" He slowly scraped away at the side, while Max wondered if he could get moved over to join Bob the Builder properly. As far as he recalled, they hadn't got a truck in yet...so he might be in with a chance.
"Hurry up!"
"BUT I'VE FOUND SOMETHING!"
"Is it happiness?"
"No, but-"
"Then it's rubbish!"
"It might be important!" said Oliver's operator, who had really wanted the crack den to be built.
"Right right, yeah, sure. I'll call Miss Jenny. I want to go home." said the foreman, who hated his life with a passion. He called Miss Jenny, who called the Fat Controller, who called a doctor as he had was unable to get out of the carriage door, who called a fire engine to help get said Controller out of the carriage, who called a therapist, who ended up having to call two boffins in. It was a very stressful set of incidents.
"They got real thin heads, ain't they?" said Isabella to Max later about the scientist. Max didn't care, he wanted to go home and write poetry about the state of the world. Very whiny poetry.
"AMAZING!" said the expert with the red mustache and odd solitary patch of hair.
Then he stopped looking at his partner's drawing of a penis and then glanced at Oliver's find. "Oh, and that's pretty decent too, I guess. Looks like a dinosaur."
Byron was unimpressed. The Old Oak Tree had kicked his arse, and he was therefore a little cranky.
"What is a DYE-NO-SAW" asked Ned, who was feeling in particularly stupid form today.
"Dinosaurs are fecking large creatures that roamed the earth. Like Topham here, except able to exercise self-control."
"Jenny!" said a rather embarrassed Fat Controller.
"Well Oliver!" said the expert with the fuzzy beard and the very thin head. "How about some more digging?"
"SURE THING GUVNOR!" said Oliver, now convinced that he was in a typical British cop show.
...
Soon the experts had roped off the area, with the other three vehicles watching the action with the most bored expressions ever put to film. Oliver quickly put on his most delicate chisel, as this called for some delicate digging.
...So why the hell Oliver was here, we'll never know.
But soon, he found some more bones, that of a Triceratops. "Ooooh!" he said, in his own head seeing a fellow smoker of the drugs. And some more bones and some more bones and some more bones-
Whoops, forget to take the needle off the record for a second.
Elsewhere, Ned called out Go Fish. Unfortunately, the rest of the Pack were playing Snap instead, so he didn't win.
Eventually, Oliver had uncovered the entire skeleton of a dinosaur. And everyone cheered.
Well, they made an attempt. It sounded very bored, which to be fair, was about fair for people in this situation. "THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DAY FOR THE ISLAND OF SODOR!" said the Fat Controller, who was practically propped up by his two bodyguards. "SO IMPORTANT THAT WE WILL LITERALLY NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN!"
"Thanks to Oliver's careful digging!"
"HOLY SHIT I'M GOING TO EAT THE SKY!"
"Makes me proud, yeah yeah yeah, to be a excavator! I'm in this episode, yeah yeah yeah! WHOO! DIIIIIGGIIIIIING!"
"Shut up, Not-Muck!"
A man with a camera stormed up, took Oliver's picture and stormed off again. It was very random, no one was sure what he was even doing on a construction site. Safety first apparently went right the hell out the window.
...
The next day, Thomas brought the Fat Controller to the yardch.
Oh, you think that's a typo? No, go back and listen to the episode proper! Listen to the way he pronounces that word! Tell me it doesn't at least sound like that's what he's saying!
"It seems we have a celebrity here!"
"IT'S OLIVER!"
"Ta Ned. Nothing wrong with your eyes! And no, he's talking about ME of course!" Thomas beamed.
"Oh shut up, it's not your spin-off!"
"Be honest sir, it practically is."
Oliver would have smiled happily, but he was too busy starting the long, long, LONG come down process.
There would be worse to come.