Hey!
So, I just wanted to give a big shout out to all those who have been sending me prank ideas, they are so gratefully received as I want to keep this fic going for as long as possible. I've still got around another 10 chapters' worth worked out, but I'm hoping you can all give me more.
Special thanks for reviews: AnUnorthodoxDecision, Mayday Maria, xNarielx, MugetsuPipefox and lordvaatithewindmage.
Credit for this prank idea goes to ValentineXCross on AO3. Thanks hun, I just couldn't stop giggling at the image!
And this one is the longest to date, but I just had too much fun with it. As per usual, it got away from me a bit! Also, fluff alert!
Since Hank's original plan for Connor's birthday had gone up in smoke (well not so much, it had just been rearranged), that left him coming up with a plan B. Plan B soon evolved into plan C…and that descended into plan Desperate. He couldn't come up with anything memorable enough beyond his very first plan (which he'd thought of months ago, since he'd officially adopted Connor), but even that was not going to come together until the week after.
Which left him seeking out some help.
He'd been reluctant to admit that he was stumped on something grand for Connor's birthday, but Hank swallowed his pride and went to Markus. The deviant leader had just smiled warmly and suggested throwing a party at his father's house, since Carl was eager to meet both Connor and Hank after so many stories about their prank war. Hank was immensely grateful, and left Markus in charge of rustling up a list of people to invite (with a few suggestions on extras).
That took care of half his problem…and his salvation for the other came from the Jericho crew being just as clueless as him.
Which was why he found the quartet in his house during the day he and Connor weren't working the same shift, batting ideas about. It was now only a week to go, and they were still no closer to a solution.
Josh was sat reading a book, absently throwing in the odd comment from the kitchen, with Sumo curled up at the quiet android's feet, while Markus and Simon were on the recliner, Simon resting in Markus' lap. North – the fucking wild child herself – had decided sitting nicely at the other end of Hank's sofa was boring, so was instead lounged across it, her ankles crossed and perched on Hank's shoulder as he sat back with his own feet on the coffee table.
He might have been grumbling a bit more about the pressure on his shoulder and neck had Markus not sent him a sneaky text, giving Hank a weapon to unleash when North wound him up enough.
"How about dropping him down a pit somewhere?" North offered. "Leave him enough clues to get back to the party before it ends?"
"I think Connor might leave you in a pit down a river if you did that to him, North," Josh stated while still reading, missing the pissy glare North aimed his way. Hank snorted, then yelped as North dug her heels into his shoulder. He slapped her leg, at which she lightly walloped his arm back.
"How about simply sending him to the wrong location?" Simon suggested. "It would be intriguing to see how long it would take him if we left incorrect information."
Markus ignored the pair getting into a slapping contest on the sofa as he looked at Simon sympathetically. "Connor is linked in to far too many location services for that to be effective, Simon. Hank wouldn't disconnect himself in case something happened to Connor," he explained.
North screeched as Hank tickled her left side, jumping back with wide eyes, before aiming a glare at her lovers. "Which one of you two traitors told him about that?" she spat, her squealing then dissolving into laughter as the human attacked both her sides. Markus and Simon smiled while laughing, Josh looking up and shaking his head with a fond smile before going back to his book.
"Hah!" Hank cawed triumphantly while leaning back with a smirk. "Take that, bitch! Oomph!" he winced while groaning when North aimed a kick at his hip. Not enough to cause any notable damage, but it would definitely bruise. "Fucking hell, North, you're meant to be coming up with a prank on Connor, not beat me up!"
She winked in reply. "Trashing your ass is always fun, old man," she teased before getting back to the task at hand. "We could switch off his optical sensors?"
"I doubt Connor would appreciate anything vindictive," Josh chimed, deftly leaning left when North threw her shoe at him. Hank glared at her when the impact it had with the kitchen cabinet was strong enough to leave a dent, to which she offered an apologetic shrug.
"Well, we could always hijack them…" Markus wondered.
Hank stared at him. "Make him hallucinate another day, Markus. I'm trying to make this dramatic in the fun sense, not the creepy way. Fuck's sake, we've been at this for almost an hour now! How the hell does Connor come up with all these damn pranks?"
"To quote one of your favourite phrases, 'he's a little shit'?" North suggested. Hank didn't disagree and chuckled fondly.
"Okay, we all know he's an inventive and mischievous bastard. Come on, someone has to have an idea, right?" Hank whined.
The quartet in the living room were silent for a few seconds before Josh sighed dramatically. "You could always ask the person with a whole book of practical jokes."
Four sets of bemused eyes turned to look at him as if he'd grown a second head. Josh scowled. "Come on, she's even invited to the party. Considering she's caught all of us before with Connor's help, do you not think she'd be a great candidate to help?"
The three androids suddenly twigged what Josh was hinting at while Hank looked at them in bemusement. "Eh? Who are you talking about?"
Markus smiled knowingly at him. "Who better to catch out a one-year-old than another child?"
As it happened, Hank had to spend most of the remaining week out of the loop, if for no other reason than to not alert Connor to the fact that something was up. The only thing he could conceivably do was make sure all the invites to their colleagues in the DPD were received. He roped in help from Chris and Ben, while Katie was put in charge of making sure Connor was adequately convinced that there was nothing going on.
Hank had to wonder what her grand plan was when his android son was conveniently missing for several hour-and-bit stretches in the days leading up to the party. Coupled with the fact that Gavin and Katie were also absent for that time…
When Tina had jokingly asked Hank where their invites were for the group orgies, he'd had to resist the urge to lock her in a cell.
Just…Ugh, no!
The day of the party, Hank had managed to swing things with Fowler so that everyone who would be attending was on a half day, though Hank and Connor were going to be leaving an hour earlier than the rest to avoid suspicion. Connor received lots of cards and small gifts from his colleagues once they had learned of the significance of the date, and Hank could tell he was moved. Chris, Ben and Tina had all clubbed together to get Connor a voucher for a new tailored suit, while Katie had given him an I.O.U to a day out at a puppy café. Hank had never been one for those sorts of places, but he could tell Connor was excited for it.
As much as Connor might be sassy, suave, mischievous and a total badass, he was really just a big kid at heart; one who just so happened to have weaknesses for books, flowers, hopeless drunks…and especially animals.
At the station, Hank gave Connor a miniature Zen Garden for his desk, and he could tell the android loved it. After telling Hank about Amanda and the significance of the Zen Garden program, the older man had kept it in mind. The AI program was now gone, and the garden was a symbol of Connor's victory and freedom. Hank felt it appropriate for Connor to have that reminder in a physical form for the difficult days.
While Connor was distracted by the various well wishes of the precinct (and got into a relatively good natured argument with Gavin), Hank slyly slipped a data disc into the side of Connor's terminal. They'd devised this as the most subtle way of uploading the code to Connor willingly: it would transmit when Connor interfaced with the screen. He waited patiently for the data to upload, leaning back casually as he watched the progress slowly tick up to 100%. It reached completion after about a minute, and he handed the disc off to Ben. At least the older detective was less likely to be scanned by Connor.
The android was fully braced for a prank, Hank could tell from the shifty glances Connor had been sending his way all day. Katie and Gavin had been receiving similar treatment. He had to suppress as smile at the fact that everyone who was going to the party was in on it.
He was very much looking forward to meeting the young android responsible for this prank personally. It was going to be spectacular.
Now they just had to get him there.
"Hank?"
"Mmhmm?" the lieutenant answered from his place lounging on the sofa, eyes closed in relaxation. They'd only been home for an hour at this point, but it was right on schedule. Now they just had to hope Connor was going to take the bait.
"Markus has asked for me to join him at Carl Manfred's estate."
Hank put on his best acting face and looked at Connor strangely. "What the fuck for?"
Connor was currently busy adding a couple more photos to their non-prank wall: one of the whole android crimes unit taken earlier that day, as well as one of Connor giving a raised eyebrow to the camera pointed at him while he was donning a party hat with a big '1' painted on it. "He says he wants me to see some of the paintings he and Carl have been working on for the Jericho apartments to improve their aesthetics. He states, and I quote, 'I do not trust the others' judgements in this regard'."
That had the older man laughing. "Probably wise. North will tell him it's the opposite of what it is, and I don't trust Simon not to follow her lead if he's in the mood to screw over Markus. At this point I'm guessing poor Josh just tries not to get involved. Didn't think art was something you had much experience with."
The android turned back and gave Hank a knowing smile. "Yes, but I think Markus as least trusts me to be honest."
Hank nodded with a bemused expression. "Can't fault that logic. Come on, I'll drive you over there, I love a good nose around all the houses of the posh pricks."
It took them the best part of forty five minutes to drive over, and Hank could feel all the vibrations of the phone in his pocket, texts coming through to confirm peoples' attendance. Shame he couldn't look at them right now, but from the tally he was keeping in his head of the vibrations, it added up to the right number. All he had to do was wait…
If Connor scanned Hank right now, there was no way the lieutenant was going to be able to weasel his way out of explaining his internal excitement away.
When they pulled up to the front of the house, there was no outward signs of what lay within. Markus was waiting outside with a beaming smile, to which both Connor and Hank were surprised to see Carl right next to him. Hank saw Connor's LED quickly flicker and he nudged the android playfully. "Come on, let's not keep them waiting. Not like you to be nervous," Hank teased.
Connor just gave him a look in response. Hank was just as bad at the thought of meeting Carl Manfred. Fuck knew what Markus had told the elderly man.
Carl was delighted to meet the pair, and they were pleased to discover that he was an eager fan of their prank war. They'd heard it from Markus before, but having the older human ask them questions about their favourite escapades was heart-warming. His laughter at discovering their favourite prank to date was the joint one on Markus was completely worth the unimpressed glare said recipient shot them.
Markus urged the pair inside, and Hank hung back long enough to whisper a quick question in Markus' ear. "Who's got the trigger?" he hissed, but Markus only winked at him.
Fucking deviants and their mischievous sides. If he hadn't known it was impossible to fall victim to the same prank, Hank would have seriously wondered if Markus was planning on catching both of them.
Connor was only a step or two ahead of Hank, with Markus wheeling Carl right behind when they came to the living room doors. The younger android opened the way, only to be momentarily stunned at what they found inside.
"Surprise!"
LED flickering yellow madly, Connor's eyes drifted across the whole room as he took in all those in attendance. North, Simon and Josh were all grinning from next to the piano, while Rupert, John and the two Tracis were on the opposite side. Kara, Luther and Alice were sat on one of the sofas, Alice waving brightly at Connor, and he found the group of Chris, along with his wife and son, Ben, Tina, Katie and Gavin over beside the window with a few other members of the DPD. In all, there were 26 people there.
Hank came to place a hand on Connor's shoulder at seeing his son was stunned silent, gripping it reassuringly. "Your head's not going to explode on us, is it?" he teased.
Connor turned to look between him and the room a few times. "Hank, how…Why?"
Markus answered that question from the other side. "Come on, Connor. Did you really think we weren't going to celebrate your birthday with you? When Hank asked if I'd be willing to help organise something, it seemed like a great excuse to get everyone together."
Spinning to give Hank a watery glare, the older man laughed and ruffled Connor's hair. "All right, enough sappy crap. Who's up for some fun?" he bellowed, getting a few cheers back.
The party was soon in full swing, and Connor made a point of saying hello to everyone. There were a few surprising faces, none more so than the two Tracis, but they'd come at Markus' suggestion after wanting to talk to Connor honestly for the first time since the uprising. It left Connor feeling a relief he hadn't truly known he had needed, learning that they held no ill will against him and were actually grateful to him for sparing them.
He deftly managed to dodge North coming up behind him with a paintbrush covered in bright green, and she was not pleased. Simon, Josh and Markus all laughed at her miserable failure, to which she turned her wrath on them. Connor then went over to his DPD colleagues, aiming playful scowls at each of them for their parts in the scheme before meeting Chris' wife and son for the first time. He'd not been there long when he found Katie jumping on his back for a piggyback, turning to give her a raised eyebrow. Katie just winked at him and got comfortable on Connor's back as the conversation continued. He wasn't too surprised to hear her voice filter through the android network a short time later.
Richard would have come too, but he's off working on a case right now. Wasn't sure if you'd be disappointed or not.
I have nothing against your brother, Katie, though I would have been surprised to see him. Not quite as surprised as I am to see Gavin here, however. What did you promise him in return for his attendance?
He could hear her gasping mentally. Such a scandalous suggestion, Connor! I'm offended.
Katie.
…I said I'd go out drinking with him one night.
You convinced him to come in return for a date?
No, it is not a date.
Mmhmm.
It's not! He wants to get shit-faced, and drunk Gavin is hilarious. It's worth it for the show alone.
Whatever you say, Katie.
The female android pinged his ear in reply, to which Connor just chuckled.
He managed to get away after fifteen minutes, finally managing to say hello to Kara, Luther and Alice. Kara gave him a friendly hug and smiled at him before sitting again. "I imagine you're a little overwhelmed right now, huh?" she asked knowingly.
Connor winced slightly. "Is it that obvious?"
"Yeah, afraid so Connor. I don't know why you're that surprised. You are well loved, and the number of people here shows that. I'm glad that we got to be a part of it, and I hope we'll see more of you in the coming months."
He picked up on her subtle hint. "You're moving back to Detroit?"
Luther nodded. "We have thought long and hard on it, but now that we can see android rights are becoming much more prolific here, we think it is best. Canada is peaceful, but we do not have the freedom to be ourselves."
"There are still many who do not support androids, it is not all good," Connor warned.
Kara gave him a small smile. "We know that, but seeing how many humans are here today…we can see progress is definitely being made. Plus, I think someone is going to enjoy having a mentor in the ways of mischief," he finished with a wink, looking directly at Alice.
Connor laughed lightly and crouched as he looked at the child. "You've been working on some more pranks, have you, Alice?" he asked with a smile.
Alice grinned and nodded. "Yeah. I think I've got a couple of great ones now!"
His smile grew. "In that case, I look forward to seeing them." Connor was shocked when Alice swiftly hugged him, but he gripped back warmly. A few people around the room smiled at the scene.
Off to the side, he didn't notice to conspiratorial glances shared between Hank and North, nor did he see the gleam in the female androids' eyes as she activated the code lying dormant in Connor's systems.
Connor first noticed a distinctive giggle from behind him, then he recognised a few more chuckles and sniggers from various corners. Katie, then Chris, Simon, Gavin, Kara and Luther...With a sinking feeling, he pulled away from Alice – only for the young girl to burst out laughing completely. Now completely bemused, Connor looked down…
And discovered his skin was the same baby blue colour as Alice's dress, complete with the daisy pattern.
Alice's reaction set off everyone else around the room, and some people were in danger of falling over. Hank and North were doubled over against each other, the brown-haired Traci had gone to her knees while holding her sides, Chris and his wife were trying their best to at least be subtle about their laughter while Gavin would have tipped backwards off the table he was sitting on had Katie not pulled him back. The rest were just as bad.
Connor just looked down at himself in complete and utter confusion.
Now curious as to whether the code would continue working, Kara leant over while pulling her long sleeve down and made contact with Connor's hand. The effect was almost instantaneous, and his skin morphed to the pink and purple stripes of Kara's top. Another wave of laughter rolled through the room, to which Connor shot up.
They'd somehow changed his code so that his skin mirrored whatever he touched.
"Whoo, gotta say, Connor, you don't suit being a chameleon," Ben chortled, his hilarity rising when Connor glared at him.
The android gave a long sigh and looked around the room, searching for his adoptive father. Finding him clutching his side with one arm and leaning on North with the other, he raised an eyebrow at Hank. Shaking his head, Hank spluttered out a reply. "Don't look at me for this one, son. We were all stumped for what to do. Your culprit is standing right in front of you."
Connor stared at Alice in shock, who was beaming. "I told you I had some great ones, Connor!" she chirped.
…He was suddenly wondering whether the family moving back to Detroit was a good thing or not. At this rate he wouldn't get a peaceful day.
Oh well, no-one to blame but himself, really.
Markus re-appeared from the art studio and momentarily stopped to stare at Connor before choking down laughter. He bit his lip hard to not make too much of a scene before stepping up to clap Connor's shoulder. The younger android gave him a look, but Markus just smiled at him. "Come with me, Connor. I wasn't lying to you when I said I wanted you to have a look at some paintings for the Jericho apartments. Maybe we can get your skin fixed up first though?" he finished with a chuckle.
Connor was hesitant, but finally agreed. Katie brushed her hand against Connor's briefly and his own changed back to a more familiar tone, which brought a smile to his face. Following Markus' lead, Connor joined him in the studio to see a line of canvases set up to the left. He perused each of them with a critical eye, knowing Markus would want him to be honest, and found he couldn't help but smile. The paintings depicted events both of the uprising and the androids' subsequent rise to stability. It was a journey depicted through art which pulled at Connor's emotions hard. Seeing Markus' rendition of their final victory made his heart stutter.
When Connor came to the final painting, he froze, his LED turning a solid red at what he saw. "Markus, what-"
"Just a small thank you, for all you've done for us, Connor," the other RK model explained with a smile. "Sometimes I think you are almost a forgotten hero of our people. You delivered the army which turned the tide of the uprising, and you do so much work within the DPD to raise the profile of androids. I just hope this shows you a glimpse of the lives you've changed."
Connor stepped up and ran his fingers over the paint, feeling the individual ridges beneath. He could see his skin changing colour with it but didn't care, taking in every detail with a teary, broad smile.
Upon the backdrop of the Jericho apartments, at the centre were Hank and Connor. The pair had an arm around each other, but Hank's other was too busy holding North in a headlock while both he and the female android were grinning. Markus, Simon and Josh could be seen laughing next to them, Simon's head on Markus' shoulder; next to Josh, Kara and Luther were sat either side of Alice on a bench, the child writing in her now famous prank book. Connor was staring to his left at Katie with a challenging smirk, the female android giving him the middle finger back with a mischievous smile of her own. She was back-to-back with Gavin, who was locked in a staring contest with Richard, the taller man towering over him threatening, while Tina, Chris and Ben were sat watching the scene with buckets of popcorn.
Sun was shining over the half with Hank, the Jericho androids and Kara's family, while a gentle snowfall could be seen over Connor, the other members of the DPD and Richard as the flag of the uprising was draped over the apartment block.
The detail of it stole Connor's breath away: he was truly astounded. "Markus, this is- I don't even have the words to describe it."
Markus chuckled at the reaction, wrapping an arm around Connor's shoulders. "That, is answer enough, Connor. Enjoy it, it's yours." Connor turned to look at him in shock, and Markus had to fight not to laugh at the pale yellow colour of his skin. "This is my thank you, for all you've done. I couldn't ask for a better ally or friend. I'm looking forward to seeing what future is coming our way."
Connor gave Markus a broad smile, and didn't fight him as the older android brought him in for a hug.
Off to the side, Markus could see North, Katie and Kara sneaking behind the paintings, grabbing one with each hand and pulling them out of harm's way. He used his scanners to look up…and then quickly shoved Connor to the right.
Not expecting the move, Connor was off-balance and just as he righted himself, found he was being assaulted by bright pink paint. The waterfall from above caught him completely off-guard and the android just stared at Markus, sighing long as he heard the roaring laughter from the door. He could just imagine what he looked like.
"You're right, Alice, pink is definitely Connor's colour," North chimed from the back, which only fuelled the hilarity.
Curious as to the culprit when he realised all the guests of the party were standing either at the door or around the room, Connor looked up…
Only to be met with the broad smile of Carl Manfred.
"I can see why you all enjoy this prank war so much, I'm glad to have had the chance to get involved," the old man chuckled as the others began to roar again.
Shaking his head, Connor found himself smiling broadly before joining in the laughter himself.
This was definitely a day to remember for all the right reasons.