A/N: Yahoo! 2,000 hits!
Chapter 7: 4kids Bad!
The Griffins and the Straw Hats were at the super market… doing Grocery shopping.
"Is this leash really necessary?" asked Luffy who was attached to a leash.
"Not what happened last time…" said Lois.
(Flashback)
"Where's Luffy?" asked Sanji who was with Nami and Lois near the butcher section.
Suddenly Luffy covered in ground beef was pushed though the doors.
"And don't swim in the meat ever again…" yelled the butcher.
Luffy licked himself then turned to Nami, Sanji, and Lois.
"Lick me… I'm delicious…" said Luffy.
Nami, Lois and Sanji stared at Luffy.
"Maybe later…" said Lois in a weirded out way.
(End of Flashback)
"Oooh…" whined Luffy.
Little did they know wash tat someone was taking pictures of them. Those pictures was shown at a secret meeting…
"So it is true… the Straw Hats are in Quahog…" said one of the people in this evil council…
"Wait we must wait for the leader before we discus this matter…" said another person.
Suddenly the Darth Vader theme began to play as a figure looking similar to Emperor Palpatine except his face was hidden by the shadow of his hood showed up with some guy holding a boom box playing that music.
"All hail Alfred E. Kahn!" said the evil council.
"That's right…" said the man known as Alfred E. Kahn.
"So it is true… the Straw Hats are in Quahog Rode Island…" said a man.
"What members…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Well post drum Isalnd…" said a member of the council.
"Yay! Chopper!" cheered someone in the council.
"Pre-Alabasta…" said a member of the council.
"Boo! No Robin!" booed the same member from earlier.
"Why did you say that?" asked another member.
"Robin's hot, I'd like to tap her ass… is that a problem?" asked the same member from earlier.
"Langue Joey…" said Alfred E. Kahn, "Though I would like to tap that ass as well…" he added mentally.
"Sorry Lord Alfred E. Kahn…" said the member named Joey.
"Now I order you to kidnap them!" called forth Alfred E. Kahn.
"Yes Sir!" answered the rest of this council.
A few hours later at the Griffin Household, Luffy and Peter were watching the Food Network.
(Cut Away)
"And now we return Unwrapped on Food Network… The Channel that's Porno for Fat People" said the announcer.
"I'm Mark Summers ever wonder how Sausages are made… well here you go…" said Mark Summers.
The scene sifted to Sausages being made while funk music was playing in the background.
(End Cutaway)
"Oh yeah…" drooled Peter.
"I can't believe they allow this on TV." sad Luffy.
When suddenly a bunch of people dressed up all in black broke though the windows.
"Monkey D. Luffy your coming with me!" said one of the men.
"Fat chance!" said Luffy.
"What are you calling me fat I thought we were friends…" said Peter.
Brian called from another room "I thought you were okay for being fat!"
"Oh yeah…" said Peter.
"Peter can you help me?" asked Luffy.
"Of course!" said Peter taking a baseball from nowhere.
Some more men came down stairs carrying an unconscious Carue.
"One down… 7 to go…" said one of the men into a walkie-talkie.
"Oh no Carue…" said Luffy, "Maybe the others are having trouble as well…"
In Chris' Room.
The men were in there wanting Chopper.
""What do you want?" asked Chopper.
"We want you come with us to meet our boss." said one of the men.
"There's no way I'm coming with you!" said Chopper.
"Sorry but you have no choice…" said the man.
He took out a tranquilizer gun and shot Chopper.
"That's two down…" said one of the men picking up the down reindeer while talking in to a walkie-talkie.
In Meg's room…
"They you just destroyed my window…" said Meg.
The man who was after Vivi shrugged and shot with the tranquilizer gun… then dragged the unconscious girl away.
"Three down…" said one of the men talking into a walkie-talkie.
In Stewie's Room…
"Why are you in my room again?" asked Stewie.
"I have no idea…" said Usopp who was cowering behind his crib.
Stewie took out a laser and fired at most of the people… but kept looking at Usopp annoyed. Then suddenly Stewie grabbed one of the tranquilizer guns and shot Usopp.
"You owe me big time…" said Stewie.
"Here's a Yu-Gi-Oh card…" said one of them dragging away Usopp.
"That's four down…" said one of the men into a walkie-talkie.
In the Kitchen…
In the kitchen Sanji was defending Nami and Lois… however he was shot as well… fallowed by Nami.
"That's six down…" said one of the men into walkie-talkie.
Back in the living room…
Luffy and Peter were fighting off the guys when one of the shot Luffy with the tranquilizer … the man picked up Luffy.
""That's 7 down…" said the man into walkie-talkie.
"Has anyone found the swordsmen?" asked one of the men though the walkie-talkie.
Both Zoro and Brian came into the shit faced…
"Funny I could have sworn that Brian was in the house when they arrived…" said Peter.
"Found him…" said the man who was holding Luffy.
He shot Zoro and said into the walkie-talkie "All are down… returned to base…"
All of the men that stormed the hose left the building… the Griffins fallowed them just as they all entered an awaiting helicopter.
"Who are you!" demanded Peter.
"We are working for 4kids… we are under direct orders from Alfred E. Kahn… don't worry you'll have them back… once we're done with them…" said one of the men.
As the helicopter flew away Peter yell "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (cough) (cough)" he began to cough so he went into the kitchen grabbed a glass of water took a few sips, then went back outside and continued to yelled "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!"
Hours later the Straw Hats woke up in a lab… each person or animal in some weird glass tube.
"Where are we?" asked Luffy.
"I don't know…" said Zoro, "But my head hurts…"
"Well maybe if sword boy didn't decided to go get drunk with the dog then maybe we wouldn't be here…" said Sanji.
"Shut up Love Cook!" yelled Zoro.
Suddenly the Vader theme began to play, as the door to lab open Alfred E. Kahn entered the room with the guy that fallows him around wit the boom box.
"So Straw Hats we meet for the first time… I never imagined that we meet in real life…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Who are you!" demanded Luffy.
"I'm Alfred E. Kahn…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Wait I thought you're your middle initial was R, not E…" said Luffy.
"Yeah but technically I'm a parody of the real Al Kahn… and the best for a parody was to replace the R with an E… I hope from people get the joke…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"What are you going to do?" asked Vivi.
"It's not stealing all of our money is it?" asked Nami.
"Always with the money my dear Nami… no it's far worse… I'm going to edit you!" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Dun Dun Dun!" yelled the boom box guy.
"Shut up Steve…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Why?" asked Luffy.
"Because I can… I'm going to make all of you call him "Zolo!"" said Alfred E Kahn.
"No!" yelled Zoro.
"And I'm also going to change all of your voices to match the dubs..." said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Not that!" yelled Nami, "I don't' want to the listen to their horrible voices…"
"At least you sound normal…" said Usopp.
"And I'm going to make your bodies change Alcohol into Juice…" said Al Kahn.
"Can mine be milkshakes?" asked Luffy.
"This isn't Digimon…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"Oooh…" whined Luffy.
"And finally Sanji… every time you touch a cigarette it will be turned into a lollypop…" said Alfred E. Kahn.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Sanji.
"Now began the process by the way… you should wake up back in Quahog…" said Alfred E. Kahn who pressed a button and began to laugh evilly.
The next day at the Griffin's…
Peter was sitting on the couch watching TV.
(Cut away)
There was a tootsie pop commercial on….
"Mr. Owl how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?" asked the little boy in the commercial.
"Let's find out…" said Mr. Owl taking the boy's tootsie pop, "One, Two, Three" said the Mr. Owl then bit it.
"You asshole you were supposed to lick it not bite it!" yelled the little boy who took out a gun and shot Mr. Owl several times.
(End of Cut away)
"Peter aren't you worried?" asked Lois.
"Nope their fine… just like that time they fought the Evil Queen Beryl and won…" said Peter.
"No that was Sailor Moon…" said Brian also in the room.
"The Sound Village…" said Peter.
"That's Naruto…." said Brian.
"Mewtwo…" said Peter.
"Pokemon…" said Brian.
"Zabuza…" said Peter.
"That's Naruto again…" said Brain.
"Oh I got it Zofis…" said Peter.
"That's Zatch Bell…" said Brian.
Just then the door bell rang.
"I'll get the it…" said Lois.
She opened the door and then a one of the men who kidnapped the Straw Hats pushed them back in unconscious.
"Hey you go…" said the man, "Oh yes you may want to read this…" he said handing Lois a pamphlet.
"So you've been raped by 4kids…" read Lois.
"That's right… see ya!" said the man who ran away.
The Griffins managed to put the Straw Hats on comfortable positions on the couch… then Luffy began to wake up.
"What happened?" asked Luffy, "What's wrong with my voice?"
"Luffy… are you okay…" said Lois hoping that he remembered them.
"Yeah Lois, I'm fine… expect for my voice… it sounds funny…" said Luffy.
Usopp was the next to wake up.
"Ow… what happened?" he asked.
Everyone awake in the room flinched, "God Usopp you sound like a leprechaun on crack…"
(Cut away)
A twitching leprechaun was sitting in room with a therapist, Santa Claus, Rudolf, Cupid, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy…
"Now what this about?" asked the Leprechaun.
"Now Patty, all your friends wanted to talk about your problem…" said the therapist.
"What problem, I don't have a problem…" said the leprechaun named Patty.
"Yes you do… you are on crack…" said Rudolf.
"I don't have a problem…" said Patty.
"Yes you do remember "the Lucky Charm incident"?" asked Cupid as everyone in the room shuddered.
"I don't have a problem!" yelled Patty.
The therapist took out a bag of crack and threw it… Patty went to fetch it.
"See…" said the therapist.
(End of cut away)
Later everyone was in kitchen there was a meeting.
"So all of you are "edited"?" asked Brian.
"But what I want to know is why 4kids kidnapped us and did this to us…" said Nami.
"Because their evil and they want to take over the world!" yelled Meg in anger, earning stares from everyone in the room.
"Oookay…" said Peter.
"I guess it's not so bad…" said Chopper.
"Not so bad? Every time one of us says my name it come out wrong…" said Zoro.
"Really Zolo?" asked Luffy.
"See!" yelled Zoro.
"I kind of like that new name, Zolo…" said Sanji lighting a cigarette.
"Oh really… say why are you lighting that lollypop?" asked Zoro.
Sanji noticed that he was indeed trying to light a lollypop.
"Can I have that lollypop?" asked Luffy.
Sanji shrugged, "Sure…" said he said giving Luffy the lollypop.
"Well I think…" said Usopp.
Just then Peter took out a roll of tape and began to tape his mouth shut… then threw the tap over his shoulder.
"You may have been here with us for a short time but we already have been though a lot with us…" said Lois.
"Yeah like the time on Mount Doom…" said Peter.
(Cut Away)
Peter was hanging over a volcano Luffy watch him.
"Luffy give me your hand!" said Peter.
"Give me the ring!" said Luffy.
"Fine!" yelled Peter.
He took out an onion ring and gave it to Luffy.
"My precocious…" said Luffy in a very creepy way.
He dipped the onion ring in some sauce and ate it, afterwards he saved Peter.
"All that for an onion ring…" muttered Peter.
(End Flashback)
"So we should ignore it… and try best to get on with it" said Nami.
"That's right…" said Sanji.
"You should go get a cough drop… you sound horrible…" said Peter.
"At least my voice sounds fine…" said Zoro.
Sanji let loose a growl, "Oh yeah Zolo?" asked Sanji.
The tow began to fight as usual.
However they had to cope with some things… a few days later Usopp and Luffy came home from school late.
"What happened?" asked Lois who was worried.
"I had detention because Mr. Berler thought I was joking around with my voice… I can't help if I sound like a leprechaun on crack!" yelled Usopp.
"Were you there because you sound like a home less girl with a sore throat?" asked Lois.
"No I blew up the chem. lab again!" said Luffy as if it something to be proud of.
A few days later Sanji wasn't feeling too good…
"God I need a cigarette… I need a cigarette…" said Sanji, "That's it I'm going with chewing tobacco!"
He took out chewing tobacco form nowhere, opened it and then it turned pink… "Noooooo!" screamed Sanji as it turned to bubble gum.
He collapsed on the ground having a fevered hallucination…
(Sanji's Hallucination)
He was in a smoke filled place.
"Oh Sanji!" said a very feminine voice.
He turned around hopping to find beautiful girls but instead found three girls with beautiful bodies…. But the head of Luffy, Zoro and Usopp… he screamed and turned around quickly… he saw there was a figure in the smoke it… at it came closer it turned out to be a cowboy riding a camel.
"Oh Sanji I missed you so much…" said cowboy jumping down to Sanji and hugging him, Sanji shuddered.
"I have a nose where my winky should be!" said the camel.
(Out of Sanji's hallucination)
Sanji was on the ground shaking like a leaf while in the fetal position. Peter came into the room and saw this…
"Okay… I'll ask to make me something later…" said Peter.
Meanwhile Zoro who was with Brian at the Drunken Clam was crying… crying because he could have his booze…
"It's okay… it's okay…" said Brian.
"It sucks…" sobbed Zoro.
"Great he's a recovering alcoholic…" thought Brian.
The next morning…
Sanji was cooking breakfast as usual…
"Sanji, breakfast delicious…" said Lois.
"Yeah… and…" said Sanji.
"Sanji… are you feeling okay…" said Lois.
"I'm fine woman… I'm, going to take a nap…" said Sanji leaving the stove… the food then caught on fire.
"Not again…" said Lois, "Where did I place the fire extinguisher…"
"A fire I'll help…" said Zoro.
He looked though the cupboards with Lois. Zoro found it first.
"It's not the Joke Fire extinguisher is it?" asked Lois.
Zoro checked, "Nope…" said Zoro who then put out the fire.
"Thanks Zoro." said Lois.
"It was my honor Lois…" said Zoro with his eyes replaced by hearts.
"I'll be right back!" said Lois who ran out of the room screaming "Chopper! Zoro and Sanji's gone crazy!"
Later in the living room Chopper was explaining his findings.
"Well since both of them were forced to give up their vices in such an odd way…" said Chopper, "Both are going though withdrawal… and apparently for some bizarre reason they're acting like each other…"
Luffy laughed, "This might be fun ot watch!" he said.
"This is serious… we need to figure out a way for them to get back to normal…" said Lois.
"No I agree with Luffy… it might be good for once to see Zolo bowing before my feet…" said Nami who began to laugh evilly.
"Well I think someone should put 4kids in their proper place…" said Usopp.
"You have any ideas?" asked Meg.
"Nope… none at all… maybe if someone had the intellect… the plans... the weapons and a hatred for 4kids would figure out a way…" said Usopp.
"Hmmmm…" thought Stewie.
A few hours later… all the members of the Straw Hats met in Stewie's room…
"So why are we in here again?" asked Luffy.
"Some asked us to come… I don 't know who…" said Sanji lazily.
"Well I guess I can answer that question…" said Stewie… who was sitting in one of those spinning chairs, "I have a plan to take them down…"
"Stewie!" yelled all the Straw Hats in surprise.
Next Time: Stewie leads the Straws in a revolt agaisnt 4kids with some help from some anime fans. But can they pull it off, especially since Zoro and Sanji are acting like each other... find out next time.
A/N: Oh man I would love to see a fanfic where Zoro and Sanji switch personalities that's not a one shot or a Yaoi (not much of a Yaoi fan...)... I dare anyone to write one...
also if you don't get why I replaced R with E... I'll explain next chapter (unless you figured out already...)