Trying Too Hard

There's quite a few fics where Cameron becomes pregnant. It's fortunate that, as a terminator, Cameron usually has no issues conceiving a baby. Human couples usually have to try extremely hard to have a kid.

And then, my twisted little brain came up with this.

FYI, I don't know if this actually works.

"C'mon! C'mon!"

The screen on the test flashed a big negative sign.

"DAMMIT!" John slammed his fist into the wall. Cameron threw the pregnancy test into the trash along with the others.

"That is the fifth one, John," Cameron said.

Ever since they defeated Skynet and moved out of Sarah's house, John and Cameron had wanted a real family. There were no issues in setting up a marriage license or buying a home. But more than anything, John wanted a child. At first, they believed it would be impossible and they would need to adopt, but Catherin offered to run some tests on Cameron. Apparently, due to some science lingo that went way over John's head, Cameron would be able to conceive.

The first night, they had barely gotten home before they got each other naked. Unfortunately, it ended in failure. As did the next few nights.

"Do you think there is something wrong with me?" Cameron asked.

"No!" John said. "No, no, no! Lots of couples need to try several times before it works."

"But we are not 'most couples' John," Cameron said, sorrow clear in her voice.

John let out a sigh. He was running out of ideas too. "Look, I'll make an appointment with Weaver to see if we can use nanites or something to help you. I promise we will have this baby."

"Okay," Cameron said. "Let us sleep for the evening then."

The two headed back to their bedroom and lay down next to each other. John was fast asleep in seconds but Cameron was too worried about their chances of having a child. She took their iPad from the table and began searching for ways to help. She knew she couldn't trust any sites with terminator biology, so she went for another route.

"How," she read out loud, "can I improve my chances of having a baby?"

One of the biggest entries involved spicing up the sex life. Now that she thought about it, John was not nearly interested as he used to be. He seemed to be bored when she discussed having a baby. She went back to the search tool and looked up a new topic.

"How can I improve my sex life?"

…

The next day, John looked inside the bag his wife had bought while he was at work. "Uh, Cam? Is Savannah going to high school yet?"

"No," she called from the bathroom.

"Then why is there a schoolgirl outfit in here?"

"That is for me."

"What?"

"Please enter the bedroom."

John had no idea what his wife was doing, but he decided to go with it. There was a desk inside with a ruler, calculator, and pencil. When he sat down, Cameron entered in a sexy schoolgirl outfit and holding a stack of papers.

"Whoa, Cam!" John said. "You look hot!"

"Please, no talking during class," she said. "Now please do your math homework."

She flopped the pages down on John's desk.

"Uh, what is this?" John asked.

"Roleplay," Cameron said. "A website said this can assist in sex and thus in pregnancy. Many men seem to enjoy this fantasy. I don't know where the actual sex takes place, though. Students and teachers do not typically engage in intercourse."

Laughter filled the room. John had to steady himself from falling over. "That's not what roleplay means! It's supposed to be an act that would naturally lead to sex."

Cameron tilted her head. "I see. Thank you for explaining."

…

John got home from work feeling exhausted. "Hey, Cam! Can we not go out tonight? I'm just too tired!"

No response. He began to search the house. "Cam? Are you around here?"

Something grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him. He yelped in pain. "What the hell? Who are you?"

"Silence human!" The voice sounded familiar.

"W-What? Cam?"

"I require a child to effectively sneak into the human camp," Cameron said. "You will provide the child I need."

"What are you talking about?" John asked.

Cameron loosened her grip. She turned him around to face her. Nothing about her felt angry or evil. Instead, she looked confused. "You said to roleplay something that would result in natural sex. In the future, many of Skynet's infiltrators captured men for the purpose of conception. Humans dubbed them 'Sirens' after the mythological race."

"Okaaaaay," John said. "Let me rephrase. Something that doesn't scare the shit out of me."

"I see. Thank you for explaining."

"Great. Now let go of me so I can change my underwear."

…

John was looking forward to the weekend. Any day where he didn't have to wake up early was a godsend. But when he opened his eyes, everything was still black. In fact, he couldn't see anything. He tried to move his arms, but they were tied to the bedposts. So were his legs.

"Cam!" He shouted. "What's going on?"

He felt a finger press to his lips. "Ssh. I am here. This is a punishment for not performing well."

He felt the blindfold be taken off. Cameron was sitting on him in a black bikini and holding a small whip. "C-C-Cam?" John stuttered. "You're scaring me!"

"You have been a…" Cameron looked at a script that was written on her arm. "Bad boy. You will be…disciplined. And will enjoy it. The safe word is…metal."

"Metal!" he screamed. "Metal!"

"That is not fair," she said. "We have barely started."

Cameron felt like her chances of conceiving were good that night. John, meanwhile, limped throughout the day and had to answer to his neighbors why someone was screaming, "CALL THE COPS!"

…

"I believe that the red Legos go here," Cameron said. "And then the green ones can complete the interior."

John stifled a snicker. "Babe, I don't think this what they mean when they say, 'use toys.'"

"Very well," Cameron said. "But allow me to finish this pyramid. I am eager to see what we complete."

…

"So, one of the sites said to ask for help?" Sarah said on the other end of the phone.

"Yes," Cameron said. "And you were my best choice for advice on sexual matters."

"Really? You couldn't ask anyone else? I can give you some names."

"Sarah, please try to take this seriously."

"It's a little hard to gleefully answer questions about my son's sex life!"

"Why? Did you have issues with Kyle when conceiving?"

"NEVER…ask me that again."

"Alright. Does Derek have trouble keeping you fulfilled?"

CLICK!

"Hello? Sarah?"

…

"OH, HELL NO!"

John stormed out of the room, leaving Cameron alone in her schoolgirl outfit and holding a giant plastic squid.

…

"I am at a loss, John," Cameron said. "My ideas either do not entice you, nor do they aid in conception."

"You know what the problem is, Cameron?" John asked. "We're trying too hard. These things never seem to happen on purpose. So maybe we should just take it one day at a time and not be impatient."

"That is a wise decision," Cameron said. "Wiser than the website."

"No kidding." John rearranged the icepack on his knee. "The Kama Sutra was a horrible idea."

"How was I to know you were unable to do the move?"

"Because I kept screaming that my spine doesn't bend that way."

Husband and wife shared a laugh before they retired to share their bed.

…

Something was shaking John's shoulder and cooing his name. He groggily opened his eyes and sat up. "I swear, if you're tying my feet to the bedpost again…"

"John!" She smiled and held up a positive test. "I am pregnant!"

"No way!" He took the test and held it up to his face. Indeed, there was a plus sign.

"We did it!" He threw his arms around his wife. "You're pregnant! We're gonna be parents! I have a positive test! That you peed on!"

He threw the test into the trash.

"I must inform everyone!" She sprang off the bed and began dialing numbers. "It's Cameron! I'm pregnant!"

She paused and began to frown. "Yes, I called you first! I tested immediately after we had sex!"

Another paused before Cameron glared and put a hand on her hips. "Sarah, there is no need for that kind of language."