Well, that chapter was a popular one! Though I'm not surprised that a few of you weren't happy that Connor didn't win. Sorry, but Richard was always going to make sure that Connor stayed behind him, even if he had to resort to some dirty tactics. But don't worry, Connor is going to get some payback on Hank in return. Not right away, but he will get some revenge.
And now for some fun. I swear if androids turn out to have such a fascination for pranks as they do in this series, the world is going to burn. They won't take over because they deem humans dangerous, it's because the world will be too busy continually one-upping each other that nothing will get done.
By the way, there's a little hint of my personal headcanon for Gavin in this chapter. Not much, but it links back to Under My Skin, where you can learn the rest later.
Special thanks for reviews: lordvaatithewindmage, MugetsuPipefox, xNarielx, HK800, Minecraft Guardiansaiyan, AnUnorthodoxDecision and one Guest.
Something was up with Connor.
Hank often found himself wondering such a thing, his son could be somewhat of an enigma when he wanted to be. While Connor was normally open and honest (if somewhat of a sassy shit while he was at it), he was good at keeping to himself if something was on his mind and he wasn't ready to share it. Hank could only imagine the mental issues that came with suddenly facing the full force of emotion. As a general rule, Connor handled it well, even if he sometimes went quiet in accepting whatever he was feeling.
This wasn't that. Connor had been acting off all morning: he was…insular and aloof. That was completely unlike him.
It wasn't as if Hank was the only one who had noticed. Funnily enough, the other one who had pointedly realised Connor was out of sorts was Gavin. Ironic when it come about because one of Gavin's usual insults got a cutting response. That had raised an eyebrow seeing as the two of them were actually getting on better nowadays.
He'd maybe ask Katie when she came in for the evening shift in a couple of hours, seeing as she and Gavin were actually on different stints today. The female android could interface with Connor to find out what was wrong if he wasn't willing to be vocal about it.
They were now three hours into their own shift and Hank was beginning to have enough of it. Connor was being abrupt with many of their colleagues to the point of almost being rude, and it was causing a slight tension. He strode over to his son's desk and firmly planted a hand down on it. The android looked at him in mild surprise, but his face remained serious. Hank was so used to Connor having a little smirk nowadays that he knew something was wrong. "Observation Room 2, now," the lieutenant barked lowly, making sure no-one else got too nosy.
Connor raised an eyebrow, but Hank could see him stand and follow to the rooms at the back of the floor. Now they could have some privacy.
Raising his hand to open the room, Hank waited until Connor was inside before closing the door behind him and locking it. It would only last ten minutes, but that would be plenty time. "What the fuck is up with you today?" Hank demanded, crossing his arms while staring Connor down.
Giving a steady gaze of his own, Connor leant back against the far wall while crossing his own arms. "Whatever gave you the impression there is something on my mind?" he answered blandly, which just got Hank's blood pressure boiling. As much as he called Connor a little shit, he'd never quite thought of it in such a venomous way before.
"Cut the crap, Connor. You're being an ass, and I want to know why," Hank snapped back.
"I hardly think that I am behaving that out of character, Lieutenant."
Hank recoiled at that "'Lieutenant'? You don't call me that unless you're pissed at something or you're-"
Another thought jumped into Hank's head and slammed into him with such force that it almost stole the breath from his lungs.
No, it couldn't be…
But it made sense. The posture, mannerisms, speech…it was all different. He could have cursed himself for being a fool and not seeing it sooner. Hank didn't come into work with Connor this morning, his son had been at the Jericho apartments overnight to help Markus and co. with a project. He hadn't seen him since the previous night. Which left an almost sinister possibility.
This wasn't Connor.
Hank swiftly drew his gun and pointed it at the android masquerading as his son. "Game's up, you bastard," he hissed angrily. "Where's Connor?"
Much to Hank's surprise, the android smirked and chuckled. "Not bad, Lieutenant. Looks like Connor has won that section of our little bet."
Looking over in confusion, Hank paused for a second. "Wait, what? Bet? What the hell-" And then Hank realised that there was only one person who a) was similar enough to act like a slightly more menacing version of Connor, and b) would actually be twisted enough to try. "Holy fuck, Richard?"
The smirk grew. "Impressive, Lieutenant. I didn't think you'd work out my identity quite that fast, even after realising I wasn't Connor. I assumed that you would presume me to be another RK800 masquerading as him."
Now satisfied that he knew just whohe was with, Hank stowed his gun again. "Not gonna lie, it's only cause I know how much of a dick you are." Richard chuckled again. "But still, what the hell is this? How are you- Wait, did you and Connor change bodies?"
"Correct. We devised this plan some time ago, and now that we know the success of the wireless backup system, a method of transferring our consciousnesses between bodies became available to-"
Hank rolled his eyes. "In fucking English, Richard. God, I don't miss Connor speaking in technobabble."
Richard stared at him, unimpressed. "We uploaded our minds to the backup system, then were downloaded back into the opposite bodies. Safe to say, it is somewhat of an adjustment."
Suddenly uncomfortable, Hank gave Richard a look. "Hang on, does that mean you have access to Connor's memories and all that?"
"Not at all: Connor and I encrypted all the data we were uncomfortable sharing, on both sides. Most of his is with regard to his personal relationships, while mine is due to my work. Anything we believed necessary to maintain our illusions was left available."
Hank smiled nastily. "Hate to break it to you, Richard, but you suck at acting like Connor. Guess you can take the asshole out of the body, but the shit attitude still hangs around like a bad smell." The LED on the side of Richard's head flashed red several times, causing Hank to bark in laughter. "Ouch, did I hit a sore spot? Didn't take you for such a pansy."
"To quote yourself and several of your colleagues, fuck off."
The human roared in amusement, and despite his mild annoyance, Richard did join in briefly. "Okay, so I know how you're in Connor's body; doesn't explain the why though."
Richard's smirk reappeared. "A little experiment you might say. Connor and I are intrigued by how long it will take our colleagues to notice something is awry. I must say I am disappointed, Perkins' paranoia surrounding androids seems to have not led him to the correct conclusion."
That had Hank smiling. "You're telling me Connor volunteered to stick himself with Perkins for the day? Why the hell would he do that?"
"You will find out later today, Lieutenant – he has yet another appointment with the Captain after all."
"…You think I'd get away with breaking the fucker's nose again?"
"I would not normally encourage violence…but I am willing to disable all recording equipment for a time."
"…Damn, you're actually being decent for a change."
Richard chuckled. "Don't get used to it, Lieutenant. I have an image to maintain after all."
Now that he knew what was going on, Hank had swiftly texted Connor (aka, using Richard's number since the two of them had swapped bodies…to be honest, it had gone well over Hank's head, but the responses he was getting sounded too much like his son for Richard to be faking it). Connor's answers had been intense amusement at knowing he'd correctly guessed that Hank would know something was wrong very quickly, and then excitement for what was to come later that day.
Apparently, their little experiment and bet was something on the side for the main attraction…Richard had drafted Connor in to freak Perkins out when the man discovered that he'd been with a totally different android for the whole day. It seemed that even the stoic, serious, asshat of an android got tired of Perkins' bullshit after enough time, and Hank would be the first to admit that he was looking forward to Perkins' reaction. The man continued to hate androids, so this was bound to cause him a lot of distress.
It almost sounded more appealing than punching the man…almost, but not quite.
And knowing Connor, his son was not going to be able to resist catching Perkins out while he was at it.
Hank had subtly passed the news along the android crimes division that while it may look like Connor, it was actually Katie's brother that was with them for the day. That had gathered a few stunned faces, but eventually it won out to intrigue. No-one had really gotten the chance to speak with Richard the last time he was in the precinct due to Katie rapidly ushering him out, and a few braver souls (Chris among them) decided to try speaking to him. It seemed that Richard liked a few of them by the subtle smiles that were creeping out.
…Huh, he was seeing a lot of different sides to the android today. Maybe Connor wasn't just being polite when he said that Richard could be decent company after all (even if he was still a condescending asshole).
"Can we talk?"
The new voice brought Hank out of his musings, and his eyebrows almost hit his hairline at seeing who had just approached Richard and Chris. Well now...was this Gavin thinking he was about to square up to Connor, or had someone let him in on the secret? Nah, he didn't think Gavin would be brave enough to tackle Katie's brother quite yet. Hank still vividly remembered Gavin's expression from the last time they crossed paths as per the photo hanging up on their living room wall. It brought him glee thinking about it, even if Gavin was more tolerable that he had been in-
Hank sat back and sighed. Now that he'd dug his own head out of his ass, he couldn't really blame Gavin for how he'd acted. While Hank had internalised his own grief, Gavin had externalised it. It didn't excuse him for being a colossal ass…but Hank could understand better than he wanted to admit.
Richard left with Gavin as Chris wandered over sit next to the older man. "Well, Richard's an interesting character," he said while watching the other two head to the break room.
Scoffing, Hank gave Chris a look. "I think the term you are looking for is 'fucking asshole', Chris." The younger man laughed while shaking his head. "Seriously, you didn't get that impression?"
"Partially, but I honestly think Richard puts a lot of it on. Katie speaks very fondly of him, and seeing as she doesn't take any shit from anyone, I'd think she would say if she thought otherwise."
"Hmmm, maybe. Still doesn't mean I have to give him the time of day if he's being a twat." Chris smiled, but the two of them were surprised by the appearance of a familiar female figure. Well, familiar as she could be when she was now sporting hair of three shades: light blue, dark blue and purple. Where did she come up with these colours anyway?
"Where is he and how many people has he pissed off?" she asked, exasperated.
"Hello to you too, Katie," Hank chuckled, Chris joining in. "Not that many, actually, he's been sitting here somehow managing to keep up with Connor's work. I can only guess that Connor actually told him enough to maintain the pretence."
Katie sighed and sat down in Connor's chair, leaning her head in the hand which rested on his desk. "I can't believe these two thought this was a good idea…I honestly thought they had a bit more sense!"
Chris laughed. "Connor's a bit of a daredevil, I'm willing to bet he was keen for this. Plus, the Lieutenant and I are adamant that Connor is going to prank Perkins as payback."
Now that had Katie's interest. "Really? Well, if he does, I hope he doesn't get Richard in trouble for it. Nothing against Connor, but that is not the sort of headache Richard needs in the FBI." It was now that Katie noticed that her partner was nowhere to be seen, and when she made a quick scan of the floor, she couldn't believe what she found. "No way… There's no way Gavin is speaking with him right now."
"Gavin doesn't know it's Richard, Katie. I'm pretty sure he just thinks Connor is having an off day," Hank added.
"Nope, Gavin knows. He unintentionally called it an hour ago."
Both Hank and Chris looked at her in shock. "The fuck? Are you kidding?" Katie pulled out her phone, she still carried it with her out of habit now, and brought up the conversation she and Gavin had via message.
You know whats crawled up Connors ass today?
Nothing, so far as I'm aware. Why?
Hes just being an ass. Connor is a sarcastic bitch but not a shithead.
I am honestly surprised that you are caring, Gavin.
Hey im making an effort Katie. I did say I would. Whatever hes just reminding me a lot of your asshole of a brother today.
Um, well…
Well what?
You're actually pretty damn close to the truth there, Gavin.
…
Connor and Richard have swapped bodies.
THE FUCK! NO WONDER HE WAS BEING SUCH A CUNT!
GAVIN!
WHAT?! Sorry Katie but you know that your brother is an asshole of the highest order.
He is to you cause he doesn't like you.
Awww doesnt like that im getting too close to his sister huh?
If he knew just how close we were, he'd be a lot less enamoured with you.
Making me feel so loved.
That's what I'm here for!
"No fucking way Gavin called it before any of us did!" Hank bellowed while handing the phone back over. He decided calling Katie out on the last portion of the conversation would not land him her good books. Not that it really told him much, a few people were adamant the pair were a thing now, even if Connor assured him that they hadn't actually got around fessing up to each other yet.
Seriously, how long were they going to dance around it?
Katie smiled at them. "Hate to break it to you guys, but he did, though granted it wasn't on purpose like you, Lieutenant. Still, makes me wonder why Gavin is talking to him considering he knows…"
"Is that why you're here so early, Katie?" Chris wondered.
"Yeah, I wanted to make sure Rich didn't land Connor in a lot of trouble unintentionally by being an ass. He might be brilliant and creative, but his social skills are a little backward."
The other two laughed at that, and while they stared at the seemingly serious, but controlled, conversation in the break room, another silhouette passed in front of it which had them all snapping to attention. "Well, well, looks like someone's decided to pay a visit," Hank smirked, waiting eagerly for Perkins to follow behind Richard's (ie. Connor's) form.
Except the android knocked on Fowler's office and went in without waiting.
"Okay, that's…odd," Ben said from his own desk, and the others couldn't help but agree. They couldn't see any reason for Connor to have come ahead of Perkins.
Unless…
Oh boy, what have you done, Connor?
A few minutes later, the android emerged in a perfect imitation of Richard's severe demeanour and headed towards the small gathering around Hank and Connor's desks. "Afternoon," he greeted stoically.
Hank elbowed him. "Cut the act, Connor, we all know it's you."
Sure enough, the familiar smirk appeared a second later. "How many people are aware?" he asked, though hearing the slightly snarky tone in Richard's voice was more than a little odd.
"Just the android crimes division, Katie and Gavin so far as we can tell," Chris informed him, still smiling.
Connor raised an eyebrow in the direction of Katie. "Gavin knows?"
She nodded towards the break room. "That isn't the weirdest bit," she told him, snickering as even Connor did a double take at the duo of Gavin and Richard still speaking in, what they could tell was, amiable conversation.
"He's feeling brave," Connor noted while giving Katie a pointed look. She simply shrugged and winked back at him, to which Connor snorted.
"Okay, so how come you're here without that weasel Perkins?" Hank asked.
Connor's smirk grew even more, and there was an unmistakeable twinkle in his (Richard's, technically), eye. "Let's wait until the other two return from their conversation, shall we? Richard is going to have to deal with the aftermath after all."
"Oh god, what have you done, Connor?" Katie giggled. Connor just winked at her.
They only had to wait another ten minutes before Richard and Gavin joined them, the other RK coming to a stop next to Connor while Gavin stood next to Katie, who was still lounged in Connor's chair. She gave him a curious stare, but Gavin only shook his head in reply. Hank could read that body language anywhere: Gavin wasn't willing to talk with so many others around.
Hank would be the first to admit that seeing Connor's normally friendly demeanour showing through in the taller android's body while Richard's own more severe one came out through Connor's body was a complete mind fuck. He'd have to ask them never to do this again, it was creepy as hell.
"So, how did your day go?" Connor asked with a slight smile.
Richard sighed tiredly. "Mildly irritating: your colleagues were rather adept at spying something was out of place."
"Or it could just be that you're completely shit at acting like Connor," Gavin pointed out, earning a narrow glare in response. Katie elbowed Gavin gently, but the smile on her face gave away that she was amused. Gavin winked in reply to her, causing Richard's stare to grow a shade colder.
"Well, Reed ain't wrong," Hank added. "Don't take up a career in acting, Richard. It ain't your forte."
As the others snickered, Richard turned his gaze back to Connor. "And how about yourself, Connor?" he asked.
Connor's smile was rather smug. "Highly successful, you could say. Agent Perkins had absolutely zero inclination as to why 'you' were in a, and I quote, 'too sassy for my taste' mood." The rest howled in laughter as Richard groaned. "It was quite rewarding."
"And he did not suspect anything?"
"No, he was adamant that you were simply in a different state of mind."
"Well he ain't too wrong there," Chris noted.
"So, that brings us back to the question of the hour. Where is that shit?" Hank wondered.
Connor chuckled. "I had the honour of informing the Captain that Special Agent Perkins will not be able to make his appointment this afternoon as he is…en route to a different state."
Katie swallowed back a laugh at the mild look of horror on Richard's face. "Connor, what the hell did you do?"
The android shrugged innocently. "It is not my fault that I was out doing some reconnaissance work when Perkins decided to take a taxi to meet me…a taxi which has malfunctioned and in now heading towards Ohio."
Everyone doubled over laughing bar Richard, but even the normally stoic android had a definite hint of glee on his face. "Holy fuck, Connor. Damn, I wish I could hear all the swearing he'll be doing as that meter racks up and he gets further and further away. How the hell did you manage that?" Hank wheezed.
Connor winked at him. "Now that would be telling, Hank. I may use this trick again, after all."
While the others continued laughing, Hank gulped. There was no mistaking that threat.
Oh fuck, I don't want to know what he's got planned.
"So, before we go back to our own lives, I believe there is the small issue of settling our little bet," Connor gloated, earning a stare back from Richard.
"Oh yeah! Rich bet that Perkins would work out something was up before anyone from the DPD did," Katie grinned. "Did you two ever agree on what the forfeit would be?"
"Sadly not," Richard groused.
As it so happened, Connor had a solution in mind. "Well, why don't you have the honour of fetching Perkins? I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you managed to fix the error in the taxi after investigating the cause."
Richard glared in response. "You little shit…"
"Not like you to lose your cool," Connor smirked, enjoying every second of having one-upped the other android. After losing the race in part due Richard's underhanded tactics, it was great revenge. "Shall we?"
A few minutes later saw the pair back in their own bodies, though Richard pointedly took off without another word. Connor returned to the bullpen with a triumphant smile still in place. "Well, that was fun," he stated, earning a few laughs in reply. He then turned his focus to Gavin, who raised an eyebrow back at him. "No offence intended here, Gavin, but how did you realise that it wasn't me, first?"
Gavin shrugged. "You're a sassy bitch, not an out and out dick. When he called me a 'venomous, self-absorbed prick', it was a bit odd."
"Meow," Katie winced, wondering even more what the pair of them said now.
"Yeouch, he wasn't holding back," Hank stated while he chuckled. Gavin gave a dismissive shrug and wandered away, Katie following with him after giving Connor a quick hug. Once the bullpen got back to a sense of normality, with Connor now back at his desk and a contented smile, Hank shouted out to him. "You seem happy with how today went."
Connor's smile grew. "Indeed I am. Perkins got some payback for his less that appealing attitude, Richard now has the dubious joy of retrieving him and explaining what happened, and I got to see how easy it was for all of you to realise something was amiss." Connor's expression turned fond as he looked Hank in that eye, having gone through his memories of that morning. "Pulling your gun on him was a bold move after one wrong statement on his part."
Hank shrugged. "I knew it wasn't you, and I wasn't in the mood to mess around. I just wanted to know you were safe."
"I appreciate it, Dad."
"For fuck's sake, Connor, don't get all sappy on my ass." Connor chuckled and went back to working, but Hank wasn't done. "I get the feeling you enjoyed getting the best of Richard today."
Smile turning slightly nasty, Connor kept his eyes on the screen. "It was gratifying for sure, but I'm not done. After all…" He finally looked back up at Hank. "Richard's dirty play wasn't the only reason I lost the race between the RKs."
And now Hank was nervous. "Hey, come on, son…I wasn't the only one who pulled a prank!"
"Granted, but I lost severely more time that either Richard or Markus. And I do not like to lose unfairly."
Hank swallowed, not liking the twinkle in Connor's eye.
I'm so fucked.