Boo! I'm back again!
As per, I have no time and I'm hating life. I'm banging my head against a brick wall, so I wrote this to cheer myself up. I took way too much enjoyment out of this, and I couldn't stop laughing my ass off the whole time. Might not be as funny to all of you as I think, but I had great fun imagining this.
Special thanks for reviews: Maria Annette, Roseheir, lordvaatithewindmage, Celestic1234, JusTiNSaNiTy, Darnea, AnUnorthodoxDecision, AwkwardPoodle, xNarielx, mechan0philia, Minecraft Guardiansaiyan, KettyKet, Red 'Allen' Walker, ByteOfBacon, Kata, Neyane and two Guests.
He'd been in the precinct for all of ten minutes, and Gavin was already having a bad day.
First, he'd not managed to finagle his cat back in his flat this morning. The bitch has somehow managed to work out how to undo the latch on his window and escape. Then she'd had the damn cheek to sit all of two feet away and have a bath while ignoring his angry shouts. She was way too damn sassy; he hated that cat (which was a blatant lie, but he was pissed at her right now).
Second, he'd managed to spill his coffee all over the bottom of his car when a cyclist had jumped out in front of him at the lights. At least it wasn't all over his clothes this time, but it had been a complete waste of $5, and it meant he now had to deal with the watery shit in the office. He was beginning to wonder if he was destined to have a doomed relationship with the beverage.
And now thirdly…he had one attempt left at his password before he was locked out of the computer system.
He was swearing up a storm, internally and externally. Gavin has not forgotten his password, he was sure he hadn't mistyped it nine times, and it wasn't due to be updated for another month. That left only one explanation: someone had changed it.
Or more correctly, a certain plastic asshole had no doubt hacked his computer and made it some indecipherable combination which Gavin wouldn't have a hope of guessing. And of course, Connor was nowhere to be seen.
Gavin wanted to strangle him.
When he growled angrily for the fifth time, Katie raised an eyebrow at him. "What's with the dramatics?" she asked amusedly.
He gave her an unimpressed look while rolling back from his desk. "I can't fucking log in, my password's been changed!" he snapped back.
A twinkle appeared in her eyes and Gavin glared at his partner. Twinned with her now candy floss pink hair, she looked like the epitome of mischief. He had the feeling Katie knew exactly what was up. "Sure you didn't mistype it without your morning caffeine?" she teased.
"Ha fucking ha, Katie. Where's that tin can? I'm going to deck him."
Katie scowled at him. "I love how you're automatically blaming Connor for this." Her tone was decidedly unimpressed.
"Then how the fuck else do you explain it?"
"The computer has decided you're in an asshole mood and doesn't want to deal with your shit?"
When Katie stared icily back at him, Gavin sighed deeply. Pissing her off was not his intention. "Whatever. Any idea where the plastic bastard is?"
"Haven't the faintest idea, Gavin."
He heard the detachment in her voice and Gavin growled in annoyance before standing. As he wandered over to her desk, Katie pointedly ignored him. Yeah, that's no surprise. It was common knowledge throughout the precinct that Katie and Connor were really good friends – insulting him so much was a rapid way to get in her bad books. Too bad she was also the one most likely to know where he was.
"Katie." The softer tone had her looking up, but she was clearly still unimpressed. Gavin ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I've just had a really shit morning, this isn't helping. Do you know where Connor might be? If nothing else, he might be able to help me find out what is going on, even if he wasn't behind this."
That was bare-faced lie and they both knew it, but Katie did appreciate Gavin's effort with the apology. He sounded genuinely remorseful, and he had even referred to Connor as 'he'. That was better than normal. With a long sigh, Katie turned back to her monitor and gave him an answer. "Evidence lockup, last I heard."
Gavin gave her an honest smile. "Thanks. Me being locked out of the system for the day is not what we need with our case load."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just don't be an asshole to him, Gavin." The detective scoffed at her, but soon stood and began marching away.
As soon as his back was turned, Katie smirked and established a connection with Connor.
He's headed to Chris, he should be en route to the interview rooms next. You should have seen his face when he realised his password wasn't working.
It's a shame you can't stream footage, I would have appreciated seeing that.
I'll bet the Lieutenant is enjoying this.
I'm not sure who is deriving more enjoyment, myself or him.
Katie had to fight an outward snigger. How long do you intend on running him in circles?
That depends entirely on whether you need him for anything.
We don't need to be anywhere for a while.
In that case, as long as I can.
Connor was sat down in the archives, legs stretched out over the edge of his chair as he worked on a tablet, with a broad smile on his face as he did so. So far, it had been four hours since the game of hide and seek had started, and Gavin had been run ragged trying to find him. Between Katie sending him down to the evidence lockup, to Chris forwarding him on to the interview rooms, and various other members of staff sending him in all directions, Gavin hadn't even come close to finding him. It was highly amusing to the android. Now, Connor was sat in the archives two hours after Ben had sent Gavin that way searching for him.
Safe to say, Connor was confident that he wouldn't be found. Not with his partner watching his back.
"Why couldn't we have done this sooner, again? Would have alleviated a hell of a lot more of my boredom."
Connor sighed as he swiped through the tablet, making sure he didn't go too far so that Hank could read their latest reports. The lieutenant was due back in the precinct next week, and Connor was currently livestreaming his footage so that Hank could catch up on all the happenings of his absence. In the top left of his vision Connor had a timer ticking of how long it had been since Katie first gave him the heads-up that Gavin was looking for him, while in the bottom right he could see a transcript of the group chat that the android crimes division had going.
Safe to say, all of them were involved in keeping Connor and Gavin as far apart from each other as possible.
A couple of extras had been added who were known friends of Connor and Hank, Katie being one of them, and it meant there were a total of fifteen people playing their part. Some of them had pointed out that Gavin was slowly getting more sceptical of the advice being given, but they were constantly updating the chat with his latest location. It meant Connor was keeping well ahead of the detective.
"Because this wouldn't have been possible before now, Hank. I wouldn't enact this prank if Gavin and Katie were working on something which needed the attention of both of them. Have you stood up and stretched your legs recently?" Connor answered back out loud, for no other reason than he was finding the silence a little boring. It felt more like Hank was there with him when he spoke the response rather than replying mentally.
Connor was really looking forward to having him back.
Hank scoffed. "Yes, you fucking nanny-bot. I've been moving about plenty."
"Getting up to grab a bottle of beer or going to the bathroom is not enough, Hank."
"I've all but tripped over Sumo twice, does that count?"
Connor sighed. "What did you do?"
"How the fuck is it automatically my fault?! The big lug is just being extra affectionate today!"
"Hank, Sumo is not small. It is incredibly hard to trip over him unless you are not paying attention. So, I ask again, what did you do?"
"… I may have been doing a little research."
"I dread to think."
"Too fucking right, smart-ass. You'll find out soon enough."
Connor sat back with a smirk. "Just remember that turnabout is fair play, Hank."
"Yeah, yeah. Sure thing-" Hank's tone immediately changed from teasing to serious. "No-one's got eyes on Gavin, he didn't follow the trail."
With that, Connor sat up properly and switched his auditory sensors up to maximum to follow movements along the corridor leading to the archives. He too saw the updates in the chat. "It only took him four hours. Where was he last seen?"
"Bullpen, so he could be fucking anywhere. You got an escape route?"
"Of course, I have multiple. Have a little faith, Hank."
The lieutenant barked a laugh on the other end of the line. "God, I'm still getting used to your sass even now, you little shit. Please make sure you keep the livestream up so I can see what you've got planned for him. And I want to see his reaction to his new password."
Connor smiled as he heard the door at the end of the corridor open. "You aren't the only one," he answered softer, moving through the room to take cover behind the door while being shielded by some boxes of files. Recognising the angry stomps, Connor switched to speaking internally. "Incoming."
"Behind the door, really? That the best your supercomputer brain can come up with?"
"Simplicity has its merits, but that is not the main reason I am here."
Before Connor could elaborate further, the door slammed open and barely stopped before it crashed into him. His pre-construction software had accounted for this, and Connor watched as Gavin scowled at finding the tablet on the table just in front of the door. "Connor! Where the fuck are you, you plastic bastard?!" Gavin shouted. "Let me into my damn computer, you asshole!"
"He's as fucking charming as ever."
"Indeed. Time to teach him some manners, I think."
Without saying any more, Connor connected wirelessly to another tablet which he had deliberately set up at the opposite end of the room. When it dinged several times, as if receiving incoming emails, Gavin went to investigate. Once the detective was out of sight, Connor stealthily exited the room and closed the door gently behind him.
As soon as he was out of the room, Connor hacked into the door controls at the side and jammed them closed.
Gavin would not be able to open it from the inside. He was stuck there until someone let him free from the outside.
When the touchpad lit up red, Connor smirked and leaned up against the wall while crossing his arms in satisfaction. He only had to wait another minute before he heard the chime of the door attempting to be opened, and the subsequent slamming of angry fists. Gavin's irritated snarls were just the icing on the cake.
With a satisfied smile, Connor sauntered away, Hank roaring in laughter in his head.
"That was fucking gorgeous, son. Damn, just as well I don't have stitches any more, or I really would have torn them there."
Connor tried his best to hide the effect Hank's words had on him, but the notification of his thirium pump stuttering in reaction was impossible to hide in time on his HUD. Knowing the older man would have seen it, Connor just went with it: it wasn't as if Hank wouldn't understand. "Please don't pull a muscle from laughing too hard, Hank. That would be a difficult injury to explain to the captain."
"Would be fucking worth it, though."
It took forty minutes before someone had enough sympathy to let Gavin out, by which point he was seething. He was furious at the whole situation, and the amused smirks he was receiving en route back to the bullpen did nothing to alleviate his feelings. This was a piss poor day.
When he emerged back on the floor, he heard distinctive giggling from his partner's desk. Incensed, Gavin stormed over, enraged eyes locking on the android which was sitting casually against Katie's desk. The pair of them looked absolutely tickled, and Gavin's mood soured even more.
He really wished his partner wasn't so close to Connor. It burned something fierce inside him.
Before Gavin even stopped, Connor was holding out a piece of paper for the detective to take. Eyeing it like a deadly snake, Gavin was reluctant to take it. "I believe you have one attempt at your password remaining, Detective Reed?" Connor asked, well aware of Katie's giggling next to him and Hank's sniggering in his head. "You might find this useful."
Gavin snatched the paper and read the contents with an eye roll.
GavinReedIsAFuckingPrick
"Real fucking classy, Connor," he spat back. "Have fun with your little game, did you?"
Connor smiled happily at him. "Quite, actually, though I can't claim credit for it. I simply executed the plan, though I think I had the best role in this adventure."
"Fuck you," the detective snarled while storming away, sitting back at his desk with a face like thunder. Connor winked at Katie as he stood, the female android smiling broadly back at him as he went back to his own desk. He saw the look of relief pass over Gavin's face as the password was accepted, and Katie began teasing him about his unfortunate morning.
"That was brilliant. Think he liked my password?" Hank's tone was entirely smug, even though Connor was tempted to roll his eyes at the unoriginality. Still, it was a very Hank-ish password.
Instead, Connor sat back with a satisfied smile. "Perhaps. Do you think he'll ever believe that this whole scenario was Katie's idea?"
"No fucking chance, he'll think it's you through and through since you're the only one capable of hacking his terminal. You did let Fowler know what you were up to, didn't you?"
"Of course I did, and he seemed entirely amused. I think he will have enjoyed watching the whole episode play out."
"Ha, Jeffrey's a fucking comedian when he wants to be. By the way, when do you plan on getting your revenge on Markus? This, I've just got to see."
Connor smirked, excitement fluttering through his circuits. He was glad Hank approved, Connor wondered if he'd been crossing a line with his idea. Clearly, Hank didn't think so.
"Soon, Hank. Very soon."