Thankfully their meals together didn't stop. They still had breakfast together, and even dinners for the most part. Most of the time though, Deidara would take his new lady on lunch date and the very occasional dinner. He tried his best to avoid dinners as they were where he would have to consume the most foul food. Lunch time he could get something small and fill up on a beverage. Thankfully Sasori couldn't ruin those for him.

He did brew a mean coffee though.

Sometimes Deidara would even save his midday snack that Sasori would make him for their lunch dates, just to say to her that it was part of his diet. Like Sasori though, she was adamant he did not need to lose weight but was all for him gaining more muscle; so she wholeheartedly accepted his poor excuse.
Thank god.

Curious, Deidara was wondering how long things could go on like this. Eventually she would want to have more dinners together. What if she... wanted to make him breakfast?

"Blegh." he groaned, thinking about the one time they ate at a small coffee shop where she had fried eggs, avocado and toast for lunch. The toast and avocado looked fine; but those eggs? Yikes! Those egg whites looked so rubbery and over done, and then she further ruined them with...with... ketchup AND mayonnaise! On a fried egg!? With the avocado toast!

Deidara shuddered at the thought. What a horrid taste pallet! Thank goodness he didn't have to eat her cooking!

"Oh no..." he gasped, holding his chest. What if one day she did want to cook for him? How to he eat her cooking without puking knowing the crap she eats? "Let's hope that day doesn't come for a long time, un."

Sasori still enjoyed Deidara's company, even though he knew the blond was taken. He hadn't given up. He couldn't give up. He was in love damn it! Besides, the blond was still hooked on his cooking so he was still in the race for his affection. At least that was the pretty lie he liked to tell himself as he poured his heart into every meal he made for his neighbor, begging internally that it could be tasted.
Walking away from his stack of cookbooks, he was caught off guard by the door knocking. He was shocked and very tempted to slam the door in this visitors face, but knew he couldn't.

"Heya Sasori! I ran into this little lady near the apartment and she wanted to talk to you!" Hidan said with a huge smile, holding no malice. How could he? He didn't know this was the vixen that stole Sasori's dream man. This was the kind lady who nudged Deidara away from Sasori so Hidan could squeeze on in there and get a little yummies.

"Oh... hello." Sasori mumbled, inching behind his door to hide.

"Hello you must be Sasori!" The girl almost yelled as she thrust out a hand and forcibly opening the door and taking Sasori's into it, "I was wondering if you could tell me what Deidara's favorite dinner is!"

Sasori stared at the hand holding his. He wanted to gnaw off the tight grip but didn't. Instead he took a deep breath, "What may I ask for?"

"His birthday, silly! Does he have a favorite cake too?"

He wanted to faint. This girl was going to be cooking Deidara's birthday dinner? He wanted to cook Deidara his birthday dinner! It wasn't fair!
"Uh... I can get the recipes for you." He said, containing his misery as he knew he wouldn't get to pamper the blond with food on his birthday. Now what was he going to get him? A scented candle? A pocket knife? What did college boys even like- a video game maybe? What kind though!

This was such an inconvenience.

The girl walked on into Sasori home and hummed loudly as she caught whiff of what Sasori was cooking. There on the counter was a glass bowl with golden frosting, and an illuminated oven with something baking inside, "May I take a peek?" she asked, already having a good clue what it was.

"Sure." Sasori mumbled, looking through his recipe box for the one in particular. He already had it memorized, but finding it was something else. Plus he needed to find a good cake recipe. Deidara didn't have a favorite that he knew of, so he decided to pick something not too difficult to screw up.

Opening it a peek, she stared at what looked like four perfect cinnamon buns, the smell of apples hitting her nostrils as well. On the counter she got a better look at what was in the bowls. The golden frosting looked like homemade caramel sauce to drizzle on the glistening, sticky, apple-cinnamon buns. Plus there was a smaller bowl with crushed candied pecans that also looked like they were toasted and candied by Sasori himself.

"This is incredible... I can't wait to cook something just as tasty for Deidara!"

Sasori scoffed at the remark. Cooking like he did wasn't a cake walk. It was hard work, the ability to multitask, the power to use your time wisely, and using a refined pallet. Getting up he handed her the two recipes, "I made this dinner for Deidara once and he absolutely loved it. He talked about it for days. As for the cake, this is a good all around basic one that he should be very happy with."

The girl pouted, "no fancy cake?"

Rolling his eyes, Sasori sighed, "If you make that dinner for him, he'll be more than impressed. Time things right and keep an eye on everything. It's not a easy meal to prepare."

Laughing, the girl took the recipe cards, "I'm a great chef! Deidara will love it!"

If it was made by the girl he liked?

"Yeah, I'm sure he will."

-x-

On the day of Deidara's birthday, it started like any other. He came to Sasori's and ate a delicious breakfast of crepes. Sasori decided that since he could only cook for him once today, he might as well go all out.

"Happy birthday." Sasori smiled as he popped a small party popper, sliding the empty crepe across the table for Deidara to fill with whatever he wanted from the array of fillings. "I'm no good with gifts, but I can make a mean crepe."

Deidara gushed and thanked Sasori profusely, eager to dig in to his breakfast that looked so amazing. This was surely not a diet breakfast, that's for sure. It was his birthday though! Who cares about diets? These crepes were going in his stomach pronto!
"Ohhh it's so delicious, un!" Deidara moaned as whipped cream and berry sauce failed to make it into his mouth. He was already excited to try the chocolate banana one next, and then the strawberry cheesecake one. In fact, he couldn't wait to see what Sasori was making for dinner!

This morning he smiled wide as he got to watch Sasori skillfully make the thin pastries, cooking them to golden perfection. It was a meal and a show that would meet its artistic climax as he dug his fork and knife into it to destroy and devour it.

Once Deidara was out the door, Sasori was left to pout and snack on the leftover sliced strawberries since he ate a savory crepe. Of course he would be frowning, soon his beloved Deidara would be at school, eating lunch with his buddies, work, and then coming home to his girlfriend preparing his favorite dish.
He could already tell that Deidara wouldn't be joining him for breakfast tomorrow.

Oh how Deidara wanted to gag. His friend whom sat right beside him- his lunch smelled so bad! Even though they took him to a more upscale restaurant; what that chef concocted, it stunk! Unfortunately his friends wouldn't let him order a simple salad. Instead he ordered the salmon and didn't have any trouble eating it. Sure it was a little bland and he found a few bones, but it wasn't terrible. He would hope the food was good based on how expensive it was! Still- What was wrong with that dish beside him? It was so smelly!

In the end, he was given his gifts and teased mercilessly about his fancy tastebuds. "Of course he would be able to eat the food here!" and "Princess Deidara eating his fancy fiiiish!"

Why did he even hang out with these people? They were so irritating! He just wanted to eat delicious food and have a decent conversation like he would with Sasori. Now that was a real gentleman to have a meal with. How was the guy single? He was definitely charming, handsome, talented and delightfully quirky.

"Is that fish that good Princess Deidara? You're smiling like crazy!"

Deidara glared at the guy, "Shut up, un."

While Deidara was at work, his girlfriend stopped by Sasori's house with grocery bags. Time for her plan to be set in motion, she just needed to get into Deidara's place - which is where Sasori stepped in to help. Then he'd be off on his way!

"There." He mumbled, opening the apartment with the spare key the blond had given him.

"Thank you!"

Sasori returning to his solitude didn't last long as his door was quickly pounded on yet again, "What?"

"Deidara doesn't have a barbecue."

"And?"

"Pfft. I'm making steak..."

"..."

"I can see from Deidara's porch into yours. You have one. Let me use it."

"Okay..."

Sasori watched from a distance as the pushy girl tried to use it. Tried. Within a few minutes she was staring at him, begging eyes pleading for help to turn it on. As he turned it on he frowned. Why was she making the meat so early? She should be making the cake first as the meat took about five minutes to render, fifteen minutes to cook and five to rest. Did she even render the fat yet? What kind of meat did she buy?
He looked at the piece of meat and frowned, "This isn't the type that's on the recipe card." he noted as he stared at what was on the barbecue as he helped her.

"It's just steak. All steak is good! Besides, this one was much cheaper. The one you suggested, they were smaller and so expensive!"

"It's a prime cut..." Sasori mumbled, "It's better."

Deidara deserved better.

"It's small! I need more food to cook for my man." she snorted.

Sasori turned off the barbecue making her scowl and gave him a strange look.
"That's why there is the seafood. Have you started the cake?" he asked, staring harsh back.

"Uh, no?"

"Make the cake first. Bake it, be sure to let it cool and then frost it or you will end up with a huge mess." He walked inside and handed her one of his cake stands that he knew Deidara didn't already have and that she didn't bring with her. "Then come back over to make the meat."

She huffed a bit but went back to Deidara's place to start the cake. He knew what he was doing after all.

About a little less than hour later she came back with a smile and her steak. Again Sasori stared at it, wondering why the fat on it hadn't been rendered. The piece she bought was very fatty and of poor quality. He wouldn't dream of feeding that to Deidara.
"You didn't render the fat..."

"See, I don't know what that means exactly and I've made steaks before and never did it and it came out fine. Besides, doesn't fat add flavour? I do know how to cook you know. Maybe that's why you do so many unnecessary things?"

Sasori was appalled. Him? Him do unnecessary things!? Was this woman insane!
Taking a deep breath he stepped back, "Alright fine. Do it your way." and went back inside.
He looked at the clock and raised a brow. It was still early. How did she bake and decorate that layered cake so fast? Maybe she did a simple decoration... even though she wanted to do something fancy?
"I sure hope she listened to me when I told her to cool the cake before decorating it."

While the girl cooked, Sasori glanced over. She sure was cooking the hell out of that if she was going for a soft medium rare meat. He would have helped her, but she did insult him and had made it very clear she was capable.

Finally when she was done, "you can turn it off now. Thanks for letting me use it. I think I will use your advice and render it."

"Do you know what that means now?"

"I did a quick google search and it means to cook it in a pan to get the fat off."

Sasori looked at the brown meat and then back to her, "but you already cooked the meat..."

"So? I can still render it can't I?"

"No."

"Well I'm sure I can!" She said with a smile as she rushed to render the meat and get started on the beans, sauce and then the seafood last. At least Sasori hopes she would do it in that order. The worst thing she could do was to cook the seafood and leave it to get cold, then toss it in the microwave to reheat it.

He shuddered at the thought of ruining those lovely scallops and delicious little shrimp.

The door slammed open and Sasori stared wide eyed at the girl. How dare she barge in like this!

"My cake collapsed!"

Raised brows, Sasori already knew what she did wrong, "Did you let the cake cool before you iced it like I said?"

"Uh, no! Everyone knows warm cake is better than cold cake!"

Sasori rushed over and while she rendered the steak, he tried his best to salvage the layers of cake that slid right off the cake stand. He had to scrape off the icing, rush back to his place and make a new batch as he glared at the tub of bought stuff she used. Disgusting! He restacked the cake and he iced it professionally. He left the cake plain and left her a few full piping bags to give it some simple decorations to cover any mistakes. She did want it 'fancy' after all.

Sprinkles? Fancy? What a joke.

"Good! No pink." She said, testing a steak.

Dear lord.

As he went to leave the girl, he went pale. There she was boiling the green beans in one pot and making scallops in the pan. The bearnaise sauce wasn't even done! Scallops last! Scallops last! It even said that on the recipe card. You can reheat the sauce slowly on the stove, but for the love of all that is sacred and delicious, you cannot reheat a scallop!

Deidara was dating a complete and utter fool! How was he being replaced by her?

Sasori watched as she slid the steaks into the oven in an attempt to keep them warm. In other words, cook them even more. As she bent over towards the over he scowled and looked at his own behind. Now he could see what Deidara saw in her over him.
Guess it was time to go home and sulk some more, thinking over all the times Deidara saw him reach into the oven with his pathetic little butt in the air.

Another knock on his door and Sasori scowled. He was so miserable, he didn't even put an ounce of effort into tonight's cooking. Every time he opened the fridge he was mocked by the delicious and gourmet ingredients he had purchased for Deidara's dinner.

"Deidara?"

"I smell barbecue!" Deidara chimed loudly with a smile, ready to eat whatever Sasori just finished making him for his birthday dinner.

"Actually... maybe you should head home first."

"Why? That's weird... I'm hungry what's for dinner, man?"

"Put your stuff in your place."

Deidara pouted and went to his door and was shocked to see his girlfriend and the smell of dinner. He looked at Sasori with wide and worried eyes.

"Sasori told me your favorite dinner and gave me some recipe card so ta-daaa! Happy birthday, sweetie!"

Deidara's look of fear immediately relaxed. If they were Sasori's recipe cards there was nothing to fear. And something that was his favorite? Was that why he smelled barbecue? What could it be...

"Steak!" Deidara smiled as he looked at the plate. Sure it wasn't plated nearly as nice as Sasori did it, but it had all the elements. From the steak, even though this one looked different, really dark...to the... just green beans? No white? The seafood was there! So was the bernaise! Still, it was Sasori's recipe. Things would be great.

"Buh-bye, Sasori!" The girl said as she shoved him out the door.

Oh how Sasori wanted to hit that pushy girl.

Deidara ignored the two and stabbed his meat, noting immediately how his fork could not penetrate it. The more he sawed at it with his knife, the more dry flaky bits scattered away on the shriveled meat.
"Uh-huh..."

one more ok? bye for now losers ~