Hi all!
I'm back again, now that I've finally decided which chapter to upload next. I'm glad you all enjoyed Gavin and Hank getting their asses handed to them by the androids, it was so much fun to write.
Special thanks for reviews: FandomsMJ, Celestic1234, Minecraft Guardiansaiyan, xNarielx, DyeTheSheep, AnUnorthodoxDecision, SheNoob, lordvaatithewindmage, Darnea, DemonSkitty, inuchara2511, OpaqOwo, Kata, MugetsuPipefox, Anya M and two Guests.
Credit for this one goes to RK800 on AO3. I adored it the minute it was suggested, even if this is a precursor to their actual idea. This one has way too many fluffy moments, I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!
"Ooof! Dammit, Sumo! I know you enjoy flopping down on Connor, but I'm not an android that can take your weight! Fuck!"
The St Bernard seemed entirely unfazed by Hank's outburst and huffed after lifting his head to look at the human, only to return to his previous position.
Hank muttered under his breath and groaned as Sumo shifted. The dog was fucking heavy. He was cursing Connor's android strength at the moment in time, it was evident that Sumo had gotten entirely too used to his partner's attention. Connor loved to play, pick him up and actively encouraged Sumo to laze all over him. Hank was not built to cope with near as damn 200 lbs of the affectionate mutt lounging on him.
"Connor, you're so buying me some strong-ass painkillers for this…"
Realising that his phone was out of reach, Hank swore lowly before remembering that Connor had purchased him a new one a little over a month ago: and unlike his old one, it was voice-activated. He'd never been a fan of all vocal technology, not even when in his younger years when Siri, Alexa, Cortana and all those other gimmicks came out. His experience with them summed solely of asking stupid questions to trip them up – and even that had got old fast.
"Call Connor," he bellowed out, hoping that the device would register the command from the distance of him being pinned on the sofa to the coffee table.
It beeped in confirmation, but Hank was then taken aback as it quickly disconnected. "Oh for fuck's sake…" he grumbled at realising his idiocy. "Call Connor, speaker on."
The second attempt was more successful.
"Hank? Is something wrong?"
The human winced at the concerned tone in Connor's voice. He was probably worried given Hank had called Connor back straight away after the android presumably declined the first call. "Shit, sorry, Connor," he shouted over. "I couldn't hear shit the first time as I'm a few feet away from the phone and didn't tell the stupid thing to put the speaker on first time. You all right, kid?"
He could hear the audible change to Connor's voice at realising all was well. "Yes, I am. There is nothing of note to pass on to Markus as to the events at the Jericho apartments. John and Rupert have confirmed that all is well, and the Tracis should be back at the end of the week to help them."
Hank could pick up on the undercurrent of uncertainty in Connor's voice. "It's all right, Connor. I'm sure they won't hold any grudges against you, it's been almost seven months since they last saw you." It had become a noticeable fear of Connor's since the uprising: how the other androids treated him as the former deviant hunter. Hank often wondered as to how much of a factor it had been in Connor's decision to join him in the early days of android freedom, but he wouldn't change a thing about it. It still pained him, however, to see the vulnerability from Connor, even now.
Markus had always been Connor's most vocal supporter, and it gone a long way to easing things. With all the Jericho leadership still in Canada, however, there had been a few more antagonistic voices piping up – those who wondered as to Connor's true allegiance given his close relations with humans. It was something Hank was going to make a point of mentioning to Markus when he returned.
"Maybe, but I can't help but wonder…"
"Hey, come on, kiddo. You've got the best support possible in the form of Markus and co., these fucktards don't know you. There were always going to be those who feared androids who kept in contact with humans. Just ignore them. Or better yet, imagine doing to them what you did to Markus. I think a few of them might be a little bit more tolerant if they had to hang around in wet cement for a day."
He was relieved to hear Connor chuckle lowly, but it was earnest. "Thanks, Hank."
"No problem, son. But I'm warning you now, I'm gonna kill you when you get back. Sumo has decided I'm his new bed."
Connor laughed a bit louder. "Is this you asking me to find some effective painkillers on my trip back home?"
"Well since I can't reach any alcohol currently…"
"Noted, Hank. I should be back in around half an hour."
"All right, thanks. See you soon, kiddo."
Connor disconnected and Hank turned to look at Sumo when the dog's head raised again, almost as if he could feel the sad vibes emanating from the human. "Yeah, I wish he didn't feel like that, either. What do you say to egging him when he gets back? Nothing like a good old-fashioned prank to bring a smile back to his face, yeah?" Sumo barked as if in agreement, which had Hank laughing. "Let me up then, will ya?"
Hank was entirely amused when Sumo then shifted off him. He shook his head in disbelief, wondering sometimes if that dog understood what he was saying. Co-incidental that Sumo chose the moment he mentioned doing something for Connor to shift?
If it was, it was a hell of a good one.
Wincing at the aches and pains in his back after being pinned, Hank then went through to the kitchen to find a few eggs which he knew would be stashed in the back of a cupboard, grinning as he did so. Now he just had to figure out how to surprise Connor with them…
"Hank."
He jumped almost a foot high at the sound of Connor's voice, looking around in confusion when he didn't see him. "I'm going demented…" he muttered to himself.
"Hank, over here."
The human scowled in the direction of his phone at hearing Connor's voice echoing through the house, his suspicion confirmed when Sumo was staring at it too. He wandered back over and picked it up, but stared at it in utter bemusement when it said he wasn't mid-call. "The fuck…?"
"Trust me, your phone is working fine, Hank."
"Jesus!" Hank exclaimed at Connor's voice suddenly booming through again. "Connor? Something the matter?"
Connor sighed. "You…could say that."
"How come my phone isn't registering the call? Stupid piece of crap, I told you I didn't need a new one."
"As I said before, Hank, it is working perfectly well. I am not calling you."
Pause.
"Hang on, then what the fuck is going on?"
"Hank, I'm…I'm inside it."
Another pause.
"You want to run that by me again, Connor? How the hell does that work?"
"It's a bit complicated, Hank. This is almost, you could say, a backup."
"A backup for what?"
"…For if I shut down."
This time, the pause was much longer. And then it finally clicked.
"If you fucking what?!"
It turned out, that Connor had more than one reason for purchasing Hank's new phone, other than the precursor being ridiculously outdated – the main one being a failsafe in case the worst happened to Connor. After learning about Connor's design and his memory download capability after waking the rest of the RK800 models, Simon and Richard had been working on a way to make it compatible with the android population at large. They had found limited success as yet, but they had managed to give Connor his safety net back.
They'd designed a program which would automatically upload Connor's consciousness to a predetermined destination if his body shut down. He'd deemed Hank's phone the safest possible place, trusting him above anyone else. It wasn't an ideal solution, but it meant Connor's mind was intact for the time it would take to get his body getting repaired.
Except, there was currently a very big problem. They had no idea where his body was.
"So, you were walking back to the car when everything just went dark?" Hank asked, now that he'd gotten over his momentary panic. He was currently in an autonomous taxi, headed for the last place Connor remembered being, which was not far from the Jericho apartments.
"Yes. I have no recollection whatsoever of an attack. I was just walking and then…nothing. I came to inside here."
"Damn. I'm fucking glad you guys designed this thing right now."
"You are not the only one, Hank. Still, I am somewhat suspicious."
"Of what?"
"How can I have no memory of shutting down? The only way an android can be shut down instantaneously is via a shot to the head, and even then we can often have awareness for a few seconds. I should have at least received a prompt about my imminent shutdown before it occurred."
Hank processed what Connor was saying. "Wait a minute. Connor, are you telling me that you think this was someone just shoving your mind into my phone, and your body is actually okay?"
"To quote a human function, call it a gut feeling."
"Sounds fucking weird hearing you say that. So…you think this is what, exactly?"
"Honestly? I think this is a prank."
Hank scoffed. "It's a fucking cruel one if it is."
"If my body is unharmed, I think it is the logical conclusion."
"Well, let's go find it then. Never thought I'd be looking for your body in a twisted version of Treasure Hunt…" He paused for a second. "You okay? You're sounding a little strained."
"I'll be fine, Hank. I think it is understandable that I am a little perturbed at the course of events."
"Yeah, you and me both, kiddo. As weird as it is to say, I really hope you're right about this prank theory. The other option is a lot more concerning, though I'm wondering who would be behind a prank that is nearly vicious."
"I agree with that summation, I'd much rather just be displaced than my body shut down. As to a culprit, the honest answer is it could be any of several people. Markus, North, Simon and Josh all know of the project, as does Katie courtesy of her brother. The logical conclusion would be Katie, since the others are still absent, but given it happened so near the Jericho apartments…"
"Might just shoot North if this was her idea."
"Please don't, Hank."
"And why shouldn't I?"
"Because it would be far too much hassle when she inevitably tries to pay you back for it."
"I'm sorry that I'm a little pissed right now."
Connor's tone was affectionate and a little shy. "And I appreciate that, Hank. But let's just find my body first?"
"Yeah, yeah."
The taxi pulled up outside the last location Connor remembered being, and Hank was instantly unimpressed. Taped to one of the nearby walls, only a few metres from Hank's car - which Connor had taken for the day - was a piece of paper. He marched over and snatched it down, reading the perfect CyberLife Sans script. A growl caught in his throat before sighing loudly, equal parts angry and relieved. "Well, you were right, Connor. This is a prank."
Connor paused before responding tightly. "Can you hold the phone up so I can see the note, Hank?" The older man did so, allowing Connor to use the camera to see the contents. It was binary. "Hank, I'm going to access the internet on your phone." He was appreciative of the warning when he saw a browser window pop up and Connor search for a binary translator.
Then something occurred to him. "Wait a minute, don't you know how to read binary?"
"I currently have vastly less processing power than normal. This will be much more effective." Soon enough, Connor re-typed all the digits into the translator, giving back a set of co-ordinates. "I suspect we will find my body at this location."
"You know, when I mentioned this being like a fucked up version of Treasure Hunt, I didn't want to be right."
"Would it be appropriate to accuse you of jinxing us?"
"Well, I guess it's better than the alternative. I'm seriously gonna kill whoever is making us waste the rest of our day off."
The note did not lead them to Connor's body. It instead took them to another note, with more co-ordinates.
Neither Hank nor Connor were very impressed at the run around they were being given. Connor was in fact getting more and more short-tempered as time went on, something Hank hadn't seen from him before. It was mildly unsettling.
As their journey continued, Hank even made a point of calling Markus to see if he knew anything. The alarm in Markus' voice dismissed that idea swiftly, and the concerned messages received from all four Jericho androids in the minutes following the call had a new suspicion building in their minds. Connor's foul mood was slightly pacified by the messages asking how he was holding up, and Hank was a little touched at seeing North actually addressed one to him to make sure he hadn't keeled over from a heart attack after the initial shock.
As much as the female android drove him nuts, Hank really did have a big soft spot for her. Connor sent a sly message in reply telling North it was the first time he'd seen Hank smile since finding out about him earlier that day.
Markus confirmed that no-one outside their group knew of the backup system as they hadn't managed to adapt it to anyone beyond Connor at that stage, which left only one suspect. Sure enough, the fourth note Hank found led them right where Connor expected.
Katie's apartment.
Both of them were dismayed at thinking the female android had orchestrated the whole scheme, and Hank wasn't really sure what approach to take with her. Connor suspected she would be smug when answering the door, based off prior pranks; she was always quick to own up to her actions.
When Hank knocked on her door, his phone placed strategically in his shirt pocket so that Connor could view the meeting via the camera, he was confused at Katie's stunned expression upon answering her door.
She looked over him quickly, her expression wary. "Lieutenant? Is everything okay? I'm surprised to see you here," she greeted nervously.
Hank scowled. That was not what either of them suspected. "Hey, Katie. Hope I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
Katie's concern grew at seeing Hank was alone. "Is there any particular reason you came here without Connor, Lieutenant? He is all right, isn't he?"
Connor's spoke up at seeing Katie's expression. He was convinced that her worry was genuine, as was Hank. Which made the situation all the more confusing. "I'm here, Katie."
At hearing his voice, she honed in on the source with wide eyes. "Connor? Wait, are you-" Her eyes then widened in understanding. "Shit! What happened to you?!"
Hank sighed in frustration. "Someone's messing with him, that's what. He doesn't remember what happened, but he's stuck in the phone and we can't find his body. We've been strung around on a damned trail courtesy of these notes. The last one led us here."
As the lieutenant held out the pieces of paper, Katie snatched them and frantically studied them. "But, why-"
Her face instantly morphed from upset, to angry, and then exasperated as she groaned out loud and looked upwards. Hank and Connor were both wondering as to the rapid change, and their confusion spiked even more as Katie's hair flipped from the mellow caramel it was upon her opening the door to a deep brown, almost black.
Connor had spent enough time with her now to know that her hair tended to reflect her mood when she didn't have it fixed to keep up her 'human' illusion. And right now, she was not impressed.
It then shimmered back to the caramel colour, leaving Hank completely confused as Katie stepped back and swung the door open fully, marching inwards to stare at something inside. "Really?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
A deep chuckle from indoors had Hank's instant attention and he strode in, only to freeze and do a double take. "What the fuck?"
His brain was having trouble understanding the image in front of him. How could Connor be sitting there on Katie's sofa, looking highly amused while idly petting the husky curled into his lap?
The loud sigh from his pocket snapped Hank's attention back to the present. "Of all people to be behind this, you were the last one I expected, Richard."
Hank's brain suddenly kicked into gear at the name. Richard, Katie's brother. He stared harder at the android lounging back and could pick out the differences which were becoming more evident by the second. Sharper lines to his build, more-top heavy than Connor and icy eyes closer to his own than Connor's warm brown.
"You could have mentioned that Katie's brother might as well be your fucking twin, Connor," Hank grumbled.
Richard chuckled with the proud smirk still on his face. "And why was I not a viable candidate, Connor?" he asked silkily. "Do you think I would deem these 'pranks' beneath me?"
Katie rolled her eyes at him and swatted his arm as she walked next to him. "Stop being an asshole, Rich," she snapped. "Why pick this? It's verging on cruel."
"Just living up to your summary of me, Katie," he purred back. "Besides, we needed to test the system. Clearly the upload commands are effective, judging by Connor's state. Development can continue on to the next phase."
Connor was less than impressed. "You could have just asked, Richard."
Richard smirked. "But that would remove the surprise element that the system is designed to anticipate, it would not be an effective test. And it would be entirely less fun."
"Being crammed into this space unnecessarily is not fun."
The RK900 raised an eyebrow. "Do I detect some aggravation in your voice, Connor? You are meant to remain calm under duress."
"I am in a somewhat…uncomfortable situation. The lack of processing power and storage space has a very unintended side-effect."
Katie looked at the phone in concern. "Connor? What do you mean?"
It was Hank that clicked, and it suddenly explained so much of Connor's short temper. "Holy shit, you're claustrophobic, aren't you? I didn't think an android could get like that."
"It is highly awkward, and the discomfort is only increasing with time."
Richard hummed in contemplation and his expression become more serious. "Interesting, this is a curious development. This test has been highly informative."
Katie glared at him. "For fuck's sake, you're just being a dick now," she growled. "Can't you just reverse the command already and let Connor go?"
He turned to smirk at his sister. "Feeling protective, Katie?"
"Undo it," she spat. "I'm not the one you've really got to worry about pissing off here."
"Oh?"
"No." Richard turned around and was intrigued at the venomous glare he was being subjected to from Hank. "That would be me."
Richard's smile change to something genuine, and impressed. "Your emotions do you credit, Lieutenant. Katie was not misplaced in her admiration of you." Katie swiftly turned to hide her blush, but Connor still saw even if Hank missed it. "I will activate the reverse command momentarily. Connor, prepare yourself."
Hank's phone beeped from his pocket and he pulled it out to study it, only to find the device suddenly dead. Connor's presence had evidently overheated it. And then he thought of something. "Hey, wait a damn minute. That's all well and good, but where the hell is Connor's body? We've been looking for it all fucking day!"
The RK900 smirked. "You have never been far from it, Lieutenant. I advise you return to your vehicle, Connor will reappear shortly."
That had Hank glaring. "Enough with the damn riddles already!"
Katie then stared between them in a slowly growing smile. "You didn't…" Richard turned to smirk at her, at which Katie couldn't help but giggle. Hank's glare switched to her, at which Katie bit her lip to stop from bursting out laughing. "Did you check the trunk, Lieutenant?"
Hank froze. "You've got to be fucking with me!"
He abruptly left the apartment and tore back down to the car park. His eyes landed on the trunk of his car and his heart jumped at seeing it moving, being pressed out from the inside. "Connor!" Hank fished his keys out and wrestled it open.
Connor stared up at him, completely unharmed, if slightly dazed.
Letting out a large sigh, Hank helped him out and pulled him into a fierce hug. "Goddammit, Connor, it good to have you back as you."
The android laughed lightly and returned the hug warmly. "That is an understatement. I am certainly relieved."
"How the fuck did Richard even manage to get you in there? It's a manual lock."
"The RK900 series was designed to a master of subterfuge. That includes lockpicking devices, both manual and electronic."
Hank pulled back and ruffled Connor's hair lightly. "I'm going to go with Katie's summary and say he's an asshole."
Connor chuckled. "He is a somewhat acquired taste, that is true. Still, he was right in needing to test the software. It is a relief to know it works."
And then Connor smirked. "Besides, this whole escapade has given me a very promising idea for a new prank."
That had the human bursting out laughing. "Only you, Connor. Okay, you can tell me about that on the way back home. You sure you want to involve him in your revenge prank against Katie?"
"I…may withhold on that for a while. Or I may just recruit Simon for help instead." Connor smiled as five messages appeared on his HUD: the Jericho quartet asking what happened after Connor had contacted them to say he was now back to normal, while Katie apologised for her brother's idea of a 'prank'. "Markus and the others are asking for the details. Do you want to tell them, or shall I?"
Now given enough time to cool down, Hank's phone turned back on and he smiled at finding three messages himself. One from Markus and two from North. "Feel free to tell them yourself, I'll admit I'm curious to know what it was like being stuck in my phone."
Connor gave him a sly look. "Your internet search history is certainly interesting."
Hank flushed. "The fuck were you looking at that for?!"
"Curiosity's sake, Hank. The frequency of your porn searches involving-"
"Connor. Shut the fuck up."
The little shit had the audacity to wink at Hank, and the human just shook his head before bringing Connor in for another tight hug.
Then he suddenly thought about his analogy from earlier in the day, a smile breaking out on his face as he realised just how true it was.
This damned kid is my treasure all right. I'd go to the ends of the world for him.