Thank you for your interest in this story! I honestly did not expect this kind of reception for what was originally a one-shot.
Sasuke's circumstances were a result of humanity's sins and actions. In the Bible, God sent his son to die for humanity's sins. In this story, Sasuke makes it his mission to walk the earth as Jesus Christ, because it's in his character to be the reckless one out there doing things on the front line while he lets Naruto deal with the consequences. Jesus' death was a way for Sasuke to implore humanity to live life following a set of values and virtues, ultimately leading to the formation of the faith of Christianity. Jesus 'death was necessary for humans to understand just how far Jesus would go to grant them salvation, but Sasuke could not allow himself to die as Naruto would die too, so he sealed himself away within the Longinus to prevent Naruto's death.
To everyone wondering if Sasuke will return – he will, but even I don't know when that will be. He is a support, Naruto is still the main character.
And yes, Sasuke had a beard while he lived as Jesus.
*25 October, 2018: This chapter was edited as I did not like how I wrote this the first time round.
I was trying to limit some of Naruto's combat prowess when I realized I did not need to. This Naruto is not an arrogant pub-stomper who will crush everyone who dares stand in his way. If that is what you are interested in, I recommend reading the stories written by The Omnipresent Sage, who in my opinion is the best writer of all-powerful Naruto stories.
The summary is much more indicative of this Naruto. He carries the burden of being God - the word burden implying that he doesn't want to be God. He is goofy, lazy, and doesn't take fights seriously, and procrastinates a lot. If this does not interest you, then I thank you for your time invested into reading the first two chapters of my hobby and for the feedback you have given me. If it does, then I hope you enjoy the rest of Naruto's journey!
P.S. I also took out the part where he wields Wado Ichimonji. It was just a silly obsession of mine with a cool-sounding sword name.
A hand slammed a glass on the bar top, the whiskey swirling from the force of impact. The hand gripping it was unblemished and flawless, despite the fights and years its owner has experienced. The forearm it attached to was tattooed with foreign inscriptions and runes of power that no one in Victorian England understood. The man dressed head to toe in black – his hate which sat atop a head of unkempt blond hair, his simple button-up shirt, his form fitting trousers, and his shining leather shoes. Draped on his stool, however, was a burnt orange waistcoat and tie. It was an eccentric color that only the most eccentric man in history would don, but damn did he make orange look sexy. London was an eccentric city anyway, no one batted an eyelid at him. He sat, unnoticed, eyeing his next target for the night.
That was, until a mountain of a man with black hair and violet eyes clamped down on his shoulder. He was dressed ornately, far too luxurious to be a man who frequented the seedy bars of London's underbelly. In fact, if any other person were to venture out during late nights, they would have been targets of muggings and robberies. The crooks in the bar stayed away from him though, as he exuded an aura of impenetrability. His face was lined with few wrinkles and was set in a stern expression as he gazed at the man who had yet to acknowledge him. Zekram Bael signaled the barkeep with a single raised eyebrow and ordered a glass of whiskey himself.
Naruto sighed as Zekram pulled the chair out next to his and sat down, the chair audibly groaning from the weight it was suddenly supporting. "What do you want?" He was always straight to the point, just like how Zekram liked it.
"It has been a while since we've shared a drink, druid. Tell me, how has life in London been treating you?" Zekram began courteously. He was no barbarian, he was the Great King of the Underworld and he had to maintain his image, no matter how difficult it was whenever he drank with the eccentric man by his side.
Ah, yes. That was what people like Naruto were called. Humans capable of harnessing the power of nature without succumbing to madness. There had been few extraordinary individuals in the past who communed with nature to accomplish great feats and left their marks on history, though not always for the better. Attila the Hun was the first human driven mad by the power of senjutsu. Then, came the Mongol Temujin, who later became known as Genghis Khan. Two of the bloodiest warlords in history until Naruto struck them down. Siddartha Gautama was another man who connected with nature, but he ended up ascending to become a Buddha.
Naruto took another swig of his whiskey. "Well, Zekram, since you finally decided to separate from Kyurem, I'll indulge you a bit." He quipped.
"… I beg your pardon? I don't know a Kyurem nor was I married to this woman." Zekrom – I mean Zekram, replied with a confused expression.
"It doesn't matter Zeke. You'll understand in a century or two."
A vein bulged on Zekram's forehead. "I told you not to call me that name." He ground through clenched teeth.
"Why not, Zeke?" Zekram was beginning to lose his composure. "It's a cute name."
"I am the Great King of the Underworld, I am not cute!" Zekram was seething at this point.
"Ya hear that, Jimmy? He's the Great King of the Underworld." Naruto addressed the barkeep.
"Sure did, Jack. And I bet you're the bravest captain of the seven seas."
"ENOUGH!" Zekram snapped. "I'm here for information, Naruto, and I will not let you side track this conversation like so many times before."
"You're no fun, Zeke. Very well." Naruto took one last sip from his glass before he turned to the devil. He buttoned his waistcoat and fastened his tie. "I'll say it again, what do you want?"
"I need to know where all the strays you've been killing are coming from."
Naruto raised a brow. "You know?" He thought he was pretty covert when it came to his 'serial killing' as the papers put it.
"Of course, Naruto. Or would you prefer I call you Jack the Ripper?"
He waved the name off. "That's just a name the press made up to sell more stories. I'm still Naruto. Well, except to Jimmy here. He's the only person who calls me Jack." He grinned under the shadow of his fedora.
"Normally I would send a servant to investigate this, but this is truly troubling. The Underworld hasn't seen this many strays congregating in one area. We are worried the Old Satan Faction might be behind this." Zekram folded his arms across his chest. "I needed to come talk to you myself."
"I'll let you know once I've tracked down the culprit," Naruto patted his friend on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I've killed eighteen strays so far and I've found a common link between all of them."
Zekram wondered what clue Naruto was hinting at, before it hit him. "Their organs?"
"Yep," Naruto nodded. "I didn't cut them out. Each one of the strays were already missing an organ before I killed them. The organs were corroded away by chemicals."
Like Zekram said, Naruto was the serial killer printed in the papers known as Jack the Ripper, even if the public didn't know it. No one suspected the charming charismatic young man who delivered papers in the morning to be a ruthless killing machine, capable of efficient murder with the precision of a surgeon. In truth, the women that Naruto killed were all stray devils that started emerging in London a few months before he decided to investigate the matter. A few humans had fallen victim to the strays, but those who frequented Whitechapel were not virtuous men and women so he wasn't too perturbed about their deaths.
Naruto had dissected the bodies of the strays as a last resort to find out where they were coming from as he could not sense the power of evil pieces within the women. It was mere coincidence and desperation which allowed him to discover that the strays were being chemically reincarnated into devils, but without the power of an evil piece stabilising the change process, they were turned into strays. Naruto knew only one laboratory in London which could possibly produce the chemicals he found left in the bodies of the stray devils and he was ready to smite them down. Whoever it was behind this heinous crime against nature would feel the wrath of God.
Naruto paid Jimmy for the whiskey he had before getting up from his barstool. As he turned, Zekram grabbed his arm, right where his tattoos were inked. The devil eyed the inscriptions with an analytic gaze, trying his best to decipher the functions of the runes but only managing to understand one command: contain. "You're still keeping your power under wraps? Do you know how hard it was to track you down when you're doing that?" He asked irritably.
Nodding, Naruto's hat shadowed his eyes. "I have my reasons." With that, he turned and walked towards the exit of the bar.
"By the way, the Old Satan Faction is probably not involved, so you can go back to whatever Pokeball you crawled out of."
"Screw you Naruto, you keep bringing up these Pokeballs and I still have no clue what you're talking about."
As Naruto was an immortal who had lived and trained for eons, his chakra never stopped developing, to a point where his body could no longer contain his chakra and he would unconsciously release it into the surroundings. The leaked chakra would leave a trail wherever he went, making it a simple task to track him or detect his approach. It was the biggest problem Naruto faced as he needed stealth and anonymity much more than firepower right now. It wasn't time for God to reveal himself to the world. Thankfully, his solution lied in the mystic art the Toads had taught him – senjutsu. As long as natural chakra circulated through his pathways, he essentially blended in with nature, and how could one sense nature when nature was omnipresent and always enveloping everything in the world? All he had to do was remain in sage mode indefinitely, but it was difficult to do so alone, so the bijuu agreed to be sealed within him again. Much like when Kurama had helped him gather senjutsu when Naruto was moving, the other bijuu would also do it for him, taking turns when doing so. The bijuu did not all fit in the seal intended for Kurama, however, thus he had to expand the seal to encompass his torso and original arm, as for some reason he could not extend the seal to the arm made from Hashirama's cells. He had remained in sage mode for so long that senjutsu no longer changed his eyes into those of the toads'.
It had been a solution at first, but as time passed and wars between factions, races and nations began, the bloodshed and conflict tainted the ambient natural chakra of Earth. As one half of the creators of the universe – especially the one who mastered senjutsu, Naruto's chakra influenced the natural energy which resided in the world. Unfortunately, the natural energy in the world influenced Naruto's chakra in a similar manner since he was constantly in sage mode. Naruto made it an effort to purify nature chakra as much as he could and had actually started to make progress in parts of the Caucasus region, until two decades ago in the 1870s the industrial revolution brought forth a wave of deforestation and pollution which further twisted natural energy. The taint was so potent that it hindered some of the combative uses of senjutsu.
Though his chakra was far from corrupt, he had found himself in a similar situation to Rock Lee, where moulding natural chakra into ninjutsu would feel as if his body was ripping itself apart. It was only thanks to his body having adapted to the corrosive nature of bijuu chakra that he could still utilise a few techniques, though the more destructive ones like the Rasenshuriken caused him a great amount of pain. Still, by no means was he weak, as he was still capable of using his own chakra and senjutsu still reinforced his body.
Stepping onto the street, Naruto kept his right hand on his hat as he made his way through the bustling crowd of London to his destination, ignoring the droplets of rain. It was always raining in London, as if God was weeping for all those who suffered injustice in this socially divided city. "It makes me sick," he thought to himself.
England proudly announced itself a Christian nation, yet the Anglican church stood idle as the nobles and aristocrats employed children as young as five for manual labor. What made his blood really boil was those same nobles would abuse the children at work during the day, and by night they would be praying to God for prosperity and fortune. Having not been in the seventh level of Heaven in over a thousand years, Naruto had not heard prayers for just as long, as Michael was the one who now governed the God System. Yet, the prayers from those who were truly desperate would manage to reach him, and London was the loudest city in Naruto's opinion.
In fact, the laboratory he now stood in front was where one of the largest nests of suffering was located. Naruto fought back the urge to regurgitate his whiskey and dinner as his ability to sense negative emotions went haywire from the amount of despair centered in this building. It was a plain, unassuming two-story complex built with grey bricks, with no windows and only one entrance. Breaking in was impossible, but Naruto was seriously contemplating just blasting the wretched place to smithereens.
He stepped up to the door and twisted the handle. It was unlocked. Naruto scoured the entire laboratory but was unsuccessful in finding anything related to the stray devils, though he'd been in enough of Orochimaru's labs to know that there was always a secret basement as evil scientists could not get enough of that trope. Lo and behold, Naruto found a trap door hidden in a cabinet. The moment he lifted the trap door, he was bombarded by the earlier wave of despair and suffering. Holding back a choke, he descended.
Naruto was convinced that the scientist, whoever they were – were more twisted than Orochimaru ever was. He skulked through the laboratory, watching as women were suspended in tanks of purple fluid, while tubes transfused chemicals from large vats into the veins of the victims. He had taken a curious glance into what was in the vats and could not hold back his vomit as it was flesh, being churned into a pasty fluid. It was unmistakably devil flesh. This scientist was mincing devils and grafting them straight into humans. Naruto, unable to process the barbaric experiments, shut his mind down and simply stalked onward, with only one goal in mind: kill the bastard who could come up with something so twisted.
He eventually reached a dimly lit operation room, where the scientist in question was dissecting something. Naruto couldn't make out what it was from behind the sick man, but he honestly didn't care at that moment. The man was wearing the outfit of a medieval plague doctor, complete with the beaked mask and all black robe. His facial features were obscured, but it didn't matter to Naruto. In the end, this man would die.
The doctor turned, a look of deranged madness in his eyes. "I did not expect anyone to be able to track me down, but if anyone could do it, it would be Jack the Ripper," the insane doctor raised his scalpel, pointing it at Naruto's direction. "I do not appreciate you slaughtering my experiments."
Naruto said nothing at first. He had told himself he would not indulge in conversation with this abomination, but he was curious. "Who… or what are you? And why did you do this?" His tone left no room for argument. It was the voice of a ruler who demanded answers from his subjects.
"Me? Oh, I'm human. You may not believe me, but I am human. I was a scientist, you see. Quite a celebrated one at some point. You may have heard of me. My name is Thomas Midgley, and I would have won the Nobel prize if it wasn't for that damned woman." Midgley paused, tapping his scalpel against his temple, his pupils shrunk in unrestrained anger. "Marie Curie, she is the reason for my fall from scientific greatness! The world believes radiation to be a problem to humans, well I will show them that the world of supernaturals are much more of a threat to humans than some radiation ever will be!"
"…You are one fucked up son of a bitch, you know that?" Naruto responded. He had no sympathy for someone who went mad simply because they had their thunder stolen. "I was expecting some sob story in which you were tortured by devils and want to get revenge against them, but you're more messed up than I thought."
"It matters not what you think, Ripper. What matters is how you will meet your end," as Midgley finished his sentence, purple wisps wafted off the tip of his scalpel. "Shadow Prison!"
Purple tendrils exploded from underneath Midgley, surging towards Naruto. The shinobi raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Hoh? So, you have a sacred gear, and it's one of Vritra's too. That's how you managed to kill the devils you turned into minced meat."
He ducked under the first tendril aiming for his neck before he had to weave through an onslaught of shadowy spears. Shadow Prison was a Sacred Gear mainly used to restrict the movement of its wielders foes, though this man had formed the tendrils of Vritra's shadow into spears as sharp as his scalpel. It wasn't threatening to Naruto, though, who knew the weakness of the gear as he had created it. Dashing towards a medical tray holding a dozen more scalpels, Naruto launched them at the many pipes which carried gas throughout the laboratory, before clicking his teeth hard, creating a spark. The room was set alight as the gas burned bright, illuminating the shadows and forcing Shadow Prison to disperse.
"Your Sacred Gear is very easily countered. Shadows cannot exist where there is light. That's why your laboratory has no windows and is dimly lit, isn't it?" Naruto asked rhetorically. He stepped towards Midgley, who had backed up in fear now that Shadow Prison could not be used.
"Stay back! Don't hurt me!" The scientist pleaded. Naruto made no move to stop his advance.
"Did you stop hurting those women when they asked you to?" He replied. He raised his hand, clutching a scalpel, ready to drive the surgical knife into the trembling doctor's throat, before Midgley's fist lit up with purple flames.
"Just kidding." Midgley's fist impacted hard against Naruto's chest, who was blown back from the force of the scientist's punch. "You made the same mistake all those devils made, assuming I only had one of Vritra's Sacred Gears when in reality I have two!" He cackled madly, thinking Naruto was down for good. Until he heard a groan.
"Blaze Black Flare as well? How is someone like you blessed with two Sacred Gears?" Naruto stood, his hand covering his chest. "Shit, you burned a hole in my favorite waistcoat. Do you know how difficult it is to find an orange waistcoat, asshole?"
Midgley snarled. "You're quite durable, aren't you? To take a direct hit from Blaze Black Flare and stand right back up is quite commendable." Naruto merely shrugged in response.
"I've taken hits from people way stronger than you, do your worst."
Blaze Black Flare engulfed Midgley's form, a flaming revenant intent on killing his opponent and exposing the supernatural to humans. "I plan on doing a lot more than my worst."
The mad scientist closed the distance between them in an instant, surprising Naruto, who had not expected such speed from a scientist. Midgley's flaming fist veered towards Naruto's cheek, forcing the shinobi to bend backwards. He had dodged the strike but still felt the heat from Midgley's flames and even had soot on his nose. Why Sasuke thought it would be a good idea to give some dragons Enton (Blaze Release) was a mystery to him. His leg lashed out in retaliation, kicking Midgley away from him but burning his leather shoes in the process.
"Oh, for fuck's sake. I'm gonna have to drop by Kingsman Tailoring later on." Naruto lamented on the loss of his shoes.
Midgley recovered from the kick, his flames having protected him from most of the impact. He gathered Blaze Black Flare in one hand before slinging a wave of purple flames in Naruto's direction. With no room to evade the tsunami of toned-down Amaterasu, Naruto bit his thumb and swiped the blood across one of the inscriptions on his arm. Midgley could not see what Naruto drew from the seal, but one second he was convinced his opponent would be reduced to ashes, and the next his flames had been split in half, crashing harmlessly next to both sides of Naruto.
In his opponent's left hand was a a simple kunai, Naruto's favorite tool. Unperturbed by his enemy now wielding a blade, Midgley once again flooded the operation room with Blaze Black Flare, only for Naruto to cut the flames apart. Midgley choked, unable to fathom that a tiny dagger could cut through the flames of Vritra the Prison Dragon.
"That blade is capable of cutting through my flames? Is it a Sacred Gear?" The scientist asked. Naruto chuckled in response.
"Not even close. A friend of mine, an idiotic swordsman with the sense of direction of an onion, once imparted me with some wisdom. He was a simple man who wielded simple swords. They had no special power, but he could cut through anything. He said it all depended on the swordsman's resolve to cut. I don't need an overpowered tool like a Sacred Gear to deal with scum like of you."
Naruto gripped his kunai, hard, and swiped the space in front of him. In a split second, he unleashed his resolve to cut down his opponent, and sliced through Midgley and the basement they were in. He watched as Blaze Black Flare receded back into its wielder, before two purple orbs emerged from the dead scientist and soared through the ceiling, knowing that the Sacred Gears were returning to the God System and awaiting to reincarnate in their next wielders. Having slashed apart the foundation holding up the basement and the laboratory above, Naruto turned and made his exit, satisfied that the twisted doctor would no longer bring harm to the people of London.
A glint caught his eye before he could leave. An unexplored part of the basement which Naruto missed earlier. It was a wooden crib with the name Thomas engraved on it. There, in the crib, laid an infant who slept soundly through the rumblings of a collapsing building. With no time to spare, Naruto snatched the baby and made a swift escape from the cave-in. He emerged back onto the streets of London as the laboratory sunk into its foundation. He looked down at the tiny human being in his arms.
"Children should not bear punishment for the sins of their parents. This baby is innocent." But he could not care for a child. His lifestyle was nomadic, not suited for raising an infant. He had no choice but to leave the child in an orphanage.
"Do you know if the child has a name, sir?" The orphanage mother had asked him. He remembered the name carved onto the crib in the basement.
"Thomas. Thomas Midgley Jr."
He would come to regret letting the child live.
Zekram sighed as he enjoyed the soothing waters of the bathhouse. It had been a long time since he had the opportunity of a vacation to get away from his duties as the Great King of the Underworld, but this fiasco which Naruto found himself wrapped up in was the perfect excuse for a quick getaway from the paperwork which hounded him for centuries. It was perfect and relaxing.
"Man, the bathhouses sure know how to ease a man's worries, ain't that right Zeke?"
"Yes… It really does cleanse my soul… Hrk! NARUTO! How did you get in here? And stop calling me Zeke!" Zekram's momentary peace and tranquility was interrupted. He recoiled as he found Naruto sitting on his right, a look of bliss on the shinobi's face as the waters soothed his aching muscles from the fight with Midgley. As Zekram moved away from Naruto, he bumped into another unexpected guest behind him.
"You should relax and enjoy the waters Zeke. It feels almost as good as a massage from Mona Lisa!" The man to Zekram's left let out a perverted giggle. He had black hair with blonde bangs and a goatee.
"AZAZEL, NOT YOU TOO!" Zekram's outburst sent some water surging out of the bath they were in. "What are you doing here you perverted good for nothing fallen?" Azazel winced, feigning an expression of hurt.
"C'mon Zeke, that's no way to talk to an old buddy."
"Stop calling me Zeke!"
"Man, Zeke, you really need to pull that stick out your ass" Said Naruto. Azazel agreed wholeheartedly.
"Yeah Zeke. If you like, I could give you something else to shove up your ass, I guarantee it feels a lot better than a stick." Azazel held up one fist with his pinkie finger stretched, the other hand forming a hole with his index and thumb. He proceeded to put his pinkie finger through the hole and repeated the action while wriggling his eyebrows suggestively. Zekram went red as he erupted.
"GET OUT! THE BOTH OF YOU!"
Naruto recounted what had happened between him and Midgley to the two supernatural leaders.
"Long story short, we fought, I killed him." Azazel and Zekram both sweatdropped at the way Naruto made the long story very short. Zekram wanted to confirm his biggest worry.
"You're sure the Old Satan Faction are unrelated to his incident?" Naruto shook his head negative.
"Nope. Not at all. This guy went mad because of some jealously issues towards one of Azazel's associates." At this, the fallen leader perked up. "Your lab partner, Marie Curie."
"Ah, we were much more than just lab partners, Naruto, have you ever had sex in a radioactive room?" Azazel said while blushing with a perverted grin. Both Naruto and Zekram audibly groaned, having forgotten how sex-crazed the Governor-General of Grigori was.
"What? Just because I get laid more than you two." Azazel fired. The two went red in the face.
"Fuck you Azazel, just because I'm not a horndog like you doesn't mean I don't get laid." Naruto shot back. Zekram, on the other hand, looked embarrassed. He coughed into his fist, trying his best to keep his composure in front of these two idiots.
"It is true that I have not had sexual relations for years." Naruto and Azazel turned to Zekram. Both managed to last half a second before bursting out laughing at the age-old devil.
"BAHAHAHAHAH! No wonder you're always so wound up, Zeke!" Azazel cried while he slapped Naruto's back. Naruto guffawed at the Great King as well.
"OH MAN! So you don't have a stick up your ass?" That comment made them laugh twice as hard and Zekram thrice as red. He roared in anger.
"My wife is bedridden! It would be inappropriate to have sexual relations while she is recovering from a disease fatal to devils!" At that, the two stopped laughing, and actually looked somewhat apologetic for laughing at the devil. Zekram calmed himself as the laughter died.
"If that is all, then I need to speak to Naruto in private regarding devil matters." His words were directed towards the fallen leader, who had done nothing but antagonize the two since he showed up. Azazel shrugged in response, leaving in a swirl of black feathers after bumping fists with Naruto.
"What did you need to talk about?" Naruto asked the Bael patriarch. Zekram leaned back into his chair, looking like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
"The new Satans have been elected." This, Naruto was interested in hearing.
"So who besides Ajuka was picked? Ah, let me guess, Sirzechs? Even though he's goofy at times, there's no way the devils won't pick him since his power is on par with Ajuka's if not stronger. I have no clue who the other two are though."
"You are correct. Sirzechs was elected the new Lucifer, while Ajuka was elected Beelzebub." Hearing those names brought back memories from a thousand years ago, and Naruto saw himself standing over the dead bodies of four of his creations whom he once loved. He shook himself back to focus as Zekram continued.
"Serafall Sitri was elected as the next Leviathan, leaving the position of Asmodeus to Falbium Glasya-Labolas."
Naruto deadpanned at Zekram. "Those two nut jobs, seriously? Do the devil elders expect Ajuka to do all the paperwork?"
At this, Zekram started chuckling, until it got louder and louder and he was full-on laughing madly. "It matters not! Do you know what this means, Naruto? It means I'm free from the burdens of paperwork!" Naruto smiled, glad that his friend was free from burdens, even if he wasn't free from his own yet.
"Come, let us celebrate my freedom, and drink till we forget how old we are!" He'd deal with peace later. For now, he'd rather indulge in his friend's suggestion.
Next chapter or the one after will be when canon DxD begins. With my own twists added, of course.