The music comes to an end, the needle of the record player lifting up. Nothing could beat a moment like this. For this is the first time in forever, that I have felt at peace. My heart is racing, but not in the way it used to. It used to race in fear, but now in anticipation. Good anticipation.
My feet slide off the top of Christians in an almost childlike manner. I think he likes that about me, taking care of me. I think the lack of experience in the whole life department makes him want to help me, nourish and nurture me. I suppose he likes the sense of control. From what I can gather, that is something he takes great pleasure in. He has changed since I met him. In a good way. The cold, stone face I met at the party, has flourished into radiant smiling man. Well maybe, a radiant man that smiles at the most opportune moments. I like that about him. Him being reserved is almost a challenge for me, something always stimulating the mind, keeping me in my toes. I could never ever get bored with Christian, absolutely not.
I don't really how we end up in his bedroom but we do. It's dark and mysterious like him. I love it in here. The silver room is just too boring, here, is freedom. Freedom mixed with fantasy. I never know what can happen in here. Comfortably, we lay in his satin sheets, all tangled and intertwined reading one of my favourite books, the Great Gatsby. Christian holds the book up, whilst I lay against his chest, our feet playing with one another's. He doesn't look up once whilst he reads to me, the words forming from his lips, his tongue curving forming each and every word. I could just lay here all day and watch. Every so often, after a paragraph or so, he pauses and wets his lips and then continues. My body relaxes under the soothing words. That's the thing about Nick Caraway, he never spoke a bad word of anyone, so with the flowing syllables, all tension is lifted from my body.
I think we spend hours up in his bedroom, but I sit there listening to the love of Jay Gatsby. Christian's voice is so smooth and silky, just like I expect Gatsby's to be like. I lay there absorbing each word like a sponge. After a while he comes to the final page, turning it slowly, seeking a glance at me.
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." I gasp at the final line, a sob choking my throat. It gets me every time. Christian looks at me worriedly.
"Anna, what's wrong?"
"Oh nothing, it's just so sad." A few rogue tears fall.
"Oh.. Anna, I told you love stories never happen."
"He loved her so much, he waited and waited, have her everything she could possibly want and it still wasn't enough. It's not fair." I whimper.
"I know, sweetheart, I know." He smooths my hair trying to soothe me.
"He even covered up a murder she committed."
"Sometimes love just isn't enough."
"You're enough." I smile, sadly.
"What?" He asks clearly confused.
"You'll always be enough for me."
"Oh Anna."
He scoops me up into his arms, like I'm a baby, cradling me close to his warm chest. Christian squeezes tightly and I flinch. He gives an inquiring glance.
"My back." I grit.
As he registers what I'm saying, his mouth firms a little 'o' shape, realising. I lean forward, gazing into his eyes, silently thanking him for not making a big deal out if it. That's another thing I like, Christian's promises are never broken. Full of courage, I hook my arms around his neck, dragging it down to my level. My lips pucker, slowly meeting his. Christian's lips are so soft, making me conscious of my own. I fight the feeling to pull back due to my anxiety and continue kissing the gorgeous man in front of me.
He has a quick pace, something that I can never get used to. I am forever trying to keep up the fast rhythm of smacking lips and swirling tongues. My eyes are screwed shut, just enjoying this intimate moment. Christian's hands are all over me like a rash. No forget that, like a terminal disease. I can not get them off me. Not that I'm complaining. It feels wonderful. The way his hands move to the contours of my body, cupping my breasts and my behind. Oh Christian! Im literally in heaven. I can't help but let out moan. Its too much, yet everything I want.
"Make love to me" the words just slip right out. Well I've said them now.
"Anna.." his voice has the underlying tone of warning.
"Please." I lay back on the bed exhausted from the frustration.
"You're a virgin Anna."
"I think I know that Christian." I retort.
He chuckled at that.
"Please…" I whine.
I open my thighs wide and then squeeze them together, teasing him. Lust ravages his eyes.
"Please."
"Anna, you're not ready."
I lay back down on the bed and buck my hips.
"Please Mr Grey" I moan loudly.
My eyes are closed, I hear him take in a big breath, inhaling slowly. He exhales loudly and comes plummeting down on me, his mouth against my ear.
"Fuck it."
Christian kisses along my neck, sucking and tugging and nibbling on my skin. Little purple bruises, or love bites appear, decorating my flesh. I am restless under him grasp. My body wiggles and fidgets, wanting more, more of him. I am a mess. I pant and moan just wanting… needing more. The pressure between my legs is just too much and he's only touching me.
"Please.." I beg, bucking my hips yet again.
"What do you want Anastasia." His voice is loud and assertive,very dominant.
"Y-you… " I moan loudly.
With that his hands dive to my skirt, yanking it down, not even caring if it rips. He looks so primal, animalistic even, rating away my clothing like a starved man looking for for food. He reaches my panties and looks up at me for permission. As soon as I nod, they're gone, shredded onto the floor. The coolness hits me, sending shivers up my spine. Christian just sits there and gawks, taking in the sight. He runs his hand through the thin barrier of public hair.
"I like this." He growls, touching it again, moving lower and lower.
My breath hitches, as his fingers toy with my wetness. He lathers his hand in my pleasure, making it easier for his fingers to work their magic. He trails his thumb back and forth along my clit, making me break under the sensation. My stomach almost knots and twists. Christian cups me, flicking me, letting me moan under his single touch.
"Oh Anna, I like you like this. All sweaty, not bad mouthing me, just coming undone."
My stomach knots and and the pressure is building even more. I look up panicked, to a reassuring Christian.
"Let it go baby, let me watch you." He pulls my thighs wider apart, flicking and toying even quicker. The pressure is about to explode. I might be dying. My loans circle the air, as I grab the sheets around me. My head is thrown back and I let go like he told me to. My legs shake as I come undone, wobbling freely in the air. I come back into reality panting, stars of euphoria in eyesight.
"You look so beautiful Anna." I smile at him, weakly.
He doesn't waste a second, kissing me again. Bringing his weight onto me. Our hips circle, grinding against one another. The pressure is back again. Christian's erection digs deeply into my pelvic bone. Oh I want him now. He seems to occupied with my breasts, touching them delicately, handling each one with care. All of a sudden he takes one hard nub into his mouth, sucking, grazing his teeth against it gently. My head falls backwards. Oh Christian. I moan over and over. His hardness grinds deeper, I've never wanted something so much. With his free hand, it finds its way to my other breast, kneading it like dough, playing with my nipple in the process.
"Ah.. p-plea...se. Chris...please." I moan, struggling to even string a sentence.
My back arches, curving as another moan rips through my body. The nipple between his teeth is sore, but the good kind. The type of good that makes me want it have it continued. But I need him now.
Christian hovers over, looking deeply into my eyes. All I can see is lust. Maybe it's just in his, but I have a feeling our eyes a mirrored, equal, sharing the same wants. He kisses my forehead gently, "are you sure Anastasia, it will hurt sweetheart."
I shake my head, bit caring if it would hurt. "Please."
He nod and goes over to his drawer pulling out a condom, leaving it on top of the cabinet. His trousers come off, so does his boxers and that's when I fully see how big he actually is. Oh my god.holy shitting hell. God please help me.
Christian looks at me weirdly and then laughs, the type of laugh you would hear feoma child, the contagious type of laugh. I laugh back.
"Anna, it will be fine. If you want to stop at any point, I will. I won't be mad. You tell if you wanna stop and I will. I promise." Christian never breaks his promises.
The foil packet is loud when it opens in the silence of his room. Christian roles it on with ease and I can't help but sit there and watch, like the inquisitive girl I am. He pushes me back down onto the bed, very carefully making sure I'm comfortable. I wrap my arms around his neck as he starts to kiss me again. Our tongues silhouette with each other, a dance in which I will never forget. Slowly, Christian raises his hips, adjusting himself to the right position. I can tell he's a pro at this. He pushes in me with a hiss, burning his head in my hair. I bite my lip from the pain. It's apparent, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I can handle pain. There's a stinging sensation, like one you have after a burn or scratch but nothing that would even ruin this amazing moment.
Christian gives me time to adjust, before moving. When he does move I gasp loudly. He pushes back in hitting something good, very good. I moan almost instantly. I can't control myself. Subconsciously, I wrap my legs around Christian. This allows him better angle and it just writhes me pleasure. My hips join his, picking up the simple rhythm. In and out, moan and moan.
I hear Christian have a few uneasy breathes "fuck… baby you're so tight."
His face is buried in my neck, tangled in my hair. I lay there breaking uncontrollably under his touch, like a wishbone on Thanksgiving.
"Oh baby… ahh.. Anna… fuck."
"Ughh…Christian." I come undone again, more worse than last time, my entire body spasms. Not so long after, Christian collapses on top of me, panting, sweat dripping from everywhere, coming undone himself.
A rye smile erupts on Christian's face, " fucking hell, that was fantastic." He says between harsh breathes. This makes me giggle, pushing my matted hair away from my forehead. I am sore but if that's the reminder of what's just happened, I'll gladly take.
I finally know why sex is such a big deal now.
"Anna..?"
"Yeah?" I smile sweetly,staring into his grey orbes.
"Was that okay?"
"Christian that was amazing."
"I'm glad." He smiles widely, bigger than the world itself.
We lay there, sweat clad and smelly but there in this moment, I feel like the most empowered person ever. Christian falls asleep with his head on my chest, ironic really. I stroke it, loving the feeling of the locks in my hand. For once I feel like the most powerful person ever.
I Anastasia Steele, just lost my virginity to a crazy billionaire and I fucking love it.