Nick and Judy sat down together at a table in an ice cream parlor. Judy had a small bowl of cookies and cream, and Nick had a similarly-sized bowl of peanut butter flavor. The two were on a date, both had agreed previously to the term, just so it was clear. Both felt somewhat apprehensive; as it would be their first date out in the open as a predator-prey couple, but they decided to go for it.
Nick gave a shifty look back and forth before starting on his ice cream.
"Worried about the evil eye already?" Judy wondered, happily taking up a spoonful of ice cream. Nick shook his head and leaned in a bit.
"Fluff, do you ever think about... cows?" His voice sounded completely serious.
"Pfffk!" Judy slapped a paw over her face to keep from bursting out laughing. She took a few seconds to compose herself, giggling into her hand. "Nick, making me laugh isn't a great way to avoid drawing attention to ourselves."
"I'm serious, Judy," Nick poked at his ice cream, his face still mostly expressionless. "Do you ever think about them?"
"Uh," Judy rolled her eyes back as if to search on the ceiling for the answer. "Well, I think about them when I'm dealing with them? But other than that, no, I suppose I don't think I've spent any serious time ruminating about cows." Judy had an amused look.
"You don't think it's weird? The dairy industry, I mean?" Nick took another small bite of ice cream. "More than ninety percent of all milk used in dairy products comes from cows."
Judy held her spoon out towards Nick and shrugged her shoulders. "Cows give more plentiful milk than any other mammal. That's one of the things that sets them apart."
"That just seems like kind of an, I dunno, undignified job to me," the bottom of Nick's eyelids came up. "Being milked."
"It's not that weird, Nick, come on," Judy rolled her eyes. "Look, cows can choose whether or not they want to go into dairy, can't they? They aren't forced to. Some even do that and something else at once! Easy money for them."
"But they're encouraged to go into dairy," Nick retorted, "because it's what they're good at."
"I mean, I guess I can see that, but bunnies are encouraged to be farmers," Judy shrugged again. "Are you saying that it's somehow wrong to want to be a dairy cow?"
"No, no," Nick shook his head. "I suppose not. It just strikes me as bizarre, that's all."
"To me, it's a rather noble profession!" Judy shut her eyes and wiggled her head. "Where would we be without dairy products? Milk, cheese, oh, and chocolate, too!"
"Canids can't have chocolate," Nick frowned. "Shame, I hear it's really good."
"Oh, bunnies can't have chocolate either," Judy gave a disappointed sigh. "Everyone I've heard from who's had it tells me it's amazing..."
"The forbidden dairy product," Nick said in a playful, ominous tone. He shook his head, giving an amused chuckle. "I want to know what sicko mammal decided to keep drinking milk past when they were a kit. They're the one that started this whole mess."
"You know, I actually read about that!" Judy looked up at the ceiling, pointing her spoon at Nick. "Geneticists say that mammals all began developing a mutation that allows us to continue processing dairy past our infancy. They said it was after we rose to sapience, something like a thousand years after?"
"Huh, so nature itself wants us to enjoy dairy?" Nick cocked an eyebrow. "That's kind of weird."
"Heavens above," Judy clasped her paws together in supplication and closed her eyes. "Thank you for this wonderful gift of ice cream you have bestowed upon us. Truly, every day, we will thank you for your divine gift of the bovine."
Nick failed to keep himself from laughing. "Okay, Carrots. Don't get too spiritual on me, now."
"Amen!" Judy exulted, diving her face into the ice cream bowl and attacking her treat. "Ahm num num num!"
"Carrots..." Nick groaned. "Jeez, you're just like a kit sometimes."
"I'm endearing and you know it," Judy said, lifting her head up, which now had ice cream all over her cheeks.
"Endearing, if not dignified," Nick shook his head. Judy started licking up the ice cream from her face, but her small lapine tongue didn't reach all the way to the edges of her cheeks.
"Carrots, is that really how tiny your tongue is?" Nick gave a pitying look. "You don't have a tongue made for ice cream diving."
"Well, hand me a napkin, then," Judy chuckled, trying to get at the ice cream with her tongue and making quite objectively ridiculous faces while doing so.
"I didn't bring any to the table," Nick explained in a harried voice, "because eating ice cream with a spoon doesn't usually cause a catastrophic mess!"
"I guess I can use my arm or something," Judy giggled.
"Ugh, Carrots! Hold still," Nick leaned over and lashed each of her cheeks once with his broad vulpine tongue. She was free of ice cream cheeks. "There!" Nick sat back and then read Judy's wide-eyed expression and his own face quickly mirrored that. The two looked around at the other patrons. "Did anyone see that...?"
"Don't think so," Judy giggled.
"I... I licked you. In public," Nick groaned, putting his head in his hands.
"You licked me in public," Judy agreed, giving a tiny nervous chuckle through her teeth.
"Oh God," Nick rubbed at his temples. "Speaking of undignified."
"Oh, it's all right, fox," Judy said reprovingly. "We're adults, we can make our own ludicrous decisions."
"Thankfully, there aren't any other canids here," Nick kept looking guiltily around, "licking someone in public is a display of affection at best and indecent at worst."
"Stop worrying, Nick!" Judy pursued. "You're not going to be able to enjoy life if you're so uptight about being a proper, dignified animal or whatever's got you so uptight!"
"It's just because I don't want animals, especially prey, to see me as base, or worse yet, 'savage'," Nick winced.
"Oh uh, is that my fault again then?" Judy cringed, using a tiny voice.
"No no, Judy, no," Nick shook his head vigorously. "I've always been like that. You know, gotta take a scam artist seriously if you're gonna buy anything from 'em."
"Ah, right," Judy laughed. "Anyway, just let loose once in awhile! Indulge in those canid instincts or whatever. It'll probably be good for you!"
"Am I really hearing this from the bunny who was about ready to jump out of her fur at Mystic Springs?" Nick lolled his head at her.
"That's different," Judy said matter-of-factly, "being naked around a bunch of strangers is weird."
"Okay, you're the boss," Nick rolled his eyes. "I think I'll save whatever 'canid cravings' I get for somewhere private, though."
"Ooh, I like the sound of that," Judy laughed. She raised her ice cream dish up. "To being undignified!"
"Yeah, whatever," Nick gave a single chuckle, clinking his dish with hers.