The next day around noon I laid on my belly in our bed, supporting myself with my elbows. Cartoons had just ended and now the news was on while a devoured bag of potato chips snuggled shamelessly up to my side. Only one body unaccounted for in Arkham Massacre. Where is Dr. Harleen Quinzel? Right here. Batman saves hostages from elaborate death-puzzle from the Riddler. Yawn. "What would Gotham ever do without The World's Greatest detective?" I asked dryly, drenched in sarcasm while rolling my eyes in annoyance. I rolled over on my back and licked my salty lips and fingertips clean. I bet Mistah J was hungry, from what I could tell he hadn't eaten breakfast. I hadn't either, hence my high-sodium snack.
My only clothing attire choice was my outfit from yesterday. I picked the shirt up and sniffed it. Gunpowder, sweat and a little perfume. Ew. I wandered into the narrow walk-in closet and grabbed a random shirt of J's. It was huge on me and dropped to about my mid-thigh. This would work, but not forever. Cracking open the door I cautiously looked to the left, then the right. It didn't seem like anyone was out here. I'm not sure who I was expecting to see.
I hummed on my way downstairs and into the kitchen. The house wasn't big, three bedrooms and an office, maybe, which is where he was right now. It took me a minute to find it due to multiple wrong turns. One thing all of the rooms had in common was they were only furnished with items necessary to be kept comfortable, but only temporarily. When I finally found it I noticed the room was a light shade of brown. Digging through the fridge I pursed my lips. Throwing meals together out of random items was a specialty of mine. With what was available I could make… hot ham and cheese sandwiches.
The pan heated up and I mindlessly prepared the food to be cooked. My mind was stuck on last night. It was friggin perfect! When the Joker had sex, it was very animalistic. All of his movements were intense and only for his own pleasure. But I had no trouble getting off. Actually, come to think of it I think I got off before he did. Goosebumps broke out across my skin as I remembered watching his chest muscles flex and sweat as he pounded me into the mattress on loop. I could barely breathe it was so hot. I bit my lip while curling a strand of my hair and gripping the hem of J's shirt. I wanted to do it again and again. And like a million and 7 more times. Plus 10. Plus infinity. My legs clamped together tightly as I realized my new reality: I could fuck him whenever I wanted to! We even cuddled after! Well, I cuddled him and he didn't stop me. I had no complaints and slept without dream (or nightmare). I felt more rested than I had in way too long. What did I have to fear or stress about when I slept next to the Clown Prince of Crime?
"Hey, lady w-" A deep voice startled me out of my thoughts and without thinking I grabbed the hot pan from the stove, hurling it at one of the two men now present. "ARRGGH!" He yelled, grabbing his face.
"Bull's eye! 100 points!" I cheered, jumping and clapping. "Should I go for 200? I have another pan!"
The second raised his hands in surrender. "We ain't here to hurt ya, lady, we just came to grab a bite to eat. The help gotta eat too!" The men were dirty, but not distractingly so. The help? Oh, Joker's goons.
I chuckled as I realized my overreaction. "Whoops, sorry! Here!" I grabbed a small towel and filled it with ice. But as I saw the man's face, it would certainly take more than one. I did a pretty good job. I bent over to grab the pan from the floor. "Never, ever, sneak up on me. Got it?" I said seriously, pointing the pan at them both individually and raising my brows. They nodded. "Good, lemme make it up to ya and cook you lunch." I offered with a grin, heading back to the stove. Both men looked at me like a spoke another language. "Eesh, been a while since anyone's cooked?" I asked.
"Yeah, we just eat whatever we find cold." The shorter one (around 6 ft!) replied. I grimaced, sticking my tongue out in distaste.
"Well it's a good thing I'm here! Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha." I stuck out my hand to them both. The taller Burned Face Man stuck his hand out. On second thought the burn wasn't that bad, but the design left behind made him look cool and tough. He'd have to thank me for that. Now they knew better.
"Henry." He introduced.
"Mike." The other followed suit. We chatted idly while they waited for their food and the smell of toasting bread filled the kitchen. A few times the boy's stomachs growled pretty loudly. A few other times I caught them staring at my ass. I learned that Henry had known Mistah J back in Blackgate and when he busted out, J got him out too. He'd been a leading part of his crew ever since. Mikey had lost his family a year or so ago and found himself with the opportunity to serve under the Joker. And why wouldn't he take it? Apparently the pay was good. I set two steaming plates in front of them with two sandwiches each. Cheese slowly melted down the sides.
"Well nice talking to you boys, I'm gonna go eat with J." I said, collecting two grape sodas from the fridge. The two men looked at one another.
"Be careful," Mikey mumbled said through a cheesy bite. "He doesn't like to be disturbed while he works."
"I appreciate the warning." I said as I continued up the stairs, humming Queen as I made my way to the office. Balancing both his plate and mine as well as both sodas (talk about talent!), I opened the door and tapped on the wall alerting him to my presence. Leaning against the door frame I watched him hunch over a few papers, but much more of them were in crumpled balls near the trash can. Hearing my intrusion he looked up, an angry expression on his face.
"I thought I told you bozos to-" he boomed, pausing when he saw me and smiled big. "Well, good morning, Pooh." He cooed. His eyes ran over me from head to toe then only focused on the food.
"Good afternoon, Puddin'." I grinned in mild correction. Sashaying to his desk I turned his chair toward me and sat on his lap, pressing my starving lips to his. Licking his bottom lip I offered him the sandwiches. I put extra meat on his, with his frame it didn't look like he ate often. "Hungry?" I asked in a flirty deliberate double entendre. He took the plate and stacked his papers neatly into one pile, pushing me away with his free hand. With an oof I hit the floor. I got up, rubbing my sore butt gently. Now that a corner of space on the desk was free I perched myself on it and set my own plate in my lap, taking a massive bite. Yum, I'd been so hungry. "Whatcha working on?" I asked curiously. My legs swung back and forth off of the edge. I wiped my greasy fingers clean before touching one of his blueprints. It was a loose design for an acid-squirting flower.
"Oh, you know, the defeat of the bat through comedy and whatnot." He replied, taking his own bite. I waited eagerly to see if the food passed the test. He didn't comment further and stuffed another corner into his mouth. That was good enough for me.
"Can I go on the next score?" I asked. "Pretty please?" I added, batting my lashes. He scoffed.
"No. You'd be recognized immediately and ruin everything." He immediately dismissed. I pouted.
"What if I wore a disguise?" I pressed. He put down his sandwich to close his eyes and rub his temples in frustration. "Wouldn't I be so much more useful as a weapon?" I persuaded, knowing this would appeal to him. He opened his mouth to speak then closed it again. Suddenly his face brightened.
"As a matter of fact, that might just work." His tone was dark. I squealed and raised my soda to his in a toast.
The club was dimly lit, crowded and loud. Perfect for the type of meeting that would be happening. No one would pay any attention to the men behind the beaded curtain. I had tried to go in with them, but J stopped me. "Go have a drink. Enjoy yourself, I'll handle this. If you see the signal, get ready to shoot." He growled. He wore a dark red button down under a thick, expensive looking textured purple jacket. He also had plenty of thick gold chains and rings. God he was hot. And he was mine. How could I be so lucky? I sneakily wiped the side of my mouth to make sure I wasn't drooling. Nodding, I pulled him against me, kissing him deeply but briefly. A little something to remember me by.
"Muah! Don't worry, Mistah J, if he tries anything funny I'll blow his head off." I promised. With a sly giggle I grabbed his hand and ran it along the outside of my borrowed knee length, royal blue colored dress where under a thick garter I stashed a handgun. Next I guided his hand to my rib cage where under my bra band I had a knife and a small canister of Joker Toxin.
"What a good, good girl you are," He growled with an approving grin, squeezing my waist. I felt a huge sense of satisfaction at pleasing him. "Just wait for the signal." He repeated, pointing his index finger at my face in light warning. His finger ran down my nose and down my lips, resting at my chin. He gave me a nod and without another word left my side. I watched him go with a dreamy sigh. My fingers traced the place he had touched my lips. Geez, how could a girl not fall for someone like him? "I love you!" I called. He stopped, but didn't turn to face me. Then he shook his head and kept walking.
A short boy behind the bar caught my attention. A drink did sound refreshing. The music thumped unnecessarily loud. I could feel it in my chest, but somehow it added to the dark atmosphere instead of taking away from it. Completed it in a way. "What can I get for you?" He asked with a professional grin. His eyes, however, said 'I'd rather be doing literally anything else'. I laughed quietly to myself and twirled some of the dark wig hair around my finger.
"Hmm... Surprise me." I grinned. Everyone was still looking for Harleen. I don't know why, I sure wasn't looking for her. I donned a wavy black wig and dark red lips. As I waited, a very pretty redhead sat next to me. She nodded to the bartender.
"Scotch on the rocks, please." She requested with the smoothest of voices. Her dress was black and tight, and I couldn't help but notice her figure. I made a face at her selection.
"Rough day?" I guessed. When she turned to smirk at me I took the time to study her. Her skin was pale with a warm glow and she had brilliant emerald green eyes. Large, loose curls fell to her back and her full lips were brick red, while her eyes were dark and smokey, making the green and pink stand out. She was gorgeous.
"The worst." The stranger admitted with a sigh. "I was let go today."
I pouted in sympathy. "What happened?" The bartender slid me my drink. A margarita. "Thanks, sweetie!" I grinned then turned back to the redhead with the same sympathetic look. He slid her the scotch shortly after and I sipped at my drink. She took a moment to take a sip as well before answering. A perfect lady.
"I work, well, worked," Her face scrunched in anger. "at Wayne Enterprises. I'm a scientist who makes new medicines to be tested and I was working on a new pheromone Mr. Wayne wasn't too happy about." At this point she turned her torso to look at me full on. We had to speak louder than if we were at a cafe or something, we practically screamed to hear each other.
"What kind of pheromone?" I grinned in interest, though I didn't know jack about sciency stuff like pheromones. I glanced toward where Puddin' was having his meeting. No sign of trouble.
"A very... Potent one." She started. Red licked a drop of spilled liquor from her lips and I couldn't help but watch. She was utterly alluring. "One that would give me a certain... Influence over others." She said slowly, as if she wasn't sure how to put it. Absentmindedly her manicured finger circled around the rim of her glass.
"Like mind control? Cool!" I complimented. She genuinely smiled at me and I smiled back. "Who wouldn't want that?" I asked, picturing all the things I could do with something like that. I could make Batman sit in a wood chipper! Ah, what a lovely thought. I sighed in content.
"That's what I was thinking!" Her eyes grew wide as she put emphasis on her words. Already tipsy. Whatta lightweight. "He had the total opposite reaction. I still have my research, at least. It's just going to take me a lot longer to perfect without access to all of that state of the art technology. Sorry, I'm rambling." She shook her head in embarrassment and her hair followed.
"That doesn't surprise me." I rolled my eyes. "Bruce is so…" I struggled to find the right word. Not boring… Uptight didn't quite fit either, we had sex on a pool floaty in the middle of the afternoon for God's sake. "Straight edge." I decided.
"Oh, you know Bruce?" Red's perfect brows rose. "Small world."
"He gave me a tour once or twice. Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha!" I extended my hand in excitement. Somehow the new name felt natural as it rolled off my tongue. I liked that she rambled because I did too. Maybe we could be friends.
"Pamela Isley." She reciprocated my handshake with a firm grip. I had some more of my margarita and tried to finish it in one sip. A mini challenge for myself. So close! With another half sip the rest was gone and I felt the liquor hit my system. It made the music less annoying. I bobbed my head and moved my shoulders to the beat.
"Hey, Red, wanna dance?" I asked. Mistah J had specifically said to have a good time and he didn't have to tell me twice. With a tilt of her head and a finishing gulp of her scotch, she nodded.
"Okay." She grabbed my hand and pulled me behind her. The song that was on was sultry, yet very electronic. We watched each other as we danced. The way her body moved was so... attractive. She wasn't dancing to impress anyone or show off... She was just dancing. At points she even looked silly, which made me laugh and try to out do her. Gradually we moved closer, like magnets and I could now see the multihued emerald/jade of her eyes easily. We were touching now. Not in a vulgar sense but definitely a flirtatious one. Too bad J wasn't watching, I'd love to give him a show. Her hands ran over my hips and mine rested lightly on her shoulders. Her hand lowered to cover my gun and her brows lifted. I raised my finger to my lips. "Shhh..." I winked. Men started to whistle at us but we paid them no attention.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!" A man yelled while simultaneously coughing, running from behind the curtain. Time to go.
"Nice meeting you Pammy, gotta go! And my advice? Run…" I turned her to the left. "That way!" I yelled, pushing her and grabbing my mini can of toxin, tossing it deep to the right, into the herd of people. I ran through the crowd and lifted my dress to grab my gun. When it looked like I had a clear shot at the guy I fired. Missed. Damn! I tried again. Headshot. "50 points!" I yelled in victory. It would have been worth more if it had been cooler. Fifty seemed fair. The people had a different reaction. Everyone screamed and ran and bumped into me so hard my wig fell off. The rest started to hysterically laugh and cackle. The drug was starting to work and would soon spread. I paid almost no attention to the wig. Running behind the curtain I saw the room was now empty. Where the hell was J, and Mike? Mike was the head honcho of the goons. I shoved my way angrily outside. Everyone was running away, scattering like bugs in every direction. "RUN! He's been shot!" And "She's got a gun!" Could be heard amongst various other things. A loud screech of tires made my head turn sharply to the left.
His purple Lamborghini sped down the road, away from the club. No doubt the Gotham police would be here soon, and maybe even the bat. He left me! That pasty son of a bitch left me here! I was seeing red. What the hell was I supposed to do now? A man lifted his leg to get onto his motorcycle and I pushed him off of it with enough strength to knock him over. "Excuse me." I said politely as I climbed on. The dress and heels made it more difficult than it should have been so I kicked the heels off. Much better!
"What the fuck are you doing, bitch?!" He asked in outrage. I backed up the motorcycle and revved the engine, shooting forward running over his lumpy body as I went. A gurgled choking noise occurred.
"Asshole," I muttered, talking both about Mistah J and that guy. I sped off after the Lamborghini and weaved in and out of traffic causing quite a few honks and screeches of tires. Just obstacles. I could now clearly see the smile on the back of the vehicle. We were under the bridge and I got closer and closer until I could see him through the driver's window. But he turned, making eye contact then blocking his face as he sped away from me. I honked like a madwoman as my blonde locks flew behind me in a sort of tornado shape. Curling the handle as far back as it would go I passed him, getting in front of him. Making sure I was plenty in front of him my anger moved my body for me. I took a final look at his car, then very precisely moved my left foot, tilting the bike to the ground holding on to the other handle with both hands so I wouldn't fall. Sparks flew as the metal scraped against the road and I nearly lurched forward and onto the pavement.
When I came to a stop I walked toward his car, stopping and facing him head on. He would either stop or kill me. For a second I was certain it would be the latter. Somehow I wasn't afraid. At the last second I heard the loud screech of the tires. Purple tire smoke filled the air, a feature he was particularly proud of. I had to admit, it added ambiance. I stomped to the hood of the car and slammed my fists down. "Get out of the car you alabaster prick!" I roared. The Joker hit his head against the glass of the window in frustration but didn't get out. Mike got out of the car and started to walk over to me.
"Harley, calm down, everything's okay. You made it out-" I put a bullet through his head and pointed the gun at the Joker. Fifty points.
"I said get out of the car." I growled. He obliged and walked up to me slowly, not in fear just taking his time. "You're not leaving me!" My eyes were watering as the weight of his actions hit me.
"You," He chuckled, shaking his head. "are a real pain in the ass." he stopped a foot in front of me.
"Everything you have ever said. Every test, every initiation I have proved I love you just accept it!" I said in frustration as he approached me with an annoyed, disbelieved squinty expression. His reaction in the club confirmed that was the problem.
"Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it." He interrupted with a disgusted grimace. "I am not someone who is 'loved'." His fingers quoted. "I am an idea." He clapped in my face. An eighteen-wheeler pulled up behind us, honking. "A state of mind." He continued. His grill and rings glinted in the lights from the street lamps. He held my gaze and I swear I felt my heart breaking. "I execute my will according to my plan and you, doctor, are not a part of my plan." He circled me. The driver continued honking, and I gently grabbed his face making him look at me.
"Just let me in," He turned out of my grip which pushed a certain part of me into survival mode. He had changed me. Made me different. I felt like I couldn't live without him. I didn't want to. "I promise- Just let me in, I promise I won't hurt you!" I begged. There blared that maddening horn again. He fixed his green locks and faced me with an amused grin.
"A promise? Promise?" He laughed.
"Hey Dickwad!" A stout, angry trucker yelled as he stormed up to us, shotgun in hand. "Mind screaming at your bitch somewhere else?" I grabbed the gun out of J's coat pocket and pointed it at the man's face, squeezing the trigger firmly. With the loud, reverberating boom of the bullet a couple tears fell from my eyes. Not from killing someone, but from J's words.
"I was gonna say I wouldn't do that if I were youuu," He turned back to me as I watched the man's carcass hit the ground. I kept my arm extended and pushed the gun to his head now. I felt dangerous, not to be fucked with. "Don't do it. I'll be your friend!" He mocked with a bigger grin than before, raising his hands in faux surrender. "Ooh, you wanna kill me?" His eyes lit up. "Do it. Do it do it do. it!" His words came quickly and his fingers curled towards himself as he said it. "End me Harley, all it would take is a little pull of your finger." His eyes closed pleasantly and he grinned. "I'm waiting."
My finger stilled. "A heart scares you but a gun doesn't?" I asked, doing my best to keep the floodgates closed.
He growled harshly in response, making full eye contact with me. "DO IT!" He demanded, panting. I didn't move. Quickly he snatched the gun from my hands. "Or if you don't have the guts..." He laughed, holding it to his temple. My eyes widened in panic.
"Don't." I protested strongly.
"But why ever not, dear?" He asked, pulling the hammer back. He put it back down and looked at me with disbelief. "God, if you weren't so crazy, I'd think you were insane." He exclaimed. "Go. Away." Another test. It had to be.
"No." I said eerily calm. "I. Love. You." I said, trying to get the words through his head. "I'll do anything for you. Anything." I said honestly. "Don't run from me. I'll find you, I promise." My words rang with truth. "Put me to good use, Puddin'." I pulled his face back to mine, kissing him with every ounce of love and determination I had.
Instead of an answer I got backhanded, falling hard against the concrete. I scraped my knee, but didn't pay it any attention. My hand cradled my cheek and looked up at him in confusion and hurt. Not the physical kind.
"Puddin', I-" I started.
"See what your actions cause?" He waltzed over and bent to pick up Mike's extra gun and tucked it in the waistband of his pants while he again smoothed his slightly disheveled green locks. Walking over to me he held out his hand. I took his hand and sniffled as I nodded mutely. "And then you shot Mike." He reminded me. My face dropped. My dress had ripped and he took his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. He chuckled, I'm not sure what at, but I reached up on my tiptoes, still barefoot and kissed him softly. I didn't know what else to do.
"I'm really, really sorry Mistah J. At least we got the job done, right?" I tried.
"Right, kiddo." He laughed. Opening my door he waited until I stepped over Mike's fresh body and sat down then shut it behind me. "Don't get any blood in the car." He got in and tied a blindfold over my eyes. "You like surprises, don't you?" He asked with a curious glint in his tone. A surprise?
"I sure do!" I grinned in excitement as the car silently purred to life. The drive was sort of long, but I didn't ask any questions. I was just happy to be in his good graces again. Eventually the engine silenced and again he opened the door for me. Grabbing my hand he helped me out and lead me around.
"You'll get a kick out of this. I know I will." He said with amusement and a touch of darkness. I heard a heavy metal door open and we climbed a lot (A loooooot) of stairs. The floor felt gross on my feet and a strong scent burned my nose and gave me a headache. We had traveled at least three stories and I took a moment to catch my breath. I felt a weird sort of high from the fumes that was starting to overwhelm my senses and fatigue me. It was so warm I didn't need his jacket anymore, but I kept it on anyway. His fingers deftly untied the fabric from my eyes and I knew where we were immediately.
"Ace Chemical." I said quietly to myself. We were on a platform above the vats of bright, bubbling poison, somewhere a manager might visit to check on things. There were several of the large vats holding an alarmingly green-hued liquid that had steam coming off of it.
"I was born here," he stated in a distracted tone, walking to the edge and taking a deep inhale. "Smells wonderful, don't you think?" He asked. I couldn't agree. The scent was far too strong.
"Batman just left you in there?" I asked incredulously. The word around town was that Batman didn't kill anyone. However, not preventing a death is not the same thing as killing someone. He didn't answer the question and turned to me, eyes alight with small hues of jade from the chemicals.
"Question," he said, stepping the slightest bit closer to me. "Would you die for me?" He asked. The color of his eyes right now was almost hypnotizing. What a dumb question.
"Yes." I answered simply. Life as Harleen... From what I remember wasn't too great. It just wasn't satisfying. Life with him was an adventure.
"That's too easy." He decided. "Would you..." He paused as he thought about how to phrase it. "Would you live for me?"
Isn't that kind of what was happening right now? "Yes." I said again, with a bit more conviction.
That warning finger again, right in front of my nose. "Careful." He said slowly. "Do not say this oath thoughtlessly."
"I'd never." I said seriously.
"Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power." His finger dragged down my lower lip. "Do you want this?" He murmured, resting his fingers under my chin, holding it up.
"I do." I felt like we were getting married and exchanging our vows. Maybe this was exactly that for us. Did that make me the Clown Princess of Crime now?
"Say it. Say it." His voice dropped to a low whisper. "Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty-"
"Please." It came out needy, and completely mesmerized. That's exactly how I felt right then. I wanted him. All of him. His mind, his body, his soul. I wanted to forever be his harlequin.
A beautiful smile brightened his face. "God, you're so... Good." He complimented for the second time tonight. I swelled inside. I craved his approval. Starved for it. I walked up to the edge and leaned over so far my adrenaline began to flow. I dropped the jacket from my shoulders and it hit the floor with a mute puff. I could never be enough for him the way I was now, I knew that. He knew it. I had to be like him. What I had to do was obvious. I turned to face him and he watched me with absolute interest. The true last test.
He opened his arms to me, as if to hug me. My arms raised as well, but I stepped backward instead, feeling the floor drop out from under me as I fell. My breath hitched in my throat, I wasn't the biggest fan of heights. The last thing I saw before I went under was him looking over the edge at me. I smiled. Until I hit the chemicals.
The first thing I felt was the heat. It burned my skin and I gasped from the pain only to end up releasing some of my oxygen, scorching my mouth and taste buds. I coughed, rejecting the taste thrashing my arms and legs wildly. My whole body was on fire and I flailed for my life trying to get above, to air. But I couldn't swim. I could've been heading toward the right for all I knew. All of the struggling was only wearing me out. Then there was the chemical sting and burn. My scalp felt scorched as did every spare inch of my skin. And I felt it all. I noticed it on the back of my neck, my armpits, in between my toes and fingers, my face, my limbs. Nowhere was safe, I was submerged. The hot liquid filled my ears and nose and I sort of just stopped fighting after a minute. I was going to die. I knew it. So I had kept my word. I was dying for him. In a last ditch effort I raised my arm, hoping to feel the liquid break around me. I'm not sure how long I was under. It felt like a lifetime. I found nothing and my eyes opened. Before I shut them from the extreme burn I saw a flurry of bubbles and a human-shaped form reaching toward me. An angel! Flashing images ran rapidly behind my lids. My first gymnastics meet. My first date. Graduation day. My first patient, Tommy Huges. My childhood dog Digby. Then I passed out.
I felt pressure on my lips and it brought me out of the darkness like flipping a switch. I looked at the Angel that had saved me. Of course it was him. I noticed swirls of red and blue around us and that our clothes were slowly disintegrating and losing color. The Joker laughed triumphantly and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard in my entire life. His shirt hung in tatters over his shoulders. I reached for him, no longer noticing the harsh scent, holding his face to mine and kissing him. He laughed against my lips, which made me start laughing too. I was alive! He had literally saved my life. I felt so doped up on endorphins I could sing.
"Look at you," he muttered in appreciation.
"I feel like a pile of ash." I complained. Nothing felt the same. I don't just mean outwardly. Inside me nothing was the same, yet everything was the same. My outlook was different. I'd been electrocuted, almost hit by a car, chemically burned, basically drowned… and I was smiling. I already didn't fear death much, but now I felt invincible.
"Let's go home, dear." He said fondly, helping me out of the vat. I saw the white skin of my leg and it dumbly shocked me. We were two sides of the same coin now. I held his hand all the way to the car. I felt so special. No one else in the entire world was like my Mistah J except for me. A true pair.
A/N: Happy holidays! Obviously big chunks of this chapter are from the movie, pls don't sue me, I'm too broke to pay you.