A/N: Credit to Purple mCCoy for this chapter idea.
Chapter 5: What's Love?
It was the middle of the night in the Griffin House… but almost no one was asleep. It was noisy in the master bedroom. The girls in Meg's room were staring at the ceiling, in Chris' room Chopper tried to block out the sounds, Chris also stared at the ceiling as well, the Evil Monkey was wondering what was going on. Stewie was the only one who was asleep (being a baby), the living room Zoro was even awake…
Luffy asked something "What are they doing in there?"
"Nothing…" said the other three.
"IT sounds like their doing something…" said Luffy.
"Just ignore it…" said Usopp.
"But I want to know what's going on…" cried Luffy.
"Just ignore it!" said Usopp, Zoro and Sanji.
The next morning Usopp was walking to school by himself when he passed by Herbert's house, Herbert went to get the mail and noticed Usopp.
"Your one of those pirates from TV… would you like to come in?" asked Herbert.
"No… I have school…" said Usopp really creeped out.
"You could always come after school… I've been lonely since that little boy disappeared…" said Herbert.
(Flashback)
There was a boy in Herbert's house he looked scared and had weird lines on his face.
"Well now Jiko… what do you want to now?" asked Herbert holding a dark green book.
"Um… well…" said Jiko, the little boy.
The doorbell rang and Jiko got it… it was a young woman with blonde hair and a teenaged boy that looked like a Goth kid.
"So you're the mamodo…" said the woman.
"Yes… and if you're here to burn my book…" said Jiko getting into a battle stance then collapsed to his knees and began to cry "Please! Please burn my book! He does things… terrible things!" he cried.
"What are you talking about?" asked Herbert, "What terrible things?"
"Just please burn my book!" cried Jiko.
The Goth boy grabbed the book from Herbert… both the boy and women along with Jiko went outside Herbert fallowed them. The Goth kid tossed the book into the air.
"Reis!" said the woman reading it from a glowing black book.
The Goth kid shot a purple orb at the green book, it caught on fire. The kid began to disappear while shouting happily "I'm free! I'm free!"
Herbert looked down sadly "I'm sure going to miss him… especially that nice body of his…"
"What did that guy do to him?" asked the Goth kid.
The woman whispered it into his ear "Oh…" said the Goth kid quietly.
(End of flashback)
"Maybe…" said Usopp who ran away.
Later a school Meg was at her locker when Neil walked up to her.
"Well hello Meg…" said Neil.
"I thought you said you wouldn't date if I hung out the with the Straw Hats…" said Meg.
"I realized something, just because you don't like someone and the girl you think is hot hangs out with them doesn't mean you can date because of you still can't date her…" said Neil.
Meg had to think fast… then she came up with the idea…
"I don't think I see you see I'm dating someone…" said Meg.
"What who?" said Neil surprised.
"Well it's…" said Meg.
Later during lunch…
"Hey Usopp I need to talk to you…" said Meg.
"Okay…" said Usopp pushing his school lunch to Luffy.
"Yay more food!" cheered Luffy.
Usopp and Meg went into the hallway.
"What is it?" asked Usopp.
"Well… ItoldNeilthatyouandmearedating!" said Meg very quickly.
"Whoa, whoa… slow down…" said Usopp.
"I told Neil that you and me are dating." said Meg.
"What?" said Usopp.
"I know I panicked…" said Meg.
"You know for a good lie but this…" said Usopp.
"I know! Just please say yes!" said Meg.
"If I do we're probably going to have to show everyone we're dating…" said Usopp.
"I know don't worry I've done something like that before…" said Meg.
"Then my answer is…" said Usopp.
That night during dinner…
"So does anyone have any announcements to make?" asked Peter.
Luffy was about to ask something when Nami said "No Luffy you can not ask about what Peter and Lois do in their bedroom…"
"I do… I'm dating someone…" said Meg.
"WHAT!" yelled Peter.
In Washington DC…
"I admit it… the war in Iraq was just for Oil…" said President Bush to a new conference.
Back in the Griffin Dinning Room…
"Is this a joke?" asked Peter.
"It isn't…" said Meg, "I'm really dating someone"
On the News…
"People are reports of flying pigs…" said Dianne Simmons.
"So I guess we can expect to see Dianne spouting wings very soon…" said Tom Tucker.
"Bite me Tom." said Dianne Simmons.
Back in the Dinning Room…
"So who is it?" asked Lois.
"Well you know him…" said Meg.
"It Sanji isn't it?" asked Peter.
He got up and socked Sanji in the face.
"First my wife and now my daughter… I know she's ugly which I'm surprised because I thought you were afraid of her…" rambled Peter.
Everyone stared at him, "No dad… I'm dating Usopp…" said Meg.
"Sorry Sanji…" said Peter who got a kick in the head from the annoyed chef.
"Now we're even…" said Sanji.
Peter got up and took his seat, "Oh man I haven't been this much of a Jackass since I went to Pleasure Isalnd…" said Peter.
(Flashback)
Peter was with Pinocchio.
"Hey Pinocchio … is it true that people here turn into jackasses?" asked Peter.
"I don't know…" said Pinocchio.
Peter was in pain…
"Oh no! I'm turning into a Jackass…" said Peter.
He ripped off his shirt… and suddenly a tattoo appeared on his back of him and underneath it was his laugh. He turned around and said "This is Peter Griffin and I'm going to show Pinocchio my pet termite…"
Peter had a termite in his he let it go and it began to devour Pinocchio.
"Why Peter? Why!" cried Pinocchio.
Peter just gave his trademark laugh as the Jackass music played.
(End of Flashback)
The next day Meg and Usopp was walking to school together… when Herbert came out.
"Well isn't the pirate boy… would you like to come after school… with my gorgeous of a beauty girlfriend…" said Usopp.
Both Meg and stared at him…
"Okay… I'm officially been hanging out way too much with Sanji…" thought Usopp.
"We should get going now…" said Usopp grabbing Meg.
Herbert was upset, "How dare that long nosed handsome young man get a girl friend with out telling me?" said Herbert to himself.
Back with Usopp and Meg…
"So he's been bothering you?" asked Meg.
"Yeah that was one of the things I why agreed… the other is a lack of fangirls…" said Usopp.
(Flashback)
The doorbell rang to the Griffin's house rang, Usopp got it, he opened it and it was beautiful young woman.
"Sanji!" squealed the young woman but realized it was Usopp, "Oh it just you…"
Usopp shut the door then the bell rang again. It was another young woman.
"Zoro!" squealed the young woman but realized it was Usopp, "Oh it just you…"
Usopp shut the door again and once again the bell rang. It was yet another young woman.
"Luffy!" squealed the young woman but realized it was Usopp, "Oh it just you…"
Usopp once again shut the door and once again, the bell rang, of course it was a young woman.
"Chopper!" squealed the young woman but realized it was Usopp, "Oh it just you…"
Usopp sighed and shut the door… of course it rang once again. It was yet another young woman.
"Carue!" the young woman but realized it was Usopp, "Oh it just you…"
Usopp stared at the young woman.
"How the hell does Carue have fangirls?" he thought.
(End of Flashback)
Later that day just about everyone was in the living room watching TV, Sesame Street was on.
(Cutaway)
"1… 2… 3… cats" said the Count, counting cat.
Suddenly Blade showed up.
"Your going down Vamp!" yelled Blade.
The two began to fight.
Blade kicked Count in the chest but Count turned into a bat. Blade managed to close line the vampire Muppet.
In the end, Blade got the count with a stake though the heart and the Count turned to dust and blew away in the wind.
(End of Cutaway)
"This is suppose to be kids show?" asked Nami.
"Japan does worse…" said Stewie.
"Good news everyone…" said Peter
"You're sending us to deadly planet fill with space mutants?" asked Luffy.
"where did you get that idea?" asked Vivi.
Luffy shrugged…
"No the County Fairs going on and we're going to tomorrow!"
"And I'm sure if there's a tunnel of Love that Meg and Usopp will go on…" said Luffy.
"Luffy shut up…" said Meg.
"Don't that will encourage him…" whispered Usopp.
"Usopp and Meg sitting in a tree…" sang Luffy.
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" sang Peter.
Peter realized something important…
"My god! I spelled something. I can spell! I can spell! I can spell!" yelled Peter.
"Why is he so excited?" asked Nami.
"That's the first time he's ever spelled anything…" said Lois.
There was an awkward silence in the room.
A few days later they were at the fair.
"Hey Usopp are you going to take your girlfriend to the tunnel of Love?" asked Luffy.
"Shouldn't you be worried about the search of what's no noisy in Lois and Peter's bed room?" asked Usopp.
"Oh yeah…" said Luffy.
"I want you all to be careful… this could be a trap set by General Jelly Jiggler…" said Peter.
Jelly Jiggler showed up out nowhere and said "But I'm a good guy now…"
"Shut up Jiggler, I'm on to you…" said Peter glaring at him.
Jelly Jiggler slumped and walked away sadly.
They were at a shooting gallery, Usopp, Sanji and Luffy were playing.
Usopp hit all the little ducks and won a large toy, which he gave to Meg. Sanji hit a few and got a medium prize, which he gave to Nami… Luffy on the other hand…
"My eye! My eye!" screamed the guy who ran it.
He shot the guy's eye out…
"You know I'm glad Carue didn't see this game…" said Vivi.
At the Griffin House Carue and Evil Monkey were smoking joints while listening to slow ride.
"Quack…" quaked Carue (Translation: did I tell you I'm TV…)
"Eekk!" said Evil Monkey (Translation: That so awesome!)
Back at the fair…
"Let go on the rides!" said Peter.
"Yay!" said Luffy.
Meg sighed… "I know Mom's or someone else is going to make us go on the tunnel of love…" she said.
"Come on Meg! You and Usopp should go on the tunnel of Love!" said Lois.
She grabbed the fake couple to the ride.
Meanwhile Luffy and Peter were going up the climb on the rollercoaster when Luffy finally asked "What do you do with Lois at night that's so noisy?"
Peter thought if he should him… in fact his angel and devil appeared.
"You shouldn't tell him who knows if he's ready or not…" said the little devil guy.
"You should tell him, he's annoying!" said the little angel guy
"Maybe I should listen… hey was the devil the voice of reason and angel said the evil thing?" said Peter.
"We took a bet to take the opposite positions for once…" said the little angel guy.
"Well since the angel guy is good I'll listen to angel guy…" said Peter.
"Wait did you just hear what I said about the bet?" asked the angel guy.
Both disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Okay Luffy here's the deal…" said Peter.
Peter began to whisper it into Luffy's ear… he happened to be done when the roller coaster descended to the drop.
Back with the fake couple it was very awkward on the ride… with all the pink hearts... and stuff.
"Um so…" said Meg.
"You think we should stop this charade?" asked Usopp.
"How did you know?" asked Meg.
"Just a feeling…" said Usopp.
"Yeah… this doesn't feel right… after all you like Kaya…" said Meg.
Usopp a little freaked out, "How did you know that?" said Usopp.
"Anyone can see that… expect those who pair you with Sanji in fanfics…" said Meg.
Both shuddered, "That is so wrong…" said Usopp.
"I know…" said Meg.
"So just friends…" said Usopp.
"Yeah…" said Meg.
They left the ride… to find Luffy shaking like a leaf on the bench.
"What wrong?" asked Meg.
"I found out what Peter and Lois do in their bedroom late at night…" he said.
Later on the way home…
"So did you two have fun in the tunnel of love?" asked Lois.
"We broke up…" said Usopp.
"Well I figured you'd break up the fake relationship if I pushed you there…" said Lois.
Both Usopp and Meg looked at each other.
"You knew?" asked Usopp.
"Oh yeah…" said Lois.
"It was obvious…" said Nami.
"Too obvious…" said Sanji.
"Any could see it…" said Brian.
"That's right…" said Chris.
"Even I saw though that one…" said Chopper.
"Anyone could guess it was so fake…" said Stewie.
"It was so fake…" said Vivi.
"You had to be an idiot to not see it…" said Zoro.
"You mean it was fake?" asked Peter and Luffy at the same time.
A few days later Usopp was walking to school by himself when he saw Herbert was outside again.
"Well where's your girlfriend?" asked Herbert.
"We broke up…" replied Usopp.
"Say why don't you come after school… I'd like to get a better look of that nose of yours…" said Herbert.
"Maybe…" said Usopp who ran away. "I got to find a better route to school…" he thought.
Next Time: It the chapter you've all been waiting for! The Official Sequel to Luffy VS. the Giant Chicken! Luffy and Peter double team their shared nemesis... the Giant Chicken! Its the Greatest fight of all time! All this next time!