"I, Nicholas Wilde, promise to be brave, loyal, helpful, and trustworthy."

Nick's own voice from years past rang in his head as he stood there, looking at himself in the mirror. The juxtaposition was almost funny: Nick was standing there in his dressy police uniform; it was the day of his graduation from the academy. But he was standing in his awful leaky, damp apartment. Disregarding that, the contrast between his orange-red fur and the blue of the uniform was a bit striking, as well. He took a deep breath. The day of his big moment, graduating the ZPD police academy, had arrived.

"Brave..."

He sure had struggled with that throughout his life, hadn't he? After being descended upon by those cruel prey kids; after the oath had shattered in his mind and became a perverted, twisted shadow of itself, he knew he had to be careful. Nick knew that sticking his neck out, whether physically or emotionally, would only lead to him getting hurt. So he became a coward. The first brave act he could remember doing in years was sticking up to Chief Bogo, audaciously telling him to uphold his end of the hopeless deal Judy had made with him. Judy had risked everything to just have a chance to prove herself. And what had he done?

He stayed with her. Nick didn't want to think about what would happen if Bellwether or her ram flunkies got their hooves on Judy, but it wouldn't have been good. He was still scared, of course. But Nick had heard the expression that courage wasn't the absence of fear, but the mastery over it. Nick had something to be afraid of that day, all right, and that was losing his new best friend.

"Loyal..."

Nick had a slightly easier time with this one. He desperately wanted to belong; to be a part of a pack. Of course, he wasn't loyal to Judy at first, but only because she irritated him so much. That ridiculous, young, naive bunny, with a tube of fox spray clearly displayed on her hip. She saved his life. More than once, she put his safety before hers. She deserved his loyalty. But when the chips were down and when tensions flared, he was the one to walk out on her and did not seek reconciliation, despite Judy's pathetic cries for him to wait or slow down.

[She's looking for you. I told her where you usually mope.]

The text from Finnick was the most surprising thing he'd seen all month. But he had also remembered what Finnick had told him, that she was likely just looking for him so she could use him again. Indeed, some of the first words out of her mouth were something or another she had figured out about the Nighthowler case. Disgusted that that cynical old fennec was right, and that Nick's own doubts were confirmed, he had turned to leave. But what she said next... it shook him to his very core. He kept his back to her so she couldn't see how much his face was twisting as he tried not to cry himself at her outpouring of uncertainty and regret. Nick resolved from that moment on that he'd do whatever it took to be there for Judy when she needed it. She really tested his newfound conviction in the coming hours, but he held true.

"Helpful..."

Nick had to chuckle. He tried to be as unhelpful as possible to Judy in the beginning. He was street-smart, she was book-smart. He was cynical, she was annoyingly bubbly and optimistic. He cut her down a peg, and it felt good, but only "good" in that hollow way that someone nursing a bitter heart feels. Once he saw that Judy wasn't playing a game, and that, indeed, a game was not being played in Zootopia itself, he put his obstructive act to the side and genuinely wanted to help. Nick's mother had always said she found good in him.

When Judy was laying there on the floor of the museum, her mind wracked with pain, Nick had said "we'll think of something". He looked at the blueberries, and a ghost of an idea came to him. Quickly, he and Judy exchanged ideas, in seconds, as if they were both of the same mind. It was a done deal; their contingency plan if they were caught. Judys head shook once or twice at Nick after they solidified it. Before Judy, Nick had never seen anyone marvel at him like she did. He was, after all, just a fox.

"Trustworthy..."

"Even though you're a fox?" Nick again said the words that had begun the closing of the fist that crushed his spirit. He glared defiantly at himself. Few mammals gave their implicit trust to a fox. Nick wanted to be trusted, liked, appreciated. But after that, he knew it was too much work. With his benign scams, he wasn't really lying to mammals too much, was he? He was that charming and charismatic. No one expected to trust a fox, so his false air of confidence and self-assured nature lulled them in, and then he took advantage of them. It was their fault; no one should trust a sneaky lowlife like a fox.

That just made Judy all the more special. When she said she wanted him as her partner, it was like a dream. A dream he was woken up from way too quickly with her next statements. He knew it couldn't have been real or true. But she came back. She could have gone to anyone else in the city, but she didn't. That bunny came for him. Wanted him, out of any mammal in the city. Anyone else to trust. And then, at the museum... well, Nick knew it couldn't have been easy for Judy. Nick was doing his best to act like the savage, wild animal that Bellwether wanted to see; expected to see. His jaws snapped around Judy's neck and his teeth got just a bit too close. Her scream was so real, it was all Nick could do not to shiver. But she trusted him, and the day was saved.

Nick flinched as he heard a specific ringtone. It was Judy's, he knew because he picked the most bright, bubbly, and borderline obnoxious pop song he could find for it. Nick sighed, but grinned, and headed to the phone. She wanted MuzzleTime? Nick sucked at his teeth, but hit the button, trying to make sure there wasn't too much of his trashy apartment visible behind him.

"Carrots, couldn't you have waited until the ceremony to see me in my dress blues?" Nick tried a handsome smile, but he did let the phone frame his form as well as he could.

"Uh, no...!" Judy retorted in almost a chirp, as if this was obvious. She was in her dress uniform as well. "I have to be dignified at the ceremony, so I have to get all of my giddiness out now. Ooh, you look so handsome!" Nick felt warmth start to flood into his ears. Normally when he was called handsome he didn't flinch, because naturally, he was. But something in how Judy said it...

"You don't look so bad yourself," Nick shot back with a smirk. Judy wiggled her head proudly with her eyes closed, as if this was the most genuine compliment Nick could give her.

"So, Nick, you nervous...?" Judy asked pointedly.

"Of course not," Nick lied confidently. "Never been more ready."

"I'm nervous," Judy admitted, giving an almost uncharacteristically shy giggle. "I've practiced my speech twenty times and know it by heart, but..."

"Yeah, given your track record with public speaking, I'm very surprised Bogo agreed to let you speak," Nick smirked.

"I deserve that, I deserve that," Judy looked up and gave a groan that Nick would describe as cute, though not to her face, of course. "But just you wait, you're going to love it."

"I'm sure I will," Nick nodded.

"Oh, speaking of things you'll love and Bogo..." Judy started to almost vibrate; her voice was getting dangerously giddy.

"Uh, that's an odd segue," Nick cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you ready to be my partner?" Judy's face exploded into a huge smile that looked like it might tear her cheeks off it if got any wider.

"That's... that can't be a done deal yet, can it?" Nick felt his pulse start to quicken.

"Just about!" Judy grinned. "I... may have made another bet with Chief Bogo..."

"What!?" Nick's emotions swung to panic. "Fluff! After last time? You know what happened! You had to have a fox bail you out of it just so you got a fair shake!"

"Oh, I learned, all right," Judy said. "I was careful with the terms. If I lost, parking duty for three months. He was all too eager to sign up."

"And... what was the winning condition?" Nick felt curiosity gnawing at him.

"A certain fox making valedictorian," Judy's eyelids fell and she smiled proudly. Nick's ears burned and his heart swelled.

"And... what did you win?" Nick almost was afraid to ask.

"This!" Judy flashed a paper briefly in front of the phone. "An earnestly-worded letter to the mayor strongly pleading that a certain Nicholas Piberius Wilde be allowed to be a certain Judith Hopps' partner...!" Her voice was musical and threatened to burst into happy laughter.

"No way," Nick marveled. "How embarrassing!"

"Right!?" Judy squealed. "We're going to be such great partners, Nick!" Judy bounced around in total excitement. She sure knew herself, Nick thought. She did need to get some of that giddiness out.

"Wow, try to control yourself," Nick said, though he was also talking to his tail. It was wagging furiously behind him, the only traitor to his inner emotions. He was pretty sure it wasn't in the frame of his phone.

"Okay, okay, calming down," Judy said, steadying the phone with one hand and gesturing with the others. "I'm calm. I'm collected. ...I'm not calm!" Judy bounced one more time. "I'm calm again. Okay. I should get moving and practice my speech three more times, at least. See you!"

"Bye, Carrots," Nick waved, and shut the phone off. He gave a warm, happy sigh. What a bunny.

Shoving his hands into his pockets to make sure he had everything he needed, his eyes widened a bit as he felt the familiar cloth of his Junior Ranger Scout handkerchief he never let go of. His other hand felt the familiar plastic of Judy's carrot recorder pen. He took both of them out and put them on his desk.

He was going to do it. Nick was going to be part of a pack; fighting for the greater good, like he really always wanted. Did he really still need that handkerchief to remind him of what he lost so long ago?

And the carrot pen. Nick kept it as his link to Judy once they split apart. A bitter reminder of what he gave up, and who outsmarted him. But it was more than that now, wasn't it? A symbol of their friendship, trust, and of course, wittiness and guile. But he didn't need that anymore either, did he? He had her.

Nick exhaled again. He'd never felt this before. A combination of fear, anxiety, warmth, and tranquility, all at once. But the rest of his life awaited. Time to let go of the past.

He headed to his door and opened it, staring blankly into the hall. He shot a look back to those discarded memoirs.

Nick's paw reached out and scooped up the carrot pen.

After all, Judy would probably end up saying something funny.