HI SO I JUST FINISHED UNI AND HERE YOU GO NEW EPISODE.

So this episode is pretty meh. The next four are actually good episodes, with the exception of maybe Trusty Rusty, but that one's more boring than awful. Not much happening in this one, primarily because I am trying to make sure that the action in the last four episodes is the best, but some stuff does get advanced. And we'll also get an answer as to how Zero learned about his son. Have to say, the in-universe justification for the Series One stock footage in this episode is one I really like. I wonder if that was placed there as a little call-back to the very first series. Maybe not, but it was nice to see it one last time. Hope you enjoy!

And now, reviews!

AaronCottrell97: Yep. Very fun stuff with them, wish they did more with Lady Hatt in the CGI series now that I think about it.

Reality Rejection Service: Rusty and Duncan getting along is weird, and will be rectified in about two chapters. That's something that hopefully comes across more in this chapter, but Benn is not MAGICALLY returning from the dead. The fact is that he's a time traveller and as such, he's not experiencing time linearly.

Game-Watch: Agreed. It's especially egregious when they start popping up in the New Series as a whole, but there is definitely that sense here. It's very HIT, even with Season 6 you had cameos and sets from the previous five.

MattPrice01: Exposition is very important, especially as we exit the classic era. Having finished up most of the thread tying that the Zero story was intended to be, I am trying to pace myself a little, More than likely, Ep 23 is going to be about tracking down John, Ep 24 is going to be a bit about John himself and Ep 25 is going to be Zero's reveal of his plan. Ep 26 is going to be where the stories all finally converge in the present.

Streakofscarlet: Actually, the Jack Frost equivalent this season was either Harold and the Flying Horse or Rheneas and the Roller Coaster. Neither of them apparently left enough of an impact on me to go "Ah, that one.". Weird. Rheneas having a shitton of personalities is REALLY helpful, especially considering that the episodes seem to fluctuate on how to portray him. He's a young up and comer, no he's an old engine who knows what's what, no now he's a speed freak, no now he's angry about being a twin, it's very confusing.

Radical Sandwiches: Ha! Don't know if I would go that far, but the last episode is going to be a really emotional one, so watch out for that! I mean, when is Duncan not drunk? XD. But I take your point!

UGX7: Ta. Hopefully I can get them out faster.

Hughie99: The big red balloon vs Thanos. Who would- We all know who would win! Murdoch doesn't get much to do in this episode, but hopefully I kept up the same thing as in those episodes.

jsw: Hopefully you'll see what actually happened at some point.

GreatWestern1522: You'll see next time!

CUE THE THEME

Autumn had snuck up upon the Island of Sodor quite fast, and as Duck the Great Western Engine was dragged off to the jail, with no one quite sure on how to handle things, the other engines decided to do something stupid to distract themselves from all of the stuff.

Luckily, one of those ridiculous holidays had come around, and thus, this episode happened.

So in a way, it was all Duck's fault. Typical.

AHEM.

…..

Over the magical world of stock footage, we shall remark upon the fact that the entire Island was celebrating. Yes, at last, someone had managed to convince Old Bailey to have a wash. Trevor was so excited by this news that he accidentally went back in time to 1995 as the special attraction for the fete.

But the actual event in question was the Best Dressed Station compete-Oh I've just been handed a note saying that I am prohibited from referring back to old episodes as kids don't remember that shit.

…..After seven season? …Oh, I can't be arsed to care.

Okay, it's 'Mayday'. Despite it being October. Wrap your head around that.

The engines knew there would be music and lots of fun, but not exclusively at the same time. And they also knew that if they were lucky, someone might bring in some strippers, and the drivers and firemen would get so distracted that they'd leave the engines to have a day off.

This was the best news they had received in a long time.

Knapford was being decorated…badly. Already the staple gun had claimed three victims to it's merciless idiocy. The Fat Controller had, in the midst of a drunken breakdown, said the engines could dress up too.

"I'm going to have flags and streamers!" Percy said. Oh wait, hang on. No, that's just Bill in prosthetics. The real Percy had refused to do any work and had broken down into blubbering tears when anyone tried to move him, thanks to Duck. THANKS DUCK. "Because I am an unoriginal arse!"

"I'm going to have a big….red…."

"WOAH!" shouted the other engines.

"Banner….BANNER YOU FREAKS, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!" snapped Thomas.

"I shall go as my idol!" James declared, in a prideful fashion.

"But I don't think Liberace is quite in keeping in the theme of the show." Thomas crowed. James glared at him.

"No, me and Henry are going as a tag-team! He shall be Elton John and I shall be Tim Rice!"

"….What does Tim Rice look like?" Edward muttered to no one in particular, as he tried to solve the riddle of what in the hell had happened with Duck.

"Like someone coasting off his more famous writing partner's success!" Now it was Henry's turn to crow.

"What decorations will you have, Gordon?" Murdoch asked. He was just there for the hell of it, he was bored. And we've got to shill the toys, haven't we? Speaking of which, GO TO TOYS R US AND FISHER PRICE TO GET EM! Toys R Us will NEVER CLOSE DOWN! NEVER. You can quote me on that. Angelis: 2003: 7:22.

"HE'S GOING AS A GIANT BLUE ASSHOLE!" James shrieked, attempting to shift the responsibility of being an object of ridicule onto Gordon.

"Solid 4 out of 10 there James. And decorations are not DIGNIFIED!"

"And those eyebrows are?" murmured Thomas. Emily bumped into him, though she could not hide her own smirk.

Gordon was feeling called out and insulted, so he left to go and sulk somewhere in the Sidings.

This wouldn't have happened if Duck was still around.

Actually, now that I say that, yes it would have. It would have totally done that.

…..

"Silly little engines!" He shouted two hours later.

"I'm almost as big as you!" Henry shouted back as he passed by. Gordon ignored the loud crash behind him, it was the green engine's own fault for wearing those ridiculous glasses out on a sunny day.

Thomas was having much more fun, as he was bringing the 'maypole' or, as Carlin had suggested 'that thing that the strippers are going to be f**king waving their goods about'. As he rushed by, he suddenly felt a blast of nostalgia.

It was 1984, and he was young again. The nostalgia pangs had started up, in no small part to the copious stock footage being used.

As kids waved, he whistled back "Peep Peep!" he shouted, for old time's sake. His good mood lasted even as he returned to get dressed up. 'Percy' was looking…well, like an idiot with his bunting and streaming.

Thomas looked far better, if you asked him. "Oh if only someone can unwrap me!" He paused. "Wait, is Emily here? I need to work on my flirtation!"

"Nae happening!" chortled Emily as she rushed on by.

Even Murdoch was being decorated. "I look like a right Muppet" he remarked, as the football savvy workers shoved on the colours of the Sodor United Football team (Currently in the midst of their greatest achievement yet, coming in ninety eighth place in the Sodor Premier League).

"WE COULD HAVE A COMPETITION FOR THE BEST DRESSED ENGINE!" shouted James, who's inside voice was equivalent to that of a tsunami in volume.

"We could, but there'd be no point. Because I'd win." Despite the numerous amounts of bandages, and the pain he was currently in, Henry looked smug.

"Oh dear god, I've stumbled into a bloody madhouse, haven't I?" Gordon muttered as he entered the yard. "Sides which, I rock every and all competition!"

"It's true, he does." Thomas snickered.

…..

A WEEK AGO.

"Gordon, we've having a competition! We're trying to see which one of us can snort the most….er….china clay up off this here table."

"HA! I'LL SMASH YOU TINY ENGINES!"

"Hehehehehe."

…..

"So that's why Crosby's been destroyed AGAIN." James shook his head. "Anyway, you'll have to be decorated to get in to the competition! It's a Best Dressed Engine Competition!"

"GET THE WRITERS TO MAKE THAT THE TITLE!" shouted Britt.

"HA! In which case, sod off! You'll never catch me looking so ridiculous! ….Unless it is for her Majesty, in which case I'll dress up like Judy Garland THAT ONE TIME!"

"I was about to bring that up, funnily enough." Thomas muttered to no one in particular.

…..

The engines felt splendid for about two minutes, and then felt like utter nanas. Gordon, meanwhile, could take no pleasure in their pain as he was having a right strop. "DECORATIONS AREN'T DIGNIFIED! WHO CARES IF THERE'S A COMPETITION!? Not ME!"

"YA BOO SNUBS!"

"And you can piss off, Bulgy!"

"DUCK SAID THAT, AND LOOK WHERE HE IS NOW."

Gordon had no time to ponder this mysterious comment that the double decker had just made. He was approaching the three tier bridge.

There was a single banner strewn across a bridge. On one tier only. And on only the one side. People hadn't really been arsed, and the community service kids had done the absolute bear minimum before pissing back off.

The mysterious slide whistler struck again as the wind whipped it up into Gordon's face. The big blue engine let out a muffled wail and realized that he couldn't see the line ahead.

For whatever reason, the driver and firemen were distracted and so didn't stop the train to remove said banner, for some reason. Instead, they merely smiled and waved to whoever passed them in an idiotic manner.

"I CAN'T SEE! STOP!"

"Can't. This is the express!"

"THIS WILL BE A WHOLE LOT OF DEAD PEOPLE IF WE DON'T STOP!"

DID SOMEONE SAY DEATH? asked Ivor the Engine, out of nowhere.

"NO ONE DID!"

OH.

And Ivor left.

Gordon had little time to ponder what the hell just happened. Trevor was chugging along with a cartload of apples for the apple bob, aka that thing that was a waste of perfectly good apples. Gordon whistled, but Trevor was going as fast as he could which was not fast enough, as you can imagine.

There was a lot of squashed apples that day, I can tell you that now.

….

James was the last to arrive at the station, ready for the competition. "I have this in the bag!" He declared.

"Here comes Gordon!"

"Bloody Nora!" Edward said, trying and failing to repress a snigger.

"Ohhhhhhhhh shite!" Emily said, repressing nothing and bursting out into laughter. Gordon stormed in, the banner slowly deflating and coughing up apple cores wherever he went.

"I didn't think you wanted to be decorated" Thomas remarked, innocently.

"I DIDN'T, KNOCK-OFF ARTHUR!" hissed Gordon.

"Well you're definitely the best dressed engine!" said someone who was clearly trying to imitate James, as the red engine had no intention of saying anything of the sort. Gordon was secretly pleased, though he felt that this wasn't a dignified thing to admit.

Silly Gordon. Dignity is in short supply on this Island.

"MY APPLES!" roared the farmer.

"And that is my cue to leave!" said Gordon, thundering off.

….

At Barrow, an engine began to make his way across the Vicarstown Bridge, for the first time.

Someone bright. Someone fast. Someone in shining silver.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES!"

And someone who made Gordon look like Humble-McHumbleson by comparison.

…..

"God damn it, what the hell is the problem with these people?!"

"Edward, calm dow-"

"Oh, WHAT, Toby? Calm down!? We can't all go off chasing bloody butterflies!" Edward paused. "Sorry. Sorry that was….probably not called for. But still, we have been waiting here for nigh on five hours to have a five minute conversation."

"I know. I also know how to count." Now it was Toby's turn to pause. "That came out a lot more sarcastic than I had imagined. Sorry."

At that moment, Fergus arrived, looking grimly at the two of them. "Before you start-" He began.

"Fergus, what the hell is going on!?"

"This Is clearly some sort of trap. This isn't the first time this has happened on the Island!"

Fergus glared at Edward. "Yes. I know. And as disturbing as that is even for a bloody copper like me….that's not the issue. The issue is that most of the deaths on the Island have justifiably been proved to be work-related accidents, or as a result of the Other Railway, or self-defence. Unfortunately, this is technically peacetime, this was not an accident and the fact that there is no sign of any attack on Duck means that he can't claim it was self-defence!"

"Come on, you know he wouldn't do this!" Toby started.

"Of course I THINK that. Thing is, this Island does things to you. The constant noise and bustle and all the bickering and arguing and confusion and delay does things to an engine! Duck's been laser-focused on stopping this transfer, on trying to get on top of things, and with Oliver being the way that he is….well, you can imagine."

"What does he say?"

"Some story about going there with a gun, for his own protection. D1 came up to him, started mocking, and then the gun fired on him of it's own volition!" Fergus looked despairingly at the two of them. "It's a bloody awful story!"

"Then doesn't that mean it's more likely that it's true?" Toby clicked his teeth. "….It's an Iron Circle gun that he's got, right? Those two….Jinty and the arsehole she was with, they dropped off weapons for him on the orders of Truro, …And Truro is the one responsible for Diesel going AWOL in the first place."

"So, what, you're saying that somehow they…hacked his gun?"

"That's bloody ridiculous!" Fergus hit himself in the head with his own truncheon. "And- Ow! Sodding hell. And that means it's probably the truth. But I can't do that with all of the people buzzing around here!"

There was a long silence.

"I propose-" said Toby, at last "-that we at the very least try and get Oliver somewhere safe."

Fergus nodded. "Now that's a ruddy good idea for a tram."

"I….really want to smack you right now."

"There's a safehouse that me and Boxhill know about." Fergus growled softly. "We can hopefully get him out of here before Zero and his lot decide to do something." He sighed. "And Duck?"

No one had an answer for that.

No one, that is, who was meant to be there. Bulgy slipped away, feeling quite pleased that his informing on Duck had managed to pay off so significantly. As he crossed along the busy country road to his owner's house, he decided that things were looking pretty.

He pulled in, closed his eyes and settled down to rest.

Seconds later, he opened them again at a sudden sound.

"Hello matey" said Terrance. "We should probably get to know each other a little better."

Terrance was frowning.

Bulgy suddenly felt very, very worried indeed.

….

THE PAST.

Mr Benn and Captain Zero sized each other up for a good two minutes. Benn looked immaculate, like he had just stepped out of the tailor's with a fresh new suit. Zero looked relatively decent as well, though the various deaths he had suffered since becoming the Mysteron's servant had taken effect.

"I repeat-" said Mr Benn, frostily "-what-?"

"I wanted to talk, first."

"You summoned me throughout time for that." It was a statement, not a question.

"No. I merely wanted to offer you a deal. A very important deal, at that. It concerns…well, the future. Yours in particular. And I know you're a time traveller of some renown."

"….Hmm." Mr Benn sat down on an old stump, and nodded. "I have time. More than most, anyway."

"…Thank you, by the by, for scaring the shite out of my associate the other day. No bloody harm to you, was there?"

"The stuff he is gathering does not need to be inflicted upon this world, nor any other. Those are abominations that your boss and that…Malevolence was creating, and supposing you use them, you will lose control."

"Probably. …So, where in the timeline are you?"

Benn thought. "I've just got a call from Hargreaves. Got to go meet some fellow from, funnily enough, this Island." He shrugged. "Something to do with, again funnily enough, your old boss."

"Oh, that? Hmm. Well, let me just give you a piece of advice." Zero leaned forward. "Don't go back."

"Oh?"

"Trust me, if you do? Not a good ending for you. Whereas if you give me a few more pointers about the future, if you stick around and help me bring about this, ah, what are the words I'm looking for….paradigm shift, of sorts, we can do great things together. Real changing the world stuff."

"…For your own sake."

"Yes. Absolutely. Thing is, this is happening. I don't care what you think, with or without us, the future that my allies are talking about is going to come to fruition. We might as well get on the winning side." Zero looked around him. "The fact that I'm going to get very, very rich off the back of it is certainly a bonus."

Mr Benn stood up. "Oh, is that what this is? A recruiting tool?" He smiled. It was not a happy one. "No, don't think so. Well then, I'll be leaving. You've certainly given me a lot to think about."

Zero scoffed. "You will die. Alone, in this grotto, nearly fifty years ago. Most of your body will be shattered, you'll be bleeding out and you won't even know if you succeeded or not!"

Benn smirked. "Benefit of knowledge about the future, as you yourself have found out. It makes it very easy to plan for upcoming events. Besides which, death isn't so bad, really. I am quite tired, and would be glad of a rest."

A man suddenly hurried forward. "Ready to go, sir?"

"Yes, I suppose."

Benn and the Shopkeeper walked towards the rocks. Suddenly, Benn stopped, and turned around.

"Captain? Tell your allies, your underlings, your son and even yourself, one simple fact."

He bowed his head. "This is not the last time we'll meet."

And then, as if by magic, both were gone.

Captain Zero sat there for a long time, thinking about the conversation he had just had. Then he checked his list, and drew a line through yet another of the checkpoints. It read, in it's entirety, as follows:

Meet with Mr Benn. Offer to join forces. He will refuse. Not important on face of it. But he is one of the antagonists. Good to learn in advance who you are playing this game against. Prepare.

But that wasn't what Zero was thinking of. He spoke this thought out loud, bewildered and very, very interested.

"I have a son?"