The Wood Orchid
Chapter 6: The Confession
The pink and scarlet morning light shined through the window upon her face as she lifted her head to take in her surroundings. The pounding in her head demanded the replacement of her head back to the pillow with closed eyes. Once the initial sharp pain subsided, her mind began recalling the sweet and enrapturing memories from the previous night. She sunk into bed further planning to revel in the memories longer, before realizing the other half of these memories was not to be found where she last remembered.
A bit perturbed but not yet worried, she began getting up, ignoring the returning, pounding pain permeating through her head. She walked over to the washbasin, pleasantly surprised and touched that it had been filled with warm water, hot enough to know it had been recently placed. He must have gotten up early enough to coax the sure to be up innkeeper for some heated water. Goodness knows his stoic charm, unbeknownst to him, could convince nearly anyone into favors.
Splashing water onto her face, changing into her simpler traveling dress, she made her way to the stable to check on the steeds. They were sure to be taken care of already by what she could tell, but she'd like to visit all the same.
Here suspicions were correct as she walked up to the stalls. The black and white horses were. Both munching away on alfalfa, Khan lifted his head to knicker an acknowledgement of his mistress before turning back to his much-earned meal. She entered the stall to brush him. She paused when she caught her reflection in the neighboring water trough, harkening back to a time that seemed so long ago where she was not able to find joy in the eyes reflected back at her. This time, her reflection gave her a confidence and peace no matter any uncertainty in her fate she felt.
Having been nearly everywhere she reasoned her travelling partner could be besides one, she travelled to the pub listening to the sounds of a village beginning to rise after a long and joyous night of celebrating.
Shang was found in their booth from the previous night, the only customer besides two other weary looking men in the opposite corner at tables that had been replaced where the musicians had been. His head was bowed over a steaming cup of what could presumed to be tea based on the pot and additional cup already on the table. As she slid into the booth, her leg brushing his, he stiffened as his frustratingly walled expression met her quiet, questioning, and hopeful face.
"Good morning," she said with a soft smile. "Thank you for the warm water; that was very kind of you."
He could not help the softening of his expression as he responded in a weary voice, "Of course. I had worried I woke you."
She jokingly rolled her eyes, flinching at the reminder of the encumbering headache at the action, "I don't think Ne Zha*(1) himself could have roused me."
He chuckled at this, "I remember your tardiness very well during training. I envied your ability to sleep in this morning when I woke."
"I wish I maintained the extent of my previous ability; your training has seemed to stick with me unfortunately," she responded in jest proceeding to pour herself a cup of what she could now tell to be green tea.
"Nowadays, I cannot sleep past the rooster's crow." The hot tea touched her lips with a zing of lemon and the addition of chamomile calmed the pounding headache that had persisting until then.
His attention went back to his tea, still barely touched. What followed was uncertain silence that would follow them through the day. She did not push the matter further and remained in the quiet moment to allow the tea to undo the after effects of the drink of choice from the previous night.
Huān flew out the kitchen in a bracingly jolly attitude for their current state of affairs. She held a tray with a plate of gyoza and bowls of a broth soup. Her morning greeting echoed by the two worse for wear travelers at her table, her smile unwavering.
"Good morning my dears, I hope you enjoyed yourselves last night! I have a little pick me up before you continue on your journey."
Mulan smiled at her, feeling better already, "Thank you, Huān. Your sister and you have been too kind to us. Thank you for the delicious food and drink."
Shang looked up from his brooding long enough to give a sincere nod in agreement.
Huān's bright smile softened, "Of course my dears. I will be honest, since the end of the war, my sister and I have done what we could to bring some ease to any soldiers that come our way."
For a quick moment, Shang and Mulan shared a small and panicked glance between each other.
The pub mistress slightly misinterpreted this action. "Oh you silly things… don't think you could fool this old lady," her glance landing on Shang, "I can spot a soldier's brooding look a mile away." A small wink was given in his direction before a melancholy look presented itself on her face. "My sister lost her husband to the war, as did I and my-" her voice broke for a moment as a practiced suppression of tears occurred in her eyes, "-my son has been declared missing in action. We both can't allow other soldiers to not be cared for to the best of our ability knowing karma may still be influencing my son's life."
"What is your son's name mistress Huān?" Shang asked almost suddenly.
"Yáng Hé^."
Shang looked into Yáng Huān's eyes, "I assure you, that I will do what I can to see you reunited with your son if possible," his statement came strong and determined.
Tears nearly threatening to spill, she thanked him. Mulan grasped Huān's hands in hers to comfort her before fiercely stating, "You are doing what you can to help him, to the best of your ability. Don't ever forget that, and don't ever let anyone allow you to believe it wrong to do anything and everything to protect the ones you love."
Shang eyed her from the corners of his eyes, reminded of his words to her the previous night, conflicting emotions swelling beneath the surface.
With a kiss to Mulan's hand in thanks, Huān made her excuses to return to the kitchen before turning away before a tear could be seen falling down her plump, typically jovial cheeks.
They both turned to the food in an unspoken agreement to enjoy the breakfast in a contemplative silence.
He had finished meal in a typical efficient manner befitting the soldier he was born to be. He excused himself with a quick nod to her and encouraging her to finish at her leasure. Wanting to be helpful but knowing he needed some space, she did just as he suggested before getting up to leave herself a fair amount of minutes after he left.
She was able to catch Huān as she was leaving the kitchen to attend to customers that had recently entered. Mulan hugged her in thanks before Huān let Mulan depart from her bear hug and the words, "I have never seen a man look at a woman as your husband does to you. You two might truly have the blessing of Nu-Gua." With a kiss on Mulan's cheek, she released her to follow her supposed husband out the door.
Mulan's butterflies returned with a vengeance as she wandered to the stables, reminiscing over the moments of the previous nights. She sighed, recalling the way he had held her, igniting a fire she did not know she had until then. She could almost taste the flavor of peaches that had lingered on his lips as they lost themselves in each other in that secluded corner, her heart racing over the memory of nearly dancing all night, the feelings of-
She abruptly realized she was already at the stable when Shang looked up from his work of tying down the travel packs to the saddles with a curious glance. She blushed in the realization she had come upon him only to stare off into space in his direction.
"You have been doing really too much work now." she hurriedly tried to cover with, attempting to take over the task for him. He gently batted her hands away, the task already been completed, before lifting her unnecessarily onto her saddle. He mounted his own steed before responding.
"It is not an issue, I just simply am treating you as the lady you are meant to be betraying." His reply came stiffly as he lead the way to begin the next leg of their journey.
Furrowing her brows, she let this slightly confusing comment slide as they worked their way to exiting the city by heading north. She allowed the silence to persist as it was more sensible to ride single file through the streets. However, when the silence persisted despite a few hours traveling outside the city, well after any fellow travelers lingered on the road near them and she was riding by his side, she finally let out a discontented huff of breath. The forward facing, almost statuesque composure he had been maintaining broke as he glance over to meet her piercing and accusatory stare.
When his eyes met hers, she huffed again in frustration before stirring Khan into a trot, leaving Shang no choice but to do the same with Lixue and follow her to a nearby brook that branched off the Minjiang River. She dismounted quickly before he had even caught up and led Khan to take a drink. Shang mirrored her actions, allowing his mare some reprieve of water.
Digging through her saddlebags, she tossed a sack of jerky to him before munching on her own, not taking her eyes off the babbling water.
"I thought-," she started, "I thought that we had reached a point of comfortability where you could talk to me…" she trailed off not sure how to finish stating her query.
His eyes flashed up, to her, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Oh we reached a point of comfortability alright," he snapped, "One where lines were crossed and actions were not honorable."
Now it was her turn to snap, "Not honorable? You wouldn't allow yourself to be dishonorable even if you had every chance in the world at happiness with no threat of repercussions and no one around to judge your actions! Why must everything be run under the realm of honor with you? Why can you not act on feeling rather than duty?! Why must the ones who love you suffer from your lack of feeling simply for the fact you can't discern what you want to do is not always different from what you should do?!" Seeing his still piercing gaze on her, seemingly unmoved by her statement, she let out a grunt of frustration before shoving the dried meat back in the saddle bag, quickly mounting her horse in what could be considered less than womanly movements, and riding on the path before them.
He followed in sullen silence, his eyes flicking in frustrated thought from the back of her head to the road ahead of them as he allowed her to lead the two of them forward without any further conversation for the next, long stretching hours. Yet again, the two traveled in silence.
It was the early evening when the sun was beginning it's final descent towards the earth, coaxing the moon to chase it around the world, yet again. The ever persisting presence of Yin and Yang through the gift left by Pangu*(2).
The landscape had begin swooping into slightly hillier terrain where they came across a lake that was to be circumnavigated. As it was nearing the end of the day, the ragged travelers were hungry and thirsty, as were their horses, from the stubborn and tepid silence that lasted that rest of the afternoon after the last words they had spoken to each other.
Mulan's stomach growled in defiance of her stubbornness to stop, leading her to stop the top of a slight slope with a large oak tree shading over the sloping ground leading towards the lake. It appeared they were not first nor would they be the last to make camp here near the lake just off this well-traveled road. She silently took Shang's horse after he had dismounted as they moved into their unspoken comfortability of routines and roles already established where one would care for the horses while the other would begin preparations for a fire.
While the horses drank their fill, she pulled fishing line and a hook she always kept in her saddlebags. After scrounging the land around her quickly enough, recovering worms for bait, it did not take too long for her to be blessed with two fairly decent sized fish for a promise of a warm supper, "Assuming he's already got a fire going…" she grumbled to herself returning to camp. She made quick work of scaling and filleting the fish with practice she had learned during her childhood, no need to look up from her work. As she was prepping the meat, Shang had managed to build a very stable and strong fire after gathering enough firewood for the night. He had just finished the fire preparations when she lithely stepped across the camp before handing the fish to him without looking and saying, "I'll be right back."
Meaning to get some space for a little bit of time while he finished the fire duties and began setting up camp. When she handed him the fish however, he grabbed her wrist gently encouraging her to look him in the eyes as he stated, hesitantly, "Don't go too far, okay?"
A little thrown off by his sincerity that was in contrast to his early stubborn, ox-headedness, it was all she could do to blink before being released by him and he continued to work.
She walked off in a bit of a confused stupor, struck by the apparent concern he portrayed to her, causing her to lean against a tree not too far from the camp but far enough where she could observe him from behind as he cooked the fish over the fire. She didn't know what to make of this man. She just know she was confused on how to act and what to say despite the roiling feelings in her chest that could seemingly, not be diminished. As the fish cooked, he was able to begin setting up one tent, sure to be needed to fend off the chill of an early spring night. She could not help herself as she admired the way he moved, his muscular body more clear to her from this distance due to their encounters from the previous night.
She could not think of too much or too deeply as she simply took that moment to watch him work with a skill and determination that always seemed to be present whenever he set his mind to anything. A girl could think that there was a possibility that he could set that skill and determination to pursue anything he wished; but a girl could not presume too much of his feelings.
A firm, "Ready!" reached her ears to break her of her trance as he pulled the fish off of the fire. She walked back behind him, again passing him to reach the opposite side of the fire where she settled after retrieving her share and handing over some berries she had managed to scavenge before getting lost in thought. A silence was still shared between them though it did not carry the air of hostility as before.
Again, he finished his portion first. He threw a few more sticks of wood on the fire before contentedly sitting back to stare into the fire contemplatively, his gaze finding her every other moment. She ignored this, finished her portion and went to retrieve the sleeping pallets from their bags. He came up to reach for his as she was untying it, his arms reaching around her to take her hands down, turned her around and faced her towards him. His hands lifted her face towards his own only to find a fierce glare to greet his sorrowful eyes.
"Mulan…" He began hesitantly, "You have done something to me that I cannot understand which causes me to fight my learned nature and challenges the methods and standards to which I was raised with. I do not know how to proceed and navigate these emotions I'm unfamiliar with and still maintain the plan instilled in me throughout my life. It leaves me confused. I do not know what to do, and it is leaving me at a loss. What I do know is that I do not like to see you in pain, sad, or upset with anything or anyone, especially me. Please forgive my words form earlier. I spoke out of a sense of duty; it is all I have known until I met you."
Her fierce gaze did not falter as he spoke his confession but her heart was softening, grateful for the return to the intimacy and closeness with him that she had come to crave. Her glare seemingly caused him more grief, apparent in the increasingly worried look he displayed. When she felt he had endured the appropriate amount of suspense, she softened her gaze, her hands laying over his taking them down from her face to hold them in between them before encircling her own arms around him. The comfort of his strong arms back around her warmed her heart and body.
Her muffled voice traveled from his chest, "I'm lost on what path to take as well, please don't forget that." Her words were met with his lips gently resting on the top of her head before she continued, "We have been through great and unconventional circumstances together. Duty can only get us so far but I am not," she lifted her head to look at his face, "willing to sacrifice something that brings me so much more comfort and happiness than I ever though I could find simply for the sense of duty that is put upon us by the whims of the society we live in. Are you?"
Her question was answered with an ambiguous, "I do not believe so." Coming from a duty bound soldier, raised from birth to remain loyal to his duty, that answer was more than she hoped for from him.
She took the initiative and lifted her head so that she could place her lips on his as he sunk into her kiss. The kiss started out gentle but deepened to where the actions of the two humans disrupted the white mare's personal space a bit too much for her liking leading to her stepping forward. Mulan had been leaning on her more than she realized and fell back with a surprised motion, pulling Shang down where he quickly caught her with one arm while rolling them over with the other to soften the landing. She landed on top of him looking down at his face. She could not help the girlish giggle before burying her face in his chest to hide the rest of the laughter. She could feel rather than hear a soft chuckle from his chest before he sat up, allowing her to remain laying down, and her head resting on his lap as he gazed down at her. She stared back up at him as they shared in an easy silence, letting their eyes make up for both of their stubbornness from today. He leaned down and she obliged as his lips met hers yet again, deepening when he cradled her head for support, pulling her further up in the process as her arms coaxingly wrapped around his neck. When they parted, with another long stare before they both turned their gaze to the sun that was nearly touching the horizon now.
The sinking light engulfed the forest around them bouncing off the surface of the lake, as they allowed themselves to enjoy the moment of non-contemplating peace. When the sun was nearly completely gone, and Mulan had fallen into a gentle slumber. Shang stared down at her in admiration as the pink and scarlet light of dusk hit her face before disappearing, giving way to the deep violet of the night sky, the glittering stars beginning their watch over them.
Disclaimer: The author does not own the motion picture "Mulan" or any of its characters. This story is written for creative purposes only; there is no monetary benefit. Any historical or religious references used are implemented with creative licensing and no disrespect to any culture or religion is intended.
Author's Note:
If you have read this story before, please feel free to reread the previous chapters as I have ironed out a few minor plot holes and made a few adjustments. Nothing major or significant was changed and you can survive not rereading the chapters; I just made some logistical adjustments, such as weather. It is absolutely amazing the amount of errors you catch when you give your work a proper read over and make edits with paper and pen! From here on out, I need to withhold myself from instinctively posting a chapter when it is done before properly reviewing. I just get so excited to share when I am done!
I experienced quite the writer's block due to my last chapter taking on a life of its own and writing myself into a direction I did not plan on initially. Even when writing this chapter, I found the story running away from some of the things I had initially planned.
In addition, historical notes and name meanings have been added to chapters and one long Author's Note has been added to the first chapter.
*Historical Notes:
(1) Ne Zha is a Chinese deity with a magical item, the Cosmic Wheel, that is believed to causing raging earthquakes and tsumanmis. – Shenyunperformingarts(.org)/learn/article/read/item/1Puo-xmwOG8/ne-zha-child-deity-of-chinese-mythology
(2) The Pangu reference has been based off of a story within the Chinese Mythology Creation Story. The video is called Chinese Mythology Creation Story Explained in Animation by Captivating History and is very well done; I encourage you to watch the whole thing. youtube(.com)/watch?v=G7vget_QAmo&list=PLClQLLlGtgfedL2N_3uS43iKZaYljSAdC&index=8&t=0s
^Name Meanings:
Yáng 洋 Hé 河 – (ocean), (river, stream)