Disclaimer: Just like always, I don't own any of the characters or outside content used in this story.
A.N. Hey it's been a while. Specifically seven months and ten days since my last update. Sorry about that. I honestly did try, and it has resulted in there being like at least a dozen different versions of this chapter floating around in my life. Anyway, I'm back now. I'm not gonna make a schedule for posting cause I never stick to them, but I'm going to do my best to make sure that it's not as long of a break as this last time. Anyway, here it is, the much awaited tenth chapter of A Court of Guns and Glass.
No Lies
I'm standing at the foot of the bed staring at him as hard as I possibly can when he blinks awake. A lazy smile starts to spread across his face, but freezes as he registers my seething glare. His half-smile turns nervous, becoming almost a grimace. I don't say anything just continue to glare at him.
"What?" The uneasiness of his smile creeps into his voice.
"You filed me as your mate?" I can't help the increase of volume that happens as I near the end of my sentence. His grimace fades into a frown and he closes his eyes. I'm surprised at the movement when his bandaged hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose but don't let it break my mask of rage.
"Who told you?" He sounds tired, but the response is so clipped that I know he's pissed.
"Does it matter?" I'm snapping before I can reel in my angry tone. "You made this decision without me. How long ago did you do this?" I find myself fighting to repress burning tears of anger.
"Does it matter?" He echo's my question and drops his hand. When his eyes open they've got that direct and intense look that I've come to find endearing.
I'm astounded. Both by the look and the question. I try to formulate words but only manage to open and close my mouth repeatedly making small gasping noises.
"It's just another form that I have to fill out. Everyone involved with the D'Angelo's has too. It's not that big of a deal." I slam my mouth closed and give him an incredulous look. He continues. "All it means that if something were to happen to me, you would still be protected under the mob."
"Bull." I snap. His eyebrows raise but his gaze remains the same. "It means more than that and you know it, bastard." The insults are keeping me grounded as my vision now begins to blur with burning tears. "Mor told me about it. It makes me your next of kin. It makes me more than your wife. You have to be interviewed by the head of the family to verify the validity." He opens his mouth, but I hold up a finger to him. "You have to prove to this man that you love me, so the form holds." The tears break past the edges of my eyes at that and start to leave searing trails down my face. I drop my head into my hands.
"Fey-" I somehow manage to interrupt him before he can continue.
"Why? Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?" I shake as my sobs worsen, my head in my hands.
"I didn't want to scare you." His voice is low and quiet. I freeze mid sob, raise my head, and look at him. He's staring at the blanket covering his lap.
"If this was just a matter of legality, why would you think it would scare me?" I sound like a quavering little girl and I curse myself for it. He swallows hard and looks up at me. In that moment something inside me clicks into place. He thought it would scare me because it wasn't "just another form" it was something more. Something that he felt deep down in his gut. Something that I felt too. Something that does scare me. I curse him for knowing it.
Despite expecting the words, they still hurt as he says them. "Because it wasn't just a legal thing." He takes a deep breath. "Feyre I-" Before he can finish I've turned on my heel, and I'm booking it out of the room. I walk briskly but don't run, not wanting one of the hospital staff to think there's some kind of emergency. I wipe at my face even though I know it's futile. Strands of snot are beginning to flow and join the salty tears already covering my face.
I walk until I've reached the small waiting room where the others are. Through my almost nonexistent vision I can see Amren and Azriel are sitting in chairs, and Cassian and Mor are taking advantage of the free coffee. I turn to Mor, but still manage to catch Az's eye. He starts to rise, but Amren halts him with a hand on his knee. Cas gasps when he looks at me which causes Mor to turn. She puts her coffee down and takes me by the shoulders. Before I even say anything, she wraps her thin arms around me and I bury my dripping face in her shoulder. "Get me out of here." I whisper. I feel her nod and begin to pull me. I walk numbly with her down the hall, to the elevator, out the door, and to the parking lot. She says nothing as she guides me by the elbow into the back seat of her mini-cooper and buckles my seatbelt. It feels as if I'm a small child, and not a grown woman.
After I'm secured in the seat she closes the door and takes the driver's position. She turns on the car and pulls out. I watch out the window as the hospital shrinks away. Only when it is out of sight do I turn away from the window and close my eyes. Soon I feel myself drifting away, and before I know what's happening I'm asleep.
I've never felt more content in my life. I lay my head down on Tamlin's sweaty chest and breathe in his sent. He runs his fingers through my damp hair. I place feather-light kisses on his chest and smile to myself. When he nuzzles his face into my hair, I know there is nowhere I would rather be.
I close my eyes and just let myself be in the moment. I let my stress and questions roll away. I let the world simply be what it is.
I don't know how long I've been like that, but when I come back to reality Tam's breathing has leveled off into quiet snores. I snuggle into him more. This is the first time I've felt even remotely happy in a long time.
I have confidence now. I new kind that I've never felt before. The special kind of confidence that comes from knowing that a powerful man is your lover. The kind of confidence that comes from the innate knowledge that your powerful lover would use every bit of power he has to protect you from everything.
I gasp awake. It takes me a little to reorient myself. Mor has turned on the music and rolled down the front windows. I look out the window to see that we're driving on a highway. I turn around to make sure that no one is following us.
After I've stared out the back windshield for a good minute I'm content. I turn back around and take a deep breath.
"You hungry?" Mor calls from the front.
"A little." I admit. She reaches over to the passenger seat and hands me back a McDonalds cheeseburger.
"It's a little old now, but it'll do the trick." I thank her and eat in silence.
Once the burger is gone I close my eyes again. "Is it okay if I sleep more?" I ask her.
"Yeah, we've got at least another hour. Take a nap, I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep last night." I nod, and let myself drift again.
His arms are wrapped around my torso. His chest is pressed against my back and his face is nuzzled in my hair. I try to relax, but find that I can't with us in this position. All I can hear is the voice in my head calling me traitor, a slut, a whore. All of those terrible names that belong to women who sleep with different men.
All I can think about is how I'm betraying Tamlin. How I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this. It's too soon. It's not respectful. I need to get away from Rhys.
But then his leg slips over mine and I remember how much I need this, need him. And not just for the body heat. I mean yes, it's freezing and there is no way to make this; the world's smallest motel room; warmer. But I want him. And that's the problem. That's why all these terrible thoughts keep rolling around in my head. I am rather aware of how stiff I am keeping my body, trying to maintain at least an inch between us. I'm clenching every muscle in my body as hard as I can, I can't even breath. The longer we lay here, the more worried I become about suffocation.
But then, he presses his lips against my neck. And whispers so close to my ear that I can feel his breath. "Relax. I won't do anything you don't want me to." A rather violent shiver racks my entire body and he sighs.
Within seconds he's pulling his leg back and detangling himself from me. Another part of my brain screams at me, and rapidly, without thinking I hook my hand around his knee and halt his movement.
"Feyre?" I shake my head and pull my hand into my chest, almost as if touching him burned me. Despite this he keeps his leg where it is.
I wake to a tapping at my knee. I reach up and rub the sleep out of my eyes and am greeted by Mor's smiling face.
"We're here!" She says cheerily. I look out the window to see exactly where "here" is.
I have no idea where we are. Snow is lazily falling from the sky and blankets the ground. I can't see any other people. From my position I can't even see any buildings.
"Where exactly is here?" I ask, trying to keep the aggression out of my voice.
Her response is to point through the front windshield. It's blurry through the snow, but I can kind of make out the shape of a small cabin.
"So, it's a cabin?"
"A cabin overlooking a lake." She nods excitedly.
"A cabin overlooking a lake. Did you rent it?"
"No. We own it. Mine and" she pauses, obviously trying to figure out if she should say Rhys' name or not. She does say it, but she does that "I'm saying it, but not saying it, because I'm coughing" thing before continuing. "Common grandparents bought it in the early 50's."
"And I'm going to stay in this cabin?"
Her excited nod makes another appearance. "Yes. Yes, you are. For however long you need. No one else will bother you."
I narrow my eyes at her. "What's the catch?"
"No catch."
"Mmhmm."
She finally releases a defeated sigh. "Alright, the catch is that Rhys can come get you. It's a family thing, there's no way for me to block him entirely." I nod.
"But," she amends. "I won't tell him you're here, so he'll have to figure it out." I smile at her.
"Alright. I can crash here." A wild grin covers her face.
A.N. I actually have a question for all of you readers, would you like me to post more content about Feyre and Rhys' kids or just stick to the characters from the books?
A.A.N. Once again, I love and appreciate all comments. Even if you don't have an answer for my question.