Thomas to the Rescue is perhaps one of the best episodes of the season, in my opinion. Primarily due to the fact that it feels like proper old school stuff. Thomas doesn't really do anything terrible that proves Diesel's point, it's just the latter being an asshole. And in the end, he wins through and helps them out when modern tech fails.A few more drafts and this could have been really special. As it is, though, it's good. I think. Depends on your mood when you're watching it, I guess.

I think it should be noted that this chapter is going to be fairly short, though longer compared to the first two. That's because the next seven chapters, story-wise, will be focusing on one characters specifically, which hopefully should take up a longer amount of the chapter. This one is more a set up, and I had assumed it would be longer than it actually was. Sorry!

Now, reviews!

AaronCottrell97: This is going to be one of the rare times that Percy gets to go off on one. And Thomas and Arthur are going to be having a lot of fun reactions with each other.

Game-Watch: That's what makes him think, every night.

MattPrice01: Misery is the name of the game!

Radical Sandwiches: Glad you enjoyed that! And yeah, you've still got a bit of time with Carlin and Percy for the rest of the season!

UGX7: It definitely feels like something that Awdry would have made, if a few more drafts were written and added. I agree with you there.

jsw: Pretty much! That gets addressed a little bit here!

Garchomp65: I re-edited that back in. So I hope that's okay for you.

Reality Rejection Service: ESPECIALLY if your name is Thomas.

Aussie Mantis: I'm glad that you are enjoying. Funny thing is that when I actually write these, they seem way longer. It's not until that I actually see them in the editing process that I'm like "Huh. These are actually way shorter than I remember." It's weird. I've tried to add as much in as I can, so I hope this is adequate!

THE PRESENT.

"What do you mean you can't come on down to help? Typical male!"

"Mavis!" Toby protested over the walkie talkie. "That's hardly fair! I'm not her of my own free will, you know! I'm here because I've been told to, and because they've refused to take off these bloody wheel clamps! I'd much rather be down there with you, and-" He paused, and then retracted the last part about Bill and Ben in his mind "-with you! Least I'd be getting work done!"

"And that's another thing! I've heard it rumoured that they're thinking of reopening part of the old tramway back up for...some reason?"

"News to me!"

"But what I mean is, you're going to busy there leaving me to deal with the twins AND the quarry AND the rest of it, unless they get some cheap tart in yellow to give you a hand!"

"Not very feminist of you, Mavis."

"Piss off, fusspot."

"Love you too."

Mavis hesitated. "There is one other thing. Not about you, more...well, it's something to think about, at least. I'd not bring it up yet, because I imagine that tensions are running a little high."

"High? Nonsense. Only thing that's high right now is Henry, and even that seems a bit more pathetic than usual. Everything else is just low, low, low. Incluiding morale."

"Then perhaps I shouldn't-"

"This session is going to give me nothing to think about otherwise, so you might as well spill the beans now."

"...There's been a sort of culling in terms of jobs. All the drivers and firemen have been sacked."

Toby spat out his drink. "THEY'VE WHAT!?"

"Yeah. Most of them are getting some jobs elsewhere, working as porters and guards and other staff and the like, so it's not as if they're being shoved off to some funny farm. But it's more who hasn't been reassigned that's worrying me. Three specifically. Carlin, Charlie Sand and Sidney Hever."

"Why the last-Ah. Edward."

"Yeah."

"Hmm...Well, it's something to consider. I won't tell them right now, with the way things are going that could lead to a full scale riot. Shit, my time's running out!"

"You're not that old!"

"Ha! No, I mean Arthur's coming back, looks like my free-phone call is out. Chat to you later, have a good day!"

"No promises! ...Good luck, Toby."

"Ta, m'dear."

It took Toby three minutes to realise that he really should have asked about how they were going to be driving with their drivers out of commission. And by that point, he was in too deep to react.

...

THE PAST.

"Good morning Gordon!"

"Up yours! AHAHAHA! Am I not the wittiest?!"

So began a busy, bustling morning on the Island of Sodor for Gordon and Percy. With the fake snow having been cleared away, all steam engines and diesels were working happily to get the day's work done.

…Oh, wait, hang on, I misread that last line. Ahem.

All steam engines and diesels were NOT working, and were quite happy to see the day's work be left undone for the next ten to twenty weeks. James in particular was seething behind the massive grin plastered upon his face by the makeup artist, for he was pulling a series of vans were really quite rude to him.

Then again, being quite rude to James was a bit like touching a foxglove. It only took a little interaction to piss them off a significant amount.

The Fat Controller, meanwhile, came to see Thomas. We'll ignore for a moment that if this is the same day as the preceding shot, then Thomas has somehow managed to rush all the way back to the sheds from the docks, get into his berth and then be greeted by the Fat Controller. Because when have we ever pointed out a teeny-tiny plot hole like that, eh?

"The quarry has an important order to fill!"

"Three big macs, two Coca Cola's and a free toy?"

"Don't be a bloody smart-arse, Thomas. I need an engine that is both useful and reliable." He looked around. "Sadly, Toby's only contracted for one, maybe two episodes where he's the main focus, so you'll have to do."

"It is my name in the title after all!"

"Don't remind me!"

"Ah, don't worry about me! I shall not let thee down, tubbs!"

"Wow, you are just….letting go of all that respect you had for me, aren't you, Thomas?"

"Pretty much, sir."

….

But when he arrived at the quarry, Thomas was in for a surprise.

The engine standing there was not someone who should be back here, again. Yet, here he was. Black, oily, with a face that indicated that he was constantly thinking of the next maniacal trap to catch Batman in before the cliffhanger of the show, before it turned into a scowl at the merest sight of him.

"Oh, it's you." Diesel oiled.

"Wait, aren't you dead?"

"Don't know what you mean." Diesel growled. "All I remember is you steamies to ruin my life. The Fat Arse has worked out that letting me go was a mistake. I have a guaranteed contract now. I'm going to be revolutionary-"

"OH NO HE ISN'T."

Diesel slowly turned to glare at the workman. "Oh yes I am!" He hissed back.

"OH NO HE ISN'T!"

"OH YES I AM!"

"OH NO HE-"

"Yes I am Yes I am YES I AM!" Diesel paused, and then turned back, once more the model of calm and poise. "What are you doing here!?"

"I'm here to help my friend Maria!" He stared at his driver's shaking head. "Marik?" Again, a shaking head. "Maaaaaaaaaaaarlon?" He turned back. "Okay so I haven't interacted with her many times, don't even think we've even had a drink together! But still, she is my friend because all people are my friends! Except for you, jerkarse!"

"Steamies can't help! They're weaker and they're not like a diesel at all!"

"Well that's a logical argument! Oh wait, that's like the opposite of that, what's it called? Ah yes, bloody lunacy!" Mavis sidled up. "Oh, hey, uh….Thomas. It's Mavis, by the by. Apparently I'm not allowed to leave this area of the quarry now."

"I sympathize. I'm stuck on the entire Island."

Mavis did not point out that this was not quite the same thing, for fear that she may just kill Thomas on the spot. Thomas began to work at once.

….

"Ah, terrific. Another bloody hopper. I swear, if Percy comes along and screws it up, I'm going to-MMFLFHMPH!"

"You're going to Mmflfhmph?" Mavis frowned. "Is that in Wales?"

Diesel was up to his old tricks. He had shoved Thomas under the hopper. His pride, still wounded by the ashes and cinders incident, began to pulse. "CINDERS AND ASHES!" He roared, aware that he was now directly on camera, and wanting to look his best even as stones and rocks poured into his mouth. He let off steam.

There was a loud sniff. "WHAT'S THAT HORRIBLE SMELL?!" Diesel gasped, for he had realized he had made a mistake by inhaling steam. He went off to be violently ill somewhere, which suited him just fine. "IT'S JUST A STINKY OLD STEAM ENGINE!"

"How RUUUUUDE." Thomas the Camp Engine declared.

"No wonder- ACK! – the Fat Controller is trying to- PTEW! -scrap steamies!"

"Ha! What a stupid name! And I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" Thomas began to cry then, for he wanted an award for this work, even if it killed his macho image. He didn't have a macho image, but no one had the heart to tell him.

"WHAT-" Thomas declared, as he was forced to spend the night at the quarry "-if Diesel is right?! What if he plans to scrap ALL OF US!? Us!? The stars of a major television show that has money and awards attached to it!? Oh, IT'S TOO PLAUSIBLE."

…..

"So….Diesel."

"That is my name, do not wear it out."

"Why are you called that?"

"It is a STATEMENT OF FACT."

"….Yes. It's also a ruddy stupid name. I'm not going to around with a driver and fireman who literally call themselves Driver and Fireman, or a doctor named Doctor. …Were they too cheap to give you a name?"

"Shut up, Mavis! You smelly….girl, you! Someone else is coming tomorrow, and I shall at last have someone sensible to talk to!"

…..

"AHOY MATEY!"

"Who the hell are you, clown?" sneered Diesel, though more out of bafflement than anything else. Mavis rolled her eyes and smirked.

"I be Salty!"

"I did not ask for your hygiene!" He stared. "Oh…Oh that's your literal name. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Arrrr, be fine, lad! I bring fresh diesel from the mainland, so I do! It's the good grog! I've already taken five barrels for me own private collection! Now, while ye go back to work, I be going to swab the docks clean again, before that bloody silly cove Cranky screws the pooch!"

"What a strange creature." Diesel mused as Salty left.

Once the fuel was inputted, Diesel's engine began to rev faster and faster. "Hahaha, oh this is GOOD STUFF!" He cackled maniacally to himself as he spoke. "This new fuel makes my axles tingle!"

"How lewd!" Thomas paused. "Coal doesn't make my axles tingle. I wish I had fuel that could do that."

"Ha! Once again, a steamie realizes the folly of his ways too late!"

"OH HAHAHA THIS IS CRACKING! RIGHT THERE!" Mavis appeared to be having a whole other experience over in the corner. Thomas was feeling left out, and resolved to get hold of some drugs from Henry later on. Soon, Diesel was showing off.

"I'm the fastest engine in the world!" He slurred. "Look at me go!"

He went.

He stopped.

And then his engine began to cough, splutter and then it died. Black smoke began to raise from it, the kind of black smoke that indicated that something was very wrong indeed. His face turned green, or more so than usual. "I feel sick!"

Thomas would have laughed, but Mavis was also bleeding black. The smoke locked around Thomas's lips and nose like a vice, suffocating him. "GAH! Someone ever tell you it's impolite to blow smoke in someone's face!"

The quarry manager was upset. "It's the new fuel!" He declared, ever a Sherlock fan. "Water must have leaked into the tanks!"

"How do you know that, sir?" asked Thomas.

"I drank some, why do you-OH GOD I'VE MADE A MISTAKE!"

Elsewhere, all the other diesels were beginning to break down. Arry, Bert, Derek (Recently returning from his sabbatical and attempt to wean him off the drink, which went…reasonably well) and even Salty. "I WAS WRONG, JIM LAD! Bury me at sea, where the gulls lay!"

The Fat Controller phoned the quarry manager.

He was busy throwing up, so his deputy had to answer for him. And when he did, he came to see Thomas.

"You are to collect fresh diesel from the depot!"

"Oh, we're replacing that one already?"

"Oh WHAT A COMEDIAN!" shouted Diesel, through fits and splutters, and a significant amount of green mixing in with the black smoke.

"Ha! Right away, boss!" And Thomas steamed out of the quarry as fast as he could, feeling unbearably smug.

He arrived at the fuel depot in plenty of time. "STICK EM UP!" He screamed, to amuse himself. "Give us all the clean fuel you've got, or I'll…I'll…I'LL SIC GORDON UPON YOU!"

In some areas of the Island, this amounts to terrorism, so the depot manager got to work at once. "We'll soon have you loaded!"

"A drink! Why thank you!"

"This wasn't what I meant." Thomas complained as he was hooked up to the flatbed containing the barrels of fuel. He started off, and then stopped, and then wheezed his way forward, his body shaking and gasping with the weight of the trucks.

But still he kept on going.

He dropped off barrel after barrel. First to Salty ("ARR! LAD! Me grog!"), then to Arry and Bert ("Thank you, now piss off!"), and then, at last, back towards the quarry. He felt very tired, but happy.

He had no idea who Derek was, so the latter was left to suffer for ages. Bang went the sobriety.

…..

Diesel was as green as a leaf. Assuming that we are talking about a leaf in summer/spring time, and not one of the other kinds of leaves. He was very green, okay!? Mavis was looking no better, and feeling glum.

As they heard the whistle, their mood did not pick up, even as Thomas steamed in with one final puff. "I MADE IT! SUCK ON THAT, WANKER!" And then he passed out.

Mavis and Diesel's engines were drained of the bad fuel, and replaced with the new clean fuel.

Diesel muttered something that might have been "Marvellous" though he didn't look at Thomas.

"Thank you Thomas!" said Mavis, who was polite enough, at least. They got back to work as fast as they could, the quarry clattering with the sound of work.

And the non-specific important job was soon complete, just in time for Percy to collect a paycheck by bringing the Fat Controller to examine it.

"Well I'll be damned! Nice job, Thomas. And for once, you're not the one who screwed it up!"

"You sound surprised."

"I am! You have saved the day. And for once, you're not the one who screwed it up to begin with. You are a really useful engine and a credit to the railway!"

"Oh, ta sir!"

And even Diesel had to admit, though not to anyone's face, that Thomas is a very special engine. Even if he is a steamie.

Thomas ruined the moment by doing a victory lap and bragging, BTW. But I assume we all guessed that anyway.

….

"So it worked, then?"

"Surprisingly well, all things considered." Zero shrugged his shoulders. "A little suggestion here, a bigger suggestion there, and now Diesel's fully installed on the Island for the foreseeable future."

"I still don't get why we couldn't just keep D1. This one is-"

"Has been reset to his original mindset. Namely, steam engines bad, diesels good, and that he's the victim of some great conspiracy. Which he is, he's just got the wrong side. That means he's loyal in a way that the Fakes will never truly be. And besides, D1's use was running out." Zero looked to Jasper. "Now, I've got an idea as to what you can do next."

"Which is?"

"Find the Grotto. Let's see what we can get from our experiments on the buffers. Who knows what we'll find?"

...

THE PRESENT.

The group glared at each other, barely restraining their contempt for themselves, each other, Arthur, the Fat Controller and the whole sorry mess that they were all in. It was a contempt buffet, practically.

Arthur beamed at all of them. "So! Let us start with a simple exercise!"

"Ha! I'm fastest and best, AND I WILL BEAT YOU ALL!"

"Not that kind of exercise, Sausage."

"Why I oughta-"

"AHEM!" Arthur's smile didn't dim, in fact if anything it increased. Thomas hated it, more than he had ever hated something before. "This is good, communication with each other is good!"

Percy muttered "So can I call Thomas a piece of shit?" to Toby, who promptly choked on his drink laughing.

"Now, our first task is this." He backed up, revealing a projector that was pointing at the shed wall. "I want you to tell me why you think you are here, with me, in this fortified yard with wheel restraints wrapped around your lower half."

"Yeah, I was meaning to ask about that, what the hell?"

"Well, Emily, the Fat Controller said that some of you might take the fact that you are here, having to listen to me to be a punishment of sorts." Thomas and Gordon nodded eagerly. "So we just want to make sure that you stay here so you can learn that no, this is more an opportunity to be better and healthier engines. Now, let's start with Toby."

"Why me?"

"Because you're going to be the shortest one in terms of speech length."

"You know what, that sounds accurate." Toby cleared his throat. "I'm here-"

"Please introduce yourself to the group."

"But…didn't we already do that?"

"Are you a therapist?"

"…..No."

"Don't judge my methods! They work!"

"Of course they do. Right. I'm Toby-"

"HI TOBY." Intoned the other seven engines.

"-and I think I'm here because I'm…a stabilizing influence on the group, so hopefully if something gets out of hand and they try to kill you….I'll be there to talk them down?"

Arthur nodded, clearly missing the fact that there were several threats implicit in this statement. "Hmm…hmm, I see, I see. All right, thank you Toby. Everyone give him a round of applause…oh wait, no hands, hahaha!"

No one else laughed.

"Emily?"

"I'm Emily-"

"HI EMILY."

"-And I'm here because I'm new? And because pain and suffering, I guess, is what this Island is all about? Also, ye need some new meat to really appreciate the screwed-up-ness of the Island."

Thomas whistled. "I call bull, can you dock her points for her lack of good word-speech?!"

"This isn't a competition, Thomas!"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE?!" Thomas wailed.

"….Percy?"

"Uh, I'm Percy Esquire-"

"….Hi….Percy Esquire?"

"-and I'm here because I'm honestly kinda messed up in the head from the repeated trauma that this head of mine gets shoved into various trucks, walls, walls of trucks and so on and so on."

"Honesty! I appreciate it! …Not sure about Percy Esquire though. Henry."

"…..Henry."

"HI HENRY."

"I'm here because the drugs I've been growing are not TECHNICALLY legal, which is bull, because I've been using myself as a guniea pig and nothing bad has-"

Henry suddenly did a full flip and screamed aloud in Swedish something about the coming of the dark god. He paused, and then continued as if nothing had happened. "-as I was saying, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME."

There was a long pause as Arthur's speech-to-text translator went into overdrive with the writing down of notes. He looked up and grinned. "Thomas?"

"I'm Thomas-"

"HI THOM-"

"Can we NOT!? The joke got old! I'm here because as your leader-" Roars of laughter exploded outwards "-I AM! I AM YOUR LEADER! RESPECT ME! As your leader you need someone to make sure that you…well, idiots make it through alive! Oh, and I'm guess I'm here because people need to make sure I can handle the price of fame, but-" he began to laugh slightly hysterically "-do I look like I'm handling this badly?"

No one answered.

"DO I?!"

Half-heartedly, Emily, Edward and Toby remarked "No, not really" while the others sat in grumpy silence.

"James."

One could, if possible, detect the sound of six engines who weren't James or the still salivating Thomas, licking their lips.

"I'm the Really Splendid Engine, Hero, Trendsetter, King and Friends to All Living Things, James, the Red Engine!"

There was deadpan silence.

"And I am here because I'm BEING FRAMED! IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!"

That was all he would say. Seven engines were very disappointed, yet still intrigued.

"Gordon."

"I'm Gordon. I'm here because SOMEONE-" He glared at Edward "-is determined to spoil our fun! And because SOMEONE-" he snarled at Edward "-very clearly wants to try and break us at this most important time. And also, SOMEONE-" He spat in Edward's general direction, at which point the wind blew it back right into his face "-is very clearly jealous that I'm harder, better, faster and stronger than he is! …Not in a sex way, for the first one. I mean I'm tough. I don't want to name names, EDWARD, but I think it's clear, EDWARD, that there's some sort of, EDWARD, mistake here that SOMEONE, EDWARD, is capitalising on."

"Don't hold back, Gordon." said Henry, wearily.

There was a long silence. Arthur looked to Edward. "Lastly, but not least!"

"….I'm Edward. I'm here because I was stupid and I made a mistake and I lost my temper, and I'm sorry, so can we please just…finish this up?"

And with that, silence descended as Arthur looked at his notes, carefully. "Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! Illuminating! ….Now we move on to phase two."

"I APOLOGISED!" Edward screamed, suddenly. "WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

"Easy there, buckaroo." Arthur sighed. "Now, if my attendant could find some pleasant jazz music to listen to-" Pleasant jazz music was found "-perfecto! Now, we're going to start one on one sessions, and we'll report back to the group on what we've learned from those! …Let's start with Thomas!"

"I'd rather not!"

"Anyone else want to volunteer?"

There was the collective sound of seven engines slamming on their brakes as hard as could physically be allowed.

"No, I didn't think so!"

The wheel clamp was released just in time for a chain to yank the hapless engine off towards a secondary part of the therapy area.

The silence was deafening. At last, Toby broke it.

"Conspiracy?"

James said nothing to this.

….

The section of yard set aside for private, one on one interviews was a little hap-hazard, to put it mildly. There were no real areas to put the various motivational posters up in, so they were sort of just draped across the line. Arthur looked to Thomas calmly, wondering how best to approach this.

"So Thomas-"

Arthur took a deep breath

"-let's talk about you for a second."

"Ha! Do your worst!"

…..

ONE HOUR LATER.

"Holy shit, Arthur! What did you do?"

"My worst!"

Thomas returned to the group sobbing hysterically and in a very ugly manner. Everyone looked at him in horror, then at Arthur.

The latter engine was examining the notes he had taken over the course of the interview.

-Has insanely massive Napoleon complex. A real paradox.
-A classic case of hurting those who he secretly likes.
-Like me, clearly.
-Though he hates a lot of people legitimately.
-Also has father issues.
-Doesn't really seem to have a best friend despite efforts to convince me that 'the small green one is quite desperate to be my mate', so there's that.
-Ego is also dangerously swollen.
-And yet somehow underdeveloped.
-Has problem with authority.
-Hates boards, mines, engines being assholes, engines not being able to take him being an asshole and common sense.
-Reacted quite negatively to tapes I showed regarding other engines opinions of him.
-The kind of personality that craves addiction and what he can't have.
-Further examination needed.
-Reacts negatively to onions.

"Right! Henry, you're next!"

Henry whimpered.