Hello everybody.
!WARNING! Hints and mentioning of passive suicidal thoughts withing this chapter!
Veronica is desperate and searches for help. Jessy made a decision for herself and shares some fistful of facts with Acxa in order to open her eyes for another point of view. I wish all of you a lot of fun with this new chapter.
A Worthy Scar
The door opened and Veronica looked in a face almost as teary and empty as her own. Jessy simply gave her a free way in and offered her to take a place on the couch. A crying Kathy, with her head deeply buried in a pillow, was laying in the middle of the couch and this sight tightened the throat of the woman. The sad and somber mood was laying heavy in the quarter and Veronica heard the voices from Freyda and the rest of the kids from the other room. Kathy looked up, as the woman took carefully place beside her. Veronica sobbed for herself, as she recognized the desperate look of the little child. The girl let herself fall against Acxa's girlfriend, while a hot stream of tears kept running out of her red cried eyes. She buried her head within Veronica's lap with a heavy sob. The woman wrapped her arms around the little child and both cried along for a while, together with Jessy, who had also taken place on the couch to stroke gently Kathy's back.
"Don… Don… Don't want… want… to… le… leave. Wa… Want… Want to st… st… stay h… here wi… wi… with everyone..."
The desperate child barely managed to form the words between her sobbing breaths. Veronica placed a soothing kiss on the forehead of the poor girl and pulled her closer.
"I also don't want you to leave." She looked up to Jessy. "None of you."
The upper lip of the teenager was quivering heavily.
"Why aren't you in your quarter with Acxa? She needs you now."
Jessy's eyes widened for a brief moment at the painful look of the woman in front of her. Veronica's eyes wandered helpless thought the quarter.
"She is… She… She hasn't even cried anymore. She's almost apathetic, Jessy. She has thrown her blade away."
Jessy's shocked look proved Veronica, that the teenager had understood the weight of this action. The big girl shared looks with Kathy, who had paused her crying in order to observe both with a deeply worried face. The teenager closed her eyes for a moment, before she quickly left the room towards the sleeping room of the kids. Veronica's look followed her until the doorway had swallowed the girl. She shared a baffled look with the little girl in her arms, but the child also seemed to wonder, why Jessy had left the room. It took some time, but suddenly Jessy returned. Her look was determent, but tears were rolling down her cheeks. She stopped before Veronica and Kathy and reached out her hands for both.
"Come on, Acxa cannot do this alone." She pressed her eyelids together and sobbed hard. She almost stumbled, but Kathy and Veronica aided her stand. She shared a thankful look with Veronica and placed a kiss on Kathy's head. "None of us can."
Jessy straighten up and tugged on her cloth to correct the fit.
"I'll talk a word with her. Wait here with Kathy. I'll call you, when I have talked with Acxa."
Acxa was sitting on the bed again, at the same spot, where Veronica had found her, hours ago. But this time it was different. She was empty and far beyond any sadness or frustration. These emotions had left her on the way back to the quarter with Veronica. She had stopped crying on the way back. She hadn't yelled in anger or frustration, she had done nothing. She was damned to do nothing. She had no clue what else she could do, so she felt quiet. The Galra was holding a frame in her hand with a picture of her and Veronica, Lance had made some weeks ago on Earth. It was a real photo, Lance had told her, that a real picture was always better than a digital. Like Ronan had mentioned, it held up memories of good times and a chance to say goodbye. To say goodbye to her honor. She placed a kiss on the frame and brushed with her fingers over the image of Veronica. It would also give her the chance to say goodbye. Acxa's feeling had already left her. And Veronica got the point. Feelings could only be found in life.
"Don't even dare to think about it!"
Acxa's head turned to the doorway. Jessy was walking in with an angry shaking voice. The Galra hadn't noticed that anyone had entered the quarter, but before she could say anything, she felt the teenager slapping hard her cheek. Acxa pressed her hand against her burning skin and faced the trembling girl with shock and confusion. Jessy's face was a mask of rage and grief and tears were filling her eyes.
"I know this look, Acxa! You have no idea how often I have made the same during the last months!"
Both kept staring at each other, Acxa in shock, Jessy in burning anger but also with worries. The teenager snorted sarcastic.
"You really want to have it the Galran way, fine. What about that. Do you really think Ronan would have given the Call to you, if he would have been in doubt about you're worthy or not?"
Jessy observed the Galra pensively and she didn't miss a slight jerk of Acxa's mouth. It added a glimmer in her eyes.
"Let me ask you something, Acxa. Would you die for your love, in order to protect her?"
Acxa's muscles tensioned up at this quote. A warning fire came back to her eyes, which made Jessy form a dangerous grin.
"What about the others? Hunk? Pidge? What about Veronica's brother? What about Allura? Tell me Acxa, would you die for one of them, in order to protect them? In order to rescue them?"
"Of cause I would."
It was a offended hissing from the Galra, but it only let grow the devilish and provocative grin on Jessy's face.
"Of cause you would. This is so much the Galra warrior. So much this damn brave and honorable soldier."
The voice of the teenager was dipping from sarcasm. And it worked. Acxa jumped up from the bed and tried to hit the teenager with her backhand in the face, but Jessy had expected this move and simply blocked the strike, gripping Acxa at her wrist. She kicked at the legs of the Galra, but Acxa jumped aside, using the momentum to make Jessy stumble for a moment. She freed herself from the grip of the teenager and tried to place a blow at the ribcage of the girl. But the girl blocked the Galra again with a mocking laugh, which made Acxa really furious. She tried a hard kick at Jessy's head, which the girl was only able to block with both hands and landed a good punch at her face. The bottom lip of the teenager cut open, bleeding instantly. She stumbled back two steps, shacking her head a bit.
Both kept frozen on spot. Acxa stared in shock at her own hands and then back to the teenager, who spitted some blood on the floor. Jessy touched her cut twice, hissing a bit in pain, but then she lifted her head and faced Acxa with an almost smug smile on her lips.
"Good. Now tell me Acxa, how could I offended your honor, when you seem to believe you haven't any honor left?"
Tears started to come to Acxa's eyes and the smug smile of the teenager turned into a relieved one. She left her fighting position and came closer to the Galra.
"You wouldn't be here and trying to fix things you have done before, if you haven't any honor in you. And you have a lot honor in you, Acxa."
And then she let the Galra fall in her arms to cry out her emotions. She guided her back to the bed and after a little hesitation she started to hum the soothing lullaby for her for a while. Her voice was teary as well, as she spoke to the Galra again.
"You're willing to die for them, but are you also willing to live for them in order to protect them?"
Acxa lifted up her head and faced the teary look of the teenager.
"Because you would kill all of them, if you give up now." She paused a moment. "I would have killed Kathy, if I had given up."
She started to sob, which made Acxa pull her in an embrace. Jessy started to cry heavy for a while. Now it was Acxa, who finally dared to start the humming for Jessy. She earned a thankful smile from the teenager.
"I haven't seen my parents die, Acxa. We had managed to escape first, but we haven't found a safe place. My father disappeared, as he sneaked out of our hide one day to find some food for us. My mother was in tears, as he didn't returned. She finally ran out in order to search for him. I couldn't make her stop. I failed to protect her. I haven't even said goodbye to one of them. The disappeared out of my life. I have never seen one of them again."
Her voice felt and she was constantly wiping away her tears, while she continued her story.
"I have known your face, because I have made the same one many nights. I have thought about to go out and die. To end this pain. And I have done so, Acxa. I have done so."
The shock seemed to put a pressure on Acxa's throat with clawed hands. Jessy put up Acxa's hand and squeezed it. She was staring through it.
"I had given up and was wandering aimless around, awaiting the end of this. I had truly given up. Then I heard Kathy's mother screaming. I cannot remember the fight against this bastard, because I haven thought about it. I haven't cared, if he would have hurt me or killed me. It hadn't mattered in this moment for me anymore. But it has mattered after I won. After I had to care for someone again. I have to live for Kathy."
She pressed Acxa's hand so hard, it started to hurt the Galra, but she kept her eyes locked with the burning ones of Jessy.
"Kathy has saved me, Acxa. If I would have given up earlier I would have killed her. I wouldn't have been there to save her. It's sometimes not about ourselves, Acxa."
Her tears finally run dry and she took a deep breath in order to focus herself.
"And if you still prefer the Galran way, I cannot imagine a way, which would hold up more honor, than in living on for someone. Ronan and Freyda prove me this fact every damn day. I expect you to prove me this fact, too, Acxa."
She smiled at the Galra for a moment, but then she winced in pain, hissing a little curse and touched her lip. It was still bleeding a bit and already swelling. Acxa stood up and disappeared in the bathroom. She came back with a cold wet washcloth and handed it over to Jessy with an embarrassed look.
"Sorry, I didn't wanted to..."
"Wrong, you wanted to punch the smugly smile out of my face. That was my plan, remember? Offend your honor to show you, that you have honor."
Jessy was carefully placing the cool washcloth on her lip.
"So don't excuse yourself for it. Show me, that this cut was worthy to take it. Make it a scar, I could be proud of having earned from you."
Acxa pulled the teenager in a close hug, pressing her cheek against Jessy's. The girl had a warm smile on her face, as good as the fresh cut allowed her to smile. Both were still in a hug, as the door of the quarter opened.
"Acxa? Jessy?"
Kathy's worried voice echoed throughout the quarter. Both were about to release each other from the embrace, when Veronica entered the sleeping room with Kathy at her hand.
"Here you are. Sorry but we couldn't wait any longer, so we… Jessy, oh my gosh!"
Veronica's eyes widened in shock. Kathy released a shocked scream and rushed to Jessy, who was still pressing the now little bloody washcloth at her lip. The teenager pulled Kathy's head against her middle.
"Don't worry, it's nothing. A few stitches and everything will be fine again."
She looked up to Veronica, who had faced Acxa with an accusing look.
"It was my fault and my alone. Acxa has helped me and had fetched a washcloth to stop the bleeding."
Veronica's suspicious face remained, but Kathy smiled thankfully at Acxa. The Galra closed her eyes and took a long breath.
"No, it was my fault. Like it was my fault what has happened with Ronan. With his face and with his former life. At least a part of it was my fault."
Kathy's eyes widened in shock and Veronica and Jessy took surprised gasps. The Galra opened her eyes again wit a wet glitter in it.
"I haven't seen the truth. I had closed my eyes before it. And so others got hurt." She looked up to Veronica and Jessy. "But I see it now. And I don't want to close my eyes before it again."
She felt a tugging at her arm and so she turned back to Kathy. The girl watched her with her big green eyes for a while, before she started to speak with a shaky voice.
"Are 'ou sorry?"
Acxa gave the little girl a weak smile.
"More than you can imagine, Kathy."
Kathy kept scanning the Galra with her eyes.
"'ou show them,'ou're sorry?"
Acxa closed her eyes in shame, but she nodded. The child tended her head aside for a moment, before she finally pulled the Galra down to place a kiss on the cheek of the surprised woman. Kathy nuzzled her head on the chest of the Galra and Acxa rested her chin on it.
"Then it's okay. 'ou know better now. 'ou help getting outchies better."
A teary sob escaped Acxa as she pulled the child to her as close as possible. She barely recognized the sniffs from Veronica, who came to her side to wrap her arms around the Galra and the child. But she recognized Jessy, who was about to stand up and leave. She stopped her with a firm grip on her shoulder. The teenager was pulled into the hug by Acxa, before she got a chance to react. Jessy hesitated a moment, but then she also wrapped her arms around Acxa and Veronica.
They didn't know, how long they had stayed in this hug, but all of them was wiping away the rest of some tears as they released each other. Jessy placed a kiss on Kathy's forehead.
"Do you want to stay the night here again, Kathy."
The eyes of the child started to shine bright and a questioning smile approached on her lips as she turned back to Veronica and Acxa. Both nodded at the girl with a warm smile and Veronica recognized, that Acxa had taken her hand and had started to stroke her knuckles with her thumb. It let the smile of the woman grow into a beaming one. Jessy nodded at Kathy and gave her a kiss to say goodbye. She was about to leave the room, when Acxa's voice made her stop.
"You had good teachers, Jessy. The best I think. Thank you."
"No problem, Acxa." She hesitated a moment but then she nodded for herself and looked Acxa directly in her eyes. "I care for my family. For all of them."
Acxa's and Veronica's jaw dropped, but the teenager was gone, before they had a chance to say anything else.