Blades
A/N: This chapter's mainly in Shadow's POV so warning for panic attacks and suicide rumination. Please leave a review.
The crowd was quiet as the spotlight shined on them. Shadow looked out at the crowd, steeling himself as their routine started. He skated in sync, caught Sandy during her twist lift, tried to ignore how quiet everyone was. The only sounds he focused on were his and Sandy's blades against the ice and the music. The same one his free skate was set to, stirring something within him. Longing? Sadness? Maybe fear?
A smattering of cheers erupted from the crowd during Sandy's death spiral. Shadow swallowed as the violins kicked in, performing his toe loop jump with practiced ease. After all, he didn't really have a place here anymore. He was just filling in until Static's injury healed. That's all.
He staggered for a moment, realizing the song was about to end and their last jump and lift were coming up. Shadow breathed, watching the crowd blur as he took off on his right foot, the ice meeting his left and not betraying him.
The piano petered out as he lifted Sandy above his head, setting her down as the song ended.
"We love you, Shadow!" one girl yelled as flowers and acorn plushes were thrown onto the ice.
"Welcome back," someone else, he later learned it was Static, yelled as others complimented Sandy.
He wasn't coming back, but just for a moment he could pretend he was. He skated to the edge of the rink, stiffing slightly as Mei hugged him.
"I'm proud of you," she said, moving to let him slip his blade covers on as Sandy went past him.
He sat beside her, fiddling with his water bottle.
"Never seen the crowd that quiet," Sandy said, nudging him. "Hope Static found a good seat."
"Yeah," Shadow mumbled, hoping he hadn't ruined their performance. It wouldn't be fair to Static or Sandy if he ruined something they worked so hard for. Currently, they were in second place on the score board and a little above the leading score.
"You wanna watch Nazo n Clara's skate? Static texted me where he was, so we can sit there." Sandy said, zipping her jacket and holding Shadow's out to him.
He took it from her, nodding in response as she stood and headed to the stands. Shadow sat in between Static and Fox, eyes following Nazo and Clara as they skated to some song he didn't recognize. It was nice up until Nazo took a light fall and suddenly the air felt colder to Shadow, too thin.
"Excuse me," he mumbled, moving past Static and Sandy to leave. He didn't hear either of them ask if he was okay and barely realized Mei had followed him until he was halfway to his car.
The air still felt thin, his throat was tight. Rune was standing next to him, licking his face to keep him awake as ambulance sirens got closer. Too many pain pills at once. Physical therapy and rehab and he was twenty-three again. He couldn't skate, he had failed. He was worthless.
"Shadow?" his step-mother asked. Like she had been calling him for a while and he didn't even know when he called her.
"Mom, I—." he stopped, gasping as he choked. He bit his tongue, trying to even his breathing.
"Do you want me to tell you about my day?" she asked.
He nodded, realized she couldn't see him and settled on some strained noise as confirmation. Elaine telling him about knitting club and asking about Rune was enough for now.