Hey all!
Before we start this chapter, I just want to extend a massive thank you to all of those who got in touch after the last update. It was a massive confidence boost after all of that crap, and I could never express how grateful I am; but I am also so thankful to all of those who are continuing to read this fic. I can't believe that it is now past 30 chapters, that is absolutely nuts! I'm so happy to be sharing in this crazy ride with all of you, wherever it lands up!
I'm putting out a little cry for help again, though. I have enough material for another 7 pranks and am starting to come a little unstuck with ideas. It would be amazing if you'd be able to help me keep the momentum of this fic going with some wicked suggestions!
Special thanks for reviews: Mr nod, xNarielx, ChelGallifreyHookCas221B613, MugestuPipefox, AnUnorthodoxDecision, lordvaatithewindmage, HK800, MagicalWitch92, Minecraft Guardiansaiyan, Tidem and one Guest.
Heads up! This chapter directly follows the events of my Xmas one-shot Home Is Where The Heart Is, and I'd recommend reading it to understand everything that is going on here. You can follow this chapter without having done so, but you'll notice a few things which make a lot more sense have read it. And…that leads directly into why this prank is happening, or at least the motivation behind it. This one is a little more personal. For those who are interested, this takes place after the end of Under My Skin.
December 31st 2039. What a crazy fuckin' year it had been. Hank knew he'd be sad to see 2039 go, it had been a special year all around.
The most important part of the year was that he had a family again. After all the heartache of Cole's loss, he'd have never again thought he'd let someone in close enough to face that potential hurt. Their misadventure in the lead up to Christmas had almost seen Hank's worst fears realised once again, but despite all the scares, headaches and how often Connor may drive him to distraction, Hank would never regret adopting the android. Connor had completely transformed his life, and he was so proud to be able to tell people that Connor was his son.
He still hadn't quite come to terms with the fact that he now had a wayward pseudo-grandson out there somewhere, but an absolute shit ton had happened in the past two and a half months. Hank thought he could be forgiven for not having not quite got his head round that one yet.
And then of course, who could forget their now legendary prank war. Back on the very first day where he'd nailed Connor with the water balloons, he'd never have dreamed of where they were now. The pranks seemed to be getting bigger and more dramatic every time. Had Hank not known all those involved in the war so well and trusted them (well…yeah, all right, after recent events he figured Gavin could be trusted to be non-malicious now), he might have been worried for the year ahead. As it was, he couldn't wait to see what was coming next.
If someone had told him at the start of 2039 that by the end of the year he would be enjoying his job again, having the time of his life as part of a huge game that made him feel twenty years younger, and would have a new family, he'd have dangled them off the side of the Ambassador bridge head-first, and maybe dropped them if he felt so inclined.
Huh, that's not a bad idea to use on North sometime, actually… All the bitching and the scrapes I'd come out with at the end would totally be worth it.
Hank looked over from his desk towards his son on the other side, only to see Connor fiddling with the leather band around his wrist as he thought. He smiled warmly at the subconscious gesture, having done it with his own similar version since receiving the gift at Christmas. Their day in the precinct had been slow, contrary to all expectations, and it was ridiculously quiet. About a third of the android crimes division were off on holiday, including Chris, and the other side of the bullpen was dead too. Tina was away seeing her family and wouldn't be back until next week, and it would be anybody's guess how long it took for Gavin and Katie to come back.
Thinking about the absent pair of detectives made Hank exhale slowly. He hadn't really realised how much he enjoyed and thrived off the fun that always came about from their playful fighting, or how quiet it was without Katie and Connor speaking at the next desk along. Hell, after having been partnered with Gavin for two months, Hank missed him as much as he did Katie. After what had happened that final night of the undercover operation, he couldn't help but worry about them.
He didn't know the whole story, but what he did know was enough. Something had gone badly wrong, resulting in Fowler calling everyone in at 2am for an early morning raid to bring the club down. Hank wouldn't soon forget the state he'd found Connor or Gavin in, rushing in as soon he'd got the call.
Both of them had been bloodied, battered and carrying such haunting looks…half-mad and guilt-ridden. Thank fuck they'd gotten Katie back safely, Hank couldn't bear to think what either of them would have done had they not. Still, he could tell that there had been lasting mental effects to all three of them. Connor hadn't shown too much as yet, he'd thrown himself fully into closing out the investigation now that they had all the proof they needed, but Hank could tell it was only a short-term solution. After the events of Christmas, however, he could see Connor was lost in thought a lot more often now.
"You seem pensive, Hank."
The human snapped back to attention at seeing Connor was now looking up at him curiously. Hank gave him a warm smile in reassurance. "Just thinking back on this year and how crazy it's been," he answered. "Some of it's been real shit, but a hell of a lot more good stuff than bad for the first time in years." His gaze fell to the empty desks across the room. "You heard from either of them?"
Connor's gaze fell back to the leather around his wrist. "I last heard from Katie on the 26th. She was at Gavin's after spending part of Christmas with her family, and then going back to his. From what I can tell, they've not yet spent a whole day apart since the end of the operation."
Hank's expression turned understanding. He'd been a part of a few undercover ops over the years, and it always took time to adjust back – especially after one that goes to shit. "They gonna be all right?"
"It will take some time for them to recover. More so Gavin…but yes, I think they will be."
"Who knows, maybe this will finally get the two of them to fess up about being head over heels for each other." Connor pointedly didn't look at Hank, which suddenly had the older man suspicious. "No fuckin' way…they're a thing now, aren't they?"
The android's smile was soft. "Let's just say that it is well-known that their feelings are mutual." He looked over again. "I firmly believe that they will help each other heal after all that happened."
"Good for them," Hank said firmly. "I'm guessing they won't be at the party tonight, then."
"I would be very surprised: they'll both be happy to have a quiet celebration of the new year on their own, I believe." Connor gave Hank a warm smile. "I still can't quite believe that you decided that would come to anything organised by North and Simon."
Hank laughed. "Regardless of anything else, it'll be funny as fuck. Besides, there ain't going to be that many people there, is there?"
"No. Ourselves along with Markus, who is bringing Carl to the Jericho apartments: his carer, Adam, is joining as well. Other than that, it is just North, Simon, Josh, Kara, Luther and Alice. There are eleven different parties going on just in the apartments tonight – many more are joining the celebrations in the city."
"Whoo, there's going to be some atmosphere, that's for sure."
Connor looked at him in concern. "Do you think we should be leaving Sumo with so many fireworks?"
Hank laughed. "Don't worry about him, Connor. He's fine with them, slept through the whole lot last year." The previous New Year had seen Connor working through the bells after a late call-out and Hank spending it at home with just Sumo. They were both glad that they were off the clock as of 6pm.
"That's good." Connor turned back to his terminal and went back to work, but Hank could tell his thoughts were still far away: and from the way he kept spinning the leather band, he knew who Connor was thinking about.
"I know this ain't going to stop you, but don't worry about him. The kid's smart and brave, he'll be fine. You and I both know he can take care of himself and will be back soon."
Connor chuckled. "Speaking from experience, Hank?"
"I've got plenty of practice with your escapades, Connor. From what we saw of your boy, at least he has a healthier sense of self-preservation." Connor glared at him good naturedly, but took the jibe in stride. It was kind of deserved.
Thinking about that had Hank's eyes drifting to the miniature Zen Garden on Connor's desk. He'd got that for Connor as a birthday present after hearing about how his son had fought against CyberLife's programming at the androids' final victory of the uprising. It was meant as a reminder of all that he'd overcome.
And then a thought suddenly hit him like a freight train. "Hey, Connor?"
"Yes, Hank?"
"When you pulled yourself and Kieran into your mind palace, did you know that the Amanda AI would still be there, or were you surprised by her?"
"I had a strong suspicion she would still be there: I merely escaped her, I didn't deactivate her. So long as I didn't return, she wasn't a threat. Why?"
"No reason," Hank threw back idly, but inside he was seething. Months ago, Connor had told him that when he'd used Kamski's backdoor that he had taken control of his own mind palace fully. If Connor had guessed Amanda was still there but just couldn't reach him unless he went back in willingly, then that meant Connor had lied originally.
Well…that put a new spin on things.
Hank snatched up his phone and fired a quick message to North.
Bitch, I need a favour.
It only took seconds for her to get back to him.
I'm a little busy right now, you old bastard. Can't it wait until tonight?
No it fuckin' can't.
Sheesh, you sound pissed. Who am I shooting?
No-one, but yeah, I'm raging. Got a shopping list for you, get this shit together and I'll work out a plan.
Who you using this crap on?
I'm gonna teach my son that's it's a big fuckin' mistake lying to me.
Ouch, I feel bad for Connor already. Tell you what, I've got a better idea.
Hank read over her next message quickly, to which he had to desperately fight the grin which threatened to split his face.
You're a fucking genius, North.
You say that as if it's news, Hank.
About as much news as it is that you're an insufferable cow.
Fuck you too.
I'll take a hard pass on that, you get plenty of action already.
Hell yeah I do! You're just jealous.
He laughed quietly at the texts and rolled his eyes at her responses. "Jesus fucking Christ, what have I just put in motion?"
Only one way to find out.
The pair arrived at the Jericho apartments at just gone 10. They would have been much earlier, but Connor had decided rather resolutely that he wanted to check in on Gavin and Katie after their conversation in the precinct. Hank didn't argue with him, and had been rather surprised at what he found. They had ended up at Gavin's apartment for around thirty minutes after learning that Katie and Dust were both staying there for a while, and he had learned a lot while there.
And, shockingly, it was not so much about Gavin and Katie. After Connor made a cheap comment about her boyfriend being just as bad for leaving rubbish lying around as he had been in Connor's car during the undercover op, Katie had simply giggled while Gavin shrugged. They were making zero effort to hide it, and Hank was pleased for them: it was about damn time. The bit that did catch Hank off-guard, was how Connor and Gavin actually got into a friendly and relaxed conversation, even if it was a little stilted at times.
In all honesty, Hank should have seen that coming. He worked out enough of what happened to know that Gavin and Katie's relationship wasn't the only one to undergo a seismic shift. Whatever had gone down, it seemed that Connor and Gavin were finally tolerant of one another. Friends would be a stretch and a half, but they had come a long way in just a year.
Now ready to bring in the New Year amongst good company, Hank parked up outside the Jericho apartments to see Markus and Josh waiting for them with pleasant smiles. Connor and Hank greeted them happily. "It's good to see both of you. You seem much better than the last time we saw you, Connor," Josh noted.
Hank scoffed. "That's a fucking understatement – at least hasn't had any near-death experiences since then, he's managed to stay out of trouble for that long." Connor rolled his eyes while Josh laughed and Markus chuckled. "Just the two of you out here?"
"North and Simon are currently engaging Kara and Luther in a game of cup pong. With calibration inhibitors on, the game is highly entertaining," Markus explained with a smile. "And some of the forfeits in each cup have brought great hilarity."
Connor's eyes gleamed at the thought. "Oh fuck, that's got someone's interest going," Hank laughed. "Dare I ask?"
"For once, North is the one who's embarrassed."
"Now this I've got to see!"
Hank was not disappointed by what he found. As part of one of the forfeits, North had been forced to don mouse ears, a tail and had her voice box hacked so that she could only squeak. Her anger only made her voice go even higher, much to everyone's hilarity. That combined with the fact that she'd had to detach an arm made her an even sorrier sight. Not that many of the others were much better. Simon's hair had all been stuck with paint and he was covered in various colours, while Kara's skin had been 'chameleoned', so she was currently the same shade of blue as the ping pong ball. Thus far, Luther had only managed to end up wearing only a bin liner, somehow.
Hank seriously wondered who came up with all the forfeits.
"Ah, there you two are!" Simon called when noticing Hank and Connor had arrived. "We were wondering if you had changed your mind about coming!"
"Of course not, wouldn't miss a chance to see this bitch get owned," Hank winked while taunting North with her detached arm, grabbing her ponytail and pulling it. Her squeaks of indignation were music to his ears.
Alice ran from where she'd been sitting on one of the window sills and tackle-hugged Connor. He gave a warm smile at the welcome and wrapped an arm around her as Alice kept a hold of his waist. "We just dropped by to see Katie and Gavin on the way here," Connor explained. "At least the apartments are still standing despite all the noise."
"The night is young yet, it would not be a New Year's party without some mishap," Carl stated sagely, earning a few laughs and an exasperated look from Markus. "Come now, Markus, are you telling me that these androids are the only ones who are mischievous? Your actions will have no doubt inspired others."
"Shall we just accept that they're beyond saving, Carl?" Hank joked, earning a laugh out of the elder human.
"Ah, we may be the inferior machines, but I think we can give these boys a good match," Carl declared. "I know you're going to have more than one set of those cups, Markus. Set up another round."
A second game of cup pong soon followed, with the father and son duos taking each other on. Their first game was purely for fun, and much to everyone's amusement, the inhibitors meant that Hank and Carl actually made more shots that Connor and Markus. Hank and Connor squeaked a win, but by that point, the other game had finished.
North wasn't the only one who'd lost their voice now, and everyone couldn't help but roar in laughter at hearing Luther baa-ing like a sheep. He'd also ended up with one eye switched off. Kara had now also lost an arm, while Simon was wearing 'someone's' underwear on his head. Nobody dared ask too many questions as to who the lacy black thong actually belonged to. North's misery had only deepened now that her one remained hand now had a cup taped around it.
Since they were playing best 2 out of 3 and it had gone one round each, everyone was stuck with their current forfeits until they found a winner. Their attention had fallen elsewhere, however.
They instead chose to stall their decider to witness the 'real' match at the other table. Determined to make up for their miserable failings before, Connor and Markus teamed against their adoptive fathers. The two android were horrified at how quickly they were losing when Carl got a streak, only winking that age had its merits. Markus soon ended up having his coat taped over his head so he couldn't see, and Connor lost both his legs below the knee along with having his right hand taped inside a cup. That made their life even harder.
Connor's mismatched height (and the fact he couldn't see the table any more), meant he and Markus were doomed to lose. He couldn't truly guide Markus' shots when the android leader couldn't see, and his own efforts were miles too far without the help of his calculation software. Carl and Hank put them out of their misery soon enough.
On the second last round, Hank nailed the cup closest to Connor. The android groaned as he heard the ball clatter in and Alice retrieved it, reading out the forfeit.
"Box of horrors?" she wondered out loud, to which Hank looked right over at North. She was grinning widely, confirming all he needed to know. Adam walked over and fetched the box, handing it over to Josh, who placed it right in front of Connor. The android looked at it in trepidation, hating that he couldn't scan the contents. He was having flashbacks to Christmas.
"Well, don't just stare at it all day," Hank chided. "Let's see what's in there!"
North squeaked excitedly from the side of the room as Connor winced, slipping loose the catch on the front of the square box. Everyone who could see jumped at the Jack-in-the-box which sprang out, laughing at Connor in a mechanical tone.
Connor sighed in relief at the jumpscare, knowing that could have been a lot worse. When he heard a hissing sound, however, he wondered if he'd spoke too soon.
The whole room jolted as the puppet exploded, the small detonation doing nothing more than causing a brief fire right in Connor's face. What it did do, however, was leave him covered in soot while his hair was singed and sticking up in crazy directions.
Just as he was about to comment on the trap, Connor found his face getting pelted by shaving cream from the remains of the box, just adding to his mess.
It was completely silent for a few seconds before Alice started snickering, which set everyone else off. As the rest of the room's occupants howled in laughter (apart from Markus, who still couldn't see anything with his coat taped over his head), Hank's eyes gleamed at seeing the real trap which Connor had missed due to both of the distractions. A few others picked up on it, but didn't say anything about the large metal disc now stuck to his back, courtesy of Simon sneaking up behind him and attaching it.
"Why do I find myself wondering how coincidental it was that I ended up getting that box?" Connor wondered aloud.
Hank smirked in response. "That's cause it wasn't an accident Connor."
They all heard the magnet which was attached to the roof power up, but Connor could do nothing more than yelp as Simon picked him up and threw Connor right towards the magnetic plate. He stuck to the target with a satisfying 'thump', and Connor looked around in confusion at suddenly finding himself stuck to the ceiling without any limbs below the knee, and only one usable hand.
"I think you're giving 'hanging out' a new definition Connor," Kara sniggered, causing a few of the others to laugh in concert. Connor simply groaned and sighed in resignation – he had the feeling he would be there for a while.
"Shall we agree that Connor and Markus forfeit since, well, Connor's out of commission and Markus cannot see?" Carl suggested.
"Sounds like a good fuckin' call to me," Hank agreed. He grinned evilly as Connor stated down at him, unimpressed. "Hey, it's only a minute to midnight. Great way to start 2040, eh, Connor?"
"Was this really necessary, Hank?" Connor asked through a sigh.
"Damn straight it was." Rather than say why out loud, Hank sent Connor a message via his phone.
Connor's eyes widened as the text flashed on his HUD, and he suddenly understood.
THAT'S for lying to me about the Amanda AI. No hiding the important shit from now on, deal?
Hank could feel his phone buzz instantly in response.
I'm sorry, Hank. I just didn't want you to worry.
Yeah, well, not gonna lie, I'm pissed that you did it. If there's something up with you, you tell me, all right? That's part of being a father.
Okay, I promise. I'm sorry.
I know you are. Oh, and good luck convincing someone to let you free this time. I sure as hell ain't doing it.
You're kidding me, right?
"Hey, we're nearly there!" Kara cheered. "10!"
Everyone counted down the seconds (or in North and Luther's case, squeaked or bleated) until midnight struck, and they all celebrated the New Year. Alice ran to Kara and Luther, hugging them both tightly. Simon helped to untangle Markus, who soon found himself with his two lovers in his arms, while Carl, Adam and Josh shared a private toast with thirium and a small champagne for Carl. Hank grabbed the beer that he'd set down earlier and toasted up to Connor, who shook his head in response.
"And no, I ain't kidding, Connor," Hank told him. "Good luck getting down from there on your own, I think you're gonna need it." His smile turned warm as he raised his beer again. "Ready to make 2040 even better than last year?"
"That is going to be an effort," Connor noted, but he too was smiling. It was a challenge they were both up for. "Any grand plans?"
"Oh yeah, I've got a few. You?"
"Of course, I am nothing if not meticulous." The pair of them laughed and shared a small smile. They were both looking forward to what lay ahead.
Although, Connor did not think his year would start with him spending 17 hours, 43 minutes and 4 seconds stuck to the roof. That was not part of the plan.