The next morning Sasori stood in his kitchen in front of his stove staring into space. Last night he was so sad he ate his sad little dinner and went to bed early. He glanced down and touched at the apron Deidara got him, recalling the smile on his sweet beloved neighbors face when he gave it to him.

He was giving up on Deidara. This whole "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" was nothing but a fantasy. This fairytale was now coming to an end.

Still he was sad, yes, so he was in need of encouragement. In other words? He needed to eat his misery away with an extravagant breakfast of soft boiled eggs over homemade English muffins, topped with hollandaise sauce. The bitter thoughts of the night prior made him need to drown his misery in cooking. He needed a good meal to eat his feelings away until he felt full and not numb. Of course though, he made too much, this time by accident. He was just too used to feeding Deidara by now.

Perfect for the engorging.

As he sat down, the door bell rang. Surprisingly, there was Deidara, ready for breakfast as per usual and ready to start the day with a tasty meal.

"What's on the menu? I need to cleanse my pallet, pronto!" Deidara gushed, pushing right on in, smelling the air as Sasori's delicious cooking had yet again filled the apartment. "Ooh that smells so good!"

Of course Sasori was bewildered beyond compare and of course he wasn't going to just turn Deidara away. If anything, Sasori approved of this pushy behavior.

"Where is she?" Sasori said as he slid Deidara his meal, which was technically his original plate of food.

"Oh? Uh yeah, I threw up on her."

"You what!?"

"Yeah, ugh, I couldn't look at her much longer after I ate that crap. Then I threw up on her 'cause the food was so bad. I'm going to dump her sometime next week, un."

Thank goodness he didn't get food poisoning!

Sasori quickly turns around to hide his wide smile as he fished out the next boiling eggs, dishing himself up some of the breakfast. "I told her what meal you would like, what was wrong with it? She told me she was a good cook!"

Oh who was he kidding? He knew she was a terrible cook. She did have a nice ass though.

Deidara scoffed so loudly that it made Sasori jump a little, "The steak was soo over done! It was so dry, charred and fatty unlike yours! She cooked the seafood until it was rubber. I saw it come out of the microwave!" Sasori cringed, "The sauce was over seasoned with salt and the beans! They were frozen-" Sasori gasped in horror. "-and over cooked to mealy mush!" Deidara hit the kitchen island with his palm and leaned over the table, "She even used margarine on the beans."

Sasori covered his mouth. Speechless.

"Margarine, my man. Mar-ga-rine."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Sasori was at a moment lost for words, "But-but...everyone knows that you can believe it's not butter!"

"You butter believe she didn't though!" Deidara scowled, and took another bite of his food, moaning in delight as the sauce and yolk coated the inside of his mouth and soaked into his taste buds. "My god this is delicious... hey!"

"What?"

"You're wearing the pie apron I bought you, un!"

Sasori didn't look down, rather he kept a straight face and raised a hand to the collar of his shirt, tugging on it, "No I am not."

"My man, I can see it."

"Yeah- well!" Sasori huffed and and leaned over the counter, hunching his body so the apron was hidden, "That other one WAS getting old."

"You look very good in it..."

"Hm?"

"Just as I pictured." Deidara chimed, batting his eyelashes as he leaned on his elbows.

Sasori groaned, how dare this brat be a flirty with him! How dare he be such a rude tease as usual.
"So you're going to be single again, huh?" Sasori then asked, taking a bite of his food, "Welcome back to the club I guess..."

"Speaking of single, why are you still single, un?"

The egg slid right off Sasori's silverware.
"Excuse me?"

"You're handsome, own your own place, you're an amazing chef and have a stable, well paying job and an interesting art hobby. I don't get it."

Sasori sighed and held up his mug of coffee skywards, "Unrequited love."

"Oh...oh?"

Taking a sip as he brought his mug back down, Sasori watched Deidara's expression change into a variety.
"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah but... I just feel bad about your situation, un."

"Ahh... don't be." He hummed staring into his dark brewed coffee, almost as if he was unable to make eye contact with his neighbor again. "I learned a new talent and got a new hobby I guess. I also like mushrooms now."

Deidara narrowed his eyes, "What? Mushrooms?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Oh how Sasori was hurting inside. Deidara would never know his feelings if he couldn't taste them. Wait a moment...
"Deidara! I originally wanted to make a dinner for you for your birthday. Your girlfriend showed up at my place and claimed that spot though... do you think I could still make you something- maybe tonight?"

Deidara stared at Sasori surprised. He wanted to specifically make him something?
"So I won't be eating your leftovers?" he asked, sitting up at the news.

"Of course not. You'd be my special guest."

"So you're specifically inviting me over for a dinner... for a dinner just for me, un?"

Sasori narrowed his eyes ever so slightly as he was confused, "Well... yes." he mumbled. Weren't all the dinners specifically for him?

Deidara turned pink. One of Sasori's gourmet meals made just for him? Not leftovers? Could it be that Sasori was maybe asking him out?
"Oh, Okay..." he said, brushing the hair out of his face and behind his ear before taking another bite. "Mm... what time should I be here at?"

"The usual. Six-thirty."

Deidara went to school, avoided his girlfriend and friends, ate a quick delicious lunch with Sasori and went to work. He couldn't wait a moment longer to rush home as fast as possible before six-thirty. He had to get ready after all.
Once home, Deidara showered, reapplied his make up, got dressed in his best clothes and stood in front of his mirror absolutely shaking. Was this being dressed up too much? Sasori did compliment him on his casual wear and did mention that one time he dressed for a date that he was over doing it.

So he did simplify it. His new slim fit black jeans and a pale blue, short sleeve, button up shirt. Simple. Natural. Simple. Relaxed. Simple.

At Sasori's door though he fanned his face to calm himself. This was no big deal, even if it felt like one for some reason! Just a casual dinner invitation; like always. This time however Sasori was making a special meal just for him!

Which was a first...

Well, now that he thought about; Sasori changed his whole eating lifestyle at one point for him when he noticed he needed to start dieting. At no point did Sasori need to diet. When did he start inviting him over in the first place? It had been so long now. Before then he had hardly ever saw his cranky neighbor. At what point did Sasori stop being cranky anyway? He still had his rough edges, yes, but most of the time he was as sweet as his desserts.

Deidara turned even pinker. He knew Sasori was a great catch, but-

It was too bad he didn't have a moment longer to think or even relax as the door swung open. There stood a well dressed Sasori in a tight black turtleneck and brown slacks, confidently wearing his cute cherry pie apron.
"Well? Come on in birthday boy." Sasori said, the opened door immediately gushing out the savory aroma of dinner.

"O-okAY." Deidara said, his voice cracking.

Sitting down at the table, Sasori immediately joined him as he placed two plates down. Two plates filled with something new and looking remarkably delicious.

"What's on the menu tonight Chef no Danna?" Deidara said more confidently after clearing his throat.

Sasori rolled his eyes at the title, "Tonight I've made for you a crusted, oven roasted rack of lamb, brown butter radishes and whole white mushrooms, and in this little dish is a carrot soufflé."

The meat was tender pink on the inside with the acclaimed crust around it. The browned radishes still held their pinkish skin hue that went wonderfully with the golden mushrooms and the dish filled with a cheesy, eggy, carrot soufflé that just looked perfect. It was ready to be cracked into and devoured.

"Oh my god this looks so good." Deidara said, admiring the different techniques and the fact he was having damn lamb for dinner. Lamb! After a bite? Delicious lamb! "This is... this is so good!"

Sasori smiled as he watched Deidara enjoy the food. How could he think he could give up on the blond? Watching Deidara enjoy his cooking just made him so happy. However he wouldn't let his heart get hurt anymore. If Deidara couldn't taste the love he poured into this meal; he would step back and leave the boy be. No more pining sadly for his heart would move on.

"This carrot soufflé is so flavorful!"

"I'm glad you like it." He said giving his own a taste. "It is good... definitely a keeper."

Gesturing to everything on the table Deidara said with a wide smile, "All of this is a keeper!"

Sasori smiled sadly in return. Everything just on the table huh? Guess he's not a keeper though.

After dinner Sasori came back with a simple looking white cake topped with a rich chocolate ganache. Well, that is until you saw the giant translucent sugar sculpture on the top. Something that was definitely up Deidara's alley in terms of transient art and had him gawking.

"Whoa! That's so pretty, un! Ooh, ohh! It's art! True art!"

"Just wait until I cut it..." Sasori said as he sliced it open, revealing many thin layers of chocolate and vanilla cake. The ridiculously thin layers of a spartak cake. It was beautiful. "There."

"Wooooow!"

Sasori's smile grew even more as he saw Deidara's eyes glisten in delight as he took a bite of his belated birthday cake as soon as it was placed in front of him. It made all that effort he put into that ridiculous isomalt sculpture seem worth it.

The smile didn't go unnoticed as Deidara for once looked up and away from his free meal. He had spent so long admiring the food Sasori made for him while he ate it, or while he was in the process of cooking it. However he never paid an ounce of attention to Sasori's expression as he ate the redheads cooking, not even once. Today's meal tasted different than the usual ones he got from the redhead. Something strange, but not in a bad way. Was this one more delicious? Like all the meals he had been given though, this one was just as addictive. After another bite and a moment of eye contact with Sasori, he noted that it wasn't that.

By this point Sasori noticed Deidara staring, "Does it taste bad?"

"No... no it's delicious... really delicious."

"You don't sound as happy though... I'm sorry, there must be something wrong with the cake, Ah jeeze." Sasori panicked. The only logical reason why Deidara wouldn't be acting strange was...

Oh no! Deidara could taste his love now and he decided he didn't like it!

"Sasori you're a really good chef. When did you start cooking? Did you go to culinary school at all, un?"

Well this was a new conversation. Usually the blond talked about himself or his art. Shaking his head, "No I'm self taught. I've been cooking for almost a year now. Again, it's just a hobby thing." Sasori said.

Deidara hummed. So Sasori started cooking well before he came over for that first dish of rosé pasta. That meal was different than the one he was eating now, and not just because they were completely different. Still, Sasori said he had unrequited love and learned a new hobby. Was the hobby he learned the hobby of cooking? Did he learn to cook for the person he loves?
Frowning, Deidara took a big bite of his cake. That must have meant when Sasori invited him with leftovers that first time; Sasori was stood up. All that extra food with no one to feed? Of course he'd give it away. All those times he fed him after that were Sasori wallowing in sadness as he fed him the food that would have been made for the person he loved.

"Deidara if it's gross, please don't be pressured to eat it!" Sasori called out as Deidara scarfed down the last of his slice.

"No..." Deidara mumbled going for another slice of cake and taking another huge bite, "no it's really, really delicious..."

"Then why do you look so sad?"

"You're only feeding me because you got rejected."

Sasori's eyebrows shot up. Had Deidara figured it out? He had been rejected by Deidara and that he indeed continued to feed him even more. He wanted to win Deidara's heart through his stomach even when all hope was lost.

"I guess I am... sorry."

"So I was never eating real leftovers huh? Just the meals for your imaginary love life."

"Well that's not entirely true..." Sasori spoke carefully, "I poured my whole heart into every meal for- "

"Stop it Sasori." Deidara grabbed the entire platter of cake this time and moving it on from of him, crudely forking up mouthfuls and grabbing at the sugar sculpture, breaking off pieces and eating it. "How- mmn, how do you...you think I should feel after eating all these meals prepared...with mmn...someone else, someone you love so dearly in mind, hm?"

"Yeah but Deidara, listen... wait."

Deidara looked up, icing, crumbs and a pout all over his face, "What!" He yelled, then stuffing his fingers into his mouth to lick frosting and other sweet bits off.

Sasori leaned over the kitchen island, "I made these for you though."

"What?"

Narrowing his eyes and tilting his head down, "whooo...else would I cook for?" Sasori asked, lost in Deidara's banter at this point.

"And- and the rosé pasta!?"

"The first dish I made you? That was just a successful meal. Well, I had been practicing for months and was so proud of it I wanted you to eat it right away. You liked it and I wanted you to come back for breakfast. If you liked breakfast so I wanted you back for lunch!"

"Wait, So you made something delicious... something you have been practicing for months and have to invite me over right away to eat it, hm?"

Sasori paled. He had said too much. Way too much.

Deidara took a few more bites of his cake, "were you never stood up?"

"Stood up? When was I stood up? I haven't had a date in years." Sasori admitted. Although he was certainly not going to admit he dreamed that the meals he shared with him were dates. Those fantasies were going to be kept to himself for along time; lest he want to appear to be a bigger loser than Deidara already thinks he is.

Taking another big bite of the cake, Deidara took in this new amount of information. It was a bit much for him to chew. The information, not the cake. He was fine with the cake, in fact, went back for another bite.
If Sasori was never stood up, he wanted to prepare the food for Deidara, if the cooking was a new hobby like he once claimed...

A flashback to dinner: Sasori ate the mushrooms on his plate!

"Wait wait waaait, mmm... wait...mmn ahm I yuhr unrekented ruv?"

Sasori didn't say a word and just stared at the mess of the blond. He had actually been watching the guy for awhile now as he downed the entire cake. The thing was gone now! He didn't even get to taste it, Deidara just ate and ate and ate without touching his coffee to help it go down. Cake was everywhere. Bits on the counter, on his hands face and shirt. Deidara was a mess!

"Um... So I take you liked the cake?" He asked, avoiding the question.

"It was delicious! More delicious than usual okay? Now answer the damn question! Do you love me!?"

Freezing up, Sasori had no idea how to handle this situation. He had done what the forum had said to avoid being the first one to admit their feelings. He wanted Deidara to fall in love with him, become depended on him, desire him. Not to become angry and demand a confession!

Maybe it was time to just be honest.

"Well, I like the man that's under all that cake."

"What!?" Deidara slammed his hands on the table as he stood up, noticing his hand landed in something sticky; cake. "Oh?"

He touched his face and felt the crumbs and looked down at both hands, in fact as he looked down he saw his messy shirt and the empty cake platter. "Did I do that?" He asked pointing to where his birthday cake was.

"Yes."

Deidara's face turned bright red and he quickly covered his filthy mouth. Getting up, he ran to the bathroom to clean up and ponder a moment on Sasori's words. There wasn't anymore cake to viciously eat while he thought about his neighbor.

Sasori liked him! He washed his face, using handfuls of waters as he scrubbed his mouth free of the cake. Sasori loved him! He had said it was unrequited love! Sasori had even learned to cook for him; a poor lowly college student with hardly enough money to feed himself after rent and utilities.

Gourmet meals at that. Delicious ones. And then Deidara went and got himself a girlfriend... oh how the hand that once washed his face changed as it now slammed into his forehead.

Deidara had thought it once and he would think it again, Sasori was a real catch of a man. Sasori had probably already caught on to why he was acting so weird when he ran off. Once he steps back out there, he'll be faced with Sasori's feelings. Smacking his lips, Deidara could still taste the sweet icing and the deep ganache that had coated his mouth. It was delicious, just like how the meal had been more delicious than usual.

"Okay! I'm back."

Sasori turned away from his dish washing, nervous for what was to come next. When Deidara was nervous he ate, when Sasori was nervous he cleaned. He needed to focus on Deidara now though.

"Are you okay? You ran out of here pretty fast. Are you sure the food was okay? You didn't get sick because of it did you?"

Deidara chuckled as Sasori still lingered on the topic of him actually liking the food.

"Sasori! Again, the food was delicious. In fact it was better than ever. Did you add a secret ingredient or something, un?"

"Only all my undying love for you..." is what Sasori would have liked to say. He didn't though.

"No nothing out of the ordinary. I'm glad you aren't sick from it. I really got worried there for a moment you were going to throw up."

Deidara laughed as he did run out of the room into the bathroom covering his mouth, "No! Just embarrassed I ate like such a pig. I swear I've never done anything like that before!" He covered and rubbed his face, "ugh, it was just so tasty and I was flustered and... ugh... Sasori Seriously dinner tonight was so good! Are you for certain you didn't at least add an extra cup of love in that cake or something?"

"C-cup... of love?"

Sasori poured the whole damn bag of love in that cake.

"Save it Sasori. I know you like me and that's okay!"

Oh Sasori wanted to die! He was certain they had managed to gloss over that bit just enough. Just enough to distract Deidara and move him to a new topic.

"Uhh..."

"Sasori to be honest, I'm really flattered."

"Are you... even gay?"

"Seriously? It's obvious I am. Bisexual actually, but male leaning."

Sasori was a little speechless. He assumed after watching Deidara turn Hidan down repeatedly, he was straight and Hidan was an idiot. The idiot status stands, but even Sasori knew the man was very attractive; he was rather smelly though. Really loud too. Then there was Deidara going a getting himself a girlfriend and all. Of course he'd think Deidara was straight!

Still, hearing that Deidara was gay and flattered-

"So, where do we go from here?" Sasori asked, stiff as a board.

Deidara scoffed, "I want to hear you admit your true feelings, un."

Appalled, "My true feelings!? I just spent hours pour my entire heart and soul into that last meal hoping to win your heart through your stomach! 'A cup of love'!? Bullshit! That was all I had in the pantry!"

"You done?"

Sasori huffed a moment. Deidara knew he had a bit of a short fuse, but Sasori didn't want to snap while confessionng his feelings. Actually quite the opposite! "Mm...nn..yeah."

Deidara grabbed Sasori face and squished his round cheeks vigorously, "That's explains why it was so delicious." He moved his face closer to his neighbors laughing, "I really really like the taste of your love, un. Maybe that's why I only like your cooking."

"Oh..."

Not giving Sasori much time to say anything else Deidara kissed the man on the lips, holding it there a moment until Sasori relaxed. Once he did, Deidara crammed his tongue in there, ruffling his fingers in the fluffy red locks. When he pulled away he smiled at the shocked expression he was given.
"Well?" he panted, "What did you think of my kiss?"

Well it sure wasn't what he was expecting.

Sasori licked his lips, "It was very.. sweet."

"Aww!"

"No really, it was. All I tasted was the icing from that cake." Sasori repeated, smacking his tongue around his mouth.

Deidara laughed and kissed the man once more when he was off guard, "It's the least I can do to share! Especially after being such a pig and eating it all."

Rolling his eyes, Sasori took a chance and kissed Deidara, "It was your birthday cake. It was my gift to you. You were supposed to eat it."

"Yeah but... but... butt..." Deidara turned around and looked at his ass, "Oh my god! My diet!"

Sasori sighed and grabbed Deidara's waist, pressing his lips right to his ear, "Relax. Your ass is fantastic." He whispered.

"Oh... Okay..."

"Deidara..."

"Un...?"

"So are we boyfriends now?" Sasori asked, still whispering in Deidara's ear.

Deidara snorted, "Yes. Yes we're boyfriend."

"Well, I'll be sure to keep you well fed forever!"

"Deal, un." Deidara laughed.

-x-

A couple years later, Sasori got started, early prepping his love and live in boyfriend a delightful valentines meal. Steak, seafood and a bed of green beans, topped with a delicious bearnaise sauce. Of course there would be a dessert- looking at the counter where he prepared something in particular for the evening...a rather fun and unconventional type of dessert was already set for tonight.

"Mmmm! Danna what smells soooo Delicious, un?" Deidara laughed, plopping himself down at a candlelit dinner, the fuss of an overly romantic Valentine's Day unwarranted as each meal prepared by Sasori was already fancy and sex was often also on the table.
It was a day like any other day, the only difference was Sasori got a bouquet of flowers when Deidara got home from work while Deidara got some damn fancy little chocolate bonbons to take with him.

"Just one of your many favorites." Sasori said, placing a well plated meal in front of his boyfriend, "Happy Valentines." He said briefly, kissing Deidara on the temple.

"Happy Valentines, Danna, un."

After Deidara was full of food and completely tuckered out by his boyfriend, Sasori hummed as he searched his good old online threads. There he saw a topic that caught his eye

"The way to a man's heart is his stomach?"

Clicking on it he read the dilemma of the anonymous poster, wondering if it were true. They had heard the old saying and was seriously inquiring about it.

Scorpion: It is true. It worked with my boyfriend. That boy isn't going anywhere.

Weasle: So if I become a good cook and feed them...then they'll fall in love with me?

Scorpion: Men can be easy to manipulate. Delicious makes them look past your bad qualities. Oh and if they leave you, they'll simply starve. Who knew the flavor of love was so addictive? So yes, the way to a man's heart is his stomach.

Ta daaaaa. happy b-day deidara! i extended to release date of the final chapter so sue meee.
I ended with v-day cause i missed v-day this year so why not blurb it. makes up for it? no? ok i'll do better next time.
BYE LOSERS